Effervescent
by RoseGoldExile
Summary: "You're right Damon, absolutely right. I am a virgin, I am judgmental, and maybe I don't have the perfect control over my magic. But you want to know the difference between me and you?" I asked. He cocked his head. "What's that?" "With a little open mindedness, all of those things about me can change. You're still as sad as the day you died."
1. Fine

**A/n: This is my FIRST fanfiction and I hope you guys like it. I don't own any of the characters, but I kind of wished I did. I wrote this story about Bonnie and Damon because I feel like they're the two characters on the show who suffer the most. Also because I feel like they have this undeniable chemistry between them. I love Delena as much as the next fan, but…Bonnie checks Damon and I think he likes it. **

**Anyway, Bonnie's going through it. She doesn't like what's going on around her, she doesn't like being used for her magic, and she's just in a different place in her head. And Damon…well, he's still our favorite vampire. **

**Read and Review. No flames though. Seriously. I'm a bit of a wimp.**

Chapter One: Fine

I sat in the corner of the expansive Salvatore living room pretending to be immersed in a spell book. Everyone else was arguing, something about Elena being in trouble unless we somehow kept Klaus away. Truth be told, I'd read this book at least three other times Elena had been in danger, and the results were still the same.

Nothing could stop an Original.

Well, that's not entirely true. Plenty of things could stop Klaus, I was one of them, but nothing in this book was going to be any true end to him. I'd tried telling Stefan and Damon this on all four of the occasions, but their answers were still the same.

"Bonnie, there has to be something. We can't let anything happen to Elena." That was Stefan.

"Every witch I've seen come into contact with that book could level a city if she wanted too. Maybe the Bennett line finally tapped out." That was Damon.

This book was pretty powerful, but it was only useful if I needed to make potions or, in Damon's case, level a city. I didn't have time for the former and the latter was overkill. Stopping Klaus was going to have to be done the old fashioned way, spirits and magic and a lot of forgiveness I didn't have. The spirits were still pretty pissed about the last time I'd done something to help the vampires, and I couldn't say I blamed them. Sometimes when I sat back and looked at the events over the past six months, I agreed with them.

I couldn't tell Elena that, she wouldn't hear it. I loved my best friend probably more than any sister I could've ever had, but her choices enraged me. She wanted Stefan and he wanted her. Damn whoever else got caught in the crossfire and screw whoever didn't approve. Sometimes I applauded them for being so completely in love with one another. Other times, times like this, I wanted to curse them both into forgetting each other.

The materials for that particular spell still sat in the far corner of my dresser.

I risked a look up and wished I hadn't. Stefan was holding Elena and saying something only she could hear. She tried to get a few words in, something along the lines of her wanting to help I'm sure, but he wasn't hearing any of it. Caroline was going on about having already missed Junior prom and that she wasn't trying to die "for real this time" before she could make it to the Senior prom. Jeremy wanted to be useful, but seeing as if I could talk to more powerful ghosts he didn't really get a lot of use.

And then there was Damon.

The older Salvatore leaned against the wall in the corner of the room, drinking what had to be his fourth glass of bourbon. The blue of his eyes was startling, like small oceans amongst the paleness of his face, and he was trying to keep them both off his brother. It was no secret how he felt about Elena, but there was one of how she felt about him. I'd seen the lingering looks they gave each other after a heated argument. I heard the way she laughed when Damon said something Stefan would never. She wouldn't admit it, especially not to me, that she felt something for him. That in itself was enough conformation.

That and the fact that Damon had been close to death plenty of times and we suddenly had to save him.

And while I'd always watched Damon, how close he stood to human girls and how his temper flared every now and then, I'd never actually watched him without wary eyes. His own eyes were losing the battle of staying away from Stefan and Elena, but only because his other options were Caroline and Jeremy. I saw his jaw tighten when Stefan stroked Elena's face. I saw the crack from his grip travel up the glass he was holding when Elena leaned into Stefan. Vampires didn't need to breathe, but I could've sworn his chest rose with anger.

And then he was looking at me.

I hated when vampires did things like that, especially him. It was like I'd gone from being invisible, to him suddenly staring at me like he had been the whole time. I watched his jaw unclench and noticed his chest fall as he exhaled. He raked his fingers through his jet black hair and took another sip of his bourbon.

Then he stuck his tongue out and flipped me off.

I was leaving. "I've got to go."

Everything stopped and everyone's eyes were on me.

Stefan stepped away from Elena. "Did you find anything?"

I didn't bother with the book speech. "No," I said. "I'll keep looking."

Stefan nodded. "Let us know what you find."

Elena was next. She crossed the room and hugged me. "Thanks Bon, I know it's a pain in the ass to save mine all the time."

I smiled. "Who else would I do it for?"

Caroline joined the hug. "Me hopefully!"

The three of us laughed. it was moments like this that made me wish the Salvatore brothers had never come here. We couldn't laugh or smile because Elena and Matt making out had gone wrong or because Caroline made a joke about some girl's bad accessories. Now we could only smile because we were alive and laugh because we knew something else was coming for us next.

One white crystal, two cups of spelled water, and a vial of vampire's blood. Those were the materials.

I pulled away from them and, after many promises to text when I got home safely, I left the boarding house. When I stepped outside, the sun was almost completely down and the night chill had begun to pick up a little. I got my keys out of my purse and started mumbling a protection spell. Sure there were three vampires who'd jump out here at the slightest sound of trouble, but I still didn't feel completely safe. I hadn't since Elena bumped into Stefan that day.

"Bonnie!" a voice called. "Hey Bonnie, wait up!"

It was Jeremy. I smiled. "I swear I'll text when I'm home."

He shook his head. "That's not what I wanted."

I unlocked my car and threw my bag, and the useless book, inside. "What's up, Jer?"

He looked down, kind of shy. "I just wanted to see how you were."

Bored. Annoyed. Sick of vampires. "I'm fine."

"Shit, anything but fine." he groaned.

I smirked. "And what is that supposed to mean?"

He leaned against my car and looked at me. Jeremy may have been younger, but that didn't hinder his cuteness at all. With most of the towns resident bachelors being dead, undead, or Matt, Jeremy's stock was considerably high. We'd had some pretty close moments, but he still had something for Anna and I wasn't going there. Sometimes I wonder though…

He waved his hand in front of my face. "Jesus, am I that boring?"

I shrugged. "Only slightly."

He bumped me with his shoulder. "Seriously, Bon. What's going on? If you aren't casting spells, you're zoning out. If you aren't zoning out, you're in a corner zoning out."

"Aren't those the same thing?" I asked.

"Bonnie…" He got serious.

I sighed. What could I say? That every since I'd discovered that I was a witch, everyone else had their own agenda for my magic but me? Or how about that one of my best friends couldn't keep herself away from death while the other one was already dead? I was powerful when I was being used and powerless to what I really wanted. My Grams was dead, my father and I hadn't talked in weeks, and I couldn't step two feet out of my front door without stepping into someone else's bullshit.

No, I couldn't say those things.

"I've just had a lot on my mind." I said.

He motioned for me to go on.

I wasn't in the mood. "Look Jer, I'm fine. Really. Stop reading so many Google quotes. Sometimes when a girl says she's fine, she really is."

"It's rare."

"I know."

Jeremy sighed and held up his phone. "When you get home."

"You'll be the first to know." I winked.

He waited until I got in my car before he headed back inside, and waved until I got on the road. I chanted a spell over him, just until I knew he was safe inside the boarding house. All of us had a history of being snatched, grabbed, stabbed, and other things just outside of earshot. We couldn't risk any of that happening again, especially not with Originals out there.

The drive home was quiet and, when I opened the front door, so was the house. it was the peaceful kind of quiet that came with an out late father and a protection spell. I kicked off my shoes and sat in the living room, staring into the empty darkness of the fireplace.

And then I screamed.

Flames sprang to life as my anger roared out of me. A breeze whipped at my hair and sent old newspapers flying around the room. I could feel my power rising, the power that I'd been using for everyone and everything and every goddamn problem that Mystic Falls had. It begged for me to use it, to leave this place, to find something new. It wanted to push the boundaries of every guideline Grams had laid for me and challenge any enemy I had. It didn't want to help Elena or Stefan, it wanted to be free. It wanted to free me. Playing with vampires and werewolves was nothing compared to magic could truly do for me. If I could only get away…

I stopped.

The flames died immediately and my tears started. I was sobbing and rocking back and forth on the couch, holding myself and shaking. I drew my knees up to my chest and sobbed for everything I'd lost. The grandmother I could only see when I needed warning. The relationship with my father who, after finding out I was a witch, couldn't really grasp it. The life I'd had before all of this even came to pass. The future I would never have if everything kept going the way that it did. For the first time in my life, I hated everyone and everything.

And that included my friends.

**A/N: So hopefully you guys enjoyed it. Don't hate me if you didn't. It's a work in progress and I'll get better. Bonnie's not Emo or anything, she's just really misunderstood and out of sync with the rest of the group. Thank you guys for reading!**


	2. Feel

**A/N: So I decided to work on my second chapter pretty soon. I got my first review (Major love to Ragestacheeeee for the review and the name (you're amazing I already know)) and it inspired me to keep writing. I'll be honest, I don't know really know what's going to happen outside of Bonnie and Damon. I'm pretty character driven. I love the internal dramas more so than that of an actual plot because those tend to get out of hand sometimes. I'll work on it.**

**Anyway. Enough of my stalling. **

Chapter Two: Feel

It turns out that the only friend I had that didn't get under my skin was Matt. He smiled when he saw me get out of my car and I felt a genuine smile spread across my own lips. It was good to see someone who knew themselves before everything that started happening, and I was glad that he was more of an outsider to the whole thing. With him, I could have a best friend and a sense of normalcy.

With him, I didn't want to burn my best friend's boyfriend and his brother alive.

We hugged when I got close enough. "Ms. Bennett, was that a smile I saw?"

"Nope." I said. "Face twitch."

"Ah. I've been misreading girls for years then." He shook his head. "No wonder my love life is nonexistent."

I gave him a look. "Not true, plenty of girls like you."

"Freshmen bait and sophomore sluts." he snorted.

"I didn't say they were quality, I said they liked you."

"True, but for legal purposes and minimal chance of STD's, let's just leave my love life nonexistent." he chuckled.

I held up a hand. "To the nonexistent love lives of Matt Donovan and Bonnie Bennett!"

He slapped me five. "Hell yeah! But wait, why is yours nonexistent?"

"Oh, you know, the usual. Prude reputation, my dad, the fact that when I like someone they end up dead. You know, typical shit."

He nodded. "Typical shit indeed. I wouldn't worry about the prude rep though, virgin stock in Mystic Falls is pretty high. A lot of guys don't know exactly what your dad does and, wait. What does he do again?"

Who the hell knew these days?

"Anyway," Matt continued. "When you like someone they end up dead? Well, to my knowledge it was one guy and Caroline was and probably still is really sorry about that. But other guys like you too."

"Yeah. Junior douche bags and senior assholes." I said as we stepped inside of the building.

"I didn't say they were quality, Bon." He shrugged.

"Matt Donovan for the comeback." I gave him a thumbs up.

"Bonnie Bennett for the government issued name use." he bumped fists with me.

"Caroline Forbes for whatever you two are talking about!"

Fuck.

I didn't want to turn around. Not because it was Caroline, I loved her. Really. I just didn't want to see Elena or Stefan at the moment. The three of them tended to travel together whenever they could and it was exhausting trying to keep up with their dynamic. The few times I'd tried weren't really successful. The three of us either got each other or the three of them did. The four of us however was awkward as hell.

To my surprise though, and mainly because Matt mentioned it, Caroline was alone. When I turned to look at her, she was the pinnacle of cheerleading homecoming greatness with straight blonde hair and designer jeans. She did that little crinkle of her nose and leaned down to hug me. I was surprised by how much I wanted to her to. It'd been so long since any of us were on a one on one basis. It was nice to see that she wasn't completely joined at the hip.

Matt thought so too. "The Neutrogena crew isn't travelling together this morning?"

Caroline was quick. "Suck it, Abercrombie. Besides, Stefan and Elena are on their way."

"How on their way?" I asked.

"School parking lot." she chirped.

"Donovan, stage left." Matt said. He was pretty cool about Elena and his break up, and he was even better about her being with Stefan. However, he felt the same way I did about her being in danger. He'd be there when she needed him to be, but he didn't want to witness forbidden love in his face all the time.

Before I could join him on the other hand, Caroline cornered me.

"What's going on with you?" she asked.

Matt stayed. "Something's going on with you?"

"Nothing. No." I said to both of them.

"Bullshit, and I don't mean that freshman's shoes over there." She gestured behind me.

Matt and I looked. "Her shoes aren't that bad Caroline."

"Would you wear them?" she asked.

Pink and black sneaker wedges? No.

"Exactly. Now what's going on with you. You didn't say anything at the meeting last night and you left like super quick."

"I wouldn't call eight o clock super quick in Mystic Falls." I told her.

"I wouldn't call after school super quick in Mystic Falls." Matt agreed.

If he hadn't been with Elena, we might've been soul mates.

She shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Bonnie, I'm serious. I've known you my whole life. I know when something's off. We're best friends, we don't keep secrets."

Like the one you kept about working for Katherine?

Like the one Elena kept about Damon?

Like the ones the Salvatores keep from all of us?

I summoned a smile. "Care, I'm fine. Really."

She let out that growl sigh that, now that she was a vampire, was more growl than sigh. "See! I know you're lying because your heart does this thing-"

"Oh my god, can you not listen to my heart please?" We'd made it to the lockers and were getting our books.

"Well it's not like I mean to! It just does this thing when you lie. It's a human thing."

"I feel like there's a Tell Tale Heart joke in here somewhere." Matt said, looking thoughtful.

"Don't look for it. If you value our friendship, don't look for it." I told him.

"Look for what?" Elena asked.

Double fuck.

"The book that I left in Spanish, yesterday. I'll go find it." Matt said.

"You're going to have to get over it one day, Matt." Caroline smiled.

"I'm over it now, just don't wanna see it. Text me, Bonnie." He said.

_Take me with you, Matt._

"Ladies." Stefan nodded to me and Caroline.

I smiled and closed my locker. "I'll see you guys."

Caroline was a beast. "Like hell, we aren't done!"

"Done what?" Elena asked.

I needed to get away. Or else I'd end up singing the outside of my fireplace again.

"Remember last night when Jeremy said Bonnie was acting weird?" Caroline said.

Jeremy said that? Maybe that's why we couldn't date. His sister would know everything.

"Yeah…but Jeremy likes her. Everything she does is weird to him." Elena said.

Sometimes my best friend's logic was clutch. This was one of those times.

The blonde wasn't hearing it. "See, I thought that too, but then I realized how quiet she was yesterday."

"You were pretty silent, Bonnie." Stefan pointed out.

I needed to get away now.

"I was reading, like everyone wanted me to. I thought that was my thing." I played it off.

"Yeah, but we asked you like three questions and you didn't respond." Caroline said.

Did they? I'd have remembered that.

Elena looked at me, really looked at me. Maybe I didn't give her enough credit sometimes because her love life seemed to be screwing everyone out of their actual lives, but she was pretty shrewd when it came to her friends. She may have been a trouble magnet, a thrill seeker, and somewhat reckless, but she was a damn good friend when she needed to be.

"Bonnie, what's going on?"

The bell rang. The blond and the bold took on a united front. I'd be here all day if the answer was "I'm fine" again.

I sighed. "I just miss Grams. Her birthday is coming up soon, and…I don't know what to do."

Elena and Caroline went from intervention to lifetime in three seconds flat. They both leaned in to hug me. I stopped them.

"Guys, seriously, it's…" You. Your boyfriend. His brother. Your new vampirism. My lack of physical and emotional space. "It's okay. I'm just dealing with it. Everything's cool."

Caroline nodded. "Do you want us to come over after school?"

Negative. Come up with something, Bonnie. "I'm probably going into the woods after school. You know, meditation and stuff."

"Well we can meditate too!" Caroline brightened. "Mom and I went to this Yoga thing in Colorado where all we did for two hours was sit there in quiet and…yeah, you'll call me afterwards?"

I couldn't stop my laugh. "Yeah, I'll call you."

Elena, the shrewd, didn't look convinced. "I'll come by later."

I didn't need her to. "It's fine, Elena. I'll call you when I'm out of the-"

"Yeah so I'll come by. Sans Stefan." she said again.

Months ago, I'd have been thrilled. Now, I kind of wanted to scream.

The late bell rang and the four of us went to our classes. A part of me wanted to blame Jeremy and his inability to keep his cute concerned mouth closed, but my emotional solitude couldn't last forever. Truth be told, if Elena's life hadn't been threatened as much as it had recently, she'd have probably picked up on it a lot sooner and a lot faster than anyone else would have.

Then again, if her life wasn't threatened as much as it had been recently I probably wouldn't have these emotions.

The lie about my Grams birthday was something I regretted as soon as it left my mouth. Although my friends probably didn't catch onto the fact that my Grams birthday had passed already, I still didn't like calling her into conversations like that. I wanted to skip school and summon her, but it wouldn't be the same. While she could walk and talk and even be seen in this plane, I wouldn't be able to feel her. I needed to lay my head in her lap and let her run her fingers through my hair. I wanted to smell her honeysuckle perfume and lilac oils and hear the song she'd hum just for me. I wanted to watch all of her jewelry, the ones with all of their own meanings, sparkle under the sunlight.

The amethyst ring she wore on her thumb was my favorite.

I want to say the day flew by, but it didn't. As a matter of fact, the more I started committing to the idea of going into the forest, the more the day dragged on. At lunch, when all of us ate together, I noticed Elena's eyes on me. She covered it up well with sentence ending kisses with Stefan and gossip with Caroline, but I knew she'd make good on her promise later.

The only issue I had with that was what I would say to her. Caroline can try the heart thing all she wanted, but I knew better. So did Elena. Grams was a big part of why I felt the way I did, but she wasn't the only part. I didn't want to save the world or save Elena or keep Mystic Falls from being overrun by the supernatural. At least not for the rest of my life. And speaking of the supernatural, hell I was one of them. Maybe I wasn't evil or on some quest for world domination, but I was just as otherworldly as anything trying to kill us.

The fact of the matter was that I wanted my life to be mine. I wanted to learn about being a witch on my terms, not figuring it out whenever I was threatened. I wanted to mess up spells and turn my hair purple for a week. I wanted to make potions and concoctions that stunk to high hell and made my dad gag. I wanted to contact my mother and tell her that while I know she didn't want to leave me, I could finally see why she didn't come back here. I wanted my magic, my birthright, to be mine. I wanted to be a Bennett witch on my terms. Not everyone else's.

By the time school let out, my earlier mood with Matt was gone and I needed the woods more than ever. I didn't speak to anyone in the hallways and I didn't even consider Caroline's meeting about cheerleading and bake sales. I decided as I got into my car that Mystic Falls would be fine without its power source for awhile. And that if Elena couldn't keep herself out of trouble for more than three hours then we had more pressing issues at hand.

The woods in Mystic Falls didn't look as threatening in the daytime, but I didn't let that fool me. Where there wasn't a vampire, there was something else, and it would always be that way here. I parked my car alongside the road and followed the trail I knew by heart. The calls of nature called to my magic, and I let my barriers down to truly feel it. Seeing everything through magic was completely different than seeing it through normal human eyes. everything was more vibrant, more alive, than it was usually. I knew there was a deer watching me, and that there was nest high on a branch three trees to my left. Grams always told me that if she had to guess, I was an Earth witch. I was starting to think she was right.

I sat on the ground and placed my hands on my knees. Out here, no one would notice the pickup in wind or the growth of extra plants. I let my magic flow deep into the woods as I breathed deep and even, chanting the mantra of peace and clear mind Grams had taught me. I let my inner turmoil towards my life and friends ebb and flow with the waves of my magic, and pushed them harder away from my mind. I leaned my head back as the magic rocked me and soothed me. My voice became deeper and breathier as I let the power take control.

The wind blew through my hair and lifted it off my shoulders. I could feel the lake on the other end of the forest and I pushed at it. I pushed at the trees and was greeted by the rustling of their leaves. The smell of the forest got stronger, the air around me got heavier. I could feel everything, I was everything, the only thing holding me back was my fear of complete abandonment. Grams told me that no matter what happened, no matter what I felt, I had to keep a hold on myself. But sometimes, I didn't want to.

He was coming through the forest.

I could feel him running through the trees, heading towards me. The animals all shrank away from him, burying themselves in hiding places and getting away from Death. The forest silenced as he moved through it, killing the sounds of nature and ringing a deaf quietness through my mind. I counted the seconds until he got closer. Five. Four. Three. Two.

Damon fell to the ground as I projected my magic onto him. Right now, he could feel his blood boiling in his veins and his brain felt like it was splitting in two. I opened my eyes and stared at him as he writhed in pain and cursed me with every word he knew. I smirked as the pain got stronger and the wind blew harder. If he wanted to play, we could.

"What do you want?" My voice still hummed with magic.

He rolled over on his side. "Fuck you, bitch!"

"Not likely. I'll ask again. What do you want?"

He glared at me, blue eyes flashing. "Is this how you greet people?"

"It's how I greet you."

He nodded. "Right, I'm greeted. You can stop now."

"I can. Doesn't mean I will."

A rock came flying at my head.

I jerked my head to the left and watched the rock fly into a tree. When I looked back at Damon, he was gone. By the time I could sense where he was he was already on me. I whipped around and got to my feet, holding my ground. I expected him to backhand me, to try something period, but he didn't. I clenched my jaw and picked a spell in my head. If he did try anything, he'd be on fire within seconds.

He smirked. "Nice trick, witch. Sucks you can't multitask."

My eyes narrowed. "Cheap trick, vampire. We're throwing rocks now?"

"You didn't like the improv?" He raised an eyebrow.

"Almost as much as you liked kissing the ground." I smiled.

"Somebody's feisty today. I like it." He grinned.

Gross. "Did you need something? Why are you here?"

"The woods are public property, Bon Bon. I went for a walk."

Bon Bon? "Don't call me that. Ever."

"Remind you of an ex?"

"No, it's just fucking hideous." I rolled my eyes.

He smiled. Surprisingly it was genuine. "I don't think I've ever heard you say my favorite word."

"I'm not surprised that's your favorite word."

He shrugged. "Says a lot with saying too much. All about action. Pretty subtle. You know, like me."

I laughed before I could help it. "You're subtle?"

"Very."

"Right. The psychotic Salvatore that came to town and killed over a dozen people? Real subtle."

"Everyone gets a little out there sometimes."

I sighed.

"You're working a lot of juju out here, Hermione. Any particular reason?"

I wasn't about to talk my issues over with Damon. "You want me to stop Klaus? This is how."

He made a face. "By bonding with nature?"

"By testing the limits of my power." I spat at him.

He nodded. "Hmm. You know the lake on the other side of the forest was in an uproar."

"I could feel it." I said.

"Looked pretty cool."

"Why are you here?" I asked for the final time. Damon could try the go for a walk bit, but I knew better. His shoes were expensive. All of them. Something left over from his days of old. He hated the woods probably more than Caroline. And that was saying something.

"I felt you."

What? "Excuse me?"

"I felt your magic." He corrected. "I was just about to drive it home with this sorority girl at the Grill, and then I felt it."

This was news to me, I didn't think that could happen. "How was this time different from any other time? Haven't you always been able to feel it?"

"If I had, I wouldn't have come running." he smirked.

"So why did you?"

"I just explained that." his voice was bland.

"No, I mean, if something was so…" I didn't want to say strong. Mostly because if I admitted it out loud, I didn't know how I'd feel about it. "If it called to you and it never had before, why'd you come running?"

He shrugged. "Serious shit happens all the time here, B. If there was a new bad guy, girl, whatever, I needed to at least identify it."

"Or kill it."

He smiled. "That too."

"Well, as you can see, it's nothing." I said. "You can go."

"Are you kidding? I was clear across town and I felt what you did like you were standing in front of me. Did you forget Katherine's still lurking? Have you forgotten about Klaus? Any of them could've came out here and dragged your ass out of here by your-"

"They wouldn't have gotten close." My voice was low and even. Good.

"I got close." he pointed out.

"I knew who you were."

He snorted. "And what about the vampire you won't know."

I cocked my head and smiled my best smile. "If I could knock you on your ass and keep you there, and I know you, what do you think would happen to a vampire I didn't know?"

He shook his head. "You Mystic Falls girls and your underestimating of the supernatural. It'll be the death of you."

"Mystic Falls girls?" I asked.

"You, Caroline, Elena." He stated. "All of you think five seconds in front of your face and forget how mortal you are. You got lucky it was me and not someone else."

"I'm not like them." I said. "And why do you care anyway?"

"I don't." he said. "Elena does."

I raised an eyebrow. "Shouldn't Stefan worry about what Elena's cares and concerns?"

The look Damon gave me, even if it was for a second, wasn't one I'd wish on any human. You definitely needed magic to back it up. Or a gun. Or an arsenal.

"Get your magical ass out of the goddamn woods before I kill you myself." He spat. "You're a Bennett witch, we can't lose you."

I opened my mouth to say something else, but he was gone.

As much as I hated to admit it, maybe douchebag had a point. If he felt, I'm sure he wasn't the only one and it was time for me to head home. I closed my eyes and reined my magic in as quickly as I could. I put my shields back into place, dusted off my jeans, and walked the trail back to my car. I didn't know whether to feel proud that my magic was so powerful it pulled a century old vampire away from what he was doing, or be wary that'd just stepped in more bullshit.

**A/N: Another Chapter down! What did you guys think? Tell me, tell me, tell me! I'm all about reviews! Not because it's a total ego boost (it's not, it just makes me feel special) but mainly because I'm writing for me and YOU! I tried to keep the Bonnie/ Damon interaction as realistic as possible. in my opinion they hate each other, but they don't want each other dead. Maybe at first but…they've proven themselves to each other time and time again and idk, I just like to believe there's some kind of respect there. Maybe. A little. Kind of. Enough of my ranting though, Chapter 3 coming soon!**

**P.S. I kind of have an Idea where I want the story to go. You'll see.**


	3. Taste

**A/N: Hey guys, back again! So I let one of my amazing friends read the fanfiction so far and…she kind of felt like I wasn't really capturing the characters well. Like it was more so my interpretation of what I would do if I were that character. Idk if anyone else feels the same and I love her criticism, but for me…idk. I feel like if I, or anyone of you, were Bonnie, you would feel the same way. Sure her words and some of her actions are Out Of Character, and maybe I should've included that, but if you've noticed, the things that Bonnie thinks and says are different. She's honest with herself, but she doesn't really trust Elena or Caroline with her emotions and she doesn't have anyone to turn to about this huge new thing in her life. I think we can all agree that what Bonnie wants to be is a helper, and what she doesn't want to be is a whiner. Keep in mind that the show really doesn't explore Bonnie as a character. And, while that's fine because Bonnie isn't the main character of the show (although she does and loses the most) that none of us really know what she's thinking. They never really showed her grieve over her grandmother the way she did. They never show Bonnie use magic outside of not being able to control it or using it to save or protect. And to me, she's so much more than that. My goal with this is to capture the girl who made feathers float on her bed with her best friend, and how somewhere along the line she went from teenage witch to problem solver. I have more to say (I really want you guys to get me and what I'm doing), but you aren't here for my monologue!**

Chapter Three: Taste

Of the things I was dreading the most; it was the talk with Elena. Not because I didn't want to confess how I really felt, that wasn't the problem. The problem was that Elena was one of those rare people who was so compassionate that I'd end up telling her everything and breaking down in the middle of my room. And that wasn't something I wanted to do. She would shoulder the blame for how I felt, and beg Stefan and Damon not to let me help protect her because of it. I'd be sidelined long enough for my best friend to be kidnapped or killed, all because I didn't know how to handle everything.

I sighed.

When I pulled into the driveway, my dad was home. That was a surprise, he usually either came home too late or left too early. I never saw his car anymore. If I hadn't ridden in the backseat of it for a majority of my life, I might not have even recognized it. I grabbed my bag out of the backseat and locked my door. I let a tiny bit of my magic go, just enough to feel around the inside of the house, and felt my dad's, just my dad's, aura. Wow. He really was home. I didn't know whether to be happy or confused, but I was nervous either way.

Rudy Hopkins was a serious faced man with square set shoulders and deep smile lines. His hair was growing back after he'd shaved it bald last month, and he still wore the shirt and slacks that made up his suit. His jacket was on the back of the chair at the head of the table, where it always was. He smiled when he saw me, and put down the spoon he'd been stirring with.

"Hey sweetheart." He hugged me. Really hugged me like he used to.

"Hey daddy." I replied, a little shocked. My father and I loved each other, more than anything now that he was all I had left, but it'd been awhile since I'd gotten this from him. When he found out I'd come into my power, he'd been wary of me. Not that he didn't love me or was afraid to be around me, but the love of his life had left him for the exact development I was experiencing. I think he expected me to get mad over having to do the dishes one day and pull a Carrie on him.

"I feel like I haven't seen you in forever." He said.

I nodded. "Conflicting schedules."

"Should I pencil in some time around next Thursday to finish raising my teenage daughter?" he smiled.

"Nope." I shook my head. "Thursday is Grey's Anatomy."

"I'd be talking to a shell."

"At least until the commercials."

We laughed. I loved it.

"By the way, Elena stopped by." He said on his way to the kitchen.

I looked at the clock on my phone. It was barely six. "Why'd she leave so early?"

My dad reached back an hour or so ago. "Saltzman called her. Something family related, she said."

I nodded. "Family related" was code for the Petrova bloodline. Lately Alaric had the idea that maybe if we could identify what in the Petrova line made doppelgangers, or at least what made them so magical in the first place, then maybe I could stop it. It was a good idea in theory, but it would be a lot of work, and it wouldn't be something I could just do at the drop of a dime.

I sat down on the stool in the kitchen and tucked my hair behind my ear. "Why are you home so early?"

He shrugged. "I finished all the reports down at Town Hall. Mystic Falls is trying to generate more revenue, so Mayor Lockwood has us reassessing some properties."

I snickered. "Don't tell me we're getting a Starbucks."

"Even better," he said. "Wal-Mart."

I gasped in fake horror.

He shook his head. "Probably not that extreme, but the Mayor has ideas for tourist attractions and things like that. She said Mystic Falls is brimming with history, why not capitalize on it?"

"Capitalization would kill Mystic Falls."

He nodded. "Hopefully she'll see that."

It wasn't the first time something like this had happened. The last Lockwood we had before Tyler's father tried to open up a McDonald's. He'd preached about job opportunities for the kids and even some for the adults, and it seemed pretty cool to some of us teens who'd only really experienced one outside of Mystic Falls or on road trips. The older generations didn't take too kindly to it though. And had he actually gone through with it, the Lockwood political legacy would've stopped then and there. it was interesting to see all the angry adults around town.

"What are you cooking?" I asked.

"Chicken Parmesan." He said, turning back to the stove. "Wait, you aren't still vegivegafruititarian are you?"

I made a face. "I was vegetarian for two months, dad. Two months."

"And I have never hated cabbage more, baby girl." he smiled.

Dinner that night with my dad made me feel a lot better about everything. I don't know when he got over his aversion to the witch he lived with, but somehow he got back to seeing that I was still his daughter. He told me funny stories about the interns who came from Virginia State that were creeped out about our body count. He said he even heard one girl say that she was in a real live "Forks".

"Whatever that means." my dad said.

I learned that a lot of the town officials were freaked out over the suspicious activities that had been happening, and that they all gathered it happened around the time junior year started. Some of them, especially Sheriff Forbes knew it had to do with the Salvatores, but didn't blame them directly. Whatever Damon had done to her, she liked him a lot more than she would admit.

_I felt you._

His words went through my head on a loop. I still couldn't believe what I'd done out there in the forest. Sure I held a lot of my magic back, too much of it would kill me. However, I didn't know that the steady build of it could be felt by anyone other than me. I was starting to wonder what I'd done this time that I hadn't done any of the other times I'd meditated like that. Had it been the more excessive use of magic? Could it have been some reaction to my channeling?

"You do that a lot now, I've noticed." My dad stole me out of my thoughts.

I shook my head. "Do what?"

"Blank out in the middle of conversation." He replied. "Yesterday was Thursday. Do I need to put on scrubs and give monologues?"

"That'd be so weird."

"I agree. What's going on with you, baby? You were somewhere else just now."

Yeah, with the most hated vampire in town.

"Nothing, nothing. Just, um, school stuff. I think I maybe missed an assignment." It wasn't a total lie. I'd completely forgotten my book report on Catcher in the Rye.

Dad Mode came in strong. "Those grades better still be stellar."

I bit my lip. "Can we settle for a really mean great? The connotation that comes with stellar can be so high maintenance."

"Stellar stays. You want to be a writer and all of your favorites have degrees."

"Some of them." I corrected.

"You will." His face was serious as he winked at me.

Helping my dad clean the kitchen was probably the best thing I'd done in awhile. I didn't have to use magic, I got to spend time with my favorite man in the world, and he even hugged me to tell me it was okay about Grams. I knew they'd never really seen eye to eye with me or my mother, but he'd always respected Grams and loved her for me.

After homework and random Friday night television, I went upstairs to bed. The shower I took was the first one I'd actually noticed in a long time. Usually, I'd be such a zombie that I wouldn't realize I'd taken a shower until I was blow drying my wet hair. By the time I got out of the shower, I felt like a new girl. I looked at myself for what felt like the first time in ages. My honey toned skin was clear and even and smooth. The sun was giving me my caramel glow, but it wouldn't really hit until true summer. My eyes looked even brighter, almost hazel under the lights, contrasting with the stark dark of my hair. I'd always hated my Widow's Peak, but right now it fit me perfectly. In the mirror, I could almost see the girl I used to be.

Until I touched the faucet.

Water, I could hear water. It rushed over rocks as the current beat faster down the side of a cliff. I turned around and I wasn't in my bathroom anymore. The towel was gone, replaced by bloody clothes that didn't belong to me, and I was taller, heavier. Pain, so much pain coursed through my body. My ribs were broken and my left arm had been snapped. I could taste blood on my lips and feel an itching on my forehead. I touched a tree as I stumbled through the woods. I had to find them, I had to. She would die if I didn't.

I heard her scream.

Faster than I could've ever thought, I was suddenly moving through the forest at break neck speed. Suddenly my broken arm didn't matter, my wounds were nothing. I knocked over tree after tree cutting my way through this damn forsaken forest, before finally stumbling over something and landing in a clearing.

Rebekah's voice was in my ear. "Hello, Damon. Suave entrance as usual?"

_Damon_?

Rebekah grabbed me by my broken arm and ripped my shoulder out of the socket. I fought the scream that rumbled in my chest and was glad it came out a growl.

"Now, now, love, let it all out." She sank her nail into the side of my neck. The pain was sharp, but I wouldn't give her the satisfaction. I had something else in mind for her.

"The bitchy Original," I coughed. "Kol and Klaus kick you out of the tree house?"

She twisted what little arm I had left. "On the contrary, Damon, I was sent to fetch you."

I nodded. "Figures you'd be good at fetch, bitch."

Rebekah turned me around to face her, knocked me twenty feet from where I'd been kneeling, and caught me before I hit the ground.

"That's the second time you've used that word. All out of snappy comebacks?"

"Funny, I thought the same thing about your pu-"

Everything went black.

When I came to, I was in the middle of the forest with Kol and Klaus standing on either side of the stone. I saw a girl lying on the ground, but I couldn't see her face. I knew the jacket anywhere, though. It was the same one I'd gotten Elena a couple years back.

I tried to scream Elena's name, but my mouth wouldn't work.

"Brought the guest of honor, sister?" Kol asked.

She stepped over me. "He almost didn't make it. That mouth of his is atrocious."

Klaus came to me then and picked me up by my shirt. "There, there Damon. No hard feelings."

I spat my blood in his face. "Fuck you!"

Klaus laughed, literally laughed as he licked my blood off his lips. "I can taste the love you had for her. The hope you still have despite the very perilous situation you're in. Do you know what I don't understand?"

I wasn't looking at him. I was too consumed by the dark hair and the Levi's jacket._ Get up, baby. Get up._

Klaus grabbed my hair and yanked it back, bringing his lips to my ear. "How did you think you could keep her forever?"

Rebekah's hands, with perfectly sharpened nails, came down fast onto Elena's throat.

And I was back in the bathroom.

Tears sprang from my eyes as I caught my reflection in the mirror. Bonnie Bennett was looking back at me and looked scared as hell. The blood had completely left my face and my knees were shaking so bad, I sat on the edge of the tub before I fell. None of my visions, none of them, were ever wrong. It was why I'd shut them off so much, it was why I shielded so hard against the forces floating around in the Mystic falls air. From the time I saw the parking spot where Damon killed the coach, to the time I knew everything about the Gilbert kitchen, nothing had ever been wrong about my visions. Nothing.

I was dressed and out of the door in fifteen minutes.

I slammed to a halt just outside of the Salvatore boarding house. I didn't know what I looked like and I didn't care. I'd grabbed the first pair of jeans and tank top I saw, yelling some excuse about going to see Elena to my dad and promising to be back before midnight. I scrambled out of the car and up to the door as quickly as I could. Right when I was about to spell it open, Stefan opened it first.

I cut him off before he could speak. "Is Elena here?"

"No," he looked me over. "Bonnie what's wrong?"

"Where's Damon?" I asked as I stepped inside.

It was like I'd conjured him from down the stairs. "Being stunningly attractive and-"

"Shut up," I said. "Living room."

The both of them looked at each other, but followed me anyway and stood by the couch. I took my usual seat by the window and tried to figure out the easiest way to explain what I'd seen.

"Klaus is going to kill Elena." I said.

Easy enough.

Stefan was in front of me so fast, he brought a breeze with him. "What do you mean?"

"I had a vision and-"

Damon cut me off. "I'll stop you right there. It's a vision, witches have them all the time. Sometimes they happen, sometimes they don't."

I glared at him. "Mine are never wrong."

"Says every witch." He fired back.

"Damon, shut up!" Stefan shouted. "Tell us what you saw."

And so I did.

By the time I was done, they wore the same mask of horror. Stefan backed away from me like I'd killed Elena myself and Damon looked frozen. The both of them immediately started firing off questions at me. Questions that, if I hadn't witnessed the pending murder of my best friend, probably wouldn't have irritated me so much.

"When was she taken?" Stefan asked.

I shook my head. "That wasn't in the vision."

"The woods she was in, were they in Mystic Falls?" Damon asked.

"I think so, but it wasn't like I could see where I was. I saw trees, I heard water. That-"

"Could be any fucking where." Damon finished in a harsh tone.

Stefan came in with a more soothing tone. "Bonnie we need everything about that vision. What was Damon wearing?"

"Black." It was all he wore.

"What the hell kind of question was that, Stefan? I don't have day themed underwear and week coordinated outfits." Damon said.

I'd thought the same thing in my head, but I kept it to myself.

Stefan shook his head. "There has to be something."

Damon beat him to it. "There isn't. She needs to go back."

Stefan and I looked at him. "What?"

"If theres anything I've learned about witches, it's that it's all possible. All of it. Close your eyes, concentrate, and go back to the vision." He finished.

"It doesn't work like that." I said.

"Make it work like that." He insisted. "If you can paint with all the colors of the wind like you did earlier, you can go back to that vision."

I seethed. "I told you. It. Does. Not. Work. Like. That."

Damon was in my face with his hand around my throat. "And I told you to make it fucking work."

He was on the floor faster than he was in the woods, and blood came in thin read stream from his nose.

"If you ever touch me again," I started.

"Please." It was Stefan's voice.

I looked at him. "Stefan…"

"I know, I know, you say it won't work. But Bonnie we have to try." He pleaded. This isn't something we can ignore. This isn't something that's going to work itself out. You said your visions always come true. You said it. I need you to at least prepare us for that. The weather, the smells, anything Bonnie. Anything."

I nodded. "Just…keep him quiet please."

Stefan looked ready to snap Damon's neck just to be certain. "He will be."

I sat back in the chair and closed my eyes. Being a room with two beings who didn't need to breath made things a hell of a lot easier. I focused on the pain I felt through Damon, and pulled it to the front of my head. One of the things Grams always told me was that in every vision, there's one sense that sticks out more than the others. I didn't bother with sight or touch, both of them were so overwhelmed. I focused on smell, Damon's sense of smell.

The sun was everywhere. Not literally, but the smell of the heat still sat in the air. It was humid and sticky, almost leaving a taste on my tongue and thick enough to cut with a knife. Damon's body sliced through the woods and the air, moisture from it caressed his face. Rain was coming, it wasn't here yet, but it was coming pretty soon…

"Summer. This summer." I said.

"It's March now." Stefan said.

"Yeah, but it gets hot around the end of April." Damon pointed out. "We'd be on alert in May and the second we let our guards down in June, she's dead."

I shook my head. "That was July heat." I knew that because that was probably the only month Mystic Falls, if that was even where it happened, got hot like that. So hot I got darker as I helped Caroline with Candy Apples at the fair. So hot Elena wore all of her hair in a pony tail and we all broke out our cut off shorts.

"You're sure." Stefan nodded.

"Yes. Mystic Falls is a power base." I said. "All of Klaus's roads lead back here. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't take Elena away just to kill her. Nobody here can really stop him. Why would he?"

"We've stopped him before." Damon said.

"Okay, yes, we have stopped him." I said. "Have we killed him? No. Nobody here can."

"You can." Stefan said.

"I'm not that powerful." I said.

"Bullshit, you're plenty powerful." Damon folded his arms. "And whatever you can't do, we have four months to figure it out."

They both looked at me.

It was this that I hated. The moments like this. How a couple of hours ago, my day was so normal, the only thing I had to complain about was what I didn't want to do. Now, not only did I have to do something huge, I had a time limit on it. Taking out an Original was almost as possible as climbing to the moon. But I could see the looks in both of their eyes. This was the girl they loved. Both of their end games. More importantly, she was my best friend.

I exhaled. "We'll figure it out then."

"Elena doesn't know." Stefan said.

"Agreed." Damon nodded.

I looked at the both of them, and nodded.

"Agreed."

**A/N: Soooo what did you guys think? I have to say I came home and attacked this chapter after having a VERY emotionally taxing day, and I figured that if I couldn't have a good day with my father…Bonnie was going to have one with hers. Also, we're getting a little plotty in here. Yes, yes, you guys I have finally (sort of) figured out what I want this story to do. It's still going to be VERY MUCH a Bonnie and Damon story, but it…well you'll see. I'm trying to take it as slow as possible, but I'm kind of a…well, I like my good parts if you can tell. I tried to stretch this chapter with Bonnie's inner turmoil, but honestly, my girl just isn't that much of a whiner. She isn't. We'll get back to it, definitely in the next chapter, but having set this up, it opened so many more doors and avenues I can take towards making Bonnie a more realized person, girl, and witch. Plus, and the main reason why we're all here, to see her fall for Damon. Please, please, please review. I love it when you do. You keep it honest and you ask questions and I love it. SPEAKING OF QUESTIONS!**

**Yes. This is my first fanfic. I mean, I wrote one for Heroes under a diff screen name one time, but yeeesh we don't speak of that. It has since been deleted. **

**What episode does this take place between/in/around? See, here's the thing. I don't feel like that's fair. All of us are fans of the show of course and since the episodes are so…amazing, I couldn't handle writing during episode…12 or something. These episodes literally give us everything and I'd feel so conflicted between doing what I wanted and remaining faithful to that episode. Do you guys get it? I hope so. I just want you guys to like it and keep rocking with me the way you have. I'm working on chapter 4 as soon as this is posted, so it should be up definitely sometime within the next couple of days. Let me know what you think!**


	4. Curse

**A/N: So here we are again, back with Bonnie and how she feels. Now that we have something for her to look forward to in addition to her innermost thoughts, I feel it can get interesting. To answer the question one of my reviewers asked: yes, the girl on the ground in Bonnie's vision IS in fact Elena. I obscured the face for a reason, but that wasn't it. All will be revealed in time. Trust me. Major shout out to the reviews I've gotten. You guys keep me on. Also, if you haven't noticed, I'm naming my chapters after key words in them. I usually write my chapter first and then go back and name it. I feel like it's more authentic that way. **

**Here we go**.

Chapter Four: Curse

Two days had gone by since that night in the Salvatore house, and while I want to say I'd been effective in avoiding everyone, I hadn't. As a matter of fact, after the three of us agreed that Elena wouldn't know anything, we also agreed no one else would.

"Caroline can't hold water." I'd said.

"She can't hold anything." Damon pointed out.

Stefan ignored him. "Jeremy's too eager."

"Matt's human." I continued.

"Tyler's a hybrid." Stefan continued.

We all nodded. "No one can know." I said.

"Which means you need to get back in the game, Sabrina." said Damon.

I looked at him. "What?"

"You've been in your own little world for months now. We need you with us." He continued. "Elena may be a lot of things, but stupid isn't one of them."

What did it say about my friends that the man I hated figured things out quicker than they did? I didn't want to know.

"See," Damon started again. "That. You can't pull that staring into space shit. Just because you got a summer vision, doesn't mean things are stopping. Elena's with you and Caroline most of the time. Only one of you is really effective. We need you to get it together."

Stefan took a different approach. "Damon, calm down. Bonnie, what's going on?"

You. Your brother. This entire clusterfuck my life is turning into.

"I'm fine. Don't worry about me." I said.

"We aren't." Damon said.

My magic called to me then. It wanted to set Damon's limbs on fire.

"Bonnie are you sure you can do this?" Stefan blocked his brother from my view. "Damon and I can figure it out by ourselves if you need us to."

Figure it out? No. Just no. "Look, I can do it. Alright?"

Stefan nodded. Damon sighed.

I snapped back to sitting outside of the Gilbert house Sunday afternoon. I'd called Elena an hour ago to tell her that we needed to talk and she'd told me to come over. I'd done my hair they way I used to, curled and with the headband she'd given me a year or two ago, and I put on a cheerful outfit to show my new brightened mood. I hated to admit it, but after thinking about it for two days, Damon was right.

And I really hated to admit it.

Jeremy opened the door, just as I was coming up the steps. He smiled when he saw me.

"You look great, today." He said as he hugged me.

"As opposed to the monster I am every other day?" I smiled and hugged him back.

He blushed. "I didn't mean…"

"I'm kidding, Jer." I teased him. "Elena in her room?"

He nodded. "Yeah, but you might want to swing by and see Ric first."

"Did he find anything?" We switched places on the porch. I wondered where he was going.

"It sounded like he did. I'll let him explain it to you, I've gotta go."

"See you." I waved as he continued down the steps.

The Gilbert home was one of those places that reminded you of a catalog. The inside was spacious but not imposing, and it was a pleasant blend of old and modern with its updated furniture and wooden compliments. I walked past the stairs that would've led me to Elena's room and headed into the kitchen where I knew Alaric was. He had papers and books open on the counter, and he was scribbling away on a notepad with blue and black pens.

I sat on the stool opposite him. "What's going on?"

"Tatia."

"Elena's ancestor?" I asked.

"Yep. That's the one." He was still scribbling.

"Okay, what about her?" I pressed.

"Humans aren't just born doppelgangers, Bonnie. No one is. What's to stop you from being one, or me, or anyone?"

"Magic." I said.

"Right. But what exactly is the doppelganger's purpose? Why was the Petrova doppelganger line started?"

I knew the answer. "Doppelgangers are usually the consequences of a broken violation of nature."

He nodded. "Keep going."

"It's like…a bad reward on a credit card. Instead of you getting points for purchasing an item, you're constantly having points taken away as long as you have it. It doesn't negate the purchase you made, but it's something against you."

"I like that. Dig deeper."

I did. "The bigger the violation, the bigger the consequence. For immortality, which goes against every law of nature, you get a doppelganger. Something that dies even though you can't."

"But the doppelganger can always reproduce because it's living. Children are nature's way of being immortal."

"Right," I continued. "As long as the bloodline can continue, the doppelganger will keep being reborn until the immortal is dead."

"Tatia was the first one sacrificed." Alarc said. "Katherine was supposed be next, but she beat Klaus to it."

"Which is why he needs Elena." I said.

"The reason Klaus wanted Katherine and needs Elena is because their blood could do anything he wanted. Anything. It's like the Petrova bloodline is the glue that keeps all of the Mikaelson plans together. It was Petrova blood that turned them into vampires in the first place."

"And it's Petrova blood that can break that spell."

It was like a light bulb went off in my head.

"What did you say?" Alaric finally looked up at me.

"Think about it."I told him. "If we could find the spell that the witch used in order to bind the Petrova bloodline to the Originals, we could undo it."

He shook his head. "Magic that powerful already gave us two consequences."

"But we wouldn't be violating anything, we'd be righting it. Restoring and keeping the balance of nature is what witches do. The only reason the Petrova bloodline works for Mikaelson plans is because it's like a stain on their aura. It's the one thing that can do everything they wanted because it's the one thing that can undo them."

"But why would he want Elena dead? Wouldn't he keep her alive so she could continue the line of Petrovas?" Alaric asked.

"I don't know about that one. Doppelgangers are born every five hundred years. I would say the Petrova doppelganger only takes that long for the Originals because of the five vampires created. Klaus wouldn't wait that long to further his plans. Elena's here now and Katherine's a vampire. Once he gets what he needs from Elena, he's ending the thing that can undo him."

Alaric stopped me. "She made six vampires. We're short a hundred years."

I shook my head. "One was her husband. The other five were her children. The Petrova bloodline has to be born because the Mikaelson bloodline is dead. It's the balance thing."

"So what spell would we being undoing? We can't exactly make them mortals, there's no spell on that."

I thought about it. Really thought about it. Even though there was a spell for vampirism, there wasn't a spell to make someone human. Once something like that has been done, there was no reverse switch. Nature would only be violated so much by the same soul and the magic that it wielded. I'd learned that the hard way.

"Maybe we wouldn't need a spell to make them mortals." I offered. "Maybe, if we take the spell off of Elena's blood, that'll happen as a result. If there's no more binding magic for her bloodline and their immortality, then everything under that spell goes away."

"Kind of like a 'Fruit of the Poisonous Tree Doctorine' type deal." Alaric looked thrilled.

"A what?" I asked.

"Criminal Justice. Take it when you get to college." He said.

"Got it." I said.

He hugged me. "Bonnie you're amazing!"

I felt a little awkward, but I returned the hug. "Thanks, I do what I can."

Alaric went thoughtful again. "I'll need to find all of the old spell books I can."

"You might want to start in Europe." I pointed out.

"Eastern if I'm assuming correctly." He agreed.

The both of us heard Elena's door open, and heard her heading down the stairs. A look passed between us, a look quite similar to the one I shared with the Salvatore brothers two days ago.

Elena wouldn't know about this either.

She entered the kitchen right as I thought it. Her long dark hair swept her waist as she walked and her huge dark eyes assessed us both. She looked at me.

"Did Ric tell you what he found?" she asked.

"About Tatia? Yeah, she was the start of everything."

Elena nodded. "The first. It's weird to think that someone who looks exactly like me was walking around that long ago."

I could agree. I didn't know how I would feel if I somehow came across a book with two different versions of myself in it. Elena had told me and Caroline how she, after amazing sex with Stefan, had come across Katherine's picture. I didn't know if I'd have been able to handle it as well as she had.

Alaric grabbed all of his stuff off the counters. "I've got some calls to make."

Elena looked puzzled. "Did you find anything?"

Alaric shook his head. "Nothing new. I figure if we can find out how Tatia got mixed up with the Originals, there might be some clues there I can find."

With one last, and very brief, look at me, Alaric left me and Elena in the kitchen. After all of the information I'd been getting and hiding, being alone with my best friend didn't seem so nerve wracking anymore. As a matter of fact, I found myself wanting to be around her even more because of it.

She slid onto the counter and crossed her legs. "So what's been going on with you lately?"

I made a face. "You don't waste time. Do you?"

"Not a lot of it to waste these days." She smiled. "So tell me what's going on. No bullshit."

I took a deep breath. "Well, I spent time with my dad."

She nodded. "He was actually home that day. I jumped when he answered the door."

"I jumped when I saw him in the kitchen." I chuckled.

"And he cooked? Okay, what's really going on?"

"Nothing really, it's just that with Grams…" I started, but she cut me off.

"If you lie about her birthday again, I'll slap you."

"How did you know?" I asked.

She made a face. "Really Bonnie? Since I've known you, there's only been one time every year I couldn't reach you."

"Grams birthday." We said together.

"And since that's already passed, you can skip whatever you were going to say about it." She smiled brightly.

It was my turn to make a face. "Why didn't you call me on it in the hall?"

"Obviously if you were going to tell that kind of lie, you didn't want to talk about what was really bothering you. I let it go. And I actually would've believed you if I hadn't done the same thing to Stefan a couple of weeks back."

I went to sit on the counter beside her. "You did?"

She looked away from me and out of the window. "I was having one of those days where I just didn't…I couldn't take being cheerful and upbeat. It started from the second I woke up to the minute I left the house and the hours at school where I wanted to scream."

"I don't remember that." I told her honestly. Suddenly I felt like a bad friend for missing it.

"You wouldn't." She smiled. "Just because I didn't want to be the Elena everyone knew didn't mean that I wasn't. I cried before I left the house. I cried on the way to school. And by the time I got to Stefan, my smile was plastered, but he could smell the tears on my face."

"Why were you crying at all?" I asked.

She took a deep breath and sighed. "I just woke up one day and was tired. Really, really, tired. I didn't want to be the doppelganger or a Petrova or even Isobel's daughter. I lay there and realized that all of my life had somehow been connected to a vampire, that none of it had ever truly been mine."

I shook my head. "You were happy before the Salvatores got here."

"I was bored when the Salvatores got here." She confessed.

"You had Matt." I told her.

"Yeah, and you were the one who told me I couldn't keep stringing him along if I didn't love him."

I did say that. Several times, actually.

"Anyway, before I met Stefan-no. Before my parents died, I didn't really have much going on. Sure I was a cheerleader and popular, but one time my dad heard me being a bitch to Jeremy, and he asked me something. 'What good were the things I wanted, if they made me act the way I was?' It was like, when he asked me that, I got it. Cheerleading isolated me from people I would've liked to know if it weren't for status. Being pretty is fun until you realize people hate you for it. I couldn't relate to my best friends, I wasn't in love with my boyfriend, and I was bored. I asked for change, begged for it, and I got it."

"My parents were dead two months later, and then Stefan popped up. The more time I spent with him, the more I actually started to find out about the events that surrounded my life. A vampire saved me from a sinking car. The same vampire and his brother had a thing for a girl who looked just like me. There was a girl who looked just like me. Said girl is probably the biggest bitch I've ever met. Not to mention that the lover she killed herself to save herself from now wants my blood because I'm her do over. I just woke up one day and was tired, Bonnie."

"When Stefan asked me why I'd been crying, I told him it was my mother's birthday. I could see how genuinely concerned about me he was, but more than anything, I saw that he'd let the issue go. I got to be comforted and I got to keep my problems to myself. It was all I wanted."

Suddenly I felt like a bitch for all of my complaints about my life. While Elena may have been in constant danger, I realized that it wasn't her fault. Sure, a lot of the things that she did resulted in catastrophe, but given the things happening around her life, it was bound to happen anyway. The Salvatores may have indirectly been the reason why Klaus found Elena, but they weren't the reason why he wanted her. The Salvatores may have brought and caused more trouble to Mystic Falls than we would've normally had, but they weren't the reason why Elena was a doppelganger. All of these things had happened to Elena well before junior year. If it hadn't been her, it'd have been her descendent five hundred years down the line.

The girl had a curse on her blood, and she took it in stride.

"Does Caroline know you felt like this?" I asked.

Elena shrugged. "Maybe? I don't know. Caroline Forbes is perceptive when she wants to be. She's getting better at it, but it's still fact. That, and she kind of has to deal with her mom knowing she's a vampire. I don't know what I'd have told my mom or even Jenna for that matter that I was a vampire. I give Caroline a break on depth sometimes and find normalcy in her school spirit."

The both of us laughed a little at that.

"So what's going on with you? For real?" Elena looked at me.

I didn't want to say anything. It just didn't feel right. "Just grieving over grams and dealing with magic problems."

Elena nodded. "You wake up floating in the middle of the night?"

I rolled my eyes. "I wish."

"Yeah, witch problems."

I decided to talk about boys. "How are you and Stefan?"

She shrugged. "The same. I love him. He loves me. When I can get him to stop blaming himself for things that happen, he's happier. I was supposed to spend the night over there yesterday, but he said he and Damon were taking some kind of trip and wouldn't be back until tonight. Whatever that means."

I got angry. "They left you here unprotected?"

Elena rolled her eyes. "You sound like him. I'm fine Bonnie, I know how to take care of myself. I told him that if he needed to go, then he could go, but I would be perfectly fine until he got back."

"So you stayed in with Alaric and Jeremy all day?"

"Yup. Nobody came in, no one left out."

Awesome.

"Besides, I never really feel too safe outside anyway. I still go because, you know, life and all, but I don't know who's compelled or who's just a dick working for the other side."

"It sucks when you can't spy a good vampire flunkie anymore."

"It sucks hard." Elena nodded.

We looked at each other and burst into laughter.

Elena's phone went off. Stefan was calling her.

"Hey." She answered in that voice that was only for him.

I couldn't hear what he was saying, but I watched her smile and bite her lip. A few seconds later my phone vibrated in my bra and I turned my back to her to check it. The first text was from two hours ago, it was Matt asking me to come by the Grill because he was bored. Oops. The second one, the one I'd felt, was from Damon. He and Stefan had taken a day trip Georgia to follow a lead on what Klaus might have been planning, but they came up short and turned around early. He also told me to make sure I kept my mouth closed around Elena.

I didn't respond.

Elena got off the phone with Stefan, and looked back at me. "You look great, by the way."

"I'm starting to believe I usually look bad." I said, remembering Jeremy's earlier comment.

"No, you've always looked fine. You just look more…here." she said.

I didn't want to tell her that I had to be here or risk her finding out about her death. I felt bad that my friend had come clean with me the way that she had and I still hadn't given her anything in return. I didn't like keeping secrets, I despised doing so, but I couldn't fight the logic. If Elena thought in any way that Damon was going to be hurt, she'd give herself up. Not because she liked him or even anything close, but she was tired of losing people. She was tired of watching people die. She'd said it before once, at one of our many meetings at the boarding house, only to be screamed at by every person in the room including me.

By the time I left Elena's house, I felt better. Was it completely gone? No. I still didn't like the fact that the Salvatore brothers had brought all of this with them, and I definitely didn't like that I had something else to worry about in addition to stopping a crazed vampire this summer. But I understood Elena more and, through her admission of her issues, I'd found some sort of stability with mine. Maybe when this was all done, I could find a way to really tell Elena what was going on with me. Maybe I could tell her that I wanted to leave for awhile, just so I could really explore the things I wanted to. I hadn't written any of the poems I used to, and I hadn't listened to much music either.

I hadn't felt like me in so long.

I got into my car and debated swinging by the Grill. Stefan and Damon were back, which oddly I felt better about, and that still left me with an entire Sunday left with nothing to do. There weren't any books that held the spell I'd need for what I had planned, but as I looked in the passenger seat at the book I'd deemed useless, I figured there were a few things I could try.

The floral boutique in Mystic Falls consisted heavily of one thing: Vervain. Sure there were roses and daisies, and all other types of flowers, but the officials here knew what kind of town we were in. What they didn't know, was that all the smart vampires were drinking Vervain at least twice a day. It was something else that kind of freaked me out, but I guess it made sense. If the flu vaccine can have the flu in it, I guess it's the same principal.

Laura, the boutiques owner, told me I could look anywhere I like. She and my grams had been pretty cool back when Grams was alive, and I remember she'd sent the prettiest wreath I'd ever seen to her funeral. I used to cry whenever I passed by here, but now I was going to be bold. I had months ahead of me to do what everyone wanted of me and whatever it took to keep my best friend alive. Today, just today, I would gather the materials for a spell _I _wanted to do.

I flipped open the pages of the book and picked the first spell I saw. It was a spell that, once thrown could emulate sunlight. I remember seeing this and thinking that maybe it'd be useful, but I'd never gotten around to it. Another potion, one that everything immobile except the witch who made it, required a lot of the same ingredients. As I flipped through the book and noticed some of the other potions and spells, I realized that I'd been wrong. This book was perfect, I really could level a city if I wanted to. How had I overlooked these?

Because I'd been trying to kill Klaus instead of stop him. And now that I had an idea on how to potentially do both of those at the same time, there was nothing else left to do but focus on my abilities. I walked through the aisles and headed towards the back. A lot of people thought the floral shop was just for flowers, but there was a lot of things one could get from here. Essence of this and seeds of that. They may have seemed completely useless to someone who didn't know any better, but to a witch like myself, it was amazing.

I found the ingredients I'd need for the three potions I wanted to try the most. The Sun potion, which required sunflower petals, crushed vervain, and other things I think I had at home. Grams had left me her trunk of witching supplies and a lot of the things that these spells required I already had. Plus, I don't think I can get a whole thing of snake venom from the floral shop.

I paid for the things I bought and headed home with a smile on my face. Were things completely perfect? No, but they were looking up. I realized that a lot of my frustration came from not knowing what to do next. Every time we beat Klaus or every time we escaped from something else, it came back ten times harder. I was tired of not having a plan and, more importantly, I was tired of never knowing when this was going to end. Sometimes I saw myself dying in the midst of a confrontation. Not because a vampire had killed me, but because I'd died protecting a place that would probably hate me if they knew what I was.

When I pulled into my Driveway, my dad's car wasn't in it, but another one was. It was jet black, shining, and the kind of car that look like it gave great car chases. Actually, speaking of car chases, it looked a lot like the car Kurt Russell drove in Death Proof. I'd never seen one in real life before, and I was curious to see who had the wrong house.

If only my life were that simple.

Damon got out of the car and leaned against it. I wasn't surprised that he matched it from head to toe, but I was pissed that he had the nerve to come to my house like this.

"Why are you here?" I asked.

He was looking at me. He was staring.

I thought about pushing my magic on him again, but I held back. The last thing I needed was for him or any other vampire to get used to the kind of pain I inflicted. If they could slowly sip vervain, they could slowly get used to pain, and I wasn't about to take that chance.

"You always dress like that on Sundays?" he asked.

Seriously? "I'm going to ask you-"

"Blah, blah, blah, you'll ask me one more time. Stefan and I came up with a plan."

"So did me and Alaric." I told him.

He raised his eyebrows. "Interesting. We'll get to that."

I narrowed my eyes. "Okay…what did you and Stefan come up with?"

"He's going to watch Elena. Constantly." Damon said.

"He already does that." I didn't see where this was going.

"Well he's going to do it more." Damon continued. "We only need to sleep every three days, five for me because of the diet difference, and we figure that's the best idea."

It sounded kind of excessive to me, but okay. "And what are you going to do?"

He smirked. "_We_ are going to find a way to take out Klaus. Between me and Stefan, I'm the one who has seen the most. I've seen witches, I've seen magic, and I've seen it all."

It still wasn't registering to me. "What?"

"Me and you are going to spending a lot more time together." He winked. "If you keep wearing outfits like that, I might even enjoy it."

**A/N: So I'll go on record and say that THIS is probably the beginning of the Bonnie and Damon chapters. It won't be fast, but it won't be agonizingly slow either. I hate that. Also, we got a little more into the plot that I'm crafting, but I'm setting the groundwork that we all know now so that when my actual plot comes in, all of it melds well together. Bonnie had a good day with Elena. I wanted that to happen. I don't think it happened too fast because they are best friends. While bonnie does have a slight grudge against Elena for the things that are happening, I think in this chapter she realizes that a lot of it happens to Elena and not because of her. From the outside looking in, it's a lot easier to hate Elena because of the choices that she makes. Also, this story isn't going to be one of those "Bonnie is so distraught over everything and Damon pulls her out of it" type of deals. Bonnie isn't distraught, she's angry. She's irritated. She's bored. Damon can't be anyone's hero because he himself needs the love he isn't getting for himself. I'm on summer vacation, which is why these chapters are coming like they are. I hope you don't think I'm going too fast. The vampire diaries has a lot of stuff going on, A LOT, and it's one of the things I love most about it. Also, I hate, hate, HATE, filler chapters. Hate them. Which means I'll probably end up writing one. I'm going to work on chapter 5 as soon as this is posted. I noticed some of my regular reviewers got kind of quiet on me in chapter three. I'm hoping I didn't lose you guys. Review, review, review!**


	5. Fight

**A/N: I'm really excited about this chapter. It's where the real Bonnie/Damon things start!Yesterday on twitter, I found out that LJ smith (The writer of The Vampire Diaries Books) actually wanted Bonnie and Damon to be together. You can't imagine my feels. AT ALL. Speaking of Damon, a lot of people asked about chapters being from his POV. All I can say is that, yes, I have some planned, but no, not anytime soon. After you read this chapter, I'll explain. I promise.**

Chapter Five: Fight

"No." The word came out so hard I felt it in my chest.

I was in my room, putting the ingredients I'd bought in the huge chest Grams had left me. Damon was standing in the big oak tree outside of my window with an amused look on his face. Stefan was going on and on about why this was a good idea. If he'd been in front of me, I'd have probably thrown my magic at him until he rethought this idiotic plan of his. Luckily for him, he was on the phone.

"No." I spat again.

"Bonnie, this is the only way this'll work. Elena needs to-"

"Elena needs," I cut him off. "For me to able to concentrate. I can't do that with him here. No Stefan."

Damon laughed. "Oh c'mon, Glinda. Invite me in. Me, you, and Poppa Bear can all get to know each other better."

I swung my left arm in a wide arc, hand splayed. Damon went flying from the tree and somewhere in my backyard.

"Bonnie, you have to look at the bigger picture here. Damon knows about magic. He's had experiences with witches male and female. If there's a chance you can get strong enough to do what we need to do, then he can help you do it."

"He can't help me do anything!" I shouted. "He's unstable, he's violent, and he can't control his temper."

"Says the witch who just flung me from a tree." Damon said as he climbed back to where he'd been standing.

I glared at him. He held his hands up.

"Bonnie look," said Stefan. "We don't know what Klaus has planned. We have a vision that includes Damon and the witch who had it. You two are the key to finding out what's going on, so it only makes sense for you to work together."

We could do that on nights and weekends. "I don't want him here."

"It's not like he's staying there, Bonnie. But you will have to invite him in at some point."

"No."

Stefan sighed. "Look. Just make it work somehow. I don't care how, but I need you two to work together. I still have to worry about Elena."

"Fine. Whatever." I was so mad, a wind was picking up.

"Thank you, Bonnie. You have no-"

I hung up.

Damon got as close to my window as he could before the lack of invitation stopped him. He was perched on the window sill and could technically still reach inside, which was unsettling. I usually liked my window, sometimes I'd stare out of it for hours. Now I had every reason to avoid it. I noticed him looking around.

"You know, I don't think I've ever seen the inside of your bedroom." He commented.

"There's a reason for that." I responded.

"Scared I'll rip daddy's throat out?" he smirked.

I stopped moving. "You have one more time to even hint at doing anything to my father and I'll kill you."

His smirk graduated to full on smile. "I like this new you. She's fun."

New me? "Nothing's changed. I've always wanted you dead."

"Yeah, but you're a lot more vocal about it."

I tuned him out. The last thing I needed was to let Damon get under my skin. In addition to the issues I already had, I didn't need an asshole vampire added to it. Besides, if I didn't start tuning him out, he'd be dead before the end of the night. I didn't really feel like having to explain to my father why the desiccated remains of a century year old vampire were hanging from my window.

A teddy bear hit me in the face.

The breeze of my magic swept through my room, warm and gusting. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I asked you a question. Twice."

"Obviously I didn't answer for a reason."

"Yeah," he said. "Too busy in your own head. Try living out here with the rest of us, Bon Bon. It ain't so bad."

I could kill him. I could kill him right now and burn him before my father got home. Stefan and Elena would be pissed, but they'd understand wouldn't they? I mean, it's not like Damon actually served a real purpose. Now that Caroline's a vampire, we'd still have two of them. I could still do my magic. Jeremy could still talk to ghosts and Matt was still…Matt. We could make it work couldn't we?

"Don't touch my things." I warned.

"Invite me in, and I won't." He replied.

"How does that even make sense? I don't want you touching my things, why would I invite you into a room full of them?"

He shrugged.

I turned away from him and sat on my bed. The wind my magic carried were still blowing through my room and rustling my notebooks on my nightstand. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I needed to calm down, I couldn't let this keep happening. I imagined gathering my power like inhaling and exhaling. With each breath I pulled in the magic, with every exhale I had control. My hair settled around my shoulders and I heard the papers stop rustling.

I opened my eyes.

Damon was breathing deeply, and it took me a second to realize why the rhythm was familiar. I was breathing the exact same way, even the rising of our chests were in tune. I didn't understand what was going on, and I wasn't going to give him the opportunity to question it either. I stood up and walked to my window.

"What the hell was-" he started.

"How long do you plan on staying outside of my window?" I asked him. "Someone will see you."

He shrugged. "All the crazy shit that goes on in Mystic Falls, a guy in a tree is the least of everyone's problems."

"You're not a guy. You're a vampire."

"Who else knows that?"

I remembered the dinner with my dad. "More people than you think."

He shrugged it off. "Suspicions. They see your picture in a museum once or twice and they think you live forever. I could show them a picture of Katherine, does that make Elena a vampire?"

"You're not proving a point. Elena's human. You're not." I said.

"My point is," he went on. "Is that you live in a town where everybody looks like someone they're related to. Why, I could just be my great great great uncle's first born nephew and gotten the name."

I shook my head. "Nobody here is that stupid."

He smirked. "I don't think you believe that."

It was probably the first thing anyone had said that actually hit home to me in awhile. While yeah, maybe I hadn't known from the beginning, I'd soon after pieced it together that the Salvatores were the cause of everything. Mainly Damon. It really wasn't rocket science if people would actually sit down and pay attention. What was happening before they got here? What was happening now?

Two plus two equals…

"And anyway," Damon continued. "Anybody who wants to know what I'm doing up here is more than welcome to ask. Depending on how they ask, however, they might be compelled, they might be something else."

I rolled my eyes. "Why do you have to kill people?"

Damon didn't bat an eye. "I'm a vampire, witch. It's in my nature."

"Stefan doesn't kill people."

He chuckled. "Did you miss The Ripper phase? Stefan's body count will always be higher than mine. Which is why he fights so hard to stay away from it."

"At least he tries." I said. "What the hell do you do?"

He moved so fast, I could barely keep up. I backed away as he squatted on my window sill and stared directly into my eyes. His pupils weren't moving, so I knew he wasn't trying to compel me. Not like he could anyway.

"I feed, Bonnie." He said in low drawl. "I take just enough to sate the thirst, give them enough pleasure to make them want me to do it again, and then I leave. I haven't drained anyone dry since the sixties."

"You drained people when you got here." I didn't look away from him.

"People bled out." His voice was back to normal. "Not my fault they can't heal like they used to."

"You're sick." I hissed at him.

Damon was laughing now. "You know what your problem is? You're just like Stefan. The fight the both of you put up against yourselves is the reason neither of you will ever be whole. He fights his nature so much that the tiniest drop of human blood sends him into a frenzy. You want to use your magic, but you never use it for yourself. You never do anything with it, you never make anything happen. You opened a tomb and cause pain. What does that do for you?"

"You would've killed me if I hadn't." I shot back at him.

"Bullshit." He shut me down. "If you were half the witch you were supposed to be, you could've killed me before I even thought about it. If you allowed yourself to use your magic more, instead of worrying about the consequences, you could be a force to be reckoned with. You and Stefan would rather lie to yourselves instead of accept who you are. That's what's sick here, witch. Not me."

I didn't know what to say. I didn't know if I even could say anything if I knew.

Damon looked bored. "You're not going to invite me in? Fine. We meet in the woods every day after you get out of class. You don't show up, I know where your father works."

And then he was gone.

I heard his door open and slam, then the sound of his wheels peeling out of my driveway. I backed away from the window and sat down when my legs touched the bed. I felt the hot sting of tears in my eyes and blinked it away as quickly as I could. I didn't know why I wanted to cry, but I did. I wouldn't, my pride wouldn't let me and especially not because of Damon Salvatore, but damn if I didn't want to.

I made a slight motion with my hand and my window closed. A twirl of my fingers and the curtains followed. I allowed the darkness of my room to wash over me as I lay back, and I stared at my fingers in the setting sun. With a flick of my wrist, I could do anything. With the will of my mind, I could make anything happen. I was scared to violate the laws of nature, just like Stefan was afraid to lose his humanity. I was afraid to truly let go of my magic for fear of pissing off the cosmic order and bringing pain on myself and those I loved. I didn't want Grams to be anymore disappointed in me than she already was. I didn't want to lose myself to the magic.

I didn't want to die for something I barely knew.

By the time true dark fell, I'd given in and cried. I hated the fact that what Damon said was right about me. I hated the fact that I was so afraid of what _could_ happen, that couldn't do what needed to be done. If I didn't get over this…fear of the unknown, then Elena and the rest of us were as good as dead. I had to be willing to find some type of inner peace with the decisions I was going to have to make, and I was going to have to find it fast. It would be easier if I knew where to look.

The one thing I decided I wouldn't do anymore was summon Grams. As much as it hurt my heart to make that kind of promise, I knew it was for the best. I was going to do things that would disappoint her. I was going to upset her. If she showed up during one of the openings my magic allowed, then I couldn't help that. But I couldn't actively seek her advice, knowing the intentions that I had. It was time for me to be strong, time for me to take control of who I was, and it was time for me to make the changes I needed to make for myself. I'd bound myself to the spirits because that's where I believed my magic came from. I couldn't afford to think like that anymore.

My alarm clock went off and jolted me awake. Today was Monday, and while I should've been worried about the chemistry test I had, I was more concerned with what would happen after school. Damon would be waiting for me, presumably in the same spot as last time. I didn't worry about the threat he made towards my father. The most Damon would do was probably compel him into something.

It was sad when compulsion was the lesser of two evils.

I went through my morning ritual, styled my hair into dark soft waves, and packed my bag full of ingredients and a spell book. I left two of my notebooks, the English one I didn't need and the history one, to make space for more stuff. On my way out of the door, I caught my reflection in the mirror. The look in my eyes matched how I felt. I wasn't sure what today would hold, but I would face it head on.

I caught up with Matt again before class started. I hugged him.

"I'm sorry about yesterday." I told him.

"It's no problem. I'm actually glad you didn't show up." He said with a smile.

"I need you to clean that up before my feelings get hurt."

He pulled his Spanish book out his locker. "No I meant that right after I sent that text, some college girls came into the bar."

I remembered Damon saying something about a sorority girl. "Is something going on? Why are they all coming here?"

"Spring break, Bon." He said with a wistful tone. "Only us lame high schoolers still take it the first week in April."

That made more sense. "You could always talk one of them into taking you with."

"And I would have, if my manager hadn't come in and messed up everything." He said.

I looked at him carefully. "You would've gone wouldn't you?"

He nodded. "In a heartbeat."

"Ditch a whole week of school?" I asked. "Why?"

"Why not?" he shrugged. "Nothing's here for me anymore. Vikki's gone. Mom's gone. Getting away would do me some good."

I shook my head. "If you need to get away, you and I can take a trip, but you aren't leaving Mystic Falls like that."

He sighed and closed his locker. "Sometimes, I want to."

So did I.

Matt said he had to go meet the members of his Spanish group before class, so he hugged me and jogged down the hallway. I watched him as he ran and felt the tiniest twinge of guilt in my chest. A lot of the times, matt was left out of the loop unless someone needed to feed. It was for that reason that he preferred to be left out the group, unless Elena really needed him. I hated the way everyone had gotten so cliqued with vampires that none of us took the time to share our problems anymore. I hated that he had obviously been feeling like this for awhile and I was just now hearing about it.

I couldn't remember the last time I didn't feel bad about anything. Actually no, I could. There was this one time back in sophomore year when Matt got some of Vikki's weed for us to try. All of us, Matt, Elena, Caroline, and I were seasoned drinkers since eighth grade, but none of us had ever actually done a serious substance. Matt told us that when we smoked, we actually had to hold it in for a bit and then exhale slow. If we didn't, we'd barely fell anything. Before we knew it, we were laughing at how blonde Caroline's hair was and had completely devoured all of the rainbow cookies Mrs. Gilbert baked for the bake sale. It was the only time I really felt completely weightless.

I doubted anyone was still pushing weed in Mystic falls, though.

Class started just as Stefan and Elena entered the room. They sat in their usual seats, Elena in front of me and beside Caroline and Stefan behind Elena and next to me. Elena gave me a wave before our teacher started and Stefan gave me nod. I saw the look in his eye before he turned around. He thanked me.

I'd yet to decide how I felt about that.

Of course the one day I wanted the day to drag on, it didn't. Teachers flew through lectures, lunch was a blur, and that test was a blip I knew I passed. Chemistry wasn't exactly a hard thing for me anymore, now that I was a witch. Once you learned how to eyeball werewolf's venom and that in relation to vampire blood it could burn through a floor, everything else seemed pretty easy. The one thing that wasn't easy was getting away from my friends.

"Come to the Grill with us." Caroline said as she and Elena stood at my locker.

I played my part. "I'd love to guys, really, but I have to cook dinner for my dad."

"He's home now?" Caroline asked with a twisted face.

"Tact, Forbes, tact." Elena said. "You're sure you can't hang for a little? We miss you and for some reason cute boys are at the Grill."

"You have Stefan, you don't need cute boys." Caroline said.

"No, but I need my best friends to make the comments I can't. Come on, Bonnie, twenty minutes?"

I didn't want to mess up the ground me and Elena had gained. Twenty minutes wouldn't hurt. I'd need to text Damon.

I pulled out my phone. "I'll follow you guys, just let me text my dad first."

Elena smiled. "There's my girl."

Caroline smiled too. "I know, and she's dressing better too."

"I'm ignoring that." I said as I pulled out my phone.

_Going to the Grill with Elena and Caroline._ I hit send.

_No. You're bringing your witchy ass down here._ Damon texted back.

I rolled my eyes. _You said I had to get back in the game. Well now I'm playing. I'll be there in 20 minutes._

Three seconds later, he replied. _20 minutes, witch. Don't keep me waiting. _

I closed my phone and put it back in my pocket. The three of us walked out to our cars and separated in the parking lot. As I drove behind them, I realized how long it'd been since I'd gone to the Grill. Sure I'd been there so much over the years that I probably owned stock, but it'd been awhile since I'd been there with no drama. Well…not a lot of drama.

Well…

I didn't think about it anymore as I pulled in the parking lot. Caroline and Elena waited until I got out of the car before they broke out their phones and demanded best friend photos. I smiled and made the faces I was supposed to. I laughed at the jokes and made a few of my own. I didn't flinch when the girls gushed about how all the college boys paled in comparison to Tyler and Stefan, especially when Caroline crotch watched and said Tyler was bigger.

They tried to get me to talk to a guy. He was cute in a rocker kind of way with loose wavy hair and vest that showed off his arms. Unfortunately, their twenty minutes was up and I had quality time with a vampire.

"Gotta get home." I said with a smile.

"You always run when we bring up your virginity!" Caroline scoffed.

"Yikes Caroline, you think the bar heard you over there?" I asked.

"I could say it louder if you want." She winked.

"I'll pass." I laughed. "You guys doing anything after this?"

"Stefan's." Elena said.

"Tyler's." Caroline sang.

Good. "Text me later then."

I was almost out of the door when Elena caught up with me. "You're okay right? I know yesterday we kind of talked about me, but you are okay?"

I smiled at her. "I'm good, Elena. I promise. But I won't be if my dad gets home to leftovers."

"I remember he hates them."

I nodded. "He never did believe things taste better the second time."

She hugged me. "Be safe?"

I hugged her back. "I promise."

Getting to the woods took less time than I thought. I walked through it at a quicker pace and had to remember my ponytail was the thing hitting my upper back. I didn't have to look long to find Damon, all that black amongst the green of the leaves, and he had an expectant look on his face.

"Took you long enough." He said.

I ignored it. "So what's here?"

"Here is the place I saw you really use your magic." Damon said. "Here's the place you feel the most comfortable."

"I feel the most comfortable in my room."

"Then invite me in."

"No."

"Well here we are." Damon said. "We need you strong. The only way you can get strong is to really push your magic. You can't hold out. You can't hold back. You need to go for it."

I agreed. However, "I can't do it all at one time. I'd kill myself."

"Which is why we're going to be here every day until you can." He said.

"Making me stronger isn't going to do anything if I don't know how to use it." I told him. It was one of the things I'd never admitted out loud to anyone. Every time I'd used magic, most of it had gone towards taking down a single vampire or a single spell. I poured everything I had into one thing and overexerted myself.

"Good point. We're going to teach you some offense." Damon looked me over.

"Offense?"

Damon nodded. "Yes. Offense. You can't just stand there and squint all the time. How you've gotten away with it this long is a miracle. You want to be strong? You want to take out Klaus? I need you to move. You're going to have to move."

I didn't like the sound of that.

"Now," he said. "Focus your magic."

I could do that. I closed my eyes and tried to drop my barriers. As hard as I tried, nothing happened. I could feel a tension starting in my shoulders and a pressure building in my temples. More over, I could feel a certain Salvatore's eyes on me, expectant and waiting.

"What's taking so long?" He asked.

I opened my eyes. "I can't do this with you hovering over me Damon."

He sneered. "You think Klaus is going to give you time to kick his ass? You think Rebekah's going to give you a pep talk? Maybe Kol will let you use him as an anchor. Grow up. You want to know the secret to true power? Here it is. True power means you can do what needs to be done regardless of the circumstances. Whether I'm here or not, you need to be able to call whatever corner you belong to and focus on it."

I blinked, surprised. "You know about the corners?"

"Everyone who's watched The Craft knows about the corners. If I had to guess, yours would be Earth."

Damon was getting a little too close to home for me.

"You need to focus your energies, witch." He said. "A witch without focus is like a car with no engine."

I inhaled deeply and exhaled. I did it several more times. I convinced the voice of reason in my head that it was okay to let my guard down in front of this vampire. He wouldn't kill me, he needed me. I planted my heels deeper in the ground and let the chant of clarity flow through my mind. My shoulders relaxed as my magic came forth and spread out around me. I could see Damon's aura even with my eyes closed. He was a shining thing, like a candle in the dark, dancing and bouncing, but not wavering. I knew when he raked his fingers through his hair. I felt when he let his hands fall to his sides.

I saw in my mind's eye when he sent his fist towards my head.

It was coming so fast, I barely had time to fall out of the way. I glared up at him, confused, but it didn't deter him at all. He jumped in the air and was bringing his fist down towards me, _again_. I rolled out of the way and watched as his fist planted itself deep in the earth. I tried to crawl to my feet, but I felt his hand shove me and I went flying forward. I landed hard on my arms and hadn't fully recovered when he grabbed me by my leg and yanked me backwards.

I screamed. "What the fuck are you doing? Stop!"

His fangs were extended and the veins from his eyes spread along his cheeks and forehead. Gone was the asshole vampire I'd been wary of before. Present was the creature who'd killed and preyed on innocent people for decades.

I sent my magic at him; even raising my arm to make sure it stuck and at first it worked. Damon clutched his head with both hands and let out a growl fierce enough to scare anything. He began to shake and convulse with the pain going through his body, and it almost seemed like it was over.

Until the impossible happened.

Damon took his hands down from his hands and smiled through his fangs. Blood had began to pour from both of his nostrils, but he didn't seem to care. He was back on his feet in seconds, body twitching with the magic I was sending towards him.

"One trick pony." He spat.

I narrowed my eyes and spread my fingers. _Stop him, stop him, stop him_.

His body jerked like he'd been shoulder bumped, and his knees buckled beneath him. But he still kept coming. No matter what I threw at him, no matter how much or how franticly I threw my magic at him, he didn't stop coming. In fact, it seemed the more magic I threw at him, the more powerful he got. He was walking with his full height now, and by the time he reached down and grabbed me, I was screaming.

"Fight back, Bonnie!" He yelled.

I stared into the eyes of the creature above me and fought my hardest to keep calm. It was all of my fears come to life and it was happening way before I was ready for it. His hand went around my neck, effectively ending my screaming.

"You want to get away from me?" he hissed my ear. "Fight back!"

I could feel his fang touch the edge of my neck as the last of my magic drained away. I could feel my defenses failing as the focus left and the fear set in. I tried to concentrate on something, anything other than the vampire with his breath against my neck.

"You smell like fear." He told me. "And weakness."

I don't know what it was about that word, but suddenly I was pissed all over again.

I brought my knee up into Damon's groin and rolled him off of me as best I could. His fangs disappeared as pain took over his features and his hands were shoved between his legs as he rolled on his side. I scooted myself backwards until I bumped into a tree, and tried to calm myself. Magic, where was my magic? My heart was pounding so loud in my ears, every vampire in Virginia could probably hear it. There was only one thing I could hear though, and I didn't know whether to be shocked or furious.

Damon was laughing.

When he rolled back over on his other side, he was laughing louder than I'd ever heard him. His black T-shirt had dirt and other bits of the woods sticking to it and he had dirt on the side of his face. I stayed frozen against the tree, unable to even speak.

"That," he started. "was good."

Good? What?

My shock turned to fury and I could feel the tears streaming from my eyes. My face was hot and stinging, matching the sensation in my eyes. He had scared me and he thought it was funny. He had rendered me helpless in the woods, and he thought it was a joke.

He opened his eyes and stared at the sky. "You did good, Bennett."

"Fuck you!" I growled.

Damon slowly got to his knees and brushed himself off. When he looked at me, he froze. "I wasn't going to hurt you."

I pushed myself off the ground and rose shakily to my feet. "Don't you ever come near me again."

Damon was on his feet so fast, it looked like he'd been standing for awhile. "You needed that, Bennett. You needed to know what it would be like. The only vampires you've ever come across were the ones who needed you. Klaus doesn't and neither do the other Originals."

"Stay. The fuck. Away from me." I hissed at him.

"You need to know how to protect yourself." He kept going. "You won't learn that if you expect me to stop, if you know what I'm going to do. You won't get any of that with them, and you won't get it from me either. You have to be strong, Bennett. You have to fight."

His words hit me like bricks, but I didn't care. This man had brought me into the middle of the woods and scared the living shit out of me. Did I think he was going to do anything? Now that everything was over? No. Damon may have been a lot of things but he wasn't…he wouldn't have done that. In fact, he'd barely touched me the whole time except for the throat grab, but I'd had worst done to me by a vampire. He brought me out here to teach me the first and most valuable lesson of my life.

I was my own weakness.

Even though I'd been scared, I should've held onto my magic like it was my last breath. What I'd done was essentially like dropping a loaded gun just because I'd been scared. He was right about the Originals, they would do much more than just scare me, and they would bask in my fear like it was glory. Damon had given me the opportunity to see firsthand what it would feel like, and I knew that if I was ever captured by Klaus or Kol, or hell, even Rebekah, it would be so much worse.

And yet, I didn't care.

Maybe it was the girl in me, maybe I'd seen too many Lifetime movies, or maybe I, for some reason, hadn't expected him to go that far, but I didn't care. Damon had gotten the best of me in these woods and he'd shamed and scared me. I thought I'd gotten over my fear of vampires a long time ago, but there were still a few who had a trick up their sleeve. The thing that scared me the most was that, even thought I'd been conscious of him the whole time, I didn't even recognize him Damon had turned into something else completely. He'd turned into what a true vampire was, one that didn't know me and didn't give a damn about me. Stefan and Caroline and Damon had desensitized me to the true nature of vampires. Magic wouldn't always work.

What would I do when my back was against the wall?

I stepped away from the tree and kept my eyes on Damon. His face was hard, his jaw clenched, but I could see in his eyes he knew he'd gone too far. It had been his intention to scare me, but it hadn't been his intention to render me completely helpless. He reached down and slipped his jacket back on, and I realized I couldn't remember him taking it off.

He took a deep breath. "Bonnie…"

I shook my head and backed away from him. I kept going until there was more and more space between us. When I felt safe, I put a wall up between us and ran back to my car as fast as I could. I struggled with my keys and dropped them twice before I got inside and locked the doors. The engine roared to life as I turned my key in the ignition, and I took a jerky start before I finally got myself together. The drive back was a silent one and I bit my lip hard to keep the sobs from coming out.

My magic was finally back, full force. It rained with my tears the wile way back home.

**A/N: So a lot of you are probably going to hate me for this, but it needed to happen. For one, I don't like inactivity. I like my witches to move, to fight, to defend. Much like Elena needed to learn to defend herself, Bonnie needs to learn the same thing. Is she super strong? No. Is she super fast? Not at all. But how many times have we seen an episode and thought "Maybe is she just kicked him or elbowed him or something!" I hope I'm not alone in that. My hope is that you don't hate Damon (or me) for what he did, but understand why he did it. He knows, like Bonnie knows, like we all know, that magic is a fickle thing. Sometimes it comes to play, other times it leaves you to learn your own lesson. Sometimes the spirits want to help, other times they forsake her when all she wants is to help her friends. I want Bonnie to be the type of witch that uses magic as a weapon and a guide. It can't be her end all be all answer to everything. To finish my earlier point about Damon's POV. Right now, it wouldn't make sense, and here's why. I have to operate under the assumption that Damon is still in love with Elena. For him to have his own POV, all it would be is his bitterness at his loneliness and his jealousy towards Stefan and his longing for Elena. Welcome to seasons 1-3 of the vampire diaries. You didn't come here for that, and I'm not going to be the one to give it to you. When I do a Damon POV, and I will, he will have a reason for one. Trust me. We still have to get our girl on track. Read, Review, maybe even flame if you're as pissed off as Bonnie. Either way, I'll respect it. Chapter 6 coming soon.**


	6. Power

**A/N: Hey Guys! So I got a little burnt out after chapter five, and I didn't exactly know how to jump back into everything. That last scene with Bonnie and Damon was really pivotal, especially this early, and if you write, you know those kinds of moments really define your characters and where the story is going. I'm back now, though, ready to crank out chapters and keep this thing moving. **

Let's do it.

Chapter Six: Power

Working a curse onto someone's blood requires a lot of magic. Blood spells are specifically powerful because it's the essence of someone's life force. Most witches usually use their own blood as an offering, showing that they accept full responsibilities for their cosmic actions, but there are many who don't. Sacrificing the life of someone else to gain magical ground was a violation on so many levels.

Doing it to create immortals just about shattered ever rule in the book.

I chewed my lip as I skimmed the pages of the grimoire. While there was nothing specific about the creation of an immortal, there were rules against everything around it. One could not bring something back from the dead. If one did succeed in doing so, it came with dire consequences. A witch could be stripped of her magic practicing something so dark and twisted. A witch could be so overwhelmed by magic to the point of death. A witch's soul would never know peace in the afterlife. It was enough to make me wonder why Esther even did it in the first place.

After I got to the end of the grimoire, I flopped backwards on my bad and stared at my ceiling. There was nothing in terms of an immortal and I realized the Originals may have been the reason for it. I contemplated the thought of doing something so dark. What would it feel like to call on those dark forces? What would it feel like to have that dark magic crawling through my veins and waiting to be wielded? How would the change affect me? Would I even still be recognizable to all of my friends?

Would I even still care?

From what it sounded like in all of the books I'd read, it was a lot similar to a vampire shutting off their humanity. When you actually let go and let the magic do what it wanted, it tapped into your baser instincts as a witch. You could bend reality the way you wanted to and cast spells beyond anyone's imagination. You could kill someone in the blink of an eye. You could make yourself immortal if you truly wanted to. That was the scariest thing in my opinion.

I remember when I first started coming into my magic; Grams drove to a house at the very border of Virginia. When I'd asked her why we were there, she told me that I'd see for myself and that the lessons I took from this would be my own. At first I thought she was being crazy because Grams had the tendency to give off the wall advice, but looking back on it I should've realized that all of her advice came full circle at some point. The house was one of those old numbers with the porch with chipped wood and peeling paint. There was the smell of strong incense and sage and the taste of salt on the air. Grams and I had to hold hands when we crossed over the circle of ash that surrounded the whole house. I opened my mouth to tell her I wanted to go back to the car, but she told me to only look and to never use my voice there.

The inside of the house was horror movie typical. Dark and dank with openings to dark rooms down a straight and narrow hall. The floors creaked as we walked and the silence was deafening. Grams had never held my hand so tight before, and I had never pressed myself so closely against someone. I could see the sweat on her brow as she, what I now realized, kept the magic of the house from snatching at our souls. She led me through a kitchen, a den, and a dining room before we actually made it to the living room. I remember the woman sitting in the chair. I remember how beautiful she was.

Long, dark, hair parted just down the middle hung to her waist. Her eyes were slanted and dark with long lashes framing them. Her lips were cherry colored and plump, the kind you say in lipstick commercials and magazine ads. Her skin was the same color of the caramel frappuchino I'd had on the way here. The dress she wore was white, and it accentuated all of her dangerous curves even while sitting down.

And yet, something was off.

_Do you see her, child? _Grams voice floated through my head.

I nodded. _She's beautiful._

Grams squeezed my hand. _She is. Do you feel what's going on?_

I felt something. It was like the closer we got to this woman, the denser the air in here became. The more I realized the density of the air, the harder it got to breath. The ends of my hair and shirt begin to move towards the woman, like a sucking sensation. Sucking. That's what I was feeling. It was like the air had pressure in it because it was all moving towards this woman. Everything in this room faced this woman. The pictures, the furniture, us. Everything in this room was drawn to her as if it couldn't help itself.

I took a step forward.

Grams dug her nail into my hand. It snapped me out of the trance I'd been in and I realized that I'd been moving towards the woman myself. What was worse was that the woman had gone from staring straight ahead to staring right at me. She was so still and so lifeless, but there was something going on with her. It wasn't the kind of still the way a normal person is. It was the kind of still that came with being afraid to move or, in light of recent events, being a vampire.

Grams nodded. _See her with your magic, Bonnie. See her for what she is._

I didn't want to see anything about this woman, but Grams had brought me here for a reason. I stilled myself and fought the creepiness I felt. I blinked as I let the magic from my core enter my mind and fill my vision. My aura pulled shifted and stretched, like waking from a long nap, and covered me protectively. It didn't like my surroundings and it definitely didn't like the woman in the room.

The woman who, now that I was looking at her, looked nothing like a woman at all.

Flesh melted from her bones and snapped back into place. Her beautiful hair fell from her scalp and the sewed itself back in. Her eyes hollowed out and reformed, rolling back on themselves over and over. Her lips had cracked and bled down her chin, only come back good as new seconds later. Her breasts sagged as veins crawled over them, a putrid smell filled the room.

She screamed.

Grams and I were moving backwards, and I didn't mean our feet. I could hear her voice in my head as we glided the exact same way we'd come in. The woman stayed in front of us the whole time, watching and waiting. By the time we'd crossed the threshold, she was beautiful again and staying that way. Grams' chants didn't stop until we were well outside of circle of ash and back inside of the car. The woman turned her back on us and the front door slammed so hard I could feel it in my bones. Grams backed away from the house and sped away as fast as she could.

"What was that?" I tried unsuccessfully to keep the hysterics out of my voice. "Why would you bring me here?"

Grams stared straight ahead. "You needed to see the consequences of magic, Bonnie. That wasn't something that could be explained."

"You could've tried!" I could still see the woman floating towards us.

Grams gave a wistful smile. "Magic is a lesson best learned through experience. I could've told you what happened to my sister, but you wouldn't have listened."

I was silent the whole way home.

I learned that my great aunt Danielle had dealt with the darker aspects of the supernatural. She'd been obsessed with staying young, even going so far as ingesting the essence of vampires to do so. She'd paid the price of her soul for beauty and youth and that's how she got it. Grams told me that even though she was lovely on the outside that underneath the spell, her body withered and died over and over from the magic. It was like being caught in a state between life and death.

"Why did she attack us?" I asked. "Why did she draw me to her?"

Grams finally looked at me. "She wanted your soul."

I dreamed of my aunt Danielle for a month and every night I woke up in tears. I begged my grams for something, anything, to take away my nightmares but she wouldn't. She told me that it was something that I needed to learn and take with me for the rest of my life. She said it was a lesson that would guide my judgments as far as using my magic. I was a servant of nature and protector of balance. I had some perks that came with that, but for the most part, that was who I was.

Magic wasn't a way to cheat life.

The other lesson I learned that day, and I'd learned many, was that magic was at its peak in the absence of humanity. The witch decides how and what the magic is used, but the magic itself is an unlimited thing. The magic may belong to you, it may be passed down from generation to generation in your family, but it had and would outlive you. I'd done spells on the spirits of women I'd never met. Old spells with old magic that had been around long before I had. The thing I needed was power, and there was a vast difference between the two. I had magic beyond my wildest dreams, but my power was something that waned. Grams had once told me that power was a lot like womanhood.

"When a woman finds herself, Bonnie, it's a beautiful thing. Nothing can stop her, nothing can hold her back. She is wise to most and open to all. A woman realized is a woman powerful. The same goes for magic. A witch who finds herself and learns her magic, is a witch empowered. No matter how much magic anyone has, the lack of self knowledge will always be powerful."

It explained why all of my magic was all over the place.

I didn't know what I wanted to do with my magic. I pulled at it and strained it and called it when I needed it, but I didn't have the power to control it. I used my magic when it was necessary, but I had no knowledge of who I was as a witch to use it effectively. What kind of witch did I want to be? How far would I go to help my friends? Esther went the distance for her family and ruined them. She'd turned to magic and ignored what she believed. As much as I truly wanted to help, I had to come to terms with who I was and what I was.

The next day at school had made almost a week since the situation in the forest. I hadn't reached out to Damon and, surprisingly, he hadn't tried anything. I checked my father for compulsion or injury when he came from work. I kept my window closed and curtained. There hadn't been any demanding text messages or anything like that. If I didn't know any better I would say he was avoiding me just as much as I was avoiding him. It felt strange to think about it that way.

I was on my way to the library for my free period when Stefan texted me. Since one of the sophomores had set a textbook on fire in class, the principal thought it'd be best if they had class in a room without Bunsen burners. I met him in the empty classroom and closed the door softly behind me. He stood by the window staring out at the track with a deep look in his eyes. The green sweater he wore was the one Elena bought when we'd gone shopping a couple months ago. He twirled his daylight ring and exhaled deeply. I hadn't seen him take a breath.

"How's it going with you and Damon?" he asked.

I didn't know how to answer that. "To be expected, I guess. Did he say something?"

"That's the thing," Stefan looked at me. "He hasn't said anything."

I shrugged and shifted my feet. "You guys aren't exactly known for spilling everything to each other."

Stefan nodded. "That's what's bothering me. If he'd found something by now, he'd either tell me what it was or tell me to stay out of it. He hasn't said anything."

"There hasn't been much to tell." I told him honestly. "The grimoires I've been looking over warn explicitly against the very thing Esther did. I'd probably go on record and say she's the reason why."

"I could see that, but Damon's never been this quiet. Even when we were human he was pretty private, but never so much that he didn't tell me something important."

I didn't have anything new. "Nothing to tell."

That earned me another nod. "We still have time. It's only the ninth."

"Yep."

Stefan gave me his whole attention. "How has the magic been coming?"

"I do what I can." I told him. "Too much at one time could kill me, so I try to take it slow."

"You're one of the most powerful witches I know." He said. "If anyone can get stronger, it's you."

I was still sketchy on the powerful part. "Thanks."

There was a silence that hung in between us that bordered on awkward. Not because I felt uncomfortable around him or anything like that, but there was clearly something he'd called me in here for. Or rather, there was clearly something he wanted to say, but he just didn't know how to. Usually, when it was like that, there was only one thing it could be.

"How are you and Elena?" I asked.

He smiled. "Am I that obvious?"

"Not really. I'm just not used to an awkward vampire. And since there's only one reason you'd be that way…"

He chuckled. "I see your point. We're good, it's just weird."

"How so?" Maybe if I got him talking about Elena he wouldn't ask more questions about Damon.

"I know I should stay away from her, but it's hard. It's like I wake up every day knowing that it's not going to work and I still find myself in her room all the time."

"You might be too hard on yourself." I tried.

"She says the same thing." He said. "I'm just worried that I'll mess up again. She wants us to be together and I want it too, but I don't know if I can."

"Well Elena's already forgiven you for everything. It's not like you fell off the wagon, Stefan, you were pushed. You did what you had to for the ones you loved. Was it ideal? No. But no one, least of all Elena, holds it against you."

"I just want to feel worthy of her." He confessed. "It's hard when she's so good and I'm not."

"I wouldn't say that. I mean, you're a vampire and most of the time you try to control it. If that isn't good, I don't know what is."

"Damon says me going off with Klaus happened because I was fought myself on everything."

He'd said the same to me. "I wouldn't have phrased it that way, but he's right in a sense."

Stefan looked shocked. "You're agreeing with him? I've been alive too long."

"I just mean that if you stopped focusing on the negatives about yourself, you might be a little happier. Elena can't be the only good thing about you, and it isn't fair that you put her on that pedestal."

"You sound like Caroline." He said.

"We're best friends. We all sound alike."

He sighed. "So what do I do?"

"I think you should forgive yourself. The faster you do that, the faster you can do what you need to as far as Elena's concerned. Feeling bad for yourself is only going to give our enemies another way inside of your head. If you believe in what you're doing and trust in yourself, you'd be surprised how fast everything else falls into place."

I wasn't lost on the application to my own situation.

Stefan smiled and it was genuine. While I should've taken comfort in the fact that I'd made someone in my circle feel better, it only alerted me to the truth in Damon's words. Standing in this room looking at Stefan with his love stricken eyes and raw insecurities, it was easy to forget that he could plunge his fist into my chest and rip out my heart. He wore a gifted sweater from his girlfriend, went to classes during the week, and felt like he wasn't enough. His older brother gave him hell, he liked to drink, and drove a fast car.

_The only vampires you've ever come across were the ones who needed you._

"Hey Stefan, I'm headed to the library. I'll catch you later okay?"

He stopped whatever he was saying. "Yeah, sure. Thanks for the talk."

I gave him a small smile and left the room. I had two options. I could go to the library like I said I was and continue my school day with the rest of my classmates. I could sit in my classes that I was already passing with the days I'd never missed and learn the chapters I'd already read too far in advance.

Or.

I could confront the thing I'd been trying to avoid for days now. I could walk right up to that nagging voice in the back of my mind and tell it to shut up. I could stop being afraid of what I thought I knew and finally confront what I didn't know.

I could go see Damon.

Mystic Falls high wasn't big on attendance. Since most of the faculty had kids in the school and all of the parents knew each other anyway, everyone pretty much kept track of everyone. If a kid left campus, either no one noticed or your parents got called. I'd figured out a long time ago that giving my cell phone number to the front office would benefit me in the long run, and today I'd find out just how much.

I decided to head towards the Salvatore boarding house. I didn't know what vampires did during the day, I especially didn't know what Damon did, but I was hoping I wasn't going to have to go all over Mystic Falls for him. I wanted him to be home while I still had the courage to face my fears. I wanted to look him in the eye and show this new found drive that I had. I was ready to be powerful. I was ready to see what he had in mind.

I was ready to fight.

The drive to the Salvatore house was a loud one filled with all the music I hadn't listened to in months. It felt good to sing along with all of my favorites and drum my thumbs on the steering wheel. It seemed like my ipod was so happy I was listening to it again, it decided to play all of my favorites back to back despite being on shuffle. I was so caught up in my music that I almost missed my turn. I drove slowly onto the smooth pathway they'd had redone, and parked in front of the front door.

There was no real way to tell if anyone was home without going to knock on the door. After I parked my car and got out, I walked up and had planned to knock on the large wooden door. I hadn't gotten to the first step before it swung open. Damon stood in the door way looking every bit as…Damon as possible. Where Stefan looked like an ad for the American Eagle sweater he wore, Damon looked more like something you'd see in New York. He gave off cool and blasé seemingly without even trying. His black shirt was short sleeved today, showing off his well muscled arms and defined chest. His jeans fit perfectly, not too long like Jeremy's or too loose like Tyler's. This was a guy who believed pants should fit and…why was I looking at his pants.

He lifted the glass of what I knew was Bourbon to his lips. "You lost?"

I stopped short. "Does one really get lost by the Salvatore place?"

"It happens more often than you think." He said. "Usually Stefan handles it."

I bet. "Because if you handled it, that poor lost soul would really become one?"

"Probably." He shrugged. "What are you doing here?"

I took a deep breath. "I'm here to learn."

He made a face. "Learn what?"

Okay, I knew this would happen. "How to fight, Damon. I'm here for you to show me what I need to know."

He turned around and walked back in the house. "Pass."

I hurried after him. "Pass? What do you mean pass?"

"Well pass usually means that someone would rather do something else. I'm saying that I'd rather fuck Caroline than try to train you. You aren't ready, I don't have the patience."

I ignored the Caroline comment. "I am ready. Look, I know how I acted before but it's different now."

Damon turned and faced me, blue eyes piercing. "It's been three days. You aren't ready."

"I-"

"Told me never to come near you again." He cut me off. "Usually when a crying, disheveled, girl screams that at you she means it."

I fought hard not to think about it. "Damon, we need to-"

"No." he was inches away from me now. He smelled like Ralph Lauren. "You need to understand something. I'm not doing this for me and I'm damn sure not doing this for you. Elena is in trouble, her life is at stake. I'm not going to waste my time training a witch who can't even get over herself long enough to deal with a vampire. You do your spells, I'll check my sources. _That's_ what we need to do."

He stalked away from me in long graceful strides that only pissed me off further. He didn't think I was ready? He didn't want to help me? We'd see about that. I looked around the room to find something that wouldn't maim him too bad. Nothing came to mind.

Back to basics, then.

"Hey Damon?" I called.

"Look, witch, I already told you-"

I swung my arm in an arc like I did that day in my bedroom. Damon went flying backwards and the glass of Bourbon fell on his face. I smiled seeing him on his back like that. I think he'd forgotten who I was and what I could do. I think I'd forgotten the same thing.

He launched himself off his back and onto his feet. "Cute."

"It gets better." I said.

I waved my arm again, but this time, I waved it towards the wall next to him and back down to the floor. Damon's body collided with the wall and his eyes widened as he hit the floor again. I hadn't even known it would work, but I felt it somewhere inside that it would. I kept my breathing even and my center focused. You can do this, Bonnie Bennett, you can do this.

Damon was on his feet again, this time with fangs. "You really came to play?"

I could do this. I nodded.

He was running towards me. I hadn't thought of anything better that I could do besides knocking him backwards, but he'd see that coming. The table to my far right was wooden and heavy, and would do great by knocking him off his feet again. I swung my right arm across the front of my torso, and watched as the table sped towards Damon. He jumped, used one of his feet to launch himself off of the table, and executed a perfect front flip to land not too far in front of me.

Fuck.

I took off towards the living room, swinging my hands and looking back in time to see the furniture blocking his path. I looked around at the talk book cases and end tables. Why the hell was everything so damned old fashioned in this house? It would've been a lot easier to knock him out if there was just-

I stopped the chair from colliding with my head just seconds before it could. When I finally shoved it away from me, Damon was gone and I had no idea where he was. At least I didn't for a second before he plowed right into my left side. I went airborne for a second or two before I landed with an oomf onto the huge leather couch. I pulled my skirt down as I scrambled off the couch and went behind it.

"You're doing good, Bennett." He said. "You know you can't stop a vampire physically. Use your surroundings as much as possible. One on one is a last resort. "

I nodded even though he couldn't see me. Use my surroundings, use my surroundings. For the past semester, I'd been coming here and walking right past that creepy suit of armor they kept stacked against the wall. I couldn't remember what kind of weapon it was holding, but I knew it was holding something. I'd never tried to animate anything in my life, but now seemed like a perfect time to test it out. I pushed myself away from the couch and into the hallway, just as Damon kicked the couch out of his way.

I sprinted past the paintings of forgotten monarchs and art and ducked behind a corner. The suit of armor was on the wall just by the stairs and I could see it clearly holding a sword in its attention stance. I sent my magic at it. I could hear the creaking of metal as the suit came to life, but it still wasn't budging the way I needed it to. I held my hand out towards it and called it with my mind. _Serve me_, I beckoned for it. _Get off the wall, and serve me._

The suit stumbled forward like it'd been pushed and used the sword to right itself. I couldn't hear Damon and I didn't know what he was doing, but I kept my magic aimed on this suit. _Walk_, I commanded it. It picked up on metal foot and brought it down, then did the same with the other. The knees creaked so loud, it sounded like an old gate, but I didn't care. It was doing what I needed and that was just fine with me.

I stepped out into the hallway just as Damon stepped in from the living room.

"It's good that you're moving, but you've got to have a plan." He said. "I could hear your heart beating everywhere. Always remember that with a vampire, you have to keep moving. Even if you think you can't keep going."

"Noted." I nodded.

"Great." He smirked as he launched at me again.

"Defend." I whispered.

The suit of armor sprang from my side, sword drawn, and hopped between me and Damon. The vampire stopped short and ducked as the suit of armor swung its sword. Every time Damon tried to get to me, the suit would stop him with a slash, even kicking Damon a time or two. Damon was fast, flipping off of the walls and avoiding the sword in graceful moves. It was like watching a dance almost, and I realized I'd never seen him move see freely. Vampires were always fast and blunt and forceful. Today, Damon was moving as if he was on stage, ducking and dodging.

It wasn't until Damon kicked the head off of the suit of armor that I realized just how much magic I'd been using to keep it animated. I felt the warm sensation come from my nose and tasted blood between my lips. My head wasn't pounding just yet, but it would be soon. My knees felt weak and my shoulders felt tense, but I wasn't backing down. If Damon wanted a fight, he'd get one. I was tired of running away and feeling scared. I was tired of doubting myself and being afraid of consequences I hadn't earned. I was tired of feeling weak.

I wanted power.

I began to chant in a low voice, pulling magic around myself as I backed away from Damon. The spell I was working in my head would fill him with pain, much like my magic did whenever I thrust it on him. As my vision began to blur and my head began to pound, I saw Damon go from vampire to concerned in two seconds. The wind, my wind, was coming through the stairwell of the Salvatore house and whipping at the tapestries on the wall. I could feel everything inside of this house; I could feel the deaths it'd seen and the blood that had spilled inside of these walls. My magic hummed in my blood and sang in my ears, happy to be called forth. I could feel everything as spots danced beyond across my vision.

I could feel Damon.

He was cool with the natural coldness that came with being a vampire, but warm because he'd had a blood bag earlier. I could feel the pressure in his gums where his fangs had retracted and the pressure in his forehead where his face regained its human appearance. He was yelling something, but I couldn't hear it. All of my sense were occupied by my magic, giving me insight into everything. I could feel the air he didn't need going in and out of his lungs, I could feel the wind of my magic beat against his skin.

I could feel the magic that reanimated him.

Just as I reached out to touch it, everything swam. My powers began to drain and I could feel my body tremble. I went to the floor and barely kept myself from falling face first into it. Blood poured freely from my nose as Damon appeared beside me, his cold palm pressing against my forehead felt like heaven.

"You weren't supposed to push yourself that far." He scolded me in a rare serious voice.

It took me a couple of times before I could speak. "I still kicked your ass."

He chuckled. "You did better than last time."

I tried to sit up completely, he wasn't having it. "Stay down."

"We have to stop Klaus." I said.

"And we will."

"You'll help me?"

"If I don't, you'll kill yourself." He said. "We have to get you stronger, Bennett. You've been using your magic all wrong."

I looked up at him. "Teach me. Everything."

Damon nodded and stared at me with serious eyes. "I plan to."

**A/N: Did I mention I hate fillers? I'm sorry, but I hate them because I feel like you have to work at them? Do you know what I mean? Like I feel like I have to work at keeping Bonnie away from Damon when that's where she's supposed to be. I didn't want to put them in front of each other immediately, which is why it'd been days since then woods incident. I feel like that was enough time for Bonnie to realize what it was she wanted and what Damon was offering her. Bonnie's also doing a lot more with her magic in this chapter, mainly because she's finally USING IT. I feel like a lot of times on the show, Bonnie can do a lot of things she just isn't given the chance. Well, she's getting one here. Also, a lot of what I want is to make bonnie a better witch. I feel like this chapter really touched on that. And also Damon. Because Damon. I just love him, I'm sure you can tell. Anyway, my biggest fear is that I'm moving too fast. In your reviews (if you review) please tell me if you think I am or not, and I'll do my best! Thank you so much to the reviews I have gotten and the ones I hope to receive. I plan on starting chapter 7, I just need to keep my mind clear. See you next time!**


	7. Essence

**A/N: So here we are again. I'd like to give a very awesome shout out damonismyhomeboy, vizzyIAM,! You two give the best, and often the most insightful, reviews. I love when I'm actually talked to in terms of feedback in a story and you guys do that, sooo I'm dedicating this to the both of you. Hope I make you guys proud. Also, thank you guys so much for all that you do review. A lot of people come through and glimpse stories, but only some of you say something and I think it's cool that you do. It lets me know that I'm doing right by something we all love and gives me the courage to keep going. Major love to Beautifulcurare also!**

***Puts on 3D glasses***

Chapter Seven: Essence

Damon had the idea that if I used more spells to channel my magic instead of just throwing magic out, then I'd become more powerful.

There was only one problem. "I do cast spells."

"No." Damon said. "You either focus all of your magic on one thing or you make something random happen. That isn't spell casting. Undoing old magic isn't spell casting either. Yeah you opened a tomb and found a few work arounds in a curse here and there, but when have you ever actually casted a spell? That's how you get powerful."

He tossed a leather bound book on the table in front of me. The cover had all kinds of strange symbols that I'd never seen before, and the book itself gave off power. I could feel a stirring in my aura and a prod at my power.

"Where did you get this?" I asked in amazement.

He shrugged. "Won it off a witch in England."

I managed to take my eyes off the book. Barely. "You won a spell book off a witch in England?"

"Yes, little echo, I did. He wasn't happy about it either."

I'd imagine not. I grabbed the book and opened it, eyes skimming over the first page. The spells themselves were in Latin, but whoever the witch had been had written the translations and uses for them. My eyes landed on one in particular that I wanted to try.

Damon saw it on my face. "Do _not_ read anything out loud from-"

"_Ignis_." I breathed.

A flame started in the center of the table and danced in front of me. I could feel that my magic had conjured it and I could feel that it was waiting for me to do something with it, but what I didn't feel was tired. There was no draining sensation, no over use of magic. It was almost as if I hadn't done anything at all.

Water splashed onto flame.

I met the eyes of one very annoyed vampire. "Maybe I should take that back."

I held the book away from him. "Never. I didn't even feel that."

"You weren't supposed to." He said. "That's how it feels when magic is done right."

It made me question where I'd been going wrong. "You think this can really make me stronger?"

"I think this," he pointed at the book. "Can help teach you how to pace your magic. You don't know your limits and constantly overexert yourself. Most witches only go that far when they're trying to work something big. You kill yourself trying to slow down the average vampire."

I looked down at the book and flipped through the pages. Each page I saw got wordier and wordier the further back I flipped. It was like a textbook. It started you off with the simple things and gradually pushed you towards something greater. By the time I got finished with this book, I could maybe even move on to another one if he had it.

Which got me thinking. "Just how many spell books do you have?"

"Enough." He said, sitting down and crossing his legs.

That wasn't an answer, but okay. "Why do you have them?"

"Know thy enemy."

I could call Damon Salvatore a lot of things, but stupid didn't make the list. It was the one thing I'd thought about since I'd become a witch, and one of the few things Grams hadn't touched upon. If vampires had been alive for so long, why didn't any of them ever do what Damon did? He collected information on his enemies and held onto it for as long as possible. If half the vampires who'd threatened me and my friends had even an ounce of that kind of planning, we'd have all been dead a long time ago.

"You seem pretty knowledgeable." I told him.

"Bonnie Bennett, was that a compliment?" he smiled big.

"An observation." I corrected. "I just mean that you seem so immersed in everything. You know about witches and werewolves and have all of these sources. Why isn't Stefan this…"

"Useful? Intelligent? Handsome?" Damon finished for me.

"I was going to say knowledgeable." I said.

"That the only word you know?" he countered.

"It's pretty apt given the situation."

"Point taken." Damon said as he sat up. "I didn't run from who I was Bennett, I embraced it."

"As opposed to Stefan?" I said.

"Completely opposed to Stefan." He continued. "My brother would rather sulk and blame himself for who he is instead of owning up to the mistakes he's made. Have you ever heard him make a point about it? Funniest shit ever."

I shook my head. "You shouldn't laugh at other people's pain."

"Stefan isn't in pain, he has poor coping abilities and internalization issues. He isn't in anymore pain than the next person."

"He doesn't feel like he's good." I told Damon. "He doesn't think he can be anymore."

Damon chuckled. "That's the biggest pile of bullshit I've ever heard."

I rolled my eyes. "You would think that way."

"You're damn right I would. Nobody knows how to be good, witch. Nobody. Good, much like beauty and right and wrong, is subjective. It varies from person to person. To some people you aren't good because you're a witch. To some people, Elena isn't good because everyone she's around dies at some point or another."

It was the first time anyone of us had admitted it aloud.

"Being good is one of those things you can't focus on too much. Do what's right for you. If you notice, helping others is seen as a 'good' but if you ask the person why they did it, what do they say?"

"It was the right thing to do."

He nodded. "Exactly. We're all in situations where we have to do the right thing and the wrong thing, but what makes and defines us are the flexibilities we allow for them. Killing isn't wrong to me. I'm a creature of the night and a killer. I have to drink blood to survive. I have to. Am I not good because I feed?"

"No, you aren't good because you kill." I said.

"But that's good by your standards. It's a completely different moral scorecard when you're a vampire."

"So what you're saying is that Stefan can't be good because he holds the actual state of being so in too high of a regard?"

His face grew serious. "Let me put it in simpler terms. Stefan can't be 'good' as the both of you put it because that's not what he wants. Stefan can't be 'good' because Stefan is a vampire. What Stefan wants is to be human. Anything other than that isn't _good _enough for him."

I didn't know what to say.

"The reason Stefan doesn't feel like he's good enough for Elena is because he can't give her what he feels she wants. He wants to give her kids and a normal life and blah, blah, blah, but what he hasn't realized is that Elena was never normal. Doppelganger blood didn't just show up because Stefan's a vampire, but he blames himself for it anyway. Sure, maybe Klaus wouldn't have found her, but I doubt it. I'm pretty sure if Katherine kept up with Isobel, she knew about Elena too. Anything that Katherine knows, Klaus can sure as hell find out. I'd pieced all of this together and you're smart enough so I'll give you the same credit. My brother? No. Never has been."

I'd always found the Salvatore dynamic to be interesting. I'd never known it to go further than just unsaid emotions and jealousy over Katherine. But sitting here now across from Damon, I could see things I'd normally had never paid attention to. And now, I could see the stark differences between the two as well. Stefan strived for the unobtainable and Damon worked with what he had. Stefan reached for long shots and Damon placed sure bets. We'd all thought Damon was a loose cannon, but maybe it begged the question:

Would you rather have a realistic loose cannon or an escapist do gooder?

Damon continued. "After I was turned, I left to do the one thing my father was against. I saw the world. I met vampires in Europe who gorged on human blood and believed in the ways of old. I dined with Asian vampires who believed that people should be willing in all feedings without compulsion. I traveled from country to country, learning and living and thriving. I danced with witches and even ate a few. I lived as a vampire, I didn't run from it. This was and is my life. I won't harp on my mistakes and I won't pine for my humanity. I don't laugh at Stefan's pain, if that's what he feels, let him feel it. I laugh because rather than make the best of what he has with the girl who loves him, he'd rather complain and bitch about the life he chose."

"He chose it?" I asked.

"Stefan had a choice, we both did. Mine was to die. He killed our father and forced me to drink from some whore he'd found. Stefan's mess is Stefan's. I won't participate in his whining and, if you care about him in the slightest, you won't either."

I got us back on subject. "So you played world traveler for awhile."

"I did it for well over a century." He nodded. "I decided that if I was going to be a vampire, I was going to be a damn good one. In order to do that, I had to learn about the different things that could help, hinder, and kill me. Most of the things that could do what I wanted which, at the time, was to free Katherine required a witch. I studied witchcraft and I learned it for myself. Can I use it? No, but I know how it works. The servants of nature and the preservers of balance. All of it is give and take."

"You studied us."

"I learned the basics. Every witch is different. There are a few practitioners and less powerful witches that I pretty much know inside and out, but lineages like yours are few and far in between. It's old magic that no one can really prepare for and, moreover, it's tied in with vampires."

I knew that last part. Emily Bennett had made the daylight rings for most of the vampires she'd come into contact with. I doubt she was forced, from what I'd heard she'd liked Katherine, but I can't imagine it sat well with our ancestors. I knew that if my helping vampires had pissed off the spirits, I couldn't fathom what helping them walking around in daylight garnered as far as punishment.

"What was she like?" I asked.

"Who?"

"Emily."

Damon smiled. "Quiet and sweet with fire in her eyes. She played her role well, but rebelled when she wanted. She believed in the good of others when she had no reason to. She helped those who needed it and punished those who harmed. She was a lot like you in a way."

"Was that a compliment?"

"An observation."

I looked away. "She was way more powerful than I am."

He nodded. "Granted, but there weren't so many limitations on magic back then. A witch started off small and got stronger as time progressed. You kind of jumped head first into big spells."

"I didn't have a choice." I said.

"I guess you didn't."

The silence that hung between us wasn't unlike the silence that had happened between Stefan and I earlier. It was clear to me that Damon wanted to say something, but what shocked me was that he wasn't saying it. He was the outspoken one, the one who had an answer for everything. I didn't expect to ever know what it was like to see him bite his tongue, but here it was.

And then.

"I'm sorry about Shelia."

Of all the things I'd expected to come from a Salvatore, I hadn't even considered this. For months I grew resentful of Elena because, while she meant good, her bullshit with the brothers had essentially cost my Grams her life, but Elena was the one who got all the apologies. At least the heartfelt ones. I always got the "Bonnie, I know but…" and the "I understand, but we need…" but I'd never gotten one sincere apology from anyone. Elena tried, she did, but when you harbor the amount of anger I was at the time, you didn't want to hear it.

Damon could tell he'd shocked me. "You're surprised."

"Slightly." I said after a few seconds.

"Why?"

"You just…you don't seem like one who does a lot of apologizing."

"I don't."

I figured. "Why now?"

He sighed and sat back in his chair. "Contrary to what you might believe about me, I'm still a person. I know what it's like to lose someone close to you. I know what it's like to look at the person who took them from you in the face and have to keep cool. You deserve it and I owe it."

It was then that a car pulled up outside. Damon listened. "Stefan and Elena. Shit, and Caroline."

I was up and packing my jacket and new spell book into my bag. "Is there a back way out?"

Damon smirked. "Ashamed to be seen with me?"

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not supposed to be, remember? I can't explain to Elena and I damn sure don't want to."

"You've been doing that a lot lately." Damon commented.

"What?"

"Holding back from them."

"I'd be stupid if I assumed they told me everything. I don't think this is any different." I said.

"That's the smartest thing I've ever heard you say." Damon stood.

The door creaked open.

Suddenly I was moving. The house flew by in a blur of deep burgundy and rich wood. Damon's hand was around mine and I found myself being mesmerized by how soft it was. I'd always assumed the skin of a vampire was tougher than that of a human's, but his didn't feel like it. It wasn't as cold as I expected either. He wasn't the same temperature I was by any means, but he was still a lot warmer than expected.

In the three seconds it'd taken me to blink and realize where I was, I was facing a doorway. Damon opened it and revealed the woods behind the boarding house.

"Make a left up the side of the house and should take you around front."

I cursed. "Elena and Caroline know I'm here. My car's out front."

"They're questioning it, but they're both inside. I'd hurry."

I took a step and stopped. "Thank you. For what you said, I mean."

"Read up." He nodded towards my bag and closed the door.

Damon made going up the side of the house seem like a blink of an eye and I supposed it would be for him. After five minutes of half jogging and slight stumbling, I made it back to my car. I didn't use the automatic unlock on my keychain and slid inside as quickly as I could. I sucked my teeth when my engine started and pulled out as quickly as I could.

But not before seeing Caroline in my rearview.

It was getting easier, I noticed, to keep things from them. Really when I thought about it, it didn't require much to do so. Keep a blank face and a closed mouth and you'd be surprised what you can keep to yourself. I didn't like lying to or withholding anything from them, but a part of me was kind of…excited? To have a secret that they didn't know about. My entire friendship with them had been completely transparent on my end. I'd always been the last to know on theirs.

As soon as I got home, I ran upstairs and closed myself in my room. I pulled the spell book out of my bag and sat on my bed, flipping through its pages. Damon had warned me against reading anything aloud and I'd listen to him. It seemed like lately these days he had more insight on my magic then I did, and he wasn't trying to bend it towards his own gain. Did I trust him completely? No. However, I didn't want to try that fire spell again and set my bed on fire.

The more I read in the book, the more I realized how right about my magic Damon was. The book wasn't just a book of spells, but also a guide on how to become more powerful in one's magic. It would show me the proper ways to cast a spell, which spells worked verbally and mentally, and which spells worked better in combination with potions. There was even a smaller potions list in the back, though not completely fleshed out. I took my hair down and changed my clothes, hardly taking my eyes off the book. I read each of the spells carefully, making a mental note of my favorite ones. There was a shape shifting charm that would allow me to change any part of my body any way I wanted as long as I could concentrate. There was a spell to freeze time with under the same condition.

There was a spell to raise the dead.

A knock on my door snapped me out of it. I put the book down and came face to face with my father.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"I came home and the house was completely quiet." He looked around my room.

"Checking for boys, daddy?" I teased.

"I didn't think I had to with you." He gave me a stern look.

"You don't."

"Good to know." He smiled. "Takeout downstairs, I can't eat it all alone."

Downstairs my dad talked to me more about work. It was always interesting to hear the things his job threw at him and watching how animated he got whenever he talked about it. He told me that he'd be gone for a week next week to Washington, just to get some documents and business transactions handled for Mystic Falls, but he wouldn't be any longer than that. He didn't like me being home alone.

I brought the chopsticks to my lips and met his eyes. "You know I can take care of myself right?"

He shook his head. "I'd feel better if you stayed at the Gilbert house. Sheriff Forbes' s house would be ideal."

Staying with either of them meant more trouble than he knew. "Dad, we've talked about this."

He held up a hand. "I know, I know. You're a…a…"

"Witch." I helped him.

"Right." He continued. "But you know I don't trust that."

It was true. My dad didn't trust witchcraft as far as he could throw it mainly because it'd ruined a lot of his life. He'd met my mother when she was seventeen, around the time she'd come into her powers, and he always told me there was something about her he couldn't put his finger on. By the time he did find out what was so mysterious about Abby Bennett, I'd already been born and she was on her way out. I'd tried to show him some of the things I could do with my magic, but lighting a candle and making feathers float really freaked him out. We didn't really go into it a whole lot, but this was closer than we'd ever been to it.

"You can trust me." I told him. "I'm getting better with it."

He nodded. "I don't doubt that, but I'm still your dad. I need to at least feel like you're somewhere safe and out of harm's way. An empty house doesn't give me that."

I wanted to tell him that the house was empty most of the time I came home, but I let the argument go. He wasn't asking for much and I'd have probably ended up over one of my friend's houses anyway. The only downside to the whole thing was that for a second, I'd really been ecstatic about having time to myself. I'd gone from being lonely without my father to being self sufficient in my relationship with him, and I really didn't want to sleep where vampires had access. The Gilbert house may as well have been a supernatural pit stop in Mystic Falls.

Caroline's house was pretty ideal. No vampires were allowed in, but Tyler was still very sired to Klaus and I didn't know if I liked the idea of that either. Plus, knowing Caroline, the second she found out my father was gone she'd try to spend all her time at my place. Vampire or not, an empty house was still party central.

_I could always come back after he was gone._

Yep, that was the plan.

A week to myself would do me some good. I could finally clear my head and have a moment without worrying about my father's safety. I could break out grams old chest and cook up weird things in the kitchen like I wanted. I could practice spells inside the house and emerge a better witch. Maybe I could have a Matilda moment and just make random shit float around the house.

I giggled at the thought.

My dad shook his head. "Nope, you aren't staying home. Pick a place."

The next day went pretty much how I figured it would. Met Matt outside and hung with him for a little bit. Apparently he'd gotten drunk and did some very questionable things with the girl who sat across from him in Brit Lit and was having a hard time deciphering how to feel about it.

"Are you itching?" I asked.

"No." he replied.

"Burning?"

"No."

"Then maybe you just had a normal hook up." I crossed my legs and smiled.

"Well I figured that." He said. "She was the first girl I'd done anything with since Elena. I told myself the next time I did something it'd be meaningful."

I shrugged. "Drunk and meaningful don't go together."

"Drunk and anything don't go together." Matt mumbled.

"No, no, dancing is fine. They're a pretty good match."

"Maybe for you. You're good at it. Elena flings her hair and Caroline humps everything. I kind of just sway."

"See, drunk and swaying works for you. Next time you're drunk just sway away the horny. It might work."

"Swaying," Matt said. "The cure for the Donovan Hard On."

"Only works when you're by yourself though. You can't sway with anyone." I wagged my finger.

"This sounds a lot like masturbation." Matt's brow furrowed.

"What the hell are you two talking about?" Caroline asked.

Elena and Caroline were together and I could see Stefan heading inside. My guess is that they'd seen me and decided another "friendtervention", as Caroline called them, was in order. I gave Matt a look and he gave the barest of nods. He wasn't leaving this time.

"Oh, you know," Matt said. "Bonnie's teaching me the art of keeping my pants on when I'm drunk."

"I didn't know your pants were coming off." Elena commented.

Matt shrugged. "Strangely enough, I didn't either."

We laughed.

Except Caroline. The blonde on a mission. "Why were you at the Salvatore's?"

"Aren't you always at the Salvatore's?" Matt asked. "It's like The Max for you three."

"A Saved by The Bell reference?" I smiled at Matt.

"It was on when I woke up this morning. I won't be judged."

Caroline folded her arms. "Zach, Lisa, focus."

"Please tell me Elena's Kelly." Matt pretended like he was praying.

Elena tossed her hair over her shoulder. "Totally."

"Does that make you Jessie?" Matt asked Caroline.

"With the bad perm and the vapid wardrobe? Hardly."

"Is Stefan Slater?" I asked.

"Tyler." Matt and Elena said at the same time.

"Bonnie, seriously." Caroline killed the fun. "You sped away when you saw me outside. You were there with Damon, is something going on?"

Matt gave me a look. "You're hanging out with Psycho Salvatore?"

I almost defended him before I realized who I was talking to. "No, we're not hanging out. He went through some books and found an old Bennett diary. He told me to get the witch bullshit out of his house."

Caroline kept at it. "That doesn't explain why you sped off like that."

"I was already outside. By the time I saw you, I was already moving. I waited for you to text me or something, but you never did."

Speaking of text messages. I got one.

It was from Damon. _Sweatpants. Tank. Sneakers. Woods._

Thankfully, the bell rang. I met Caroline's eyes head on as we all got up to go to class, and I separated with Matt when we entered the building.

"There's nothing really going on is there?" he asked.

I shook my head. "Not even. It's just a Bennett diary, nothing major."

"And you're sure?"

"Matthew Donovan." I said in a perfect impression of our third grade teacher.

"Whoa, whoa, okay. Nothing going on. Gotcha." He held up his hands.

After school I stopped by my house and changed clothes. The drive to the woods brought back memories of the last time I'd met him here, but I pushed it out of my head. I knew what I wanted and I knew he could help me. I wasn't the girl afraid of herself anymore. I was a witch with a goal and a plan. I would go into this forest with the intent on kicking Damon's ass.

The thought made me smile.

When I walked down the trail, the first thing I noticed were his shoulders. I'd never seen Damon Salvatore in anything less than a t-shirt, but today he was all tank top and jeans. Black of course, because I doubted he wore much else. I could see the muscles flex under the paleness of his skin. His tank top rose a little and exposed the strip of skin about his belt.

"You coming down here anytime soon?" he called over his shoulder.

I walked down the path, spell book in hand, and stood a little behind him.

"Like what you've read so far?" he asked.

"Yes, actually." I replied. "The variety of spells is crazy. I've never seen anything like it."

He nodded, but he still hadn't turned around. "How many have you tried?"

"None. I didn't want to set any on fire."

"Good." He said. "We can do everything at once."

When he did turn around, he was the vampire. The fangs were extended, the eyes were dark, and the veins were crawling along his face. He licked his lips and smiled.

"Not even a flinch." He said. "There might be hope for you after all."

As he lunged for me and I flung myself out of his way, I remembered to concentrate. Concentration was key with Damon, because you never knew what he was going to do. I liked that he kept me on my toes and forced me to think. Too much planning went into enough of my life. It was time for me to let go and see what I could really do.

I used the tree to catch myself and swung my arm out. Damon went backwards, but when he turned it into a back handspring, I saw the pointlessness of it. He would anticipate and use the momentum of my magic to land gracefully. I could see it now. I'd try to send him flying and he'd actually end up flying. I had to try something.

I ran through the woods. One thing that my father always taught me was that running gave you time to think. Whether it was jogging or actually running away from something, the constant rhythm of your feet hitting the ground and your legs pumping gave you inspiration. I could hear Damon above, hopping from tree to tree and stalking me. He was a black shadow in my peripherals and a slight rustle of leaves in my ears. I reached out with my magic, only slightly, and felt him tear off a branch. My legs were the target, I gathered. He wanted to trip me.

I felt the branch coming at me before I actually saw it. I whipped around, only slightly, and thrust my arm backwards. The branch bounced off the barrier of my magic and went flying right back towards Damon, who had stopped to watch me in the trees. I didn't stop running.

He cocked his head as the branch blew by him. "You can't run forever, Bennett!"

Oh, but I could. Part of being on the Mystic Falls High Cheerleading squad meant I had more physical in my arsenal than Damon thought. I'd been a hell of a tumbler and could run back and forth the entire game if necessary. Maybe he thought I couldn't run, but I could definitely-

He landed right in front of me.

It was the first time I'd ever skidded to a stop and fell. I kicked at him, but he batted my leg aside like it was nothing. He wouldn't hurt me, he would not hurt me. I needed to think, to be calm, to focus. I had another idea.

"Can I-"

"No." he cut me off. "Don't ask me anything. Experiment, Bennett, find what works for you."

Damon tried another lunge, but this time, I was read for him. I swung my arm out and called out the fire spell. I visualized the fire arcing in the air in front of me and lashing out at him. I thought about the intensity of the heat and how it wouldn't burn me. I spoke the spell with my mind, body, and heart, willing it to happen.

And it did.

The fire that burst through my hand felt hot and furious as it spread upwards at Damon. He flipped backwards, staring at me in shock and, was that approval? He winked at me as he landed squatting in a tree and smirked when he got back up there.

I was so tired of him being in a damn tree.

I stared at him and jerked my head sideways, sending him from the tree. He managed a graceful landing, but ended up moving again as I called another spell out at him. Sweat formed on my brow as I called my magic to my fingertips and tried almost everything I'd read in that book. Damon began yelling at me to move my arms more, to stop being so rigid. I moved my arms with each spell and watched the effects of my spell increase.

Damon began to move quicker as my magic picked up. What he didn't know was that I was focusing on his core. The magic inside of him that kept him alive was something that was almost palpable. I played with him, throwing small amounts of magic his way, while the big finale waited for him. I saw him shake his head as he got closer and closer to me, flipping agilely and avoiding the spells I tossed at him.

He was getting closer and I was getting more prepared. He swiped at my head and I avoided him each time. I swung my own magic as he swung his fists, and we continued the dance of ducking and dodging. He advanced on me and I backed up, holding my ground. It seemed that the more I latched onto the magic inside of him, the more I kept up with him. We were moving so fast now; everything around us was a blur. He stepped forward, I stepped backwards. He went left, I went right.

That is, until he went for my legs.

I wanted to jump, I did, but I don't know why I didn't. I fell backwards, but not before pulling one last trick of my own. I squeezed on the magic inside of Damon and brought him down with me. I hit the ground hard, but I didn't give up my fight. Damon on the other hand thought I should.

"Bennett!" he called my name, but I barely heard him.

It was like my magic had found a purpose. The magic inside of Damon was cool and sharp, and the sensation reminded me of autum chill. I focused on it, gritting my teeth and really feeling it for what it was. It was the very essence of his being, the thing that replaced his soul. It was like…like I could see the thing keeping him tethered to this life. I was seeing, magically, into his immortality.

Damon grabbed both of my wrists in one hand and pinned them over my head. His other hand went around my throat so tight it snapped me right out of my trance. Magic buzzed through my body as I came back to the world around me, and I blinked furiously as my eyes settled on the angry vampire on top of me. Damon's fangs were still sharp and ready, his eyes as black as the night. He was breathing heavy although I didn't think he needed to, and his shoulders shook.

And then he was normal again.

His face smoothed back to its usual self and it was only then that I realized what Damon Salvatore really looked like. His cheeks were tinged red from his anger, his lips were pinker than usual. His eyes swam with blue and roamed over my heaving torso. His hand loosened on my throat as he came closer to me, leaning ever so slowly into something that was way out of left field.

"If you ever do that to me again," he whispered. "I'll kill you."

There was the sound of the wind shifting, and Damon was gone. I sat up and clutched my throat, rubbing it and looking around, dazed. There was no sign of him anywhere and when I scanned the trees with my magic, he wasn't there either. I shakily got to my feet and turned around slowly. I, Bonnie Bennett, had learned something new about my powers. I, Bonnie Bennett, had explored something new and spontaneous that brought about results I could've never imagined.

And unfortunately for me, I'd just pissed off the one person that could help me.

**A/N: Sooo what did you guys think? I'll explain a few things. I'm pretty sure we all wonder what makes a vampire. While many of us have our own theories (Demons etc) mine is a little more mystical. I believe that since magic is what made them, Magic is what animates them. Makes sense right? Really, what is Siring or being a maker (if you're a trubie) other than blood transference which is a form of magic. At least in my head. Our little witch is getting stronger, but in this chapter she's a little too strong for our vampire. I know some of you might have a problem or two with the power inconsistency, but I like to think of her magic as having good days and bad. Bonnie isn't going to master everything, but she isn't going to be a complete wimp either. She has a book, the will, and maybe (maybe not) Damon. She's headed in the right direction, trust me. A lot of the magical things (mainly the ending) in this chapter will be explained in the next chapter. Oh, btw, did our fav couple get a little closer and a little up close this chapter? I feel a kiss scene coming soon. And I'm excited as shit about it. Read, Review, flip me off, your choice!**


	8. Green

**A/N: I've been thinking about song recs. I love music and I really want something to set the mood for the chapters while also giving you guys a peek into the way I view Bonnie and Damon's relationship. That'll be later though. Thanks again for the reviews, I love them, really. I like hearing what everyone has to say about the story and I love what you guys say about the characters. We're already on chapter eight?! Seriously? Awesooooome! **

Chapter Eight: Green

My body was on fire. Whatever I'd done out in the woods that helped me keep up with Damon was something I never needed to do again. It was like I'd done the worst kind of extreme workout with a body builder. My arms ached like crazy and my legs burned like hell. What was worse was that my magic, while still present, took a lot longer to call on. it was like trying to crank an old car. The first try didn't work and neither did the second. When it did decide to work, I ended up flinging my curtain so hard it flew off my window.

I pulled the covers over my head and stayed that way.

Damon wasn't answering my calls, period. As a matter of fact whenever I made a point to call him, I promptly got sent to voicemail. My text messages were ignored even though I knew he was reading them and to add to insult to injury, there was no one I could ask about it. Well, that wasn't totally true. I could probably call Stefan and do it that way, but something told me that would cause more problems than it solved. Besides, I respected Damon enough not to go tattling to his brother.

Still though, it bothered me that he was so angry with me. Had we not discussed finding out why he could feel me use my magic? Wasn't it the both of us who wanted to solve that mystery? I didn't think I was alone in that, but maybe I was. I'd seen what I'd done yesterday as an accomplishment in terms of my magic. I'd kept up with a vampire, literally blow for blow. I'd stared deep inside of his core and touched the thing that kept him alive. If I could do that to him, could I do it to Stefan? To Caroline?

To the Originals?

The thought alone made me shiver. I'd never done anything like that before and keeping up with Damon had wiped me out. If I did try that with one of the Mikaelsons, what would happen? Maybe I'd go to sleep for a week or be paralyzed for two. I might even die. It seemed like everything witch related came back to my death in one form or another, but on some level I'd gotten used to that. Seeing your grandmother push the boundaries of magic and die over a spell her own family made kind of prepared you for it.

When my phone rang, I dove for it. Why I was so interested in getting a phone call from Damon I don't know, but I wanted it. I didn't even know what I would say to him, but I wanted the option. My body screamed at me as rushed to my bag, hurrying before the phone call ended.

"Hello?" I hadn't even bothered to check the ID.

"A German spell book." Alraic said.

I was confused. "Okay?"

"One of my contacts in Germany found a spell book with a section specifically dedicated to Doppelgangers. He sent it to me."

I knew where this was going. "When and where?"

"My apartment, an hour."

After we hung up, I walked slowly and painfully into my bathroom and showered. The hot water did amazing things for the aches I felt and relieved the knots in my shoulders. As I blow dried my hair, I realized something looked off about me. My skin was the same color, though a little paler after the shower, and my hair was still the same almost black it always was.

My eyes.

Where they'd once played with the idea of hazel, there was more green to them now. I got as close to the mirror as I could without actually pressing my face against it and examined my eyes. I could still see the usual light brown that I'd been born with, but it was like someone added a subtle green to the mix. They were surprisingly clear, not the sometimes murky of other hazel eyes. It made the rest of my features stand out more, pronouncing my skin tone and hair color. I looked more exotic.

I looked more…witchy.

Magic, this was from my magic. I don't know how it happened, but something inside of me felt that's what it was. I blinked and rolled my eyes a few times to see if anything would change. Nothing did. There was no pain or anything, just new greener eyes. I shook my head and stepped out of my bathroom, wondering what was next. Maybe I should chill on the magic before I wound up with red hair or something.

Alaric's apartment was less apartment and more supernatural work shop. To my left were blades, long and short, of every kind and to my right was what I could only describe as defensive equipment. There was a crossbow on the coffee table, a net launcher beside that, a dozen bottles of vervain, and a…water gun.

"I didn't take you for the Nerf kind, Alaric." I said eyeing the neon orange and green super soaker.

He shrugged. "Have you ever seen a vampire shot in the face with Vervain?"

"No."

"Best thing ever."

"I'll take your word for it."

He smiled. "The book's on the counter."

I stepped over what looked like a duffle bag full of stakes and grabbed the book in my hands. A book of things I didn't know in a language I couldn't read. I suddenly regretted dropping my German class at Virginia Tech last summer. The book looked worn, but not too old, more used than anything. I could feel the remnants of magic on the pages and I could tell the book itself hadn't been used in awhile. Read and translated maybe, but a witch hadn't touched this in ages.

I looked up. "I can't read it, but it's definitely a spell book."

Alaric leaned on the counter. "I figure if I can translate it, maybe we can find out if there's anything useful."

"The German looks pretty old." I said. "Your contact couldn't give a hint?"

"I don't like owing too many favors." Alaric replied. "Also, _Saltzman_."

"Right. You're German."

"Das ist richtig."

"How long do you think it'll take?"

Alaric let out a breath. "Awhile. A long one."

That was good to hear. If I got stronger before he translated, maybe I could keep the originals at bay until everything was done. We had four months. Surely by then we'd be able to pull everything together. Hopefully it was enough time.

"Damon's pretty good at old languages too." Alaric said. "Maybe he can help me."

I started to tell him I didn't think Damon was going to help anyone, but that wasn't fair. Just because Damon was pissed at me for whatever reason didn't mean he wouldn't help Alaric. Had either of us even told Damon the plan we'd come up with? I couldn't remember anymore.

"How's the magic coming along?" He asked.

"It's coming." I told him. "I've learned that I've been throwing around magic instead of really using it."

He nodded. "That sounds about right. It's a good thing you realized it early. Some witches never do."

Two days later, I found myself sitting on the kitchen floor with two open books and a bowl of smoking sunflower petals and vervain. It was a potion I was trying to make, one that would make instant sunlight. I didn't know if it would work or not, but I'd made the promise to myself to try more spells I was interested in and this was it. Besides, even though my body didn't feel like it wanted to kill me anymore, there still hadn't been any word from Damon.

I tried not to lose my concentration when I thought about it, but it was starting to piss me off. I hadn't done anything wrong and we had an objective. I needed to get stronger, I couldn't do it alone, and he knew how. Whatever issues he had, he needed to get over them because it was stupid. There was nothing wrong with what I'd done and, in fact, I'd only done what we were probably going to end up doing anyway.

"Jackass vampire." I seethed as I added more sunflower pedals.

I flipped the page back to where the potion was located, and started listing the directions in my head.

_Pour Liquid vervain into wooden bowl as a base._ Did that.

_Add Sunflower Pedals to achieve nature's ground form of the sun._ Did that.

_Let cool for ten minutes._ How Betty Crocker.

I whispered the spell to send the flame I'd conjured away. In two days and lack of physical training, I'd poured myself into spell casting. I could now make plants grow, though I needed the seeds, had more control over telekinesis, and could hover in midair. Slightly. The last one ended badly a couple times, but I kept at it until I got it right. I'd been itching to try a Glamour, but I didn't know if I was ready for that yet. My eyes were already turning green on their own; I didn't want to end up completely changing my face.

I tossed the remainder of the sunflower pedals into the smoking bowl and placed my hands on my knees. I took a deep breath and concentrated solely on what I wanted to happen. I pulled my magic each time I inhaled and let it go when I exhaled. I pictured the rays of the sun and the heat I expected to feel. I thought of summer and how bright it stayed all day. I focused on the smell of the burning vervain.

"_Da mihi soles." _I whispered.

Nothing happened.

I tried the spell again, but again nothing happened. I looked at the ingredients in the spell book and checked the wooden bowl. I'd done everything correctly, even down to focusing on what the sun felt like. Maybe it was because the sun was still out? Damn late afternoon.

A knock at the front door made me jump. I hadn't been expecting anyone, but Caroline and Elena were at my door. Elena's aura was warm and lively while Caroline's was cool and sharp like a vampire's. They both still kept their colors, Elena's was purple and Caroline's was light blue, but it reminded me that I'd never felt the difference in auras until that day with Damon.

I opened the door. "Hey what's up?"

Elena pulled a bottle of vodka from behind her back and wiggled it at me. "Heard your dad's gone for the week."

My eyes flicked to Caroline. "He told your mom?"

"Yep, he wants you to stay with us." Caroline smiled. "He doesn't want his little Bon Bon staying home alone."

I let them both in. "Okay, who decided 'Bon Bon' was the new nickname? Let me know so they can die."

Elena giggled. "I told her you'd hate it."

Caroline crossed the threshold and closed the door. "It reminds me of that Ricky Martin song my aunt used to lo-"

Sunlight and wind rushed from the kitchen and smacked right into Caroline. It was fast and blinding, making spots dance in front of my eyes as it knocked me and Elena away from her. I could feel the familiar heat of summer on my skin and the smell of vervain was everywhere.

Caroline was screaming. "What the fuck is this Bonnie?!"

"I don't know!" I cried. "I tried a spell earlier but it didn't work!"

Elena pushed her hair out of her face and looked at me. "You did a spell to kill Caroline?!"

"No I didn't do a spell to kill her! I was trying to-"

"I don't care!" Caroline screamed. "Stop it Bonnie, it's starting to burn!"

I got to my feet and stumbled into the kitchen, trying not to look directly into the blinding light. It was coming from the wooden bowl, all of it, and the scent of vervain was almost choking the closer I got to it. I waved my hand and the bowl went flying into the sink. As soon as the ingredients were sliding down the drain, the light stopped and the wind settled. My ears were still ringing as I turned on the water, and I heard Elena checking on Caroline.

A very pink and smoking Caroline. "Bonnie what the hell? I bring Alcohol and you bring death?"

"Care, I'm so sorry." I said as I rushed to her side. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." She said, stripping out of her jacket. The pink blemishes on her skin were fading fast as she rubbed her arms. "What kind of spell was that anyway?"

I smiled. "A sunlight spell."

"You made sunlight?" Elena asked.

"I guess so." I didn't want to smile, but I couldn't help it. Granted I'd almost fried my best friend alive, but this was beyond cool. The spell book hadn't said anything about being in the presence of vampires to work, but thinking about it now it made more sense. Why else would anyone need to conjure sunlight?

"Don't look too guilty, Bonnie. I might think you feel bad." Caroline said as we helped her up.

"I do feel bad, but I did a spell that worked!" I beamed. "You guys know how hit and miss my magic is."

"Well it was very much hit this time." Caroline rolled her eyes.

Elena looked at Caroline. "Are you wearing your daylight ring?"

Caroline held up her right hand. "Never take it off."

I froze. Conjuring sunlight was one thing. Conjuring sunlight that defied a daylight rings magic was a completely different animal. They looked at me and I looked at them. I had to come up with something.

"Maybe the daylight kept you from burning completely." Elena tried.

Yeah let's go with that. "I think so too."

Caroline huffed. "Sucks for the vampires without them then."

After we got past my spell, Caroline was her usually bubbly self. She told me about Tyler and how he occasionally heard things from Klaus, mainly that he should keep an eye on Elena. Caroline also told me the extreme measures she's had to go through to keep Tyler away from her.

"It's like Klaus says something and Tyler's just does it." Caroline said. "He doesn't question it or anything. He might feel bad about it, but he still does it."

"So how do you keep him away from Elena?" I asked sipping my vodka cranberry Elena made.

She winked. "I have my ways."

"Who knew blonde weakened the sire bond?" Elena laughed.

I looked at Elena, who was obviously slightly passed buzzed. "You're not worried about it, are you?"

Elena shrugged. "I mean yeah, I kind of am, but Stefan's been glued to me for some reason. And he's feeling a lot better."

"That's because you did him right before I came and got you." Caroline laughed.

So did Elena. "That might've helped. We've been talking about getting back together."

"Glad to hear it. Maybe he can stop moping now." I said.

"God, I hope so." Caroline tossed her head back. "I love him, but he's such a downer."

"He's just worries he isn't good enough for me sometimes." Elena said. "I think he wants to be human."

"Maybe it's good he's not. From what I've heard, human Stefan was a jerk anyway." It slipped before I could stop it.

"Who told you that?" Elena asked.

"Stefan on more than one occasion." I pointed out.

"Damon on others." Caroline said.

"Damon," Elena sighed. "Damon just doesn't get it. He enjoys being a vampire, Stefan doesn't."

"I don't think so. I think that Damon may like what it comes with and got used to it faster, but I don't think it's something he wakes up everyday feeling happy about."

Elena shook her head. "I've heard him say he likes it Bonnie. I've heard him describe kills."

"I've heard Stefan do the same thing." Why was I defending Damon?

"It's different." Elena retorted. "Stefan does like being a vampire, it's The Ripper who's into all the blood and gore and destruction."

I usually wouldn't press the issue, but… "They're the same person, I just think Stefan works harder at being human and the ripper revels in what Stefan doesn't allow. It's like Superman."

"Superman? Hang with Jeremy much?" Carolina teased.

I smiled. "I mean Clark Kent works at being Clark Kent, but Superman is who he really is. I think maybe the Ripper comes out so strong because Stefan tries to ignore it."

Elena got defensive. "How can you say that? If Stefan didn't try to ignore it he'd massacre half of Mystic Falls."

"It's like magic." I tried to reason. "When I tried not to use it after Grams died, it showed up in different ways. I'd get angry and start a fire. I'd be sad and it rained. The more I used it and got used to it, the more control I had."

"Control? The kind that attacks your best friend and nearly burns her alive? That control?"

Bitch.

Caroline intervened. "You guys, come on. We've all had waay too much-"

Elena cut her off. "No, wait Care, I want to hear it. You're saying that Stefan was evil this last time because he couldn't control himself? That it was all him?"

"I'm saying," I was trying to keep my annoyance down. "That maybe if Stefan allowed himself more leeway and stop being so hard himself, maybe others wouldn't be so quick to take advantage of it."

"His humanity was off, Bonnie." Elena was on her feet now and she was louder.

I was on my feet too. "I don't deny that. All I'm saying is that you can't say Damon likes being a vampire when, given the right circumstances, so does Stefan."

Elena was laughing and it wasn't a good sound. "Really, Bonnie? Stefan hates what he is, Damon likes it. I've spent enough time with both to know how they think."

It was too easy. I let it go. "And all I'm saying is even though Stefan may hate what he is, it doesn't change the fact the he still is what he is. You can't try to be half of who you are and be upset when the other half wants a turn."

"How the hell would you know?" Elena argued. "You've never done anything! All you do is judge everyone! You judge Caroline for the comments she makes, you judge me for who I do and don't love. You judge us both for having sex. Hell I wouldn't be surprised if you secretly hated all of us. Bonnie doesn't make bad decisions, Bonnie doesn't live. She just blames the rest of us for it."

It was like ice exploding in my chest. I felt the stirring of my magic and tingling of my fingertips. I fought back the tears in my eyes and dug my nails deep into my palms. How could she say that to me? I loved the both of them more than anything. Was this what she thought about me?

Was this what _they_ thought?

Elena took a breath. "Bonnie, I'm-"

The front door flew open so hard it hit the wall and bounced. Hangout time was over.

"You should go." I said, not looking at either one of them.

"Bonnie wait," Caroline took a step towards me. "Look we can all talk about this. We're best friends, we fight and we move on."

I wasn't moving anywhere. They were. "I'm tired. It's late. You should go."

"You're supposed to come home with me." Caroline said. "Your dad asked."

"I'm fine."

Elena tried again. "Bonnie, please just-"

"Get. Out. Now." My voice was low.

Elena and Caroline headed towards the door, looking back over their shoulders. Caroline looked calm and apologetic while Elena just looked horrified. There were tears in her eyes as she tried to hold herself together and when she tried to say something, Caroline whispered something to her and she let it go.

After my door closed, I let the tears fall.

And then I got angry. I'd done everything I could for those two. Yeah, maybe I hadn't lost my virginity but who the hell had time to worrying about them all the time? Bonnie didn't live? Bonnie judged? If that's what they thought, fine. That's what I get for trying to do whatever everyone suggested since he'd saved Elena's life so many times. "Try to see it from Damon's point of view" "Damon isn't so bad".

Damon.

How dare he? How dare he ignore me for being a witch. Witches did spells, I did a spell. I played with magic, I used it on him like he'd wanted me to. I'd gotten stronger, I'd listened, I'd headed he's advice. And now, because of some odd reason or another, he wanted to ignore me? No. I was done with everyone and their bullshit and I was especially done with his.

I waited until Caroline and Elena pulled out of my driveway, threw on a sweatshirt and sneakers, and got inside my own car. The sun had given way to a darkening blue, and as I sped down the road to the boarding house, I watched the trees bend away from my anger. My radio turned itself to the heavy metal station, my foot pressed the gas pedal harder. My tears streamed down my face and plopped onto my sweatshirt.

When I got to the Salvatore house, I dried my face and tried to calm myself. It didn't work. I got out of the car and stormed up to the already opened door and let myself in. The place was a mess with papers everywhere and overturned furniture. The table I'd flung at Damon was broken in half now and the chair by the fireplace was upside down by the stairs. I ran through the hallway, magic at the ready, but stopped when I got to the living room.

Damon was sitting on the couch with his head down. His shirt was torn open and his knuckles had blood on them. He wasn't wearing the expensive shoes I was used to and he wasn't moving no matter how much I walked into the living room. I could smell Bourbon, lots of it, and trust me when I say that I'd been here enough times to know the smell. I'd been moving pretty quietly, at least to me, until I crunched a piece of glass under my shoe. I froze. Damon looked up.

And he was drunk. "The fuck do you want?"

His lip was bleeding. "Who did this?"

He smirked. "Me and baby bro had it out."

I looked around the disheveled space. "That's one way of putting it."

"Why are you here, witch?" he asked, lifting the bottle of Bourbon to his lips.

"You've been ignoring me. Why?" I asked.

"I'm an asshole, you didn't know?" He cocked his head.

"Snap out of it, I'm serious."

"So am I."

Drunk vampires were annoying. "We're supposed to be training Damon. We don't have time for-"

"They fucked you know." Damon said. "While I was here. He fucked her. She fucked him. Lot of that happened."

I was confused. "What?"

He sighed. "Goddamn virgin. When a boy and a girl supposedly like each other, they fu-"

"I know what that is, jackass." I fought the warm feeling in my cheeks.

"Jackass. Is that a step up or down from asshole?" He looked thoughtful.

"It's equally annoying."

If possible his smirk got deeper. "You're the only honest one."

"Why are you igno-"

"She told me she cared about me, did you know that?" Damon went on. "After she kissed me, she told me she cared about me. Told me that while she loved Stefan, she couldn't keep lying about how she felt about me."

_That's because you did him right before I came and got you._

The pieces fit together suddenly. "Damon,"

"So after Barbie comes and takes her to your place, Stefan starts walking around like he's on cloud fucking nine." Damon continued. "Smiling at me and saying shit about us traveling again once this whole Klaus thing is over. All I could hear were the sounds of her moans. All I could think about was her fucking giggling through the walls."

"I hit Stefan. I kicked his ass all the way downstairs and back. I'd have kept kicking it if he hadn't stabbed me with the poker over there."

The poker had blood around it.

"It was Katherine all over again." He said. "Except this time it was a girl worth fighting over."

"Damon," I tried again. "You can't do that to yourself."

"I didn't stab myself with a poker." He drank more Bourbon from the bottle then set it down on the edge of the table.

Was I speaking Japanese? "I meant with Elena. She loves Stefan. You have to let that go."

He sneered. "What the fuck do you know? You're the only one out of the group who doesn't have a damn love interest nor have you had one the entire time I've known you."

"That's not the point." I told him.

"No the point is that I don't want to listen to a girl who doesn't know an orgasm from a hole in the ground trying to tell me what the fuck I should feel."

Asshole. "Fuck you."

"I don't teach, sorry."

He's angry Bonnie. Back on track. "I want to know why you've been ignoring me."

He chuckled. "I don't like prudes. They piss on my parade."

"I'm serious Damon."

"You know we all sat down once and wondered when you'd decide to live a little?" he said. "Elena said it was your choice, but the rest of us didn't think so."

"Stop." I warned.

"Stefan said college. Caroline said fifty." He went on.

"Shut up." I said as the lights flickered.

"You know we've all seen the way you and Jeremy look at each other sometimes. Maybe he can teach you a thing or two. After all, even he had Vikki."

I could feel it in my chest again, that cold feeling. I'd come over here looking for trouble and damn if I hadn't found it. My limbs cooled and my eyes burned. I blinked my tears away and fought to stop shaking. I could leave here. I could leave them all. Dad asked me every year around this time if I wanted to move to a bigger city with a better school and I always turned him down. I could pull away now and be gone at the end of May.

"I'm done." I said.

"What was that?" Damon asked. "Speak up, little mouse."

"I'm fucking done." I hissed. "I'm done with you, I'm done with this vampire bullshit, and I'm done with this love rhombus all of you are in. I'm leaving."

I turned my back on him and headed towards the door. Fuck him and his misplaced anger. Fuck his woe is my brother too. Fuck them all. Bonnie was gone.

A hand on my shoulder turned me around and pinned me to the wall. "Don't ever walk away from me."

I narrowed my eyes. "I know you're drunk, vampire, but don't forget who I am."

I expected him to say something back, but instead he stared at me. We were back to being as close as we'd been in the forest that day, and in almost the same position except vertical this time. I'd never realized how tall he was or how much space he occupied. I'd always seen him as lean compared to Stefan, but Damon was muscular by himself.

"Your eyes." He whispered.

"What about them?"

"They're so green."

And then he was kissing me.

I started to push him away from me, I started to magic him away from me, but then I thought about something. He and everyone else thought I didn't live, thought I couldn't. According to them, I was nothing but a stuck up, judgmental, prude with nothing to do but comment on everybody else's life. According to them, my _friends_, that's all I was.

I kissed him back.

Damon pressed the full weight of himself against me, pressing me into the wall. His hand found the back of my neck and pulled me closer while my fingers gripped his hair. I was amazed to find how soft and thick it was, almost as thick as my own. Nothing was softer than his lips though, not even Barry Whitmore's that time back in eighth grade. His tongue parted my lips and explored my mouth slowly, giving me time to catch his rhythm. When I caught it, he pressed himself further into me and snaked his arm around my waist.

The sound of glass breaking shocked us out of the kiss and away from each other. Damon stepped backwards and I had to try not to slide down the wall. We didn't look at each other yet, both of us I think trying to figure out what the hell had just happened, and we both looked into the living room. The bottle of Bourbon had fallen off the edge of the table.

"Shit." Damon cursed.

I was still looking everywhere else but his face.

"I should go." I said.

He nodded. "Yeah."

I folded my arms and walked back to my car on autopilot. I drove home that way too. Once I was inside of my house I looked at the bottles of alcohol Caroline and Elena had left. I put the tops on them, put them back in the bags, and put them in the cabinet. I cleaned up the living room, got my spell books out of the kitchen, and washed the wooden bowl from earlier. I cast a spell on my house and headed up to me room. I flopped backwards on my bed and let the silence take over. I'd casted a spell, almost burned one friend alive, and fought the other one.

Then I'd made out with Damon Salvatore.

I stripped out of my clothes, turned off my lights and got under my covers. I tried to forget the way he felt against me, the way his hands held me. I tried to forget the feel of his lips on mine and how soft they were. I tried to forget the taste of Bourbon on my lips.

I tried. I failed.

**A/N: What's up guys? Sooooo what'd you think? I want to say here's where the romance chapters are going to start. I'm not really good with access emotion, but I'm going to try lol. Besides, now that we actually have emotion to talk about, maybe it won't be so hard. I loved what I got for the last chapter thank you, and I hope you guys don't hate Damon too much for the things he said to Bonnie. We all know how he lashes out and shares pain. The fight with Elena and Bonnie needed to happen as well. I don't know why, but I feel like after Bonnie got to understand Damon more, she couldn't just let what Elena said fly like that. Also keep in mind that Elena was drunk. I'm having so much fun writing this, I hope I didn't end it badly. **

**Oh. And there's a surprise next chapter. Wait for it.**


	9. Reflect

**A/N: *Justin Timberlake Voice* xoxArtimisSalvatoreBennettxox this goes out to you, you, you. Dedicated to you, you, you (Listen to the beginning of his song Strawberry Bubblegum and you'll get it). Seriously though, your review gave me everything. Also to Damonismyhomeboy, VizzyIAM, and the rest of you who asked for a certain…well, I'll let you get to it.**

**Damon**

Lying in the middle of the street was something I got from a gypsy. She told me that whenever she felt out of sorts with her life, she'd lay in the middle of the darkest street and let fate decide for her. If something came from the right, she would follow her mind. If from the left, she would follow her heart. I'm not sure what direction told her to come out with me, but I was glad she did. She was some of the sweetest blood I'd ever had.

I stared up at the stars in the night sky. As a vampire I could see their true form if I focused hard enough and didn't have to worry about being blinded. Frankly I found them vastly uninteresting, but even I could admit their beauty. In Mystic Falls, you never really got the chance to look at the stars. Some blame the lights that kept the town running, but I blamed something else. You couldn't take your eyes off anything without someone trying to kill you here, let alone stargaze.

Why had I come back?

Backtracking was something I had never done. When I'd left Mystic Falls the first time, I vowed never to return. There was nothing here for me, there never had been. Katherine had been a motive, one that had driven the state of my life for well over a century, but she hadn't been the only thing out there for me. I think that on some level I knew that, much like I always had.

When I was seventeen, I found myself. I knew what I wanted, I knew how to get it, I knew how to achieve what I wanted in life. I wanted to travel the world and be an artist, to have my paintings line the walls of galleries and royal walls of France. I wanted to go to my family's origin of Italy and let the enchantment of the city bring out my inner Italian. I wanted to sail on Rivieras and paint on cliffs.

My father didn't agree.

Stefan had always cited Katherine as the downfall in our relationship, but that only proved how blind he was. Our father, Giuseppe Salvatore, had completely ruined whatever chance my brother and I had at any real meaningful relationship. He pitted us against each other in the worst ways, the reward his affections. If I beat Stefan it was because I was older. If Stefan beat me I was weak, a daydreamer, foolish. The family business was mine when he died although he felt Stefan would do it more justice.

"You're too compassionate." He would say. "Too much of your mother in you."

And he was right. My mother was a kaleidoscope of a woman with long, thick, black hair that hung past her waist. Her eyes sparkled like lapis lazuli in sun and her full lips always smiled a secret smile just for me. I was told I looked just like her twin brother, which was how I'd gotten my name. She would wake me up in the early mornings to watch the sunrise with her and dance around the magnolia tree that grew in the yard behind our house. She would sing with the birds and twirl in the wind, holding my hand and spinning us in a circle. Looking back on it, those were my happiest times as a child.

Thinking about it now, they were my happiest times period.

Stefan was more interested in what our father was doing, but my mother was okay with that. Whenever I got mad because he'd turned down time with our mother, she'd rub my shoulders and soothe me.

"Damon, my love," she would always start. "Why are you so angry with him?"

"He never spends time with you mother, never." I'd say. "He's spoiled and dismissive."

"He's his father's son, like you are mine." She'd say. "I don't remember you being excited about learning your father's business. Or am I wrong?'

"You're right."

"Do not be mad at your brother for his interests. Love him for who he is."

"Yes ma'am."

"Besides, does this not leave more time for us?" she'd wink.

Where my father broke me down and instilled a work ethic, my mother nurtured my soul. She allowed me to draw the things I wanted and encouraged my tastes in music. She was the one who taught me to waltz whenever there was a ball at the Lockwoods. I remembered how she would cheer for the both of us whenever our father made us compete. When either one of us won, we were spared no rewards thought Stefan got my father's approval when he did. When I won, my mother would sneak a bite of chocolate.

When I was eighteen, she died.

I can't even remember how it happened really, some disease that went around at the time. It bothered me so much because it seemed as though no one cared but me. My father handled her arrangements with businessman prestige and my brother did whatever my father told him. I remember laying in my bed and wanting to die when Stefan came into my room.

"Father wants you out of bed and dressed in ten minutes sharp." He'd said.

"Father can go to hell." I'd murmured.

Stefan shook his head. "You aren't accomplishing anything by acting this way. Father has a tough enough time as it is without his oldest heir acting out."

I sat up and looked at my brother. Where I'd gotten my mother's pale skin, he'd gotten our father's sun kissed tan. Where my hair was as black as my mother's, he'd had our fathers sandy brown. They had the same brownish hazel eyes, the same stubborn set to their jaws, and the same brow that would always furrow before it did anything else. I saw nothing of my mother on him, nothing except maybe her height. That was something we'd gotten from the other parent. I would always be taller than Stefan.

"Did you even love her?" I asked.

Stefan's eyes narrowed. "She was my mother, of course I loved her."

"You never spent time with her. You never did anything with her."

Stefan shook his head. "Father needed help. While you were drawing your pictures, I was helping father around town. While you were busy with dancing and music, I was busy getting to know the doctors and learning about what I wanted to do with my life."

Stefan headed towards the door. "Maybe you spent the most time with her, but you weren't the only one who loved her and you weren't the only one she loved."

At the funeral, my brother got most of the condolences. I guess when I thought about it, I shouldn't have been surprised. Stefan knew these people and cared for them. He helped them when he could and spoke pleasantly when he talked. His humor was suited for his age and not of someone older. The doctors loved him, which would work in his favor when he wanted to go into the medical field. The girls thought he was handsome which only flattered him more. My brother was smart, gifted, ambitious, loving. Most of all my brother was adored by the only parent we had left.

Needless to say all of my plans for my life took a completely different turn.

It wasn't until after I died that I truly started to do the things my father was against. I'd traveled and explored the different cultures around me. I met other vampires who taught me how to survive. When they asked me who my maker was, I guarded Katherine like my own little secret. I was ashamed that a woman had gotten the best of me and longed for my brother. I was embarrassed that I had nothing to show for it other than puncture wounds.

By the time I'd come back to Mystic Falls, I was a changed man. I'd reveled in the sex, blood, and music of the ages. I'd surrendered myself to my vampiric nature ten times over. I'd made long lasting connections with people who felt just as out of place as I did. I'd solidified myself as a vampire and a man. I'd seen the world, I'd done it all. I fucked up, I fucked around, I rebelled against the values I'd been taught. I let the bloodlust and the hunger sate itself while I watched. I turned my humanity off for six years and turned it back on. Now all I needed was the one thing I should've avoided.

Katherine.

Seeing Elena was probably my second undoing. She had all the looks of Katherine and all the fire of a girl unrealized. I saw the compassion inside of her, the thirst for more from life. I saw that even though she'd broken up with her boyfriend, she'd felt better that she was free. Her smile was so genuine and warm, her face flawless. She was just like Katherine and nothing like her at all.

And somehow, Stefan got her.

I shouldn't have been surprised, Stefan got everything. It wasn't his doing, I never once blamed him, but it was something that he'd been born with. My father had raised Stefan with the destiny of a champion. A destiny so strong that even when he rose from the dead, it favored him. I was the one with the heavy heart and the vampire doppelganger on my back. I was the one with the hate and the envy and the longing. And so I did the only thing I could do, I caused chaos.

But after looking at Elena for so long, I realized something else. A few weeks ago, in the living room, I noticed Bonnie Bennett for the first time. I'd always seen her, Bennett witches were hard to miss and our lives had been endangered more than enough times, but it wasn't until now that I noticed her. If I'd thought Elena was bored before, I hadn't been paying attention. Bonnie Bennett was the girl that managed to appear like she was paying attention and be off in her own world. She'd been on that same page for twenty minutes, her eyebrows raised every so often, and she rocked her legs every three minutes.

I made eye contact with her.

The girl had fire, more fire than anyone I'd ever seen including Katherine. What Elena and Caroline had in modern girl ways, Bonnie had the appeal of a classic. Her eyes blazed with a fiery spirit and when she spoke, it was usually valid. Her decisions were hers and concrete and her morals didn't waver. After watching Caroline who bounced between Clueless and Girl Interrupted, and Elena who couldn't decide if she wanted adventure or safety, I could appreciate a girl who was over it all.

I flipped her off.

While she was so many good things, Bonnie also irritated the living shit out of me. Her magic was always faulty, she let everyone tell her what to do. She put me in my place but couldn't stand up to her friends. She saw me for who I was, but couldn't keep her friend away from death and his brother. She fought hard and stupid, almost killing herself in the process. She judged too much, she stayed in her shell, she never took it easy on me. She didn't pity me when Katherine wasn't in the tomb. She had magic beyond the imagination and iron will, but the wherewithal of a teenage girl.

Of all of us, she had the most hope.

It sickened me that she knew me better than anyone else. It annoyed me that she wasn't as trusting. Bonnie could spot my bullshit from a mile away and would let me know when it stunk. She didn't beat around the bush about her dislike for me, even though she knew her best friend did.

She was also the first person to know what me and Elena felt for each other.

Helping Bonnie with her magic was something I signed up for because I'd forgotten what actual potential looked like. The girl had serious abilities and we needed to hone them. She took to magic like a fish to water whenever she got the guidance. She gave lip, but backed it up better than anyone I'd ever met. The one thing I strived for her to have was control. Once she had it, no one would ever take it from her.

Until the day in the forest when I realized how powerful she was. I could feel her latch onto something inside of me, something deep in my core. When I moved, she moved and kept fighting. The faster I let my body move, the more she kept up. Soon we were going at a speed no one, not even a witch, should've been able to keep up with. She ducked and dodged me with a seriousness in her face and wildness in her eyes. Then she pulled.

It was like being exposed. I'd always thought I didn't have a soul until that day, and Bonnie showed me I still had something. There was something inside of me that still held who I was and kept me alive. There was something that woke me up and fueled me and my desires. This girl, this _witch_ had shown me that the feeling of emptiness I'd been living with for years had been emotional and not biological. And I hated her for it.

I hated her even more for that damn fire in her eyes. I despised her for it. All of that fucking vitality and longing for more was the thing that drove me over the edge. After Stefan fucked Elena, Bonnie showed up. Her eyes blazed with anger from my ignoring her. Truth was, what did you say to someone who'd had their hand on your soul? What did you say to the person you could feel from a mile away? How did you let them know that you hated them for showing you the truth and wanted to kiss them for doing it?

"I'm fucking done." Bonnie spat me. "I'm done with you, I'm done with this vampire bullshit, and I'm done with this love rhombus all of you are in. I'm leaving."

Rhombus? Cute.

She turned her back on me, the first woman to ever do it. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was my bullshit day, but I wanted to do something else. I got tired of pining for a doppelganger and I got tired of fighting my damn brother all the time. I pinned Bonnie against the wall and saw the hurt in her eyes. I'd said some fucked up things in anger, like I always did. I stared at her heart shaped face filled with innocence and defiance. I looked at her lips and wanted to taste them. Her eyes were greener than normal, than ever. I told her as such.

I kissed her.

I thought she'd send me to the floor like she usually did, but she pressed herself against me. She was shorter than Elena and Caroline, though curvier than the both of them. I teased her with my tongue and tasted the heat of her mouth. I pressed myself against her and felt her writhe slightly. I'd been wrong about the prude comment.

And here I was, staring at the stars. My mother had taught me all of the constellations and I remembered them just to stay close to her. It had been days since I'd pressed Bonnie against that wall and years since I'd tasted anything so pure. She'd been using her magic, probably doing the spells I'd killed that witch in England for. I could feel her magic deep inside of me like a hum from a harp, thrumming through my veins and giving me breath I didn't need.

Nothing was coming from either side of the street. This highway was dead.

Somehow, I wound up at Ric's. He opened the door and saw my ripped shirt and shook his head.

"Who won?" He asked, closing the door behind me.

I shrugged. "Had to be there."

"Looking at you, I'm glad I wasn't."

I sat on his couch and crossed my ankles. "You got whiskey?"

"That bad huh?" He smiled.

"Bad enough."

Alaric poured us both a glass and sat in the chair next to his window. I liked his place, it wasn't big and overly spacious like the boarding house. Apartments always appealed to my inner nomad. The thought of packing everything and just leaving made so much sense to me. I never needed a house.

"Do we need to have the talk again?" he asked.

"No we don't need to have the talk again."

"It's looking like we need to have the talk again."

"We don't need to have the fucking talk again, Ric."

He held up his hands. "I'm just saying, you're angry and you're going to break one of my best glasses."

I loosened my grip. "Sorry."

"Right." He said. "What exactly happened?"

"I snapped."

"I figured. What made you do it though?"

"Stefan and Elena are back together." I sighed.

Ric's eyebrows shot up. "That's an interesting development."

I didn't respond.

"Can you say you're shocked?" he asked.

"I was getting closer." I told him.

"No you weren't. You were moving towards a girl whose boyfriend turned into an asshole to save her life."

"She loves me, Alaric. I'm not stupid."

Ric sighed. "Say she does love you. Then what? She's still in love with Stefan, Damon. That's not changing."

"I thought I said I didn't need the speech." I said.

"Tough shit, you're getting it." Ric went on. "You're wasting your time, Damon. She loves him, really loves him. They have more history."

"History is nothing these days." I said. "You can have history today and chemistry tomorrow. You're a teacher, you should know that."

"I also know, as a man, when it's a lost cause. Elena isn't easily swayed. The amount of work you put in to even get as far as you have should speak for itself. When it's real, it isn't work. You're not picking up or off the scraps of someone's relationship. It's yours."

"She kissed me."

He kept going. "Again, an emotionally sensitive girl was going through a rough patch with her boyfriend and found comfort elsewhere. That's not love, it's solace."

I wouldn't look at him. I felt stupid.

Ric sighed. "Look, I'm going the bed. The couch is yours if you want it, but let me ask you something. You're a vampire. You've lived, outlived, and will over live. Do you really want the most interesting thing about you to be a feud your brother's already won? Twice?"

He patted me on the shoulder and went back to his room.

As I lay back on the couch, my thoughts wandered. Alaric's point was valid, as it usually was. How long was I going to pine over a girl who may or may not have feelings for me? How long was I going to love a girl who didn't know what she wanted? How far was I willing to push the already hectic relationship with my brother?

What did I want for myself?

I licked my lips and my thoughts wandered to Bonnie. What the hell was that? I'd gone from avoiding her, to shaming her, to making out with her all in the span of five minutes. I could still feel the way she pressed herself against me, still taste her in my mouth. Whiskey gets rid of a lot, but it wasn't getting me away from that.

Strangely enough, I didn't want it to.

The next day, I went home. It was a school day which meant the Scooby gang was occupied and well away from me. The house was still a wreck when I came home, which meant Stefan had either spent the night at Elena's or decided I was cleaning it up since I started it. Understandable either way.

I straightened the chair in the and returned it to its rightful place in the living room. I swept up the broken glass and picked up all the books. I cleaned up the bottle of bourbon and that about what it'd interrupted. Every time I passed that spot in the hall, I stared for five or more seconds. I moved around the house righting everything and pulling the place together. Cleaning was a pretty good outlet which was probably why Stefan and I were neat freaks. Him more so than me though, I didn't care about the state of my bed.

By the time the house was clean, everything was thrown away and put back in place, I was bored. I hated when I didn't have anything to do. I couldn't leave because Elena might be attacked. I couldn't do anything because Mystic Falls was a shit pit town with nothing more than a tour on things I already knew about. Alaric was teaching so the Grill was out. I didn't eat human food so the Grill was definitely out. I was avoiding the inevitable and I knew it. I picked up my phone and texted the only person I could really take right now.

_The Forest. After School._

**A/N: Sooo I decided to write a Damon POV. The only reason I did was because I promised I would write when he had a reason to be heard. And after last chapter, he did. Mainly I wrote this so that everyone could get a look inside of the head of MY Damon. Still Very much in love with Elena, but definitely feeling something else. Also, is it just me or did Ma Salvatore never make it into the series. If she did my bad. If she didn't well…there you go. I'm not making this a chapter because I still want this to be very much a Bonnie story. Not saying Damon won't get a chapter, but like I said, when he needs one he'll get one. My Damon is hard on the outside because of the things he's gone through. I think on the show, how he is with Elena, like when she tried to kill herself and they were in her bedroom afterwards, I think THAT'S the real Damon. That's how I'm going to write him at least. Anyway, I hope you guys liked this. If not, I'm NEVER doing another one again lol. I just wrote this because he was speaking to me and I wanted to write his thoughts. That, and I wanted there to be some fact to him and not just what bonnie interprets. Know what I mean? Chapter 9 coming soon!**


	10. Summon

**A/N: You didn't think I was gone did you?**

**Silly rabbit.**

Chapter Ten: Summon

Somehow I'd ended right back at square one. I wasn't talking to my best friends, I didn't want to talk to them, and I wasn't sure I trusted them emotionally. For the past two days, I did nothing but avoid them the best way I could, but it was hard considering we had two classes together. I didn't eat lunch at school, I didn't go to the junior hangout during my free period.. I stared off into space and actually caught myself doing it. I was slow to respond to people and quick to lose my touch with reality. I barely listened, I only stared.

I shouldn't have come to school today.

Falling back into a rut shouldn't have been as comfortable as it was. Without the distraction of having to pretend everything was fine, I could actually focus on the things I wanted. I had more time for spells, I had more time to think, and I just had more time in general. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't peaceful. The only thing that sucked about the whole situation was the disruption of normalcy. That feeling in my stomach whenever I saw Caroline or Elena in the hallway, or the tense feeling whenever we sat in our seats in class.

I ignored the text messages from Stefan asking me what had happened. If he wanted to find out, Elena would tell him sooner or later. If not her, then definitely Caroline. It started to irritate me that I couldn't even have a fight with my best friends anymore without a vampire having to question it. It irritated me even more that he was the source of our argument and didn't even know it.

The feeling of being disconnected with the rest of my friends was starting to set in again. It wasn't something that I initially welcomed, but the familiarity of it made things easier. We all considered ourselves close, but lately I felt like it had more to do with life or death experiences than anything else. On some level, I knew the whole thing had been super dramatic. Real thoughts and feelings became magnified and blurted without any cautionary thought, but the fact still remained that it had been real. What hurt even more was that the only person who'd really been upfront with me the entire time was the one person I couldn't stand.

I sat on the bleachers outside of the gym and took my bad grade for not dressing out. I watched the girls in my class struggle with volleyball. I saw Caroline and Elena run around the track and ignored their gazes by pretending to read The Catcher In The Rye again. I blinked away the burning in my eyes and tried to ignore my own thoughts. I couldn't shake the feeling that maybe that wasn't all that had been said about me. I couldn't stop thinking that, for some reason, maybe I'd been a better friend to the both of them than they'd ever been to me. Thinking like that hurt more than I could handle and the sky began to gray with my mood.

Jeremy was beside me. "You know, maybe if you try hard enough, you could give Mystic Falls its first tornado."

I shook my head. "It'd be the third. The first one happened back in the fifties. The second one happened in the seventies."

"I'm not surprised you know that." He smiled.

I shrugged. "Someone has to."

He took his bag off and put it between his legs. "I haven't seen you in a while."

"I haven't wanted to be seen."

He nodded. "Want to talk about it?"

"No thanks." I said.

"Sucks for you." He said, snatching my book out of my hands.

"Jer, seriously?"

"Please," He flipped through the pages. "You've read this book at least a million times."

I folded my arms. "I'm not in the mood."

He put his feet up and leaned back. "And I've got an entire free period."

I felt my annoyance rising. "I want to be alone."

"You've been alone for days now." He said. "It doesn't look like things have gotten any better."

"Maybe I'm doing it wrong." I told him.

"No, you've pretty much avoided all contact with your friends, but unlike the rest of them I'm sick of the shit and want Bonnie back."

" Can I have my book back?"

"You know, I remember when Vikki died." He went on. "I hated everything. I didn't go to parties because I knew she wouldn't be there. I went to our secret stash, got all the weed and pills I could find and tried to off myself. Turns out I couldn't even do that right. I ended up passing out in the woods and waking up pissed off all over again."

"But then there was this really short girl with flowers on her shirts that wouldn't let me do it. She never made me feel like what I was feeling was stupid. She never judged me for any of the things I told her about me and the girl I liked. She sat there, she listened, and she didn't let me sit around and mope all the time."

"She sounds stuck between awesome and annoying." I said.

"Sometimes, but she was there for me when I needed her to be. Even when I didn't want to admit it to myself."

I shook my head. "Maybe I should've encouraged it."

"Whoa. Where did that come from?"

"I don't know." I said, suddenly tired of the conversation. "Can I have-"

"Ask me for this book again and it goes in my pants." Jeremy said in a serious tone.

I sighed. "I know what you're trying to do, but it's not helping."

"I don't want it to help. I want you to talk. How long did you think I was going to let you walk around like a robot?"

"I wasn't aware you were letting me do anything."

"Shows how much you pay attention." He said. "I'm not stupid. I know something happened between you, Elena, and Caroline. What was it?"

I looked at him. "Are you really not going to let this go?"

"Would you?"

Jeremy was patient as I tried to find the words. "Am I judgmental?"

"Highly." He said.

Ouch. "Good to know. Conversation over."

"Hear me out." He said. "It's not a bad thing."

"That's not what I've heard."

"Have you ever noticed that you aren't being judgmental until the other person gets offended?" he asked.

"Not really."

"From what I've seen, the word gets used wrong. Judging means that you're just stating what you think, critical or otherwise. It's where you stand on something, you know? People get paid to judge, people go to school for it. I don't see that as being a bad thing."

"Condemning, now that's when you're an asshole." Jeremy smiled. "No one gets paid for that. There's no school you can go to and make a career out of it. There's a difference Bonnie, a big one. Maybe you can be too direct sometimes and maybe some people aren't always ready for it, but usually you have a good reason. Anyone who says otherwise doesn't know you."

I nodded. "Do you think I don't live?"

"You look pretty alive to me." Jeremy said.

"You know what I mean."

"I can't answer that. No one can, but you."

I gave him a small smile. "When'd you get so wise?"

Jeremy rolled his eyes. "I'm not that young, Bonnie. I've seen things."

I laughed. "That sounds so ominous. 'I've seen things'."

"Well it's true." He defended himself. "And it's good to see you smile again."

I looked down. "You make it seem like it never happens."

"It's rare these days."

The bell rang.

"Walk you to class?" Jeremy asked.

"You'd be late for your own, wouldn't you?" I stood, gathering my things.

"It's art." He waved it off.

"You like art." I said as we headed down the bleachers.

"Which is why I can skip it every now and then. I'm already ahead of everybody, showing up every day would make me a douche bag."

"Make?" I raised my eyebrows.

"And the sense of humor comes back full force, I see."

When we got to the bottom, Jeremy reached out a hand to help me down and I took it even though I didn't need it. I also didn't take my hand away when he decided to hold on to it. It felt nice to have had someone who knew me just enough to tell me what I needed to hear, but was removed enough from the situation to not be biased.

By the time we reached my Chemistry class, I was actually kind of bummed out to see Jeremy go. The entire way to class, he'd filled me in on the update with the Green Lantern and DC Comics' decision to make him gay. When I asked if it was canon or not, he told me nothing ever was in comics. A part of me figured that, if I wanted to, I could always just skip class with him, but I decided against it. He'd gotten me back to fully functional, I needed to keep myself there.

Before we separated though, he squeezed my hand and looked down. "I have something to ask you."

"Could you look at me when you do?" I joked.

His eyes shot up to mine and the tips of his ears went red. "Would it be weird if we hung out sometime? You know, just us?"

My wall went up out of habit. "You don't have to supervise me, Jer. I'm okay."

"No, no." He shook his head. "I just meant that…well, it was really cool just talking to you and being with you. I wanted to do it again."

I blinked. Twice.

"You know, it's okay." Jeremy dropped my hand. "Forget I said anything."

I was still staring when he nodded. I was blinking when he turned around. Jeremy had asked me out, sort of. I mean, it wasn't like I didn't know what dating was or when someone wanted to do it with me, I wasn't that far under a rock. I didn't think.

"Yes!" I semi blurted.

Jeremy was back in front of me in two strides.

"I mean, yeah. Sure we can hang out." I clarified. I didn't know if my defenses were ready for the actual word "date", especially with Jeremy, but I could hang out. I was good at that.

He smiled. "Cool."

"Yeah."

Damn this was awkward.

The late bell rang and I went into my Chemistry class. It didn't occur to me until after I sat down that neither of us had said when was a good time for us to do anything. Then I let it go. Jeremy had asked, so I was assuming he'd text me whenever. I fought hard to keep the smile off my face and I like to think I won.

Thirty minutes into class and my phone vibrated.

_The Woods. After school._

Damon. The message was from Damon. I hadn't seen, heard from, or even thought about him since that night when we…I didn't want to think about it. Even though I hadn't been able to get the events of that night out of my mind, everything about that whole day kept me from over analyzing it too much. The both of us had been drinking and were emotional. The kiss happened because he was out of control and I wanted to lose it. It wasn't the worst thing to happen when Damon got emotional.

I stared at the text message for ten seconds before finally deciding to ignore it. Practicing magic could wait. The weird discussion about what happened and what it didn't mean could wait too. I was still pretty annoyed with Damon for ignoring me after the last time we'd been in the woods and I was more than pissed off about the things he'd said to me in the boarding house. Kiss or not, it didn't excuse his actions. Whatever he had to teach me could wait until _I _was ready.

It was raining by the time I got home. The inside of my house was warm and inviting and smelled like the incense I'd been burning lately. My dad had sent me a text message during lunch telling me he would be gone for another week, something about failed deliveries and unsigned documents, but that he hoped I was having a good time at Caroline's. It took me a second to catch it, but then I realized Caroline had covered for me and somehow convinced my father that I was staying with her. I told him I loved him and I'd see him when he got back.

After I changed my clothes, I got the spell book and sat back down on the kitchen floor. Since the incident with Caroline, I'd decided to actually read the spells and make my own notes about them before I actually tried them. Turns out the spell for sunlight I'd done would only work in the presence of a vampire. While it didn't explain why it worked despite her wearing a daylight ring, I kept it in my notes anyway.

There were symbols in the book as well, ancient ones that would work in case I could speak an incantation. The one for light looked like an exploding star. The one for sunlight looked like a sun. There were protection symbols that could ward a house from vampires completely, where they couldn't even come to the doorstep, though the design of the symbol was intricate. I shrugged to myself. If I couldn't do it, maybe Jeremy could while I chanted the incantation.

I smiled when I thought about him again. Even though I was still sketchy about his past with Anna, I was still kind of glad that he'd asked me out. I couldn't exactly remember when the dynamic between us had shifted into something more…complicated, but it wasn't a bad thing at all. As a matter of fact, it was pretty comforting that it was happening with someone I already knew. I could be myself without having to worry about what to keep and what to show. Jeremy and I had a lot of the same interests, even though his bordered more on the aesthetics aspect. I knew he and I could talk about anything if I wanted to, and I knew he wouldn't be distracted by the thought of getting in my pants that he'd actually listen.

Someone was at my door.

No sooner than I'd thought it, my doorbell rang. I hadn't been expecting anybody, but it wasn't unlike people to just drop by. I tried to get a sense of who it was through my magic, but something was blocking it. The only thing I was really certain of was that the person at the door was human. Undeniably human. As a matter of fact, the word _undeniably_ actually went through my head as I opened the door.

He was tall and dark blonde with shoulders that could put Tyler to shame. His eyes were a flashing green as he looked me over, a smile played on his lips. I found myself smiling back.

"Hey, I'm having some car trouble." He said, pointing to the silver car behind him. "Do you have a phone I can use?"

A voice in my head told me not to let him in, but the voice got smaller and smaller the more I stared at him. "Sure, it's just over here."

He stepped inside of my house and immediately something felt off. A rush of power came with him that was so strong I turned around so he wouldn't see me struggle to catch my breath. I pointed to the phone in the hallway and followed him as he walked to it.

He shivered as he looked at the water he was trailing. "I'm sorry about that. I can clean it up."

"It's fine," I said. Too eager to help. "I'll go get a towel."

I got one of the guest towels out of the closet in the hall and put it on the floor where he stood. He picked up the phone and dialed a number, waiting patiently as it rang.

He looked around. "You have a nice house."

I nodded and cleared my throat. "Thanks."

Something was going on, but I couldn't figure it out. It was like a disruption, no an infection. It was that feeling you got right before you got sick with the flu the next day. My chest had a weird feeling it, my throat felt tighter.

"You know my grandfather had a clock like that." He said. "It's from the seventies right?"

I folded my arms and leaned against the wall. "Umm, yeah. Nineteen seventy two, I think."

He smiled and nodded. "I thought so."

There was something about him that was off, but I couldn't place it. My magic was shifting inside of me, fighting something I couldn't see. Whenever I started to question why I let this random guy in my house, a warm calm feeling would come out of nowhere. As soon as I forgot my mistrustfulness, I could feel my magic come back full force. It was like flashing between hot and cold and it was wearing me out. I knew not to take my eyes off the guy though, that part I was certain of.

He picked up the phone and looked at me. "Hey are you alright?"

"I'm fine." I said waving it off. "You should hurry. Mystic Falls isn't where you want to have car trouble."

He smiled. "It looks pretty nice here. Like one of those towns where nothing ever happens."

"Looks can be deceiving." I said.

"Yeah," the veins traveled up his eyes and forehead. "I know."

And then he was on me, knocking me backwards and throwing me into my front door. I tried to get to my feet, but the rush of power swept at me again, and I was back on the floor.

"A Bennett witch." He said, cocking his head and coming closer. "I've heard such great things about you."

A vampire. I'd invited a vampire into my home.

Thinking was starting to feel like walking through quicksand. The more I tried to focus on him, the hazier everything got. A pulsing started in my temples as whatever power he was wielding kept me rooted to the floor. Power? Vampires didn't have magic the last time I checked. Witches lost their magic when they became vampires, it was the law of nature. You couldn't possess something that required life and be dead. It just didn't work.

"They said you'd be powerful," he said. "Not easily fooled. As a matter of fact, I'd been warned when I signed up for this little mission."

I tried calling the vase from the living room to hit him over the head, but I only heard it wobble on the table. I narrowed my eyes to try inflicting pain on him like I did Damon, but that didn't work either. Something about him was dulling my magic and keeping me from using it. It was like the harder I tried, the more I couldn't use it and the weaker I became. I was breathing harder and sweat formed on my forehead. What the hell was happening to me?

"H-how are you-"

"How am I what?" He cut me off. "Keeping you from using some of that famous magic? My blood is spelled. The more magic you use on me, the weaker you become. Kind of ironic, don't you think?"

The vampire grabbed my leg and pulled me under him, laughing at my struggles and turning me onto my back.

"Rebekah told me not to bite you unless it was absolutely necessary." The vampire said. "I think I can come up with something don't you?"

The closer he got to me, the farther I wished I could move, but nothing happened. I lay there, powerless and motionless against a vampire who'd somehow tricked me into letting him in my house. I felt stupid beyond measure, and weaker beyond that. I cringed as the vampire sank his fangs into my neck. Damon was somewhere shaking his head and rolling his eyes…

Damon.

I clung to the thought of him and pushed my magic at him. A road was coming into view in my mind, somewhere close by. He was driving, making a left turn not too far from my house. I focused my magic on him, I calmed my mind as best as I could given the circumstances, and focused on Damon.

_Help me._

He snapped out of whatever thought he'd been in and looked around. "Bennett?"

_Vampire. My house. _

Damon whipped his car around and sped in the direction towards my house. His speed was dictated by the urgency of my magic, his mind was telling me to stay calm and stay with him. All I could think about was what it really felt like to be fed on. I felt like a Capri Sun in the summer, having the life sucked out of me as the vampire lapped at my blood. In my mind I saw Damon park at a house about a block down. I saw him rip a piece of wood off a fence in the house's yard. The world around me turned into a blur as he began to run. Closer, closer, closer.

I heard a shift in the air, a whooshing sound, and saw the vampire fly off of me in two seconds.

As soon as he was off of me, I began to scoot backwards. The closer I got to the door, the better. Damon was there on my porch waiting for me, his eyes never leaving the vampire in the hall. When I got close enough Damon helped me stand against the door and put his hand on my neck.

It was all I needed.

Suddenly my magic flared to life and I was thinking clearly. My neck stung, but the rage I felt after having been attacked dimmed it. I narrowed my eyes at the vampire who had a piece of fence sticking out of his shoulder and threw as much pain as I could at him. His back arched with his screams and his nose streamed blood. I moved my hand up and placed it on top of Damon's, feeling my magic amplify at the coolness of his palm.

"Invite me in." Damon said.

I shook my head. My neck hated me. "No."

"You have to." He said in a soft voice. "Or are you going to kill him with the door open?"

It wasn't until he said it, that I realized he was right. The vampire in the hall was screaming too loud. He'd draw out my neighbors.

"Come in." I said.

It was like the air sighed around Damon as he stepped into my home. I expected him to say something sarcastic, but he didn't. He closed the door behind him.

"Get him up." He told me.

I put my arm out towards the vampire and raised it slowly. He rose off the floor, torso bent backwards, and hung suspended in the air like a doll. When I clenched my fist, his back snapped forward and a sick crunching sound filled the air. He coughed blood onto the hardwood floor.

Damon folded his arms. "What's your name?"

The vampire spit in his face. "Fuck you!"

Damon used his middle finger and wiped the corner of his eye. "Bonnie, get the nice vampire's name."

I twisted my fist in one hard jerk. The vampire screamed again.

"Colin!" He wailed. "My name is Colin!"

"Rebekah sent him." I said, voice shaky.

"Ah," Damon said. "My least favorite Original. Tell me, why did she send you?"

"She'll kill me if I tell you." Colin said.

"And I'm going to kill you regardless. Fast or slow, it's your choice."

Colin looked at me, eyes glossy. "I'm supposed to bring her to Klaus."

"Why?" Damon beat me to it.

"I don't know." Colin said.

"I don't know if I believe you Colin. I mean you attacked a witch and don't know why? You can't be that stupid."

"They don't tell us anything!" Colin said. "Klaus said something about a Bennett witch and he told Rebekah to handle it. That's where I came in."

Damon nodded. "We're getting warmer. Tell me. Where are Rebekah and Klaus?"

The vampire struggled. "I can't tell you."

"Can't or won't?" I hissed, twisting my fist again.

Damon grabbed Colin by his hair and jerked his head backwards. "He's compelled. He can't tell us anything."

I looked at Damon. "What do you want to do with him?"

Damon smirked. "It's not what I want to do, it's what you're going to do."

He stepped behind Colin and grabbed his arms. His other hand yanked the piece of fence out of Colin's shoulder and tossed it on the floor towards me.

"Stake him." Damon's voice was cool and direct.

I looked at the piece of wood on the floor, covered in blood, and suddenly I felt weird. I'd never staked a vampire before and I'd never had the option to do so. Usually that was everyone else's expertise, while man was magic.

Damon nodded at me. "You can do this, Bonnie. Focus."

I took a deep breath and focused on the piece of wood. It floated like I thought it would and I twisted it on its side, point aimed. I could see the fear in Colin's eyes as he saw his impending death. I could feel the magic inside of him that fought against everything.

One last thing. "You said your blood was spelled. Who spelled it?"

"What?" Colin asked.

"The witch who spelled your blood. Who was it?"

"Jonas." He said. "Jonas Martin."

My body ran cold.

I saw Damon move and then his fist shot through the left side of Colin's chest. Colin's face went ashen as veins blossomed over it, then Damon pulled his hand out. He tossed the heart on the floor.

"Jonas Martin. Stefan killed him."

I thought so too. I'd heard his neck snap, just before he returned my magic. I remembered his last words in my ear. How was he alive? Moreover, how was he alive and had magic. That defied every law imaginable.

Damon stepped around the body, flinging blood off his hand. "I thought witches couldn't come back from the dead."

Again, I'd thought that too. Once a witch died, nature took the body and used the energies to keep balance. It was what Grams had taught me. It was what I read in all the books.

"You summoned me." Damon said as he got closer. "I didn't know you could do that."

Neither had I. I'd just wanted to him to come and help me, I hadn't expected it to be that intense. It was like the connection between what I wanted and what he did was so intense he couldn't deny it. I knew it because I'd felt it.

Damon put his hands on my shoulders. "Bonnie, snap out of it."

I wanted to, but there was so much going through my head. I wasn't as powerful as I thought, was the first thing. A vampire had tricked me and come into my home. While yeah, he'd had magical assistance, I still should've picked up on something sooner. The wards on my house were powerful enough to detect vampires, but not witches and other magic. The second thing was that I'd summoned a century old vampire. I'd called he'd come. The third thing was that there was a witch more powerful than I would ever be working with a vampire that was powerful than all the ones here and, for some reason or another, wanted us dead.

And Damon now had access to my house.

I stepped away from him and ran my fingers through my hair. Way too much was going down at one time. I could feel myself pacing, but Damon stopped me.

"Calm down." He said.

"Calm down?" I whirled on him. "What the fuck do you mean, calm down?"

"There's my word again." He smirked.

"Damon!"

"Look, what is getting riled up going to do?" He asked. "You've got a vampire who wants to kill your best friend, a witch who could potentially want to help kill you, and a dead vampire in your hall. You can either lose your shit now, or you can find something for me to wrap his body in. Your choice."

I stood there glaring at him, but he wasn't phased. Actually he looked bored. That was what kicked me back into gear.

"There's an old rug upstairs, it was my mom's. My dad hates it."

"That'll work."

**A/N: *Taps Mic* Hi you guys. Sooo does this count as a filler? I feel like it does. Anyway, Sorry it took me so long to update but a lot has gone down since I last wrote you guys. I moved, I worked, I went out of town, I visited friends and their kids, it was just a lot going on. Also, I was blocked. Majorly. And so I figured rather than just submit complete shit to you guys (hopefully you all don't think this is shit *sad face*) I just took a break. Did some living. Also, I dug up one of my favorite characters, Jonas. I'm sorry, but he's hot. Really hot. Sue me. All will be explained in time, yadda, yadda, yadda. OH! And Jeremy! Idk, I like Jeremy. He's cute and adorable and likes Bonnie. Sorry for those who thought that Damon and Bonnie were going to get to it. I tried writing it like that, I really did, but it didn't feel real and it didn't work out. They're getting closer though, they totally double teamed a vampire together. Also, we're getting closer to why Bonnie can summon Damon and he can feel her use magic. I have a really good reason for that, I swear. AND due to the love for Damon's POV, I've decided that that will be chapter Nine. Anyway, thank you guys so much for sticking with the story (if you did. I really haven't been gone that long.) and thanks to all the new readers! Read and Review!**


	11. Brave

**A/N: Keeping it moving of course.**

Chapter Eleven: Brave

Helping Damon get rid of Colin's body happened in flashes. I remember bringing the rug my mother liked downstairs and unrolling it. I didn't feel bad because my father had been trying to sell it for years and it was clear my mother wasn't coming back for it. Personally, I didn't feel one way or the other about it. After the rug was on the floor, Damon pretty much took care of the rest. The body and the heart were both rolled inside. Damon went and got his car from up the block and parked it as far back as he could.

"Why did you park so far away?" I asked.

He picked up Colin's torso. "If I'd parked in your driveway, he'd have heard me and gotten away. Grab his legs."

Logical. "Where are you going to bury him?"

Damon looked at me. "Do you really want to know?"

I found that I didn't.

Though I was pretty sure Damon didn't need me to do anything regarding the disposal of Colin's body, I did it anyway. The trunk was open when we walked through my backyard to the hidden part of the driveway, and with one big heave, and a stumble on my part, Colin was inside of Damon's trunk. He pushed me softly back towards the house and slammed the trunk closed.

"Pack some things." He told me.

"What? Why?" I asked.

"The originals want you, for whatever reason." Damon said."There's a witch out there spelling vampires so that they can get inside your house. Using magic to bewitch you is one thing, using magic to make it so that a vampire can get inside, period, is next."

"No one else has an invitation except you." I pointed out. "And no one else is getting one."

"Another witch's magic was inside your house without the witch itself. Your house is your power base. Even if Colin had gotten inside, the spell on him should've broken immediately just for that reason. From what I could tell, it didn't. My guess is that Jonas probably planned on Colin being killed here. Your house barely smells like your magic right now. You aren't staying here."

I stared at him as he walked around to the front of the car. "Go in the house and stay there. Lock everything. I'll be back in three hours."

The engine of his nineteen whatever roared loudly and then he disappeared out of my driveway. I ran into my house and closed the door, locking it and all but screaming protection and warding spells. Even though I was covering my house in all of the basic defense magic I knew, I still didn't feel safe. After pacing a circle in my living room, I went into the kitchen and grabbed the cleaning supplies.

Pine Sol washed the smell of dead vampire out of the hall. I scrubbed the blood out of the floor and scrubbed harder for it to get out of the walls. I didn't know if I should be glad that the mess had only been contained to one area, or pissed that there was a mess in general. I'd been careless, no, I'd been stupid. I should've never answered my door in the first place. It wasn't like I was expecting anybody, and I knew I didn't recognize the signature of the aura when I got to the door.

I wrung the sponge out and dipped it back into the water.

The more I thought about it, the worse I felt. Sure it happened to the best of us, but I knew better. What did you say to that? What would've happened to me if Damon hadn't been so close? What would've happened if my magic hadn't reached him? I was back to square one with more than just my friends, my magic had failed me.

No, I'd failed it.

Fear rendered me useless. Damon could give me all the training in the world, but if I kept succumbing to fear, I'd be dead either way. I scrubbed harder and harder with my anger at myself, pushing the sponge and working my arms so fast they burned. The blood was long gone, but I was still scrubbing at the floor and the walls, still scrubbing away at my weakness. I cleaned the kitchen, the downstairs bathroom, I wiped down all the wood in the living room. I vacuumed the hallway rug with a vengeance. I was angry, I was mad, I was-

A knock stopped me.

It was Damon, had it really been three hours?

He looked around. "Did you pack?"

I shook my head. "No. I'm staying here."

I'd made the decision while he was gone. I wasn't going to run from anything. That last bastard had gotten the best of me, but nothing else would.

Damon rolled his eyes.

"Thanks for helping me today."

"No problem." His voice was dry.

I grabbed the door and pulled it forward. He used his hand to stop it.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"You aren't staying here." His voice was final.

And I didn't care. "Yes, I am."

"Why, so something else can try to kill you?" he asked. "No. Pack some shit and let's go."

"I'm. Not. Leaving." I told him. "If something else wants to try, let it."

I turned around and headed into the kitchen. The lights flipped on and the sink started itself. I was beyond pissed off, heading right into rage. I didn't even want to see another vampire let alone leave with one. My hands shook as I dumped the water outside and headed towards the sink clean the bucket. Damon twisted the knob slowly, turning the water off.

"Damon get out of my way."

He only looked at me.

I didn't have the patience for this. "I already thanked you for saving me. What else do you want?"

"Funny, you thanked me and yet all I'm getting is misplaced anger." He pointed out.

I turned out of the kitchen and walked towards the front door. "You can leave now."

"Actually, I kind of like it in here." He said as he looked around. "High ceilings, nice remodeling, stainless steel appliances."

"Get out, Damon."

He was walking toward me now. "A paint job could do these walls justice. Off white gets kind of plain after awhile, even though everyone thinks it goes with everything."

"Damon get the hell out of my house." I hissed.

"Those couches would have to go too." He went on. "I'm more of a black leather guy myself. Colored furniture was never really my thing."

"I don't care what your thing is. Get. Out. Of. My. House."

He was in front of me in seconds. "You know if you were even half this angry when that vampire was sinking his fangs into your neck," he touched my neck for emphasis. "You probably wouldn't have needed to beg for help."

I slapped him. Hard.

Damon licked the inside of his bottom lip and nodded. Then he grabbed me by my arm and was pulling me upstairs. I pulled against him and struggled as hard as I could, but I couldn't break free of him. I shouted at him to let me go and I could hear him chuckling as I did. _Bastard vampire._

He got to my room and opened the door. No sooner than I felt terrified about him actually being able to enter it, did he throw me into room so hard I stumbled forward and landed on my bed. I stood and whirled around.

My cheerleading duffle bag hit me in the face. "Pack a bag, Bennett."

"Fuck you." I said so low it vibrated in my chest.

"Not while you're this angry." Damon folded his arms. "Pack."

I threw the bag down and headed towards the door behind him. He kicked it closed and locked it.

"I don't have time for this." I shouted at him.

"Really?" he asked. "Got somewhere else to be? Here I was thinking you were too busy being fed on in the hallway. I didn't know you had other plans."

Pain. I wanted to inflict pain on him. I wanted Damon to suffer for the shit he was saying to me, for the shit he always said to me. I was so angry, I could feel my face getting hotter. A pulse throbbed in my temples and beat with my magic. Damon needed to leave, seriously.

Now.

"Damon." I tried. "Please just leave. It's not-"

"Oh shut up." He rolled his eyes. "Save that shit for someone who cares about your wants. I'm not going to leave you here in danger, no matter what you think. Stop bitching and moaning and pack a goddamn bag."

"I'm sick of you talking to me like that." I said to him. "I'm sick of you always talking to me like I'm a child."

"You are a fucking child." He spat. "Getting mad and lashing out when someone tries to do you a fucking favor. Children do that shit. Weak people do that shit."

_Snapping_.

"You think you can take on anything because you're pissed off? You haven't learned shit. You're still that same little girl with her nose in the air and a legacy she can't handle. That vampire made an asshole out of you today and had I known it was that easy for him to do it, I never would've saved you."

_Snapped_.

It was like my room was caught in a tornado, so much of everything was flying around. Damon knocked away things that flew at his head with ease, keeping his eyes only on me. I raised swung my arm and sent my magic at him, shoving him against the wall. My hair floated around my head and whipped at my face. The sound of wind was so strong in my ears it was deafening. I focused on Damon's chest, right over his heart, and pictured that spark I'd touched in the woods that day.

Damon planted his feet flat against the wall and shoved himself away from it. The whole movement looked like someone inside of an anti gravity chamber, and it probably would've been hilarious some other time.

Damon collided with me and took me to the floor. As soon as he touched me, it was like everything in my room wanted to kill him. Drawers from my vanity popped out and hit him in the head. My old baseball bat from the softball team I'd been on during the summer flung itself at him. I wanted him to pay for saying what he'd said to me. I wanted him to suffer for being so right.

"You think you're the only one who's ever been scared?" he shouted at me. "You think you're the only one who's lost their own strength?"

A hot stinging burned in the corners of my eyes. I wanted him to shut up.

"We've all done it Bonnie!" he kept shouting. "In one way or another, we've all been there. You think you're so special that you get to blame yourself for what happened to you today? Fine!"

And then he was off me. He tore at the paper that was sticking to him and brushed off the other random things that had blown on him. Damon's jaw was clenched so hard it twitched as he stared me in my eyes.

"Sit here and blame yourself." He said. "Think about what you could've done better, think about what you shouldn't have done, and beat yourself up about it. Analyze and run it over and over again in your mind. When it's over, ask yourself if you can go back in time and change it, then grow the hell up when you realize you can't."

He slammed my door as he left.

The wind in my room died down and all of the noise came to a stop. I inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly, closing my eyes against the anger I felt. I didn't think about what Damon said, I didn't think about what I felt, I just breathed. I let my mind escape everything that had happened in the past two hours and lay motionless on the floor until my fists uncurled and my shoulders didn't feel so tense.

When I sat up, there was a pressure in my temples and a tingling in my shoulder. After a few seconds of looking around my wrecked room, I slowly reached for the duffle bag Damon had thrown at me. I used my bed to get to my feet and stepped over my old pompoms. I got a few sweat shirts, tank tops, an old green flannel shirt a few pairs of jeans, and my favorite pair of Converse sneakers. I grabbed underwear and the travel kit I used sometimes when my dad wanted me to visit him on his trips. I picked up all of the papers, made my bed, and cleaned as much as I could.

I knew Damon would still be outside when I got downstairs, but seeing it made me feel…better. He'd been standing against the car with the trunk open and his arms folded, nodding when he saw my bag.

"Just a couple of days." He said.

He took the bag from me and put it in his trunk. When he closed it, he walked around to the driver side as I got in passenger side. I stared straight ahead as he pulled out of my driveway and headed down my street, listening to the sounds of the car.

As Damon pulled onto the main street that went throughout Mystic Falls, I let my mind wander. A vampire had gotten into my house and, while that still pissed me off to no end, he'd had help. Help from someone who probably bore a huge grudge against me for what had happened to his son.

Someone who'd been killed because of me.

Well not directly. He'd grabbed me to restore my magic to me, I'd still been sketchy on how he'd taken it, and to tell me how to kill Klaus. Stefan had thought what anyone else would've, and acted the same way. I'd heard the snap and I'd seen the body. As his magic returned my own, I'd felt him die. It wasn't something I'd told anyone before, but it'd happened. It was common amongst witches whose powers had interacted with each other. It was a cold feeling, one that went down the spin and tingled between the shoulder blades.

It'd been worse when Grams died.

The point was that, having felt him die, him being alive was impossible. Him being alive _with magic_ was even more impossible than that. It was something that was unheard of, a violation of the worst kind. The only encounter with an immortal I'd ever known was my own great aunt, and even her being alive was debatable. She appeared alive, but died a little every day. Her magic had been saturated into her house. It had permeated the air and sank into the walls. She may have been alive, but she was bound to that house. Was Jonas bound somewhere with Klaus and Rebekah? Had they found some way to cheat death like their mother had?

Damon made a left and continued down the street. I knew where he was going.

"Not Elena's." I said in a monotone voice.

He turned and looked at me. "Why not?"

"We had a fight. I'm not ready to be around her."

I expected him to say something along the lines of "get over it", but he didn't.

"Caroline's then." He said.

"I almost burned her alive." I said. "I don't really want to be around her either. Besides, she'll end up calling Elena and trying to help us work it out."

"You almost burned her alive?" Damon smiled. "How?"

"A sunlight spell from the book you gave me."

"She wasn't wearing her daylight ring?"

I nodded. "She never takes it off. It's probably the reason she wasn't burned to death."

"You didn't tell me that." He said.

"I came to, but it happened the same day you fought Stefan."

Damon pulled over on the side of the street. "Is there anyone you do want to be around?"

"Not really."

"We've got rooms at the boarding house." He said.

"Everything can get in the boarding house, Damon." I pointed out. "Even the Originals."

He shook his head. "After you had your vision, we had Elena sign the deed again. The house is hers."

"Why isn't she staying there?" I asked. "It'd be easier to keep an eye on her."

"It's only for emergencies." Damon replied. "Besides, you know how she is. She grew up there, family memories, doesn't want to leave Jeremy. All that shit."

That sounded like her. I sighed. "I don't really have any other options."

"The house is big enough that you won't see me unless you want to." Damon said.

"What about Stefan?"

Damon shrugged. "He might drop by, he might not. His focus is Elena so that's where he'll be most of the time."

Stepping inside of the boarding house with the intent to stay made the whole place new again. I could notice the ceilings and floors without immediately being rushed into the den. I could appreciate the paintings and classical appeal the place owned. Damon walked past me and up the stairs with my bag, I found that I'd never really paid attention despite that I'd been up there plenty of times.

The bedrooms were still in classic tastes, but the bathrooms had been remodeled. The room Damon led me into was something out of a magazine. Hardwood floors went from wall to wall and gleamed like a Pledge commercial. The bed was so huge it'd take a day for me to crawl to the other side. The cherry oak bedpost curved by the edges and had elaborate designs carved into it. There was a huge window on the left wall of the room that would stream sunlight in and blind me whenever I woke up. The bathroom was dark and modern with marble sink and huge mirror. The shower looked sublime.

I caught sight of my reflection and winced. My hair was a wreck, sticking up in random directions on the sides. My clothes were wrinkled and my shirt was torn by my neck. The puncture wounds on my neck looked hideous on my skin, torn around the edges and stinging the more I looked at them. The blood had dried into a crusty dark patch on my neck, adding to the overall mess that was the left side of my neck. I sighed.

"I could heal that for you." Damon said, leaning in the doorway.

I shook my head. "That's okay."

"You can't walk around with neck wounds, Bonnie. Remember who your friends are."

Again, he was right. The second I showed up to school tomorrow with bite marks on my neck, all bets were off. If I didn't let him do anything about it, I might as well go stay with Elena. After I explained everything, it's where I'd end up anyway.

"Fine." I said.

Damon walked over to me and pushed my hair over to my other shoulder. He tilted my neck a little and frowned at what he saw.

"What?" I asked. "Is something wrong?"

"No." he shook his head. "Just an inexperienced vampire."

I rolled my eyes.

Damon pushed his index finger into his canine and came away with blood. I'd never been too keen on the idea of using blood as a form of healing, but even I could admit it was pretty handy in most cases. Damon touched my neck softly, pausing when I winced, then rubbed his blood into my wounds. His touch was soothing as he rubbed his fingers in circles against my skin. I found myself leaning into it, relaxing as the pain in my neck slowly ebbed away. I leaned against the sink and tried to breathe evenly as a warm feeling started just under my belly button.

He moved his hand.

I opened my eyes and looked at him. His own eyes had darkened, but not in the vampire way. He was so close to me, close enough that I could smell the faint scent of the cologne he wore. I could see where the muscles in his chest strained the black quarter sleeve short he wore. I caught a glimpse of us in the mirror on the wall behind him, and saw that he almost completely eclipsed me. Our feet were almost touching. His jaw was clenching.

I looked back at him. "Thank you."

"No problem." His voice was deeper.

And then his lips were on mine again, just like they'd been that night. It wasn't as urgent this time, neither of us was under an influence. It was soft and curious, exploring each other and testing boundaries. At least that's what it felt like on my end. Kissing a vampire I didn't particularly like, but enjoying the feel of him against me. He was so tall and encompassing, occupying all of the space in front of me. His hand traveled up to the nape of my neck and his thumb brushed my cheek. I couldn't remember putting my hands on his waist, but I could feel them moving just und his shirt and around to his back. I couldn't get over how warm he was, warmer than I thought the dead could be.

Damon stopped and pulled away, eyes searching mine. I let myself fall into the gorgeous blue that was his and found myself wishing he'd kiss me again. I didn't know where the thought came from, but only that I didn't disagree with it.

He stepped away from me. "You should get some rest."

It couldn't have been later than eight thirty. "I'm not tired."

"After the shower, you will be." He smirked.

Damon scratched his head and stepped out of the bathroom. He started listing off things in the house, where the kitchen was, where his room was if I needed him, where the tv was in the den. I only had one question though, and even though I knew I'd sound stupid, I asked it anyway.

"Why did you stop?"

It cut him short. Something passed in his eyes, it was brief but I caught it.

He shrugged. "I've got a bad habit of kissing emotionally sensitive girls. You've been through a lot today."

Damon disappeared from the room and closed the door. I let out a breath I hadn't known I was holding. Granted, I'd been attacked and helped toss a body into a trunk, but I felt fine. Maybe I was still in shock from everything that had happened to me today or maybe my coping skills had gotten better with everything that'd been happening, but I felt fine. I was calm, my neck felt better, and my lips were still tingling from when he kissed me. I could still feel his hand on my neck, still feel him over me. If I was a brave girl, I'd have caught up with him and kissed him again.

If I was a sane girl, I'd question all of this.

Damon had a point. While I hadn't been drinking, I was emotional. Or at least I had been earlier. I had a million and one thoughts that had followed me all the way from my house to his, and the only time they really stopped was when he kissed me. Now that he wasn't, Jonas and the Originals and the lack of safety in my own home came rushing back.

I closed the bathroom door and stripped out of my clothes. The shower was so perfect, I could've stayed in there forever. The water beat against my skin and relaxed the tension in my shoulders. When I reached up to touch my neck, the wound was completely healed. I rinsed myself off and got one of the thick black towels that hung on the rack. When I was dry, I wrapped the towel around myself and stepped into the bedroom. I got dressed in a sweat shirt and underwear and lay on the bed. I'd considered all of the possibilities of how Jonas was back, and I came up two.

The first was that they'd had another witch resurrect him. If that were the case, then there was way more going on that just the vision I'd had. If another witch was involved, if other witches were involved in general, then I needed to step up my magic. What happened today was unacceptable and was probably due to my lack of paying attention.

The second option, and probably the most feasible, was that Jonas had never really died. It wasn't a stretch. If he was powerful enough to take my magic, who knew what else he could do with his powers. It wasn't like the concept of being dead for awhile and then waking up was foreign. Jeremy had a ring that did it. If someone could harness the magic in that ring or something like it and more powerful, they wouldn't die either.

As soon as I lay on my side, exhaustion pulled at me. While I wanted to stay up and analyze the different scenarios in which a witch could come back from the dead and still have magic, my body was worn out and this bed was comfortable. It amazed me how a day could start out so normal and end so weirdly.

My last thought before darkness pulled me under was wishing I was a brave girl.

The next morning when I came downstairs, Damon was standing outside. When I went to join him, he tossed me my keys.

"You got my car?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Could you have come up with a better reason for why I was dropping you off at school?"

Good point. "Thanks."

There was an awkwardness that hung in the air. I didn't have to be at school for another hour and Damon…well, who knew what he had to do exactly. I wanted to talk about the kiss, and the one before it, but I wasn't good at bringing up things like that.

"Why can you feel me use magic?" I blurted.

"Hell if I know." He leaned against the door.

"Are you always aware of it? Have you been?"

"Yes and no."

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"It means that was I aware of it before you bonded with nature in the woods? No. Afterwards, yes."

"So you knew when I almost burned Caroline?"

He shook his head. "I felt the magic. I didn't know what spell you were using only that it felt warmer than the rest of them."

"My spells feel warm?"

"Most spells do." He said. "It's life Bonnie. Magic is life."

I nodded. "I wonder why you're the only one who can sense it."

"We don't know that I am."

"Stefan didn't come running through the woods with you."

His eyebrows raised. "Good point."

And we were back to square one on the subject. If we'd ever really left it. Maybe I didn't get an answer because that wasn't what I really wanted to ask.

Damon agreed. "Why don't you ask what's really on your mind."

I stiffened. "What do you-"

"Don't." he chuckled. "Everyone else around here can play dumb if they want, but you're too observant."

Okay then. "Fine. You kissed me. Twice. Why?"

"You kissed me back. Twice. Why?"

Shit. "I was angry."

"So was I."

"And I'd had a pretty bad day."

"What a coincidence."

"I'd been drinking." I said.

Damon nodded slowly. "It didn't mean anything. Shit happens."

Wow. "Really? Shit happens?"

He turned to look at me, eye to eye. "Was this supposed to be the part where we admitted an underlying attraction to each other? Can you say that's what it is for you?"

Sort of. In a small way. Maybe. "No."

"Same page then. Don't read too far into it." He said dismissively.

I know I'd always said it in my head, but for some reason my feelings were hurt. Suddenly getting to school earlier wasn't such a bad idea.

"I'm gonna go." I said.

"School doesn't start yet."

"Homework." I said, walking towards my car.

"You could do that before you leave."

"I work better in my car." It was the stupidest thing I'd ever said.

Damon was by my door before I got to it. "Don't go home."

"I thought that was pretty clear by my stuff still being upstairs."

"I mean for anything." He said. "If you think of something you forgot, just leave it."

"Right." I said, not looking at him.

He moved away from my car and I got inside. I watched him watch me through the rearview mirror as I pulled away, then disappear into the house as I made my turn. I knew better, I did. Damon kissed girls all the time, probably Elena if I connected the dots. Of course it wouldn't mean anything to him and what would I want it to mean if it did? He was right in what he said.

So why did I feel bad about it?

There were some students when I got there, those who rode the early buses that came at like seven in the morning. I was surprised to see Jeremy there, especially since Stefan had been driving him and Elena around for the past couple of weeks.

We smiled when we saw each other. "I texted you last night. Did you get it?"

I opened my phone to a blank screen. "I forgot to plug it up last night. It must've died on me."

"It wasn't anything important." Jeremy said. "I just wanted to ask if you'd help me with my project."

"Since when are school projects not important?"

"Right. It's for art." He said.

"Go on."

"I have to draw someone." He said. "Elena's hair is too complicated and I've already draw enough pictures of my parents."

"Elena's hair is too complicated?" I laughed. "It's the simplest hair ever."

"That's what I mean!" He groaned. "I'd get so bored, I'd probably end up coloring it purple."

"So you want to draw me?" I asked as we sat down on a bench.

"If you don't mind." He said, scooting a little closer.

I smiled. "And what's so interesting about my hair?"

"It does everything. Just the shadowing alone is enough."

"Anything else?" I laughed.

"Your eyes are greener." He said.

I blinked. "Yeah, the magic did that."

"You've been doing magic?" he asked.

Think fast. "Just practicing it, really. I've been experimenting with new spells."

"Like a sunlight spell?" He raised his eyebrows and smiled.

"You heard about that, huh?"

"Only that it worked despite Caroline wearing her daylight ring."

I shrugged. "Still haven't exactly figured out why that is."

A light bulb went off in Jeremy's head. I saw it in his eyes. "That's how I can draw you!"

"Trying to figure out a sunlight spell? Seems pretty boring."

He gave me a look. "No, Bonnie, doing magic."

I looked at him. "I don't know about that, Jer."

"Come on!" he turned to face me. "Think about it. It's not like you have laser beams shooting out of your hands or anything. I just want to capture you in the moment."

I saw the look in his eyes and saw the artist bursting out. If I shot him down, nothing he drew would be as good as the idea he had right now. He had a point as well. It wasn't like any magic I did, save conjuring fire or light, would be visible.

"Sure." I said. "Why not?"

"Seriously?" he beamed.

"That's generally what sure means." I smiled.

"Are you always this sarcastic or am I that lucky."

"Both."

Jeremy was back to sitting close to me again, and I realized he was almost as close as Damon had been yesterday. The only difference between the two was that I had room to move and Jeremy wasn't looking at me like…like…Damon had.

Jeremy had the idea that we could drive somewhere open and I could use my magic like I did that time with the spirits. He told me that if he could get that picture of me standing in the middle of wind, it would be perfect. Lately all the magic I did resulted in some kind of wind. It wouldn't be too hard to do.

"When are you free?" he asked. "Is tomorrow good?"

Tomorrow was Friday, I was mad at my friends, and I had no plans. "Sure. After school okay?"

"Yeah, definitely!" he said. "Maybe we could go to the Grille afterwards."

And there it was.

In the split second between him asking me and my answer, a few things went through my head. The first was that this was my best friend's little brother. While I'd always thought of him as adorable, attractive had been a fairly recent development. The second was that he was the first guy to ask me out since Luka, and that last part ended tragically. I had to move on. The third was that this was a guy who was actually interested in me. He knew me, had always known me, and wanted to spend time with me. There was no ulterior motive, no awkwardness, and no pretenses.

_And it would probably mean shit._

"Yeah." I said. "The Grille sounds awesome."

One of Jeremy's friends from class stopped to talk to him, and I told him to go ahead. After telling him I was sure at least twice, he finally told me he'd text me and left with his friend. But not before a look back at me.

I stood and dropped my phone on the ground. When I bent down to pick it up a pair of boots stepped into my line of vision.

"Excuse me." I said, picking up my phone and standing.

"Oh no," the voice said. "It's no problem at all."

My eyes shot up to the very alive eyes of Jonas Martin. They still held the warmth they always held to them, but now there was steel beneath it. I stood frozen and staring into the eyes of the man who'd died in Elena's bedroom. The man who'd taken my powers as a punishment for dealing with vampires. The man who undoubtedly blamed me for the deaths of him and his family.

And then he was gone.

**A/N: Thank you guys so much for reading the story, you're awesome of course. We got a little romancy here, which I kind of liked, and then Damon shut it down, which is typically him, but we still kind of got there. If you're wondering what Damon means when Bonnie asks him why he stopped, please refer to the Damon's Pov chapter and read the dialogue between him and Alaric. Bonnie is staying at the Salvatore place for a few chapters. Everyone else on the show has, so I figure why not Bonnie. Besides, with Stefan guarding Elena and Bonnie really not talking to either one of her friends, it gives her and Damon a lot of alone time. And we all want that now don't we? Also, I'm finding that I wrote Damon and Stefan's relationship more from the books perspective. If you remember (or if you've read) Damon, Stefan, and Pop Salvatore were NOT on the best of terms. So if I seem a little off, that's where I got it from. ALSO my characters are a little OOC (out of character right?) but I hope it's tasteful. I really want these characters to be honest, so any of your input can and will be taken seriously. Also, Jonas is back baby. BACK! How he's back, why he's back, and what are his plans for Bonnie remain to be seen. Trust me though, all will be revealed in time. Read, Review, Flame, Twerk. I love it all. **

**Thanks for reading! **


	12. Ambiguous

**A/N: We're getting up there, omg.**

Chapter Twelve: Ambiguous

The day went by in a blur. Before I knew it, I was driving back to the Salvatore boarding house and parking my car on the other side of it. When I'd called Damon and told him that I'd seen Jonas, he'd almost insisted on meeting me at school, but I thought that'd be a little much. Jonas hadn't done anything to me other than appear. From what Grams had always told me and what I'd read in all my books, that was the easiest trick in the book.

Damon opened the door as I came up the stairs and closed it as soon as I was inside. When I opened my mouth to say something, he shook his head and held up his hand. It wasn't until we got into the den that I realized why. Elena and Caroline were sitting on the couch and Stefan was standing by the fireplace. Everyone had taken their usual places. The only person missing was Jeremy.

I fought hard not to look at Damon, especially because I wanted to ask him why he didn't warn me, but maybe he didn't know they were showing up either. But then I figured it out. If I'd told Damon about Jonas being at school, then Damon had to have called Stefan because a rogue, undead, witch running around couldn't be good. If Stefan knew and he'd been the one to snap Jonas's neck in Elena's room, Elena knew. Whatever Elena knew, Caroline always found out. It was the way of the world.

Damon broke the silence. "Since the gang's all here, might as well jump into it. Jonas is alive."

"Are we sure it's not a spirit?" Stefan asked.

I shook my head. "I can usually feel a spirit. I didn't feel anything from him. Besides, he wasn't wearing the clothes he died in. That's usually a dead giveaway."

"How is he alive?" Elena asked. It was the first time I'd heard her voice in what felt like ages. "I thought you killed him, Stefan."

"I thought so too." Stefan said. "Snapping someone's entire neck usually does the trick."

Damon tsked. "Always take out the heart, little brother."

I usually didn't agree, but given the circumstances…

Caroline was on her feet. "Him being alive doesn't bother me as much. Most of us are alive when we shouldn't be. What does he want?"

"Bonnie if I had to guess." Damon said.

Everyone looked at me. I could've killed Damon.

"Jonas wasn't too fond of my affiliation with vampires. When he took my magic, he told me it was for my own good. At first I didn't understand why he'd do something like that, but during the process I saw into his mind and…he saw his daughter."

"Which, I might add, is expert neck snapping." Damon said.

Elena and Caroline looked disgusted. Stefan and I were used to it.

"That still doesn't explain why he would want you." Stefan said.

"I was the last connection he made before he died. Things like that are pretty significant to witches."

The one thing I'd noticed was that Damon was playing his information extremely close to the vest. He hadn't said anything about the vampire Colin, the spell on his blood, or the fact that my house may or may not be compromised. A part of me wanted to speak up, but I flashed back to the conversation he and I'd had.

A realistic loose cannon or an escapist hopeful?

I kept quiet while Damon and Stefan bounced ideas off of each other. It was clear that the main objective had something to do with Elena and, when that was brought up, the theories got even deeper. If Klaus was tied to Jonas, which he was but we were keeping that a secret, what was the connection to Elena? What was the connection between the four of us? Two witches, a hybrid, and a doppelganger. It sounded like the beginning of a really bad joke.

I almost went upstairs to put my things down, but I caught myself. No one knew I was staying here, and I was pretty sure Damon wanted to keep it that way. The only problem with that was I was pretty sure when my friends were ready to leave, they would expect me to go with them. If not that, then they would definitely be coming by my house later. I knew the both of them too well. Something had to be done.

"Can I talk to you guys?" I said. "Alone?"

Damon looked at me and narrowed his eyes, then motioned for Stefan to follow him. When they were gone, the tenseness of impending death and undead witch theories left and was replaced by the awkwardness between best friends. Caroline had added layers to her hair and Elena was wearing a new ring. My eyes were green and I made out with a vampire every time my adrenaline got pumping.

We had a lot to catch up on.

I guess I should start talking. "How've you guys been?"

"Undead. You?" Caroline asked.

"Witch. You?" I asked Elena.

She shrugged. "Doppelganger."

"Not much has changed." I said.

"I mean, Tyler almost broke up with me and Elena finally got split ends, other than that everything's pretty normal."

"How did you get split ends?"

"I haven't had time to trim them!" Elena defended herself. "Don't judge me."

I sat in the chair across from them. "Why did Tyler almost break up with you?"

Caroline rolled her eyes so hard, I could hear it if I tried. "He feels bad because he's a hybrid. He loves me, he's in debt to Klaus, and he got mad when I asked if they loved each other."

"That's not all you said." Elena laughed.

"Okay." Caroline said. "I _may_ have asked if Klaus asked Tyler to blow him would he. And maybe I used that to segue into Tyler doing everything he asked."

I cracked up.

"For the record, as mad as Tyler got, I still didn't get a direct answer. I'm worried ladies."

I was laughing so hard my head pounded. It wasn't until I saw them laughing as hard that I realized I missed my friends a lot more than I thought. A few awkward bursts of giggles happened as we tried to get ourselves together, and an awkwardness settled.

Elena straightened up first. "I'm sorry for what I said, Bonnie. You look out for us when we don't look out for ourselves. You're a better friend than I've been."

I smiled. "I'm sorry that I've been so anti vampire that you felt you couldn't come to me about anything. He's still your boyfriend. I shouldn't have been so quick to defend Damon without having thoroughly known what Stefan went through."

We smiled at each other.

"About time." Caroline said.

Caroline filled me in on the latest school gossip and Elena told me that Matt swore he'd kill me the next time he saw me. I deserved it for isolating him as well, especially because the only reason he'd started coming around more was for me. When the girls asked me about what I'd been up to and if I had anything particularly juicy going on, I told them no. Really, there wasn't much going on with me other than the magic.

And the fact that an undead witch wanted me dead or alive.

And that I was going on a date with Elena's little brother.

And that I knew what Damon's lips felt like. And I wanted to feel them again against my better judgment.

The last thought didn't shock me as much as I thought it would, but it was pretty up there in the alarming factor. I think I wanted it only to see what it would be like outside of having previously used magic. Damon had a point. Both times had been either emotional, alcohol filled, or both. I think I owed it to that warm feeling in my stomach to at least decide if the small amount of whatever I felt was real or not. Damon told me not to look to far into it though, and maybe I shouldn't. He'd said it meant nothing so maybe I wouldn't get the chance.

As if I summoned him, Damon and Stefan walked back into the room and the fun was over. Stefan said Alaric called him and wanted to meet at Elena's house and Caroline had wanted to check on her mom.

"We don't know what's going on yet." Caroline said. "I just want to make sure she's okay."

I nodded and hugged them both. "Let me know when you're home."

"You're staying?" Elena asked.

I was quick. "Damon thinks that maybe if we can find a book on the Martin family tree, we can see what kind of magic they may have practiced that allows them to come back from the dead."

Elena nodded. "Good luck. And Damon," she looked at him. "Be good."

"I'm always good." He said.

We both looked at him.

When the doors were closed and the cars were gone, Damon clapped his hands. "Bravo little Bennett."

"What for?" I asked.

"Superb acting." He said.

"It wasn't all acting." I told him. "I missed my friends."

"I don't doubt that." He said. "Still very convincing."

Something settled between Damon and I, and I realized that I was still pretty…well, I still felt a little upset about this morning. How he'd dismissed something that while may not have been as serious deserved more attention than it got really rubbed me the wrong way. For some reason, I felt more than upset because I figured maybe I'd done something wrong. Maybe if I was better at kissing, he wouldn't have stopped. Maybe if I had better one liners, it'd have been him left with the off kilter feelings. I was going upstairs.

"Thanks. I have homework. I'll see you later."

He caught me as I touched the rail. "I thought you worked better in your car."

Right. "I'm going upstairs, Damon."

When I got to my room, I flopped down on the bed. I felt my face twist when I thought of the room as mine, but it made sense. Besides, we still weren't sure if my real room was still mine anymore, and that was something that unnerved me even more. I'd been meaning to ask Damon if he could go back by my house to see if still didn't smell like my magic, but I figured we'd had enough issues today.

I picked up my phone and texted Matt. After Caroline told me that Matt was mad at me, I figured I should say something. A few seconds later he told me he was working at the Grill, but my ass was grass when he saw me the next morning. I asked him what kind of grass. He told me crab. I also saw that I had a message from Jeremy thanking me again for agreeing to be his subject. I texted him back and told him that calling me a subject was weird.

He was calling me. I answered on the second ring. "Hello?"

"We should give you a name like 'Subject 71143'. Cool right?"

"What happened to the other seventy one thousand one hundred and forty two subjects?"

"They failed miserably." Jeremy said.

"And how do I know you won't throw me away if I fail?"

"You never fail."

"You haven't seen my magic lately." I told him.

"I can't do magic at all. I bet even your screw ups look awesome."

"That's sweet?" I laughed.

"I tried." I could almost hear him smiling.

I could hear loud music coming from the hallway. The only reason I knew it was Rob Zombie was because I went through a White Zombie phase when I was thirteen. A secret one. I kept Jeremy on the phone as I stepped out of my room.

"Do you still have my book?" I asked him, heading towards the open door with light and music coming from it.

"Hold on," he said, and I could hear him moving. "Yep, it's in my bag."

"I wanted to read that." I said.

"You've already read it. You were reading it when I took it."

"I wanted to finish reading it." I told him.

"You shouldn't have been difficult." He replied.

"Is that my punishment? Be difficult, have a book kidnapped?"

"If you ever want to see it with its spine in good condition, you'll do as I say."

"Oh please sir," I said in a southern accent. "I'd do anything for Holden."

Jeremy paused. "Would you keep talking in that accent?"

"Gross." I laughed.

The music was getting louder now, almost eclipsing Jeremy on the phone. Luckily for me, he had to go anyway.

"Elena's done cooking, can I call you later?" he asked. I couldn't remember the last time I ate. I needed to find Damon.

"Yeah." I said. "Sure."

We got off the phone just as I got to the door. When I pushed it open, I was amazed.

It was a room, and while it looked almost identical to mine, there were so many nicer touches to it. The leather chair that sat in the corner with the matching ottoman. The first decent rug I'd seen in ages. The bed was slightly bigger than mine with crisp white sheets and a deep burgundy comforter. There was a huge mirror right beside the bed and curtains that went from the ceiling to the floor.

There were so many books.

I saw Romeo and Juliet first, and underneath that was Moby Dick. The huge black book with the gold spine turned out to be The Canterbury Tales and the red one was the Art of war. For every classic I found, there was one that preceded it. He even had a copy of The Dream of the Rood. I found myself going through the classics.

The music stopped and brought my attention to another door. This one was cracked open like the bedroom door was, only the light was brighter and the music seemed to be coming from inside specifically. I put down the book I'd been holding and moved closer to the door. Steam wafted out of the bathroom as I pushed the door open and stepped inside.

Three things happened simultaneously.

The first was that the music started playing again, switching loudly and then surprising me so hard that I jumped backwards into the wall. The second was, with that shock, my magic reacted and completely fried the expensive looking stereo. It was one of those kinds with that was pure iPod and speakers that you only saw in movies and television shows.

The third was a very naked Damon Salvatore staring at me.

It was always startling coming into contact with eyes that were already staring at you. It was even more startling when the eyes themselves were the most brilliant blue you'd ever seen. I didn't think I'd ever get over them. They were either bluer than the last time I'd seen them, which seemed unlikely since it couldn't have been more than twenty minutes, or they'd gotten clearer. I wasn't sure.

He was in the tub of all places, knees drawn up. I could see his chest and arms from where I was standing and if I ever thought Damon was muscular, it'd just been confirmed ten times over. His legs were just as defined, smooth and perfect and muscled in what could only be the right places. Muscled wasn't the word for something so pale and well defined. Sculpted maybe? Chiseled? I hated the words, especially because they sounded like something out of a Nora Roberts novel. I was back to staring at him. It was like being caught in headlights.

Really blue headlights.

"Finished your homework?" he asked.

I opened my mouth closed it, rinsed and repeated about two more times before some intelligent came to mind.

"I, um, no." Barely intelligent. "I should go finish."

I turned my back on him, but he stopped me. "You didn't tell me the fight you had with Elena was about me."

"Bigger fish were frying." I said, trying to inch my way towards the door.

"Would you have told me about it if I asked?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

"I'm asking now." said Damon.

"I don't think now's the time." I replied.

"Really?" he asked. "And what time would've been good for you to come into my bathroom unannounced?"

"I didn't know it was your bathroom!" I blurted.

"It's my room in general." Damon said.

"I didn't know that either."

"I told you that yesterday."

"You said your room was at the other end of the hall."

"I said my study was on the other end of the hall."

"You," I stopped. "Whatever. I'm going-"

"Relax, Bonnie." He told me. "Breathe. Turn around, face the wall, back to the tub."

"Damon," I started.

"Do you do that all the time?" He cut me off.

"Do what?" I asked.

"Say a person's name or begin your sentences with 'look' when you don't want to do something. It's almost as bad as whining. Stop whining."

I whirled around. "I'm not whining."

"There's a big girl." Damon said. He stretched his arm and put his hand on the edge of the tub, then nodded to it. "Sit there."

"No."

He shrugged. "Alright."

Damon gripped both sides of the tub and began to rise.

"Okay, okay, fine!" I turned around again.

He chuckled. "Come on."

I remembered where his hand was. I kept my eyes on the upper part of his body as I moved and, when I finally reached his hand, I got to my knees with my back to the tub.

"Really?" Damon asked. "You're going to sit on your knees the whole time?"

"I don't want to sit on the floor." I said.

"You're being petulant." Damon said. "There's a stool over there, grab it."

The stool was short and wooden, but perfect for sitting. I grabbed it and kept my eyes down as I moved back toward the spot Damon told me to sit. I placed the stool down and sat down.

"Now look at me." I was about to tell him otherwise, but he cut me off. "Just do it."

I turned slightly to my right. His hair was wet and slicked back, save for the heavy bangs that almost fell in his eyes. He was smirking too, the trademark one, but there was something mischievous about it. He was enjoying this way too much.

"Can you see anything?" he asked.

Other than his upper body? "No."

"Sucks for you." He said. "Now, what was the fight about?"

"If I tell you, can I go do my homework?" I asked.

"Your homework's already done." He raised an eyebrow.

What? "How do you know?"

"Other than you just telling me? You seem like the type of girl who does her other subjects during her other subjects. Math during History, History during Chemistry, I think you always pay attention during English, but once you get to that free period you knockout the Chemistry homework and read the assigned chapters."

I only stared.

"The fight now. Recap."

I sighed. "Elena said you enjoyed being a vampire more than Stefan did. I begged to differ."

"Oh? How so?" he asked.

"Just because Stefan doesn't like what he is doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy it. As a matter of fact, I think that's mostly why he's brooding a lot of the time."

"I do enjoy being a vampire." Damon said. "I like the kill."

"You like it. You aren't consumed by it."

Damon moved and the water shifted. "And how did you come to that conclusion?"

"Stefan's an addict." I said. "You aren't."

"That's a fact, not an explanation." He replied.

"Everything Stefan's done proves what he is. Most people with Addictions hate what they've done to themselves and to others. The only thing that really justifies anything, in their eyes, is the high. Stefan kept secrets, lied, and even manipulated when he was on human blood. I'm sure he's ashamed of the things that he's done and the people he's hurt, but I think he's even more ashamed that he liked doing it. "The Ripper" is another way for Stefan to justify his baser instincts manifesting instead of admitting to himself that he enjoys it."

Damon studied me for a few long seconds. "That explains that he enjoys it. That doesn't explain why he likes it more than me."

"I don't know that he likes it more than you." I said. "I know that you don't enjoy it more than him."

He raised himself to sit up completely. "How?"

"You said you chose to die." I said. "And I think a part of you still wants to. The conviction I heard in your voice wasn't something that showed up recently. It's something I bet you live with everyday, despite how much you say otherwise. Accepting your nature and being good at it doesn't change that about you. I don't think it ever will."

Damon wasn't looking at me now. He was focusing on something that wasn't in the room and squeezing the edge of the tub so hard, I thought it'd crack. His eyes had darkened with an intensity that went beyond the emotions I'd usually seen on him. I saw his jaw clench, his chest rise and fall, and then the vampire I was used to was back in place.

He got to his feet in one swift motion.

I was out of the stool and across the floor to the bathroom door in seconds. I wasn't facing him anymore, and had almost gotten completely out of the bathroom before he caught my arm and turned me around. Thankfully, he was wearing a towel.

"You're wrong." He said, backing me into a wall. There was barely any space between us as he stared down at me.

Somehow, I'd found courage. "Am I?"

"Very." He continued. "I love what I am. I bask in every drop of blood I spill."

The courage kept coming. "That's not contrived at all."

His hand was around my throat, squeezing just a little.

"You planning on choking me until it's not true anymore? I don't think I'll live that long."

"Keep it up and you won't live through the next ten seconds." He threatened.

"We both know you won't kill me. You need me."

"I could always bring you back." He said. "You'd certainly be more useful."

"And yet," I said. "It still wouldn't change anything would it?"

"Shut up." he hissed.

"Make me."

I expected his grip to get tighter. I expected him to do something, anything, other than snatch the towel off his waist. I gasped. He smirked.

"Nothing to say?" he asked.

Nothing.

Damon kept going. "You know, you had me there for a second. For one teeny little second there, I thought you might be somewhat bad ass. Turns out, you're still the same. A judgmental virgin with sad self control."

I don't know what it was about what he said, but suddenly, I was bored. I was tired of the virgin jokes, from him, everyone else, and myself. So what if I hadn't had sex? What the hell did that even have to do with anything?

"You're right Damon, absolutely right. I am a virgin, I am judgmental, and maybe I don't have the perfect control over my magic. But you want to know the difference between me and you?" I asked.

He cocked his head. "What's that?"

"With a little open mindedness, all of those things about me can change. You've had all the time in the world and you're still just as sad as you were the day you died."

Moving, I was moving. I didn't remember doing it and I couldn't see anything other than a blur. Before I knew it, I was airborne and flailing in the air before I landed on the huge bed next to my bag. Damon had thrown me in this room. He had literally run me from one end of the hall and tossed me into a room.

Before I could look up, the door slammed.

I heard another door slam and then there was nothing but the ringing in my ears. Almost immediately, I felt guilty. While maybe he'd deserved what I said, I shouldn't have said it. I couldn't even remember where I'd gotten all of that from in the first place. It was like something else had taken over, some knowledge of things that I hadn't really known. I heard the opening of a door, footsteps, and then the main door opening and closing.

And then, I was alone. Completely.

The next day was the same. After I'd gone through my morning routine, I'd gone to Damon's door and tried to talk to…well, I don't know what I was going to do exactly, but it didn't matter anyway. He didn't answer when I knocked and when I looked inside, his room was empty.

At school, I found Matt sitting on the bench where we usually sat and where I'd been avoiding. I held out my peace offering, a donut, and he'd taken it graciously. Matt also told me that the next time I avoided him because of Elena and Caroline again, he'd slap me.

"Slap me?" I asked.

"Not physically." He said. "More like I'd evil eye you so hard, you'll feel slapped."

"Are you going to shake your head and turn away too?"

"Damn straight."

Jeremy was waiting at my car when the bell rang. A part of me thought maybe he was too anxious, but the other part figured he maybe didn't want to wait too long. Turns out, it was the latter.

"Mr. Riordan had us in the wetlands." Jeremy said, looking at his shoes.

"We have wetlands?" I asked, unlocking the car.

"See? I said the same thing. Everybody laughed." He shook his head.

I smiled. "So where's this place we're going exactly?"

"I was thinking the old Lockwood place?" Jeremy looked at me.

I shrugged. "It's as good a place as any."

He smiled. "Really? I thought you'd be nervous with all the weird shit that's gone down there."

"Weird shit is Mystic Falls' middle name." I said. "I'd be a shut in if I let that stop me from doing things."

Jeremy nodded. "This is true. I take it you and Elena made up."

"How'd you know?"

"She cooked."

"That's not uncommon."

"She cooked well."

I laughed. "Doesn't she usually?"

"Usually it's like a seven out of ten." Jeremy said. "This time, she got a nine point five."

"Why only point five?"

Jeremy shrugged. "She's my sister. I can't let her be great."

Getting to the old Lockwood place wasn't hard. As a matter of fact, we all knew the way by heart. Jeremy had a camera and his sketch pad ready for whatever it is he intended for me to do. The one thing I liked about Jeremy was that he was a talker. Not the kind you wanted to strangle after five minutes, but the kind you found yourself falling into easy conversation with. His laughs were genuine; his smile was shy and bright at the same time. His jokes were tasteful and he didn't make me feel like I was missing out on anything just because I hadn't had sex.

I found that I really liked Jeremy.

The both of us sat on the ground facing each other. He flipped open his sketch book, wrote something really quick, then grabbed his camera.

"Aaaaand go!" He said.

"What?" I laughed.

He smiled. "Do something magical."

It was the first time in a long time where I'd actually just used magic. No spells, no training, just using my magic and letting it ride. I tucked my knees under and put my hands on my thighs. I closed my eyes and felt the air around me. I caught the first hint of a breeze, the barest hint of one, and magnified it. When I opened my eyes, I saw Jeremy sit on his sketchbook and grab his camera. My hair was blowing wildly as I got to my feet, staring into the sky. I couldn't remember the last time I'd done something so simple.

I couldn't remember the last time I felt so weightless.

Jeremy was staring at me in awe. I smiled. "You should be getting this."

He started snapping immediately, circling me with his camera pressed against his face. He was laughing as he did, beaming whenever we made eye contact, and I found myself doing the same. I wanted to give him more though, I wanted to give him something magical.

"I've got something for you!" I yelled over the wind.

"Oh really?" he yelled back. "Like what?"

My eyes went skyward again, and I concentrated on my body. It was like that day in Elena's room when I first told her who I was. I imagined myself being one of those feathers and being completely unbound by gravity. I heard Jeremy say something along the lines of "oh shit" and, when I looked down, I could see why. I was off the ground, completely, and floating upward. It wasn't flying by any stretch of the imagination but it was pretty good levitation if I say so myself. Jeremy didn't waste time snapping pictures of me, and I found myself trying to pose like his favorite superheroes. He seemed excited anyway.

_You've learned a few tricks since I've been gone._ The voice rang through my head.

"What?" I whispered.

_Let's see how many. _

Jonas.

I fell slightly, just enough to scare me and make Jeremy come running, but by the time he got to me something else had already taken over. The magic being used to keep me in the air wasn't mine anymore. It was colder, way more sharp, chilling me to the bone. Jeremy was getting closer and closer, and Jonas didn't like it.

_Either you stop him, or I will._

I swung my arm upward and Jeremy bumped into an invisible wall. He tried to go around it to the same result. I shook my head.

"Stay here." I told him.

"What's going on?" he narrowed his eyes. "Bonnie what's-"

I was snatched backwards.

Trees, leaves, everything flew past me as I was snatched through the forest. I felt like Rachel Weisz in Constantine, being sucked through my surroundings so fast and hard that even breathing hurt a little. The main thing I did do was keep calm. It was a fight, a hard one, but I couldn't afford to lose my magic, not now. Especially not with the only thing protecting Jeremy was a barrier I put up.

The pull was beginning to ease and the feeling in my abdomen subsided. I came to a complete stop and fell to the ground hard. When I stood, I was in a clearing. I hadn't even known the forest had one this big.

"Most don't." a masculine voice said.

Jonas materialized into the space beside me. I mean literally materialized. It was like the air had taken his color and shape and suddenly he was there like he had been the whole time. Who knows, maybe he actually was there the whole time. What the hell was he?

"I'm a warlock, Bonnie." Jonas smiled.

"Stay out of my head." I hissed.

"You could make me if you wanted to."

"What do you want?" I asked.

"We'll get to that." He said. "I'm very disappointed, Bonnie."

I really didn't give a damn how disappointed he was. I needed to run.

"I suggest you either find a way to keep me out of your head or not think so loudly." He smiled.

"You could always just stay out." I said.

"I could." He said. "It's for your own good that I'm not."

I laughed, it wasn't pleasant. "My own good? You tried to kill me."

"No. Colin tried to kill you. From the body dumped in a quarry miles from here, I'll assume you got to him first."

"What do you want?"

"You know," he continued. "What is it about vampires that makes you witches go crazy? They all want the same thing in the end, blood, but you kill one and not the others. What separated Colin from the Damon? From Stefan?"

The way he said Stefan's name was clearly more vehement. I only stared at him. If he wasn't going to answer my questions, why would I even consider answering his?

I was on the ground in a second, clutching my head and screaming. Pain flowed so freely through my veins I couldn't comprehend what was going on. All I could hear was pain, all I could taste was pain, it was an all consuming force that crippled my senses and shut my magic down. I reached into my core to see if he had taken it from me again, he hadn't.

"And I won't." he said. "Now answer the question."

"The Salvatores never broke in my house and tried to kill me." I said through gritted teeth.

"Colin wasn't supposed to." Jonas said. "I apologize."

"Not accepted."

Jonas smiled. "You've gotten bolder."

I only stared.

"Bolder, but barely stronger. When Greta was seventeen, she could keep a vampire out of the house and a witch out of her aura. Luka learned at fifteen."

I stayed silent, I focused on the quiet of the clearing.

"While you," he said. "Remain no stronger than how I left you. And I know why."

He had my attention now.

"What if I told you everything about being a witch was a lie? That all of the limitations and violations and the consequences were nothing compared to what you really are?"

"I've seen the consequences," I told him. "I've lived them. They're there for a reason."

"Are they?" Jonas asked. "You're only operating under one rule of nature, the light. What happens if you embrace the darkness inside of you?"

What the hell was he talking about? "I don't have darkness-"

"Every witch has darkness, Bonnie, even you."

"And I'm supposed to believe the words of a dead witch?"

"Am I dead Bonnie?" He asked. "You'd know if I was a spirit. I wouldn't even have my magic. Am I really dead? Was I ever?"

The thought stopped me cold. Those were the real questions here, not whatever he was asking. All witches had darkness inside of them? Not even. There was magic, and then there was dark magic, and then there were consequences that came with it. It was what I'd been taught. It was the way of nature.

"If you won't believe me, pay attention to the facts Bonnie. Nature is all about balance. Good and evil, light and dark, up and down, all of it. If we're tools of nature, instruments used to protect the balance of it, wouldn't we have to have dark with the light?"

"A witch chooses the side." I said. "Any one of us could be evil, but only if we do dark magic and stain our auras with it."

"But what if we did both?" He was kneeling in front of me. "What if you stopped believing so hard in the light and became an ambiguous force? You would be keeping _a_ balance instead of _the_ balance, but a balance all the same. You'd be powerful beyond anything, beyond everything. You wouldn't have to serve vampires or be forced to."

"Like you are?" I fired back. "You're working for Rebekah. You're working with Klaus."

Jonas smiled. "At the moment we have similar goals. When that's accomplished, well, who knows what'll happen?"

"Why do you want to kill Elena?" I asked. "She didn't do anything to you."

He cocked his head. "Is that what you think we're doing?"

"I had the vision." I told him. "I know what's going to happen."

He shook his head. "You of all people should know visions aren't always reliable. They show you what will happen, not why it does."

Jonas turned his back on me. "Think about what I said. You'll be hearing from me again soon."

He walked forward and disappeared. It was like he'd walked through an invisible door and disappeared into the air of the clearing. When I finally got to my feet and looked around, the trees spread a part and formed a path. When I took it, it lead me straight back to Jeremy.

**A/N: Hey guys! A lot of you got the chapter 12 update for good reason because I definitely updated it, but then I took it down. It just didn't feel right. At all. So THIS is the actual chapter twelve and I hope you liked it. I hope you all had a really good holiday, mine was pretty small with me and my mom but it was awesome! Damon got some truth served and Bonnie got some options. By the way, I'm hoping I can reveal why Damon can feel Bonnie use magic. She's got a lot of explaining to do next chapter, but we'll see how that dynamic between them goes. Thank you guys so much for reading! Review Review Review! Seriously. Do it. I love it.**


	13. Normal

**A/N: My first teen chapter, ever. Shit. **

***Stares into the unknown***

Chapter Thirteen: Normal

I was having one of those moments where I questioned everything. My life, my decisions, the people I associated with. I questioned the choices I'd made, the choices made for me, and the choices I hadn't thought of yet. I wondered about my future again, if by Jonas coming back had it taken an even worse turn that I'd ever thought it would. I'd always envisioned killing myself using too much magic or having my throat ripped out by a vampire. Somehow I'd become comfortable with these options.

I never once thought of another witch doing me harm.

Because on some level, we were all running the same race. Trying to balance our magic and our basic human needs. How to deal with power and not succumb to the superiority complex it gave us. We were beacons of hope to a world filled with chaos. It was a shared responsibility a select few of us had. Lineages and heritages and bloodlines and ancestries. It all bonded us in more intimate ways and kept us so tight knit that somewhere along the line it had become unfathomable to do wrong towards another of our kind.

And yet here it was.

Jonas had stared me in my eyes and used his magic on me. He'd further told me that everything else I believe in was a lie. It was those same beliefs that kept me from being a true witch and being as powerful as I wanted to be. The light I'd violated so many times, felt guilty for abusing, was nothing more than an ethics code my grandmother have given me. My own ancestor had made daylight rings for vampires. My own great aunt had succumbed to darkness.

There was that word again, Darkness. What did it feel like? Was it even a feel? Jonas had said there was darkness inside of every witch, but did he mean actual darkness or the capacity for it? I didn't want to believe it about myself, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel…something from time to time. It was always that step further, that boundary I didn't push against. Like the night in my living room when my magic told me, _told me_, that it didn't want to help Elena or my friends. It wanted me to be free.

It wanted to free me.

But at what cost? Leaving my friends and potentially whatever was left of my family to die didn't feel like the best option. Honestly, that didn't feel freeing at all. True freedom, at least from what the media has socialized, unsocialized, and resocialized us to believe was the act of letting go. The relationships, the baggage, the past one couldn't escape. Letting all of it go was the key to freedom. Was that what my magic wanted? For me to abandon the life of a normal seventeen year old girl and give myself over to the forces of nature?

Because really? Let's face it. I wasn't normal, I never had been. Unlike everyone I was surrounded by, my place in the supernatural didn't come from a spell or death. Witches aren't made, they're born. As hard as I could try to condemn Stefan and Damon for being vampires, that was something that happened to them during a horrible turn of events. I had no such event. No sire, no maker, no spell on my blood. Was I even human? Was I magic in a corporeal form to help sustain nature's balance?

And if that was the case, was I truly getting in the way of what my baser instincts wanted and needed? Yearning for a normal life is fine until you find out that it's not life that's fucking everything up, it's you. Bonnie Bennett was second to the magic. Even the people I helped thought so. A spell, a curse, a tomb, a ring. I was glue, screw the label. As long as everything stayed stuck as advertised, there wasn't a problem.

"Bonnie." Someone said my name.

I was back in the Gilbert living room and out of my thoughts. Everyone was looking at me. I didn't know why. I found myself not wanting to know why either. Maybe I'd made a noise or something mid thought. Maybe someone else had come up with a reason to use the magic I didn't feel like I truly understood anymore. Jonas hadn't uprooted anything, but he'd put a pretty big question mark on everything. I'd never known a witch who lived after dying. I'd heard stories of some living forever and I'd seen one obsessed with beauty. I'd never heard the bones of a person's neck snap and then see the person months later.

It was impossible. Or at least it should've been.

"Bonnie?" The voice said my name again. It was Elena.

I still hadn't said anything yet. What was there to say? That a warlock who knew my whereabouts found me barely protected in the middle of the woods, snatched me through said woods, and decided to have a conversation about the proper way to use my heritage. That in addition to having talked to the warlock, I still had a clock on saving my best friend from imminent death. These were the questions in my head. These were the ones that required real expertise.

Damon had been teaching me the right thing and the wrong one. While it was important for me to move, it was even more important to keep certain things locked inside my head. Jonas had read me like his favorite book, cover to cover. He knew my thoughts as I thought them and made no bones about it. He told me I could stop him if I tried.

I didn't know if I could.

Everything moved in slow motion, but the sound was gone. Elena was touching my shoulder but I couldn't feel her hand. Her lips were moving, but no sound was coming out. Jeremy was saying something , but the same thing was happening. I couldn't hear any of them. It was like being underwater or behind really thick glass. I could see everyone, see their eyes on me, see their lips moving, and if I tried hard enough I could even read them. I found that I didn't want to.

Because what could they say? I knew the drill already, I knew these people even more. They'd ask me what happened, then what did he say. Stefan would ask me if there were any leads on Klaus or the other originals, he would probably ask me where they were because of course Jonas would tell me that. He'd ask about Elena, always Elena. Despite the fact that I'd been snatched through the woods like some airborne ragdoll, it'd come back to an accidental doppelganger.

Jeremy was on his feet, yelling. I could tell by his jerky arm movements and his red ear tips. He pointed at me, he pointed at Elena, and he pointed at everyone else in the room. Whatever he was saying made Stefan sigh and Caroline look down. Elena sat beside me motionless other than the occasional blink as she listened.

Caroline was talking now and I knew the look on her face. Whatever she was saying was somewhere along the lines of "calm down", but instead of advising it, she was telling him it was what he needed to do. I knew this because there was only so much anyone was going to yell at Caroline. I'd seen her tell her own mother that until she could talk to her like she was the captain of the cheerleading squad, she didn't have anything else to say.

Stefan was talking and looking at Elena. Probably reminding Jeremy that Elena was his sister. Stefan did the thing where he stepped forward and explained his rationale. He leaned forward when he had to make a direct point and stood back upright when he believed in it. His hand moved to and away from him, as if it were carrying the words away.

And then there was Elena who, out of the corner of my eye, was now staring at me again. I felt her arm go over mine as she laced her fingers with my own, and I saw her say something softly. There was chaos amongst my friends and I couldn't hear it. There were things being said and I wasn't a part of it. Whatever had left me deaf had my utmost thanks.

I stared straight ahead at the pictures on the fireplace. One was of Elena when she was a little girl, probably around seven or eight. Her hair was being held out of her face by a headband as she smiled into the camera while holding a book. Jeremy's picture was of him around the same age in a Mystic Falls Bobcats baseball uniform, holding an aluminum bat. I saw Elena's parents who'd been taken from her and Jeremy. I saw Jenna with her amazing smile and bright eyes. Everyone on that fireplace had been a victim to some kind of vampire interaction. Only some of them survived it.

I thought about my own family, the people I'd lost. My grandmother, my mother, almost the entire Bennett Clan. I had an older cousin Lucy, but outside of the occasional text message and really long email, we didn't talk. The only person I had was my dad and he couldn't help me out of this shit anymore than my grams could. I'd made a promise not to summon her, but I felt like I needed her now more than anything.

Someone else entered the room. Damon.

There was something to be said about a guy who wore the same color and always looked different. I didn't know exactly what there was to be said, but I knew it was something. He strode in as he usually did, only as soon as he stepped into the living room, his eyes went to mine. The pure blue that doesn't look real. The blue that made promises and broke your heart. The last thing you saw before he ripped out your heart blue. His skin was so pale and stark against the rest of him, giving the illusion that he was really made of color like the rest of us.

Everyone else was still talking, but Damon had taken a spot by the fireplace and leaned against it. Where had he gone last night? Where had he been this morning? Whenever Damon or Stefan disappeared like that it had usually been for some kind of information. I couldn't think of anything he might've found, seeing as if we had such little information ourselves.

The bathroom incident popped back into my head, and I remembered how vibrant everything was. Somehow I'd managed to have an awkward moment in the midst of the chaos that was my life. I'd been pushed against a wall and had a naked guy in front of me. At the time I'd thought the situation was crazy because it was the furthest thing from my mind that could've happened. Now, a small part of me, the small part that got warm whenever Damon touched me, regretted not looking down.

Damon's head cocked as he looked at me, and he pushed himself away from his spot at the fireplace. He walked over to me slowly and squatted in front of me. Elena said something and his eyes darted to hers and back to mine. He was saying something to me now, his eyes not wavering. His lips puckered and stretched as he spoke. The barest amount of sound was coming out.

"…p."

It was the end of whatever he said, that "p" sound.

"…ke up."

He was getting louder. The rest of the world was filling my ears like volume going up on a television. His hand touched was on my knee. The hole in my jeans exposed just enough skin for his thumb to touch.

"Bonnie," he said my name. "Wake up."

And I did. Back to reality.

Everything came rushing back like water from a faucet. I remembered coming through the woods and finding a freaked out Jeremy still behind my invisible wall. He hugged me when I took it down and looked me over, checking for injury. I thought it was funny that he did, but I probably would've done the same thing. In the car he yelled because he felt useless and because I wouldn't tell him what was wrong. I'd driven him home and he persuaded me to come inside.

Needless to say our date was cancelled.

Elena took a look at me and looked at Jeremy and then she was on the phone with Stefan. Ten minutes later, he and Caroline showed up confused. No one could get an answer out of me to save their lives though all of them tried as hard as they could. I'd zoned out again. I'd checked the hell out on my life.

Damon snapped his fingers in front of my face. "Don't."

"Sorry." I apologized for no reason. My voice sounded monotone.

He nodded. "It's okay. Did he hurt you?"

Jeremy got defensive. "I didn't-"

"Not _you_, Jonas." Damon cut him off.

"Jonas is dead." I heard the confusion in Jeremy's voice.

Damon looked at Elena. "You didn't tell him?"

"I thought it'd be better if he didn't know." Elena said. Her voice sounded weird.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Jeremy exploded. "I'd have never asked Bonnie to go out in the middle of the woods if I knew he was alive!"

I heard the conviction in his voice, I knew it was true. Jeremy had been there when Jonas barged through the door and scared the living shit out of me. He'd witnessed firsthand the act of another witch's power. He'd held me after my magic had been stolen and soothed me while I cried. Of everyone in here, Jeremy was the only one who really got it. I understood his anger.

"Jeremy calm down." Stefan said.

"Shut up!" he yelled, his eyes never leaving Elena. "Do you realize what could've happened? No, of course you don't. It wasn't happening to the _doppelganger_ so no big deal right?"

That hurt Elena, I could almost feel it. You could say whatever you wanted about her, but you didn't insult her as a friend. It was one of the things she held close to her no matter how much bickering we did.

"Let's pretend for one second that the world doesn't revolve around you. Because you and the rest of you want to keep secrets, Bonnie was kidnapped. And for what? Because you want to keep me safe? Safe when out the window when you started screwing the local vampire!"

"That's enough, Jeremy!" Alaric boomed. I hadn't even heard him come in. He had the huge German spell book in his hand and I could see hundreds of Sticky Notes between the pages. He tossed the book on the end table and stood behind the couch.

"Ric she-"

"Is still your sister. Your older one at that. Have some respect."

"Respect? Does she respect me when she keeps secrets? Does she respect me when she screws with my life?"

"Are you respecting Bonnie by making everything about you?" Ric asked calmly.

Jeremy stopped. He looked at me and I could see everything. The uselessness that he felt, the anger he felt at his sister's choices. I'd been there once, not even that long ago. He finally looked around and realized the room. Everyone was looking at him and Damon was staring at me.

"You need to cool off." Alaric said. "Go upstairs, I'll be there in a minute."

Jeremy left without another word and without so much of a glance at his sister. Elena took a couple of deep breaths and told us she was fine. Stefan didn't look exactly angry, but if Jeremy could handle a punch to the jaw from a vampire he'd have probably gotten one. Caroline exhaled to where her cheeks puffed. Alaric folded his arms.

"Did he hurt you?" Damon asked again.

"He did the pain thing I always do to you." I said.

Damon smiled, it was small. "You know how it feels, huh."

"I won't do it again." It shocked me how much I meant it. I didn't need to inflict that kind of pain on someone I worked with. Especially someone who was on my side.

He nodded. "What happened?"

And I told them what they needed to hear. Jonas was working with for Klaus because they had similar goals in mind. What those goals were, no one knew. Yes Jonas was alive, really alive. No I don't know what he wanted. Yes, his involvement with the Originals is sketchy. No, he didn't say anything about Elena other than that maybe wasn't all they were doing. No I don't know what that meant.

When it was over and the theories had been hatched and new plans had semi been created, I was tired and wanted to go home. Alaric passed me the book and told me to call him when I was ready and to take my time. Elena asked me to stay the night, but I told her no. not because I didn't want to, but I just wanted to be alone more.

Damon walked me outside. I didn't see his car anywhere, which made me wonder if he'd run all the way here. I wouldn't be surprised if he did, it wasn't like he'd get tired. When I pulled my keys out of my pocket, he took them from me. I was about to protest before he cut me off.

"No." it was all he said.

Damon drove smoothly, I realized. In his car, smooth was impossible because it was older and you could feel everything. In my car, it was like riding on air. I wanted to ask him to take me home, but I knew it was useless. Damon had even taken the other, longer, way to the Salvatore boarding house just to prove a point. If I thought anything about alone time, it was out. He'd give me the space I wanted maybe, but alone was out.

Inside he'd taken the book from me and put it on a table. I went upstairs and looked around the room I was staying in. None of it felt real anymore, despite my things being on the bed and floor. I took a shower and hoped that I would feel better, but I didn't. The water didn't wash away my confusion. The soap didn't get the feel of Jonas's magic off of me no matter how hard I scrubbed.

Out of the shower and dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt, I went back downstairs. I must've been in the shower longer than I thought because there was takeout on the table. Damon wasn't eating any, but he'd ordered plenty for me. He nodded to the seat across from him. I took it.

Damon was patient. He waited until I'd taken at least a few bites of my food and watched to make sure I was eating it. By the time I'd reached for my third packet of duck sauce, I was tired of him staring at me.

"What?" I asked.

"I'm waiting." He said.

"For?"

"You to tell me what else happened."

I dropped the packet. "I told you guys everything."

"No, you told an edited version and no one was smart enough to figure it out."

"There isn't much to figure." I said.

Damon smirked. "Let's say that you're telling the truth. If Jonas didn't want anything from you and solely wanted Elena, he could've killed you and taken Jeremy. If he could find you in the woods like Jeremy says, he could also get Elena alone."

All very valid points. "Okay?"

"He didn't do any of those things. He came to you for the second time. Klaus might be after Elena and Jonas might be helping, but he said something to you today, something that scared you. You weren't there when I showed up."

"According to you and everybody else, I'm never there and always zoned out."

"You were done Bonnie." Damon said. "I know the look."

"Do you? I feel like if you did, you wouldn't keep pressing the issue." My annoyance flared.

"Have you met me?" His eyebrow raised.

I didn't want to talk about this anymore. I couldn't help thinking about it, but talking was an option.

"I told you everything." I insisted.

"You're lying." Damon replied.

"You would know." I all but hissed.

"Yeah, I would."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever."

He chuckled. "Still acting like this? Does it ever get you anywhere?"

"I don't need lessons in attitude from the guy who fought his brother for sleeping with his own girlfriend."

"Other things led to that fight, but point for you."

I shrugged.

"But that's not the point. What did Jonas say?"

"I already told you what he said. Asking me the same question isn't going to change the answer."

"Avoiding it isn't making you look over it either."

I was away from the table and heading up the stairs. Screw Damon.

He was following me. "You can't run from me in my own house."

"Then I'll go home."

"Without your keys?"

"If it's necessary."

We were upstairs now, in the room I'd been staying in. "Why can't you just leave me alone? Everything was fine before you started this."

"Nothing was fine. A warlock pulled you through the woods and said something that scared you. You're scared. The faster you admit that the better."

"I'm not scared of anything." I hissed at him as I packed my bag. "I'm just tired of everyone looking for some deeper meaning behind what I tell them. I'm sorry if Jonas didn't tell me everything about Elena. The bad guys usually don't."

"I didn't say he said anything about Elena." Damon leaned against the doorway. "I said the opposite as a matter of fact."

"Please, just call it what it is. That's you and Stefan's M.O. protect Elena at all cost. Kill whoever, bleed whoever, screw whoever, it's all for Elena and sue me if I can't come through right now."

Where was all of this coming from? Sure I felt it, I had for awhile now, but why was it coming out now?

"Again," Damon said. "I'm not talking about Elena. I want to know what Jonas said to _you_. Let's third person it so you don't get confused. Damon wants to know what Jonas said to Bonnie."

"And again, Bonnie already told Damon."

"No, she told a group of people what he didn't say. She confirmed the obvious and brought up more questions. I want to kn-"

"Why do you care?" I yelled. "You've never cared before. Ever."

"Because I've never seen you this scared."

"Why? Because when I get scared my magic turns off? I can't be useful? Is that it?"

"No."

"Then what is it?" I was still yelling. "It never mattered before!"

Damon didn't answer me. He just stared.

"You all treat me like I'm some goddamn know it all! All of you. I've lost everything because of you! My mother, my grandmother, my life! I give all of you everything, I give everything and it's still not enough! You make me feel horrible because I can't do a spell, you make wisecracks because my magic screws up!"

He was nodding. "I know."

"You don't know anything! You ruin everything! I'm tired of being scared for my life and I'm tired of being scared for all of yours. I'm so sick of everyone telling me about _my _magic. What to do with it, why I'm not powerful, why this won't work. None of you know what it's like to constantly give and give and give and to always lose."

Damon took a step forward.

"Am I even real to you?" I asked. My vision blurred and my tears fell. "Am I even a person? Or am I just means to an end? Not once have you or Stefan ever told me thank you for what I've done. Not once have you or Stefan ever realized the magnitude of what I've gone through. It would be easier if I could at least do something for myself. One thing that's mine. I'm the same age as Elena, why can't anyone strive for my life to be normal?"

And then I was sobbing. The loud, ugly, kind that racks your shoulders and makes you shake. Damon caught me before I fell to the floor and held me close to him as I cried. He was whispering something in my ear but I couldn't understand him. It was like all of the anger and pain I'd ever felt was coming out of me and ruining Damon's shirt. I was so tired and I didn't even realize how much.

As much as I screamed about Elena, it was Jonas who'd really brought everything to the forefront. He'd shown me out there in that clearing just how much of everything wasn't mine. My body, my thoughts, my magic. All of it was because of magic or vampires or some happenstance. None of it was mine, it never had been.

Every time I tried to pull away from him, he held me tighter. It wasn't an iron grip or anything like that, but I couldn't move. The more I cried, the stupider I felt. The stupider I felt, the more I cried. I did want to help my friends, I loved Elena. I'd made a promise to myself that even if it killed me, I would defend her until the end. I needed Damon to let me go, I needed to stop crying.

"I'm fine." I said through sniffs.

"You're crying." He said.

"And I'm done." I tried to wipe my eyes, but my arms were pinned at my sides.

"My shirt says otherwise."

"Damon-"

"Believe it or not," He said. "I know how you feel."

I sniffed hard. "I doubt it."

"You decide one day that you're going to do the right thing and, for awhile, you do it. On some level you're happy that you're doing it and it feels good to be valued. No matter if you're living or dead, we all seek validation. But the one person that isn't validating you is yourself. It's easy to ignore it because you're doing so much good for others and you're sticking to your decision but the more people get used to it, the more it stops being your decision and starts being their expectation."

"And with expectations comes the low tolerance for want. If you don't want to help, you're selfish. If you want to do your own thing for awhile, you're self centered. Everyone needs your help and you need your help because after giving and sacrificing and conceding, you don't feel like there's much of you left. Then you try to do both. You try to fulfill your wants and their expectations and you think its working but it's not. Something is always lacking."

"So one day, you say fuck it." Damon continued. "You look around at what you're doing and there's no fulfillment. You've given, they keep asking, and suddenly it doesn't feel like it's what you want anymore. You lash out, you isolate, you break. Your friends look at you like you've lost it, they talk at and around you, barely to you. You do something stupid."

I'd stopped crying for real this time and looked at Damon.

"All of us have been there Bonnie, you aren't alone. The only difference is that you're the least selfish. You haven't had the time to do the things that you wanted, everything…you've had to do things a little earlier than the rest of us."

"I feel selfish." I said.

"You aren't."

"I don't want to die." It felt so good to say it. I was prepared to die, I would if I had to without a doubt, but I didn't want to.

"I know. "

"There are so many things I want to do with my magic. So much I haven't."

"Like?"

"I want to know about it as much as I can."

"We were doing that for awhile, I thought." He said.

I took a deep breath, let it out, then took another one. "Jonas told me why I may not be as powerful as I should be."

And then I was telling Damon everything. He'd given me space so that I could sit across from him, but he still stayed close to me. He listened to everything I said and nodded at the appropriate times. He let me ramble whenever I had a thought and was patient until I got back on subject. I told him about the personal balance versus the one of nature. I told him about the "ambiguous" comment Jonas had made.

"So what do you think?" I asked after moments of silence.

"I think that an asshole warlock tried to intimidate you, but he has a point."

"How so?"

"There's something inside of you that you aren't tapping into." Damon said. "When I knew Emily, she did some pretty dark things, but not because that was who she was. Being a powerful witch comes from embracing everything you have inside of you. You can't use light magic just because you deem it cleaner than another spell. You can't avoid the darkness because it's there and you're afraid of it."

"But what about the witches who've overused magic to the point of death?"

"That comes with knowing your limits. It's like a weightlifter. They don't go from lifting fifty pounds to two hundred. You have to practice magic, the entire aspect of it. There is no this magic and that magic. Practice all of it and find where you stand."

I thought about it. I'd only ever given one aspect of magic a chance. To help, to heal, to save. What would happen if I used magic to do none of those things? What would happen if I used magic to do the opposite? Could I explore the darkest arts in an attempt to become powerful? Grams had told me that self knowledge was the most powerful thing of all, but if I kept letting everyone else teach me about it instead of finding it myself, I'd never be truly powerful.

"I've never done anything I really consider dark. I've pushed boundaries, but I've never-"

"And if it's something you want to do, we'll do it."

"We?" I ask.

"Unless you want Caroline to help you?" Damon asked.

"It's not that, it's just…why? Why help me?"

"Because there are things that want us dead and you need it. Whatever they have planned it's big and we need you to be on your A game."

"What if I'm not ready?" I asked.

"Then we'll wait until you are. Don't take forever."

After everything was said and done, and I'd eaten all of the takeout I could, I was tired. The day I'd had, the month I was having so far, had completely wiped me out. I wanted sleep, lots of it, and since tomorrow was Saturday I planned on getting it. I changed out of my jeans and slipped under the covers. I texted everyone to let them know I was fine and sort of rescheduled with Jeremy. I did it more to make him feel better than anything, but a little piece of me wanted to see how it'd turn out.

I woke up the next morning and felt surprisingly better about everything. The sun was bright through the huge window, and I could hear music coming from downstairs. I climbed out of bed and went into the bathroom. After I brushed my teeth and did my hair, I got dressed in my favorite pair of jeans and a tank top. I hadn't remembered bringing them, the last place I knew they were on the chair behind the desk in my room, but I shrugged. That whole day was a blur, maybe I'd grabbed them.

The music coming from downstairs was one of those old numbers that sounded like it came anywhere from the forties to the sixties. The farther I stepped out of the room, the louder the music got. Soon is was all I could hear, blasting through the whole house. I knew from random parties here that the Salvatores had speakers lined throughout the house, but this wasn't their taste. Stefan had a thing for U2 and Bon Jovi and Damon didn't strike me as the upbeat type.

I jogged down the stairs smiling. If Damon wanted to listen to that, he could. After our talk yesterday, it was nice to have someone who understood me and where I was coming from with my feelings. I was tired of feeling bad for wanting other things in my life. I was tired of feeling like a magic factory all the time. Although I hadn't gotten the chance to ask Damon what it was exactly that made him feel all of those things, I don't think I needed to.

I slipped on the last step and fell hard to the floor.

I groaned as I pushed myself off the hardwood and found something sticky on my arms and the right side of my face. Pennies, I smelled pennies. Something wet was soaking into the pant leg of my jeans. When I looked down all I could see was red.

I scrambled away from it, but that only seemed to get more of it on me. Blood was in the hallway and led into the Salvatore living room. My breathing quickened, my pulse thudded in my ears. Something was wrong, very wrong, and I had a feeling it was only going to get worse.

I slid myself up the wall to my feet and walked shakily into the living room. The music was so loud now, it took over everything. I could barely hear myself think. Everyone was in the living room, all of my friends. Even Matt had made an appearance, which was something he never did unless he had to. Everyone was in their usual spots, but all facing away from me. All I could see was the back of their heads.

"Guys," I said, but the music was too loud.

I stepped around the main couch and screamed.

Everyone was dead.

Caroline had a stake through her heart. Her skin was that hideous ashen blue and veins had blossomed over it. Her eyes were alive and staring at nothing, she didn't blink as I backed away. Elena's throat and wrists had both been split, her skin a sickly blue olive. Jeremy's neck was broken. Matt's throat was ripped out. Stefan had been staked as well, but deeper. The wood almost barely visible in his chest. It was Damon's that scared me the most.

His heart had been torn from his chest.

Damon's skin looked like Caroline's and when I touched him, he was finally the cold I'd been expecting. The veins were over his face, his lips were dark. It looked like him and it didn't. his shirt was bloody and there was a hole the size of a man's fist over the left side. His eyes were milky and glazed over, the blue ruined by actual death. It was what sent shock waves through my body.

I woke up screaming.

Damon was in my room in an instant, full vampire mode. His head jerked from left to right and then his eyes landed on me. My face felt wet and my body felt cold.

"What happened?' he asked.

I shook my head. "I had a nightmare, I'm sorry."

Damon's eyes narrowed and he came closer to me. I t wasn't until he was standing right beside me that I realized just how shirtless he was. He wore pajama pants, black of course, but that didn't take away from the paleness of his torso. No matter how freaked out I was, somehow I'd managed to notice it and bare trace of hair that led into his paj-

Damon shoved his nose in my hair and sniffed.

"What are you-"

"You smell like magic. Not yours."

As soon as Damon touched me, I calmed down instantly. It was like I'd gone from being completely freaked out to being unfathomably mellow in a heartbeat. I could also, when I paid attention, feel something leaving my aura. The nightmare was still fresh, but certain things were becoming harder to make out. Coming down the stairs, seeing the bodies, they were leaving me…

Jonas had sent me a nightmare.

I'd heard of witches being able to do that, but I'd never actually experienced it. I shouldn't have been surprised, however I was. Jonas had taken getting into my head to a totally different level, and it was almost as worse as reading my mind. Only this time, he was putting things in it.

"Jonas." I said.

"He made you dream?" Damon asked.

"He sent me a nightmare. It's a spell, something minor."

Damon nodded. "Are you okay?"

I nodded furiously, wiping the tears from my face. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."

"What was the dream about?" Damon asked.

"All of you were dead. Caroline, Elena, Jeremy, Matt, the two of you." I said.

Damon rolled his eyes. "That's original."

"It's freaking me out." I confessed.

He disappeared for a second and came back with water. I thanked him.

As he was heading back towards the door, I realized the feeling of fear was coming back. This time, it had nothing to do with any leftover magic from Jonas's nightmare, but my own fear in general.

"Damon." I called to him.

He was almost out of the door and then he turned around. "Yeah?"

"Could you...I don't…" I couldn't get the words out. Everything in my head sounded wrong and out of place and everything on my tongue got stuck and would probably sound garbled. I'd been about to tell him good night when he turned off the light and closed the door. When he walked back over to the bed, he reached over me, grabbed a pillow, and tossed on the floor. He lay on his back with his hands behind his head. He didn't say anything, didn't make a joke, didn't do anything that I'd been waiting for him to do.

"Thanks." I muttered as I lay back down and faced away from him.

"No problem."

**A/N: Hey you guys. I'm pretty sketchy about the ending of this, but I saw the scene in my head and wanted it to happen so…yeah. There you go. I've noticed a lot of new followers and favorites so I say HELL YEAH and welcome to my little slice of Bamon goodness. Yes, in case you're wondering what was going on in the beginning, Bonnie did have a bit of a breakdown. A serious one. Luckily our favorite vampire has his attitude together and actually is looking out for her. Bonnie's thinking about darkness and Damon has agreed to help her with whatever she wants. While I still believe in the fact that Bonnie should move more with her magic, it's a completely different ballpark now. All of it will come to a head eventually, especially why Jonas told Bonnie what he did last chapter. ALSO We're getting very close to why Bonnie and Damon can feel each other. I'm surprised none of you have figured it out yet. I'm overjoyed that I get to fill you guys in on it. Also, because I hate writers who just fall off after awhile, (it's rude) I'm going to fill you guys in. I'm working the: 20****th****-28****th**** of this month. I'll be working on the next chapter until then, but I don't know when it'll be up. These things take time and I hope you'll stick with me. Read, Review, and if you have any questions I'll try to answer them in the next author's note. **

**Seriously. Read and Review. Review. Review. **

**Have a good night/morning!**


	14. Vitality

**A/N: I always feel like if I'm thanking you guys for reading it's like thanking fans or something, but I really mean it. You guys are awesome. I'd drink with all of you.**

I mean, if that's your thing.

Chapter Fourteen: Vitality

**Damon POV**

_You've had all the time in the world and you're still just as sad as you were the day you died._

Truth was a weapon. It cut sharper than any blade, sounder louder than any bullet, and ran deeper than any stake. It was something that pierced every level of who you were and planted itself deep into the core of your soul and twisted its way into your mind. To most, the truth was often never found and often very hard to come by.

To Bonnie Bennett, it was as plain as day.

Staring into those hazel green eyes filled with heated defiance and solid morals, I wanted to kill her. I salivated as I thought about sinking my fangs into her jugular and letting the truth bleed out of her. I could strangle her until she loosened up and got off that fucking high horse of hers. I could rip the life out of her and ruin her.

Just like she'd ruined me.

I grabbed her so fast I didn't remember doing it. She needed to get away from me, I needed to get away from her. I sped out of my room and tossed her into the one she was sleeping in. She hit the bed with a loud thump and I slammed the door before I could change my mind. I seethed as I walked, naked, back to my bedroom. I slammed the door as hard as I could, rattling the window on the right side of the room.

Stupid little bitch.

Judgmental prude.

I was enraged. I ran my hands over my hair and stared around my room. I could smell her everywhere, like lavender and honey. She'd touched the classics I kept on the floor beside my bed and paid extra attention to the Dream of The Rood. The air that came from the bathroom carried her scent and replayed her words over and over again in my head. I felt the veins pulse around my eyes as my vision grew sharper. My fangs extended and longed for the kill.

I dressed quickly and left. I felt like a coward for letting a seventeen year old girl run me out of my own house, but I was doing us both a favor. If I stayed there any longer I'd do something I would've regretted later. As much as I wanted to throttle the shit out of her, a part of me knew she shouldn't have to pay for my bad mood.

And they said I had no self control.

I got in my car and sped from the house. I put in my favorite Nine Inch Nails CD and pressed my foot down hard on the gas. Mystic Falls blew by in a blur of boring and small town bullshit, making me realize this town was driving me crazy. I missed the city and the lights. I missed what they could do for a vampire and the anonymity they allowed.

No matter how far I drove, I could still feel Bonnie in the back of my mind like a sense I couldn't use. I could feel a small amount of her feelings and the first one I picked up on was guilt. Did she feel bad for what she'd said to me? Was she pitying me? Her emotions were all over the place flickering like lights in my head, and I found myself speeding away from it as fast as I could.

Three hours later I was in a bar in Richmond drinking my fifth glass of whiskey. The woodsy smell and taste combined with the spice and fire as it burned down my throat was almost enough to calm me down. When I'd first come in here, I could smell that the bartender watered down his liquor in order to make a more money off his customers. A few seconds and a little compulsion and he was giving me top shelf on the house.

As the buzz from the drinks kicked in, I noticed something. Bonnie was getting quieter. Not even quieter per say, it was more like she was being muted. She would fade out like the end of a song and then come back at a lower volume than before.

I snapped out of it. From the furthest left corner of the bar, I could hear a group of women talking. They were older, well older than I looked, and I could hear everything they were talking about. They wondered who I was, obviously I was new. None of them had ever seen me around here before, as if Richmond were so small everyone knew each other.

The blonde kept telling her brunette friend how long it'd been since she'd fucked a college student. I heard her say how energetic the young ones were and how they could fuck you within an inch of your life. Did I really look that young? I'd been twenty two when I was turned, but I always thought I looked older.

I turned to look at them.

The brunette was the prettiest, with long chestnut colored hair and big bark blue eyes. She was also dressed the best in a simple burgundy dress that would rip if I pulled hard enough. Her blonde friend had sex appeal and knew it. Probably the woman Caroline would've grown up to be if Katherine hadn't gotten to her. The other woman, a darker blonder, looked like a clown with all the eye shadow. I played with the thought of which one I'd leave with, if not all of them, then I focused on the brunette.

I winked.

She was over to me in twenty seconds, the first fifteen of which she spent looking back and forth between her friends. "Take the plunge," one of the blondes said. "For once in you goddamn life, take the plunge." She walked over and sat on the stool beside me, pulling out her credit card and ordering two of whatever I was drinking. I smirked. She was bold. I liked it.

"What's your name?" She asked.

I raised an eyebrow. "What do I look like?"

She crossed her legs and looked me over. "Too tall to be a Justin and too serious to be a Jake. Christian? Edward?"

The bartender put down our glasses and I took a swig. "Not an Ashton?"

She shook her head. "Too sexy for an Ashton."

I watched as she took a sip from her glass and peered at me over the rim. I knew what she wanted, I could smell it coming off of her and it wasn't because her friends told her to "take the plunge". I could see it in her eyes that if it hadn't been me, it would've been someone else. She was on a mission. I'd help her out.

"Damon." I said, putting sex and promises in my voice.

Her eyelids lowered, and her own smirk appeared as she leaned towards me. "And what do I look like?"

I turned to face her, grabbing her stool and yanking it closer to me. She jumped a little, but I knew that she liked it from the way she leaned in further. I ran my hand up her leg and stopped on her knee, stroking my thumb over her thigh. I looked into her eyes and pushed at her mind, willing it to open. It did, easily, and she was mine.

"Where's your husband?" I asked.

"I'm divorced."

"Kids?"

"None."

"How old are you?"

"Today's my twenty ninth birthday." She smiled.

Lovely. "Ask me again."

She blinked. "What do I look like?"

I leaned in close, putting my hand on her shoulder and getting close to her ear.

"You look like you want me to fuck you."

She shivered, I was amused.

"Is that what you want?" I asked.

She nodded. "Yes."

"Say it." I commanded.

"I…" She stopped. "I want you to fuck me."

I raised my glass to her and down the rest of the whiskey. In the back of my mind, I felt Bonnie grow quieter and quieter until she wasn't there at all. I wasn't drunk, but I had a pretty good feeling going on, and the space that Bonnie usually occupied was dulled to a low hum. Good. I would take this woman back to her place, fuck her senseless, and forget about Mystic Falls for one damn night.

She said goodbye to her friends and I had somewhere to sleep for the night. Marie, that was her name, stayed in an apartment right in the middle of the city. In the car, neither of us said a word as I sped through the streets and pulled into the parking garage.

Marie grabbed my hand and pulled me towards a black door, tapping her keycard against the reader. When the light turned green, she opened the door and kissed me as she backed inside. I felt her hands lift the front of my shirt and touch the bulge in the front of my jeans.

Against the wall I positioned myself between her legs and grinded my pelvis against hers. She was fumbling with something in her purse and trying to entertain me at the same time, but I was winning. I nipped at her earlobe as she dropped her keys, and squeezed her breasts as she tried to catch her breath.

"Hang on," she groaned as she bent down to pick up her keys. "We're here."

Inside, I didn't bother wasting time. I ripped off her dress and crushed my lips down on hers. She moaned as I parted her lips with my tongue and pushed herself against me. I reached between us and slid my hand down the front of her panties, massaging her already wet folds and slipping one of my fingers inside.

She whimpered into my mouth and spread her legs a little more. I slid another one of my fingers inside of her and trapped her between me and her kitchen counter. I stroked her slowly, matching the rhythm of my tongue as I kissed her. She quaked around my fingers and bit down on my bottom lip, as I swallowed her moans.

I snatched her bra and tore off her panties. With a flick of my fingers, my jeans were around my ankles. Her eyes gleamed with excitement as she looked me over, taking in every detail to probably share with those other bitches she'd been with. She grabbed me at the base of my dick and pulled me towards her opening, I looked down at her.

"You're perfect." She moaned as I slid inside of her, her eyes fluttering closed.

I leaned my head back and let my fangs extend. "And hungry."

"Hmm?" she opened her eyes.

I struck at her neck like a cobra piercing the skin and puncturing the vein. I lapped at her blood and I thrust in and out of her, covering her mouth with my hand and muffling her moans. I snaked my other arm under her back and brought her down every time I moved my hips back and forth. Her eyes were rolling back and her jaw had gone slack. I felt her muscles clench with her orgasm and her legs shake on either side of my waist as I drove into her.

_You've had all the time in the world and you're still just as sad as you were the day you died._

I pulled away from her neck and backed away. Marie's head lolled to one side and she stared at me through half closed eyes.

"What happened?" she asked.

I licked the blood off my teeth and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand. "Nothing."

She sat up weakly and touched her neck. "Did…did you bite me?"

"Yes, yes I did." I said.

"Fuck that was amazing." She moaned, reaching between her legs and touching herself. "Best birthday ever."

I could still hear Bonnie's voice in my head, I tried to shake it off. "Glad you enjoyed yourself."

"I-" she started.

"Should go to sleep now." I said, pushing my will on hers. She was out instantly.

After I healed the wound on her neck and put her in bed, I helped myself to her shower. Somehow the truth had found me three hours away and it sickened me that Bonnie had been the one to expose it. The quiet little witch who wore too many floral shirts and had a stone to cast at everyone's decision had seen me for who I really was.

And she was absolutely right.

The second I woke up in transition, I hated myself. Stefan was still dead on the ground but I could hear and feel everything, even my body dying. My heart thumped slow and off beat, I could taste blood in my mouth. The wound from where my father shot me stung and itched. I stumbled through the woods and back to town seeing the church I thought Katherine was in go up in flames.

It was all for nothing. Everything was for nothing.

The sadness that overcame me was crippling. It was like all of the meaning and purpose and thirst for life had left me, just like it had four years ago. It seemed like every woman I loved had been taken from me by this town, and I was left with nothing.

I wanted to die.

And then there was Stefan. When he woke up and killed our father…I didn't know how to feel. On one hand I thought it was poetic justice. The perfect son, the golden boy, the one everyone loved had finally become the one thing my father couldn't stand. On the other hand, that last living parent I had was gone and the Salvatore family was in ruins.

When I stepped out of the shower, I took a good long look at myself. It was identical to the morning I left Mystic Falls for the first time. My eyes stared at nothing, my lips were parted, my face was blank. I was done with everything, gone on my life. I didn't know where to go or what to do and I didn't want to.

I chose to sleep on the couch. Marie had huge dark covers on her windows, completely encasing the place in darkness like I liked it. When I closed my eyes, it felt like there was nothing around me and I could fade away. I couldn't remember the last time I'd been to sleep, but I let myself fall.

The next morning, I compelled Marie to forget almost everything about me. My name, too descript features. She had a happy birthday and great sex, that was all she knew.

Warmth exploded in my chest and tingled through my limbs. I heard wind in my ears and felt a breeze on my face and hair. There was the feeling of being light and weightless, suspended in the air and staying there. Considering I was in my car in the parking garage, it could only be one thing.

Bonnie was using magic.

And it felt like the first time I'd felt her use it. Warm with wind and earth. I could smell the pine in the woods and taste the earth on the back of my tongue. I knew she was near the old Lockwood place exactly five feet away from the dungeon down there.

She stopped.

A voice whispered through my head, muffled and low. I felt her block something, or someone, and then there was a sharp tug on my abdomen. Something was off. I called Stefan and got no answer, called Elena same thing. Alaric told me he was a few hours away but would try to get back as quickly as possible. I needed to get back.

I held onto the feeling of Bonnie's magic and used it to guide me. Something was happening to her but I couldn't tell what it was. I could feel that she was scared, angry, confused. No one was answering their phones. Why wasn't anyone answering their goddamn phone?

The Gilbert house was where I found her and everyone else. Everyone looked up when they saw me walk in, but Bonnie didn't move. They were all standing around the living room with grim expressions with Stefan and Jeremy being the only ones talking. Bonnie had straightened her hair since the last time I'd seen her, and she was wearing some ridiculous purple sweatshirt.

It wasn't until I walked over to the fireplace that I really saw what was going on.

Bonnie was out of it, utterly and completely. She was staring into space, but this time she didn't even pretend to look interested in what was going on around her. Whatever she was thinking, wherever she was, I couldn't feel her anymore. Since that first day in the woods, I could always feel her annoying and bouncing in the back of my head. Standing in front of her now, I couldn't feel anything.

Jonas.

She was looking at me, but only because I'd occupied a space in front of the fireplace. I recognized the look all too well. The parted lips and blank stare. The barely breathing and the motionlessness. Bonnie had the same expression I'd had in the mirror.

Bonnie was done.

I stepped in front of her and kneeled. Elena said my name.

"She's not saying anything Damon." Elena said. "She's been like this since she got here."

I looked back at Bonnie. She hadn't blinked.

"Wake up." I told her.

Nothing, there was nothing.

"Wake up." I repeated.

A stir. I felt a stir in the deepest part of my mind.

I remembered the last time I'd touched her, really touched her. It was in the bathroom when I was healing her neck and rubbing my blood into her skin. We'd kissed each other for the second time, bodies moving closer until she couldn't move. I remember how deep the connection went, how I'd gone from feeling her in the back of my head to only feeling her at all.

I put my hand on her knee, thumb finding the hole, and the stirring intensified.

"Bonnie, wake up."

And like that, I could feel her again in the back of my head.

Bonnie blinked and looked around. I knew from the confused glint in her eyes she couldn't remember how she'd gotten here and for a second I wondered if she let Jeremy drive. I killed the thought immediately, she was too by the book. Jeremy was fifteen and without a learner's. He wasn't driving anything.

I felt her thinking again, emotions so fleeting it was almost impossible to keep up. I could feel her going back into that place of being done again, her eyes were starting to blank out again.

I snapped my fingers.

"Sorry." She said.

Back at the Boarding house, I took away the big spell book Alaric had given her and she went upstairs. She'd lied to everyone earlier, I knew it like I knew how to feed. It was like every time she got to a question she didn't fully want to answer, a pause would form in my head and then continue. She was hiding something about Jonas, I knew it.

She got angry. "Do you? I feel like if you did, you wouldn't keep pressing the issue."

She knew better. "Have you met me?"

After she stormed off upstairs she brought up Elena. Always Elena. I could see why she would. Everything happened because of Elena because everything happened to her. It wasn't her fault by any means, but even I could admit she couldn't keep herself out of danger.

"I'm not scared of anything." She spat, throwing her things in her bag. "I'm just tired of everyone looking for some deeper meaning behind what I tell them. I'm sorry if Jonas didn't tell me everything about Elena. The bad guys usually don't."

"I didn't say he said anything about Elena." Damon I folded my arms. "I said the opposite as a matter of fact."

A few seconds later, Bonnie broke down.

"You all treat me like I'm some goddamn know it all! All of you. I've lost everything because of you! My mother, my grandmother, my life! I give all of you everything, I give everything and it's still not enough! You make me feel horrible because I can't do a spell, you make wisecracks because my magic screws up!"

She was right.

"Am I even real to you? Am I even a person? Or am I just means to an end? Not once have you or Stefan ever told me thank you for what I've done. Not once have you or Stefan ever realized the magnitude of what I've gone through. It would be easier if I could at least do something for myself. One thing that's mine. I'm the same age as Elena, why can't anyone strive for my life to be normal?"

We were ingrates of the worst kind and used Bonnie far beyond what was necessary. In trying to keep Elena safe, Stefan and I had completely ruined her best friend. I caught Bonnie before she got all the way to the floor and pulled her against me. She sobbed into my chest as I stroked her. For some reason, I started speaking Italian. My mother had always done it to me and Stefan whenever we were having bad moments, and it always helped.

When I got her to calm down, Bonnie was confessed something. Something I don't think she would have to anyone else.

"I don't want to die."

It was then, staring into her eyes that I saw it. The thing that made her so much different from her friends. Elena had the longing for adventure and passion, while somehow managing to keep her compassion towards others. Elena wanted the same thing as every other teen girl, to be swept away and consumed. Caroline wanted the superficial things that came with life. She had the goals, the ambitions, the drive towards achieving all of the things she thought she should.

But Bonnie? Bonnie had vitality.

I could see it in her eyes as she wiped away her tears and met my own. The life that brimmed from her, the yearning for more. Not adventure, not magazine goals, the real thing. Bonnie wanted to live and she meant it. It shone from within her and sparkled like diamonds in her eyes. She wanted to shine in the excitement of self knowledge and face whatever life had for her head on.A warm feeling spread through my chest. Bonnie wasn't using magic.

That feeling was what led me to agree to help her if she decided to explore the "darkness" as Jonas put it. For some reason, I knew that I would be with Bonnie start to finish on the whole thing, and I knew that she trusted me. I knew that we trusted each other. Outside of everything, Bonnie was probably the most rational out of her friends and it made it easy to respect her.

After the Jonas nightmare and bonnie had fallen asleep, I looked at her. Her smooth caramel honey skin looked warm against the stark white of the pillow, long lashes fluttering slightly as she slept. I found myself caressing her forehead and she sighed, leaning into my touch. I felt peace running through whatever part of her I could feel in my head, and that she liked me touching her. I clenched my jaw.

So did I.

**A/N: ANNOUNCEMENT: I Will be working the 20****th****-28****th**** of this month. I'm working on chapters, but if I'm not updating as frequently as you'd like, you know why. I had a good day today. Let's pray for more of those. **

**So the chapter was horrible for me, which Idk I kind of think, I trust you guys to let me know. The purpose of this was to answer what happened between Damon leaving and coming back being nicer to Bonnie. And to further express the feelings growing between them. With Damon kind of on an Elena hiatus (see chapter 8) there's room for something to happen. The Damon POV's are usually shorter because they're usually just his side of the story, but I'm not into completely retelling the whole thing. Sorry. Keep in mind, that being true to Damon's character means that he's still very much in love with Elena, but he really can't deny what's happening with Bonnie even if it is gradual. I always feel like I'm not writing the best I could or ugh…idk. Like I said, I trust you guys to call bullshit. Anyway, I also wanted to give you guys a look into what it was like On Damon's end regarding Bonnie's magic. I know sometimes it seems like Damon just has this insight into who bonnie is and all that, well now you know why. I'm working on the next chapter (Back to Bonnie) but I will say this. Depending on how the writing goes, you will DEFINITELY be finding out why Bonnie and Damon can feel each other. It's not even funny how legit it is that you'll be finding out. Read, Review, Review, ReFREAKINGview. It helps me write. **


	15. Familiar

**A/N: Things are going to get very, very, interesting. **

Chapter 15: Familiar

"Focus." Damon said.

I nodded and inhaled deeply. We were sitting on the floor of the living room facing each other. The both of us were cross legged and straight backed, eyes focused on each other. There was nothing but silence and the sound of the grandfather clock ticking on the wall behind Damon. I focused on myself, how much I wanted to stay guarded.

Damon was staring at me with intent. He'd chosen a very form fitting black Nine Inch Nails shirt that hugged every muscle in his upper body. The band's logo was stretching over his chest and the sleeves strained against his biceps. His hair looked like it had gotten longer or maybe he was wearing it differently today. It completely covered his ears and the thick black bangs hung in his eyes. I could see his hairline a lot more clearly, and I found that I liked it. He'd fed before we started this, wanting to be at his full strength, and I could see it in his coloring. His skin was rosier, his cheeks were redder.

His face turned into the vampire and he lunged at me.

I yelped and scooted backwards as Damon shook his head. He was still sitting the same position he had when we started, which meant he hadn't moved. He'd gotten inside of my head again, and put the thought in there he was attacking me. I'd heard Elena say something about vampire mind tricks before, Katherine having used it on Stefan, but I didn't know it was that immediate.

Damon sighed. "What happened?"

"I don't know." That shirt with .

"That's not good enough." He said directly. "You can't not know whenever Jonas decides to dreamscape."

I knew he was right. Last night was the second time Jonas had gotten in my head and I was tired of it already. Damon had come up with the idea that if we could strengthen my mental barriers to the point of keeping another vampire out, the same would probably work for Jonas. It was better than the idea I'd had, which was to hang charms on the walls around the bed.

"What are you thinking about when you're focusing?" He asked.

"Shouldn't I not be thinking about anything?"

"That's not possible. The brain is made to think. You might clear your mind, but even then you're thinking about clearing it. We need to give you a focus point."

"I usually try to focus on you." I said.

"That's not smart. If I want you to think I'm attacking you, then I'm exactly what I want you to focus on. Look behind me, at the clock."

I did. It was one of those big dark numbers with a heavy silver pendulum. The framework was beautiful and the carving was elaborate, much like all the other wood I'd seen in the house so far. I wondered who did all of it, maybe it was left over from the days of old. It was still kept up really well.

Damon lunged again. I jumped.

"You're bouncing between unfocused and easily distracted. Jonas is going to have a field day with you."

I wondered if he'd ever gone to a field day. "On the bright side, I found my focus point."

"Good. Use it."

I kept my eyes on the center of Damon's face, but focused on the swinging pendulum behind him. I let the steady back and forth ease my unfocused thoughts and pictured steel barriers in my mind. I followed the rhythm of the clock and paid attention to the seconds between swings. One, two, three. One, two, three.

The pendulum froze. Nothing happened.

And then it kept going again. The seconds I counted where off and the rhythm was ruined. Damon hadn't budged at all, and I watched as the satisfied smirk spread over his lips.

"Good job, witch." He nodded.

My brow furrowed. "That's it?"

Damon nodded. "For the simple stuff. There won't always be a clock for you to focus on and you won't always be in a place to expect it, but for the most part, yeah. That's it."

"But am I supposed to go around constantly finding focal points?" I asked.

"Just focus on keeping your barriers in place. Do it in the morning when you wake up, check them during the day, do it before you go to sleep."

"Is that what you do?" I asked.

"Sometimes." He replied.

"And others?" I asked.

"Depends."

I raised an eyebrow. "So you like your mind invaded from time to time?"

His smirk deepened. "From time to time."

"Why?" I asked, thinking about Jonas. "It feels horrible."

"Not during sex."

Whoa. What?

"Wait. You invade people's mind during sex?"

"Not people's. Girls. And most of the time it's another vampire."

"I'm still not seeing why that's pleasurable." I said. "And don't tell me it's because I'm a virgin, I can still grasp a concept."

Damon laughed. It might've been the only time I'd ever heard him do it. One of those deep rich sounds that you felt in your chest and that traveled up his face and touched his eyes. I could see his teeth, probably the only thing whiter than him, and I found myself smiling. Damon was infectious.

"I forget how funny you are sometimes." He said.

"Regular riot." I said.

"Seriously," he told me. "Everybody else is either bitchy or subpar. I can appreciate humor every now and then."

"Glad I can help." I meant it, though I hoped I sounded sarcastic. "Now explain."

"It intensifies everything. Not only is it physical, it's mental. I'm in your head just as much as I'm inside your-"

"Got it." I said. "Got it."

He raised an eyebrow. "I thought you could grasp a concept?"

"Concept grabbed." I said.

Damon smirked. "One of the points I'm making is that it's not always a bad experience. In any case you can use it to your advantage."

"Tell me." I said.

"When someone gets into your head, the whole purpose of it is fear. Usually someone is so scared or out of it that they don't even notice the minor details that'd tip them off."

I knew what he meant instantly. This morning when I woke up, for real this time, I'd fished through my bag and pulled out all the clothes. My favorite jeans and the ones I wore in the dream weren't in there. They were still in my room where I'd left them. If I'd paid more attention to something like that, who knows what would've happened.

"In any case," Damon continued. "It's still _your_ dream and in _your_ head. You can do anything you want in there, no matter how it starts out."

Interesting. "So you're saying if you got in my head, I could mess with your head too?"

"If you worked at it." He said.

"Do you…" I paused. "Do you think I could use it on Jonas?"

"Maybe." Damon said. "But using magic to get into someone's thoughts is kind of-"

"Dark." I finished for him. "I know."

He sighed. "Doing magic like that doesn't make you dark. You know that."

Did I? Grams had told me some pretty crazy things about what happened to witches when they used dark magic. The creepiest thing had to have been what happened to our souls. A witch who used dark magic had a mark on her aura and a stain on her soul. "The other side" as she called it, was determined by a witch's magical dealings.

"Everything is judged, Bonnie." She told me. "Even the supernatural. Only you can determine the outcome."

I hadn't paid that much attention to it at the time because I was still in that stage where being a witch either fascinated me or freaked me out. Besides, I hadn't even cast my first spell, so I wasn't too worried about it. And honestly? I'd never really given too much thought to judgment. My father was agnostic and had raised me as such. If there was a God, fine. If there wasn't, you still made the effort to be a decent person anyway. My soul had never really be an issue when it came to magic, and with them always reappearing to me, I hadn't taken them seriously.

Maybe I should.

But regardless of what I thought about souls and judgment and things like that, more magic was required. The book Alaric had given me wasn't completely translated, but from what I'd read it was pretty intense. Undoing the spell on the blood of a doppelganger could go one of two ways.

The first was that if I was powerful enough, it what do the exact thing I said in the kitchen that day with Alaric. The spell would be removed from Elena's blood thus removing the spell from the Originals. They would lose a significant amount of their abilities and could probably be taken down. The only thing about that was that if that happened, Stefan, Damon, and Caroline would feel some kind of backlash.

We'd cross that bridge if we got there.

The second was that if my magic wasn't strong enough I could end up killing myself and everything involved with the Doppelganger. Me, Caroline, Stefan, Damon, and the Originals would all die because I hadn't leveled up properly. That option was so last resort it may as well not even exist.

What was even more required was taking down Jonas. It was nonnegotiable at this point. I didn't know why he was coming after me or what he wanted in general, but if he was working with Klaus again he had to be stopped for good. There was no telling what else he was plotting on his own, but I promised myself the next time I did come into contact with him it would be different.

I would strike back.

"If I could set something up," Damon said. "Would you be up for it?"

"Possibly…" I narrowed my eyes. "What is it?"

He smirked. "You don't trust me?"

I cocked my head. "More than I should, as of late."

"Then let me do this." He said. "If we do it and you don't feel like it's helping, then we stop."

"Okay, that doesn't sound ominous at all."

"It's very ominous, but you need it."

We made eye contact then, and I knew my answer was yes. The last time Damon had a plan, it was to kill Klaus and, from what I'd heard, it'd been flawless. The only reason it hadn't worked because Stefan had been compelled to kill Damon had anything happened to him. Elena still talks about the plan and how close they'd all gotten. It gave me a fonder respect for Damon, and a deeper trust I hadn't realized I had.

"Yeah. I'll trust you."

He looked surprised. The raised eyebrow kind. "Really? Why, Bonnie I must say I'm shocked."

"Well," I said, putting on a British accent. "If you're going to be teaching me Occlumency, I don't really have a choice do I?"

Damon's face blanked. "Don't do that again."

Huh? "The Harry Potter reference or the accent?"

"Both." He said as he got up. "I've got calls to make."

When he disappeared from the room, I called my dad. I hadn't heard from him in a while and I realized with everything going on, he was probably the only normal thing that I had. When he answered, he sounded excited to hear from me. He told me things were going great and that, if a couple interns got off their asses, he should be home sometime next Tuesday. When Damon reentered the room, I told my dad I loved him and that I'd call him back.

"Good news." Damon said. "I got everything set up."

"That fast?" I asked.

"Called in a few favors." He said. "Besides, everyone answers when I call."

"Right." I said. "So are you still not going to tell me what it is?"

He shook his head. "Nope, but I will tell you this."

"What?"

"I'm picking you up after school Friday."

And because he hadn't told me anything and I didn't know what was going on, Friday took longer than it usually did. Matt had completely let me off the hook and, when I told him Jonas was alive, he didn't seem surprised.

"Not the weirdest shit to ever happen." Matt said, popping a tater tot in his mouth.

"He was dead, Matt, I saw it happen." I said.

"So was Caroline and she came back with a bitchy vengeance too."

A paper ball nailed Matt in the side of the head. We turned and looked in the direction it'd come from and saw Caroline wagging her middle finger as she talked to some of the yearbook staff on the other side of the cafeteria. Matt chuckled and looked back at me.

"Do you ever miss her?" I asked.

"All the time." He said. "She has her moments, but she's still the only person who ever understood what it was like being alone. You were going through witch things and Elena was doing Stefan, and Caroline was the only one really there for me. She's deeper than a lot of people, including herself, give her credit for. Sometimes I regret breaking up with her, but I know she's happier with Tyler. "

I didn't exactly know about happier, per say, but I knew what he meant. It was easier for Caroline to be with someone who knew what she was going through and who she could help when he was going through it. Caroline could keep Tyler in line whenever being a hybrid got to crazy, but she couldn't help Matt pay his bills.

"What's been up with you lately?" he asked.

"Witch things." I said. "Nothing major, just trying to get better at it."

"You mean you aren't great already?" he asked.

"Long way to go, Matt. Long. Way. To go."

"I believe in you, Bon." He said. "If anyone can master Herbology, it's you."

I stared at him. "Harry Potter marathon?"

"My TV went out and all I could get was ABC Family."

We both laughed.

Caroline came up to us, hugged me, and kissed Matt on the cheek. It was a friendly thing, one he hadn't been expecting.

He blushed. "What was-"

"You know what it's for!" she said as she walked out of the cafeteria.

"So," Matt started. "What's up with you and Jeremy?"

I smiled. "Nothing, really. We were supposed to hang out, but I got sucked through the woods by a warlock."

"Like a Port Key?" Matt asked.

"What movie did you stop at?"

He looked down and said in a sheepish voice. "Order of the Phoenix."

I laughed. "No, not a Port Key. Felt like one though."

Matt nodded. "You know Jeremy likes you."

"I know he's interested." I replied.

"Oh bullshit, Bennett, he's always liked you."

"Really? Here I was thinking he liked Vikki."

"You were into David Hilson, at the time. You didn't notice."

I remember that crush. I wished I didn't. "Don't remind me and why didn't he say something?"

"What was he going to say? 'Hey Bonnie, I know I'm thirteen and all, but if you give me a chance I'll be all the man you need in two years'?"

"That was a whole lot, Matt."

"I'll work on it." He said. "But still, you mean to tell me you never thought about it?"

Once or twice, I'll admit, but the fact was that Jeremy had one too many ties to everything. Especially Elena. I didn't know how she'd react to us dating or even giving a real relationship a shot. It was probably a conversation I needed to have with him sooner or later.

"I have." I said.

"So what's stopping you?"

Other than him being Elena's little brother?

Damon.

It was something I realized Sunday night while he was teaching me the mind thing again. As he sat across from me in another black t-shirt and his hair wet from the shower he'd just taken, I realized I was attracted to him. I wasn't sure when it happened or how deep the attraction went, but I knew that I was. I'd known for awhile that I'd liked kissing him, but I didn't know if that was because it was always comforting at the time or because it'd been so long since I'd actually been kissed.

Either way, I wanted it to happen again.

And honestly, I figured it probably wouldn't. Something Damon said the last time he'd pulled away made me realize he wasn't going to do it again. Something about emotionally distressed girls and damn if that wasn't the shade I'd been wearing lately. Between vampire attacks, warlock attacks, and my own magic issues, I was as distressed as they came.

Shit.

"I just want to take it slow." I said. "We already agreed to reschedule for Saturday."

"Good." Matt said. "I think you guys would be pretty cool together."

"Don't try to masculine it up. You think Jeremy and I would be cute, don't you?"

"The cutest." Matt fluttered his eye lashes.

The rest of the day was pretty typical. Got an A on my chemistry homework and an A plus on my English. My teacher said I had a knack for deciphering a solid truth in interpretation, and he recommended I look into schools with good English programs. If I needed him too, he'd write my letter of recommendation despite that I was only a junior.

If I wasn't so worried about not making it to senior year or even this summer, I'd have been thrilled.

When three fifteen hit, I stopped by my lockers to drop off my books. I'd already done the homework in all of my other classes, and the thought made me smile when I thought about Damon calling me out on it. He'd been the only one to effectively guess it without ever having seen it happen, and he'd been right about my class order as well. That part was a little creepy.

As soon as I stepped out of the double doors, I saw him.

Standing next to his car, and matching it, Damon Salvatore with the perfect picture of Calvin Klein cool. He was leaning casually with his arms folded and his bangs in his eyes, biceps bulging testing the sleeves of his leather jacket. His feet crossed at the ankles, the loafers giving off that matte luster only expensive leather could, and his jeans stuck to him like they were made for him.

Above all of that he looked completely and utterly disinterested.

Girls walked by him and stared, especially the freshmen. The guys stared at his car, which I still hadn't found out the make and model of, and some of the junior girls recognized him. I heard Caroline and Elena's name a couple of times as I walked over to him. He smirked when I got close.

"You look confused." he said.

"I didn't really expect you to be out here." I said. Then I looked around. "Where's my car?"

"Took it back to your house." He said.

"You don't have the keys." I said, pulling them out of my purse for emphasis.

"I was around when they made the first car." Damon said. "I don't need a key."

I only stared.

"C'mon, we've got somewhere to be." He said.

I slid inside of his car and inhaled the smell of artificial cherries and leather. Putting on my seatbelt, I caught sight of some of the girls who'd been watching. Shock, confusion, and was that…jealousy? Why? They had to have seen me and him together at some point. I was tempted to flip my hair and wave at them, but that was a little too Caroline for me.

Damon pulled out of the parking lot and hit the main street rolling. I kept expecting him to stop whenever we got somewhere I was familiar with, but he didn't. As a matter of fact, the more things I saw that I knew, the faster he drove. When I looked over at the speedometer, Damon was going ninety. He wouldn't get pulled over, Caroline's mother was in town and all the other cops were lazy, but yikes.

It wasn't until we hit the highway that I got nervous. "Damon, where are we going?"

He smiled and looked over at me. "I thought you said you trusted me."

"I do trust you, but that doesn't answer my question."

"Does your question really need answering? You know me, you trust me, and you're powerful enough to get away from me if shit gets that real. Just relax, Bennett, enjoy the ride."

I made a face. "You sound like a generic television bad boy."

"No, I'm the prototype." He said.

A few minutes into the ride and I realized why Damon wore the Nine Inch nails shirt. He loved them. I didn't even know if love was really the word. He had the discography, the unreleased tracks, and when I looked at him out of the corner of my eye, I saw that he knew every word. His eyes focused on the road and his lips moved with every song.

He also drove like a bat out of hell.

We zoomed through traffic and broke so many road laws, I caught myself checking the mirrors for cops. Damon laughed when he saw what I was doing, but it wasn't until I saw my suitcase in the backseat that he turned the radio down and rolled his eyes.

"Is this the part where you start asking questions?" he asked.

"Yes!" I looked back and forth between him and the backseat. "Damon why is my suitcase in your backseat?"

"Because where we're going, you'll need it."

"I didn't pack anything." I said.

"I packed for you."

"You were in my room?" I shouted.

"Yes." He said. "Very nice underwear collection I might add."

I slapped his arm before I thought about it. He laughed.

"It's not funny, Damon."

"I agree, it's not." He said. "If you dressed half as sexy as your underwear drawer, you'd be amazing."

I was slapping his arm so hard this time, it was turning red.

"Hey, hey, hey." Damon play fought me off. "I'm driving."

"You were in my underwear drawer!" I folded my arms.

"Were you going to go commando all weekend?"

"All weekend?" I repeated.

"Bonnie, you really have to stop repeating things you clearly understand the first time."

"Damon!" I shrieked. "Where are we going?"

He pointed to a sign coming up on my side and clicked his tongue. Baltimore. Damon was taking me to Baltimore.

"What's in Baltimore?" I asked.

Damon's face got serious. "A couple things, Bonnie. One, you're getting a minimum of three more questions this entire care ride. I normally don't enforce shit like that, but you're the worst road trip passenger I've ever had in my life. That's a lot of years, marinate on it."

I folded my arms. That was a lot of years.

"Two. While we're there, you are to never call it Baltimore. Always Charm City, do you understand?"

"Why?" I asked.

"That counts as a question. You'll find out when we get there."

"Fine."

"And three. I asked you if you trusted me and you said yes. Anytime you've asked me for something I like to think I've done it. If you really can't get over yourself long enough to at least attempt something outside of your norm, then I'll get off at the next exit and turn around."

Damon and I locked eyes. I could see that he'd meant everything he said and, if I did decide to ask him to turn around, I'd lose all of the respect he had for me. The thought of that was worse than whatever he had waiting for us in Bal-Charm City.

"I'm waiting." He said.

"Two more questions, Charm City, trust you. Got it."

"Excellent." He said. "Now loosen up. You're not in Mystic Falls and you don't know what's going to happen. Stop being so uptight."

"Are the others going to be okay?" I asked. "I've never left Mystic Falls while Klaus was around."

"You only have one question left, I advise you to save it." Damon said, his eyes staring into the sun. "They'll be fine. Jeremy's staying at Alaric's because he's mad at Elena. Elena's staying at the Boarding house with Stefan and Caroline. Everything's taken care of."

It sounded like he'd thought of everything, at least, it seemed like he had. All of the bases were covered, the t's crossed and the I's dotted. Was there really anything else for me to ask him at all? Actually, and I hated that I was using my last question, but there was.

"My last question." I said.

"That was quick. We should teach you how to save things."

"I spend all of my time saving things." I said. "This is a pretty legit question."

"What is it?"

"Does anyone know where we're going or what we're doing?"

"That's two questions." Damon said.

"A question and a half." I reasoned.

"One that isn't necessary." He replied. "As far as they know, we're going to research Doppelgangers with one of my sources."

I looked at him and chose my words carefully. "That's not what we're doing."

He winked at me and put on his sunglasses. "No, it's not."

The highway sped under us as Damon blew down the highway like a madman. He cut people off so smoothly and effectively, picking up speed and leaving them in the dust before they could even think to honk. He made no stops which was fine because we didn't need any. Baltimore was a three hour drive easy. His music was loud again, and I found that there was actually a song or two that I knew. I slipped my feet out of my shoes and slowly raised them on to the dashboard. Damon smiled.

"You're getting it now. Loosen up."

I rolled down the window and let the wind touch my face. I realized for the first time in a long time, I was leaving Mystic Falls for something other than a funeral, a family visit, or to see my father. The possibilities made my stomach flip and my skin tingle with excitement. I didn't know what Damon had in mind, but just like Saturday, I knew that if he'd planned it this efficiently I could trust him.

The second we arrived, I knew why I could only call it Charm City.

It was like the air crackled with magic and hummed with power. I could feel my aura expanding, taking in my surroundings and reveling in all of the enchantment. I closed my eyes as the magic washed over me, kissing my face and whispering in my ears. I could do anything here, snatch the magic right of the air. It was everywhere, in the trees, the buildings, the streets. In inhaled slowly through my nose and exhaled through my lips.

Damon made a couple of terms and we came to an apartment building on the corner of the street. He parallel parked along the curb and got of the car. I followed him, but had to steady myself against the car first. The magic here was staggering, pelting against my skin like rain and tingling behind my eyes. I'd never felt so present in a place before.

Damon came around to my side with his own bags. "You okay?"

"Fine." I said dreamily.

He smirked and shook his head. "Grab your suitcase."

Once I did, I followed him inside the apartment building and into an elevator. Everything seemed was starting to lose its reality and was steadily becoming surreal. I was alone with Damon in another state. I'd be here for the weekend. I was breathing in so much magic, I could open five tombs and create a factory of daylight rings if I wanted. I could feel it playing with the ends of my hair, calling me and begging me to use it. I was new and it wanted to play with me.

My own magic wanted to come out and play.

We got off on the ninth floor and walked to the third door on the right, apartment 9C. Damon knocked three times and kicked the bottom with his foot. A few curse words, footsteps, and a door chain later, and we were face to face with a neon pink haired vampire.

"Damon, love!" the vampire asked excitedly in a British accent. The two men hugged. His eyes were amber colored and he was as skinny as a rail with a sleeveless shirt and skinny jeans out of a thrift store. If Billy Idol had gone pink instead of Blonde, I'd was looking at his vampire doppelganger.

"Roman," Damon said. "It's been awhile."

"Fucking aye right it's been awhile." Roman said looking him over. "Still just as sexy as the last time I saw you."

Whoa.

"Was that supposed to change?" Damon asked.

Roman rolled his eyes and shrugged. "I was hoping someone would ruin that pretty mug of yours so that maybe you'd stop being a tosser and give me a shot."

Damon shrugged and sighed with mock regret. "Still a lady killer, sorry."

"I see," Roman said looking at me. "And who's this little spell caster? She's a beauty."

"Ask her yourself, she's right there." Damon said, moving past Roman and into the apartment.

"Rude bastard isn't he?" Roman said. "Never could properly introduce anyone."

"Never could properly do anything." I shook my head.

"The ass of a champion though." Roman said. "I'm Roman Alexander Castilian Boulstridge."

"Bonnie Bennett." I said, taking his extended hand.

He kissed it. "Now, Now, Bonnie I gave you two middle names, you at least owe me one."

I smiled. "Michelle. Bonnie Michelle Bennett."

Roman smiled. "I like you Bonnie. You smell like Innocence and fire."

While normally I felt uneasy around new vampires, Roman was the kind that clearly didn't make it the most interesting thing about him. He had a spark in him that shone through so brightly that it dimmed the fact that he was undead. It was cool to meet one that didn't immediately eye my jugular vein.

Besides, Damon was here. I knew he wouldn't let anything happen to me.

He ushered me into the apartment and closed the door behind me. The apartment was one of those modern numbers with dark concrete walls and stainless steel everything. It looked like something you'd expect the modern vampire to stay in. I found it oddly endearing. There were paint and art supplies everywhere, canvases and tarp on the floor. I looked around the living room and saw completed works that looked like something out of the Warhol To Picasso exhibit that'd come to Atlanta last year.

"Home sweet home, place is an absolute mess, but I'm working on it I swear." Roman bowed.

"I like it," I said honestly.

Roman looked at me. "You know the best part about you? I can tell that you really mean that."

"That's because I do."

"Damon!" Roman yelled. "I like Bonnie! Promise you won't kill her!"

I smiled, Roman smiled back.

"I'll make no such promises." Damon said coming from around the corner. "Straight back, first door on the right."

I followed his directions and came to a decent sized room with a queen sized bed and a deep blue comforter. The walls in here were just as dark and concrete as the rest of the place, and there was a stereo system on the wall by the window. I sat my stuff beside Damon's and walked back out to the front.

"So what brings you? Not that I'm not happy to see my lover." Roman asked, leaning against the counter biting a…was that a twizzler?

"I'm taking Bonnie to see Melissa." Damon said.

"Always the pot stirrer." Roman said. "You came at the right time. She just got back from London three days ago."

"And when was the last time you went back?" Damon asked.

"Blimey, it's been ages." Roman said wistfully. "I miss my sister."

"How is Tara anyway?" Damon smirked.

"Still nursing that broken heart you left her with!" Roman scowled. "Watch out, love, he's a heartbreaker this one."

"Usually he just rips them out of people's chests." I said.

"Still your signature move?" Roman looked at Damon.

"Can't beat a classic." Damon shrugged.

"Question." I said.

"Answer." Roman replied.

I smiled. "Who's Melissa?"

"Oh don't let her hear you say that." Roman said. "She's the Arch Witch of Charm City."

"Arch Witch?" I asked.

"Sweetheart where are you from?" Roman asked. "Tell me so I can burn it to the ground and salt the earth."

"Mystic Falls can't be burned down. I've tried."

"Myst-fucking Mystic Falls?" Roman looked at me. "That place still exists?"

"Yep, even on holidays." I said.

"Did you guys ever get a decent mall?"

"Nope."

"She's too big for that town, Damon. Can't you feel it?"

"I've felt it more times than necessary." Damon said.

"You've been keeping Damon in line?" Roman looked giddy.

"Only when he tries to step out." I said. I was never so witty.

"I love her. I love you."

I found that I loved him too.

Roman showed me where everything was and then told us to get the fuck out. "You're gorgeous and all, but you're fucking up my art. After you see Melissa, we'll have drinks."

When Damon and I were back in the car, he started. "I never had sex with Roman."

I laughed. "Never said you did."

"He's probably the most out there creature you'll ever meet."

"I don't doubt that at all."

"I've known him since the early nineteen hundreds."

"Has he always been that amazing?"

"Yes." He said. "Think of him like…my Lexi."

Ah. Got it.

Damon started the car and pulled away from the curb, darting down the street. A turn here, straight for a little longer, a left at the light, straight for a little longer, and we were outside of a small building with a dark door. Damon and I got out of the car and stepped up to it.

"Melissa's the Arch Witch." He said. "She knows every witch who lives here, every witch who's lived here, and knows when some are passing through."

She sounded scary as hell. "That's comforting."

"It's fact." Damon said. "I'm bringing you here because I know her and you need to meet her."

I started to ask why, but at this point I was learning to just go with it. If Damon thought I needed to meet Melissa then that's what I'd do. And just as soon as we left, I'd ask him every question under the sun.

I felt a breeze and then the door opened. Damon and I stepped through what looked like an antique store filled with vases and other knick knacks, and went straight towards a cheery wood door in the furthest part of the store. Inside we walked down a long narrow hallway with dimmed lighting and black walls. The air was thick with magic and I felt my aura wrap itself around me. Damon cast a glance my way, but didn't say anything.

The last door was stark white against the darkness of the walls. It was so alarmingly white that it was almost blinding. I felt like Alice in Wonderland standing next to the white rabbit. My inner voice even said I would be very late indeed.

Matt. I was turning into Matt.

Damon knocked on the door and he must've heard something I didn't because he grabbed the knob and turned it. Inside everything was dark greens, charcoals, and blacks from the carpet to the walls. I felt like I'd stepped into a Slytherin Dorm.

There was Matt again.

Sitting a huge leather chair in front of us was a woman with long strawberry blond waves. Her blouse was cream colored and expensive looking, as was the gold necklace that hung from her neck. The golden chandelier earrings gleamed from across the room under the dim lighting. Inside of this room, in this closed space, I could feel it. The magic, the dense magic in the hallway, the magic that I'd felt in the air, all of it had come from one place.

Her.

"Damon." The woman said. "It's been ages."

"Thirty years." He nodded.

She shrugged. "May as well be thirty minutes to us."

"True."

She tossed her hair over her shoulder. "Well don't just stand there, act like you know me."

Damon stepped forward and I followed. Two large chairs, chairs that hadn't been there when we first stepped in here were sitting there like they had been the whole time. Damon reached the woman first and they hugged. It was a deep hug, but I didn't see anything romantic in it.

_Good._ I thought.

Where did that come from?

I sat down in the chair, amazed at how comfortable it was. Damon and the woman exchanged quiet words, and then they both turned to me.

"Bonnie, this is Melissa Riordan. Arch Witch of Charm City."

I should've known.

I hopped out of the chair and took her hand. "I'm Bonnie Ben-"

Magic rushed along my skin like heat from an oven. It blew in my face and hair and smelled like sage in my nose. I could feel something rifling around in my aura. Feeling me, searching me, exploring me. My magic was called to the forefront and spread through my body. I hated it.

I loved it.

Melissa let go of my hand. "That's better. Isn't it."

It wasn't a question. Damon was looking back and forth between us.

My magic was pulsing through my veins and a humming through me. I felt high and grounded and whole. There was so much of my magic, so much of it moving and nestling itself in every part of me. My scalp tingled and my mouth watered.

This was what it meant to be a witch.

"Give her a second." Melissa smiled.

I sat down, probably a little faster than I should have. "What did you do to me?"

"I opened your third eye." She said. "You've been squinting it for quite some time, dear. I merely helped you out."

"I can feel…I…" I couldn't find the words to save my life.

"This is your power." Melissa said, frowning. "Do you not know it?"

Like this? In this much abundance? No. I didn't. I'd never felt this much power this freely. This much power was alarming. This much power was freeing. This was what I'd been waiting for, this was the part of me that'd been hidden and contained and-

"Bonnie." Damon's voice was loud.

I fell back into the chair. I'd been floating.

"Oh she is lovely." Melissa said. "Wherever did you find her?"

"Mystic Falls." Damon said. "She's a Bennett witch."

Melissa's eyebrows shot up. "I haven't seen a Bennett witch since the nineteenth century."

I sat up properly and watched as Damon sat beside me. He looked me over, staring into my eyes and looking at me strangely. I was pretty sure I was doing the same thing. Damon's hair was so soft, it was like I could see every strand. I could see all of the blue in his eyes and they were like all of the pictures I'd seen of the Mediterranean. I heard his breathing it was the same as mine, just like that day in my bedroom.

Damon didn't need to breath.

Melissa giggled. "Oh this is perfect."

Damon spoke. "What do you mean?"

"You mean you haven't figured it out yet?" Melissa asked amused.

"No." Damon was losing patience.

"My dear, you've gone and finally bonded with a witch." She said.

"Bonded?" I said. "What do you mean bonded?"

Melissa looked at me, yellow green eyes glinting. "He's your anchor and your channel. He amplifies your magic and voids the forces against you. He's your key to the ley line and your way to the spirit world if you really wanted it."

I stared at her. "What are you saying?"

She leaned forward and licked her lips.

"He's your familiar."

**A/N: And there it is folks. If you've never heard of a witch's familiar, it's usually the black cat that's with them. Or another animal. I decided to go a little further with it. I've been updating so much lately, every since I got my work deadline lol. I hope you guys like my original characters. Damon and Bonnie finally got a fucking road trip. Since Damon's been on one with everyone except her. And maybe Caroline idk. Anyway, this is what happens. I'M SO EXCITED I CAN BARELY TYPE THIS AUTHOR'S NOTE! You guys finally know omg. Okay enough my rambling. Review, review, review. Also, are my PM's working? I've responded to two people and got no response. Let me know. Read, Review, question, all of it.**

**Chapter 16 baby!**

**Interesting indeed.**


	16. Electric

**A/N: So there are a few songs I want to recommend for this chapter, but we'll get to that. Thanks so much for the love and reviews for the last chapter. You guys are so amazing. **

***Puts on dancing shoes***

Chapter Sixteen: Electric

I'd never seen a shocked vampire before and I wasn't too sure how I felt about seeing one now.

Damon was statuesque. It was the only word you could use to describe something so still. He'd stopped breathing minutes ago, when Melissa told him about being a familiar, and there was no sign of life in him anywhere. Even his eyes looked like they'd lost their regular shimmer, dried blue paint on a white canvas. His hair, which always had a life of its own, had never been so…still. The only thing that even counted as exhibiting some kind of life was his grip on the arm of the chair. If I didn't hear the leather straining I wouldn't have known.

I knew how he felt.

I looked back at Melissa, all sparkling gold and staggering beauty. She looked no older than twenty five, despite the thirty years Damon mentioned. The look on her face was one of mischievous amusement, eyes staring into mine. She crossed her legs and clicked her nails, sophisticated and elegant ease. I figured her for the type of person who loved breaking news to someone, especially something of this magnitude.

"How ever did you do it?" she asked me.

Beats the complete hell out of me. "I…I don't know. I never casted any spells."

Melissa tsked and shook her head. "Casting a spell on a vampire doesn't make it your familiar. Having only just opened your third eye, I could've figured that much."

I didn't take offense to it. Actually, I agreed.

"A vampire can only become a familiar through a certain kind of magic." Melissa said. "Ritualistic magic. It courses through the body and the aura, seeking out a power source to tether the witch to her plane while she completes the spell. The place it's most prominent is in the blood, which means one of you has explaining to do."

She smiled as she said the last part. Ritualistic? I did that all the time, but that didn't explain what she was saying. If I put two and two together, she was saying that at some point Damon would've had to have had my blood while ritual magic was coursing through me. That had never happened before.

I opened my mouth to speak, but Damon beat me to it. "Shit."

I was so surprised to hear him speak, I jumped a little. It was like someone had pressed play on Damon and he'd come back to life. He raked his fingers through his hair and sat back, cursing. He began to tap his foot, eyes darting around like and closing every so often.

I was confused. "What? Damon, what's going on?"

"Our handsome vampire's finally figured it out." Melissa said. "Mystic Falls has dulled you, Damon, you were so much sharper last time."

"It doesn't make sense." Damon said, voice slightly elevated. "It happened months ago."

Melissa was about to answer it, but I cut her off. The look on her face said she let me do it, but the twitch of her eyebrow let me know it wouldn't happen again.

"What happened months ago?"

"Emily possessed you." Damon said.

"Okay, I remember that." Vaguely.

"I wanted the Bennett talisman to open the tomb." Damon said. "Because the talisman had the energy of a freak comet inside of it, it could only be used and destroyed on that night. Emily performed the ritual she used to make the talisman to destroy it. I got pissed."

I remembered. Being possessed was like being locked in a room with no windows while everything was happening on the other side of the door. I could hear sounds, but they were muffled. I knew my body was moving, but I wasn't the one in control. The only reason I hadn't freaked out completely was because Emily wanted to protect the town and, more importantly, the latest in her bloodline.

Since my magic was her magic, she'd been able to use it effortlessly in ways I could've only hoped to imagine. I could feel the magic of a pentagram and the spell she hummed through it. It was some of the most powerful magic I'd ever felt at the time and I could see and feel was light. I heard her say something, then my body jerked upward, and another surge of magic.

When she left, I was standing in the middle of a forest. How I got there, I didn't know. Why I was there, I didn't know. Stefan and Elena were looking at me with concerned stares, but they were at the edge of what looked like a charred pentagram on the ground. I heard the air shift and Elena scream.

Damon tore into my neck.

I touched the spot remembering. I didn't know how serious the whole thing was, only that Stefan had to give me his blood to heal me. Damon was right about one thing, though, it had happened months ago. So many months that I had to remember the only time Damon had ever done something like that.

"You bit me." I said.

"Looks like you bit him back." Melissa smiled.

"It was months ago, Mel." Damon said. "None of this other shit started happening until a few weeks ago."

Melissa shrugged and somehow made it elegant. "A witch's magic doesn't work on vampire time, Damon. Just because you started experiencing it recently, doesn't mean you aren't her familiar. You have been since you bit her."

"I didn't even take that much blood." Damon said, but it sounded weak even to me.

"It never takes much, you know that. Besides, possession, a ritual, and two members of the same bloodline in one body? She had enough magic in her veins to make three familiars."

I was still shocked. Elena told me that Damon had made a promise to Emily to protect her family. From what I could see, he'd done it. Knowing the Bennett women logic we all seemed to share, if Damon made a promise Emily was going to make sure he kept it. When he attacked me, like I'm sure she knew he would, she kept a failsafe in my blood.

Fuck.

"My blood can't be the only one Damon's had." I said. "I've heard him talk about killing witches before."

It was true. One time, when Damon had tried to intimidate me, he'd told me about a witch in Chicago he'd drained dry. She'd refused him a spell when he wanted one and he'd ripped her throat out and drank her blood. At the time it scared me, now I was hoping there was a loophole.

Melissa looked. "You're the only one that's lived. Am I right, Damon?"

Damon's jaw was clenched so tight he'd chip a fang. "Yes."

"Oh cheer up," Melissa said. "It isn't _so_ bad. Bonnie's your mistress now, that's nothing to be ashamed of."

"I don't have a mistress!" Damon was out of his seat and shouting. "I don't have a master or any of that shit. Tell us how to reverse it."

Melissa's eyes narrowed slightly, just a squint, and I heard the slightest ringing in my ears.

Damon froze, literally froze. His arms snapped to his side and his feet came off the ground. Melissa toyed with her necklace and cocked her head, staring at Damon. I could feel a pulsing in my aura and the ringing intensified. I felt the alarm Damon was feeling, I felt a slight amount of his fear.

"Do you remember the last time a vampire raised his voice at me, Damon?"

Damon's voice strained. "Yes."

"And what happened?" She asked, her voice soft and encouraging.

"You flayed him alive." He responded.

"I flayed him the fuck alive." Melissa's voice was hard now, commanding. "I like you Damon, I even like your witch. But don't you ever think you can come into my territory and raise your voice at me. Do we have an understanding?"

"Yes."

Melissa looked at me, blinking at my shocked expression. "As a mistress, Bonnie, you have to keep your familiar in line. Sure they act like they want to serve you and may even help you on occasion, but if that discipline isn't there, they'll turn on you."

Damon fell back into the chair.

"And you don't want that." Her voice was back to its earlier tone.

Damon straightened himself and pushed his hair out of his eyes. I'd never seen him holding back so much anger, even when we were in the bathroom. I had a feeling I knew why. With me, it was easier because he stood a chance. With Melissa, he could do nothing but accept whatever she gave him. She'd, as my dad phrased it, busted Damon's balls and what was worse she did it in front of me.

"So," Melissa said pleasantly. "What brings you to Charm City?"

Damon glared and clenched his jaw for a few seconds, then blanked his face and answered. "Bonnie having trouble with dark and light magic."

"No such thing." Melissa said dismissively.

I spoke up. "My Grandmother told me that there was. She said that one left a stain on your aura, drawing negativity to you and tainting your soul."

Melissa gave me a look that made me feel stupid. "Your grandmother, like so many other witches that come from lineages, have fallen victim to superstition."

Annoyance flashed through me, but I checked it. "My grandmother wasn't superstitious."

"Okay." Melissa said. "However the person who told her that was. There is no such thing as light magic or dark magic or even black magic. The spells are what give the magic those outdated connotations and yes, some of them are dark. Magic doesn't have a side, it exists to be wielded. How you wield it and what you're wielding it towards determines that."

"I'm not hearing a difference." I said.

"I see why you brought her." Melissa said to Damon.

"Will you help her?" Damon asked.

"I don't know, Damon, you've been mean." Melissa said. "And your mistress has her family's beliefs. I don't know if there's anything I can do here."

"I apologize, Melissa." Damon said. "And she only knows what she's been taught. Her grandmother died recently and she was all she had. I'm asking you to teach her. She needs it."

Melissa looked at me then, long and hard. Her eyes were shrewd and piercing, ripping me apart and seeing what I was made of. She was assessing something about me and forming opinions that I was sure I would hear about later.

"Bring her tomorrow, nine o clock when the moon is high." Melissa said.

Damon nodded. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, love." Melissa said. "Are you staying with Roman?"

"Yeah, for the weekend." Damon said.

"Good." Melissa replied. Then she looked at me. "You have my blessing, witchling. Blessed be."

"Blessed be." I replied automatically. I don't know why, but I did.

Damon and Melissa exchanged a few silent words and then we were out of her office and into the hall. He walked so fast, I had to jog a little to keep up. Outside, the setting sun bathed the sky in a reddish gold and gave Charm City more beauty than it already had. We got in the car and Damon sped off.

He wasn't saying anything, Damon was never this quiet.

"Melissa's pretty…powerful." I said.

Damon didn't reply. His eyes were on the road.

"I mean, I've never seen another witch so surrounded by magic before. It's in the air all around her."

Nothing. Nothing at all.

"I guess this was what you had planned." I said. "Thanks for-"

"Bonnie, leave me the fuck alone for five minutes. Can you do that? Five minutes."

The cold feeling in my chest tingled and spread. I felt my heart beating faster and looked away from him and out of the window. My feelings were glass and his words were rocks. He was so angry it radiated, but I didn't understand what I'd done wrong. I'd been just as shocked as he was, if not more about the whole familiar thing. I was even more upset that, with everything that had happened between us, he'd let one thing ruin the respect.

I blinked away the stinging feeling in my eyes.

By the time we got back to Roman's apartment building, I already knew the situation. I was going up and Damon was going to drive off and go sulk for whatever reason. How he'd made everything about him, I didn't know, but I knew I wouldn't try to get him out of it. If he wanted me to leave him alone, I'd give him more than five minutes.

Way more.

I got out of the car and slammed the door. He at least had the decency to wait until I was inside the building, but whatever. I was starting to learn that Damon was only decent when he wanted to be, it wasn't a consistent thing. I folded my arms as I waited on the elevator. I could still feel my magic humming through me, but not as intensely as in Melissa's office.

By the time I got to Roman's door, lights were flickering with my anger and I wanted to punch something. Tell me to shut the fuck up? Asshole. Screw Damon. Screw him and his bad ass attitude and his selfishness and his mood ring under cold water mood swings. As soon as he got back, I was telling him to take me home.

Roman opened the door. "Looks like someone got her third eye opened."

"Yeah, Melissa's great." I said stepping inside.

Roman closed the door. "One more time, love, make me feel it."

I turned around and smile a little. "I liked her actually. She's creepy, but in that really well dressed disinterested kind of way."

"Meryl Streep in The Devil Wears Prada?"

"Exactly." I said. "Wait. You've seen The Devil Wears Prada?"

"Twenty two times."

"That's dedication." I said.

"That's adoration." He replied. "Where's Damon?"

"Off somewhere, I don't know." I said, looking away.

"That bastard dropped you off in the middle of Charm City?"

"He dropped me off outside." I corrected.

"Just the same. Well, at least here you're fine."

I sighed. "Yeah, he had the decency to wait until I was inside."

"Oh not just here." Roman said. "In Charm City period."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Damon hasn't told you?" Roman rolled his eyes. "That little shit breaks my heart every chance he gets. Don't get comfortable love, we're hitting the town."

Roman told me, as we got in the elevator, that he didn't own a car because the nomad in him believed that streets were made to be walked. As soon as we left the building he began pointing out things and giving me the stories on them. A vampire owned a coffee shop across the street and further down a couple blocks was where a lot of the werewolves stayed. When Roman asked me if I was hungry, I found that I was.

After I got some food from this place that sold wraps, Roman led me into a building and up several flights of stairs. Once he opened the door at the top, we were on a roof and looking at the Charm City Skyline. There wasn't as much magic up here and I felt more like myself. Even though it was good to have the clarity, I missed the feel of it already.

"So," Roman said sitting down. "I assume you have questions."

I sat beside him and bit into my wrap. "Like a million."

"Which is why that atrociously handsome vampire of our probably left you with me. Other than him being a wanker I'm assuming."

"I'm not really sure what a wanker is."

He told me.

"Sounds about right."

Roman laughed and pulled a joint out of his pocket. "You are gorgeous love, I adore you. First question?"

The one I'd been dying to ask. "Why can I only call it Charm City?"

Roman lit his joint, took a hit, and smiled. "Damon said that, did he? Well he's right. In the late seventies, the city got its name from a guy, I can't remember the name, who deemed that the city had the most charm. And while it does, the reasoning goes way deeper than that."

"In the early nineteen hundreds, this was a vampire town. Since you come from Mystic Bumfuck, I'm going to assume you know what I mean by that."

"Vampires everywhere, living in secret?" I asked.

"Yes and no. The vampires lived here, but there was nothing secret about it. The humans knew and, light years ahead of their time, accepted it. Blood was distributed for money, workers sought and found Lapis Lazuli, and any local witch made a killing from producing daylight rings. Vampires walked and thrived in these streets. Since most of them were immigrants at the time, they were all chasing the old American dream and trying to get a piece of whatever they could."

"One day, a vampire named Leviticus decided that even though vampires had freedom in this city, it still wasn't enough. You know how power hungry we can be sometimes."

I thought of Klaus. I knew exactly how power hungry they could be.

"He stepped up in a town of freedom and took it for his own. From what I was told he'd assumed power so quickly that no one really believed him. The vampires didn't believe in having leaders and the humans didn't know where the hell he came from, so why would anyone just do what he said?"

"So Leviticus what any power seeking man would do, and built an army. He made promises of power, fed the local hungry vampires, the ones who couldn't afford the blood. He initiated trade from wherever he was from and brought in so much Lapis Lazuli, they city sparkled with blue."

"And then one day, he ripped out a man's throat in the middle of the town square."

I stopped eating.

Roman looked at me, eyes low. "You want some?"

Tempting, especially with my annoyance with Damon, but no. "I'm more of a drinker."

"Preference?" he asked.

"Tequila." I answered automatically.

Roman shook his head. "You're too big for Mystic Shitpit. Did I tell you that?"

"You told Damon."

"Let's hope he listens." Roman took another hit. "Where was I?"

"Leviticus killed a man." I said.

"Right. In front of everybody. It was then that the humans really began to fear the vampires. That's when things like hunters and haters of the supernatural came about. It was like a silent war in the streets. While no one openly attacked each other, slowly but surely blood stopped being served. Which led to vampires feeding off of humans, which led to humans killing vampires."

"After maybe…three months? The entire city had gone to shit, Bonnie." Roman said. "I mean it was bad. Brothels popped up and suddenly you can fuck and feed for the right price. Opium was the drug of choice then, and they said it intensified the feed."

"Crime was at an all time high and in the midst of hating the vampires, the humans starting hating the witches. Lapis Lazuli was being thrown in the river by rebellions and witches were suffering the kind of shit you only hear about in movies. Hangings, rapes, burnings. Helping vampires was the latest sin, and suddenly all of the witches had to pay."

"And then, one witch said she wasn't going to do it anymore. Three members of her coven had been raped, drowned, and burned and she went silent. She stopped making the daylight rings and horded as much blood as she could. People saw her gathering materials during the mid morning and didn't see her again for the rest of the day."

"When the time came, she offered herself to Leviticus. It was a little known fact that he fancied her, although she never really gave him the time. Only those who really paid attention knew of his affections. The people outside of his circle who figured it out either kept quiet or died. She went into his lair, which was a mansion on the other side of town."

"No one really knows if she did anything with him or not, but everyone remembers what happened next. The witch had Leviticus suspended in the air, arse naked. It was such a shock that no one really believed what was happening until she took him into the middle of the town square where he'd killed so many people, including the man whose throat he ripped out and who also happened to be the witch's husband."

"She stood in front of everyone and screamed 'This is your leader! This is the man you serve and the corrupt creature you allow to defile your souls! This the man who has robbed us of our integrity and made shambles of the peace we'd created!' and do you know what Leviticus did?"

"What?" I asked, immersed.

"He screamed at her." Roman said in between hits. "Called her a Pagan whore and said that she was nothing. Said her husband was less than that because he couldn't keep his bitch of a wife in line. He swore that she'd never prosper, that the second he died so would she. And do you know what the witch did?"

I shook my head.

Roman stared at me. "Melissa smiled and ripped his skin off."

_Do you remember the last time a vampire raised his voice at me, Damon? I flayed him the fuck alive._

"You and Damon were there?" I asked.

"Standing right there with our mouths hanging open with everyone else."

I shook at the image. I could see Melissa, captivating and enraged, with her arm outstretched and holding a vampire in the air. She would smile, swipe her arm backwards in a downward ark and his skin would go flying from him, leaving him nothing but muscle and nerves.

"Then she staked him, and all of the vampires who'd helped him. All the blood she'd been hoarding? She'd laced it all with vervain and got a few brave shop owners to sell it to the vampires. They were all weak and burning alive. Her coven came together and restored peace and equality to this place. Since then, everything has been owned and operated by the witches."

"Charm City." I said.

"Charmed indeed."

Melissa wasn't just powerful, she was like an end all be all. I realized what she did to Damon wasn't anything personal, but she just wouldn't tolerate it. She hadn't had to in years and she never, ever, would again.

"How did you meet Damon?" I asked.

Roman smiled. "Found him laying in the middle of the bloody street."

I rolled my eyes. "He still does that."

"Learned it from a gypsy or some shit. He says. I've got a couple questions for you."

I sat up straight. "Okay."

"Did he ever find Katherine?"

"Yes." I said.

"I'll be." Roman said. "She was really in that damn tomb he kept going on about?"

I laughed. Actually laughed. "God no. She'd been lying to him the whole time."

Roman sat up. "Are you joking?"

"No!" I exclaimed. "That bitch ruined our lives for weeks!"

"Bloody hell." Roman said, obviously high. "No wonder Damon's all moody. He's hopeless."

I shook my head. "No, he has internalization issues."

"That too." Roman said. "Second question."

"Second answer." I said.

"You are quickly becoming one of my favorite people." Roman said.

"That's a statement, love." I said in a British accent.

He shook his head. "Be the Martha to my Doctor, I swear I'll make you happy."

"Get a TARDIS and I'm yours."

Roman squealed, it was hilarious. "Give me until you leave and you'll have one."

"Deal." I said. "What's your question?"

"Right then." He said. "Does Damon know how you feel about him?"

I stopped. "How I feel? What do you-"

"I know the look, I was a young girl in love too once." Roman said.

"I don't love Damon." I said.

"You like him, though. I bet it's one of those 'against your better judgment' things too."

Was I that obvious? "He's saved my life on more than one occasion."

"And knowing him, you've saved his too."

"We kind of work together to protect my best friend. That's who he likes, that's who he's in love with."

"And I bet she doesn't even hold a candle to your beauty." Roman said fiercely.

"Actually," I said. "She looks exactly like Katherine."

"That bird?" he said. "With the too long hair, boring eyes, and fake Mona Lisa smirk?"

I stared shocked.

"Right, he's shown me a picture of Katherine and honestly she's okay, but I've seen prettier, I'm looking at it."

"Elena's beautiful." I said.

"She might be, but I bet she doesn't have your spark." Roman touched my shoulder. "And if he's just in love with her that means she, like Katherine, is dicking him around."

"Elena's a good person," I said. "Crazy choices, but probably one of the best people you'll ever meet."

"If she's hurt Damon, she's already lost to me."

"You make it seem like hurting Damon is easy." I replied.

"Right next to breathing." He took a breath for emphasis.

I shook my head. "Damon's feelings are borderline impenetrable. The only person I've seen really get emotional anything out of him is Elena."

Roman shook his head. "Life lesson love, take it with you wherever you go. The people with the biggest walls are the ones with the most pain. Keep out the trespassers and block out the world. Self preservation is only there covering up the fact that he's so lonely it's crippling."

It made sense, a lot of sense, but I still couldn't believe it. "Even if I did like Damon-"

"Which you do." Roman said.

"It wouldn't work. He loves Elena. Loves her more than anything. And I'm not as interesting."

"You want to know the heartbreaking thing? You really mean that."

I shrugged. "It's true."

"If I'm guessing correctly, Elena's the popular one. She's in the middle when you walk together, she's in the middle of your pictures, and probably has the sweetest personality you'll probably find."

I nodded. "That's her."

"The beautiful thing about you is that you're so dynamic." Roman said. "Everyone's used to Elena by now. Her looks, her attitudes, her opinions. Everyone's already figured out that puzzle and know the bigger picture."

"But you love? You? You're the brightest thing I've seen in ages." Roman said. "You've got the face of a virgin and the eyes of a siren. The charming personality and electric soul. There's a body underneath all the flowy shirts and flared jeans. Which I might add, we're going shopping after we get off this roof and before we go out tonight."

I smiled, tearing up.

"Stop downplaying yourself because you don't feel like you're as good. If there's anything I've learned in all my years, it's that being the best you is what you should do out of life. Fuck the jobs, careers, the money, all of it. If you're the best _you_ all of it will come. Even Damon."

I wiped at the tear that had fallen. "No one's ever said anything like that to me."

"You live in a backwoods town where everybody inherited their place in society from their grandfather. No one has the fucking sense to tell you something so smart."

I hugged him. I don't know why because I was never really a hugging person, but I was hugging Roman like I'd known him forever. He hugged me back and rocked us from side to side singing some song. I smiled and backed away.

"You said we were going shopping?" I said.

"Did Melissa give you her blessing?" he asked.

"Yeah, and a blessed be." I replied.

"Fuck yeah we're going shopping. Her treat."

Hours, malls, and boutiques later, I was slipping my feet into really comfortable black wedges. It turns out that Melissa's blessing wasn't given to everybody, if anybody, and that since I'd gotten it, it meant everything was free.

Everything.

Roman used the opportunity to take me extreme shopping. I say extreme because it was ridiculous how many bags the both of us had. He told me my legs were too shapely and toned for flared jeans and that I needed to be a little more adventurous with my wardrobe.

"Exciting girl," he told one of the store attendants. "Drab wardrobe."

Somehow I'd lucked up and gotten so many jeans, skirts, shirts, earrings, and every other thing you could think of. And I mean a lot of it. Roman milked Melissa's blessing, calling me her next protégé and saying that I was a reflection of her and that I couldn't be seen out looking less that a perfect ten.

At first I couldn't let him do it. "It's too much stuff, Roman. That won't go in my suitcase."

"Yes it will." He said putting a mint green peplum skirt on top of a vastly growing pile.

"How?" I asked. "My suitcase is full."

"I donated all of your clothes to the church down the street."

"What?!" I'd screamed.

Roman shrugged. "I kept your underwear. Sexy by the way."

And so here I was, standing in the guest bathroom and straightening my hair. I was wearing a black brazier top from Foreign Exchange and a black mini skirt with a pink, red, and white floral pattern. Roman told me I had the right idea with flowers, but I executed it wrong. He told me he wouldn't take me too far out of my comfort zone, but the next time I partied with him everything would be skin tight.

I reached down and took the shot of tequila I had on the counter. It was my second one, but Roman ran out.

My hair had gotten so much longer, reaching the end of my bra strap. The layers I'd let Caroline cut three months ago had grown out longer and looked better with the thickness of my hair. I grabbed the comb and parted my hair just a little left of my widows peak. The small gold cross I always wore went great with the earring cuffs Roman bought me. They had heart and cross charms and made jingling sounds in my ears.

"Think of me when you wear them." Roman said dramatically with a hand over his eyes.

I didn't believe in too much make up, my skin was clear enough, but I loved eyeliner. I traced my eyes diligently and smiled at the outcome. I was feeling better about everything, and I was going to have my first real night out in a while. It felt weird and exciting.

And liberating.

I stepped out of the bathroom and into the living room where Roman was waiting for me. He was taking me to a rave in an old cathedral downtown. At first I balked at the thought of a rave being held inside of one, but I got over it pretty quickly. Raves were held everywhere, and I was pretty sure this one would be better than the ones in Mystic Falls. They started out with the idea of a rave but just turned into a kegger with glow jewelry.

Damon was back.

He was sitting on the couch Roman had against the wall by the door and was listening to Roman talk. If I walked backwards slowly he wouldn't…

"Holy shit, you're fucking amazing." Roman screeched.

Damon looked up at me and blanked his face, but not before I saw the widening of his eyes and the slight raise in eyebrow. This was the most exposed I'd ever been period and I'd been enjoying it before I saw him. My mood fell a little. Despite whatever Roman had gotten out of me on that roof, I was still very hurt and very annoyed with Damon. Screw that I liked him, he was still an ass.

I walked into the room and Roman spun me around. "I haven't looked at a woman in years, but you make me miss it."

I laughed. "I'll take that as a compliment."

"Not just a compliment love, a rave review!" he clapped. "Take a shot with me."

He'd gotten more tequila.

Damon watched us as we took the first one, and stopped us after the second one. "We still have to make it there."

"You've decided to go with us, then?" Roman asked.

"Might as well." Damon said, walking away from us and out of the door.

Roman snuck us another shot and we took them. "He saw you in that skirt."

"It's really short."

"And those legs go on for ages, darling." Roman looked me over.

In the elevator, Roman pulled out his phone. "Take a picture with me."

I wasn't buzzing yet, but I felt warm. I stood beside Roman and smiled brilliantly into the camera. He squealed with delight.

"Another!" he yelled.

This time we gave our best model faces. He took that one in black and white. We made silly faces, threw up weird signs with our hands, and there was even one of Roman kissing me on the cheek. I hadn't had this much fun and we'd barely left the apartment.

Damon stood in the background looking bored.

Roman wasn't having it. "Take a picture with Bonnie, wanker, she's lovely."

I looked at Roman. "That's okay."

"She's right," Damon said. "It is okay."

Asshole.

"Take one, dammit!" he hissed at Damon.

Damon glared but took a step towards me anyway. He stood close to me, very close, but the look of disinterest on his face was enough to hurt my feelings even more. Here I was in a skirt so short it could've been my Mystic Falls cheerleading skirt, and Damon hadn't so much as given me a second glance.

I cocked my head and Damon glared. That was our picture.

"You look pathetic." Roman rolled his eyes. "You look stunning love, let's see you move."

The cathedral Roman took us to was one of those huge numbers that occupied almost entire section of the street. I was tall, wide, and had so much going on outside I couldn't begin to describe it. We followed Roman up the stairs and up to the bouncer.

"Chuck, babes!" Roman said.

Chuck didn't look amuse. "Your scrawny ass is here? Aww fuck another drug bust."

"Hey, hey, hey!" Roman said. "That was one time and it wasn't mine."

"It's always yours." Chuck said.

"Right you are. These are my friends, they're with me."

Chuck sniffed the air and looked at me. "A witch."

"We live in a city full of them, love, what's the problem?"

"She smells like Melissa." He said.

"That's the blessing coming off of her."

Chuck let us in.

As soon as we crossed the threshold we walked blindly in darkness for about five seconds, and then suddenly we surrounded by everything. People, glow jewelry, I smelled weed. The music was so loud I couldn't hear myself think. The strobe lights pulsed to the beat and flickered. The ground vibrated, the walls thumped, everything was so vibrant.

I was in love.

Roman grabbed me and pulled me away from Damon. I didn't spare a glance back at him. Roman held onto me as we walked through the crowd, finding the perfect place to dance. When he found it, he waited until the songs bled into each other and then begin to move.

"Let's see what you can do, baby!"

I showed him.

A little known fact about me is that I can dance. Sure according to Matt, I danced better than my friends, but the point was that I could dance period. It was one of the things I was great at, but didn't show a lot of people. At home it was all hair flips and swaying. Here, I could use my whole body the way I wanted to.

I winded my body and moved my hips in circular motions. My hands traveled up my neck and grabbed my hair off my shoulders. I moved with Roman and the rest of the crowd, finding my rhythm and moving my legs accordingly. I whipped my head from side to side, sending my hair flying and pushing it out of my face. I dipped my body when Roman dipped his and came back up, popping my hips to the bass. I turned around and swiveled my hips, my hands raking up my thighs lifting my skirt just a little. Roman grabbed my wrist gently and twirled me under the pulsing light. He pulled me close.

"You're a killer baby!" He shouted in my ear.

I blew him a kiss. The shots were kicking in.

"I'm getting us drinks! You'll be okay, yeah?"

I nodded and gave him a thumbs up.

As soon as he walked off, the song slowed and got more beat to it, bleeding into the next one. The guitar wailed with the beat of the bass and I was moving my hips faster. I dipped and came back up slowly snaking my waist and biting my lip. I pumped my chest with the same rhythm as my chest, raking my hair out of my face. I didn't see how my friends did it, I wanted a ponytail holder.

It must've looked good to someone though, because he came up to me.

It was a guy, cute, with the nicest lips I'd ever seen. He moved with me. I danced with him, the both of moving closer and following the beat. He turned me around and pulled me against him. It should've freaked me out, I should've told him to move, but I didn't. I'd left Bonnie at Roman's apartment. I wanted to have fun and I would.

Speaking of Roman, he came back with my drink. "It's strong!" He warned, but I downed it one gulp. He took the cup from me looked behind me, then winked and disappeared into the crowd. I snaked my hips against the guy and let the music take over.

The guy moved my hair off my neck. I felt him trail his finger between my shoulder blades, and his magic push against my aura. I stiffened and was about to turn and push him away, but I realized what he was doing. Our auras were moving together, but not touching or intertwining. It was like they were dancing as well. I could suddenly feel all the other witches in the room doing the same thing we were, moving in unison and catching the same rhythm.

We were channeling.

At least, we were until Damon ripped the guy away from me.

It was like having water thrown on my face, being jerked away from the magic so face. I stumbled forward in my wedges, but Damon caught me and stood me upright. When I turned around, Damon was baring his fangs at the guy. The guy nodded, glared, and walked off.

"What the hell is your problem?" I screamed at Damon. With vampire hearing, I knew he could hear over the music.

He didn't say anything, just stood there staring.

I rolled my eyes. "Go ruin someone else's night!"

Turning around and preparing to march off, I spotted the bar. I wondered if the Melissa's blessing thing would work here. Chuck had smelled Melissa's magic on me, whatever he was. Let's hope the bartender could too.

Damon spun me around and crushed his mouth on mine.

The next song started and Damon began to move us. I was so shocked that I let him. The bass thumped, the lyrics sounded, everything was loud as Damon pulled me so close to him, I thought we'd melt into each other. I'd been longing for this, waiting for it, wanting it. And it was finally happening.

And no. As much as I wanted it. No. I pushed him away.

He didn't let me go far, his hand on my wrist was gentle but very firm. "Where are you going?"

"You told me to leave you the fuck alone, remember?" I shouted. "I'm doing that."

Or at least I would've if Damon let go.

His eyes were back to what I was used to, not hard and angry like earlier. "You were doing that thing again!"

"Trying to lighten the mood?" I shouted.

"Talking!" he smirked.

I rolled my eyes. Whatever. I was done here. I wanted to dance more.

Damon pulled me against him and moved to the beat. I stood still for three seconds, then moved with him. It was surprised at how easy it was for us to keep the same rhythm, and I was even more surprised and how good he was at dancing. When you've had a hundred or so years to do it, I guess you didn't have a choice.

He turned me around, much like the other guy had, but pulled me back so close against him I could feel his breath on my ear. I moved my hips against him as he ran his hands up my thighs and leaned back into him when he kept them there. I moved my hips in wide slow circles and Damon moved with me. I put my hands on top of his and…moved them up more. I felt his face come down beside mine, I tilted my head back and kissed him.

The next thing I knew, we were leaving.

Roman appeared out of nowhere, someone was with him.

"Charlie, friends, friends, Charlie." He said.

Charlie was cute in that emo kind of way. Brown hair, too much eyeliner, heavy bang, black clothes. I could barely assess him before Damon pulled me on.

I could feel it coming off of him, the attraction. Whatever reason we were leaving and Damon was walking so fast, I knew it was to get us back to the apartment. I had to jog a little to keep up and I had to fight the heat in my chest whenever he looked at me.

I tried to focus on keeping my skirt down.

And then, Damon was knocked backwards. It happened so quickly we all froze. There were four of them, including the guy I'd danced with, and they were all witches.

"Fucking vampires!" One of them shouted.

Damon and Roman snarled. I called my magic forth.

We all moved.

Since Damon went for the guy I'd been dancing with, I went for the guy to his left. He hurled a spell at me and I dodged it, moving just like Damon taught me. I wobbled from the alcohol, but swung my arm in an arc, sending him backwards and toppling into trashcans. Roman ran so fast his feet sounded like bullets from an automatic against the concrete. The witch tried to spell him, but Roman did a perfect somersault over his head, grabbed his arm, and snapped it so loud I could hear it all the way from where I was. Charlie had his hands in some kind of formation as he walked forward slowly. The witch who'd tried to attack him was on the ground writhing.

My witch got back up as I searched for Damon, and flung his arm out sending me to the ground. I rolled on my side and dodged the spell that scorched the ground where my head had been. I swung my arm and knocked another spell out of the way and used the curb to get to my feet.

I was entirely too drunk for this.

But I kept my head. I planted my feet as firmly as I could and called my magic. If the witch wanted to play, we could play and I was coming to win. I was sick of other witches attacking me. I was sick of all of it.

My eyes snapped open and the spell that had been coming right at me stopped. I jerked my head and sent it flying towards the witch that was now standing over Roman. I walked forward, eyes focusing on the witch in front of me. I dodged his spells like a dance, stumbling here and there, but managing to keep it together. I waited until I was close enough and counted the seconds in my head.

I reached my hand out and squeezed.

The witch's hand flew to his throat and he fell to his knees. I could feel the magic pouring through me, urging me on. I walked until I got close enough to stand over him. He gasped for air, face reddening and eyes watering. I could see the veins in his neck, I could hear his blood pulsing in my ears. he would think twice before he tried this again, him and his little friends.

Damon and the last guy were going at it so fast it was almost impossible to keep up. The witch hurled spells at him and Damon dodged them artfully and landing skillfully. Every advance he took at the witch, the witch was ready. Sending fire and curses and everything else he could at Damon. A trashcan went flying at Damon's head. A bottle hit him in the chest. Damon could duck and dodge some things, but everything on a street? The witch wasn't playing fair.

And neither would I.

I raised my other hand and concentrated hard on the other witch. I focused on the feel of his power back in the club and, when I sensed it in the air; I grabbed a hold to it. Maybe I couldn't completely stop him from using magic, but I could buy Damon some time to regroup. I focused on channeling the magic away from him, pulling it into myself. It was hard because of all the drinks I'd had, but after awhile it started.

Like water filling a cup, the witch's magic left him and siphoned into my aura. I pulled at it, snatching it away and draining it. One hand was focused on strangling the life out of one witch and the other one was channeling. I don't know what Melissa did to me, but I was on fire, I could feel it.

The witch glared at me and tried to close the channel between us, but it was too late. He fell to his knees and Damon rushed him. When Damon got close enough, he slugged the witch so hard he spun and hit the ground, unconscious. So were the other two. When I let my magic subside the witch in front of me fell into a fit of strangled coughs. I wobbled towards Damon as he came to me and fell against him because the world started spinning and my magic was still thriving. He pulled me closer.

"Let's go."

I didn't remember the walk back to the apartment, or the really the walk inside. It all happened in flashes. The last thing I saw before Damon shut us in the guest room, were Roman and Charlie tearing each other's clothes off and making out as they went down a different hall.

I fell back on the bed. "That was so fun."

Damon nodded as he took off his shirt. "Turns out, you do pay attention."

"I always pay attention to you." I said, kicking off my shoes.

"Is that right?" Damon said, moving closer to me.

"You never pay attention to me." I said licking my lips.

"I always pay attention to you." He threw my words back at me.

"Were you paying attention when you snapped on me?"

"I keep telling you," he said unzipping his pants. "You were doing that thing."

"Whatever." I said, rolling my eyes and trying not to look at him. It was a losing battle. "You still owe me an apology."

Damon reached up and hooked his fingers inside the waistband of my skirt. He pulled them down slowly, eyes on mine, and when I lifted up a little so that he could, he took it off.

He was kissing me again, the weight of him over me giving off heat and blocking me from the rest of the room. His fingers were in my hair and I was gripping his. It was just as soft as I remembered and I made a very drunk mental note to never let it go this long without touching it again. He bit down softly on my bottom lip as I pushed myself against him, his hand reaching under my back and pulling up the brazier.

Except for the lacy black underwear I was wearing, I was completely nude.

Damon stared at me, eyes roaming everywhere. When he didn't do anything for almost ten seconds, I began feeling self conscious. It was crazy how negative emotions could find their way through alcohol, but here they were.

I started to sit up. "Da-"

And he was kissing me again, just like he had in the cathedral. Hard and fast and passionate. I pulled him closer to me and reveled in the feel of his bare chest against mine. I shivered as his hands trailed down my sides and found my panties.

He slipped them off slowly, I think, to give me the time to say no. I kept kissing him and trying to pull him all the way on the bed with me. He pulled back and shook his kissed his way down my body and ran his tongue over my belly button as I shivered. I kept my eyes on the ceiling as I felt him go lower. I obliged when he spread my thighs just a little.

I moaned when his tongue touched me.

My back arched as Damon flicked his tongue over me, and squirmed when he lapped at me. He held my hips and brought me closer to him, lips kissing and parting and rubbing between my legs. He pointed his tongue and teased my opening, darting his tongue quickly as his thumb stroked me. I was making sounds I hadn't even known I could make and feeling things I hadn't known I could feel.

Seeing him down there made my legs shake. I moved my hand down and pushed his bangs out of his eyes as he came back up and flicked his tongue over my most sensitive part. His eyes locked with mine as he sucked it between his lips and applied pressure with them. My hips were moving with the same rhythm his tongue was as it flicked and swirled and licked.

I felt something building inside of me, filling me and with warmth and a current so electric I trembled. My breathing got faster as Damon locked his arms around my thighs, licking and sucking me faster and faster. I was screaming now, loud and throaty and loud again. Something released inside of me, like water from a damn.

And I unraveled.

Damon didn't stop licking. I could hear the sounds getting wetter as spasms coursed through my body and my thighs trembled. I heard him moan against me as he pushed his tongue down harder on that spot and swirled it again, the pressure inside of me building as quickly as it had the first time. I was gasping for air and moaning it away when I got it. Damon kept at it relentlessly.

I came apart again.

Only after the third time did Damon actually stop. By then I was seeing so many spots and my legs were so numb I couldn't even begin to comprehend anything. I was aware that I was staring at the ceiling, but I wasn't really seeing it. The alcohol made the room spin and Damon made me tingle. He was still down there, kissing me and licking up whatever moisture he could find. When he was done he kissed his way back up to me.

He kissed me softly, the softest he'd ever done it. When he pulled back he pushed my hair out of my face and ran his thumb over my lip.

"I'm sorry."

**A/N: Wait, wait, wait! I don't ask you guys for much, but I want you to check these out okay! It'll help you see the story better!**

**For Bonnie's look in the latter part of this chapter: GO TO THE LINK IN MY PROFILE, HOPEFULLY IT WORKS!**

**The song Bonnie and Roman danced to: Natalia Kills "Controversy"**

**The song Bonnie and the witch danced to: Natalia Kills "Problem"**

**The song Damon and Bonnie danced to : Jason Derulo "Other Side: Morgan Page Extended Mix"**

**Okay okay okay. GUYS! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Holy shit you guys. Holy shit! This chapter was everything. I had so much fun writing it. I. LIVE. So I know I've been saying this, but now that the actual stuff has happened, BAMON CAN REACH NEW HEIGHTS! The reason I'm updating like crazy with these last two chapters was because I saw all of this in my head before I saw anything else! AAAAAAAAAH I'm in fucking heaven right now. Cloud freaking ten. Tell me what you liked, what you didn't like, tell me all of it. I love hearing what you guys had to say and I love what you guys thought about the familiar idea. Damon was a bit of an asshole this chapter, but he made it up…right? I usually hate associating songs with fics, but in this case I hope you guys agree or at least dig the music. I WANT MUSIC COMMENTS! Lol**

**Read, Review, Review, Review, Review or I'll stop writing.**

**No I won't but seriously, do it. Let me know if the link doesn't work!**


	17. Dry

**A/N: Thank you guys so much for the reviews. Are you kidding me? You all are so amazing.**

Chapter 17: Dry

I woke up with my hair in my face. I could hear moving around outside of the guest room, but for the life of me, I didn't want to get up. If I could just lay here, in this bed in the middle of a witch run city for the rest of my life, I would've. As I opened my eyes and stared out of the window, I let my mind wander about everything.

For the first time last night, I'd tasted freedom.

True freedom. The kind that came with youth and rebellion. I got into a fight with someone I actually had a chance against and I came out on top. I'd danced at a real rave to songs I actually liked. I wasn't the smartest person in the room, or even the one with the most common sense. I'd had people who understood me on sight and accepted my brand of thinking. I actually met a vampire I liked.

It made me wonder about my life again. Coming here showed me that there was so much more out there to see than just the same shit in Mystic Falls. I knew that place like the back of my hand and it never once got interesting unless you were into all the stuff they had every year. I was no Miss Mystic Falls and I would never be Homecoming Queen. Class president went to the popular guy and the football team threw all the parties.

That wasn't me.

It never had been. I'd joined the cheerleading squad because Elena and Caroline wanted to and I just so happened to be good at it. The other girls couldn't tumble and dad had put me in gymnastics and ballet when I was three. Other than that, I had no real passion for it. Coming here had taught me that.

I'd only been here really a day and I'd learned so much. I'd learned it was possible to live freely in a city with different kinds of supernatural. For the first time since I'd been anywhere, no one knew who the hell I was. There was no secret this or spelled that, that could only be solved with Bennett magic.

I learned what it felt like to not be depended on.

And I actually loved this place. I felt like I belonged. Everything was so crisp and colorful here. The people weren't so stuck on trying to impress people they'd been around their whole lives. I hadn't seen the same person twice. It was like I'd died and gone to heaven.

Or wherever it is witches go.

That was another thing. I was pretty sure I could find out anything and everything about witches. What made you this, what made you that. How to handle your magic even when it hurt sometimes and how to really get a thorough knowledge of it. What kind of loopholes there were and were there boundaries or was everything limitless.

Could I be limitless?

My phone buzzed. Somewhere on the floor beneath me my phone buzzed.

I reached down, felt around, then answered it. "Hello?"

"Hey Bonnie!"

Jeremy.

I pushed my hair further away from my face and tried to gather my thoughts. "Hey, Jer, what's up?"

"Not much, getting dressed. I was thinking we'd go see one of those lame movies at the dollar theater."

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

"Jer, I'm still at…I'm still researching doppelganger stuff."

"Oh!" Jeremy said. "I thought you'd be back by now."

Never if I could help it. "I'm so sorry, I completely spaced."

"No, no." Jeremy said. "It's fine, do what you have to. I'll go hang with some of my friends from class."

That sounded good or a really great sounding lie. "I'm really sorry, Jeremy."

"Don't be. If anyone's actually doing something work a damn, it's you. Just text me okay, now I miss you."

Shit.

"I can do that." I said.

We hung up.

A part of me felt bad that Jeremy had to find something else to do today. Another part of me felt bad because I didn't feel bad about not being in Mystic Falls. Would Jeremy be down for a three hour drive and rooftop sitting? I knew that he would.

Looking at my phone I saw that I had text messages from my friends. I texted them all back the same reply, a very convincing lie about sleeping in a hotel room waiting for Damon's semi reliable source to uncover something, and sent it in a mass text. Elena said thank you, and that she hoped Damon and I weren't driving each other crazy. Stefan said to tell Damon not to do anything stupid and for the both of us to be safe. Caroline texted back "ugh" saying that sharing a hotel room with Damon was worse than a Survivor marathon, and Matt told me that my ass better re-reschedule with Jeremy. They all got smiley faces.

"Do you always click like that in the morning?" Damon asked.

For some reason or another, I thought it'd all been a dream. I'd gotten too drunk in a cathedral rave, pissed some guy off, kicked his ass, then came back to Roman's and fell face first into bed. When I woke up, I would walk out to hear Damon tell me how useless I was because I was drunk and then Roman would roll his eyes and tell me it happened to the best of us.

Clearly that wasn't the case.

Last night, after Damon kissed me and apologized, he begrudgingly gave me back my panties.

"If you don't put them back on…just put them back on." He'd said.

This morning, I was afraid to look at him. "Not really," I said, rifling through old text messages.

"Why was baby Gilbert sounding sadder than usual?" Damon asked.

I felt that bad but not really bad feeling again. "I was supposed to hang out with him today."

"Aww am I keeping you from something?" I could hear the smirk.

"I think you'd like it if you were." I replied.

"I'd like it even more if you stopped reading text messages from January and looked at me."

Why was everyone catching me off guard?

I turned over on my left side and pulled the covers all the way up to my neck. Damon looked me over and, beneath the covers, grabbed my hips and pulled me closer to him. I tried not to show the alarm that I felt, but I don't think I did it to well.

Damon rolled his eyes. "Here we go."

Huh? "What?"

He shook his head. "I'm waiting for that Bonnie logic to come down and spin some bullshit about how last night shouldn't have happened."

Last night should happen every day, at least twice for the rest of my life. Especially after school and on study breaks.

I made a face. "Am I that inconsistent?"

"I've never seen you drunk before."

I shrugged."I'm pretty much the same."

"Really?" he asked. "That girl last night was pretty fun. No whining, not complaining, just fun."

"When you don't give me reasons to whine or complain, I don't."

"So you admit you do it?" He raised his eyebrows.

"If you admit to being an asshole, I sure will."

Damon's hand rested on my hip, finger slipping under the lace. "I apologized, didn't I?"

Yes. Yes he did.

"That's not admitting it." I said, losing concentration when his finger traced circles on my skin.

He moved me closer to him again and I could feel his chest mine. "I'll work on it."

And then he was kissing me, the soft kind that I liked when he pulled away just a little and his lips still stuck to mine. The hand left my panties and traveled up my back, pulling me closer as his fingers gripped my hair. My hand went to his face, fingers tracing his jaw line and going up to his bangs. I pushed them out of his eyes and, peeking, got a look at his hairline. It was the most random part to find good looking, but I loved it.

He pulled my leg over his hip and kissed me again before he pulled back. "You're taking all of this very well."

"How should I be taking it?" I asked, kissing his bottom lip.

"You wanna second guess that question?" he asked.

"Cute." I narrowed my eyes and smiled. "Seriously, though. What were you expecting?"

"For you to freak and tell me how disgusting I am. That I'd probably used you or found some excuse to get you out of bed and be chicken shit around me all day."

"That's a lot."

"However, not unlikely." He replied.

"Highly unlikely. I know what I let you do last night and I know what I'm doing now. Just because you don't feel the same way I do, doesn't mean I fault you for my choices. It'd suck big time if you did use me, but…if it happens then I'll deal."

He frowned, it was the first time he'd ever looked like Stefan.

"The same way you do?" he asked.

Shit. Had I said that?

I looked down, but Damon used a finger and tilted my chin back up. "Stop doing that."

"Doing what?"

"Looking down all the time."

"I don't."

He looked at me.

"Not all the time Damon."

"Enough of the time." He replied. "Explain."

"I think it's obvious." I told him.

"Maybe I want you to say it." He said.

"I have a question." I said.

"You always do." He said. "Horrible subject change by the way."

I agreed. "Will you answer it if I ask?"

"Don't I always?"

"Usually with some asshole response."

He licked his lips. I averted my eyes.

"I'll answer it," he turned on his back. "If you sit here."

I didn't know what had gotten into him. He was…I didn't get it. I mean I knew from Elena and even some of our own experiences that Damon wasn't as bad as I used to think he was, but I'd never experienced this side of him before. Then again, I'd never experienced last night with him before.

I'd never experienced anything like that at all.

But all of that was irrelevant.

I wasn't in Mystic Falls and the things I'd thought about him could be put on the back burner until I got back. I had enough time to be confused about boys and I'd spent enough time being so. If I wanted answers and could get them, I would.

I straddled Damon slowly, and his hands went to my hips, steadying me. Seeing him like this and being naked was putting that warm feeling in my stomach again. I could feel Damon in my head, pulsing warmly in the background. I licked my lips and looked up, but I remembered in time that he hated when I did that.

I also didn't know where to put my hands.

Damon helped me out, grabbing my hands and putting them on his chest. I found myself liking how firm he was, how tight his muscles were. His hands went back to my hips and he stared up at me, letting me run my hands over his neck and into his hair again.

"You always grab my hair."

"There's a lot of it."

He smirked, but it wasn't as harsh as his usual one. "My mother had this hair. Ask your question, then you're answering mine. If you're honest with me, I'll be the same."

I nodded. "Yesterday, when Melissa told us everything, why did you get so upset?"

Damon had slipped the middle and ring fingers on both hands under the sides of my panties. He looked down, or away, and while I was tempted to do the thing he did to me, I didn't. Where mine was more so shying away from the situation, I think Damon was trying to find the right thing to say.

"She called you my mistress." Damon started. "That's the worst thing you can say to someone who's been free for over a century."

I nodded. "I'm sorry."

"It's nothing you did, it's just how I took it." He continued. "She made me seem like a lapdog or a lackey, and fuck if I haven't been doing that over enough girls around here lately."

I smiled, it was small. "I wouldn't do that."

"Do what?"

"Try to keep you in line or discipline you or any of that. That's not who I am. If you help me it's because you want to, not because I made you. I may have summoned you, but I think you would've helped me even if I hadn't."

"What makes you so sure?" he asked. "When I met you, you hated vampires. After awhile you hated me. What changed?"

I sighed. "I could say I never hated you, but that'd be lying."

"It would be."

"But," I paused. "You're the only one who really apologized to me about my Grams. You're the one who stepped up to make me a better witch. You showed me that while I might be a magical key for every lock Mystic Falls has, that I was more than that. I can do so much more than that. You may do crazy things sometimes, but you're a decent person. You're a good one."

It was something I'd been thinking about every since he saved my life that day. Regardless to what Damon or Melissa, said or thought, I was having the life sucked out of me. Summoning Damon that day was more like calling him. He may have felt that he had to answer, but it wasn't because I'd completely made him. I knew that on more than one level.

Whenever I asked him for something, he always did it and usually right then and there. He came to save me, he didn't take me to Elena's when I didn't want it. He bought me food when I didn't ask for it, he offered me his home when he knew our dynamic. Damon had brought me here to not only get a better understanding of my magic from an elder witch, but to also get me out of Mystic Falls.

He'd seen how close I'd been to giving up after the situation with Jonas and he'd been there for me. Slept on the floor the entire night after I had that nightmare. Maybe he didn't broadcast all of his good qualities and maybe he guarded himself behind smart remarks and asshole antics, but Damon was probably the realest thing in my life right now, the most tangible thing that really kept me grounded in reality.

That was what a familiar was, not a pet.

A knock on the door snapped us out of it. "You guys can just do it out here and I'll watch…er, paint!"

"Fucking Roman." Damon said. Neither of us had moved.

He sat up and pulled me to him, kissing me again.

"We should get up." I said.

He kissed my neck. "We are up."

I was losing my focus. "It's rude to Roman."

"He's fine," Damon said. "He's got Cody."

"_Charlie_ left a bloody hour ago." Roman yelled. "Get your arses showered and out here wasting time on this couch like productive people or so help me…"

I snapped out of it and got off Damon.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"To shower." I said.

"Seriously?"

"Very seriously." I needed to get my clothes on.

I grabbed some clothes and rushed across the hall to the bathroom, hoping Roman didn't see anything. The second I closed the door and was away from Damon, the spell of whatever had been going on with us, dimmed a little.

With his hands off of me, I could truly think about I felt with them on me. I liked it. I loved it. It made me feel exciting and wanted and…I couldn't really put all of it into words. If Stefan could make Elena feel like this, even a fraction of it, then I could understand some of the things she did for him just so they could be together.

I mean last night hadn't cost anybody their life, but still.

And on some level, a very rational part of me was freaking out. This was Damon Salvatore. Psycho Salvatore who was malicious and manipulative and violent. He'd threatened me and my friends on more than one occasion and who'd endangered us heavily on others. I'd given Caroline the hardest time for doing anything with him and gave Elena the same hard time for seeing the good in him I couldn't.

How had I gone from hating him to last night? When did I become attracted to that?

That kiss, the first one. That was the night I really saw who Damon was. He was drinking away his problems, or trying to at least, and wallowing in his own mistakes. It casted a completely different light on the things that he'd done. Granted those things were, in themselves, extreme, but Damon had done them for what he felt like was the love of his life.

I wouldn't know what I would've done, or how I would've reacted, if the person I spent over a century being in love with had somehow been lying to me the whole time and was in love with my brother.

And while there were no justifications for the lives he'd taken or the havoc he'd caused, Damon wasn't evil. He'd never quested for world domination or wanted to make humans pay or wanted unleash havoc and be the ruler of anything. He'd wanted the love of his life back

It was redemptive…in a psychotic kind of way.

In the shower I promptly freaked out about everything I'd done with Damon. I gave myself the time to feel ashamed of it, to feel guilty about it, to wonder what anyone especially my friends would think if they all found out about it. I thought about the fact that he'd had some type of intimacy with both of my best friends.

And when I stepped out of the shower, I pushed it all away and decided to just…not think so much.

I got dressed in a pair of white jeans and a denim shirt. Somehow Roman had found the most complicated versions of these things. The shirt clung to my upper body and the jeans were skinny. I'd never seen so much of my body while I was fully dressed. If you stared hard enough, you could see my bra size.

I stepped out of the bathroom and took my things back into the guest room. Damon wasn't in there, but he'd cleaned up and made the bed. My skirt and brazier were on the nightstand by the bed and my shoes were on the floor by the window. I thought about everything that happened last night.

Then I remembered not to think so much.

When I walked into the living room Roman smiled.

"What?" I asked.

"Hips." He replied.

"You picked the tightest jeans imaginable."

"Because hips."

I sat down beside him on the black leather couch. He turned his body quickly, so that his head was in my lap staring up at me and his legs were hanging off the arm.

"Where's Damon?" I asked.

"Melissa called him about last night." Roman said.

"Is he in trouble?" I asked. It'd been my fault, I should've gone with him.

"Probably not." Roman assured me. "Melissa comes off as a hard ass, but she only wants peace."

I started to call Damon, but Roman got me off track.

"Someone had fun last night." He wiggled his eyebrows.

"I agree," I smiled. "How was Charlie anyway?"

Roman rolled his eyes. "The same way he always is."

"An eye roll and a change in tone?"

"Which puts him at about a six."

We laughed. When I'd developed sex humor, I don't know.

"You and Damon seemed to have patched things up." Roman said.

"Something like that."

Roman poked my stomach. "I could hear 'something like that' through the walls."

If I could blush. "That's not embarrassing at all."

"It shouldn't be. You don't sound like a dying cat in heat like most girls. Right amount of moan, right amount of rasp. You're the reason Charlie stayed for as long as he did."

I covered my face with my hands. "You have to be stopped."

Roman laughed. "Never. So tell me about it."

"Roman…" I said.

"I meant how you feel about it." Roman rolled his eyes playfully.

I sighed. "It's weird."

"Because…" he said.

"I like him, but…I don't really know how to describe it. Damon and I hated each other, or actually thinking about it I hated him. Damon didn't really care. I just feel like I've gone from one extreme to the next in record time."

"Liking someone is kind of fleeting." Roman said. "I guarantee, knowing the girl you are, it happened gradually."

"I like to think so, but most of the buildup was circumstantial. We'd get out of a crisis and kiss each other. I'd get attacked and he'd be there. It just seems kind of…I don't feel like I earned what happened last night."

"Oh trust me," Roman said. "I found out what he said to you in the car. You earned it and some back pay."

I smiled. "You know what I mean."

"I do know what you mean, and I'll tell you this. Everyone gets feelings based upon their surroundings and the events that take place there. Maybe you didn't go out for dinner and a movie, or take pictures in a photo booth, but you guys had experiences that brought you closer. Nothing's deeper than saving a life or having yours saved. It's a bonding agent."

I played with the ends of my hair. "I just thought when I liked a guy, certain things would happen."

"The times have changed and shifted to where liking someone has to come with all of these stipulations and grand gestures and steps. I hate steps. By the time you're at the third step, you don't know what's next and you're bored because it's not instantaneous enough. You have to be this version of yourself that accepts everything about the other person, just to get to the part where you actually admit you like each other."

"The infatuation stage." I said.

"But that's just it Bonnie. That's another step. It's another reason for people in this day and age to justify why something can't be instant. It's too early, it's fast, you just met him, where did that come from. All of it is the outside world's way of justifying why you can't feel what you feel and it's telling people that it's wrong."

"So you're saying I should just tell Damon everything I feel?" I asked.

"I'm saying that instead of looking for a reason to not like someone who's done more for you lately than your best friend, maybe you should just go with it."

And then I asked the thing I'd been considering. "What if he doesn't feel the same?"

Roman smiled. "Damon doesn't do that with just anyone."

"He does that with everybody." I said. Who knows what he did with Caroline?

"Like fuck he does." Roman said. "Damon may be promiscuous, but it's extremely rare that he's a lover."

As good as he was at it…

"My point, Bonnie, is that you should worry about your emotions. It sounds completely fucked up, but it's true. If you like Damon, enjoy it, like him. Fighting it is only going to make it worse."

"I don't want to get hurt." I said softly.

Roman reached up and tipped my chin. "Then you're playing the wrong game of chance."

By the time Damon got back, Roman and I had had two Doctor Who marathons and dissected every psychological theme in The Devil Wears Prada. By the end of the movie, we concluded that they were all lost bitches with father issues. Damon tossed his keys on the table.

He looked bothered.

"How'd it go with Melissa?" he asked.

Damon looked at me. "She wants you to meet her."

I nodded. "I remember, we're supposed to go at nine." I looked at my cell phone. "It's eight thirty."

"I'm not going with you." Damon said.

I froze. "What do you mean? She told you to bring me."

"And now she doesn't want me to." Damon said, his voice annoyed. "Something about secrets that can only be shared by those of the craft and all that bullshit."

If I'd been nervous before, which I had when I thought the both of us were going, I was completely nerve wracked. Melissa was pretty and powerful and, from what Roman told me, a pretty amazing witch. But she scared the shit out of me and I didn't know if I wanted to be alone with her.

"Why would she tell you to bring me, but then say only those of the craft?" I asked.

"She didn't like the way I acted in her office." Damon folded his arms. "My punishment is that I have to let you find your way to her."

My eyes narrowed. "Find my way?"

"You'll have to open your third eye." Roman spoke up. "Witches do it all the time to keep coven meetings and locations secret."

I looked back and forth between them. "I don't know how to open it, she just opened it yesterday."

"You'll have to try." Roman said.

I wasn't prepared for this. At. All.

Damon must've sensed it. "Roman, give us a second."

"That wasn't a question was it?" Roman asked getting up.

"No."

Roman leaned over and touched the side of his head to mine. "You'll be fine love. You death gripped a witch last night. You can do this."

I smiled. "Thank you."

Roman got up, bowed, and disappeared into his room.

"Come here." Damon said.

I looked up at him. "I'm not a dog, Damon."

"Which is why didn't whistle. I'm asking you."

It was the last part that got me on my feet and crossing the short distance to him.

"I'm not going to stress to you how important this is." He said.

"It's pretty serious." I said.

"You have to focus Bonnie." He said. "None of that easily distracted shit."

"I know, I know." I said, taking a deep breath and letting it out. "Keep my mind blocked and my eye opened."

He nodded. "Do you remember what Melissa's magic felt like?"

I'd never forget it. "Yes."

"When you go outside, latch onto it and follow it straight to her."

"Yes dad."

"Bonnie…"His voice was low and serious.

"Damon, I get it. Repeating it isn't going to make you feel better about me going alone."

He looked at me, blue eyes unwavering. His jaw clenched a little as he stepped closer to me and put his hand on my arm. It was the first contact we'd had since I'd left the room this morning and I was suddenly regretting the decision to wear long sleeves.

He walked me outside and, when the cool night air hit me, I felt his hand brush mine. I wanted him to kiss me, but I didn't think the moment was right. He was almost furious about the whole situation and I was pretty sure if I did end up kissing, he probably would come with me. If Melissa said he couldn't then that's what that meant.

Damon's skin looked better on his body.

I closed my eyes and focused on my magic. Much like that day in the woods where Damon felt me, I dropped the shields around my aura and expanded it, letting it loose and allowing it to flourish and radiate off and around me. When I opened my eyes, the city flickered with lights and sounds. I looked at Damon.

He nodded. "Go."

East, I had to go east. My first steps seemed kind of surreal at first, but once I started walking, I knew I was going the right way. Melissa's magic was like a permanent stamp on the city, but there was only one really active part of it. When I got to the corner of the street, I could feel it like an internal compass guiding me and ushering me in the right direction. My legs moved automatically.

Whenever I passed a witch, and I knew when they were witches, they stopped and stared. I kept my pace quick and my mind opened to Melissa. I let my magic completely take over, following it and letting it guide me. After a few seconds I could see nothing but the magic, nothing but the colors and brightness of the city. The moon was bright and large over head, following me.

My body made turns here and there and, with each one, the sound of my surroundings changed. I'd hear people, then I'd hear cars, then I'd hear nothing at all. Someone was having sex in a car I'd just passed and a dog was digging in a trashcan. Charm City was alive and pulling me into it, guiding me into its depths.

I stopped.

When I opened my eyes I was standing in front of a white door. When I reached to knock, it opened by itself and the familiar feel of Melissa's magic invited me in. When I stepped inside, the door closed, and I walked deeper into the foyer. The feel got stronger and stronger as I turned into a kitchen, and then up to another door. Stairs took me deep into darkness and I gathered my aura around myself protectively.

My foot touched the bottom of the stairs and light blossomed in the room.

Melissa was sitting in the middle of the floor, waiting for me. Her hair was bone straight over her shoulder and her yellow green eyes glinted. She was wearing a deep green dress that stopped just above her knees and she was completely barefoot. She smiled.

"It took you less time than I thought."

"Thank you." I didn't know what else to say.

She shook her head. "There's no need for apprehension among sisters. Come, have a seat."

I walked slowly over to the middle of the room and crossed my legs, easing myself down slowly across from Melissa. She looked beautiful in the dimness of the light in this room and I noticed that not bright lighting seemed to be a theme of hers. There was the smell of sage burning and when I looked, there was a mortar and pestle on the floor full of it.

"Have you enjoyed the city?" She asked.

I nodded. "I love it here."

She smiled. "Most witches do. Witch cities are rare, especially in this vampire era."

"We're in a vampire era?" I asked.

"Very much so." Melissa said. "In the old days, vampires were hunted. They actually had reason to live in secrecy and do their work under the night sky. Now? With the media glorifying death and corruption and daylight rings being so easy to make, vampires are rising."

"How do you keep everything so…peaceful?"

"Power." She said simply. "And the enforcement of it."

She made it seem so easy, like that was all there was to it.

Melissa tossed her hair over her shoulder. "Damon said you were having trouble with your magic."

I nodded. "A little."

She smiled. "What seems to be the problem?"

I tried, but I couldn't put it into words. What I wanted to say sounded a lot like symptoms from a witch's WebMD. Straining, exhaustion, exertion, shortness of breath, nosebleeds. Although those were the complications of it, the real problem was that I just didn't know what the hell to do with it.

"Lack of knowledge."

Melissa nodded. " A lot of witches have that problem. The lack of true knowledge regarding magic and how it works is something that prevents a lot of our sisters from reaching their true potential. The fact that you've recognized this gives me hope."

I nodded. "I feel like I'm walking into it blind almost all the time."

Melissa held out her hands. "Join me."

I thought of the last time I truly held a witch's hand, and my Grams came to mind. I remember the power that flowed through the both of us as we kept the tomb open. The magic had almost killed the both of us, but she shouldered most of it and kept the burden off of me. I put my hands into Melissa's and warmth spread over me as she closed her eyes.

I could feel her searching and exploring my magic, flipping through it like the pages of a book. She found the time when I'd opened the tomb and when I made Caroline's daylight ring. The interactions I'd had with Klaus and the other vampires I'd faced. It was like she was going through the documentation of my magic, not that I knew I'd had one, but the sensation felt weird. It was like having a background check.

When Melissa opened her eyes and let go of my hands, she sighed. "You've wounded your magic."

Wounded it? "What do you mean?"

"Your constant rituals and personal neglect have left your magic wounded. It hurts, Bonnie. You haven't grown your magic or spent time with it. There is no relationship between your magic only than to help others. You plunge your hands deep inside of it and stretch it beyond its limits almost to the point of severing it. You allowed another witch to silence it completely. Frankly it's a miracle you still have any of it."

I looked down and away, she was right.

"Your magic is driven by your heart's desires." Melissa said. "It listens to your core. If you do not want to do something, your magic won't want to help you, no matter how hard you strain it. While it is a force that can be wielded it is something that serves the witch and her needs. Everyone doesn't have power Bonnie, and there's a reason for it."

"Your problem isn't with light and dark magic." Melissa said letting go of my hands. "As I stated, the spells that you cast give the magic that reputation and you cannot change that. What you can change is how you grow with your magic and allow it to flourish within you. Do not focus on becoming more powerful to save your doppelganger friend. Neither you nor your magic want that. You want to grow and blossom and be powerful for yourself. If you want your life and your magic, you have to fight for it. No amount of spells or rituals can do that for you."

I was crying. I didn't know why, but I was. I'd been violating the gift I'd been given and more over I'd been violating myself. It was what I'd known all along and what I'd been trying to deny. Since the vampires came to town, since Damon and Stefan came to Mystic Falls, I hadn't wanted any part of it. I hadn't wanted to know anything about saving vampires which was why I could never really grasp how to. I never wanted to use magic to help them, which is why it was always hit or miss.

I hadn't wanted, truly wanted, to open the tomb. Which was why my Grams had died.

The realization was like a slap in the face and the kick in the ass I needed. If I wanted to be powerful, I would have to do it for me. Not to stop an original, not to save Elena, not to kill Jonas. All of those things would come in time. If I wanted power, the real kind of power like Melissa, it had to be something that I wanted for myself. I'd fallen by the wayside and lost so much while everyone else prospered and gained.

"How do I heal it?" I asked. "My magic, how do I heal it?"

"I can help you." She said. "And I will, provided you agree to my terms."

I dried my eyes and took a deep breath. I nodded.

"The first is that you realize your life." She said. "Not for the negativity and the things you don't want, but for the things that you do. All of it can be gone in an instant, and the way you're going, none of it will be yours."

It was something I'd been thinking for a long time. "I will."

"The second," She said as she waved her hand over the sage, lighting it again. "Is that you define for yourself what is dark and what is light. Nature does not flinch at a flexible mind, but it balks at an upset in balance. There are good witches and there are bad ones, but magic is only the tool they use. Remember that."

"The witch," I said. "Esther. She killed her children and made vampires out of them. Is that not dark?"

"A mother killed her children, that's an upset in the balance. She made the immortal with the same magic she killed them with, that was the violation. Before them, nothing was immortal and nothing ever would be. She is the reason we have such creatures of darkness, but the magic she used was not dark. How she used it was."

"What's the difference?"

"Think of magic as like a gun." She said. "There are people who use guns for the right thing, people who use it for wrong thing. Guns can be used for the worst thing or the best thing. To kill, to save, to threaten, to protect. The gun itself is not bad."

I got it. "I understand."

Melissa looked at me."The third term is that you take care of Damon."

I blinked. "What do you mean?"

"He is your familiar, Bonnie." Melissa replied. "Bond with him, channel him, claim him. Your magic flows through him just as much as your emotions do. However, Damon is a lost soul and comes with his own line of care."

I gave a small smile. "I know."

"The both of you are bonded. Keep each other safe."

I nodded. "I will."

"Do you promise?" she extended her hand.

"I promise." I took it.

It was a flow of magic through my body and a soothing caress against my aura. It was the joining of pieces and the formation of a picture. It was the sun shining and the moon rising. I could feel my magic pushing and pulling like an ocean against the shore of my soul.

My magic had healed.

When Melissa let go of my hand I felt whole. It had been a long time, but I finally felt like I could do anything, just like I had when I first got to Charm City. It was like an awakening, like that first flicker of true power I'd ever felt.

Melissa looked at me. "How do you feel?"

Like I could move a mountain. "Thank you."

She nodded, but her face was still serious. "There is one more condition I have."

I nodded eagerly. If I could do it, then I would. "Anything."

"Stop helping the doppelganger."

The feeling, the completeness, the healing all froze in ice.

"What?" Had I heard her right?

"Stop helping the doppelganger." Melissa said. "That's not your place."

I sat there, shocked. "She's my best friend."

"And she's draining you dry, Bonnie Bennett."

"No," I said, trying to reason. "The things that happen her, she can't control. An Original vampire wants her blood, I can't just sit by and do nothing."

"I'm not talking about the vampires, that's nothing. I'm talking about the spells that you do for her that defy your own wants. More so, I'm talking about the spell you're planning on with her blood."

I stiffened.

"I saw the spell book Alaric Saltzman is trying to translate. If you use that book, you will do nothing but further contribute to the violation that is that entire mess of a witch's spell. It will kill you, Bonnie, it will suck both the magic and the life out of you and you will die."

"You just told me that magic was limitless," I was freaking out. "You said I was powerful!"

"And you are," Melissa said. "Beyond your wildest dreams. But nature has seen many lives before you and will see many lives after you. It can only go forward, there is no time reversal. The spell on that girl's blood is there to remain and if you try to defy the progression of nature, you will be smitten."

"Jonas." I said. "He's a warlock! He told me that as long as I kept a balance within myself then it was fine. You just said nature could deal with an open mind, what changed?"

"Nothing changed. This Jonas is absolutely right. You can keep a balance and as long as you do, nature will not bother you. The balance has to be something that doesn't upset nature, and you know it. Going back in time, reversing something centuries old, immortality, bringing back the dead. These are the things that upset nature's balance and these are some of the things you're talking about doing."

I was breathing harder, I was trying not to cry.

"So yes, little witchling, you could by all means do the spell in that book. You could jerk the progression of nature out of balance to save the life of one girl who has already chosen her fate. But answer this. What will you offer as a balance?"

I sat there, motionless and going through so many emotions I could barely see straight. I'd felt limitless and found out it was nothing. I'd felt complete and utter freedom with my magic for just a second and now I was back to square one. I could still feel my magic, thriving and complete and whole, but now I, the witch, felt like the ground had been snatched from under me.

"If you want to stop the original vampires then stop them, but I advise you to find another way to do it. The consequences for your actions will cost more than you can ever hope to pay."

I nodded slowly. "I understand."

If the walk back to Roman's was long, I didn't feel or remember it. I really wasn't even sure where I was going, but somehow I ended up on the same street the cathedral was on and from there I knew my way back. The street lights glowed brighter as I passed them, my magic finally tasting Charm City the right way, but I wasn't excited anymore.

Damon was waiting against the building when got to it.

"What happened?" he came to me. "Bonnie, what happened?"

"Can we go upstairs?" I asked.

"Don't do this subject changing sh-"

"I'm not." I said. "I'm not. I just want to lie down. I'll tell you."

Damon took me inside and stared at me full on as we waited for the elevator. I stared at the steel doors and fought the urge to turn to him. I just needed to get upstairs and lie down. That's all I wanted.

The doors opened and Roman stepped out, dressed to party. He looked at me and then Damon.

"What did you do?" he asked.

"Nothing." Damon spat. "She came back like this."

"I-I'm okay." I was losing it. "I just really want to go upstairs now."

Roman nodded. "I'll be back in a few hours, I'm bartending. We'll talk later love, yeah?"

"Okay."

Roman hugged me. Then, turning to Damon, said "Fix it."

When we were in the apartment, I went straight for the room and sat on the bed. My legs were burning and my feet were sore. Damon closed the door behind him and locked it. He turned off the light I untied my shoes and kicked them off. Damon sat on the bed and slipped off his loafers. I tried to lie down facing away from him, but he caught my shoulder and turned me around.

He lay down beside me. "Talk."

And I did, I told him everything. He smirked when I told him I'd gotten to Melissa faster than she expected and rolled his eyes when I told him we were in a basement. He listened when I told him about my magic being wounded and nodded at Melissa's terms.

He froze when I told him about Melissa's warning about helping Elena.

Which then meant that I had to tell him about all of the things I'd discussed with Alaric. The spell I planned on casting and the book he'd been translating. Damon stared at me intently as I described what Alaric had translated and why that, more than anything, was the real reason I'd wanted to get stronger. I told him about how Melissa agreed with Jonas, but the ultimatum she'd given me.

When I was done with everything, I was crying again.

Damon ran his fingers through my hair. "Why are you crying?"

"Because I can't do the spell." I said. "I don't know what to do."

"Just because you can't do the spell doesn't mean we can't find anything else."

"What else is there?" I asked, wiping my tears. "We kill Klaus, you all die. Can't take the spell off Elena's blood. What else is there?"

"We can desiccate them." Damon said. "Put grind up the white oak stakes and line the coffins with ash. Keep them in tombs we check every so often."

I shook my head. "It's not enough. It won't be enough."

"If that's true then right now, you don't need to worry yourself about how it's going to happen."

"She's my best friend." I said.

"And right now, you're worrying about a vision that's months away and that still may not come true. You said it yourself that killing Elena wasn't on Jonas's radar. Right now, we have to operate under the assumption that he still wants her alive for hybrids."

"But my vision-"

"Was a vision." Damon said. "Just a vision. For all you know, the girl on the ground was Katherine. Did you see her face?"

I thought about it. "No, but-"

"Then stop worrying about it." he said, pulling me closer. "Melissa told you to worry about yourself for awhile, try it. Everyone else is."

"Stefan's worrying about Elena."

"Because Stefan always worries about Elena because he feels guilty and that's what he wants."

"And what do you want?" I asked.

"For you to stop crying all the time. You're better than that."

"I try to be."

"You are."

Damon pulled me closer to him and put his face in my hair. I ran my hand under his shirt and pulled at the hem.

"Can we go back to this morning?" I asked.

"Do you want to?"

Yes, I did.

I sat up and unbuttoned the denim shirt, moving my hair out of the way and keeping my eyes down. When it was undone, I slipped it off and tossed it on the floor next to last night's outfit. Damon grabbed the neck of his shirt and took it off, repeating my motion of tossing it on his side. We both unzipped our jeans and tossed them with our shirts and Damon watched me as I took off my bra. Under the covers, he pulled me to him and put his fingers under my panty line.

"You didn't answer my question this morning." He said.

"I know."

"Are you going to?"

"No." I smiled.

He pulled my leg over his hip. "And why not?"

"I don't want to."

And then I kissed him.

**A/N: So yeah, yeah, yeah, this was a filler. Sort of. Mainly because Bonnie needed to realize a couple of things.**

**That vision could've meant ANYTHING. She's been driving herself into the ground over it, it's time to stop.**

**Bonnie (and the main reason for this story) needs to realize what she wants for herself. Not what Grams taught her, not Jonas says, none of it. Melissa had a point, you have to realize what you want for you.**

**Stop devoting so much of her time and energy towards Elena so much that she forgets what she wants.**

**Also, I think this chapter gives a great explanation for why her magic screws up sometimes. For those of you who wanted me to launch into a Bamon sexscapade, sorry. Bonnie may have earned that apology, but neither of them earned the loss of her virginity. That's a little much at one time lol. **

**It's the 19****th**** folks and I'm working on chapter 18. Hope you guys are all doing well.**

**Review, review, review. Tell me what you liked, didn't like, and what you hated. **

**Next chapter, Back to Mystic Falls. It's a lot easier to get close to someone when you're away from everything else, but how's it going to work when they get back?**

**Tune in next time on EFFERVESCENT *Dragon Ball Z voice***


	18. Vote

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews you guys!**

Chapter 18: Vote

Roman made me put my hands over my eyes.

Damon sighed. "Speed it up, Roman. We have to go."

"It's nine in the morning, you've got time!" He yelled from far away.

I could almost feel Damon roll his eyes and fold his arms. Damon had gotten the both of us up early so that we could hit the road and beat traffic. While I didn't remember traffic being that bad at nine o clock in the morning, I had to remember I hadn't driven many places that weren't Mystic Falls.

I heard roman come back in the room. "Can I open my eyes now?"

"No, no, no, wait!" Roman said. Five seconds later and "Okay, open your eyes!"

When I did, I smiled so hard the edges of my vision blurred.

Roman was standing in the middle of his living room wearing a suit that was disheveled around the neck, an overcoat, and his hair was messier than it usually was. Next to him, on an easel, was a picture he'd painted of the TARDIS. He looked just like Tenth Doctor. Well, a more punk rock version with the pink hair.

"See!" He said. "You said if I got you a TARDIS you were mine and here you are! You can't leave now because we're together."

"You're going to make her cry, Roman." Damon shook his head.

I wasn't going to cry. I mean I wanted to, I really wanted to, but I wouldn't.

Instead I got off the couch and hugged Roman. He rocked us from side to side, laughing and spinning me around. I hadn't wanted to leave when Damon woke me up this morning, but the feeling behind my eyes and in my chest let me know that I wasn't prepared for it.

But I had to.

I pulled back. "I'm definitely yours."

"So you'll stay?" Roman brightened.

"You know I can't." I smiled back.

"Sure you can." He said. "There's a high school six blocks away and a college a little further out. And, since you're a witch, you could get a job and waste time with me on the weekends."

Why wasn't that my life? "I've got to go Roman, don't make me cry."

"See," Damon said. "And I have to be in the car with her when she does."

"Stop being a wanker and take a picture of us." Roman tossed Damon his phone.

I halfway expected Damon to slap it to the ground, but he didn't. Roman picked up the picture he'd painted and held it behind us. Damon took two pictures and tossed the phone back. When I saw the pictures, I really did tear up. We actually looked like Martha and Tenth.

I had to leave now or I never would.

I hugged him again. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you more." Roman said. "I want you to remember what I told you. Everything."

"Even that Damon has an arse like a champion?" I smiled.

"_Especially _that Damon has an arse like a champion." He smiled.

"I'm getting a hotel the next time I'm here." Damon said.

"Do it and I'll kill you." Roman said, walking towards Damon.

"You'd miss me too much." Damon smiled.

And they hugged. It was heartbreaking.

Outside at the car Roman was going down a list. "Be good to her Damon, she's a good girl."

"No promises." Damon said, putting our stuff in the trunk.

"Make sure you let me know when you get there. Bonnie you too, you have my cell."

"I will." I promised.

"And Damon," Roman got serious. "That Elena girl sounds like the type of bird that's way more trouble than she's worth. Let her go and open your eyes."

I would _not_ be looking at Damon anytime soon.

When we were in the car, Roman and I stared at each other through the window. I felt like I was leaving the best place on earth, probably because I was. When Damon pulled off, I kept my eyes straight. I tried to block out the city and even reached into the back seat to lay down the picture of the TARDIS Roman had painted for me. If I was going to leave, I was going to prove Damon wrong and not cry. I could handle being ripped away from paradise.

Damon made a right at the light and slowed to a stop.

"What's going o-?"

Melissa stepped up to the driver's side.

She was dressed in amber and gold, eyes flashing as she leaned down. She had a gift in her hand and her jewelry sparkled in the sun. She smiled.

"You weren't just going to leave, were you?" she asked.

"Never." Damon smirked. "I don't suppose that's for me."

Melissa winked. "For your witch actually."

She and I both reached over Damon and, when the box was in my hand, I felt magic coming from it. It was a book of some kind, I knew that, but I could feel her magical signature inside of here as well. I looked up and smiled.

"Thank you." I said.

"Of course." She said. "And remember our agreement."

I nodded. "I do."

She looked at Damon. "Be good to her."

Damon only winked.

Melissa stepped away from the car and began walking in the opposite direction. I watched her in the rearview mirror as she sauntered into the middle of the street and disappeared. Damon pulled away from the curb and gunned it through the streets. For the first time, I was actually glad Damon drove so fast everything was a blur. I couldn't bear to say goodbye to the city three times.

I thought about all of the things I learned in such a short time, the main thing being that I didn't have a choice in being selfish anymore. My magic, as Melissa put it, wanted to only serve me and what I wanted. It would protect me and, if I needed it to, help Elena, but I couldn't let that be the basis for my living anymore. My grandmother had long since warned me about constantly helping someone who put themselves in harm's way and, while I didn't agree completely because it was my best friend, I could understand it.

One of the other things I learned was that life was fleeting. Instead of constantly wondering about why my life was the way it was, there had to be some level of acceptance. I couldn't keep hoping for everything to go away like I was, because it wasn't and it never would. I lived in a vampire town in the middle of a vampire era and that was it. I could sit around and mope or I could go back to who I used to be and try to make the best of it.

And Damon was right. The vision was as far off as far off could be. Months away with unclear details and facts that were way off. Jonas hadn't attacked me, vampires hadn't attacked me, and the last witch who'd attacked me had his ass handed to him. I'd been capable and dependable, able to hold my own. It was a great feeling.

Then, there was the situation with Damon.

It was completely new territory and I felt like we were leaving the only place that would truly be…that it could happen. Mystic Falls had too much judgment and it was surprising that I felt that way. There were love triangles and other shapes. Was I apart of it now? Did I count with Elena and the Salvatores? Maybe I hadn't slept with Damon, but we'd definitely done things.

Maybe we could talk about it.

I stopped myself before I could say anything. What could I say? What would I say? I'd never been in this situation before and I'd never been anything serious with Damon. Did I bring up Charm City now that we were gone? Did I tell him how I felt or that I didn't know what I wanted?

That was my answer. I didn't know what I wanted from Damon and I didn't know to expect from him. Honestly, I didn't even know if I wanted to expect anything from him. I'd experienced things with him and he was in love with my best friend. What did I say to that? What did I want from it? I wasn't going to be the girl who got her hopes up and I wasn't going to be the one to ask where we went from here. I wanted to, definitely, but I didn't know if I wanted the answer.

I remembered what Roman said. If I liked Damon, I liked him. There was no point in denying that what I felt for him went further than an attraction. I could admit that if anything happened to him, I'd feel bad and, I could also admit, that I liked being around him. He wasn't bad company at all. His taste in music wasn't bad either, once you got used to it.

The one thing I wouldn't do, as Roman said, was play the game of chance. It was a weekend. A day and a half. The flings and hookups everyone talked about on television. Maybe the both of us were caught in a moment and we'd just acted on it. Didn't people do that all the time? I'd heard of random make out sessions, and participated in one or two, and Matt had hooked up with someone recently as well.

And then there was Jeremy.

Jeremy who, even though he had been in relationships that ended in death, was still very optimistic about everything. He liked me, he made it clear that he did, and he was waiting for me to come back so that we could do the things that Roman stressed weren't necessary. Maybe, that's who I should've been concentrating on. This weekend was fun, but…maybe that's all it was.

I really wanted him to say something.

But he didn't. The whole way back to Mystic Falls, Nine Inch Nails filled the car and Damon pretty much sang the lyrics to those. My phone vibrated and, when I looked at it, I saw that Roman had sent me all the pictures of us and the one of me and Damon. I smiled.

It was a little after noon when we got back to Mystic Falls and I found that I hadn't really missed it. Coming from a city that looked so alive and moving, Mystic Falls looked boring and rural. The familiar streets let me know we were getting closer to my house and the stop sign let me know it was time to make a left.

When Damon pulled into my driveway, next to my car, I got out as quickly as I could. I was having one of those moments where if I didn't know what to do, I just wanted to be alone. I would go inside and hang up my painting of the TARDIS and stare at it, wishing me and Tenth Roman could just go anywhere and be anything. I realized he was absolutely right about me, that this place was too small for me. I had a better understanding of what I wanted now.

There was a time when I decided that, once I got to college, I wouldn't deal with witchcraft anymore. I would become the pediatrician that I wanted to be and leave Mystic Falls in the dust. College would be spent with me and the roommate I hated, the parties I got dragged to, and the midterms I'd cram for.

Charm City had changed that for me.

Now that I knew that there was a place where I could really be a decent witch, I wanted to be there. I knew from the way Melissa talked to me that she would help me if I let go of some of my fear. I knew that Roman would let me stay with him if I didn't want to use money to stay on campus. He was right, I could set up a life for myself there and I would be fine.

I got out of the car and walked around to the trunk. Damon had already popped it and I grabbed my suitcase and the other bags Roman and I had packed. He'd insisted on me taking everything and, whenever I went somewhere special, I'd send him a picture of me dressed up. Of course, when I reminded him where I lived, he shrugged and told me to make some guy's day anyway.

Damon grabbed my painting and together we walked up the steps to my house. I unlocked the door and stepped inside, smelling the familiar smells of my house. He and I walked upstairs to my room and, once inside, sat all of my stuff down. I turned around and put my hands in my back pockets.

"Thank you." I said. "For everything."

"Now do you see why you should just trust me sometimes?" he smirked.

"Yeah, actually." I smiled. "You were right."

"What was that?" he asked. "I couldn't hear you?"

I rolled my eyes. "You, Damon Salvatore, were absolutely right about this weekend. I needed it or else I was going to go crazy."

"You were already crazy," he said. "You just needed to relax."

I nodded. "I got a lot of things put into perspective."

"Like?"

"I should do a lot of things that I want to do for myself."

"And?"

"That my magic is to serve me and not everyone else."

"And?"

"That maybe vampires aren't so bad after all." I smiled.

His hand went to his chest. "Miss Bennett, is that maturity I'm hearing?"

I rolled my eyes. "I was mature when you met me."

"Setting me on fire and throwing pain at me wasn't mature."

"And making jerk comments while causing small town chaos was?"

He shrugged. "I never said I didn't have moments."

"Right. I'll remember that."

Damon nodded. "You did really well this weekend, all around. I always thought of you as stuck up and up tight, but there's a person in there."

I cocked my head. "I'm glad I'm defying negative notions."

"Completely."

"I thought you were a psychopathic monster bent on causing us all pain. You were for awhile."

"And now?"

"Now…I guess you can say I get it. I don't condone it, but I guess on some level it's in the past and I can accept it. You're…more real I guess."

His eyebrow raised. "You guess?"

"I'm sure."

A silence settled in the air, and the two of us stared at each other. Damon's fondness for the color black would never get old to me, especially when he made it look as good as he did. A part of me wished we'd stayed one more night in Charm City. I'd have had the courage to do the things I was thinking and I wouldn't be worrying about our dynamic.

Damon broke our silence. "I should go."

I snapped out of it, all blinks and nods. "Um, yeah, right. Thanks again."

He nodded. "No problem."

He walked out of my room and closed the door behind him, leaving me alone. I sighed and sat down on the bed. The bag next to me crinkled and the sound of the heater came on. I was alone in room and, despite having been so for seventeen years, it felt weird. There was no outspoken Roman, no cars outside honking. I couldn't feel any magic in the air or feel anything other than a growing loneliness.

Damon opened my door and walked back inside.

He stepped forward. "And how real am I to you?"

I stood. Courage guided me a step forward. "As real as I am to you."

"That was very political." Damon took another step.

"You would know." I took another step.

He smirked. "It's complicated."

"I'm sure it is."

"If we were smart," he said taking that last step. "We'd end whatever it is here."

He didn't have a name for it either. I took my last step. "We'd pretend like it never happened."

"I'd leave right now and drive back to the boarding house."

"I'd take my clothes and put them in my closet."

"I'd drink my bourbon."

"I'd practice spells."

We were inches apart now, and I was looking up into his eyes. I liked him towering over me, I didn't know why. Usually I hated it when guys made it a point to let me know I was only five two, but Damon didn't use it as a weapon. He was tall and I was short. That was who we were.

"Do you want me to go?" he asked. His voice was low and his eyes were bright.

I wouldn't give in. "Do you want to?"

"No." he said, arm snaking around my waist.

"No." I said, rising on my tiptoes.

We were leaning towards each other, my eyes were closing.

His phone rang. Stefan. It was Stefan.

Damon answered, not taking his eyes off me and keeping me close. "This better be good."

I heard Stefan say something. Damon's hand moved from my back.

"Yeah. Yeah, okay I'm on the way." He hung up.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"He said it's urgent." Damon said.

Figures. I'm back in Mystic Falls three seconds and there's a problem.

I sighed. "You have to go."

He nodded. "I shouldn't be long."

As good as that sounded, I really didn't want him to go at all. Maybe it was the Charm City still on my mind, but I wanted Damon here with me. A little part of me figured that maybe if he stayed here, the rest of it wasn't real. It would be us and my bed, just us and my bed.

I started to turn around, but he grabbed me. "Hold on."

Damon pulled me back to him, just like we had been, and looked me right in the eyes. We started inching towards each other at the same time, and, when we finally did kiss, it felt like something had been lifted off my shoulders. He took his time despite the fact that his brother was waiting, parting my lips with his tongue and making me moan.

He pulled back. "Keep it up and I won't leave."

That was fine, I didn't want him to.

I stood on my toes and kissed him again, pushing myself against his body and trying to feel all of him through our clothes. I was tempted to spend another night at the boarding house, now that Charm City had taught me how to do it. I wanted to lie in that oversized bed and be right in the middle with Damon's lips kissing me in places that shouldn't be allowed.

He laid his hand against the flat of my stomach, fingers slipping beneath the hem of my top. Our kiss deepened as his fingers unbuttoned my jeans. I felt his fingers trail under my belly button and slip, slowly, into my panties. Damon kissed along my jaw and went to my neck as his fingers got closer and closer to my-

Stefan called again.

Damon pulled back, kissed me again, the stepped away. "Later."

"Call me, I'm going to see Elena."

He nodded and looked me over.

"What?" I asked.

"I'll have to thank Roman for those jeans." Damon commented.

I rolled my eyes. "Go see Stefan."

After he was gone, I actually did put my clothes away. With every skirt, reality set in and Charm City was slowly becoming a memory. I hung up the shirts and folded the jeans, putting away my experiences in drawers and on hangers. I decided I wouldn't wear anything other than the jeans and some of the more tame tops. As much as I loved Roman and the favors he'd done my closet, wearing the clothes would only increase my longing for everything I couldn't have.

Besides, where the hell was I wearing a peplum skirt in Mystic Falls?

After everything was put away and my painting was hung, I got to Melissa's gift. I tugged at the ribbon slowly, teasing myself and prolonging the inevitable. I unwrapped the gift, sliding my nail under the edges and carefully tearing the tape. When it was unwrapped, I was surprised.

It was another leather bound book, only bigger and a lot thicker than the one Damon had given me. It was also blood red. There was a single black ribbon between the pages, and the magic it gave off was so intense my head pounded a little. I sat the book down and noticed the envelope that'd been beneath it. When I opened it, there was a letter.

_Bonnie,_

_I don't have to remind you that being a witch is something powerful and magnificent; however I do feel the need to remind you that it is also yours. Never forget that. The magic that flows through your veins and makes your will be done is yours and yours only. The book I've given you is to help not only with your magic and the building of it, but to also help you better understand how to use it, own it, and help it thrive. The section on familiars will also be very useful to you and Damon. I do not believe in luck, so I won't wish it, but I do believe in blessings._

_Blessed be, sister._

_P.S. If you read like I think you will, you can solve your vampire problem._

_M.R._

I folded the letter and put it back inside the envelope, sticking it inside the box and sitting down on my bed. I opened the book and crossed my legs, the intellectual in me taking over. I saw the words that gave me spells without actually giving me spells. It was more of a focus on magic and what I wanted it to do instead what would happen as a result of me doing it. It was like if I wanted it to start a fire; this book would tell me how to start one with my magic instead of telling me the words to say to make one happen. It put me in direct control of everything.

It was amazing.

So amazing that Elena called me almost an hour later and fussed. "Why am I finding out from Damon that you're back?"

"Sorry," I said as I closed the book. "I got sidetracked."

"Well sidetrack your ass over here, I missed my friend." She said.

I smiled. "I'm on my way."

When I hung up, I looked back at the book and sighed. I hadn't gotten too far, maybe like the twenty third page, but all of the writing was really small and super informative. Melissa had given me more than a book of spells, she'd given me a guide to learning my powers. It was more than I could've hoped for and more than I could ever thank her for. I decided that I'd do something for her and send it by way of Damon.

Scratch that. If he ever went back to Charm City, I'd be right there with him.

Lately, the drive to the Gilbert house was something I hadn't really taken much joy in. Now, after my amazing weekend and advice from the best people I'd ever met, I felt…I don't know, recharged. I still had the problems I'd always had, but sometimes stepping away from everything made it easier to deal with everything. I wasn't happy by any stretch, but I was more optimistic.

Elena hugged me when she opened the door, then stepped back and looked at me.

"Cute outfit, Bon." She said, touching my shirt.

The outfit was a sheer pink sleeveless button up, skinny jeans, and flats. I'd wanted to wear something more simple, but Roman told me to let him see me off with a bang. I'd wanted to change my clothes the second I'd gotten back, but I'd gotten sidetracked with the book.

Inside, Elena took me to the living room and we flopped down in our usual spots.

"So, did you find anything?" she asked.

"Not really." I said. "Doppelgangers are rare and finding out information them is even rarer than that. It's all pretty much the same."

She nodded. "Yeah, I figured as much. If there was more than one doppelganger around, I'd probably be off the hook."

It was more specific than that, but "Probably. How's everything here?"

Elena rolled her eyes. "Stefan's moody again, for whatever reason and Jeremy still isn't talking to me."

"Still?" I said. "He can't be that mad at you for not telling him."

"He's not," Elena said. "He's mad because he feels like he put you in danger."

"It wasn't that serious." I said. "Well, it was, but I mean that he couldn't do anything about it. If it wasn't in the woods, it would've been somewhere else probably when I was by myself. I was lucky he was there to at least witness something."

Elena sighed. "Well, he's not seeing it that way. I'm the reason everything's happening and I'm the reason you were kidnapped."

"Kidnapped is a harsh term."

"It's kind of what happened."

"Kind of."

We smiled.

"How was it with Damon?" she asked.

Amazing. Wonderful. Spectacular. "It was okay, typical."

"Really?" she asked. "Care and I had a bet on how long it'd take you to kill each other."

I shrugged. "He's not really that bad. We kept our distance and spoke when it was necessary."

Elena nodded. "Where did you guys end up going anyway?"

"Atlanta." I said. Damon and I had already gone our cover story this morning. "He knew a witch there."

Elena smiled. "She owned a bar, right?"

"Right."

"That was probably one of the best trips I'd taken, looking back on it."

I nodded. 'It was pretty cool."

The both of us heard something fall upstairs. Elena sighed again.

"Do you want me to talk to him?" I asked.

"No," Elena shook her head. "He's mad at me, he has the right to be."

"Maybe. But let him be mad because you're his sister, not over me."

"I don't know the kind of mood he's in." Elena said.

"I promise to be careful," I said chuckling.

If I was being honest, despite the things that were happening between me and Damon, I was still a little excited to see Jeremy. We still hadn't hung out the right way, and by right I mean without me being sucked through trees, and Charm City was still giving me a mood boost.

Jeremy had his headphones in when I stepped into his room. He had his sketchbook out, hand moving furiously, and his head bobbed to the beat. He was wearing a white t-shirt and red loose shorts, and his socks came up to his calves. He mouthed the lyrics to a song I couldn't hear and his face scrunched with the song. I closed his door to a crack and sat beside his feet. He jumped when he felt me sit.

"You're back!" he snatched his headphones off.

"Looks like it." I smiled.

He returned the smile and it was so warm and genuine, I felt bad all over again about not being able to hang out with him.

"How was the research thing?" he asked.

I shrugged. "About as well as to be expected."

"Didn't find anything?" he asked.

"Nothing we didn't already know."

"See," he said. "You should've stayed here. It'd have been more fun."

I doubted it. "I believe you."

"I've been working on my project." He said. "I think it's turning out pretty good."

He turned the sketchbook around and showed me the picture he'd been sketching. It was me, floating in the air in one of the poses I had done, my hair like a thick cloud around my head. It wasn't finished yet, but I knew it'd be amazing once it was. I smiled and took it from him.

"This is pretty cool." I said, admiring how close it looked to the picture beneath it.

"I'm trying to figure out how I want to do the color." He said. "If I go to bright, it looks fake. Too dark and everything blends."

"I trust you to find a peaceful median."

I handed him back the sketchbook and he took it. Our fingers touched and the electricity that shot through my body was instant. He smiled again and stared at me, head cocking.

"What?" I asked.

"You look different."

"It's the clothes." I said.

"No." he said. "They're nice and all, but you just look…relaxed."

I made a face. "Relaxed?"

"Yeah. I haven't seen you not stressed since the Salvatores showed up."

He reminded me why I was here. "About that."

Jeremy rolled his eyes. "You're going to talk about Elena aren't you?"

"You know I am."

He sighed. "I know what you're going to say, and the answer is no."

"So what was I going to say?"

"That I should start talking to Elena again."

"Wrong. That's not what I was going to say at all."

Jeremy sat up a little and looked at me. "So what are you going to say?"

I looked at him. "I'm okay, Jeremy."

He stared. "That's not the point."

"That is the point." I said. "I agree with you that Elena should've told you something, but it's more complicated than you think."

"No one knows what I think because no one gives me the chance to." Jeremy said. "If someone said something to me and I said something stupid or did something clumsy then maybe. All I've ever tried to do was help and by that time everything's so far gone that there isn't shit I can do."

"And so you're mad at Elena because she doesn't tell you what's going on?"

"No. I'm mad at Elena because I told her what I was going to do, where I was going to go, and that I was going with you. She heard me say all of those things and didn't say anything. She knew Jonas was alive and maybe she didn't have to tell me, but she could've suggested something else, she could've said maybe it wasn't a good idea. She didn't do anything."

"I knew Jonas was alive and I didn't do any of those things either."

"It's different. You probably thought if something happened maybe you could handle it. Maybe you didn't think he was going to attack or anything like that, or maybe you did I don't know. The point is that I was the one you were out there with and I couldn't do anything about it. I watched you get pulled away from me and I couldn't grab or pull or do anything. We could've done the same thing in the backyard if I'd known, Bonnie."

I opened my mouth and he cut me off. "If something had happened to you, it'd have been because I asked you to go out there with me. I don't, and I've never, asked Elena to give me every specific detail of what's going on. But I do ask her to tell me when I may or may not be potentially endangering someone I care about."

I realized we were closer than we had been when we started talking. It wasn't the close me and Damon were sometimes, but it was close enough. I understood exactly what Jeremy meant. Whenever the Salvatores or Elena kept something from me and then came to me with mountains on top of mountains of trouble, I seethe. Why they hadn't told me something from the start always boggled my mind. It was then that if I casted the wrong spell or wasn't powerful enough I was deemed useless. Coming in on the back end of things never made any situation better.

"It's like," Jeremy went on. "I know that she's my sister, Bonnie. I love Elena. But she can't keep endangering people by thinking ignorance is some kind of bliss. It never works out. She hides something, had Stefan or Damon glamour me, and then I end up being needed anyway. It doesn't make sense."

"And on top of that, she's so dishonest. I've caught Elena in at least three lies a day since she's met Stefan, when all she's been my whole life is honest. I don't like what he's doing to her, I don't like the effect that vampires have on her. She's so worried about protecting me, but who's protecting her? The moody Salvatore or the Psycho one?"

I sighed. "Elena…you're all she has Jeremy. You aren't that affected by the vampires as much as she is because she fights to keep it that way. Maybe it's not the right thing to do, but keeping you safe and out of harm's way is something all of us want. If she were to lose you, I don't know what would happen to her."

"That doesn't give her the right to withhold anything, and she will literally withhold it. It's like I know we have our secrets, but I would think that if it were life threatening, we'd tell each other."

"Like you told her about Anna?" I asked.

"That…that wasn't the smartest move I've made, but what if I'd found out about it sooner?"

"You mean right after Vikki died and you hated everyone including yourself?"

"You aren't going to let it go are you?"

"No."

"When Vikki died, it hurt. And yeah, maybe I went off the deep end a little and I wanted to have that with someone again, but Elena was so stuck on trying to get me to stop being upset."

"In all fairness, Jeremy, you weren't the easiest to talk to then. You still aren't sometimes."

"Maybe I'm not." He said. "That doesn't mean you stop trying."

I took a deep breath. "Jeremy, I can't make you forgive Elena. I understand why you're upset and you're entitled to it, but if you are going to be mad at her then be mad at her for something else. Don't be mad at her for trying to protect you."

He rolled his eyes.

"I'm serious, Jer. I'm fine. What happened, happened, but I'm fine and I'm sitting right in front of you. Nothing terrible happened in those woods and nothing would've happened because of you. Jonas would've done it anywhere at anytime. I'm glad you were at least there when it was over."

He looked down. "You wouldn't say anything. You scared the shit out of me."

"I scared the shit out of myself." I told him. "But the point is that we both walked away from the situation and now it's time for you to forgive Elena."

"I thought you said you weren't making me." He looked at me.

"I'm not. I'm asking you to."

We sat there in silence for a second and looked at each other. Jeremy's hair was messy and kind of spiky with some fringe on his forehead. He looked thoughtful for about a minute, then rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Fine." He said. "But I'm not making it easy on her."

"I don't expect you to." I said. "but she is your sister."

"You sound like Ric." Jeremy said.

"Alaric's a smart guy." I replied.

Jeremy looked at me. "You ditched me Saturday, I should give you the cold shoulder."

"You could never." I smiled.

He smiled back. "I could do it a day."

"You couldn't for an hour."

"A couple hours."

"Barely a minute."

"You're right."

Jeremy grabbed my hand. "I missed you."

"I missed you too."

"You owe me hangout."

"Yes I do. When?"

"No, no." he said. "I'm not making any plans or setting any times. You come and get me when you have time."

"Sounds like a plan." I smiled. "Or not much of one."

My phone vibrated and right when I opened the message, Elena came up stairs.

"Stefan says we have to come over. It's urgent."

Jeremy started to put his headphones back on, but I stopped him. "You're coming with us."

"What? Why?" he asked.

"You can't be mad because you don't know anything, then miss something. Put on some jeans."

When we got to the house, I found that everyone was in there usual space. Caroline came and hugged the both of us, and Jeremy took a seat on the couch. We all took our seats and when I looked up, Damon was staring at me. He'd taken usual spot next to his brother at the fireplace and I sat down next to Elena and Caroline. They both stared at me for a second, but then were drawn to the main attraction.

A lot of people, including myself, said that Katherine and Elena were identical, but that was only until you saw them in the same room together. Elena had once remarked that she looked nothing like Katherine and of course Caroline and I agreed because we were her best friends, but now I knew what she meant.

The both of them were beautiful, except where Elena went to efforts to downplay herself, Katherine owned it. She wore clothes that hugged the curves Elena only showed during formal events, and exposed just enough cleavage to remain classy if you could call it that. Her hair was artfully done in curls that feathered away from her face, where Elena tucked hers behind her ear almost a thousand times daily. Her eyes were kohl lined and lipstick red to perfection. Elena never believed in makeup outside of cheerleading and dances, although she'd started wearing lip gloss and eyeliner more. Seeing the two of them together, they looked alike and they didn't.

It was weird.

And on top of all of that, the both of them wore similar expressions when they saw each other. The same glare and disdain they held for each other probably went deeper than the one any of the Salvatore brothers. Well, maybe not Damon. While Elena's was full on hate, Katherine's was more amused superiority.

Damon wasn't amused.

"You called me for this?" Damon sneered. "I said _good_ Stefan."

Katherine cocked her head. "I remember you saying I was the best on several occasions."

"Lower standards."

She laughed and I could feel him seethe inside my head. "I don't remember you being this bitter. Then again, Stefan was always-"

"Why are you here?" Stefan said.

Katherine blinked. "I miss you."

"You can go."

She tsked. "That's not nice, lover."

"I didn't want it to be." Stefan said. "Leave. Now."

Katherine spun on her heel. "I don't think you want that."

"Nobody pays you to think." Damon interjected. "Do a trick or leave."

Stefan backed up his brother. "As much information as you think you may have, we're more than likely good without it. Thanks but no thanks."

Katherine smirked. "Let's put it to a vote shall we?"

"It's unanimous," Damon said. "Get the fuck out."

"Damon," Katherine said. "This is really unbecoming."

"Cut the shit, Katherine." Stefan said.

"Come on now, seriously. Let's do a vote."

The Salvatores glared at Katherine, but she did nothing but smile. It was like she loved getting under their skin and maybe that's what it was. I could feel the hate coming off of Damon in waves, filling my senses and stifling me. He was so angry, I could see his jaw clench from where I was.

Jeremy touched me. "Are you okay?"

Just like that, I was back in my own head.

I nodded. I hadn't realized I'd been grabbing the edge of the couch so hard.

"I'm okay." I nodded. "Thank you."

Katherine walked towards the center of the room and spun. "All those in favor of me leaving, raise your hands."

We all raised our hands. Damon raised two.

She beamed. "All those who want to know what Klaus is up to, lower them."

And just like that, Katherine was the tallest person in the room.

One by one our hands went down and Damon's hate for Katherine skyrocketed in my mind. It was like a cloud of red blanketed over my mind and suddenly I couldn't think of anything other than ripping her limb from limb. I closed my eyes and fought off Damon's emotions. If I didn't, I'd hop over the couch and attempt something stupid.

"You know what Klaus is planning?" asked Stefan.

"I always know what Klaus is planning." Katherine said, walking around the room. "Outrunning someone means you're always three steps ahead. Lucky for all of you, I'm five."

"And so you came back here to warn us?" Elena scoffed. "How nice of you."

"Extremely nice, little sequel. And you're going to do something for me."

"Pass." Damon said. "Whenever you get involved, shit goes south."

"And whenever I'm not involved, you wish I was. This isn't something any of you get to run from anymore. Klaus has a plan and it's a solid one."

"What is it?" Caroline asked.

Katherine turned to Stefan. "If I tell you this, I need protection when the time comes. When and if Klaus finds out you know what he's doing, he'll know I told you."

"If we were powerful enough to protect you from Klaus, he'd be dead already." Stefan said.

"And yet somehow she," Katherine pointed at Elena, "Is still alive."

"No." Elena spoke up. "Nothing's happened yet and as far as any of us know, he still wants me alive. I mean, he wouldn't kill me he's had the opportunity."

"We can't wait around until he makes a move, Elena." Stefan said. "I don't like this anymore than you do, but it's what we have."

I was still struggling with Damon's emotions. There was hate and confliction, but overall there was a sadness deep within him that resonated through my core. When I looked at him he was the picture of boredom and disinterest, but on the inside he was a mess of emotions.

Neither of the Salvatores said anything, but their eyes were locked. The rest of us were sitting there waiting for a verdict. Damon's emotions eased off and his decisiveness took over flipping through the benefits of helping Katherine. On one hand her information was always useful, although you often had to decipher how useful and when it would be. On the other hand Katherine was the snake that kept biting. Her agenda went further than protection and we all knew it, but right now she had the upper hand.

"Fine." Stefan said.

Katherine looked at Damon. "Damon?"

Damon stared for a few seconds. "Fine."

"Gather round, children. Mother has a story." Katherine said, heading towards the liquor cabinet.

Katherine sat on the couch and crossed her legs. As her eyes looked over us, I realized another difference between her and Elena. While Elena was more forthcoming, Katherine preyed on the lack of knowledge. Her dishonesty ran deeper than just lying. She was the kind to tell you what she wanted you to know and allow you to connect the wrong pieces. Thinking about it now, we were probably better on our own. She took a breath and crossed her legs.

"Klaus plans to harness the power of the summer solstice to make more hybrids."

**A/N: And there you have it folks. We Also know what Klaus is planning now, AND why Bonnie's vision took place in the summer. I think it's pretty cool, and I'm going to give a great explanation for it. We're saying bye to Roman and Melissa, for now, but I'm so glad you guys loved them as much as I do. I had so much fun writing them, but I think I'm going to have even more fun with Katherine! I adore her. Damon and Bonnie have decided to remain closer, how could they not, and it'll be the groundwork for my next chapters. Also, we're going back into Bonnie's magic a lot more. Like almost to the point of less vampire plot and more Bonnie, Magic, Damon, Familiar drama. Damon meant what he said about Bonnie not worrying about it and he's going to keep her to that and her magic. It's kind a full circle type of deal you know? Anyway I wanted to get them back to Mystic Falls and also lay some more groundwork for Bonnie and Jeremy as well. I hope you guys liked this chapter. **

**Read, Review, Review, Review, Review.**


	19. Help

**A/N: You guys are the best. You really keep me on. Writes, writes, writes.**

Chapter 19: Help

**Damon POV**

"What's going on?" Bonnie asked.

I looked down at her, how close we were. Her eyes were like amber and emeralds, spinning and mixing into each other and creating a color I couldn't quite name. I remember how they used to look and I thought this suited her better. Her lips were looked soft and I knew from personal experience they were. Heart shaped face filled with confusion and wary for whatever news I may have for her. We'd just come back from a trip the both of us needed, now reality was setting in.

"He said it's urgent." I told her.

She looked at my chest for a second, then back to me. "You have to go."

I nodded. "I shouldn't be long."

Bonnie turned and reached for her bag of clothes. I thought Roman had been a little excessive when he donated her clothes, but after seeing some of the new stuff she'd come back with I agreed. You could make out her shape now, how shapely her legs and ass were. You could see the flat of her stomach and how small her waistline was. Bonnie's breasts were full and firm, filling out the tops on purpose now instead of by chance.

I owed Roman a thank you card.

"Hold on," I said, turning her back around.

We kissed again, and maybe it was that I had to leave, but it was more intense than it'd been when Stefan fucking interrupted us. She pushed herself against me and I realized I liked it when she did. Usually girls shrank away from me, but Bonnie met me head on. I kissed her slowly, parting her lips with my tongue and swallowing her moan.

If she kept that up, I wasn't leaving. When I told her as such, she didn't look bothered.

She kissed me this time and I didn't care what Stefan wanted. I wouldn't leave until I'd tasted Bonnie again, locking my arms around her legs and pressing my lips against the lips between her legs. I knew she wouldn't mind, would probably be eager for it. I'd done it on a whim, just to see if she'd let me go that far, and I was glad I did. She'd been the sweetest thing I'd tasted since my mortal life, calming a sweet tooth I hadn't even known I'd had.

I pressed my hand against the flat of her stomach, dragging my nails light against her skin as I bit her bottom lip softly. I unbuttoned her jeans and slid my hand slowly down the front of her panties. I was getting closer and closer to that bit of flesh we both wanted me to touch. I took my lips from hers and kissed her neck, right below her ear.

Fucking Stefan called again.

She told me to call her because she was going to see Elena and, at the mention of the name, I somehow felt off. I was supposed to be in love with a girl who hadn't chosen me. I was in love with my brother's girlfriend and the doppelganger to my ex. If you could really call Katherine an ex. A part of me accepted the fact that I loved Elena, and that I always would.

The other part was tired of playing second string to my younger brother.

Somehow, it'd become the theme of my life. Whatever I did, Stefan outshined it. Whatever moment I had, Stefan somehow made himself a part of it. I couldn't hate him for it because he rarely ever did it on purpose, but it was annoying all the same. Katherine hadn't made it any easier on either of us, especially me. She'd told me plenty of times that it was always Stefan, then marveled at the pain she caused. Elena was at least sincere with her emotions, which hurt just the same.

Loving the two of them was killing me in ways I couldn't begin to understand, but for some reason, I couldn't stop. It was like a force drew me to them and pulled me under no matter how much I struggled. I would fight one and the other would surface. I would avoid one and bump into the other one. Mystic Falls wasn't the place to be if I wanted to avoid the strings of fate, but I couldn't think o anywhere else to go.

Bonnie had taken my mind off things.

And it had been everything. I'd looked into the eyes of someone knew, someone who knew about me, my highs and my lows, and didn't let it taint what she thought about me. Someone who had hated me more than anyone, but had come to see me for the person I pretended I wasn't. Bonnie saw the best me in me and, even though I didn't want to, I often showed it. It wasn't something either of us sought out to do, but it was just how we acted around each other. It was both confusing and amazing at the same time.

With Bonnie, there was no struggle. I didn't have to worry about the past or whose toes I was stepping on. I didn't have the constant worrying about my relationship with my brother and would I finally lose him over the girl we both loved. I didn't yearn to be more than just myself and I didn't have to hold back because I might say something immoral. Bonnie had seen her fair share of tragedy and, while she might not be completely foul mouthed and ill tempered, the inner fire she had burned brighter than anything I'd ever seen.

I could feel Bonnie's confusion the whole car ride home. Once I even saw her turn to say something, but she stopped herself short. It wasn't rocket science to figure out what it was about. Things had gotten real in Charm City, realer than I'd expected, but I couldn't find myself regretting it. It was new and deeper than it should've been so quickly. I was confused myself.

I knew that by the time I'd gotten to Bonnie's house, she'd left it up to me. If I'd wanted it to go forward, it would. If I didn't, she would keep quiet about everything and keep her memories to herself. I knew that because in addition to feeling the feeling of resignation, I just knew that's who she'd become as a person. Lately she'd given so much that it made sense that she'd keep it, us, to herself.

I wanted to keep it to myself as well. Lately so much of my intentions had been viewed as wrong or evil, when all I wanted is the same thing everyone else did. If I was going to do whatever it was with Bonnie, it would stay between us. All everyone else did was include their own drama, I found that I didn't want it.

I met Stefan in the center of town, standing underneath the magnolia trees. Seeing them in bloom like this reminded me of my mother and the way we danced outside. Mystic Falls had ruined it, hanging fliers and banners and shit everywhere, really taking away from what the trees had to offer. After this shit with Klaus was over, I'd never come back here.

"Damon." Stefan said as I approached.

"Brother." I said, coming to a stop beside him.

"How was the trip?"

I shrugged. "About as standard as information hunts go."

Stefan nodded. "What did you find?"

"The spell Bonnie was planning to do with Alaric is bust. She tries it, she'll die."

Stefan swore. "What if she got stronger?"

Same result. "She'd kill Klaus, herself, and us."

Stefan pinched the bridge of his nose. "Did you find anything useful?"

"There's another way to get rid of them," I told Stefan. "Bonnie just has to find out what it is. We have the time, we just have to keep at it."

"And you're working with her?"

"As much as anyone can. She's annoying at times."

"So are you." Stefan said.

"Mine's tasteful." I smirked.

"The fact that you said that worries me."

"What doesn't worry you?" I asked.

Stefan looked up at the trees. "Someone has to worry Damon."

"I remember for awhile there, it wasn't you."

"I was always worried about Elena." Stefan said. "Everything I did-"

"Was for her." I finished.

"And you." Stefan replied.

Stefan told me once, when he'd gotten back, that Klaus had threatened him with me on more than one occasion. As a matter of fact, the whole reason my plan went to shit was because if anything happened to Klaus, Stefan would be compelled to kill his brother. Of course, knowing that, it would've been redundant anyway.

I touched my chest. "I'm touched."

"You should be."

"So why'd you call me here?" I asked. "As you can see, the info could've waited."

Stefan sighed then faced me. "I've got my own source coming."

I frowned. "I'd ask who it is, but I have a feeling I wouldn't get an answer."

"More than likely not."

"So what kind of information does this source have?" I asked.

"They say it's something big." Stefan said. "Really big."

"I can unzip my pants and show you really big." I told him. "What are they giving us to the point that we would even consider listening?"

Stefan rolled his eyes. "If she says she has something, I have to believe them for Elena."

"You said her and them. Which one is it?"

"I need you to trust me." Stefan said.

"You were murderous on human blood the last time you told me that."

"And now I'm not." Stefan said, eyes looking into my own. "I need you to trust me."

Because he was my brother, I agreed. Whoever he was getting information from must have promised him something huge if he was acting like this. Usually Stefan kept his skittish ways to himself. If he had a secret to keep, he kept it. We'd gotten than from our father.

"Meet me at the house in an hour," he said. "I'll call everyone else."

"Bonnie's at Elena's." I told him.

He nodded. "See you then."

"Klaus plans to harness the power of the summer solstice to make more hybrids."

I shouldn't have been surprised that Stefan's source was the one bitch we shouldn't have been messing with. I shouldn't have been surprised that she came with her own fucking agenda. But even then, somehow, some-fucking-how, I was still as shocked as everyone in the room.

Caroline spoke. "What do you mean, harness the power of the summer solstice?"

"Exactly how it sounds." Katherine said. "He's going to harness the power of it. Once he does, he isn't going to need a doppelganger anymore which means poor little Elena is expendable."

"Won't need the doppelganger anymore?" Stefan asked. "How is that possible? The doppelganger makes hybrids, he can't do it without her."

"Actually," Bonnie spoke up. "It's not impossible."

We all looked at Bonnie. For some reason she looked new to me, more than usual. I hadn't seen her in almost two hours and I realized now that I was allowing her to go back on her word to Melissa. I promised Bonnie just last night I wouldn't let her worry about it, and here we were.

We should've stayed in Charm City.

"Doppelganger blood acts like a bonding agent." Bonnie went on. "Since you can't be a werewolf and a vampire at the same time…it bonds the two species in the same body."

"Smart girl." Katherine said.

"But how would he bond them without doppelganger blood? He needs it." Caroline chimed back in.

"Hence the summer solstice." Katherine said. "Whatever he's doing is going to make it possible."

"And how do you know this?" Stefan asked. "How are you getting information?"

Katherine looked like it was obvious. "Pick the dumbest grunt and make his dreams come true."

Fucking disgusting.

I kept my place. I didn't move, I didn't blink, I didn't make a motion. I didn't trust Katherine and I wasn't about to start now. I also had to keep my cool. I'd seen Bonnie struggling with my anger and if she was going to be providing information, like she shouldn't have been, then she needed to do it with a clear head and her emotions.

But it was taking all I had not to throw a coat rack through Katherine's chest.

"How does he plan on harnessing the power? Like what method is he using?" Stefan asked.

"A magical one if I had to guess." Katherine said.

Realization ran through my head.

Bonnie's mind was spinning, she knew something. I could feel the knowledge with my entire being, like I knew how to feed or fight. It was something that resonated completely within me. Something that would come full circle.

Something I willed her to keep her mouth closed about.

She gave the barest of nods and settled back into the couch on the other side of Elena. Katherine went on.

"From what I was told, the summer solstice in Mystic Falls is particularly interesting."

"How?" Stefan asked.

"That's all I know." Katherine smiled.

"You're lying." Elena hissed. "You don't get to come in and ask for protection and hold back information. It doesn't work like that."

Katherine glared at her. "And who the fuck are you protecting again? You can't even tie your shoes without potentially dying. Save the heroics."

"She's right." Stefan said. "Talk or the deal's off."

Katherine smiled. "You're sexy when you're in charge."

"Can someone just say something?" Jeremy said. "All of you are talking around each other, get to the point."

For once, I agreed with him.

"Mystic Falls is on top of something." She said. "Some kind of energy."

"And?" Stefan pressed.

"That's all I know."

"Katherine!" Stefan snarled.

"Let her go." I said.

Everyone looked at me. I rolled my eyes.

"Sticking up for me, Damon?" Katherine smirked.

"Hardly." I said. "If Katherine isn't going to tell us anything else, let her go."

"She wants our protection." Stefan said.

"She always wants something." I told him. "She's not staying here. When the time comes she'll find us. Until then, let her go."

Katherine was up and in front of me in seconds. "You want me gone that bad?"

"I want you gone period."

She cocked her head. "Then I'll go."

Katherine spun on her heel and walked towards the door. "Remember our deal. I gave you information, what you do with it isn't my problem."

And then she was gone.

Everyone waited a full five minutes to say anything. Then Bonnie started it.

"Jonas."

I looked at her. "What about him?"

"Klaus can't harness anything. The dead don't have magic. But they have someone who does, someone who would do it just to kill the rest of us."

"How is helping Klaus with his hybrids spiting us?"

"He said they had similar goals. I don't know what those goals are, but I know if anyone can do it, it's him."

She was right. She was certain of it.

Bonnie stood. "I need to go. Caroline, do you mind taking Elena and Jeremy home?"

Caroline shook her head. "No. Cute outfit by the way."

"Thanks," Bonnie smiled. "I'll text you guys."

Bonnie's mind was racing and her emotions were reeling. I didn't know what was going through her head, but I'd find out soon enough.

"What are we going to do?" Elena asked. "We only have so much leverage."

"Klaus still needs you." Stefan said. "I think the summer solstice is just so he won't afterwards."

"And so what do we do until then?" Jeremy asked.

"The only thing we can do." I said. "Wait."

"Wait?" Jeremy stood. "We can't just wait, we need to do something!"

I shook my head. "Do you ever just listen to yourself?"

Jeremy's ears turned red. "We can't just do nothing."

"And what do you want us to do?" I asked. "Half cocked information from a lying, conniving, whore doesn't really constitute action. If you want to do something, wait until we know more. When we get an idea of what's going on, we can make a plan."

Jeremy fumed, but sat back down.

"Caroline," I looked at her. "Get them home, let them pack, bring them back here. Nothing's happened yet, but Elena doesn't feel safe. I'll call Alaric."

Caroline nodded. "I'll sleep over."

"Stefan," I said. "Try to catch up with Katherine."

Elena stood. "No."

"He needs to." I told her. "She won't tell us anything and more than likely, it's to spite you."

"Stefan can't get anything out of Katherine she isn't willing to tell," Elena said, a hard look in her eye. "You know that."

"I also know that if she's going to give anything more to anyone, it'll be him. Get your head out of your ass and look at the bigger picture."

She looked shocked that I'd said it. Good. She needed to be shocked.

"Knowing Katherine, she's heading north east." I said to Stefan. "Go."

With one last look to Elena, he did.

"I'm dead." I said. "Clearly nothing I just said was for my health. The faster you get back here, the better."

"And what are you going to do?" Caroline asked.

I was going to see a witch.

Bonnie was flipping wildly through a book when I stepped through the window.

"Melissa's gift?" I asked.

She nodded. "Something's wrong."

"How so?" I asked, moving towards her.

"I came back here trying to find out more on what Katherine said, but the book went blank."

"The words just disappeared?" It wasn't the weirdest thing to happen.

"Just gone." Bonnie said. "I was looking in the back for something to help Elena when…"

Melissa was a clever witch. Probably the most clever I'd ever met.

I chuckled and Bonnie glared. "This isn't funny."

"Isn't it?" I asked.

"How?"

"You made a promise to Melissa. She intends for you to keep it."

Realization blossomed over Bonnie's face. "She charmed the book."

"Looks like."

"Shit." Bonnie whispered.

I walked up to her, took the book out of her hand, and tossed it on her dresser. "I told you I wasn't going to let you worry about it."

"Damon, not now." she said.

"And I meant that." I said, slipping off her jacket.

"Elena's in trouble." Bonnie said.

"Shut up."

"Damon."

"No seriously. Shut up." I told her. "Elena's always in trouble. What are you going to do?"

"Help her." Bonnie said. "A summer solstice is serious Damon and I-"

She yelped when I tugged on her hips, making her torso fall back. I slid her jeans off slowly and, when they hit the floor, kissed her thighs.

"You can't do anything for anyone," I told her. "Until you do something for yourself."

"I want to do this. I want to do this for me."

"You want to be selfless," I unbuttoned her blouse slowly. "You want to do it because it's the right thing. But do you want to do it for you? No."

She was looking at me, her eyes were wide.

"Now you're going to argue. And bitch, and moan, and whine, until you think you're going to do something." I reached behind her and unhooked her bra. "And we both know how much you want to help."

Bonnie was wearing nothing but her panties now. Fucking beautiful.

I took off my shirt and slid out of my shoes. I slid off my own jeans and stood over her.

"So you will."

She looked over me, eyes taking me in like I was absorbing her. The both of us like this spelled trouble of the worst kind, but I was ready for it.

"Take off my underwear." I said. She opened her mouth to say something, but I shook my head. "Do it."

I watched her as she sat up slowly, moving closer to me. Her hands shook a little, but it only turned me on even more. I put my knee on the bed to get closer to her, guiding her hand to the waistband of my boxer briefs.

She pulled them down slowly, biting her lip. I pulled her other hand up to the other side and she pulled them both down agonizingly slow. I let her take her time, standing as still as I could as she worked my underwear downward. I came out of the underwear bit by bit until I was hard and ready in front of her.

She gasped.

I slid my underwear the rest of the way off and got on my knees on her bed in front of her. The way I was sitting would've been perfect if she was riding, but she wasn't ready for that yet.

And she reminded me. "I'm a virgin."

"Public knowledge."

"I-I don't-" she started.

"Calm down." I told her. "We'll find a work around."

She was having a hard time, no pun intended, between keeping eye contact and looking at my dick. There was something sexy about a virgin only going so far and the look on her face told me that she would if I wanted to.

I did.

"Don't ogle. Touch it."

She was still staring.

"Cup your hand." I told her softly.

She did, perfectly.

I brought her hand to my shaft and helped her hold it, her nipples hardened when she touched it. I guided her hand up and down a few times before she got it, and before long she had a nice rhythm going. She brought the other hand up and used both of them to work me.

I bit my lip and pushed my hair out of my face. Bonnie had come closer to me, if that were possible, and licked along my abs, kissing them wherever her tongue stopped. I'd always hear about inexperienced sometimes being better than the experienced, but I never knew about it until now. It wasn't the lack of experience that made the whole thing great.

It was the willingness.

Bonnie rose up a little and took one of my nipples into my mouth. I moaned a little before I could stop myself. She was a quick study, hands pumping me at their own rhythm now, tugging at me as much as her small hands would allow and fucking with my head. She leaned up and looked at me for approval, eyes wide and searching.

I grabbed her by the back of her head and forced her lips against mine, pumping my hips back and forth into her hands. I lost track of another moan, and bonnie moaned with me. Her tongue slid gently between my lips, exploring me curiously and running her tongue over a fang. This grew deeper as her rhythm got faster, pushing me closer and closer to the edge.

I leaned my head back and Bonnie went to my neck. She was kissing me the way I kissed her. "Fuck."

I held her close as my hips moved, the pleasure in my body taking on a mind of its own. I was sucking in air even though I didn't breathe, and moaning deep even though I didn't want to. Bonnie was kissing me again, slow and deep like the both of us liked, tongue tasting me and teeth nipping at my bottom lip.

I came hard and fast into Bonnie's hand, hips twitching and muscles jerking. She didn't stop kissing me slowed down the stroking, hand going completely from the head all the way down to the base. I shivered a little, thought I hid it well, and the look of amazement on Bonnie's face made me chuckle.

"You okay?" I asked, pushing my hair out of my face.

She nodded. "Yeah. I've just never…"

"I figured." I said. "You learned pretty quick."

She smiled. "Should I be proud of that?"

"Extremely." I told her.

I pulled her on top of me and stared into her eyes. They were so impossibly green I couldn't think straight.

"What if the words don't come back?" she asked.

I almost said something to her about killing the mood, but she was still in her panties and we were far from done.

"They will." I said. "When you want them to."

"If they don't," she said. "Will you help me?"

I kissed her. "Yeah, I will."

**A/N: Soooo a Damon's POV with things that haven't already happened in the Bonnie POV. Whoop Whoop. This counts as a chapter you guys, just so you know. WELCOME TO THE DOUBLE FEATURE BABY, go on and read that second chapter I posted. I'm deciding on whether to do a Delena fic and/or a Teen Wolf Fic with either Alyson and Derek or Lydia and possibly Scott. I love odd pairings man, sure me. Also, I typed to chapters at the same time for you guys. Love me because I love you. I was going to do a Part I Part II type deal, but eh…seems pretty drawn out. Read my other A/N it'll explain everything I'm thinking. **

**Read. Review. Read. Review. Read. Review. Review. REVIEW.**


	20. Teacher

**A/N: I'm not even going to pretend like you read that last author's note.**

Chapter 20: Teacher

I ran through the woods, palm splayed.

The trees swayed out of my way as I moved through them, feet pounding against the ground. My pulse was in my ears as I ducked beneath branches and made fast turns, trying to lose my pursuer. What the hell had I been thinking walking by myself in the woods at night? Anything could've been out here, nothing about these trees offered any sanctuary.

_Especially from Klaus or Jonas._

I heard a snarl from far off and picked up my speed. I hissed a guidance spell into the darkness and a small bead of golden light flared before me, moving quickly ahead of me and guiding me towards a way out of the woods. I knew these trees like the back of my hand in the daytime, having played in them my entire life as a child, but the night was a different story. With barely any moonlight and a few turns here and there, I was as lost as anyone could be.

I'd have to work on that.

Wood snapped a little behind me and I ducked, covering my head against anything that may have been flying at me. I kept my eyes on the light bouncing and front of me and prayed to the universe that the street would show up soon. If I could only get to the main street of Mystic Falls, I'd be fine. If I could just get to the edge of the woods-

Something crashed into me.

I rolled, getting back to my feet and hurling a spell at my attacker. He dodged it easily, landing against a tree and speeding back towards me. I swung my arm downward and watched as he hit the ground with a loud thud, but rolled back onto his feet. I swore loudly and ran.

I could hear the wind shifting as I ran, my attacker taking his time. It was like those slasher films that came on TV every Halloween. I was the frightened female protagonist sprinting through the woods at mach speed while the killer took his sweet time. He knew he would catch me, which was the only reason why he let me run. It was nice and horrifying at the same time.

I ran through my spells in my head. I needed something that would be quiet and discreet enough to catch him off guard while being able to stun him. I considered more running, but that was over. As long as he could chase me, he would and the end of the woods didn't look like it was getting any closer. The tiny ball of light I summoned still guided me forward, and I made sure not to trip over anything as I r-

I was grabbed and shoved against a tree.

Damon's hands traveled up my thighs, fingers hooking the waist of my panties as he kissed me.

I smiled against his lips as he pressed against me, pushing me harder against the tree. Since the meeting with Katherine two weeks ago, we'd agreed to meet up and work on my magic more; what with him not wanting what I learned in Charm City to go to waste. I'd agreed emphatically, looking forward to learning more about my powers and getting to spend more time with him.

We hadn't worked much.

In our defense, it always started out with good intentions. He'd come over or I'd come to him and the spell book Melissa left me would open to the last place I'd stopped. Damon would ask me what I thought about a particular passage I'd read and I've give him a very detailed answer. He'd comment on what I'd said and tell me it seemed like I was making progress.

And then we'd be all over each other.

We'd come to the woods thinking that, if we weren't in a closed setting, maybe something would be accomplished. He and I had agreed after a very long and semi naked make out session on my bed that time was winding down and we'd have to get serious. Since the woods held a lot of open space, we could focus on other things instead of tearing each other's clothes off. We'd trained and practiced here before, this time wouldn't be any different.

And yet...

I wrapped my legs around his waist and his hands slid around to my butt, pulling me closer. I could feel him against me and it still shocked me how turned on he got despite the fact that we hadn't had sex yet. I'd been pretty self conscious about my virginity at first, but Damon assured me otherwise.

"We just have to teach you a few work arounds." He'd said.

My favorite work around included my hand in Damon's underwear and the face he made whenever I touched him. I slid my hand between us, unzipping his pants and sliding my fingers into his underwear. Outside of the pictures in health books and the ones Caroline managed to find, I'd never seen a penis before in real life. I thought maybe I'd be scared whenever I finally did see one, but Damon had been really good about the whole thing. I didn't know what was normal or average, but Damon was above both. He'd laughed when I stared and teased me whenever he pulled his pants down.

"Ogle later," He'd told me. "Touch it now."

This time he stopped me. "You did this."

"I didn't do anything." I told him between kisses.

"You wore the skirt." He said.

I pulled back. "It's a skirt Damon."

He shook his head. "You don't know what your legs look like do you?"

I guess I didn't.

Damon backed away from me, but only enough to put my legs down. His forehead was still touching mine and he kissed me softly as his hand traveled up the side of my neck. I liked when his fingers ran through my hair and touched my scalp. I loved when he pulled it a little and tilted my head upwards. If wearing a miniskirt got me this kind of treatment, I'd never wear jeans again. Ever.

I pulled away again. "We should probably start practicing at some point."

He nodded. "At some point."

"Some point soon." I told him.

He was against me again. "Agreed."

One of us had to be responsible. "Now."

Damon's lips kissed down the side of my jaw and went to that space between my neck and earlobe the he knew did things to me. I bit my lip to keep myself from moaning, but ended up doing it anyway. I could feel the desire radiating through the back of my head and it matched the feeling I felt in my chest. When his hand trailed up my shirt, I shivered.

"Damon," I said breathless.

"Shh." He said in my ear.

"Damon seriously."

He pulled back again. "Did we not just practice?"

I made a face. "That barely counts and you know it."

"I attacked you, you defended yourself. Practice."

His lips were back on that spot again, tongue flicking over it before I could finish my sentence.

I tried again. "Things are coming and we have to be ready. It's April already and I still haven't-"

Damon was looking at me again, his gaze annoyed. "We've had this talk. Several times."

I nodded. "I know, but Damon…I can't stop thinking about it."

"I don't want you to stop thinking about it," he said. "We all think about it. I want you to focus on you."

"I'm trying."

"Are you?" Damon went on. "This whole time since we got that shit from Katherine, it's like you've been trying your hardest not to listen to what Melissa told you. The book still hasn't revealed all of itself to you and you still haven't learned."

He was right. Later that day, after the meeting with Katherine, I'd gone home with the intent of looking in the book for something to help Elena. If Klaus wanted the summer solstice, maybe there was something in there that would keep him from getting it. If he planned on using Jonas and Elena, maybe I could hide her somewhere until it was over. The second I got home, I kicked off my shoes and readied myself for a night of magical studying.

Only to find that the book was completely and utterly blank.

I spent almost an hour trying to figure out what could've happened or what I could've done to possibly make the words go away before Damon stepped through my window and explained it all. Apparently, from what I'd gathered, no one broke a deal with Melissa. If she even felt like you might, she made sure you couldn't. In this case, if I even thought about helping Elena the words would hide themselves from me until I thought about myself. Only recently had the first seventy five pages shown back up.

If I had to estimate, I'd say it was at least five hundred pages. At least.

In addition to that, Damon was also making me keep that promise. He'd told me that he wasn't going to allow me to worry about the situation with Klaus, and he didn't. Whenever I started to talk about it too much, he'd put me in a corner and kissed me until I wasn't thinking about anything other than how he felt. The feminist in me felt weak for allowing him that kind of effect. The virgin in me wanted him to kiss me everywhere else.

Having Damon as a familiar wasn't as hectic as I thought it would be. So far the only thing that'd come with being one was knowing what the other one felt, always being somewhat aware of where the other one was, and him being able to feel my magic. We'd discussed the time I'd been attacked at my house and how touching him had snapped me out of the spell. The both of us had wanted to know why that was.

"I've learned a lot." I told him. "Even if you and the book don't think so."

"Right. You've learned, you just aren't doing. What's the point?"

"The point is," I said keeping down my annoyance. "Is that it's not fair for me to be forced into anything. I want to know about my magic, I want to help my friend. Helping my friend is something I want to do. Why aren't I allowed to do that?"

"Because it's not just you the book responds to," Damon said as he backed away from me. "Your magic is what the book responds to as well and it's a bigger reflection of your wants and desires."

"So you're saying that because I want one thing and my magic wants another, the book just says screw it and does what it wants?"

"You're acting like a child." Damon said. "The book isn't responding to you because you aren't responding to you. You're letting everything else get in the way again. When was the last time you did something for you with your magic?"

"In case you haven't noticed, there isn't much for me to do around here." I replied.

"Bullshit. If you wanted something done, you'd do it plain and simple. Your problem is that you still, after everything I took you to Charm City for, can't learn how to look out for your best interest."

"Because it's selfish, Damon!" My annoyance had come through warm and chasing away the earlier desire I'd felt. "Melissa's asking me to not help my friend and let it be someone else's problem."

"Because you always make it yours."

"I didn't have these problems until someone showed up."

"I agree, Stefan ruins everything."

I glared at him.

"You're cute when you're mad." He smirked.

"Shut up." I rolled my eyes.

Damon's smirk deepened. "You said you wanted to practice right?"

"Yeah."

Damon disappeared into the woods. I heard the snapping of branches, rustling of leaves, and a few grunts before he returned with tree branches in his arms. He tossed them on the ground between us and dusted off his hands.

"Light these on fire." He told me.

"What's that supposed to do?"

"It's supposed to be on fire." He said nodding towards it. "Light it. Focus."

I nodded.

It had been so long since I'd actually created fire, that for a second I'd forgotten how to. The last time had been with Damon as well, but it had been through one of the various training sessions we'd had and I'd been in the heat of the moment. I focused on the sticks in front of me and focused my thoughts on a flame. The vibrant colors that danced and it lit up the night. The glow that would touch Damon's face and the warmth it would create.

"_Ignis_."

The flame sprang to life and my magic tingled along my skin. I smiled as the fire spread over the wood, the orange and gold flames flickering and dancing before me. Sensing magic and being opened to it was one thing, but there was nothing like active magic. With so much of my magic having been ritual or internal, I forgot how amazing it was to actually see my magic. I forgot how much I missed it.

"Good." Damon said. "Now channel me. Make the flame bigger."

"What?" I asked.

"Could you stop doing that?" He asked. "It's annoying. You clearly heard what I said, stop stalling. Channel me."

I sighed. From what I'd read so far, familiars had many purposes as far as serving a witch. Damon could be my guide through the spirit realm, if I ever wanted to go, or anchor me while I went there myself. The whole thought of a realm filled with just spirits kind of creeped me out, especially when I didn't have to go too far to find a spirit in Mystic Falls.

Another one of his purposes was being an instrument of channeling. I didn't have to be near Damon, though I suspected that if I was it'd be even more helpful, to use his energy for a spell. It was a lot like what I'd done with Luka, except I didn't have to own anything of Damon's to do the spell. He was already mine.

My favorite thing had to be him acting as my anchor. Whenever I had to do a spell that was either too great for my magic or too powerful to be done alone, Damon would be there to keep me grounded. Instead of the magic being too much for me, I could channel some of it through him and continue with the spell. If it got too powerful even then, Damon could pull me out of it before too much damage was done. This would come in major handy whenever I needed it.

And now for the channeling.

I didn't have to look at Damon, but I wanted to. Seeing the glow of the flame dance along the paleness of his skin was something I wouldn't have passed up for anything. His skin shimmered with the fire and the blue of his eyes was piercing even in the dark. I could feel him in the back of my mind and, when I focused, I could feel that he was concentrating on me. I let down my mental barriers just enough to let him filter through and latched onto the feel of his essence.

I held my palm up to the fire.

It was like a mini explosion, the fire blared so bright. Taller and taller the flame grew, dancing even wilder than it had been before. I could feel Damon flowing through me as I pushed at the flame, his energy and my magic becoming one as it fed the heat. The energy of all of it was so intense, I didn't know where I began and Damon and the flame ended.

It was amazing.

After about ten more seconds of staring open mouthed, I began to close the barrier between Damon and I. As my wall came up, the flame died down and Damon's energy left my body. Damon and I were both breathing on the same rhythm and, with every bit of magic I pulled back into myself; I could feel his own essence returning back to him. The sensation reminded me of fighters going back into their corners. Damon took the water bottle we brought just in case, and poured water onto the dying flame. I was sad to see it go.

"How did that feel?" Damon asked.

"Awesome." I confessed. "You?"

He nodded. "Maybe not awesome, but it was pretty cool."

Damon was lying, I could feel it. He'd thought the feeling of our energies joining was just as amazing as I thought it was, but for some reason he didn't want to tell me. Normally I'd have let it go, but since he felt the need to mess with me, I didn't see the harm in doing the same.

"You're lying." I told him.

"What?"

"You heard me." I said with my own smirk. "I felt what you thought about the channeling. You loved it."

He stared at me. "I thought we had the talk about you staying out of my head."

It was a talk, a very low and jaw clenched talk about privacy. When I asked him if he really thought I would intentionally try to hear his thoughts, he didn't have an answer. When he didn't have an answer, he tried to tell me that I needed to focus more on keeping him out. The whole thing ended with us not speaking for twenty minutes and then fooling around on my couch.

"No," I reminded him. "You talked and I said I'd try. I can't help what comes through when I'm channeling."

Damon shook his head. "We need to figure this shit out before I kill you."

I folded my arms. "Killing me won't change the fact that you lied. Actually, why did you anyway?"

Damon gave me a hard look. "Let it go."

I did.

There were downsides to Damon being my familiar, and we experienced them as much as the upsides. He and I, in addition to always having an idea of where the other one was, always knew what the other one was feeling. If I was mad, he'd show up. If he was mad, I had to give him space. I could hear his thoughts when they were strong enough and I was unfocused. He couldn't hear mine and it bothered him. I often wondered if he could hear my thoughts would he be as annoyed by it. He could pick up some things, like whenever I thought about Jonas or Klaus because those were my strongest thoughts, but everything else was just a feeling.

And this whole thing with Damon was still so new. Even after of weeks of being dominated by his height and kissed everywhere I could think of, it was all still new. I wasn't used to Damon sort of somewhat caring about my feelings. It was really weird seeing him do so. He wouldn't hold back on anything that he said, but would give me really intense looks and say something that would make me feel better. It was like this push and pull between us that I couldn't quite put my finger on.

Our bickering depended on the day. Sometimes it'd be light and playful and other times it'd grow into full on arguments. He called me whiny. I called him an asshole. He'd call me a child. I'd call him an old man. The both of us would either smile at each other or leave the room. Then we'd be back in front of each other staring then kissing.

The one thing the both of us agreed on, non verbally, was secrecy. I don't know when it happened, but somewhere Damon and I had agreed that what we were doing shouldn't be public knowledge. Not with his brother and especially not with my friends. He and Caroline hated each other and he and Elena…I tried not to think too much about that. Maybe they weren't dating, but…

As much as I didn't want to admit it, Damon still thought about her. A lot. They weren't the all consuming thoughts everyone thought they were sometimes, but they were pretty intense. Sometimes he wondered if what he felt for Elena was really what he felt for her. Maybe it was something left over from Katherine. Sometimes he knew that what he felt for Elena was real, and that she, by being her own complete self, had won both him and his heart. The things he felt for her, the things he thought, were so complex it was mind boggling.

And all I knew for a fact was that Damon liked touching me.

Sometimes, when he and I were together, I could feel that he liked what was happening. I mean it was obvious that he cared about me, but whatever it was paled in comparison. Sometimes I felt warm emotions and sometimes I could hear things, but there wasn't anything clear or concise about it. The only reason I hadn't driven myself completely crazy over it was because I knew that whatever was going on between us he liked it just as much as I did.

My feelings for him were, and I was ashamed to admit, deeper than what they should've been. I'd been fighting it since the day after we got back from Charm City, but it was a losing battle. I liked the way his hair fell into his face and he pushed it back, exposing his hairline. I liked the way his jaw set and clenched whenever he was annoyed. I liked the way he always seemed to be leaning whenever he was annoyed. I'd made the joke once that Damon could lean against air if he wanted to.

But most of all, I liked the way he made me feel.

It wasn't that Damon made me feel beautiful or anything like that, I knew how I looked and it wasn't like he gave how compliments, but I just felt…wanted. It was something I'd never experienced before and especially not to the magnitude I thought it'd be. Whenever he looked at me, I felt powerful and less self conscious. Whenever I touched him, the effect I had didn't make me feel so inexperienced. I didn't feel like I was missing out on anything and I didn't feel insecure. He gave me rebellion and secrecy and a freedom I hadn't known I'd been missing.

I felt like for the first time ever I felt seventeen.

Damon pulled against the curb outside of my house and unlocked the door.

"You did good with the channeling." He said.

"Thanks."

"That run through the forest was sloppy." He commented. "Creating a ball of light to help you get out of the woods gave you away more than your footsteps."

"I figured it would." I told him.

"Look at me."

When I turned, Damon was staring. I'd never get over the blue of his eyes, no matter how hard I tried to. They were so many different things whenever I looked at them, but they never lost that shine. I could stare into them for hours and swim in them forever. The blue against the stark paleness of his skin was magnetic.

"You keep reading my mind." He said.

If there was one thing I knew about Damon was that he never full on apologized. Well except for that one time, but I was sure it wasn't going to happen like that now. His way of apologizing was stating what happened in what might be an apologetic tone. I thought it was cute, sort of.

"I don't mean to." I replied.

"I know," he went on. "But you have to try harder to keep yourself out. It's not just me, Bonnie it's everyone. If you fall inside of someone else's head they can make you see what they want you to see. Don't be that girl."

I gave a small smile. "I'll try."

"You'll do."

"That's pressure."

"Nothing you can't handle."

"And you've always been a fine judge of what I can handle."

"I haven't been wrong so far."

"Once or twice."

"Only because you didn't believe in yourself."

"I believe in myself plenty." I told him.

"Yet still not as much as you should."

When he said things like that, I liked him. "Be careful, Damon, I might think you care."

He rolled his eyes. "No one pays you-"

"To think, blah blah." I said. "Get a new catchphrase."

Damon leaned over and pulled me close, putting his hand on my hip. He kissed me, and the heat I felt spread through my body like wildfire. I kissed him back, running my fingers through his hair and grabbing a fistful. He bit my lip and pulled back.

"You should go inside."

I cocked my head. "And if I don't want to?"

He shook his head. "You can never leave well enough alone can you?"

"Not when well enough doesn't want me to."

Damon looked at me like he was wondering if he could snatch my clothes off in one swipe.

I smiled. "Goodnight."

"Night."

I got out of the car and closed the door as quietly as I could. He waited until I stepped inside of the house before he pulled away from the curb and I closed the door quietly. I was about to mumble a silencing charm so that I wouldn't be heard coming up the stairs, but the light that came on in the living room blew whatever chance I had at that.

My dad was in the living room. "It's late."

I looked at him. "I have a curfew?"

"You've never been this late."

"Elena's having trouble with Algorithms." I lied. "It took longer than I thought."

My father looked at me. "Who brought you home?"

"Stefan." I told him.

"That wasn't Stefan's car." My dad said.

"He was using his brother's."

"That was Damon Salvatore's car?"

"Daddy," I said in a soft voice. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." He said. "Just concerned."

"Have you ever had a reason to be?" I asked him.

"Not really."

"So what's different?"

"You're dressing different." He said. "You're coming home later. And you're getting out of Damon Salvatore's car."

I stared at him for a second, and then smiled. "Are you going overprotective dad on me?"

"Trying to, yeah."

I shook my head and went to sit by him. "Nothing's different dad."

"It feels like it." He said. "When I left you were wearing shirts with flowers and butterflies on them."

"I still wear shirts with flowers and butterflies on them."

"Yeah, but now I can see your shoulders."

I laughed. "You've always seen my shoulders."

"Those were little shoulders." He said.

"Compared to the line backer I am now?"

"You know what I'm saying." He had the grace to look embarrassed.

"It's new clothes dad." I assured him. "The money Grams left me was just sitting there, so I splurged a little. It's nothing too excessive."

He nodded. "If I ask you something, you'll be straight with me right?"

"Have I ever not been?"

"You answer questions with questions. Your mother drove me nuts with that."

"We Bennett women only challenge you to think."

He shook his head and sighed. "You aren't acting out are you?"

"Acting out?" I asked.

"I'm not missing a cry for attention am I?"

"Are my shoulders that bad?"

"You know what I'm asking." He said. "I know I'm gone a lot, and I know you don't like it. You aren't…I don't know…trying to fill that void?"

I made a face. "Are you asking me if I'm trying to find a real daddy on the mean streets of Mystic Falls?"

"Don't say it like that." He said. "It makes me sound ridiculous."

"You said it not me."

"Bonnie…" his voice was stern.

"Dad look," I said. "My grades are stellar, I'm still technically a cheerleader, and I've had the same friends since birth. A couple of skirts and should baring shirts haven't changed that. I know you don't like being gone just as much as I don't, I wouldn't make it harder on you."

He smiled. "Somehow, I got the best girl."

"Either that or you haven't lost me to the streets yet."

"I take that back." He said. "You're horrible."

"Careful daddy," I said as I got up and headed up the stairs. "My self esteem probably can't take that. Before you know it I'll be bringing home my drug dealing boyfriend and becoming a runaway."

"Sometimes I wonder why I bother." He shook his head.

"Because you love me."

The next day at school, Matt had a field day.

"Wait, wait, wait." He said. "So your dad thinks you have daddy issues?"

"I don't think he thinks it so much anymore." I said. "I laughed at him."

"I'd hate to see a young girl lose herself right down the street at the local market."

We laughed because it was true. There was nothing wrong with what my father felt, other than the complete farfetchedness of it. If Mystic Falls were just a tad bit bigger, maybe. But there wasn't a greyhound station for miles and by the time you walked a mile outside of Mystic Falls, you were so bored, you turned back around. Acting out in Mystic Falls consisted of rolling your eyes at your parents and not coming home when you were supposed to. Even then it was just seen as youthful rebellion and everyone knew where you were.

"Right." I said. "Who knows? I might even start dating Mr. Bowman at the fishing goods store."

"He'd ask you what kind of bait you wanted."

"I'd tell him I knew the kind of bait he specialized in."

"The both of you would have this secret fling and he'd call you Lolita."

"And I'd-wait, you've read Lolita?" I asked.

"Assigned reading." He said, pulling the book out of his bag and holding up. "Crazy shit, Bonnie."

"You're becoming quite cultured lately, Mr. Donovan."

He shrugged. "Well, I figure if I'm not going to college, I at least need to know something."

I rolled my eyes. "You're going to college."

"Not on academics." He said.

"Then on sports." I said.

"Maybe if Stefan hadn't shown up." he said. "You know a scout came and asked about 'the Salvatore kid'?

"I'm surprised a scout found this place." I said.

"Flat tire outside of the high school." He clarified.

I could believe it. While Mystic Falls had great athletics, if we wanted any recognition for it we had to go two towns over to get it. I remember Amy Dalton, a girl who'd been a senior when I was a freshman, traveled those two towns whenever the scouts came. She got a scholarship somewhere in Michigan. We were all really happy for her.

"Anyway, he'd heard something or another and was on his way to check it out when his tire busted here. The principal let the football team skip a period just so we could put on a show. Stefan came and butchered us all."

"I'm sorry." I said.

"Don't be." Matt smiled. "I'm used to it by now. Nothing's going to change but, I mean, I'll always be some place I know."

I grabbed his hand. "Matt Donovan, you and I are going to go to Europe."

He chuckled. "That's an interesting idea, but I don't think it'll happen."

"What if it could?" I asked.

"I don't have a passport."

"You could get one."

"With what money?"

"We'll save."

"I have bills."

"Hence the _we'll_ in that statement."

"I couldn't ask you for money." He said. "I'm a lot of things, but a mooch isn't one."

"Is that like ninety nine problems?"

"Matt Donovan remix." He said.

"Okay then," I replied. "Fine. Not Europe. But we're touring the states. You and me."

"I'm starting to think you're serious."

"Doesn't matter when you start thinking, just as long as you start."

"That was quick."

"I agree."

Matt sighed, but I kept pushing. "Me and you after graduation. We travel and see some things. If we're in another state and you happen to find a job then you take it and never come back here."

"Don't threaten me with a fulfilled life." Matt said.

"Don't talk yourself out of it." I shot back.

Matt stared at me for awhile. "Me and you on the road?"

"You and me."

"Getting lost and finding adventure."

"Showing you you're more than a small town jock."

Matt blushed. "Let's do it."

We high fived.

"I'm getting really tired of coming in at the end of things." Caroline said. "You two always look happy as hell."

"What does that say that it stops whenever you come over?"

"Careful, Matt, I know you miss me."

"Damn vampire hearing." He muttered.

"Bonnie that top needs to vacation in my closet for a weekend." Caroline smiled.

It was a dark magenta lace number, with a matching tank top underneath. My dad saw me, looked a little to my right and shook his head. When I looked, I saw my shoulder was exposed under my jacket. I'd never laughed so hard.

"Maybe if I can borrow that yellow sundress."

"The girls are talking shop, it's time for me to go." Matt said, getting up.

"Remember, blondie." I shouted at him.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah." He said over his shoulder.

Caroline took his seat. "So…"

"So…" I repeated.

"What's his name?" she asked.

"Who's name?"

"The guy you're seeing."

I fought to remain neutral. "I'm seeing a guy?"

"I'm assuming unless you have something to tell me. In which case, I'm totally okay with it if you're a lesbian."

"Caroline!" I hissed.

"Just let me know, am I hot? Not like the regular hot, but the girl on girl hot."

"You sound like Regina George's mom."

Caroline shook her head. "Seriously Bonnie, you're wearing those clothes for someone. Is it Ryan Johnson?"

"Not even."

"He likes you." Caroline said. "And he's cute."

"He didn't start liking me until I started wearing skirts." I told him.

"Neither did I!" Caroline laughed.

Was I that obvious? I wondered. I mean, first my dad and now Caroline. While my dad's was a little more ridiculous, Caroline's was spot on. If you could really count whatever me and Damon were doing as seeing each other. I don't think I did and I don't think he did either. The occasional hook up fit the description more, but I didn't know if it went any deeper than that.

For him anyway.

"No guys." I said.

Caroline rolled her eyes. "I'll find out eventually you know. I know how secretive you are about your crushes."

"Not secretive, private."

"Evasive."

"Selective."

"Annoying." Her eyes narrowed.

"Persistent." I made a face at her.

The bell rang and we walked to our lockers. She was telling me a story about her and Tyler and, for the first time ever, I could relate. It was like a shift in the universe when I could understand what the hell Caroline Forbes meant when she said she hated being on her back because it messed up her hair. I didn't let her know I understood of course, I only nodded and laughed.

As I walked to my chemistry class, I began to feel something weird. It was like a cold feeling that made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end and gave me that random chill I was suspecting wasn't so random. My heels clacked in the hall and suddenly, despite the fact that I was in a hall full of people, there was nothing but the sound of my breathing and my heels.

I walked slowly down the hall, completely ignoring the boys who'd been staring at me. Something was off, completely off, and I couldn't put my finger on it. It was like a shift, but not the kind with Caroline, more like something was waiting for me. It was the feeling you got when you were nervous, the weight on your shoulders when something was waiting for you to find it. Something was waiting for me to find it.

As a matter of fact, the more I thought it, the more clearly everything began to come through. Something was here and it wanted me to find it. Something was waiting for me because it had something to show me. In my head I knew it wasn't anything good.

There were two vampires at the end of the hallway. I froze.

Dark brown hair, light brown eyes, and about five ten. There he was, making eye contact with me standing right outside my chemistry class. He was even carrying the same book, I was, smirking at me from down the hall. He was dressed like a student and could pass for one if you weren't studying him for a long period of time. His skin had a tan to it, which meant he'd fed, but the glint in his eyes screamed trouble from where I was standing. He winked at me as he ducked inside of the classroom.

I was about to charge forward, but a hand turned me around.

"Chemistry that interesting?" Jeremy asked with a smile.

"A little." I said, turning to look down the hall.

"I'll take your word for it." He said. "I got an A on my project."

"That's great." I said, my eyes still on my chemistry class.

"Not as great as chemistry, I'm figuring."

I turned back to Jeremy. "My bad. It's really cool you got an A."

He nodded. "I wanted to give you the painting when I got it back. Mrs. Myers wants to keep it on display. She called it 'a fantastical blend of reality and fantasy'."

"Doesn't she know they've already blended?" I asked.

"I don't think she gets out much." Jeremy nodded.

The bell rang again. I needed to get to class.

I started back away. "I've got to go."

"I can hear chemistry calling your name."

"Sarcasm isn't good on you." I said as I turned.

I thought I heard him say something like "everything looks good on you", but I didn't turn around to find out.

Inside the classroom, most of the seats were taken. I could sense the vampire somewhere in the middle and, when I turned in his direction, I saw the back of his head right next to my seat. For a second I wondered where the hell Lisa Fonseca was, but then I remembered she transferred last month. I walked slowly down the row and slid into my seat. I didn't look at the vampire full on, but I strained the corner of my eyes trying to.

Something was coming off of the vampire, something that alerted my aura and caused it to cover me like an invisible shield. I'd been working on that since I'd been attacked that day with Colin, and I'd gotten so automatic with my aura, it just happened whenever I felt something off. I crossed my legs and leaned away to hide what I was feeling, but what happened next almost my sent my magic over the edge.

Mr. Davis, my chemistry teacher walked in wearing a tweed jacket and nice slacks. His hair was dark and his skin pale, much like it usually was, but there was something weird about the air around him. It shimmered like a heat wave, flickering in and out and dancing before my eyes. I knew magic when I saw it, that wasn't what surprised me. It was that the magic was so flimsy that, when I poked at it lightly with my own magic, it came apart.

I gasped.

The man's face shifted as my magic revealed him to me. Pale skin became a deeper shade of golden tan and his straight dark hair, shrank closer to his head. His facial features became more pronounced and exotic, less Anglo and something deeper. His eyes browned in color and facial hair began to grow like mustache into a beard. I wasn't staring at the man who walked in, and he definitely wasn't my teacher.

Jonas martin was standing in the front of my class.

When he died it made the paper, there were even people at his funeral. You didn't die here and no one knew about it, which was why I was looking around the classroom like a mad woman. Did no one else see him? Someone had to.

I leaned over to Jennifer Ansley. "Who is that in front of the class?"

She looked at me like I was crazy. "The same guy who's always in front of the class."

I could've screamed.

"Ms. Bennett?" Jonas said from the front of the class, a menacing look in his eyes. "Is there anything you want to share with the class?"

"No." I replied in a low voice.

"Good. Let's get started."

**A/N: Class is in session kiddies, and Jonas has a lot to teach.**

***IMPORTANT*A couple of things I wanted to go over. I see this story being anywhere between thirty five and forty chapters. I got a review on one of my earlier chapters awhile ago that stated that some stories go on so long and all that and…well…I'll say this. My favorite authors, especially some of my fanfiction writers, write long stories. Personally, I couldn't see myself writing a twenty two chapter anything lol. So I will say this. If you like your stories fast and your plot in the background and your sex to the front, I'm probably not there yet and you should back away slowly lol. I love you guys and I love your feedback, but in addition to writing for you all, I write for me as well and I'm doing it the way it plays out in my head. Review or PM me to let me know your thoughts about that. I do respond. I definitely respond. I thought about giving Bonnie a break, and to a degree she'll have one, but no. I love the drama too much and the things that are going to happen will make it worth it. People requested a faster pace for Bonnie and Damon and I hope I did that. They actually have issues now, which is something I've been wanting to get into for awhile. I included Bonnie's father in this chapter because he's going to be affected by her magic later on. Also, someone reviewed and said that a love triangle between Damon/Bonnie/Jeremy would be ridiculous. Why is that? Every girl on the show is or was central to one except Bonnie. Don't believe me? Damon/Katherine/Stefan. Damon/Elena/Stefan. Tyler/Caroline/Klaus. Where was Bonnie's? **

**Exactly.**

**And so while I have plans for it, it's not going to be what everyone is expecting I can promise you that.**

**So knowing what you know now about my intentions, I'll let you guys decide. If you want to stick with me and the story, I'll give you guys my best. It's all I can do. Hello to the new followers I hope you review. I hope all of you do. **

**Also, I've been thinking about doing a Delena fanfic and a Teen Wolf Fanfic with Alyson and Derek. Or Maybe Lydia since she's fucking awesome. Thoughts? **

**Enough of my ranting. Til next time!**


	21. Barrier

**A/N: Thanks you guys so much for the reviews! I love them all. Please be sure to read the author's note at the end. It gets deep! I also dedicate this to a guest reviewer I believe is named Kammy (?) don't quote me on the name, but they'll get it. PLEASE READ THE NOTE AT THE END!**

Chapter 21: Barrier

Jonas was fucking psycho.

It wasn't like me to use that harsh of a word unless it was necessary, but it was the only thing I could think of. He wore the disguise of my chemistry teacher and stood in front of the class. He pulled out Mr. Davis's lesson plan and went over our notes. He used the projector and moved onto chapter fifteen. When one of my classmates raised their hand, he answered their question with ease. He even assigned us homework.

Jonas was fucking psycho.

When the bell rang, I didn't move. Jennifer Ansley made some kind of smart remark about helping me if I needed to know where the door was. I ignored her and kept my eyes on the man in the front. I noticed the vampire beside me didn't make a move either, the both of us sitting completely still. Somebody had to make a move. The door to the classroom closed and locked. Jonas took a step forward.

"Ms. Bennett," he said, imitating Mr. Davis's voice perfectly. "Don't you have another class to get to?"

I stared at him, the real him, although his glamour shifted in and out. The look in his eyes said that he thought he had me, but I was over the initial shock. At this point after my best friend becoming a vampire, my other best friend being a doppelganger, and me having some kind of doings with an anti-hero vampire, not much could keep me shocked for long.

"Why are you teaching my chemistry class?" I asked.

"Because I'm the chemistry teacher." He said simply.

"Where is Mr. Davis?" I asked.

"Sleeping." Jonas smiled.

I didn't take too much comfort in that. "Why are you here?"

As soon as the words left my lips, I realized how much I'd been asking them lately. Why are you here, what do you want? They seemed to be some kind of twisted mantra dedicated towards my everyday life. At first they'd been used for Damon, but now I wanted him close all the time. Jonas could stay extremely far away from me, though, as far as Damon was close.

Jonas smiled. "I'm merely exploring my love for academia. I was a professor for five years, did you know that?"

I didn't care. More importantly, I wanted to get out of this classroom. I hadn't bothered taking my books out, which made grabbing my bag easier. As soon as I tried to get to my feet, the vampire next to me put his hand on my shoulder and shoved me right back down.

My head snapped in his direction, eyes narrowing.

The vampire snarled as his hands went to his head and he fell out of the chair. I could feel his veins pulsing with the pain I was inflicting, and the stream of blood that came from his nose gave me a twisted satisfaction. It had been awhile since I'd done this to a vampire, but I could still remember how to do it. My eyes narrowed to slits as the vampire's fangs extended and his body trembled with pain. He would never touch me again; I'd make sure of it.

"That's right," Jonas said. "Give into it. Feed that darkness."

I stopped immediately.

The vampire on the floor was laughing as he wiped at his nose. I looked between him and Jonas and saw the same amusement in both of their eyes. Something wasn't adding up here. The vampire licked the blood off of his top lip and propped himself on his elbow.

"She's delicious." His voice was husky, lust filled.

I grabbed my bag and scooted between the desks. "What's wrong with him?"

"The beautiful thing about vampires," Jonas said. "Is that over time they tend to adapt to certain things. Alex here spent years being tortured by witches and learned to turn his pain into pleasure. It's quite fascinating, really."

I kept my eyes on Alex.

"You're a fucking rush." Alex said, trailing his hand down his stomach and into his pants. When his shirt lifted, I caught sign of a scar. "Do it again, baby."

I looked at Jonas. "This is your plan?"

"I meant what I said in that clearing, Bonnie." Jonas said. "Look at you, still bathed in light and afraid to cross that line. We'll change that pretty soon."

"You aren't changing anything." I told him.

"Prepared to stop me?" he raised an eyebrow.

"If I have to."

He smiled. "Careful Bonnie, you might be believable."

"Let's hope I am."

He chuckled. "Let's."

I heard the door click and open, the sound of students in the hall filling the room. Alex got to his feet and shook his head, retracting his fangs. He picked up his chemistry book, winked at me, then walked out of the classroom.

"What do you want from me?" I asked.

"I want you to accept all of who you are."

"You're trying to force me into what you think I should be."

"You're fighting your nature."

"I'm fighting you."

Jonas tilted his head and the disguise of Mr. Davis fell back into place. "Class is over, Ms. Bennett. You should get going."

Jonas stacked his papers, picked up his briefcase, and strolled out of the room. I even caught sight of him waving at another teacher as he passed. I moved out of the classroom quickly to see if I could catch up to him, for why I didn't know, but when I stepped out of the class, he was gone.

The rest of the day continued like I thought it would, with me in and out of focus. I answered the questions correctly and took the notes, but my mind wasn't absorbing or paying attention. Jonas had said he was going to "change that", but what did that even mean. Was he going to try to exploit my magic? Was he going to go to extremes?

And that vampire, Alex. What the hell was his deal? I'd never heard of a vampire turning pain into pleasure before. It worked sometimes with people, which explained a lot of the fetishes I'd heard about or seen on television, but an actual vampire being able to do it scared the hell out of me.

How could I fight something that I couldn't hurt?

The pain infliction was basic one oh one for me. It was the prelude to the rest of my anti-vampire spells and it was one of the quickest ways to summon my magic. I knew Damon could fight it off, plus he was my familiar so it made sense that he could, but other vampires? I needed to text Damon.

Matt came up to me at my locker. "Hey, can you take me to work? My truck broke down."

"Sure," I said as I pressed send. "When did it break down?"

"This morning." He shook his head.

"Why didn't you call me? I could've picked you up."

"It's out of your way and Paul picked me up."

I cringed. "How was that?"

Paul Moss had a reputation for having sex strictly in his car. I'd heard stories about the inside of it, the sights and smells, but I'd never known anyone who'd been inside personally.

Matt shrugged. "You keep the windows down and try not to see the used condoms and you're fine."

I shook my head. "Sounds pretty traumatic."

"I took another shower when I got here, don't tell anyone."

Jonas was still on my mind as Matt and I headed into the student parking, but I couldn't do anything about it until I talked to Damon. He was the only one I really trusted with the information, and telling Stefan would be beneficial towards Elena, but it wouldn't help much. He'd jump the gun, threaten Jonas, and the problem would be bigger before I knew it. I stuck with the same train of thought I always had.

If Jonas wanted Elena, he'd have her by now. Nothing was changing that.

In my car, Matt filled me in on what was going on between him and the girl he'd hooked up with. For the life of me I couldn't remember her name, but I was just glad Matt was getting back out there. He'd taken Elena and Caroline pretty hard. I was happy that he was at least out there testing the waters again.

Even if he was unsure about it. "So wait, what happened again?"

Matt rolled his eyes. "We were having sex and then she ran."

I rolled my lips in and narrowed my eyes. "I don't…I'm not…what?"

"That's what I said!" Matt went on. "It wasn't bad sex either, Bonnie, at least I don't think."

"I mean, maybe it was so good she had to go running through the halls of the house?"

"That's just it! She didn't run through the halls, she ran into her bathroom!"

"Matt, I have to be honest, I don't like where this story is going."

My phone vibrated and I waited until we were at the stop light to check it. It was from Damon, saying that he'd meet me at my house in twenty minutes. I responded telling him I was with Matt.

"She told me she liked me and she didn't want to be used for sex." He said.

"I thought it only happened once." I said.

"About that…"

Damon replied. _Ditch the jock, meet me at your place._

_I'm taking him to work._

I hit send and made a right into the Grill. I recognized a couple of cars from school in the parking lot and parked next to what I believed to be Stacy Maddox's car.

"Do you like her?" I asked as we got out of my car.

Matt shrugged. "Kind of, but I don't know."

"Maybe you shouldn't be having sex with someone you kind of don't know if you like."

My phone buzzed again.

"You've been texting a lot recently." Matt said.

"Gotta work on that subject change, Donovan."

"In due time." He said as we stepped inside of the Grill. "Seriously, you've been texting a lot."

"That's what the unlimited plan is for, best friend."

"What's his name?" he asked.

Damon Salvatore. "Who says I'm texting anyone?"

"Your phone is. It says buzz."

"That's who I'm texting. His name is Buzz."

"Is he an astronaut?" Matt asked.

"Used to be. He gave it up for a quiet life in the old west."

"And how did you two meet?"

"Yard sale."

I'd been following Matt subconsciously, not paying attention to our steps. It wasn't until I realized he wasn't heading for the back room, like he usually did, that I noticed what was going on. Matt was steering me towards a booth. A booth in the corner where no one really sat unless the Grill was packed. A booth that had really dim lighting and no window beside it.

A booth that Jeremy was sitting in.

Everything fell into place and spelled out how much of an idiot I was. There was nothing wrong with Matt's truck. As a matter of fact, I remembered seeing it this morning when I got to school. How I forgot that I didn't know. Why it wasn't in the school parking lot when we left was a mystery as well. I could kill him right now.

Matt nudged me into the seat across from Jeremy. "Dude, I didn't know you'd be here."

Jeremy smiled. "Yeah, I just got here not too long ago."

"Imagine that." I said smiling and trying not to send Matt flying across the room.

Matt pulled out his phone. "I've gotta go, but you guys will be okay won't you?"

"Us, yes. You? Have a great day at work Matt."

"That sounds menacing." Matt smirked.

"It's supposed to." I blinked.

Matt went off to the back room and I was stuck sitting across from Jeremy with a vibrating phone in my pocket. There had to be a way for me to gracefully leave whatever this was and get to Damon. Despite the mood lifter that was Matt Donovan, Jonas was still at Mystic Falls High.

"So…" Jeremy said.

"Were you in on this?" I asked.

"No." He said quickly. Too quickly.

"Were you?"

"I'm serious, I wasn't-" But he was smiling.

"Jeremy." I said, smiling back.

"Okay so maybe me and Matt set this up."

"I thought you were waiting until I asked you."

"You took forever." He said. "I asked you out last month."

"There's a dead witch helping a vampire try to kill your sister. It's a little time consuming."

"Someone's always trying to kill Elena." Jeremy said. "Doesn't mean the rest of us can't live."

"That's pretty callous, Gilbert."

"She's dating, why can't anyone else?"

Valid. "My point is that I haven't been avoiding you, I've just been busy."

"Busy with new clothes, I see."

"You aren't going to make this easy are you?"

"Only as easy as you've made it for me." He winked.

It was cute and slightly annoying. I had things to do, he had a great smile.

My Jonas paranoia won. "Jeremy I have to-"

"Go research a spell you won't find, try to find out the plans of a vampire who's already ten steps ahead, or do the homework we already know is done? Which one?" His smile grew.

For some reason, I felt stuck.

I crossed my legs. "Getting Matt to lie was pretty sneaky."

"I didn't have to get him to do anything. He wanted to help." Jeremy raised an eyebrow.

Behind us, Matt had already changed into his apron and was carrying a pitcher full of whatever to a table. He looked over at us, winked, and proceeded to the table on the other side of Grille. I had about five seconds.

"Oh really?" I said. "Well now I don't have to feel bad."

Jeremy stared. "Feel bad about what?"

I snapped my fingers. The drink erupted into Matt's face.

The whole Grill was looking in his direction now, Jeremy was cracking up. Matt looked confused for about two seconds before his eyes landed on mine. I winked and blew him and puckered my lips at him. He gave me a fake glare and shook his head.

"There isn't like some mystical consequence for that is there?"

I shook my head. "Nah. He'll just smell like whatever that is for the night."

"Remind me never to piss you off." He said.

"No more ambush dates and we have a deal."

Jeremy got serious. "Is it really that bad? Us being here?"

No, it wasn't. In all actuality, being here with Jeremy was one of the better parts of the day. But when I already had a vampire boy…whatever Damon was, it just kind of seemed like I was being dishonest. Damon knew Jeremy liked me, apparently everyone knew how much except me, but I felt like there was a difference. Jeremy liking me was one thing, me entertaining it was another. I felt somewhat guilty for being here.

Or maybe I was just loyal to a guy who hadn't really promised me anything.

And then, the thought clicked in my head. Damon liked me, but he loved Elena. I couldn't deny that. The way he felt around her was so consuming sometimes, I could feel it in my bones and hear it like the echoes of a chime in the back of my mind. As much as I tried not to worry about Elena switching brothers, the thought was more unsettling than I gave it credit for. If Elena did end up choosing Damon, what would he do?

What would I do?

Jeremy took my silence the wrong way. "You know what, Bonnie? You're right. I'll just wait until you're ready. This wasn't a good idea."

He started to get up, but I grabbed his hand. "No, it's fine."

Jeremy sat down, slowly.

"So you got an A on the art project?" I said, moving things along.

Jeremy reached under the table and pulled out a medium sized canvas. When he held it up, the first thing I noticed was how much green was everywhere. Jeremy had taken extreme amount of care with the details giving almost every leaf its own life. The sky overhead was the perpetual overcast Mystic Falls had this time of year, and everything was captured so beautifully.

Even me.

My hair was wild around my face, eyes fierce. The expression I was wearing was one of mid scream; my arm outstretched and finger pointing. My clothes were captured in the movement, frozen in as they'd billowed in the wind I'd created. Jeremy had even gotten the paisley design of the top perfectly. I looked strong and majestic, powerful and beautiful.

I looked up. "This is amazing."

The tips of his ears flamed.

The more I stared at the painting, the more details I started noticing. He'd gotten my ears correct, even down to the little flower earrings I'd worn that day. The way my hair curled towards the front, but got wavier the longer it got. He'd even gotten the teal nail color I'd painted my nails. I could see the twinkle in my eyes and practically see the magic in the picture.

I looked at him. "I love it."

"It's yours."

"I thought you said your teacher wanted it on display?"

"And I told her I knew somewhere else it needed to be." He smiled.

I didn't know if this beat Roman's painting of the TARDIS, but it was close. Freakishly close. Jeremy had captured me better than any picture ever could. He'd painted me in such a way that I'd never thought of before. Here, I was the witch everyone thought I was. I was the girl, the woman, that could wield magic curse vampires into oblivion. I'd never felt the way I looked in this picture. Close, but not exactly.

"Thank you." I said softly.

"You're welcome." He said, voice intense.

Damon was calling me.

The only reason I knew that was because I'd given him a Nine Inch Nails ringtone. It was loud and banging, completely snapping me out of the moment and making me blink. I answered.

"Hey," I said, trying not to look at the painting.

"Where are you?" he asked, he was annoyed.

"I brought Matt to work," I replied. "I told you that."

"You didn't tell me it'd take forever. I knew you drove slow, but this is a new low Bonnie."

I rolled my eyes. "Where are you?"

"Your room." I could hear the smirk in his voice.

"Don't touch anything." I warned.

"I'm touching everything." He said. "And if you aren't here in the next twenty minutes, I'll be naked on the couch when Pop Bennett walks through the door."

The threat was funny. The seriousness behind it wasn't.

"I'm on my way." I sighed and hung up. "Jeremy, I have to-"

"Go," he finished. "Right. I get it. I just wanted to give you the painting, that's it."

I grabbed it and walked over to his side of the booth. We were close to each other, not the Damon close, but still close enough, and I hugged him.

"Thank you." I told him. "I really love it."

"Love enough to stay for five more minutes?"

I didn't know what to say, so I got up. "I'll text you."

He nodded. "I hope you mean that."

I did.

On the way out, I saw Matt walking towards me with a pitcher. I snapped my fingers again.

In the car, I took several deep breaths and pulled out of the parking lot. Matt, I blamed Matt for all of this. Setting me up on dates with adorable boys that had artistic talent. Matt was the only one who knew about my slight thing for artists. I wouldn't put it past him to have told Jeremy to give me the painting. Not that Jeremy hadn't planned on giving it to me himself, I'm pretty sure he had, but it wouldn't have surprised me if Matt had persuaded him to get it earlier than planned.

What the hell was I doing?

Was I leading him on? Was leading someone on really that easy or unconscious? If it was one thing I'd learned about myself and anything my Grams taught me was that I couldn't run away from the truth. It just never panned out well for those who did. The truth was that I liked Jeremy. He was cute and tall and had the kind of smile you saw in picture frames before you put your own pictures in. More than that, he adored me.

Could I say the same for Damon?

But even if I couldn't, Damon had made me feel things. Things that were deeper and more passionate than anything I ever had before. He was like the fire I'd channeled in the woods, big and burning and bright. He was the kind of guy who consumed you and you liked it. Loved it even. Jeremy may have painted it, but whenever Damon touched me it was how I felt.

I cursed several times.

By the time I got home and got the painting out of the car, I decided that my biggest concern right now would be Jonas. There was a guy who had no romantic interest in me, made his intentions clear (somewhat), and who I could think about without it being emotionally confusing. He still semi scared the hell out of me, but I'd rather be scared at this point.

Damon was stretched out on my bed when I walked in my room. He'd found my copy of "A Clockwork Orange". It shouldn't have looked as sexy as it did.

He looked at his watch. "You got here in eleven minutes. Cutting it awfully close there."

I rolled my eyes. "Couldn't have you walking around naked could we?"

Damon looked up, smirking. "I thought you liked it when I walked around naked."

"Not when it involves my father." I said.

Damon shook his head. "Agreed."

I decided to jump right into it. "Jonas is pretending to be my teacher."

Damon's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"

"He's casted a spell on himself, a glamour. He's pretending to be my teacher."

"That's an interesting twist."

"There's a new vampire in my class." I told him.

"I leave you alone for half a day and you've managed to somehow step ass deep in the thing I told you not to worry about."

"Jonas came to me." I said. "I didn't know he'd be there."

"Have you told Stefan?" Damon asked.

I shook my head. "Jonas didn't say anything about Elena."

"What did he say?"

"He," I stopped. "The vampire, Alex, he put his hand on my shoulder. I sent pain at him."

"Like a good witch," Damon patronized. "Go on."

"He liked it."

Damon froze. "What did you say?"

The alarm that spiked through me wasn't my own. Damon knew something.

"Alex liked the pain."

Damon sat up on my bed. "What did he look like?"

I rattled off a description as best I could. Dark brown hair, handsome, dark brown eyes, a scar on his side.

There was that spike in alarm again.

Out of respect for Damon, I didn't mention it. He hated when I read his mind or his emotions, but sometimes they came through so strongly, I couldn't help it. Although I was dying to ask Damon what he knew about Alex, I knew it would only put him in a bad mood.

Judging by the look on his face, he was already headed there.

"Stay away from him." Damon told me, voice low.

"He's in my class, Damon. I can't skip all the time."

"That's fine," Damon told me in a serious voice. "But do not go near him outside of that."

"Do you know him?" I asked.

"Are you in my head again?"

I shook my head. "No, it's just obvious something's up."

He wasn't looking at me anymore. He'd changed subjects. "What's that?"

I could play dumb, but it wouldn't get me anywhere. "It's something from school."

Damon swung his legs and was standing, walking towards me in one fluid motion. "It smells like acrylic."

"It's just a painting." I said.

"Then why are you holding it away from me like it's the secret to the universe?"

"If I had the secret to the universe, I wouldn't have come home."

"You wouldn't share it with me?" he came closer.

"Because you share everything with me?" I asked.

Damon pulled me close. "Still answering questions with questions, huh?"

He leaned down like he was going to kiss me. I tilted my head up a little so I could meet his lips. He snatched the painting from me. I rolled my eyes and tossed my bag on the floor. I should've seen that coming.

A feeling spread through our Familiar bond, but I couldn't say what it was.

A lot of emotions were filtering in through the bond, no matter how controlled Damon looked on the outside. I could still feel his alarm, his anger at something, but when I tried to prod at his thoughts the emotions were too strong. All I got was feeling and if I didn't pull away, I'd end up breaking something out of rage.

"Who drew this?" he asked.

"Jeremy." I said, sitting on my bed and trying to focus on my own emotions.

"That explains it."

"Explains what?"

"Why it's wrong." Damon said matter of factly.

I was on my feet and trying to snatch the painting away from him. "It's not wrong, it's perfect."

"Yeah, in the same way stick figures are." Damon said haughtily.

"You're being an jerk." I said. "There's nothing wrong with this painting."

"Your eyes aren't that shade of green, your hair isn't layered like that, your fingers aren't this stubby. Not to mention the shading is off, the shadowing is worse, and the bird's eye view effect is completely ruined. Your hair isn't black enough to give off that kind of sheen and how the hell would you even have a sheen under an overcast sky?"

I stared at him in shock.

"What? I'm just telling you, Bonnie, if you're going to keep a painting away from someone, make sure it's one worth keeping."

"You can't be this much of an asshole." I said. "Even you have limits."

"I killed my brother's best friend and snapped our only living relative's neck. Pointing out obvious flaws in a child's painting, no matter the subject, isn't being an asshole. It's critiquing."

"Or maybe you're jealous." I muttered.

I don't know where it came from, I don't know why it chose that moment to show itself, but the thoughts inside of my head decided to be front and center in the air between me and Damon. I was still feeling the anger that he felt, that unexplained anger. I expected him to give me a death glare or snap.

Instead, he laughed.

And I don't mean the regular laughing. I don't even mean the obvious over extensive laughing either. Damon was full on laughing, loud and amused. I opened the bond between us and I could actually feel his amusement. He really found this hilarious. What made it so bad was that even through my growing annoyance, the laughter happened so rarely, I fell hard for the sound. The way it reached it his eyes, the way his mouth spread. Damon laughing was beautiful.

Until I felt it.

Beneath the amusement and the anger, the feeling that I'd felt through the bond was jealousy. I couldn't identify it because I'd honestly never felt it in that form. I mean sure I'd been petty jealous, but it was never to the extent of what I was feeling from Damon.

He let me snatch the painting away from him. "Jealous? Of what?"

I didn't have an answer. I knew it was there, though.

"Nothing." I said, deciding to move on. "Jonas is-"

"We'll get to that." Damon said. "Tell me why I'm jealous."

"Move on, Damon." I said, annoyance and something else I couldn't place battling inside of me.

"No really, I want to know." Damon said folding his arms and smirking. "Am I supposed to be jealous because he painted some shit I could've painted at four with my eyes closed, or am I supposed to be jealous someone else painted you?"

"Both." I said, defiance making the word come out hard. Throughout the whole thing, all I could think about was how had it gotten this far?

Damon stopped laughing and stared. "Oh really?"

"Really." I shot back.

"So tell me something?" Damon said. "How can I be jealous of something I'm better at? Keep in mind I've had years, decades even, to hone and perfect a craft that's evolved as much as society has. I've painted entire cities and civilizations and I gave his favorite fucking artists some pointers and I'm jealous?"

"Yeah, you are." I said. "You know, maybe you should try to bullshit someone who can't see through it, or feel it for that matter."

"The fuck did you say?"

"You heard me," I went on. "I don't know why you're jealous Damon. Maybe it is because Jeremy painted something or, even more, maybe it's because he painted it for me. But you are jealous."

"I told you to stay out of my head." Damon was glaring at me so hard I could feel my head sizzling.

"You always complain about me being in your head. Control your emotions sometimes, maybe it'd get better."

"You should be quiet now." He said.

"And if I don't?"

I was suddenly trapped between Damon and the wall. He was kissing me, unzipping my jeans and yanking them down around my thighs. It wasn't until his hand was inside of my panties, fingers massaging me in circles, that I lost all sense of everything.

"Let's make something clear," Damon whispered as his fingers did things I couldn't describe. "Jeremy Gilbert is so small on my scale of importance I wouldn't give a fuck if he lived or died. He painted you a pretty picture and I'm sure it made you feel all warm inside, but it didn't do anything close to what I'm doing to you now."

I was moaning and squeezing my thighs together. Damon was teasing me to the point of torture. He pretended like he was going to insert a finger, then slide his finger up my slit and repeat the motion over and over. I could hear the sound of my wetness as his fingers moved. I tried to keep from moaning, but they came out anyway.

The anger that radiated for him was still going strong, pouring into the both of us. Only this time I could see pictures. I saw the painting, myself, and Jeremy. I heard my voice as I said Alex's name and a picture of a younger guy with long dark hair. At the very end of, I saw Katherine and Stefan.

I saw Elena. The anger intensified.

"And as far as me being jealous over you? I would never be jealous over something I can have anytime I want, anyway I want." Damon's forehead was on mine now, eyes locked. His fingers were moving faster making me moan louder and move my hips as I chased my orgasm. Whether I caught up to the rhythm of his hand or he slowed down to match my hips, I didn't know, but everything had become one movement.

"You're just another girl, Bonnie," He whispered. "Means to an end. And if our brief time together deluded you into thinking you were anything to be jealous over, you'll forgive me. Won't you?"

Damon pulled his hand out of my panties right as I was about come apart, and stepped backwards.

For a second, there was nothing. Nothing but the sounds of my breathing and the life outside. There was only my breathing, the occasional rustle of leaves in a breeze, and the car that passed by. My neighbor was home. My other neighbor was walking their new dog. I heard someone checking their mailbox.

Damon had just done that to me.

Hurt flashed through me like lightning, striking all of Damon's emotions and snapping me back to mine. The anger that I'd felt, his anger, washed away. There was only hurt and humiliation as I stared down at my thighs with my underwear around them. I could feel nothing but the weight of his words as they replayed themselves over and over again in my head.

Everything he'd ever said to me, every time I over analyzed a situation between us or realized that maybe I'd gone too far with him was for nothing. All of the times we'd bickered or bantered or anything, it meant nothing. I'd put way more into this, into everything.

Just like I always did.

My vision blurred as I pulled my panties and jeans up, hands shaking as I buttoned them. I was trying to hold it together, but I wasn't winning the fight. I blinked furiously as I straightened my shirt and stood up correctly. I looked around my room, but I didn't see anything but him.

I could feel something in the bond, but I pulled my mental walls up so fast my head pounded a little. I envisioned gates and moats and chains and fences. I buried myself so deep inside of my mind that I couldn't find Damon if I wanted to. And he couldn't find me.

I'd make sure of it.

He blinked eyes narrowing. "What did you just do?"

I didn't say anything. I couldn't say anything. Everything I could think of to keep someone out was coming to mind. A dome, a door, a home, glass. All of it sprang to the front of my mind and isolated me more and more from Damon. For weeks, ever since that day we got back to Mystic Falls, it had been nothing but my fuck ups. I read his mind, my mental barriers weren't up, I talked too much, I never paid attention. All of it piled on top of how childish I was and how I never listened. All of it came rushing forward, every last single bit of it.

Damon looked like he was straining for something. "What did you do?"

A safe, a lock, a vault.

"Bonnie," he said my name.

A box, a cell, a jar.

"Bonnie listen to me."

Buried, hidden, locked away.

Further and further I drove myself, deeper and deeper I hid my mind. Damon was still very much my familiar, I could feel my magic twined with his energy, but he'd finally gotten the block he'd been looking for. I couldn't feel him. He couldn't feel me. Everything was strictly where it was supposed to be. Mentally, as far as I could feel, I was in this room all by myself.

"Look, Bonnie, I'm sor-"

"You can tell Stefan about Jonas." I said. "I'll tell Elena and the others."

I didn't sound like myself. I was bland, toneless, empty.

"Bonnie listen to me," He said stepping forward. " I don't-"

"Jonas won't try anything, at least not with Elena. She'll be fine. Alex and Jonas are my problem."

"Why can't I feel you?" he asked me.

"Please go now." I said.

Damon stepped forward and bumped into an invisible wall. I hadn't even remembered summoning it.

"Bonnie move this." He said. "Listen to me."

What more was there to listen to? He'd said everything he had to say. I didn't want to hear anymore.

As soon as I'd thought it, Damon's voice got smaller and smaller. He seemed to notice it too, because he took to beating on the wall that separated us. I could see him screaming on the other side, but I couldn't hear what he was saying. He was moving, but I couldn't tell you what he was doing. At first I thought I was having another breakdown, but when my phone made a sound in my pocket, I realized it was just Damon. I'd muted him.

I slid down the wall to the floor, arms at my sides.

Damon was about to scream my name again, I saw it when I looked up at him. The eye contact we made felt nothing like it did before. Now all I felt was stupid for ever thinking there was a connection. He would never feel anything for me, nothing more than what I could do for Elena. I'd seen her face in his mine, hers and Katherine's. They were the special ones, they were the ones who mattered.

I was just another girl.

Damon's looked behind him out of my bedroom door and, with one last look at me, sped out of my window. I could hear feet coming up the stairs, thudding into the hallway. I heard someone saying something, it was coming through the bubble I'd put myself in.

My father stepped inside of my room.

"I brought pizza!" he said cheerfully. "I even got pineapples like…"

He was across the room so fast, he rustled a few papers on my dresser. As soon as he grabbed me I sobbed. He was holding me close to him, burying my face into his shoulder, and I cried out everything. I should've never let myself believe in any of it. I should've never given into what I thought would be something more. He didn't like me, he never had. I was a distraction, means to an end. I clung to my father as he stroked my hair, I let the deep rumble of his voice soothe the hurt I was feeling.

He was safer than any barrier I could've made up.

**A/N: Ooh, some of you are going to be pissed. And I love it! I took a break. After the last Author's Note and a couple of reviews, I kind of took some time off to evaluate some things. Let me say this. I love you guys, I really do. I encourage you all to read and review and talk to me because I'm super responsive and take all of your opinions into account. With that being said, I'm sorry if I made anyone feel like your opinion isn't valid or respected. I completely understand your comments about Jeremy and the love triangle and I get why people feel the way that they do. However, keep in mind that it's a Bonnie/Damon fanfiction. I wouldn't write this for Bonnie to suddenly end up with Jeremy then realize what she had with Damon. I like to think I'm not that typical and I respect you all enough to keep it Bamon. The only reason Jeremy is even an option is because I wanted what they had on the show to be somewhat translated here. And for other reasons that are approaching. Bonnie, despite what he does, is still very into Damon. I like my Bamon that way. **

**Also, we see a little of Damon's mean streak resurface here. His anger towards the situation there was enough to give drama to this chapter and keep Bamon from being completely perfect and, what I hope, totally in character. And, yes, Damon was JEALOUS of Jeremy's painting for Bonnie. If you remember Damon's POV I included that Damon was artist in his mortal life, somewhat. I love artists. My best friend is one and I find her to be utterly amazing. Damon's connection to Alex (I hope you guys like the character) will be revealed probably in the next chapter or two. **

**Last thing before I go. I'm mentally working on a couple of things. One will be a one shot (my first one) about Damon meeting Roman and how they've interacted over the years. The other one shot (I'm sketchy on this one) will be a Bonnie/Matt deal with nothing but one liners and sarcasm and bonding. The last thing, and the thing that'll probably de done before either of those, is my Teen Wolf fanfic with Lydia and Derek. LOVE THEM. I fucking adore Holland Roden and Tyler Hoechlin. So tell me what you guys think? I'm more than interested. Read, Review, REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW!**


	22. Gift

**A/N: You guys spoil me, really. Thank you guys so much for the reviews!**

Chapter 22: Gift

A lot of people, including myself sometimes, don't take Caroline Forbes seriously. It was true that she bounced between bubbly and bitchy at any given moment, and was pretty much known as the resident fashion police, which I guess could give anyone the impression that she was a shallow airhead with nothing better to do than be a television stereotype.

And they were wrong.

Caroline may not care about everything, but the things she did care about were always executed and done to the utmost perfection. Her hair was always immaculately done, her nails were amazing. The fashion that she wore looked more New York than Mystic Falls had ever seen. But there was one thing Caroline did that no one could deny her. As a matter of fact, I'd go out on a limb and say that she probably did this better than she did anything else.

Cheerleading.

Today was one of Mystic Falls' windier days which meant that a storm was coming soon. Even with the knowledge, Caroline hadn't called off cheerleading practice which meant that since Elena was co-captain, the three of us and some new girls were out here.

I remember thinking how much I hadn't liked cheerleading, mainly because I'd kind of just fallen into it. Getting back into it now, it was definitely a welcome distraction. Instead of focusing on my problems I focused on back handsprings and toe-touches. My back tuck was a little rusty at first, but by the third time I did it, I was back in full swing. I clapped my hands hard and my V was perfect. My toes always pointed and I was slapping the sides of my thighs so hard my palms stung.

When Caroline told us to do the whole routine two more times and on her rhythm, I jumped right into it. I counted with Caroline in my head as I went through the motions, keeping my eyes focused and my mind clear. My ponytail swung and slapped at the sides of my face and sweat beaded down the back of my neck.

"Rhythm ladies, rhythm!" Caroline shouted. "If you don't have it, you better find it or your ass is off my squad!"

_One, two, three, four! Five, six, seven, eight!_

Clap, V, bend, back tuck.

It was coming easier, my muscles burning and adrenaline pumping. Caroline began another count off and the girls and I got into our positions. I ran, picked up speed, cartwheel, roundoff, back handspring, back handspring, back handspring, back tuck, toe touch. Clap, V, hurkey, down again.

The new girls watched me like I'd grown a second head or something, even Elena look surprised although she'd seen me do more extreme tumbling than this. Caroline didn't look surprised, but I could see the approval in her eyes. She blew her whistle, how the hell she got one I didn't know, and pointed at me.

"That, ladies, is how it's done!" Caroline said. "I want that same kind of dedication from all of you because the bitches at Marshall Lake are out for blood!"

"I can't tumble like that." One girl said.

"You don't need to. Just be enthusiastic, get those legs high, and for fuck's sake Jessica do NOT forget your spanx this time."

Jessica Bridges shrugged.

When practice was over, I didn't stick around for the socializing. I walked over to my bad, stripped out of my shoes and let the grass poke at my feet as I walked across the football field. I waved at a couple of the football players and noticed some of their stares at my legs as I walked past. I'd come to the conclusion recently that boys were idiots.

The reason why I'd come to that conclusion was leaning against his car in the parking lot.

Damon's hands were in his pockets as he stood just enough to be out of sight from everybody else, but visible enough so only I could see him. Since I'd taken up cheerleading practice again, mainly to get away from all the free time I had, he'd been coming out to watch me practice. It was always the same whenever he did. He'd stand there and watch me practice, I'd pretend he wasn't there, and whenever I did truly notice him and walked in the opposite direction, he'd turn around and disappear.

It had been like that for the past week and a half.

I'd waited for the beauty of a rut to come back and snatch me back under my subconscious, but I wasn't so lucky this time. In fact, everything was in high definition. I noticed and heard and saw everything. Elena laughed differently now, Caroline's views were more shrewd. Matt had a sort of girlfriend, Jeremy winked at me in the halls when he saw me. I was mentally aware in class which made the entire day go by slower. The teachers talked about readings I'd read in advance and took notes I already had.

I hated my every day.

Damon was like a constant knocking distant in the back of my mind that I ignored like a pro. He was constantly trying to get inside of my head or sending the invitation to get inside of his. He begged me to channel his energy and see inside of him. Once, he even found a way to summon me. His desire for me to come out of my house at ten o clock and drive to the Salvatore place was so strong, I caught myself outside at my car twice before I thought of more barriers to put up.

A dam, a shield, barb wire.

Even now, as he looked at me and watched me head up the steps, he called to me with his energy. I kept my eyes forward and put my headphones in my ears. I found that music dulled a lot of what he was sending at me. I walked along with the beat as I avoided his eyes. By the time I got to the exit, he'd turned on his heel and disappeared.

And my tears fell like the always did.

I could take a lot of things, I liked that about myself. I could admit I was a sensitive girl, but I had built a thick skin over the past several months. My grams had died, my mother had come and gone, and I'd become a better person throughout all of it. I'd learn to feel only what was necessary when it was necessary and be true to the emotions that I felt. I had to or else my magic wouldn't function.

But what Damon had done to me, had said, hurt me so deep I couldn't even fathom it. It was like he'd hit every level of pain possible and made me insecure about myself all over again. I felt stupid and humiliated. I felt like I'd been lying to myself for weeks. Taking off my clothes for someone who couldn't even get over himself.

Stupid. Dumb. Out of my fucking mind.

I wiped my eyes as I headed into the darkness that lead to the lower section of the parking lot. I reached down into my bag and pulled out my keys when I saw my car. I needed to get off school grounds before I started crying and sobbing again. Someone grabbed me and shoved me into the wall.

Alex.

Somehow, I'd let myself ignore both him and Jonas for a week. To be completely honest, it wasn't even hard. I'd gone into chemistry class and took notes. I raised my hand when I had a question and when I got an answer, I wrote it down. Alex tried to do little things to catch my attention, but I tuned him out. I left when the bell rang, making sure I was with someone when it did. Neither one of them had the time to make my day worse. Avoidance was key, I was learning.

Since I'd taken to ignoring him, his cries for attention had gotten a little over the top. He bumped into me in hallways and "accidentally" knocked over my stuff. On any other day I'd have sent him to the ground and made him beg for his life, but I had other things going on than dealing with a pain junkie vampire with a fetish for witches.

He snatched my headphones out of my ears. "Can you play little witch?"

I stared at him.

Alex trailed the tips of his fingers along my arms and shivered. "Someone's a little cold."

I hoped I looked as bored as I wanted to.

He smiled. "You've been crying."

"Is there a point to this?" I asked. "Can you go both someone else?"

"Never." He smiled big. "I haven't felt magic like yours since the early nineteen hundreds. You're like daggers in my veins. I want more."

"Find it somewhere else," I said pushing away from him. "Go fall off a building or something."

Alex grabbed me by the back of my neck and slung me into the wall. He ripped my bag off my shoulder and tossed it away from me. He pressed himself against me pushing his hard on against my leg.

"Jonas said you had patience," he said. "But I wonder just how far I can push you before you send me over the edge."

"I'm pretty sure Jonas won't like you doing this." I tried.

"Jonas encourages it." He played with the hem of my shirt.

"Then he's even more pathetic than you are."

Alex shrugged. "Possibly. But I have to admit, this little mission he's given me? It's fucking amazing so far."

His hand delved into the waistband of my shorts. Thumb grazing over my hip.

"Go ahead." He said. "Throw that pain at me. I know you want to."

My eyes widened. "You really want me to?"

He nodded. "More than anything."

I brought my knee up hard and fast into his groin.

Alex stumbled away from just as a couple of students came in through the exit. They stopped and looked at the both of us, then kept walking. I moved towards my bag, never taking my eyes off Alex, picked it up and grabbed my keys.

"Never touch me again." I warned him.

Alex was laughing. "Oh baby, that was weak."

"It got the point across."

"Oh it made a point," he said. "We just need to get you in the game a little more."

I shook my head. "Sorry. I don't play games."

"You will." And then he was speeding away.

I sighed and straightened my clothes.

When I got to my car, Elena texted me and asked if I could give her a ride home. I told her I'd meet her on the other side of the field. I pulled my car around and passed by the spot Damon had been standing in. a part of me wanted to look around and see if he was still there, but I kept my eyes on the road. I didn't care what he was doing. I didn't care where he was.

Mostly anyway.

Elena was texting when I picked her up and she smiled when she got in the car. "You killed today."

"My back tucks were off." I told her as we pulled out.

"Better than mine." She said. "I'm starting to think I should've stayed in gymnastics with you."

Back when we were little, Elena's parents and my father put us in the same activities. The only difference was if Elena wanted to quit something, she could. My father wasn't so easy going. If I signed up for something, I had to stay with it and stick through it. He told me it'd make me wiser about the decisions I'd made and build character.

So far my decisions were shit. How many character blocks did I get?

"Bonnie?" Elena said my name.

I looked at her and then back to the road. "I'm sorry, what happened?"

"I asked what Jonas had been up to?"

I shrugged. "Nothing but pretending to be my teacher."

"That's so weird." Elena said. "Like what's the point?"

"He said something about trying to get me to embrace my darkness."

"That'll never happen. You're probably the brightest person I know."

She'd be surprised.

"So anyway," Elena said. "Matt told me."

"Told you what?" I asked.

"You know."

"I promise I don't."

"You're going to make me say it?"

"I was hoping you'd do it by yourself, but if I have to…"

Elena sighed. "I know you and Jeremy are dating."

I almost slammed on breaks. Almost. "What?"

"Jeremy came home all super happy last week and wouldn't tell me why. I figure since he and matt have been hanging out a lot, I could just ask him. Turns out you two are dating."

"It was one date, Elena." I said. "Jeremy gave me a painting, I made drinks explode in Matt's face, we hugged."

"So you don't like Jeremy?" she asked.

"I didn't say that."

"So you do like him."

"I'm pleading the fifth."

"Oh come on!" Elena laughed. "Just because he's my brother doesn't mean we can't talk about it."

"That's the exact reason we can't talk about it."

Elena got quiet for a second, and then looked at me. "Is it because of me?"

I made a face. "Is what because of you?"

"I mean, the reason you aren't dating Jeremy. Or the reason why it was only one date. You get what I'm saying."

I did get what she was saying. And yes, it was because of her, somewhat. Jeremy being Elena's little brother added more complications than I wanted, but she wasn't the reason I wasn't pursuing him the way everyone thought I should. Truth be told, no matter how upset I was, I still wanted Damon. He was in all of my thoughts even when I tried to avoid him, and him showing up to practice didn't make it any better.

"Yes and no." I told her.

"You don't have to worry about me, you know?" Elena said.

"It's not really worrying about you so much as it is the lack of privacy. I get it, we're all in the same circle and have been for years, but I couldn't handle you looking at me differently or looking at him differently because of something. If Jeremy and I were to have a real shot, it'd have to stay between us. No outside input."

"So you don't think I'd respect the privacy?" Elena asked. "Have you met me?"

"It's not just you," I smiled. "It's Matt too. He's one of my best friends, but he's also Jeremy's. The fact that you heard about an ambush date from someone other than me kind of drives home my point."

"Ambush date?" she asked.

I told her the story. She burst out laughing.

"Seriously, Bon, I'd respect the privacy. I know how secretive you are about your love life."

"I'm not secretive." I said.

"You kind of are." Elena said. "Who knows what I've been missing?"

Who indeed.

"And anyway, you're a great person." Elena went on. "I wouldn't have to worry about you doing something to Jeremy. You'd be amazing to him."

I agreed. "But I want to be amazing to him because I want to be that way. Not because I feel like if I'm not, then me and you can't be friends. If Jeremy screws up, I want the freedom to break up with him. If I screw up, I want him to have the freedom to break up with me."

"No one's saying you don't have that freedom though, Bon."

"I mean now, when it's all hypothetical, sure. But he's your brother Elena, you've been the same way about him since I've met you."

"I can hurt him, you can't." she said with a small smile. "I can't believe you remember that."

She'd said it to this one boy who'd been bullying Jeremy when he was in first grade. After Elena slapped him on the playground and uttered those words, no one else messed with Jeremy. Well, no one except Tyler.

Elena sighed. "But it's you Bonnie. You're my best friend."

"And he's your brother." I said. "Besides, nothing serious has happened between us yet."

"If it does get the far," Elena was looking at me. "Promise me you won't let me, or Matt, influence your decision."

I looked at her. "That's asking a lot."

"Well luckily nothing's happened, so you have time to think about it." She smiled.

"Why are you so into this?" I asked. "Most girls hate the idea of their friends dating their siblings."

"I'm pretty sure you guys like each other." Elena said. "I know you probably won't admit, but I know you do. I think that if you gave it a chance instead of worrying about me like you always do, you might be able to be happy."

I wanted to be happy. I thought that's what I was with Damon. I thought that us touching and kissing and doing things behind closed doors and to ourselves was what I wanted. The privacy aspect of it had been ideal, but the playing second string to a girl and her doppelganger had gotten old. It wasn't until the situation in my room that I realized just how old it'd gotten.

And really, I feel like I only had myself to blame on that one. While maybe I'd accepted those things about him, Damon had been nothing but himself. I'd known about his feelings for Elena and the residual feelings for Katherine and I'd still allowed him access to most of me. I'd stood with him in rooms and sat next to him in his car not even ten minutes after we'd been all over each other and watched his thoughts go right back to Elena.

I knew I deserved better.

The only problem about knowing something was that your head knew it, but your heart had other things in mind. As much as I knew how much effort I'd wasted on Damon, I liked him more and more every time I was with him. I didn't know if I was in love or even just love, but I knew it was close. Even now, knowing everything, I still wanted him to hold me. I still wanted to be with him. I wanted to feel him like a warmth inside of my mind while he lay beside me and said sarcastic things. I hated him.

I missed him.

But I wasn't the forgiving type. At least, not immediately. Damon had crossed a major line and pretty much shattered every boundary I had. I remember wondering what Damon would do if Elena ever chose him and now I knew. He'd go with her the second he could. I couldn't be with someone like that. I definitely couldn't allow them to touch me the way Damon did.

Pulling into the Gilbert driveway, I parked beside Stefan's car. When Elena and I got out of the car, Stefan met us at the door. I watched as they hugged each other and turned away when they kissed. I didn't need to be reminded of what I was missing.

Instead I went upstairs. I knew Jeremy was home like he always was and the talk in the car made me want to be around him. Maybe it was my hurt feelings or maybe I was just tired of being means to an end. I wanted to be a priority, a main attraction. I wanted someone who looked at me and saw gold, not looked at me and pined for better.

Jeremy was thrilled. "Hey!"

After he hugged me and we pulled away, I smiled. "Stefan brought you home?"

He nodded. "Since Jonas is playing wolf in sheep's clothing, Stefan figured we'd better stay close."

"So he let Elena stay at cheerleading practice?" I asked with a smirk.

"She convinced him." Jeremy said. "You and Caroline were there, so she wasn't worried."

"Great to know." I said, sitting on his bed.

"How was your day?" Jeremy asked.

I opened my mouth to answer it, then I stopped. It was the first time someone had asked me that other than my father. To make matters worse, Jeremy looked interested. His eyes told me I had his undivided attention, his body language screamed it. My dad told me once that you could tell by a person's feet if they were paying attention to you.

Jeremy's feet were pointed at mine.

Every part of him was actually. Even his fingers were facing me and they were really close to my own. I noticed how he always had a small smile that he never wore unless it was with me. I noticed how he turned off his music and took off his headphones and looked right at me. He'd been drawing when I came in his room, now I couldn't even find the pencil.

It was everything I'd been missing. Everything I ever wanted.

"It was fine." I said softly. "Cheerleading practice."

"You're back on the squad?" he asked surprised.

"Caroline's cheer captain." I said. "I was never off of it."

He smiled. "How'd it go?"

"Pretty well." I told him. "I got my tumbling back together and the splits are still fluid."

"Hell yeah for splits."

"Don't be that guy." I smiled.

"Don't give me mental pictures."

"You've seen me in uniform." I said.

"That didn't help the mental picture situation."

"Everything I can do, Elena can. Including wear the uniform."

Jeremy sneered. "That's disgusting and you know it."

I cracked up. "Elena was the one who taught me how to do a Chinese split."

"Stop it!" Jeremy covered his ears.

"Do you even know what a Chinese split is?" I asked.

"No, but it sounds flexible and if I'm going to think about it, it's not going to be my sister."

"Nope," I said. "Think about one of us, you think about us all."

"I wonder if that works for sex."

"Elena's still on the cheerleading squad." I laughed.

"You set me up for that one." He poked me.

"You walked right into it." I poked him back.

"You want to see what else I've been working on?" he asked, grabbing his sketchbook.

"If it's anything like the last thing, of course."

For the next two hours, Jeremy and I looked through his sketchbook as he told me about the things he wanted to do. He wanted to come out with his own comic books, using his life in Mystic Falls as a storyline.

"Unsuspecting human brother of a doppelganger?" I asked.

"Yep. The whole thing revolves around him."

"I don't think someone would want that."

"I don't, but it's kind of my life."

There were pictures of his family he'd drawn, pictures I'd seen downstairs on the fireplace. He'd drawn Elena and Stefan huddled on the couch together. He'd drawn a picture of Caroline texting and blowing on her nails at the same time. I couldn't remember if he'd ever seen her do that, but it was typically her. There was a picture of Matt the Grill that he'd drawn, even capturing the bar behind him. There was a picture of me looking bored and reading a book.

"When did you draw this?" I asked.

"Awhile ago, last month I think. You were sitting in a corner reading a book."

"You have a picture of it?" I asked.

"Nah, I just pay attention."

I was glad I didn't blush.

The next picture, and the one that stopped me cold, was one of Damon. It was so strikingly him that I couldn't look away. The way his hair fell into his eyes and the way his eyes always had that permanent shine them. Jeremy had captured it perfectly.

I closed the sketchbook. "What's Elena cooking?"

Three hours and a cooked meal later and I was home. Since I'd texted my dad and told him I was eating at Elena's, he told me he'd be working later at the office. He asked me if I'd be okay about five times before he let me off the phone, and while it annoyed me a little, I knew he was only trying to make sure.

He hadn't known what to do when I cried for three hours and wouldn't tell him what was wrong. He'd been completely dumbfounded when I shut him out after that. Overall, he'd been patient with me through all of it. I couldn't tell him what had happened other than I was sad, and he said something that made me feel a little better.

"Sadness is like an ocean, baby." He'd said. "You can drown in it or swim. It'll take you a while, but you'll always reach the shore."

The shore had been filled with rocks and glass that cut into me and stabbed at my wounds. Whenever I had too much quiet time on my hands, I could hear the words he'd said to me. i remembered the look in his eyes and the coldness that radiated from him.

When I got out of the shower, I grabbed the book Melissa gave me and opened it to the last place I'd read. It turns out the summoning that Damon and I did to each other was more of an emotional failsafe provided by the magic. Through the bond we'd always feel what the other one was doing, but we could also feel the emotional strain the other one was in. it would call to us, since we were bound to each other, and we'd want nothing more than to be next to the other one.

Whatever.

I must've been reading longer than I thought because my father stepped into my room.

"You're still up?" he asked.

"Yeah," I said looking up. "How was work?"

"Annoying. School?"

"The same. Cheerleading practice."

"You're still on the squad?" he asked.

"You're the second person to say that."

"I haven't seen you cheer in ages." Dad said. "I thought you quit."

For awhile I had. Since Stefan was on the football team and all of the drama around him coming back, including the death of Grams, I'd just decided to take a break. A long one.

"I'm not a quitter daddy," I smiled.

"Stop being amazing, I'll think I'm a good father."

"You are a good father." I said. "A great one."

He nodded. "Are you going to tell me what happened the other day?"

I shook my head. "It's not important."

"You were crying for hours, Bonnie. I haven't seen you do that in a while."

I shrugged. "It happens with girls sometimes."

"Usually it's boy related." He raised an eyebrow.

"Or, you know, my period."

"I thought we agreed not to talk about that."

"Oh come on, dad, you asked." I smiled.

He sighed. "You're fine?"

"I'm fine."

"You promise?"

"I promise."

"Swear on the Grey's Anatomy DVD downstairs and I'll believe you."

"That's only in case of emergencies." I said.

He nodded, came in, and kissed me on the forehead. "I love you short one."

"I'm short because of you."

"Your grandmother was short."

"Mom was tall."

"And had the legs of a goddess."

"Gross, leave. I love you too. Leave."

When he shut my door, my smile faded. I didn't feel like reading anymore. I didn't feel like doing anything anymore other than laying in my bed and swimming through the ocean of my sadness. I pulled the covers over my head and closed my eyes, using the darkness and the noise from my fan to lull me to sleep.

The night sky was pitch black overhead and the ground was cold where I stepped. There was slight breeze rustling the hem of my oversized t shirt and caressing my knees. I'd always loved the night when it was like this, peaceful and silent. The grass was low and sharp from when my dad had cut it last two days ago and…

How the hell did I get outside?

I was in my backyard. When I turned around, the back door was opened slightly giving a peek into the darkness of my house. I whirled around. Something had pulled me out of bed and gotten me to come downstairs. Alex had said something about me not being in the game, was this his idea of getting me into it? Had Jonas pulled me out of bed?

"Look at that," a voice said from the darkness. "It worked."

Damon stepped out of the shadows and into the backyard. Everything on him was dark, so much to the point that if I didn't see his arms and the gleam of his shoes, he'd probably be nothing but a floating head in the darkness. The thought was funny.

Being pulled out of bed at night wasn't.

"What the fuck is going on?" I asked.

"Your barriers are weaker when you're asleep. Strong enough to keep someone out, but not me."

Damon had gotten me out of bed. Somehow, some fucking way, I'd been pulled out of bed.

No.

I turned around and walked back towards my house. Damon was in front of me.

"No, no." he said. "I'm tired of you avoiding me."

"Go to sleep. I was." I said, stepping around him.

He grabbed my arm and pulled me back, staring deep into my eyes. I pushed my barriers back up and shoved him and his energy further and further away from me. Damon's grip tightened on my arm.

"Stop it." He hissed.

"Let go of me." I warned him.

"You need to listen." he said.

"I don't need to do anything." I wrenched my arm out of his grip. "You need to leave."

"I fucked up." he said, looking at me. "I'm trying to talk to you."

"You said everything you needed to say." I told him.

"I didn't say anything close to what I should've said."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" I narrowed my eyes. "That there was more that should've been said?"

Damon snarled. "Stop talking so fucking much and listen! You drive me fucking crazy when you don't listen!"

"You drive yourself crazy!" I spat at him. "I was fine, I was asleep. Who the hell told you to come here? How the hell did you get me out of bed?"

"I called to you and you answered."

"I didn't answer anything." I said. "I was asleep."

"Maybe you didn't consciously do it, but a part of you did. I know enough about a witch's magic to know that it's tied to her feelings. Whatever got you out here tonight wanted me. You miss me."

"You've got a lot of fucking nerve." I hissed into the darkness. "Pulling me out of my house and into the backyard and telling me how I feel when you could give a fuck less."

Damon stared at me, eyes angry. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh I know exactly what I'm talking about. You got me out here so you could pull the same shit you always do. Apologize without actually apologizing. Accusing me of picking up on emotions you broadcast so loud a fucking dolphin can hear it, just so you can prove a point that's so wrong it's ridiculous."

"You-"

"No, shut up!" I half shouted. "You want to talk about something Damon? Let's talk. Let's talk about how every time we seem to get a little bit closer, you pull away. And I don't mean emotionally, I mean that you find some way to bring everything back to Elena."

"That's not-"

"Yes, it is." I kept going. "You kiss me and you think about her. You take off my clothes and you think about her. You do things to me and make me feel things that no one else has _ever_ and all you can think about is your brother's fucking girlfriend."

The hard look in Damon's eyes softened. Barely.

"And to make matters worse, I see all of it, I feel all of it. Do you know what it's like having just gotten dressed and feeling the guy you like pine over your best friend? How long her fucking hair is, how good she smells. I hear all of it and the only thing you can seem to complain about is that I catch every other fucking thought."

"I'm so sick of you making me out to be the bad person or a weak witch because you can't keep your thoughts to yourself. I'm tired of you always blaming me for your shit. I've been nothing but good to you Damon. Maybe I haven't been perfect, maybe there are some things I can do better, and maybe I say things that don't need to be said sometimes, but I have always been good to you."

I was crying now. Sobbing.

"You told me I was means to an end, Damon." I sniffed. "You said that to me in my room. I can't go in there and not think about it. You have an invitation to my house. You have access to my magic, you have everything! What do I have? What do I have from you other than secrets, thoughts about my best friend and sarcastic fucking comments?"

"Bonnie don't-"

"You want to know why that picture Jeremy painted isn't wrong?" I asked him as I wiped my face. "Because Jeremy saw me the way I'm supposed to be seen. I'm not someone's second choice and I'm definitely not a scavenger for Elena's leftovers. I'm in the forefront, I'm the biggest thing in the picture, and I'm the first thing you see. And maybe my hair isn't supposed to gleam and my fingers aren't right, and my hair doesn't look a certain way, but he did something for me you've never done. He put me first."

Damon said nothing, he only stared.

"So maybe you can touch me and kiss me and do all of those other things Jeremy hasn't done _yet_." I said. "But that's something he'll always have over you. I'm not means to an end and I'm definitely not just another girl."

When I finished I was breathing hard and tears were still coming down my face. Damon did nothing but stand there, eyes staring into mine and body motionless. I'd only seen him this still back in Charm City. Which was, now thinking about it, nothing but a lie. Roman's guest bed, the morning and the night. None of it meant anything anymore.

I never meant anything.

"Go the fuck home, Damon." I said. "I don't want to see you."

I didn't wait around to see if he would move or not. I stepped around him, and went back inside of my house, locking the door behind me. I moved as quietly as I could and, when I got back upstairs in my room, I closed the door, locked it, and cast a locking spell on it. I closed and locked my windows, I crawled back into bed, and I let my anger fade.

If sadness was an ocean you swam in. Anger was a fire you walked through.

The next day morning when I woke up, it was earlier than usual, but I felt…fine. I didn't feel as good as I usually did, but I felt like a weight had been lifted from me. I realized that for the first time I'd been honest with myself about everything I'd been feeling about Damon. I liked him, more than liked him. I yearned for him. I wanted him more than anything I ever had.

But…I couldn't do it anymore.

Being second place to the guy I was physical with wasn't something I was comfortable with. I'd just had the same talk with Matt not too long ago. If I couldn't trust the person I was doing things with or I didn't know where we stood emotionally with each other, then I needed to stop doing it. I wasn't going to be that girl anymore. I said I deserved better and I would wait for it. Just like I always had.

I got dressed in an olive green button down and a black and a pleated black mini skirt. The black ankle boots I wore had an appropriate size heel on them, and I told myself I would make today a better day. My hair was straight, my eyes were lined, and I even put on a little bit of lip gloss. I didn't feel as good as I looked, which was fine by me. At least I didn't look as blah as I felt.

My dad had taken off for work early, and I took my time cutting up a green apple and eating it for breakfast. I looked over my homework to make sure everything was the way I wanted it, and grabbed made sure I had a novel or two just in case I got bored in class.

When I stepped outside, Damon was waiting against his car.

He looked me over as I walked past him to my car. "You look nice."

I couldn't remember the last comment he'd given me. I shrugged it off.

Damon reached in his car and pulled out something rectangular and wrapped in white paper. There was a bow on it. "Here."

I shook my head. "No thank you."

Damon look shocked, but not surprised. "Bonnie it's yours."

"No," I said. "It's not."

"I'm giving it to you."

"I'm telling you I don't want it."

His jaw clenched. "Take it."

"Damon," I said softly. "No. I can appreciate the fact that you thought you had to get me something, but it doesn't change anything."

"You don't even know what it is."

"You're absolutely right." I said. "And I'd like to keep it that way."

I slung my bag into my car and tossed the jacket I'd grabbed on the way out into my back seat. I was hoping Damon would leave before I did, but it didn't seem like he was. The only reason I figured he hadn't stayed outside my house the whole night were the different clothes he was wearing. I tucked my hair behind my ear and folded my arms.

"Damon, you really need to go." I said.

He shook his head. "Not until you listen to me."

"We've had this conversation." I said. "You said everything."

"No, you said everything." He said. "And now it's my turn."

"This isn't a give and take, Damon." I was incredulous. "When you had that option, it was nothing to you. Just let it go."

Damon took a deep breath. He didn't need to breathe. He looked at me. "You said you didn't have anything from me other than secrets right?"

"Amongst other things, yes."

"What if I changed that?" he said.

"I don't care." I told him.

"I'm not asking you to." He said. "We're both adults here. I'm only asking for your time."

"Just go, Damon." I said shaking my head. "It's fine, you're fine, I'm over it. Just go please."

"A week ago, in your room, you saw someone in my head."

"Yes," I replied. "Her name's Elena."

Damon rolled his eyes. "Not her. A guy, long dark hair."

I thought back to it. "I remember it vaguely."

"Think about it Bonnie." He said. "Think about the face you saw."

Pale guy, dark brown hair, handsome, dark brown eyes. Smile was a little big but that was…familiar. I'd seen him before in different clothes and shorter hair. I sat beside him every day in my chemistry class.

"Alex." I said.

Damon nodded. "When I met him, his name was Dorian."

"So you do know him?" I asked.

"Well, actually."

"How?"

"I'll make you a deal." Damon said.

I waved my hand. "I don't want to know."

"Bonnie!" Damon half shouted. "Listen to me."

"I did for the longest and look where it got me."

"If I answer all of your questions, anything you ask me, however you ask me, completely honest, you have to take this." He held up the rectangle.

"What kind of deal is that?" I asked. "You could just lie."

"If you let down your barriers, I'll let you in." he said. "You'll see if I'm lying, you'll feel it."

I stared at him as he held the big rectangle. "Why does this matter so much?"

"Is that a question you want me to answer?"

"You can, it doesn't make a difference to me."

"It matters because you do, Bonnie." Damon said rolling his eyes.

My heart swelled. My mind was unimpressed. "I don't-"

"What do you have to lose?" he asked me. "I answer your questions, you get honest answers and a gift."

"If I don't want the gift?" I asked.

"I'm hoping you will."

I looked him in the eyes. "Any question?"

"Any." He said.

"No matter how much?"

"I've got eternity." He assured me.

"Fine." I said, kicking myself.

Damon nodded. "Ask away."

If Damon was giving me this pass, I had to think of everything I'd ever wanted to ask him. I nodded towards my house and both he and the big rectangle came with him. Once inside, we sat in the living room. Me on the loveseat, him in the chair directly across from it. We were quiet for about forty five seconds.

"How do you know Alex?" I asked.

**A/N: Two chapters in two days? You know what that means. Something big is coming folks, and I want you to pay attention to the next two to three chapters. Big events are coming through with surprising revelations and major feelings being revealed. We also see the resurfacing of a character who's been pretty M.I.A.**

**Also, thank you all so much for the response about Bonnie and Damon's scene in her room. I could only hope that the scene in the backyard did the same kind of justice. Sorry if everything seems a little quick, but it plays like a movie in my head so I sort of write it that way. You know how it is right? Bonnie's a strong girl, but in this next chapter she's going to have to deal with a lot of truth. And while she'll deal with it, she still has a ways to go.**

**Dog house Damon is kind of adorable. **

**Also, I'm working on my Teen Wolf fic!**

**Any cheerleaders out there? Let me know how I did! Read, review, read, review, review, review. Or I'll be forced to unleash a Banshee scream on you.**


	23. Truth

**A/N: Went to sleep, woke up, had reviews. Who loves you more than me? No one. I mean it. Let's get some questions answered shall we?**

Chapter 22: Truth

When I opened my eyes, the barriers around my mind were gone. I could feel Damon like a warm current against my aura, seeking me and exploring the depths of my magic. I could feel his thoughts and feelings taking their usual spot in the back of my mind, sitting and eager for me to explore. Damon looked visibly less tense than he did outside. I was pretty sure I did too.

"How do you know him?" I asked again.

Damon shook his head. "We'll save that one."

I shook my head. "Bye, Damon."

"If I tell you that now, knowing you, the other questions that you'd want answered wouldn't seem half as important and you won't ask them." He said. "We'll work up to Dorian. It's a story and you've got time."

He knew me well. I liked and loathed it at the same time. "I don't know what to ask. Answer that while I think."

"I know you have questions." He asked with a small smirk. "Anything, Bonnie. I'll answer it."

"And if you know me as well as you say you do, you'll know I want to think about them. Tell me how you know Alex, or Dorian."

He sighed. "You aren't letting this go are you?"

"No. I'm not."

"I met him in Chicago during eighteen ninety." Damon said. "Roman and I had separated like we did every seven years, and if Roman was the one to keep me on the right track, Dorian was the reason I fell off the wagon."

"So we have him to blame for Psycho Salvatore?"

Damon shrugged. "Yes and no."

"What does that mean?" I asked.

"My actions are mine, but Dorian made me realize that was okay. For the longest time I felt guilty about who I was and what I was doing. I was over the narcissism that comes with a new vampire and on to the depression Stefan wears so well."

"When I met Dorian, I was planning to kill myself again." He continued. "You were right when you said I wanted to die. I always have. The only thing that kept me going was the thought of Katherine. It was years of being in love with someone who'd sold me a fantasy."

Damon's voice had taken on the cadence and speech of something past. I realized he was talking to me in the voice he'd spoken in during his human life. The old America coming out like an accent.

"I told myself that if I could wait just a little longer, Katherine would be free and it would all be worth it. The suffering that I felt, the self loathing that ran so deep I could barely crawl from its depths to remain functional. I was turned at twenty two years old, a man by those standards, but a boy in my heart."

"Dorian had killed one of the daughters of the mayor. When I met him, he was sucking the blood off of his fingers and smiling with the glee of a child. When I asked him what he'd done, he responded that he'd lived and asked me what the fuck had I done."

"There was something different about him." Damon said. "Something cold and unnatural. His eyes were like a darkness I'd never seen in anything before and his features were off. He looked more feral and crazed than anything I had ever seen before. Most of us had to show fangs to be effective. Dorian didn't. I didn't realize it then, but he was the first vampire I'd seen without their humanity."

"It was odd, the feeling of being around someone like that. Having come from Roman who was so unabashedly human, it was a completely different spectrum of what a vampire was. I was with Dorian and I reveled in the darkness inside of me. I killed with him and fed the emptiness I felt inside. I left bodies in my wake because I could. My narcissism was back with a vengeance, my vampirism granted me new vigor."

"One day in particular, Dorian decided to attack the daughter of a witch. I didn't know it at the time, but he kept her in the basement of the manor we were staying in. From what I later saw, he'd done things to her. I mean the girl had suffered and I had done nothing, I hadn't known anything."

"As it turns out, he was a ripper of sorts, but instead of dismemberment, he tortured. He raped. He made the girls hate themselves to the point of killing themselves or begging for death. The same thing had happened with the daughter of the mayor at the time. Her body had been found in such bad condition it was being hailed as the worst crime at that time. He'd kept her, brought her outside with the guise of freedom, and killed her about a mile away from her family's home."

Damon sighed. "The witches came."

I could feel his emotions as he spoke, the honesty in his words. "What happened?"

"They spelled the house so neither of us could get out." He said. "They were on us before we could move. Back then, a coven was huge because it was a family. They dragged us into the basement where he'd tortured the daughter of their family, they tied him to the ceiling and me to the floor."

"The witches read our minds." He said. "They wanted to turn us inside and out, taking our weaknesses and using them against us. Only when they read my mind, they found that I didn't know anything about what he'd been doing to these girls. While I was unnatural and vile, it wasn't their place to judge me and they let me go."

"Dorian had always had a low tolerance for pain."

"He's a vampire." I said. "How is that possible?"

"People think that becoming a vampire means you're less than human. If anything it's almost like the opposite. Becoming a vampire is like saying the rules of nature don't apply to you. The laws of nature don't apply because you're defying the laws by being alive after death."

"The characteristics of your human life, if they survive, can crossover with you. Dorian had never liked pain. I found out after the witches pulled it from his mind, that he'd been abused as a child. He'd run away at eighteen and been turned by a vampire while he was running. The witches thought it would be nice to remind him of his childhood pain and the pain he'd inflicted on every girl since he'd turned."

"What did you do?" I asked him.

"They gave me two choices." Damon said. "I could leave and never come back or I would face the wrath of the witches. Or I could endure the pain with him. You see where I am."

I didn't blame him. "So is that why he's here?"

"I don't know, but it's a strong possibility." Damon replied. "If Jonas found him and brought him here, Jonas more than likely knows something about all of it."

The silence that settled between us was the kind that held a seriousness so deep, I didn't know how to continue. Damon was right about saving the question, I should've. Now anything I asked would be like a subject change or too out of place.

"You aren't getting out of this." Damon said. "I hope you thought of your questions."

I had and I hadn't. "And if I need more time?"

"You don't get it. We're doing this now."

"Why?" I asked. "Why now?"

"Because you were right about what you said. Maybe other people can handle a secret or two, but not you. If I want you to trust me, which you don't, then I need to give you a reason to."

"How do you know I don't trust you?"

"You never have."

"I've trusted you with a lot more than you think." I said, my shoulders tensing.

"I know," he said. "But usually it's all circumstantial. I got the invitation to your house because you were being attacked. You came with me to Charm City because you wanted answers about your magic. None of it was purely motivated by me and I haven't given you a reason to give me that."

Give the boy a prize. "Why do you want me to trust you?"

"Because you're the only honest one here." He answered simply. "Your intentions aren't motivated by your own wants, and you usually have the most conviction of all of us."

"You never thought that before." I told him.

"I think of everything, I just ignore it."

That was about right. "What's the end?"

"What do you mean?"

"You said I was means to an end," I said trying not to struggle with the words. "What's the end?"

"I was pissed off. You aren't means to an end."

It was so simple, it was almost dismissive. "That's not fair."

"How so?" he asked.

"You…that …it's not that easy Damon." I told him. "It's not as easy as you being pissed off and me simply just not being it."

"It could be." He said.

I shook my head. "It isn't. I think you rely on people saying that you lashing out is just typical Damon and so you never really have to account for your own actions. You fuck up, you barely apologize, and then you do something that somehow gets you back in everyone's good graces. I'm not going for it this time."

"Who said I wanted you to go for anything?"

"You always have." I said leaning forward. "All you do, all the time, is try to be so anti everything. Anti hero, anti Stefan, even anti you most of the time. I don't know who to believe anymore, and I don't know why I even should believe anything that you say. I let myself believe there was good in you when all you chose to show me was how much of an asshole you could be. If all you are is pissed off, then I don't want to be around you anymore now than I did last night."

"You want me to beg, is that it?" Damon asked me in a low voice. "Because-"

"I didn't say anything about you begging." I replied.

"I meant what I said, Bonnie. I was pissed off. I don't know what you want me to say."

"I want you to do what you said you were going to do. You said if I asked a question, you would answer it. I'm asking a question and getting half a response for it. You don't get to wound me and give me some sorry ass band aid of an excuse. If that's what you came here to do, fuck you and your gift."

Anger flashed in his eyes. "Everything doesn't have to have some in depth fucking answer. Sometimes things just are what they are, simple or not."

"If you're that simple, Jeremy's got you beat on more than just a painting."

Anger flashed through me. It was Damon's.

And I didn't care. "You heard me. If all you are is a surface answer and Saturday night sarcasm, Damon, then you're even more pathetic than I thought. There is no hope for you. The guy I have feelings for had more depth to him than some brief answer that he thought was supposed to solve everything. The guy I have feelings for wouldn't think he had to beg because he would know I could feel his sincerity. The guy I have feelings for would never sit across from me and be angry at me for demanding as much as he's capable of instead more than he thinks he can give."

"And the guy sitting across from me pales in fucking comparison. You don't like me so let's not even pretend anymore okay? The end you're so nicely using me as means to, is Elena. Play with me until she comes around, I got it. So you and the big white rectangle can get the hell out of my house, Damon. I'm going to school."

I was up and heading towards the door, my heels clacking on the hardwood. Screw Damon and every fucking answer he thought he was going to give me today. He was pissed off? That was it? No. I'd show him pissed off. He didn't have to beg, I didn't want him to. I'd move on, I'd feel better about everything eventually. I still had my virginity and honestly, if this was how men acted after you let them see you naked then I'd have it for a long, long, time.

Damon grabbed my arm and spun me around. "We're not done."

"Yeah, we are." I said.

"You think you know everything." He growled. "You think you know me."

"I know more than you think I do." I shot back. "And since the word of the day is honesty, I'll be honest and say I don't know a goddamn thing about you. I know who I thought you were. Last week was my wake up call. It's time to move on."

"You don't get to move on," Damon's voice was low.

"Excuse me?"

"If you think I'm going to watch you walk around and pretend to be in some lesbian relationship with Jeremy you're wrong."

"You don't get to make that choice for me, Damon." I hissed at him. "I do what I want."

I snatched my arm away from him but he grabbed again.

I whirled on him. "What do you want, Damon?"

"YOU!" he shouted at me. "I want you!"

I was shocked.

"You're right, Bonnie, you're always fucking right. I fuck up and you don't deserve it, I say stupid things and don't make up for it. I fuck you over and blame you for it, you're right about all of it!"

He got closer.

"And you're wrong about all of it too. I'm not using you until Elena comes around and the way you make me feel goes beyond the teenage like fest you seem to think it is. I would never use you until Elena came around or whatever the fuck that means."

"You only want me because I'm avoiding you." I said.

"I want you because I always have."

"Yeah, I got that from the insults and the scolding, and the temper. That just screams that you want me."

"So I haven't been clear about a lot of things and I yell at you for reading my mind, so what? You think that lessens what I feel for you? You think that because I'm not walking around being a bleeding heart and being dopey eyed it means I don't feel anything for you?"

"You do it for Elena."

"Fuck Elena."

I froze.

Damon's eyes shifted back and forth as he looked over me, his grip on my arm firm and unflinching. We stayed like that for the longest time, my hand on the doorknob, my other arm in his hand. And then he said the words that stopped everything.

"Be with me."

The emotional floodgates had been opened and Damon's sincerity flooded through my mind like water breaking loose from a dam. I saw the seriousness in his eyes and it matched the seriousness of his feelings. His gazed was so fixed on me, I felt like I was under a microscope. Breathing became harder, reality was shifting.

"What?" I whispered.

He was close to me again, the kind of close I only associated with him. "Be with me."

"I don't…I don't know what you mean."

"You know exactly what I mean." He said. "I'm asking you to be mine. I'm asking to be yours."

I didn't…I couldn't…"What?"

"I shouldn't have done or said any of those things to you." He went on. "You deserve more than that. You were never second place to me, I should've never made you feel that way."

"Now really isn't the time for you to be asking me that." I said. "Do you even know what you said to me?"

I tried to back away from him, he only got closer.

"For months you've been the only person to ever see me for who I truly am. Nothing ever got by you, you never allowed me any excuses. I pushed and pulled at you and fought everything and you let me. I don't want to fight with you anymore. I'm wasting time."

This wasn't him. I told him as such.

"This last week or so without you, you're all I've thought about. What could I say to make you listen to me? How could I get you to stop being mad at me? It wasn't until now that I realized I was after the wrong things. I should've been trying to give you what you deserve, I should've stopped putting you on the backburner."

"Stop," I said trying to push him away from me.

He grabbed my hands and held them to his chest. "You know I'm not lying to you."

And he wasn't. The feelings inside of him were bursting through my mind like fireworks. I could feel that he liked me, how much he did, and I could see myself in his mind. I looked confused and wary, shocked and scared.

"You love Elena." I said.

"And how long am I supposed to play second place to Stefan?"

"I can't compete with that, Damon." I said.

"I'm not asking you to."

"Elena-"

"Isn't here." He reminded me. "She wasn't with me when I fought my brother. She didn't defend me during your argument. She wasn't with me in Charm City and she definitely hasn't been with me in the last month and a half. But you have. Unrequited love is tacky and the worst form of self-deprecation there is. It's the most dishonest kind of lie, one I've buried myself in."

"You're a truth I didn't expect to find, Bonnie. You wanted my honesty and here it is. You aren't means to an end. You're so much more than what I've let you believe. My feelings for Elena are depressing on good days, there's no happiness there. With you, it's the first time I've felt like me in a long time."

I was shaking so hard my fingers twitched. He brought them to his lips and kissed them.

"I'm asking you to forgive me. If I made you feel like you were nothing, if I made you feel like you didn't matter as much to me as you do, then forgive me Bonnie. But don't ever think that anything we've ever done was one sided."

_Damon may be promiscuous, but it's extremely rare that he's a lover._

"I want you." He said. "More than you think. More than you know. Maybe I haven't gone about it the right way, Bonnie but that hasn't changed."

I would not cry. I would _not_ cry.

"Damon, please stop."

"It's you and me here." He said. "Just us."

And he was right. There was no picture of Elena in his head like there always was, and there was no picture of Katherine either. There was just me and the times we'd spent together. The bed in Charm City, the way I asked him questions when we were on the road. Everything was so startlingly clear.

"I need time." I told him.

"A day." He said.

"You can't-"

"Stop." He said. "You're smart enough and quick enough to have an answer by then. Even more, you aren't inconsistent. The answer you give me in a day is the one you'll stick with."

Damon knew me better than I thought.

"Don't open the gift until you've made up your mind."

"What if my answer is no?" I asked.

"It's still yours."

Damon was kissing me before I could stop him, but I don't think I would've either way. His hands went on either side of my face as he kissed me softly, pulling me closer and holding me still.

He pulled away. "Think about it."

I nodded.

"I'll be waiting."

He stepped around me, opened the door, and closed it. When I heard his car pull off, I went and sat back down in my living room. I could still feel his lips on mine, still smell his cologne. I my face tingled from where he'd held it, my mind raced from his words.

I was late for school.

By the time I'd gotten there, I'd missed first period and had just barely made it to my second one. I sat in my regular seat with Caroline and Elena and kept my eyes down. The whole way here I grappled with the option Damon had given me. A day was all I had to decide how I felt about the guy I already knew I wanted. Why hadn't I said something then?

Because accepting Damon meant accepting a lot. Not only did I have to deal with his anger and his mood swings and his constant inner rebellion, but I had to deal with the only love he'd ever known his life. I had to accept the fact that he was in love with my best friend and had been for quite some time. I had to think about everything, all of it, and come to a decision.

Shit.

The bell rang and I snapped back into the classroom. I didn't need to gather my things because I hadn't pulled them out. I looked at the bored and flashed over the notes. It wasn't anything I didn't already know. Thank god for reading ahead.

Caroline stopped me in the hall. "Okay seriously, this outfit, I'm borrowing."

I tried to blink away my Damon thoughts. "Sure, you can."

Elena chimed in. "I call the shoes."

I stared at my best friend and the only reason I wasn't skipping school to be with Damon. She smiled so brightly and genuine I felt bad for wishing she disappeared.

"No problem." I smiled.

In chemistry, there was one.

Having heard all of Dorian or Alex's or whoever he was back story, I didn't feel comfortable with him being in class. The looks he stole at my legs and the whistling sound he'd made when I walked into the room was enough to make me want to torture him myself.

When class was over, Jonas asked me to stay after class.

"I hear you've been avoiding my little exercise?" Jonas smiled.

I shook my head. "Today is really not the day, Jonas."

"Oh?" he asked. "And why not?"

"Can you leave me alone? Seriously? The both of you?"

"When I've accomplished what I came here to do, then yes." He smiled.

"I'm leaving."

I was almost to the door when Alex was in front of me. "Play the game baby."

"Fuck your game." I hissed. "If Jonas wants to teach anyone anything, maybe he should bring his kids back and teach them."

"Oooh." Alex said.

"What did you say?" Jonas asked.

"You heard me." I went on. "If you'd spent half as much time trying to teach your kids this shit instead of forcing it on me, they'd still be here. Stay the fuck away from me Jonas, I'm not joking."

The look on Jonas's face was so twisted it scared me a little, but I got over it. I was tired of the riddles and the mind games and everything else he and this crazy ass vampire had going on. I wanted out. I had bigger shit on my mind than a game. I wasn't in the mood.

"You'll play, Bonnie." Jonas said. "Whether you like it or not."

"Fuck you. The both of you." I hissed.

Alex let me by and I was out of the classroom and into the hall.

I want to say that I felt scared of Jonas, but I didn't. As soon as I left the classroom my mind was back on Damon and the things he'd said to me. he'd taken me from one extreme to the next and the confusion inside of me waged with my desires.

A part of me, the rational part, examined this from two angles. Damon could be seeing what he's missing and trying to keep me away from what he thought was already going on with Jeremy. I'd heard of not knowing what you had until it was gone, but I was hoping even Damon had limits to how far he would go to be an asshole.

Then again, I got a reminder of just how much he could be whenever I walked in my room.

The other way was…well…what if Damon had been honest. I mean I could feel that he had been, but what if he actually meant everything he'd said to me. What if Damon wanted me more than he loved Elena? Was that possible?

And how did I feel about Damon?

It was one thing for me to act like my feelings were hurt, but it was another thing for me to understand the reasons why. If my feelings for Damon ran deeper than I thought, and I was starting to think that they did, then shouldn't I do something about it? Shouldn't I be with the guy who made me feel things no one else ever had?

Damon had asked me to be with him. He'd asked it in the best way he knew how. He'd held my hands, he'd looked me in my eyes, and he'd given me the best he had. He let me read his mind, he let me feel his emotions. Damon had put himself out there and I had never been so scared of anything before in my life.

The thought of being someone's girlfriend was fun until you actually got slapped in the face with seriousness. In my head, it started out with liking a boy and then being with him and then all of the complicated emotions and complex feelings started to happen. But what if the complex and the complicated happened before? Did it make it easier or harder?

"Boo!"

I jumped and slapped Matt's arm. "You scared me!"

"That's what you get for zoning out in the middle of the hall."

"It's a free country I can zone where I want." I said playfully.

"You looked like an Old Navy mannequin." Matt said.

"Where's a pitcher full of soda when you need it?"

"Twice was enough thanks." Matt said.

"Glad you learned." I said.

Matt looked at me. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

"The last time you zoned out, you kicked Elena out of your house and didn't talk to anyone for a week."

I shook my head. "Stuff on my mind."

"Stuff like?" Matt said.

"If I told you I couldn't talk about it, would you trust me if I said I was fine?"

"No, but I'd bother you about it at least once a day until you were." Matt said.

"I'll take it."

"Friday night is the basketball game, you're cheering right?"

That was tomorrow, how had I forgotten that? "Looks like."

"Good," Matt said. "You're coming to the after party when we win?"

"It's cheerleader code." I said imitating Caroline.

"That was uncanny."

"It means I'm getting closer to that Oscar."

"You'll beat that one chick for sure."

"Meryl?" I asked.

"That's the one."

Outside I caught Elena with Stefan. I'd been thinking about talking to her about Damon, seeing how she felt about him…but I wasn't that girl. Prying for information about a guy never worked out on any of the shows I'd seen and would probably create more problems than they were worth. My decision had to be mine, no influences from others and no time for an outside opinion.

Or maybe I could ask Caroline.

I caught up to her. "I need to talk to you."

"The last person who told me that ended up being in love with Klaus." She said. "Are you in love with Klaus."

"He has really pink lips." I said.

She rolled her eyes. "I forgot who I was talking to. Come by my place, I have to do a few things here and I'll meet you there, kay?"

I nodded. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me, we're best friends."

Sheriff Forbes hugged me when I got there. "I haven't seen you in awhile, Bonnie."

"I've been so busy with school lately." I said. "How've you been?"

The Forbes house was one of those places that looked like something out of home catalog. Personally, I'd always thought of Caroline's mom as kind of butch on occasion (and felt horrible about it), but she had a great knack for designing homes. She and Caroline changed the theme of their home every season. Since it was spring, there were bright yellows and soft greens everywhere. It looked amazing.

"You know Mystic Falls." She said.

I did. "Are you leaving?"

She nodded. "Heading into town and working late. Caroline said she should be here in about-"

"Now." Caroline said, coming through the door.

"Were you behind me?" I asked.

"No, I just speed." She shrugged.

"Which is against the law." Sheriff Forbes said.

"You're the law, I'm not worried." She kissed her mom.

When she left, I went into Caroline's room and sat on her bed. It had been awhile since I'd been here, Caroline had redecorated. There was a lot more purple than there used to be, especially on her bed. Caroline had promised to never abandon pink, but over the years she'd gotten out of it more and more.

Caroline sat on her bed and patted it. "So what's up?"

I sat down and thought about how I was going to phrase this. I wasn't going to use Damon's name and I wasn't going to even allude to him being the guy in my situation. It donned on me that Caroline and Damon had slept together. Suddenly this seemed like a bad idea, but I had a feeling it'd have been worse with Elena.

I took a deep breath and let it out. "I'm having boy trouble."

Caroline smiled big. "I knew it!"

I rolled my eyes. "Care-"

"Don't 'Care' me bitch, I knew you were seeing someone!" she shoved me. "Name, height, eyes, hair, go."

"Did you miss the trouble part?" I asked. "Boy. TROUBLE."

She rolled her eyes. "Boys are always trouble, that's why we like them."

"Is that what it is?" I asked.

"That's exactly what it is." Caroline said. "So what's going on?"

"He wants me to be with him." I said.

"I'm not hearing a problem."

Because I hadn't told her. "He's an asshole."

"Find me a boy who isn't an asshole and he's either gay or dead. Or a puppy."

"A puppy?" I laughed.

"Puppies aren't assholes."

I shook my head. "Matt's not an asshole."

"Matt's not a _complete_ asshole, but yeah, he is." She said.

I'd been vastly misinformed.

"You aren't telling me the trouble in boy trouble." She said. "If you don't tell me I'm going to have to guess."

"I'll give you a dollar if you don't."

"Is he balding?" she asked.

With all of that onyx colored hair? "No."

"Cross eyed?"

His eyes were like perfect oceans. "No."

"Ugly?" Caroline asked. "You know what? I'll just say no, because you know better than to talk to me about anything less than an eight."

I rolled my eyes.

"Little dick?"

"God no." I said quicker than I should have.

"So you've seen it?" Caroline gasped. "What the hell aren't you telling me?"

Quick, Bonnie. "I don't know if he's into me as much as he says he is."

It was the best way for me to say he was in love with someone else without actually saying it.

"Who else would he be into?" Caroline asked.

The question caught me off guard. So off guard that my face gave away the one thing it shouldn't have.

"Bonnie no." Caroline said in a soft voice. "He likes someone else doesn't he?"

"Don't say it like that." I said. "I'll cry."

"Is it an ex?" she asked.

I shook my head. "No."

"Is it someone he met before you?"

"In a way."

Caroline sighed. "Well, is she single?"

"No." I said. "She has a boyfriend, they're in love."

Caroline sat close to me and grabbed my hand. "Because you're my friend I'm going to say some things you won't like and some you will, but I'll be honest either way."

It was the mantra she and I had come up with one summer when we were having trouble getting along while Elena was in Florida with her family. We didn't need it as much as we did back then, but it still applied.

I nodded. "Okay."

"I think it's stupid to be involved with someone who likes someone else." She said. "It's unfair, you're never really sure of it, and you'll end up hating yourself in the end. It's a competition you won't ever win, and you'll be the dumb bitch when it's all over. I don't want that for you."

I didn't want that either.

"On the other hand…" she sighed. "Having feelings for someone changes from person to person. What may not work for everyone else, might just be the right thing for you. If he says he likes you and wants to be with you, then you can accept that. There's going to be a lot of pride swallowing and a very glass half full mentality, but if you think it's worth it, if he does something to you that you know you won't find anywhere else, fight for him."

I blinked to keep from crying. "I read his mind."

"Huh?"

"I mean, like I heard his thoughts while he was telling me everything. I felt his emotions. When he told me he wanted me, it was just that. He wasn't unsure, he wasn't being fake. He meant what he said."

"Well hell, Bonnie." Caroline rolled her eyes. "If you know he wants you, then I say go for it. Be wary though, babes. The type of shit you're entering isn't for the faint of heart."

"When is it ever?" I asked.

"Instead of worrying about being in a relationship with him, worry about making yourself happy. If being with him will do that then go for it. But remember to keep your guard up. You never know what could happen in a situation like that."

I nodded. "Thank you."

"Stop thanking me." she said. "Tell me what he looks like."

"Tall, dark hair, really good looking."

"And apparently a big penis." Caroline laughed.

Back in my room, I lay on my bed with Damon's gift floating over me. There was a B written in elegant writing in the lower right hand corner, and I realized I'd never really seen Damon's handwriting before. I was noticing things about Damon I never had before, earlier today had made me thing over everything.

Caroline had a point. When I stopped putting so much emphasis on what he had with Elena and started considering what he had with me…I thought about it.

Damon and Elena hadn't done half the things me and him had. They hadn't held each other, they hadn't done anything together. All they had was one kiss, one that Elena denied even more so to herself than to anyone else. I'd had him in ways she'd never experience with him.

A part of me felt positive.

The other part felt stupid.

**A/N: I was going to put this with the other chapter…but eh. Too long and they had different messages to them. So what is Bonnie going to do? She has options, she's gotten advice. What should she do? Luckily, I know the answer to that *Wink***

**Things you should know about the upcoming chapters. **

**Chapter 24 will be Bonnie. Chapter 25 will be Damon.**

**Chapter 26 has a strong possibility of being Damon as well. We'll see how the writing goes.**

**We find out what Damon's gift is to her as well. A lot of you already guessed it, but we'll see how you really feel about it. **

**Did Damon redeem himself or is he still in the dog house? Idk about you, but this Damon? He's the one I've been waiting for. I love him dearly.**

**This many chapters in this many days? You know shit is getting real right?**

**Read, review, review, review.**

**Fuck, I really need to write this teen wolf fic. I have such a great idea for it. Okay seriously I'm leaving now.**


	24. Gone

**A/N: You guys, I should warn you. These next…four to five chapters…it's really going to get serious. I hope you can take it.**

**Chapter 24: Gone**

I've heard when you make a choice; it completely negates the other possibilities of the other options. If you're an indecisive person, the thought of that would scare you so bad that you'd head for the hills and wouldn't look back. The thought of your options being gone or even being in something so definite by your own design would scare the living shit out of you.

I wasn't one of those people.

As I pulled on my jeans and buttoned them, I thought about what Damon had done to me, why we were even in this situation to begin with. I wondered if he thought he had to say what he said to get me to talk to him, or if he thought it would grant him, some kind of forgiveness. I wondered if he thought that maybe if he'd put all of his positive emotions towards the front would I see it as a sign of good faith to trust him.

Or maybe I could be optimistic. I could trust Damon for who he was and accept what had happened between us. I could forgive him and understand him and see why he acted the way he did. When you spent the majority of your entire existence being in love with someone who couldn't think outside of themselves, it left you scarred. Having to see the face of the person who scarred you in a completely different way all the time probably ripped him open every time.

I realized I had never really seen Damon at ease.

I woke up to a text message he'd sent me in the early morning. Seven o clock, that's when I had to give him my answer. Though I went back and forth on it several times, my decision was already made. I knew what I wanted, I knew what I wasn't going to settle for, and through all of it, I was accepting how I felt about everything.

My acceptance of the whole thing was reassuring. Being certain about something gave me the feeling of being weightless and completely solid all at the same time. I didn't know what today was going to bring me, or even give me, but I knew I'd make it despite whatever happened.

I knew that I'd be okay.

Mystic Falls High was a like a city of crimson and black, everything and everyone decorated in their own fashions. There were so many homemade wolves made of so many different things it was almost comical. I wondered what anybody here would do if they actually saw a live werewolf. I wondered if a lot of them already had.

"Bonnie!" I heard someone call my name.

It was Tyler. And it wasn't until I saw him jogging towards me that I realized I hadn't seen him in forever. Honestly, I hadn't really ever cared for him, but I saw the way he treated Caroline and I couldn't deny him that. Plus I'd told him that if he ever did hurt her, I'd magic his balls somewhere in the great beyond.

Tyler Lockwood was one of those boys that looked like something you saw on Television. While the rest of us looked like a normal seventeen, he looked like the perfect seventeen. Tan skin, white teeth, perfect douche bag hair and the muscles to boot. I could see why Caroline liked him, and he'd gotten cooler since, but eh.

"What's up?" he asked when he got to me.

"Not much." I said, cringing when I heard a sophomore howl. "You?"

"Nothing, much." He went on. "Just realized we haven't talked much."

"Did we ever talk much?" I asked walking towards the entrance.

"Not outside of Caroline."

Where was this going? "I can feel a little awkward right?"

"Right," he smiled brilliantly and rubbed the back of his head. "I just wanted to um…just be careful tonight, okay?"

"Careful?" I asked. "Why?"

"I mean you're flying tonight aren't you?"

The fact that he even knew what it was while the rest of his teammates referred to it as "being thrown in the air" proved that he was definitely Caroline's boyfriend.

"Yeah, I am, but that doesn't answer the question."

"Just be careful, okay? Watch out for Caroline too." He said

"It would help if I knew what to be careful about."

Tyler's back snapped straight and he nodded at me, then walked away. When I turned around, I could see the back of Alex's head heading inside of the school. I didn't bother looking around for Tyler, I knew he'd be gone, but his words had stirred caution in me. I'd keep it in the back of my mind, but nothing was going to happen now. Inside, Matt was dressed in his basketball sweats and his jersey. I smiled.

"Is that Hottie Donovan?" I asked walking up to him.

He winked at me. "You know it babe."

"Ugh, douche bag isn't your steez." I said.

"I'm Hottie Donovan, babe. Everything's my steez."

He turned and winked at a group of freshmen girls for good measure. They all giggled.

"That's disgusting." I smiled.

"Isn't it?" he put his books in his locker. "You ready for the game tonight?"

"You mean am I ready to be tossed into the air and narrowly miss the lights because one of the knew girls is using more strength than necessary? Hell yeah."

"Two, four, six, eight." Matt said.

"Who do we throw into the rafters?" I clapped.

"Gooooo team!" we said together.

"So how is everything with what's her name?" I asked.

"It's weird being with someone who isn't Elena." He said. "Other than that, it's good."

"I'm happy for you." I told him.

"Don't be. I'll probably ruin it." He said.

"Or you'll be great."

"Am I ever great?"

"You were great with Caroline."

"I broke up with her because she's a vampire." He said.

"There was a lot of other stuff going on too, she doesn't blame you for that." I said.

Matt sighed. "Sometimes I wonder-"

"Stop wondering." I cut him off. "You'll be fine. Be yourself. Pay attention. Think before you speak."

"Profound." Matt smiled.

"Keys to life dude." I winked.

"Jeremy's been talking about you a lot." Matt said. "Is it serious yet?"

I fought not to cringe. In my Damon state, I'd completely forgotten Jeremy. "Not yet."

"Well," Matt poked me. "What's taking so long?"

"My undeniable love for you." I stepped closer to him.

"Bonnie please," he looked around. "Not here."

"I can't stand it, Matt." I pretended to hold back tears. "I just…could you picture it? Me and you."

"You and me?" He asked.

"No matter how they toss the dice."

"We have to be."

We stared at each other longingly.

"We're nerds." Matt said.

"We're hot though." I winked.

"Agreed." He said. "But seriously, why haven't you taken the plunge?"

"You've been watching too much TV." I said.

"You can flip around a gym, but not around my question."

I sighed. "It'll happen if it's supposed to."

"Do you want it to?" He asked.

"I want to be happy." It was honest.

Matt nodded. "Understandable."

I hugged him. "No matter who I date, I'll always have you won't I?"

"Always and then some." He hugged me back.

"Planning on turning into a vampire soon?" I asked.

"Eh, no college plans, why not?"

I rolled my eyes. "I'll see you."

"In your dreams." He winked.

"Oh take me Hottie Donovan." I moaned.

He blushed. "Too far."

I laughed and turned. "At the game."

"And the victory party."

"Confidence gets you everywhere!"

I strode into class and saw Jonas standing at the front. He was writing a lesson plan on the board and, when I took my seat, I could hear him humming something. I watched as his messy scrawl told us our assigned homework for the weekend and he drew a cheerful go wolves into the corner. When he turned around, he saw me and winked.

Something was off.

I wasn't putting the two together. There was something that had shifted in the classroom, a normalcy was disrupted. I'd completely slammed Jonas yesterday and here he was being his chipper creepy ass self. I felt like the main character in the movie as I listened to his humming. The camera was scrolling in on my face as I fought to figure out what was so different. Jonas stopped humming.

I looked to my left.

Alex wasn't in class.

My guard instantly went up. I did strike him as the kind of guy to miss school for any kind of occasion. He was a lap dog, a tool. If he wasn't here, he was off being both of things elsewhere. I didn't have any clue what that might've been though. So far his only objective had been to get me to hurt him and Jonas's behest. If I wasn't doing it and he wasn't here to provide the option…something was up.

When class ended and it was time for me to go home, I walked up to Jonas.

"Where's Alex?" I asked.

"Ms. Bennett," he said. "The whereabouts of another member of the student body are strictly confidential."

"Cut the shit, Jonas." I said, voice low. "Where is he?"

"He's off somewhere doing what he does best."

After the story Damon had told me, I wasn't comforted at all.

"And what would that be?" I asked.

"Why, Ms. Bennett, he's an excellent planner you see. Very diligent in the coordination of his events. Since tonight is game night, Alex has decided to have a few friends and have a little fun."

My body ran cold. "What kind of fun?"

"Aren't you cheering tonight?" he asked.

"What. Fun. Jonas?" I could feel the fear creeping on me.

"The cheerleaders and players have all ready gone home to prepare." Jonas said. "You should be gone as well."

I didn't know what else I could say. Jonas wasn't going to tell me anything and as far as he was concerned this was all still a game. I didn't understand what or why he wanted me so bad, but it was starting to get annoying. I thought about saying something else to him, something horrible, but I didn't want to push my luck. I was pretty sure I was stronger than I had been when he'd taken my powers, but I still didn't want to push it.

I backed away from him, turning on my heel and leaving.

"Have a great game, Bonnie!" He called. "I know you'll do great!"

I was at my locker when Caroline came up to me. "Game starts at eight, We meet at seven."

"Did it change?" I asked.

"Yes and no, but that's not the problem." Caroline said. "Tyler's acting weird."

I nodded. "He told me to be careful today."

"I already gave the heads up to Stefan and Elena." She said. "We'll all be on the lookout."

"Did you tell Jeremy?" I asked.

"You can do that." She said. "I need to find Tyler."

She was heading down the hall before I could say anything else.

I was on my way to my car when I saw Jeremy with some of his friends. He smiled when he saw me and hugged me when I got close enough. He pulled back and looked at me.

"What's wrong?"

"We don't know yet," I said. "Are you going to the game tonight?"

"Everyone is." He said.

"I need you to be careful and keep a lookout for anything suspicious." I said.

"Is something going down?" he asked.

"If something does, stay in the crowd." I said. "Get a ride from a friend, hit an after party, I'll call you."

"What about you?" he asked. "If something happens, I can't leave you."

"Jeremy if something happens, that's probably the best thing you can do."

"It sounds serious." He said.

"It's an if." I said. "If something happens, you'll do what I said?"

He nodded. "Yeah, sure."

"Thank you." I said. "I have to go."

At home, I was flipping through the pages of Melissa's book trying to find something helpful. Maybe I was overreacting, but I didn't think so. I needed something that would cover all of my friends and maybe the entire crowd at school. When I couldn't find that specifically or something that took more time than I had, I cursed and shut the book.

I took my shower and washed my hair. After an hour of blow drying and hair straightening, I grabbed the Mystic Falls cheer uniform. It was a crimson halter top and a short skirt with a split on the right side. I hooked on the black strapless bra and the matching black spanx. I grabbed the small gold chain Grams had given me when I made the squad and fastened it around my neck.

I put on the halter and slid into the skirt. I slipped my feet into the white K-Swiss shoes and examined myself in the mirror. I looked better now than I had when I'd first gotten the uniform. Maybe it had to do with all the exercise Damon had me doing, running through woods and dodging vampire attacks.

Damon.

I eyed the gift in the corner and held my breath. Then, I decided to finish doing my hair and makeup before I went into seeing what it was. I sat down at my vanity and let out a deep breath. It was four twenty five. By the time I was done with everything it would be five or a little before. My time was coming.

Elena had long since taught me the art of a decent ponytail. I dragged the brush over my hair three times until all of the sides were even and the thickest part was the actual ponytail. I grabbed the Mystic Falls crimson, black, and white ribbon and fastened it to the rubber band at the base of the ponytail. I pulled my hair so everything would be even and shook my hair out, watching as it slapped at the nape of my neck. My make up was easy. Eyeliner, glitter eye shadow, and lip gloss.

I looked great.

Damon's gift was the brightest thing in my room, completely stark white and tall. I sat at my vanity, tapping my knees and trying to think of anything else that needed to be done. My room was clean, my hair was done, my make up was done, the homework was done, even my text messages were read and responded to.

It was now or never.

I grabbed Damon's gift and tore at the white paper. I didn't focus on anything I saw other than my nails running over everything. I tore and pulled and snatched and ripped. The paper gave and echoed in my ears as I took it apart. I was seeing more and more of his gift as I ripped and I fought not to. I wanted to see it all at once. When I finally did, I gasped.

Damon had painted me.

I was staring directly at myself, eye contact of the best kind. My entire face and hair had consumed the canvas. My skin was made of browns and golds and hints of red. It was flawless and even. My eyes were their exact shape, slanted but just a little narrowed. My eyes were the shade of emeralds and amber, the latter focusing around my pupils. My nose was straight and with the smallest little birthmark I'd noticed when I was five. My lips were full, the bottom having a little more pout.

He'd painted me when I was defiant.

My lips were parted, probably about to curse him for something. It was the calm before the storm, no, the eye of it. You didn't know whether I was going to walk away or give you what you deserved. Maybe I had a point, maybe I was wrong, but I would be valid and you would feel it either way.

My hair was perfect.

A few strands were blowing into my face, but the layers I had were perfect, down to the strand. There was both curl and wave, but they looked so real I could've touched them. I could see the earring in my ear, one of the small flowery ones. Something was coming back to me, something about this picture was reminding me of something.

He'd drawn me from the woods. One of our first times in the woods.

My hand flew to my mouth, lip gloss be damned. Damon had painted me the way he saw me, the way I truly was. He'd captured the emotion inside of my eyes and the anger on my face. He'd taken me and given me life by form of a medium. I didn't know what to say, I didn't know what to do. I was frozen to the spot.

I could see why he'd wanted me to wait until I'd made my decision. If I'd seen this when he'd given it to me or even a little bit after, I'd have been his. I wouldn't have thought about it as much as I had, I wouldn't considered anything, I'd have given in to him. I'd have been his and he'd have been everything to me.

More than he already was.

My alarm went off and I grabbed my phone. I texted Damon to meet me at my house. He and I could go somewhere and then he could take me by the school so that I could meet up with Caroline, Elena, and the rest of the cheerleaders. I grabbed my pom poms and cheer jacket, which was nothing but a crimson bomber jacket, and headed downstairs.

I called my dad. "I'm on my way to the game, daddy."

"Promise me you'll have fun."

Yeah right. "I promise."

"You're horrible at that."

"Extremely." I said. "But I have to go okay?"

"Love you."

"Love you too."

When I stepped outside, Damon was parked outside of my house. After I locked up, I jogged down the steps and watched him lean over to open the door for me. When I'd slid inside and fastened my seatbelt, he backed out and together we headed out of my neighborhood.

I noticed him taking peeks at my legs as I crossed them. I could feel that he wanted to touch me, I could feel that he was waiting for my answer. Under all of it, I could feel that he felt like he wouldn't like my answer when I gave it to him.

The time for that answer was approaching.

Damon parked alongside the road at a halfway mark between my house and the school. He killed the engine and took his keys out, tossing them on the dash. He was dressed in all black, that perfect pitch black that looked like a cotton version of the night sky. He reclined his seat a little and looked over at me, blue eyes shining.

"Hey." He said.

"Hey." I replied.

He looked down. "Legs."

"Not much of a choice in this outfit." I gave a small smile.

"I'm not complaining." He said.

"You usually don't whenever I'm barely dressed."

"This is true."

Everything got quiet.

I took a deep breath, let it out, and tried again. "I opened your gift."

He nodded. "What did you think?"

"It was…I'm very much the focus of it." I said nervously.

"That was the point."

I nodded quickly. "It was so beautiful."

"I spent a lot of time on it."

"It shows."

"I hope."

I could feel his anticipation mingling with my nervousness and it created a type of energy within me that begged for me to say something. I wished my hair was down so I could play with the ends of it. I wished a song was on so I could lose myself in it. I wished there was something that would help me say what I needed to say.

But there was.

I had my decision, I had the choices and events that it was based on. I was ready to tell Damon what I needed to. I knew what had to be done, I knew I needed to say something. He was patient with me while I had my inner turmoil. I may have been sitting at a halfway point, but I was at a point where I couldn't turn back.

I didn't want to.

"I want you." I said softly.

Damon blinked.

"I want you more than anything I've ever wanted."

He still didn't say anything.

"When I met you, I hated you." I went on. "I thought you were horrible, I wanted you dead. I still have moments like that. But overtime, I…I started to really examine the things you were doing and the reasons why you were and there was a method to the majority of it."

"A lot of what you do is senseless and pointless and cruel. Like that day in my room…it's a lot to get around sometimes. But I always get it Damon, eventually, I always get it. And that's not something I can say about anyone, not even my best friends and definitely not my family."

"The thing I adore about you is that even in your darkest moments you're so irrevocably yourself that it's heart wrenching. And I get you, Damon. I understand everything. I know everything. I want everything."

"You're in love with Elena and…I can't really…if I think about her and instead of what I want, I'll lose. I always do. She needed help with the tomb, I lost my grandmother. An original came to Mystic Falls for her and my mother left. I'm just…I'm just tired of not acting on my wants and desires even if they turn out to be mistakes."

"What mistakes have I made? Done a spell that backfired a time or two, but you've given me so much of everything. You've let me screw up, you've let me grow, you've helped me do things that I probably would've never done if you hadn't stepped in. You cared about me."

"Roman told me in Charm City that if I liked you, if I wanted you, I should go for it. Caroline says it's stupid to want someone who has feelings for someone who has feelings for someone else. I say that if you mean what you said yesterday, if you want me to be yours then I am. I have been for awhile now."

I could feel Damon trying to be patient. I could see in his mind he planned on shoving his tongue down my throat.

"But there's things I'm going to need from you if that's going to happen." I told him.

He nodded, still quiet.

"I want to come first, Damon." I said. "I shouldn't have to bring that up, but I need it. I crave it. I can't live in someone else's shadow. if I'm going to give you a chance, I need to get one."

"I agree." His voice was soft.

"I want you to be more patient with me. I'm seventeen and you're ancient. I don't have it all together, I won't get it every time, and I'm probably going to piss you off more now than I ever have. But I'm worth it Damon. I'm worth the patience."

"I want you to apologize to Caroline." I said.

"What? Why would-"

"Having been on the receiving end of your negative emotions, having been pushed against a wall and…I just don't think it was fair for you to use her against Stefan and Elena. The guy I believe in can apologize for that. I'm not asking for it to be elaborate, I'm asking for it to happen."

Damon stared at me for a second, then nodded. "Done."

"The last thing," I said. "and probably the most serious of all of it, is that I want to call of the sex related stuff until I feel like I can trust you."

He smirked.

"What?" I asked.

"I figured that was coming." He said. "Actually, I thought it'd be first."

"Nah." I said.

"Did you mean all of that?" he asked.

"Did you mean what you said yesterday?"

"You could feel me." He said.

"You couldn't?"

"I felt that you don't trust me, but you feel for me more than you distrust me."

I shrugged. "I'm giving you the chance to."

"Are you sure you want to?" I asked.

"Wasn't it you who told me that once I made a decision I'd stick with it? That I wasn't inconsistent?"

"I know." He said. "But that doesn't mean you won't regret it."

"If I were going to regret anything with you, I wouldn't be here."

"I thought your answer would've been no."

I sighed. "I thought about that. You're in love with my best friend. You always have been."

"I talked to Alaric about that once." He said. "Being in love with Elena."

"What did he say?"

"That maybe I shouldn't make the most interesting thing about me a lifelong feud with my brother."

I could hug Alaric. "He's right."

"When you weren't talking to me, I did a lot of thinking." He said. "I thought about everything."

I nodded.

"I thought about Katherine and Elena and I realized something."

"What was it?"

"I was…obsessive." He said. "In the worst kind of way."

I listened to him.

"If I'd still been in love with Katherine…I don't know. Maybe it'd be different. My whole life I looked over how she treated me and I wondered maybe if she'd been a better person, maybe if she'd been more demure or something like that, then I'd have a shot."

"When I met Elena…she had something Katherine didn't. She was friendly and compassionate thought of others. She had some of Katherine's ways but nothing so extreme. Katherine sought to be the center of attention. Elena just was."

"I thought I had a shot, but Stefan got to her first." Damon went on. "For awhile, I felt like I'd lost all over again."

"But then you happened," he said. "And it was so random. We just started seeing more of each other all the time. Being around each other, talking and fighting for each other. I realized that Elena had never done that for me. Anything Elena and I did was for Stefan. Always Stefan."

"I can't keep doing that." Damon said. "Not to myself, not to Stefan, not to you."

I could feel that he meant it.

He grabbed my hand. "If we do this, we have to trust each other."

"Damon I-"

"Trust me enough to prove to you that you can."

I nodded. "Okay. I can do that."

"Good." He said.

"Good." I nodded.

And then we were all over each other. Kissing and grabbing and touching each other in ways we hadn't done it what felt like an eternity. Damon ripped away my seat belt and pulled me onto his lap pulling me closer to him and stripping off my jacket and touching as much of my skin as he could. My fingers were in the thickness of his hair, my legs on either side of him.

I pulled away from him and stared. He trailed a finger down my jaw line and we were kissing again, slower this time. He held me differently than he had the other times. It was closer than close, more intimate. Like he never wanted me to leave.

"I missed this." He said, kissing my bottom lip.

"Me too." Then the world came back. "What time is it?"

Damon reached between us and pulled out his cell. "Five fifty."

"Shit!" I was back in the passenger seat and slipping my jacket back on. "Drop me off at school."

Damon laughed as he pulled off the side of the road and drove at that street scorching speed I was beginning to love. I pulled my tube of lip gloss out of my bag and reapplied it in his mirror. I made sure my hair was perfect and my eye makeup was okay. I was glad I hadn't cried.

I was really glad I hadn't cried.

By the time Damon swerved in front of the cheerleaders; I was the epitome of Mystic Cheer Squad greatness. I stepped out of the car and right next to Caroline and Elena. Damon leaned down when I got out before I could shut the door.

"Barbie!" he shouted.

"Fuck you!" she spat.

"I'm sorry!" he shouted.

"What?" Caroline looked shocked.

"You heard me. I'm sorry. For everything. We're good now."

Damon slammed his door shut, but not before he looked at me for the briefest of seconds. I'd told him it didn't have to be extravagant, I'd just told him it needed to happen. And he did it. I'd convince Caroline to talk to him again.

When he was gone, Caroline looked at me. "Did he just…?"

"Looks like it." I said.

"Why were you riding with him?" Elena asked.

"My car wouldn't start." I lied. I looked at Caroline. "Did you find Tyler?"

She nodded. "He's with the other players."

Good. "Are we still on the lookout?"

"Aren't we always?" Caroline asked.

Elena shrugged. "Story of our lives."

Caroline got the rest of the girls together and, in a perfect V formation, we walked into the gym. I could see the people stopping and looking at us, so much crimson and black, so many ugly wolf costumes. I heard Caroline. We sauntered, our ponytails bounced, our smiles were plastered and dazzling.

And mine was real.

Inside there was a roar when we entered. The crowd went crazy and I'd never heard so much noise at one time. I couldn't blame anyone for it though, it was pretty warranted. Mystic Falls was boring, utterly and completely. We held onto small town drama and milked gossip for generations. People hated who their parents hated, liked what their families liked, and took their families place in our small society.

But on game nights, everyone came alive.

We were all friends, comrades, buddies. We cheered for our team and booed for the guests. We barely participated in halftime and overtime was our religion. The squeaking of sneakers on the floor, the smell of overpriced concession food, the howls from the wolves in the stands and the chanting for their favorite player.

Mine was always Matt.

We sat on the floor and kept our pom poms in front of us. Elena and Caroline were chatting and I was off in my own world thinking about Damon. I could still taste his lips, still feel his hair. I could smell his skin and see his eyes in my mind. It had been awhile since I'd felt all of the muscle and the roughness of his jeans.

I was seriously regretting the lack of sexual activities.

Jeremy was beside me. "You look amazing."

"Like your sister?" I smiled.

"Stop doing that!" he groaned.

Matt shot a three. I screamed as loud as I could. Jeremy joined me.

"I got my ride home," he said. "If anything happens."

I nodded. "Thank you."

"If something does happen, you'll come by right?"

"I'll more than likely be glued to Elena." I said.

"Good." He said. "I'll cheer for you."

"Cheer for Matt, he's our fave."

He nodded. "You better fly tonight!"

"I don't have a choice." I said. "Of course I'll kill it."

We winked at each other. He left.

Elena was smiling when I turned around. "What?"

"Oh nothing, nothing." She shook her head.

Matt and Tyler were dominating, and I wasn't saying that because I knew them. Tyler had hops and Matt was one of the best guards I'd ever seen. I usually wasn't even into sports, but seeing them play together like this made me glad I was a cheerleader again. I loved my courtside seat, I loved all of it.

We scored again.

All of us, every cheerleader, every teacher, ever fan, were on our feet. We cheered, we jumped, we looked at each other in excitement. Matt and Tyler slapped five with all of their teammates and fist bumped each other. It was amazing all of it. The lights, the spirit, everything. I didn't feel like a witch, I felt normal. I had a boyfriend, I had my friends, I had a fucking Friday night.

It was halftime.

We sauntered out onto the center of the floor, taking our V formation with me and Elena on Caroline's right and left. We bowed our head and waited for the music to start. When it did, we snapped our heads up and smiled.

We came alive.

I dipped, I swung my ponytail, I clapped and did my high V. We followed Caroline to a T, stepping when she stepped and moving when she moved. Our hair swung rhythmically and stopped on beat. I toe touched, I hurkied, I danced to the other side of the gym. I counted the beat in my head then took off running. On my sixth step, I let loose. Roundoff, back handspring, back handspring, back handspring, back tuck into a split.

The crowd went crazy.

I got to my feet and bowed, moving backwards into the circle of other girls. When I got to my spot, Melanie Briggs and Alicia Reynolds put their hands out and I placed my feet in them. When they lifted, I did an even higher V and clapped with the girls. We cheered loudly, called out a few players, and shamed the home team.

It was flying time.

The girls brought me back low again, and this time a couple of other girls joined in with them. They hoisted me up again, putting me back in that cheer position where the crowd could all see me. We all counted and, on three, they tossed me in the air.

Double full twist and land.

They caught me and Caroline rushed forward. "Bonnie, can you do it again?"

I nodded and smiled, feeling it. "Definitely."

The girls got me back up and held me steady. Caroline and Elena got the crowd louder and louder screaming my name and shouting for the wolves. School spirit moved through my body as the girls bounced me and we counted again.

_One!_

I felt something. Something was wrong. Something was off.

_Two!_

Pain, there was pain in my face, pain through my whole body, coming at me from all different directions.

_THREE!_

I went flying.

Damon burst through my consciousness like a car through a wall. I could see him in the dark, fighting different attackers. He kicked one of them in the face, but caught a fist from the other one. He snapped a neck, ripped out a heart, and managed to speed about three feet before someone grabbed him from behind and stabbed him.

He growled, fangs bared.

The blade felt hot inside of my body, but weird at the same time. Something spread through me. Damon was disappearing from me. He was leaving my mind as whoever stabbed him twisted the blade.

_Going._

He looked up into the sky.

_Going._

"Bonnie," he whispered.

_Gone._

I fell.

**A/N: I told you it was real folks. These updates are nothing to play with. I have been waiting on this chapter and the ones that come after it for ages. Almost as much as I waited for chapter sixteen. I hope I did it right. I wasn't really into school spirit like that in high school, I definitely was enjoying the drinking and partying parts of high school. Don't judge me. **

**Anyway, Bonnie and Damon made nice. I hope I did everything to a way that everyone liked. I hadn't considered having Damon apologize to Caroline, but the response for that was OVERWHELMING. And so I hope I did it in true Damon fashion. **

**For those of you who are worried about Bonnie's "no sexual stuff" stipulation…raise your hand if you think that's going to stick? *Looks* I didn't think so.**

**Character development, admitted feelings, and coming together. I love it.**

**What happened to Damon? What is Bonnie going to do? **

**Tune in next time folks. **

**Review, Review, Review, Review. **

**Ugh, I'm neglecting Lydia and Derek. Sigh.**

**Seriously, review.**


	25. Flying

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! So while a lot of people were swayed by Damon's heartfelt feelings in the last chapter, some of you weren't convinced. Normally I'd say I would, but…then again, it's not my job to. **

**It's Damon's.**

**Read Damon. Read him now.**

Chapter 25: Flying

Damon POV

Bonnie was shutting herself off from me.

We were in her room, three feet from each other, and suddenly she was leaving. The sensation was like a movie going to black or a song fading into its end. The quickness of it was alarming, how much further she seemed to get right in front of my eyes. Everything was happening and I could barely keep up.

"What did you do?"

Not only had Bonnie shut me off from her, she'd slammed me so far into myself there was nothing but me for a few seconds. I blinked and tried to shove my consciousness back into the real world, tried to see everything around me, but it was hard. Bonnie didn't want me to see anything, her, her room, her home. If I didn't fight harder I'd be blind to her altogether.

I shouted for her to listen to me, but she couldn't hear me. Her eyes were open but she wasn't seeing anything anymore, she was too far gone in her pain. The pain that I had caused her. She blinked furiously and jerked her head, trying to shake herself out of it, but it was too deep, I'd hurt her on more than one level.

When I thought it, the slamming came.

It was like being jerked backwards and having doors slammed in your face, only this time the doors were harder and harder. A door, a vault, a safe. Everything was keeping me out and Bonnie was shrinking so far out of my mind that I couldn't find her anymore. I couldn't feel the mingling of our emotions or the connection we had anymore.

She was gone.

I stepped forward and hit an invisible wall. I tried to go around it, circling around her bed and trying to lunge at her, but it didn't work. Bonnie didn't even move. She wasn't looking up at me anymore, but I could smell the tears that were flowing like tiny streams. I was so aware of my own emotions that for the first time in my vampire life, I finally felt cold.

Shouting. I was shouting.

I begged for her to move the wall, screamed at her to let me in, but she couldn't hear me anymore. The wall was thick, keeping her in and me out. I punched the wall with my fists and kicked at it as hard as I could. It never faltered or gave in the slightest.

I was about to scream her name again, but her father opened the front door. I turned and listened for his footsteps, he was coming straight up the stairs and right for her room. I cursed softly and looked back at Bonnie. She was staring at me, eyes wide with hurt and an innocence that clenched my jaw.

I sped out of her window.

When I landed in the backyard, I heard her father enter her room saying something about pizza and pineapples like she liked. i heard his intake of breath when he saw his daughter on the floor against her wall. I could hear his footsteps as he ran to her. Bonnie was sobbing loud and ragged, the cry of the wounded.

I had to get out of here.

And I was running through the streets of Mystic Falls, pushing my legs further and harder than I had in a while. I outran cars and bounded over various obstacles. I launched myself into the woods and struck out at a tree, fist shattering the bark and causing the tree to crumble. I snatched off branches and threw them with such force into other trees that they shattered. I snapped the neck of a deer and beat a stone so bad it was dust in minutes.

I needed to hurt something. I needed to destroy.

Bonnie's face was branded into the front of my mind. The green of her eyes slowly swallowing the hazel brown that had been around her pupils. The bottom lip that was just a little fuller than the top, but not by much. The eyebrows she arched before she came out of the bathroom and the hair that, even when she tamed it, still had a mind of it's own.

The pain that had shattered her spirit.

I had never done that to anyone before, not on that magnitude. Hurting someone was one thing, killing was even better, but humiliation wasn't something I prided myself on. Having been humiliated by Katherine for years and years, I knew the pain of it.

I tried to feel Bonnie again, I was shoved back into my own head.

_Please go now._

I roared my anger and took out a couple more trees. The sound was like thunder except nowhere near loud enough for me. I wanted to be consumed by chaos and take my mind off of everything. I considered driving another three hours and finding another girl to fuck, but I didn't want to. It wouldn't help anything, it hadn't last time.

My emotions were everywhere, it was never good for a vampire. My baser instincts were taking over, the vampire coming out with my anger. My fangs extended, my vision sharpened, my bloodlust increased. The demon inside said that it could take it all away, if I flipped off my humanity. I wouldn't feel the anger over another girl. I didn't have to worry about the confusion or the aftermath of something I'd no longer care about. It could all be so simple.

And I longed for it to be simple. For the first time in my life, I welcomed boredom. I didn't want to constantly be in an emotional state anymore. If I let the vampire take over, if I let the demon feed and ravage and own the power that I had inside of me, who knows where I'd go.

I could wake up in a place that wasn't Mystic Falls with people who didn't judge and approval I didn't seek. I wouldn't have to worry or care about Stefan because above it all, it wouldn't be my problem anymore. Elena could die, Caroline could fry, and everything in this fucked up town could go to hell. Katherine, the memories, the grave of my father. All of it could burn .

Bonnie came to the front again.

It had been like that every since Charm City, when I got to experience the girl and not the witch. Actually, when she showed me she was the girl and not the witch. She laughed at dark humor and even had some of her own. Her wit was as sharp as any knife I'd seen. She had a smile that reached her eyes and a body for sin.

She was beautiful inside and out.

But more than that, she had a shrewd honesty about her, like she couldn't help it. I had the feeling she had to choose honesty over being fair to herself a lot of the time, and she pulled it off with such ease that one never really considered it. She didn't count Stefan as much of a friend as she did the boyfriend of her friend, something everyone else kind of got misconstrued. Bonnie wasn't fooled by any of us, she knew the prime objective was Elena.

Always Elena.

Even as I thought her name, I still hadn't gotten the picture of Bonnie out of my mind. The way she smiled whenever she got a spell right, the way her eyes narrowed when she was picking apart something in her head. I could feel her thirst for knowledge of all things magical and, for me, I found it amazing. While her friends were caught up in love and danger, bonnie was consumed by the thirst for self knowledge.

I always yelled at her for being judgmental, but I did the same. As much as I agreed that everyone had the right to do what they wanted, how they wanted, with who they wanted, I never left any patience for the things people couldn't control. I never offered true understanding of the things that happened to people.

I never tried to understand Bonnie.

The first time she'd fallen into my head, it had been at the boarding house while we were alone. The both of us had just gotten dressed and I'd gotten a phone call from Stefan about Katherine. He was evasive about it, giving me bits and pieces and keeping me out of the know because of my "obsession" with her, and he feared it would endanger everything. I'd hung up thrown my phone.

Bonne was text messaging when I'd come back into the room, and I will say this about her. The girl gives space. She only talks when there's room for it and she doesn't hover. The downside to that is usually when she does talk, it's a truth you don't want and when she leaves you alone, she leaves until she feels like you're ready to talk.

It was the best and worst things about anyone I'd ever met.

After about twenty minutes, she said something. "Why don't you just call him back and tell him how you feel?"

I looked at her. "What?"

"Stefan," She'd said. "Why don't you just call him back?"

"Were you eavesdropping?" I asked.

"You left the room, I'm still in the same spot. Use your head."

Her tone was aggravated, probably because mine was the same way.

"How did you know I talked to Stefan?"

"You just said it."

"No, I didn't."

"Yes you did." She looked up from her phone. "You just said Stefan thinks you're obsessed with Katherine so he won't tell you shit."

I'd thought them, I hadn't said them. "You're inside my fucking head."

Bonnie stopped, and then smiled a little. "The familiar bond. That must be one of the side effects of it."

"Don't do it again."

She cocked her head. "I didn't do it the first time, it happened."

"We've been talking about you keeping your mental barriers in check." I told her. "You're fucking up."

"Or maybe I just didn't know I had to guard myself from your thoughts."

"Everyone's thoughts. How do you think Jonas put that shit in your head."

"Why are you so angry?" She'd asked. "It was an accident, Damon, you know I didn't mean-"

"It doesn't matter!" I cut her off. "If you can get into my head, Jonas can get into yours. Pull it together."

Bonnie looked at me, blinked twice, and got up.

"I'm going home." She'd said.

"So you're mad now?" I shot.

She left the room. I hated when she ignored me.

The whole thing ended with us arguing and my face between her legs again. She loved it when I tasted her, probably more than she liked inflicting pain on me, which she'd kept her promise about. Since Jonas had done it to her in the woods that time, Bonnie stuck to her word and hadn't done it to me since. Even when the both of us knew I deserved it sometimes.

A week and a half later, I was ready to kill myself.

Bonnie was on the football field dressed in a White T-shirt and crimson shorts so tight my jaw clenched. She was going through the routine Caroline had come up with, and pulling it off better than the other girls had. I'd known Bonnie was flexible, she'd shown me on several occasions, but seeing her in action like this amazed me and made my desire run rampant.

She walked to the other side of the line of girls and began to run. When she picked up speed, she snapped her torso towards the ground and did a host of flips and landings. She clapped and slapped the back of her thighs, then flipped backwards and extended her arms upward. I'd never known she'd had that in her.

Then again I hadn't tried to find out.

When practice was over, Bonnie kicked off her shoes and began to walk towards the exit. I knew the routine, the one we'd fallen into this past week and a half. I would watch her until the thirtieth step, she would stare at me out of the corner of her eyes, and then I would turn away and walk off. Sometimes I hoped she never got to the thirtieth step. Other times, I wish she'd come running up to me.

Neither happened.

Today she did exactly what she did and it was time for me to do the same. I took one long look her, the way her hair bounced around her shoulders and the way she walked with her head high, and then I went back to my car. I drove over to Alaric's and he opened the door and took a good look at me.

He sighed. "We've got to stop meeting like this."

Inside his apartment, he tossed the bottle of whiskey at me, and took his seat in his arm chair. I didn't know what it said about us that I always wound up reclining on a couch while he sat upright in a chair, but it'd become habit. Usually the both of us ended up drunk at the Grill and pissing off Matt Donovan.

"Elena-"

"Is with Stefan." I cut him off. "I'm not here about that."

Alaric looked so surprised I wanted to kill him.

"Don't fucking look at me like that."

He held up his hands. "I'm just surprised is all."

"Well don't be. Character development happens."

"So you're over Elena?" Alaric asked.

I didn't know. Really, I hadn't even come over with the intent to talk about her, but the question was valid. I knew that since I'd been spending time with Bonnie my thoughts about Elena were more conflicted than they were definite, but was I over her

"What do you mean by over?"

Alaric shook his head. "If you have to ask, Damon."

"Just answer it, would you?"

"Are you over her?" Alaric asked again. "Do you still love her? Do you still want to be with her? Are you still going to strain your relationship with Stefan over her? Is she still endgame? Are you ever going to be interested in anyone else? Are-"

"Okay, I got it." I cut him off. "You sound like the fucking paparazzi."

"If I could blind you like they could, I would."

"You know I can stare into bright lights."

"Only when you've fed." Alaric said. "You're looking a little pale."

"Haven't been that hungry lately."

"You're making me nervous."

"I'm not going to eat you."

"Not that." He said. "You didn't come over here to talk to Elena, you aren't eating, the hell is wrong with you?"

I could lie. I could come up with a clever answer. I could be one of those people who had to talk around the truth instead of facing it head on, but I didn't. Alaric was my best friend and had always been honest with me more than anyone else here. Well, except Bonnie.

Which brought me back. "Me and Bonnie."

Alaric cocked his head. "Bonnie who?"

"Bonnie Bennett." I rolled my eyes. "Who the fuck else?"

"You and Bonnie Bennett what?" Alaric asked.

Couldn't say sex and couldn't say dating. "That's a good question."

Alaric stared at me with teacher eyes and a man's knowledge. I blinked and took a swig of whiskey until he could figure the shit out. I wasn't going to spell it out for him, mainly because I didn't know what the hell I'd be spelling.

"Holy shit." Alaric said. "You and Bonnie?"

"Me and Bonnie." Swig of whiskey.

"Together?" Alaric asked.

"Depends on the definition."

Alaric snatched the whiskey from my hand and poured himself a glass. He downed it quickly.

"You're acting like it's me and Donovan or something."

"You and Bonnie…but you hate each other."

"Not lately." I said, then I flashed back to her room. "Not in the last couple of weeks."

Alaric was staring at me with the most confused expression I'd ever seen on him. You'd have thought I'd grown a second head or started trying to suck my own dick or something.

"Your face can freeze like that you know."

"Impossible." Alaric said. "How the fuck did this happen?"

I told him about us working on her magic and the trouble she'd been having with it. I told him about her issues with Jonas and just how deep they ran within her. I told him about the trip to charm City and how we'd gone there for her to get a better understanding of everything. When I got to the part about us getting naked, he stopped me.

"I get it." Alaric said. "That's unexpected."

"Tell me about it."

"I will, trust me. But that brings us full circle."

"To what?"

"My questions." He said. "I think you should answer them now more than ever."

I shrugged, snatched the bottle of whiskey, and drink from it again. "Ask them."

"Are you over Elena?" he asked.

When I thought about my feelings for Elena, I thought hard. I'd fallen for Elena because of the closeness we'd developed over the bonding agent that was my brother. We'd been in danger, we'd been close to death, we'd face obstacles together that would bring anyone close.

But so had me and Bonnie.

As a matter of fact, Bonnie had been the one who fought more for me than she did herself. She listened to me for what I had to say instead of how it could help Stefan. She took my advice because she'd heard it from me and because she trusted me enough to do use it. She didn't go behind my back or play with my emotions. There was no leading on, no games. Just an upfront honesty that commanded respect and left nothing to be desired.

Was I over Elena's constant back and forth? Was I over being a shoulder to cry on whenever Stefan fucked up? Was I over being a hidden desire? Was I over being denied whenever her morals got in the way?

"Yeah. I am." I said more to myself.

Alaric looked floored.

"Next question, champ." I said.

"Do you still love her?"

Love…love was something I had never really experienced before. I thought it was something I had with Katherine, but was that ever really love? I knew what I felt for her was strong and I was always enraptured by who she was, but it had never been returned. I'd been put in my brother's shadow again and accepted the dominance Katherine had over my emotions. In a world where women were prim and proper and too stuck up, Katherine had been wild and free and dangerous.

I'd mistaken my longing for a life outside of my father's expectations for love. Don't get me wrong, I'm not denying what it was at the time. I'd felt for Katherine with my whole heart and soul. But she never looked at me the way lovers did, only the way someone who had you and knew it did. She said sweet words to me and my brother. The only difference was, he'd been comfortable enough in his life and who he was to handle it better than I had.

I had truly grown to love Elena. I loved things about her that Katherine would never posses. A part of me realized that I wanted to start over with this new age Katherine and see what it was that I could have with her. She was nice and kind and compassionate. She would love me in ways Katherine had never. Somehow my plan to get her to love me as much as I wanted to be loved backfired, and she fell for my brother.

Bonnie looked at me, especially when it was us and we were by ourselves hidden away from the rest of the world, like I was who I was. She didn't fear me, she didn't expect less from me, she set her own standards for what she wanted and made them known. We'd been put in situations and she'd always looked to and for me. Did I love Elena, yes. But no more or less than she loved me.

I finally get what Elena meant by her caring for me.

"Yeah, I do. It's just…different."

"Different how?" Alaric asked.

"Different in the sense that me loving Elena was more about me than it was about her. I still love her, but it's not…I have to move on."

I wanted to take a picture of Alaric's face right now.

"Do you still want to be with her?" He asked.

"That's my brother's girl." I said. "She chose him, I'll let her do that."

"That answers the next question." Alaric said.

"I figured it would."

"Is she still endgame?" Alaric asked. "Do you still hope that one day it'll happen?"

All I was hoping for at the moment was that Bonnie would talk to me soon. "No. I'll hope for something that doesn't take up too much time to happen."

"Explain."

"I've wasted a lot of my life hoping for someone to realize who I am and want me for it." I said. "Elena's not going to do that. Hence me moving on."

"You're interested in someone else?" Alaric asked slowly.

Interested wasn't the word and neither was like. "I have feelings for someone else."

"Deep feelings?" he asked.

"Deeper by the moment."

Alaric grinned.

"What was the question you were going to ask me before I cut you off?" I asked.

"Oh, right." He shook his head. "I was going to ask you were you happy."

I thought about my happiness over the past couple of weeks. I was spending time with someone who saw no one but me. I looked into her eyes and saw the possibilities and how easy they would be if I allowed them. I saw her hopefulness and her inner fire.

"Yeah." I nodded. "I guess I am."

"Then get her," Alaric said. "Get the girl."

Later that night, my feelings got the best of me and I went to Bonnie's house.

I could feel her just a little bit, but more than I had these past excruciatingly lonely days. She was like a welcomed warmth inside of my mind, heat after being in the cold for hours. I focused on that little bit of connection between us and sent my own thoughts into it. I wanted her to come outside, I needed her to. She would come to me and I would make everything better. She would accept me for the motherfucker that I was, and I would make it up to her anyway she wanted.

Hopefully she wanted my face between her legs.

Bonnie came out of the house eyes opened but staring at nothing. She took a total of five steps towards me and then stopped. She was wearing an oversized t shirt and her hair was all over the place. She hadn't been this close to me in so long I had to say something to keep myself from jumping on her.

"Look at that. It worked."

She faced me as I stepped out from the trees in her backyard.

"What the fuck is going on?" she asked.

Good a start as any. "Your barriers are weaker when you're asleep. Strong enough to keep someone out, but not me."

Two seconds, and then she was heading back towards the house.

We went back and forth, hissing and spitting our words at each other. Me growling and her standing her ground. I'd come over here with the intention to make things better and she wouldn't get over herself long enough for me say anything. She brought up Elena, but I couldn't get my point in because she'd told me to shut up.

And then she was crying.

"You told me I was means to an end, Damon. You said that to me in my room. I can't go in there and not think about it. You have an invitation to my house. You have access to my magic, you have everything! What do I have? What do I have from you other than secrets, thoughts about my best friend and sarcastic fucking comments?"

"Bonnie don't-"

"You want to know why that picture Jeremy painted isn't wrong. Because Jeremy saw me the way I'm supposed to be seen. I'm not someone's second choice and I'm definitely not a scavenger for Elena's leftovers. I'm in the forefront, I'm the biggest thing in the picture, and I'm the first thing you see. And maybe my hair isn't supposed to gleam and my fingers aren't right, and my hair doesn't look a certain way, but he did something for me you've never done. He put me first."

The truth was like a wrecking ball, smashing at any defense I could've had. What did I say to something that had been so true? How did I account for my actions and explain that my behavior had been nothing short of bullshit since Bonnie and I had started interacting?

How the fuck did Jeremy Gilbert get one up on me?

She was back in the house before I could come to my senses. The part of her that I'd been able to lure her out of the house with was gone now. Bonnie had pulled even more shields and barriers around her mind to the point of not even being there at all.

I went home.

Upstairs, I reached in the back of my closet and pulled out the things I hadn't touched in what felt like forever. I always kept a blank canvas around whenever I got the desire to paint, and I always kept new paint supplies around me. I cleared the entire space of my floor, grabbed a pencil and nodded. If bonnie didn't think I saw her, if she didn't think she was important, I would show her.

The best thing about being a vampire, was that nothing took as long as it did for humans. I sketched Bonnie's features from my mind and drew her the way I saw her, the way I should've always seen her. The way I saw her now.

I mixed browns and golds and reds for her skin tone, it was one of my favorite things about her. Sometimes she'd look more golden, others she'd look more brown. There was always that reddish undertone though, the kind that went with everything.

I painted the true color of her eyes, the kind that she'd acquired when she started using magic more. I kept the deep gold around her irises because it showed who'd she'd been before us, but I wanted her to understand that I accepted all of her and that I hoped she accepted me.

I realized, as I did this, that I had never done something so nice for Elena other than find Stefan. I realized that even if I had given her a gift, she'd have probably hidden it or something. Bonnie had hung her paintings, from Roman and Jeremy on the walls of her room. I knew for a fact she stared longingly at Roman's whenever she felt down, and often wished she could leave with him.

By the time I was done with everything the way I wanted it to be, I hung it up and let it dry.

In the shower I thought about everything again, and I came to a conclusion. If I was going to move on, really move on, I had to do it. I couldn't keep allowing Bonnie to play the sides while she thought Elena was in the front. I'd been wanting to be loved and have something meaningful and I had the chance to do it for myself. And I would.

In the morning, I was waiting outside of Bonnie's house.

I told her she looked nice, she ignored me. I tried talking to her, but she wouldn't hear any of it. She wanted me gone and she meant it. She even said it. I made a deal with her that if I told her truthfully anything that she wanted to know, she'd take the painting I'd drawn for her.

Somehow, she agreed.

Inside she asked me about Alex. I told her the truth. He was the sickest kind of vampire, one with a past that put Stefan and my own to shame. I'd traveled with him looking for freedom and got nothing but death and chaos. It had been fun when I thought we were just being vampires, but when I found out he was killing these girls the way he had been, I ran.

Bonnie sat across from me with her legs crossed and face blank. "What's the end?"

"What do you mean?"

"You said I was means to an end," her eyebrows raised. "What's the end?"

I shook my head. "I was pissed off. You aren't means to an end."

She looked at me. "That's not fair."

Yes it was. "How so?"

"You…that…it's not that easy Damon. It's not as easy as you being pissed off and me simply just not being it."

"It could be." I said.

"It isn't. I think you rely on people saying that you lashing out is just typical Damon and so you never really have to account for your own actions. You fuck up, you barely apologize, and then you do something that somehow gets you back in everyone's good graces. I'm not going for it this time."

"Who said I wanted you to go for anything?"

"You always have. All you do, all the time, is try to be so anti everything. Anti hero, anti Stefan, even anti you most of the time. I don't know who to believe anymore, and I don't know why I even should believe anything that you say. I let myself believe there was good in you when all you chose to show me was how much of an asshole you could be. If all you are is pissed off, then I don't want to be around you anymore now than I did last night."

From there, everything spiraled.

She and I were back to arguing. She had a lot to say and was going to made sure I heard all of it. Her face was angry, defiant, unrelenting. Her eyes shone with her unwavering mindset and purposeful loathing of me. She didn't care what I had come here to say to her, she didn't want to hear any of it. She told me she was going to school, she turned her back on me.

I grabbed her and turned her to face me. If I let her go out of that door now, I'd never get her back. If I was going to move on, if Bonnie was going to be with me, she had to be shown why she should. I'd fought for the wrong person for years and now it was time for me to do the right thing by myself. She was new and it was scary, the thought of being happy, but I'd risk it.

"What do you wants Damon?" she screamed at me.

"YOU!" The word exploded out of me with such honesty, I couldn't take it back if I tried. "I want you!"

The anger was gone from her face and her eyes widened.

"You're right, Bonnie, you're always fucking right. I fuck up and you don't deserve it, I say stupid things and don't make up for it. I fuck you over and blame you for it, you're right about all of it!"

I moved closer to her, she backed away.

"And you're wrong about all of it too. I'm not using you until Elena comes around and the way you make me feel goes beyond the teenage like fest you seem to think it is. I would never use you until Elena came around or whatever the fuck that means."

"You only want me because I'm avoiding you." She tried.

"I want you because I always have."

"Yeah, I got that from the insults and the scolding, and the temper. That just screams that you want me."

"So I haven't been clear about a lot of things and I yell at you for reading my mind, so what? You think that lessens what I feel for you? You think that because I'm not walking around being a bleeding heart and being dopey eyed it means I don't feel anything for you?"

"You do it for Elena."

"Fuck Elena."

And I meant it. Where was Alaric?

It was time for me to stop arguing with her. I didn't want to do it and she hated it as much as I did. Nothing was going to get accomplished if the both of us were going to keep screaming at each other. I didn't want to scream at the only person who saw me for more than how I acted. i wanted to be with her.

"Be with me."

The connection between us intensified, our emotions mingling. I felt her hurt and confusion. She was shocked and scared and didn't know what to think despite everything.

I told her my feelings, everything that I'd thought about and everything I'd meant when I talked to Alaric. Elena was so small on my scale now that, when I looked back at the last six months of my life, I felt completely stupid. There was nothing that she and I had been through that Bonnie and I hadn't done on a grander scale.

I was moving on. I could feel it.

She asked me for more time and I gave her a day. She was a smart girl and could make her definite decisions. When I left, I went home and went back to my painting. It had been awhile since I'd done anything so…me, in my life. I felt like I was seventeen again, like everything was mine.

The next day, Bonnie and I were on the side of the road.

The look in her eyes told me that I wasn't going to like what she had to say, or rather that she thought I wasn't going to like what she had to say. Personally, I'd already made the decision to accept anything and everything she decided to throw at me, but I'd be honest, I'd listen to anything Bonnie had to say in her cheerleading skirt.

And those fucking legs.

"I want you more than anything I've ever wanted." She said.

It was something I'd never heard anyone say to me before. Because I knew Bonnie, I knew that it held so many layers and complex feelings that I didn't know where to start. The sincerity and the innocence that poured through me felt like nothing I'd ever experienced before.

She was so beautiful.

Her conditions to us consisted of her coming first, which I had already planned. More patience with her and her magic because I was ancient and she wasn't, which made me smile on the inside and I would do happily. The Caroline apology caught me off guard.

"What? Why would-"

"Having been on the receiving end of your negative emotions, having been pushed against a wall and…I just don't think it was fair for you to use her against Stefan and Elena. The guy I believe in can apologize for that. I'm not asking for it to be elaborate, I'm asking for it to happen."

I looked at her for a second to see if she would waver, but she didn't. I hadn't honestly felt guilty about the whole Caroline deal, and while I still don't I could understand why she wanted me to do it. It wasn't fair to Caroline, I wasn't going to be that person anymore.

Most of all, I would do it for Bonnie. "Done."

The last thing, which I thought would've been the first thing, was for us to cool it on the "sexual stuff".

I told her about my feelings for Elena and Katherine, and I was honest about it for the first time. There was no more delusion, only acceptance for what I'd gone through and what I'd put others through. Putting Elena on that pedestal wasn't fair, constantly conflicting Stefan wasn't fair, and hurting myself was unfair. I had something real and I would explore it.

Bonnie and I were all over each other.

Having her on top of me again was probably one of the best feelings ever. Although she and I hadn't had sex, it didn't take away from the chemistry that we had. We could look at each other and say everything. We could touch and know everything. This was what I'd been missing. At the school, I dropped Bonnie off and apologized to Caroline. It could've been done better, but fuck it, I'll try again another time.

I pulled away from the curb and watched my girl smile in the mirror. I caught myself smiling in the mirror.

I swung by Alaric's place ready to celebrate. The way I felt was more than anyone had given me in the longest time. It was the feeling I felt when I danced with my mother in our backyard, the feeling of completion and weightlessness that came with being fulfilled and happy.

Fuck I was happy.

I hung out at Alaric's for about thirty minutes, but he called and said he'd be late and that he'd catch up with me later. I almost considered calling Stefan, but I knew he was at the game.

Why wasn't I at the game?

I took off from Alaric's house and took a shortcut back towards the school. My Nine Inch Nails was blasting, my thumbs were drumming against the steering wheel, and everything was finally falling into fucking place. I could go to the game and talk to Stefan, I could tell him everything was cool between us. I'd wait until Bonnie was ready to tell her friends about us, and maybe we could go see Roman or some shit.

A body hit the windshield of my car.

I swerved and, as I spun out, a hand opened my door and yanked me from the car. The wheels screeched and I could smell burning rubber as I hit the ground, rolling onto my side. A foot struck out and caught me in the gut twice before I could understand what was going on.

The third time it struck out, I caught it. And twisted.

It was another vampire, one I hadn't seen before. I didn't give a fuck who it was, he was dying. Before he could make anymore moves, my fist plunged into his chest and tore away his heart. I tossed it on the ground beside me and spit in his face.

"Motherfucker." I turned to head back to my car.

And got a left hook so hard, my ears rang. Suddenly there were fists and feet coming at me from all different directions. It had been awhile since I'd been jumped, the last time was me being drunk and jumped by a bunch of humans. I went to knees and spun, kicking my leg out and tripping my attackers and flipping out of the circle they had formed around me.

Four of them, there were four of them.

i was running back to my car, but it was pointless. One of the assholes had ripped off the hood and destroyed my engine. Fury ran through me as I picked up a piece of the debris and turned, jabbing the vampire who'd tried to rush me in the chest and then ripping his throat out.

More vampires, a dozen of them.

I took off into the woods, knowing I wouldn't win. For whatever reason they were attacking me, they wanted me alive. I wouldn't give them the chance. I dashed through trees and ducked and dodged flying objects as they tried to trap me. A vampire came up on my left and my hand jutted into his chest, ripping out his heart. I ducked and rolled, pouncing on another vampire and snapping his neck. These amateurs were useless, fucking disposable.

A sharp pain spread through my back. Someone had a knife inside of me, their arm around my neck. They drove the blade deeper as the feeling of my body failing took over. My legs shook and wobbled, my arms twitched and convulsed. I could barely breathe, something was taking over me.

I could see Bonnie.

Then I was fading from her, falling into a darkness filled with pain. She opened her eyes and looked right at me. The girls tossed her into the air as a sea of crimson and black blurred around her. The lights shone brightly as she sailed towards them, I could feel in her mind she was scared for something, terrified and confused.

She was flying.

"Bonnie," I choked out.

And then she was gone.

"I'm sorry."

My neck was snapped.

When I came to, I was being carried. My body was moving back and forth and, when I tried to move my limbs, I found that I couldn't. I heard the clunking of wood, an opening of a door, and I smelled the scent of blood and other things. I couldn't see anything, my eyes were covered, and there was so much blood everywhere it dulled my senses.

Whoever had me was going downstairs. A shift in the air changed and the smell of blood got stronger. I could hear whispers and chuckles but there wasn't anything that gave away where I was. My head and neck throbbed painfully, and the part of my back where I'd been stabbed still stung.

Another door opening then closing.

Then, I was thrown into a chair. My hands and legs were bound with rope that burned my skin on contact. The bittersweet smell of vervain filled my nose and I grunted through the pain. I fought to get free, but couldn't. I tried to say something and got punched. The door opened again, then closed. I heard a voice, one I couldn't place ask for privacy.

The blindfold came off and there was Dorian.

"Hello, Damon." He said. "Long time."

I snarled. "What the fuck is this?"

"This…well, this is us catching up." Dorian said.

He punched me in the side of the head, spots exploded across my vision.

"What do you want?" I squeezed my eyes closed and groaned.

"Just to have a little fun." He said. "We can do that, right?"

"I remember your kind of fun," I said. "Not interested."

"Oh but I've changed!" he giggled. "I've went and gotten a girlfriend."

This was beyond fucked up. I shook my head and spat out blood. "Who would be stupid enough to date you?"

"Well that's mean," a feminine voice said. "You don't even know me."

She stepped out of the shadows and up to Dorian, kissing him and grabbing his hair. She tugged it roughly and slapped him so hard he bled. Dorian licked the blood from his lips as a look of ecstasy blossomed over his features.

"Harder." He commanded and she giggled.

"Not yet," she said. "I haven't introduced myself."

She didn't need to. I knew who she was.

She turned, curly hair spinning with her and dark eyes flashing. The dress she wore stopped just below her ass and her heels were sky high. Kohl lined eyes and red lips that looked blood covered. She smiled and me mischievously and winked.

"I'm Katherine. Nice to meet you."

**A/N: And so now we know what happened to Damon. Right?**

**Katherine's baaaaaaaack. **

**I decided the next chapter, chapter TWENTY FUCKING SIX, is going back to Bonnie. For obvious reasons of course. I hope that Damon convinced all of you of everything. I didn't want to make it something Elena did that made him realize what he had with Bonnie, I felt like that was too cliché. If Damon wanted Bonnie, Damon was going to want her because he wanted her, that was the decision he was going to make. He loves Elena, but not anymore or any less than she loves him. Which, in my opinion, circa season three, she cared for him a lot but there was nothing there. She was still very centered around Stefan in her heart, but Damon was just there for her like Alaric said. I think it's fair, I hope you do too.**

**We have about…I would say maybe(MAYBE) two more chapters? And then the two after that…well…I hope you're ready.**

**Read, review, review, review, review. **

**And for real this time dammit, I'm getting to my Lydia and Derek fic. I just adore Tyler Hoechlin you guys. You don't even KNOW.**


	26. Game Part 1

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews you guys! Here we go. I recently found out that people in other countries are reading my story. That's amazing. I mean it. I love you. No seriously. I love you. **

Chapter 26: Game Part I

The boarding house was a lie without Damon. It was empty and blank and nothing. The walls were bland and the carpet was hideous. The knight's armor in the hall was rusted and the pain chipped. The house reeked of death and corpses as Stefan and Caroline moved around. I was here and I wasn't, I was present and unaware.

I flashed back to an hour ago.

I hadn't done a flip; I'd literally gone into the air like a starfish and fell kicking and screaming and grasping at air. I heard the crowd gasp and the gym go silent. When the girls caught me, I'd been falling so hard all of them had to catch me and the heels of my feet hit the ground and bounced. Everyone was watching me, trying to make sure I was okay. When I was, everyone cheered.

I ran off the court and through the double doors.

Outside, I looked around and tried to feel for Damon. There was nothing but a sick feeling in my stomach and a wall between us. I stripped every barrier I had trying to find him, nothing happened. My friends came outside, all of them, even Matt and Tyler.

Fucking Tyler.

He was on the ground in seconds writing with pain. Caroline screamed.

"What the fuck did you do?" I hissed at him, fists balling.

"I don't know what you're talking ab-"

"Lie to me again and I swear I'll change you in the middle of this parking lot."

Everyone froze, including Tyler.

"Bonnie, please." Caroline begged. "He doesn't know anything, he said he doesn't know."

"He warns me to be careful!" I told her. "You said it yourself he's been acting weird all day. Nobody knows what the fuck is going on with him and then Damon suddenly goes missing?"

Everyone was looking at me with confused glances.

"I'm going to ask you again, Tyler." I stepped closer. "And then you start changing. What. Did. You. Do?"

He was sweating and shaking with fear. I didn't care. "Nothing, okay! I didn't do anything! Klaus was talking about Mystic Falls and I just thought that he might try something tonight. That's it, Bonnie, I swear!"

I'd been staring in his eyes the whole time and I felt the truth of his words. I didn't take comfort in them though, because there went my last hope of finding out anything. If Tyler had known something, I'd have gotten it out of him. Since he didn't know anything, I'd just threatened him in front of Caroline.

Stefan stepped up to me. "What do you mean he's missing?"

The coach came outside and shouted at us. "Donovan, Lockwood, get your asses back in here!"

Matt looked at me. I shook my head. "I'll be fine."

Tyler and Caroline hugged and, with one last glance at me, Tyler followed Matt back into the gym. When the double doors closed, I told them.

"Damon's my familiar." I said.

"Your what?" Jeremy asked.

"Familiar," Stefan said, looking shocked. "He's bonded to her by magic."

"How did that happen?" Caroline asked. "When?"

"When Emily destroyed the Bennett talisman." I said. "Look we're wasting time."

"What happened to him?" Stefan asked.

"I don't fucking know!" I shouted and the ground rumbled, setting off a few car alarms.

"Bonnie," Elena said. "Calm down, okay? Tell us what happened."

I took a deep breath and let it out. "I was flying and I saw Damon. He was being attacked by other vampires, they were chasing him through the woods. He killed some of them, but not all of them. Someone stabbed him and then I couldn't see him anymore."

I saw it again in my head as I told them, reliving everything. I could see the look in his eyes as he stared upward, eyes finding mine in the evening sky. I'd felt him slipping through my fingers, a last ditch effort to show me what was happening to him.

I closed my eyes and let my magic roam free. I could feel the earth, the trees, the wind, and everything in between. I pushed my magic into this town and almost everything surrounding it. I begged with my mind and my magic for something to give me a sign, a direction, anything. I thrust my magic harder and harder into the air, pulling at any sign of Damon.

And I got one.

"West," I said. "We need to go west."

I was walking in the direction when Stefan stepped in front of me. "Bonnie we don't know-"

"It's magic, Stefan." I said. "We need to find him."

"We can take my car." Caroline came and stood beside me. "Elena you can ride with Stefan."

"Who am I riding with?" Jeremy asked.

"Call Alaric," Elena said. "Tell him what's happened, stay at the game until he comes."

Jeremy looked like he wanted to argue, but I didn't have the time. I was heading for Caroline's car and had magically unlocked her door so that I could get in. A few seconds later she was in the car, cranking it and backing up. She waited until Stefan and Elena were in his car and behind us. We'd left the parking lot and headed west.

"You didn't have to do that to Tyler." Caroline said to me.

"Yes, I did."

"Bonnie I get that he's your familiar, whatever that is, but what was hurting Tyler going to do?"

"Put him in enough pain to break his sire bond and, when the pain stopped, he'd be free of Klaus so he could give me the answer I was looking for. Provided Klaus was behind all of this." I said in a monotone voice.

Caroline looked at me and then back at the road. "I guess that's one way to do it."

"I'm sorry." I said. "I panicked."

She nodded. "I understand, Bonnie, trust me. There've been times where I've had to slap him a couple of times myself. But you threatened him with something he was afraid of, I've never heard you do that before."

I didn't know how to respond. So I didn't.

Caroline turned where I told her to turn and the feeling of closeness my magic gave me intensified. We were approaching something, something that would lead me to Damon, something that would help me find him despite the numbness of our bond. There was something in the middle of the street, something I couldn't make out.

"It's a car." Caroline said.

It was Damon's car.

Caroline had barely stopped the car before I was out of it, sprinting towards the car and keeping my magic ready. I didn't know who was out here or if anyone was waiting, but I was ready, and was going, to kill either way. Magic crackled at my fingertips, wind picked up in my ears, my pulse pounded.

There was nothing, he was gone.

There was a vampire on the ground next to the car, heart ripped out. I reached down and grabbed the heart, holding it in my hands. Stefan, Caroline, and Elena came up beside me. Elena gasped when she saw what was in my hand, Caroline and Stefan looked at me with shocked eyes. I didn't pay attention to any of it though, I sent my magic into the heart.

"Animate." I whispered.

The vampire sputtered and gasped back to life. Well not really life, but alive enough to answer my questions. And he would be answering my questions.

"What the fuck?" he looked around. "Wha-"

"Look at me." I commanded. He was still looking at the hole in his chest and trying to find out where he was.

I squeezed the heart; he yelped and focused his attention on me.

"Who are you?" he shouted.

"I'm the one you're going to be honest with." I said. "This car belongs to a vampire, Damon Salvatore. Where is he?"

The vampire looked at the car and then back to me. "Fuck off!"

I squeezed the heart, cold liquid seeping between my fingers. "That's not what I asked."

The vampire snarled in pain. "I don't know where he is!"

"I don't think I believe you." I said.

"Bonnie stop." Stefan said.

"Where is he?" I asked again. "Answer me."

"I don't know!" the vampire cried. "They told us we would find out where to take him if we lived. I didn't get that far."

"Who told you?" I asked.

"We never saw his face."

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

I tossed the heart and, as soon as it left my hand, the vampire died again. I felt my anger building up inside of me, mixing a bad combination with worry and fear. My hands shook and my breathing got shallow. I could hear one of my friends speaking but I didn't know or care which one. I needed to find Damon, I needed to find him now.

"Bonnie, how did you do that?" Elena asked.

"Reading." I told her and it was true. Melissa's book taught me to focus less on traditional spells and to focus more on speaking what I wanted into existence. If I wanted something to float, instead of saying the spell for it to float, I'd just tell it to. It made my life easier not having to recite Latin all the damn time.

My magic was guiding me again, pulling me into the forest.

I was running, leaving behind my friends who were yelling at me. I sprinted through the woods, ignoring the twigs that slapped at my legs and letting my magic be the guide. I jumped over things when I saw them and ducked when they came at my head. I could feel Damon out here in these woods, not all of him, but a piece. I was getting closer and closer and-

I tripped over something. It was one of Damon's shoes.

The magic stopped there and came back into my aura, having done its job. It had led me to Damon as much as it could, but there was nothing else it could do. I held the shoe close to me and fought to pull it together before my friends found me. I met them as they were entering the woods, I dropped Damon's shoe on the ground.

"That's all I could find." I was blanking out, floating away from everything.

"No sign of him, nothing?" Stefan asked.

I just answered that. "No."

Before he could ask me anything else, I walked back to Caroline's car and got inside. they were all discussing something, knowing them it was what they would deem as my weird behavior, but I wasn't here anymore. I was going to that place where I transcended everything and was just floating.

We got back to the boarding house and here I was. Sitting on a couch I'd been naked on not even two and a half weeks ago with the guy I'd just gotten into a relationship with. I hadn't been in a relationship for a whole two hours and already everything had gone to shit. Caroline and Stefan were trying to figure out who would take Damon, but there wasn't a point. Knowing him, he'd pissed off so many people in his life anyone could've shown up.

I left the living room.

In the bathroom upstairs, I tried not to look at anything too much. Everything reminded me of him, I'd spent so much time here. I scrubbed the old blood off my hand and tried to keep from crying. Damon wouldn't want me to cry he'd want me to use my head. I was smart, he'd tell me, think of everything.

Klaus seemed like the best option. Damon had tried to kill him multiple times, it was a great way to get back at Stefan, and a great way to get Elena even somewhat remotely by herself. If we were all out looking for Damon it would take the attention off of her and some anonymous vampire could sneak in unannounced and kidnap her.

Plausible.

I plugged up the sink and let the water fill it. When it was full, I plunged both hands inside of the water and chanted a spell I knew. It was a locator, one I'd done for Stefan in the past. I pictured Damon's face as clear as day in my head, hoping he would appear in the water.

When I opened my eyes the water was black. Wherever he was dark or he couldn't see anything. When I tried to pull the image out more so that maybe I could see where the image was coming from, there was nothing. The water cleared and suddenly I was looking at my hands again.

I didn't give up.

I slapped my hand against the mirror and my chanted another incantation. One that would show me where he was instead of what he was seeing. I pushed my magic into the mirror and watched it ripple a picture forming. There were trees, woods that were dark in the night and then darkness.

Then nothing. I could've screamed.

Back in the living room, I came prepared to throw out some ideas. I could take some of Stefan's blood and use it on a map. I could scry with one of Damon's personal objects and use it to lead us to him. I could summon a flame and use it to light our way.

All anyone wanted to know about was the fucking familiar bond.

"How did it happen?" Stefan asked.

"I told you that." I said. "Emily destroyed the talisman with a ritual. Damon bit me with ritual magic in my blood, thus him being my familiar."

"That was awhile ago." Elena asked. "Has he always been?"

"Apparently."

"How does the bond work?" Caroline asked. "You said you saw it, how exactly?"

I sighed. "In my head, while I was flying, Damon came in through my consciousness and I saw everything that happened to him."

"How?" Caroline asked again.

"We're connected, see Stefan's earlier comment." I said.

The three of them were starting to piss me off. Damon was out there somewhere and nobody was getting off their asses to do anything about it. I was trying to keep calm about everything, this was the confusion stage I was sure of it, but nobody was making a move. Nobody was even trying to come up with anything.

"Stefan do you still have a map?" I asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"Grab it," I said. "Since you and Damon have the same blood, maybe yours could lead us to him."

He nodded. "It's upstairs."

As soon as he disappeared, I cleared everything off the table and took off my cheer jacket. Scrying was one of those things that took a lot out of you depending on how you did it, and I at least wanted to be comfortable. Not that my comfort had anything to do with finding Damon at the moment, but still.

Stefan came back and rolled the map out. He'd even thought ahead and produced a knife so that he could cut himself and the blood would flow. Stefan pulled the knife across his palm and squeezed his fist over the map. As soon as the blood hit it, I began to chant. A wind picked up in the room, the blood began to glow and, slowly, started to move forward.

The map caught fire.

It wasn't supposed to do that, but all the same. I focused on the flame and chanted another spell, beseeching the flame to find Damon. I poured my emotions in it, asking the flame to search and be a guide for me and my friends.

It extinguished. I screamed.

"Bonnie!"

Nothing was working, why wasn't anything working? Fire, water, blood, nothing!

I was frustrated and angry, I was tired and scared. I'd tried everything I could think of and there was nothing. Someone had taken Damon and they'd done it so well not even magic could find him. I'd tried every sort of locator spell I could other than cutting someone open and using their guts as a guide. Some witches used it for divination methods, but it worked all the same.

I looked at my friends and sighed. "We aren't finding him."

"We can keep looking," Stefan said. "If he's out there, we need to find him."

"Do you think it's Klaus?" Elena asked.

I nodded. "It has to be. No one else would be so pissed at him. I mean Damon almost killed him, right?"

"I wouldn't put it past Klaus to pull something like this, but we have to consider other options. We don't want to draw more attention from Klaus only to find out he doesn't have anything to do with it."

"When does he ever not have anything to do with it?" Caroline asked.

I agreed.

"But why now?" I asked. "Tyler warned us and then said he didn't know anything. I don't feel like there's a coincidence in that."

"Maybe Klaus wiped his mind or something?" Caroline tried.

"It's possible, but what's the point?"

"Is Damon still alive?" Elena asked.

I reached at the bond, but there was nothing but a wall there, keeping me inside of my mind. Whatever vampire was blocking Damon like that had to be working some kind of mind trick on him.

I nodded anyway. "Yeah. Yeah, he is."

Stefan ran his fingers through his hair. "There's nothing we can do tonight, is there?"

I racked my brain, hard. There had to be something, anything, that could lead us to him. A spell, a hint, a clue, anything that could tell us where he was. I just couldn't figure out what it was for the life of me. I felt so defeated I didn't know what to do.

I shook my head."No."

Caroline took me home and dropped me off. After we hugged, she pulled out of my driveway and sped back towards the basketball game where everyone was. Stefan and Elena wanted to get back to Jeremy and apparently Alaric had been called. I gave myself a pat on the back for not losing it in Caroline's car, but I didn't know how long it'd last. I unlocked the front door and stepped inside, praying I was alone.

I was.

I closed the door and slid to the floor, everything settling in on me. Not even three hours ago, I was with him. We were talking about us and making these plans to be good to each other and trying to figure out how we wanted to be with each other. I'd told him I'd wanted him, he'd told me he wanted me. For the first time between us neither one had the emotional upper hand, the both of us just happy to be around each other.

And then it was gone.

The only reason I hadn't broken down completely yet, was because for some reason I knew he was still alive. Someone took him, but no one would just take him and kill him. I'd seen enough crime shows with my father to know that if Damon was really meant to be killed, he'd have still been at his car.

Upstairs I turned off my phone and stripped out of my uniform. I lay under the covers and shook as the minutes turned into hours. I was awake when my dad got home at eleven thirty, but pretended to be asleep when he came in and kissed me on my head. Somewhere in the midst of pretending, sleep actually came and found me.

The next day, I took Melissa's book and read for hours. I didn't answer my phone when anyone called and I didn't go downstairs when I heard my father moving around. I skimmed and flipped through pages like a mad woman, trying to find anything that would lead me to him. I read locator spells I'd read more complicated versions of locator spells I'd already tried and spells that would rewind the events of that night. That last one required a lot of ingredients including a flower that didn't even grow in the state.

My patience was wearing thin.

My dad came up to check on me a few times, and I managed to summon some normalcy for him. A few of the parents that had been at the game called him and told him how great I was on the floor and he was beaming with pride when he sat on my bed.

"I hear my baby's quite the cheerleader." He said.

I smiled. It felt plastic. "Nothing special."

"I wish I'd been there." He said. "I heard we won eighty nine to fifty four."

Matt hadn't been confident, he'd been right. "You know when Matt's out there, he gets the job done."

"True. I never really liked that Lockwood boy either, but I heard he's got a mean jump shot."

Being a werewolf would give you that. "Agreed."

My dad nodded slowly then looked at me. "They say you fell."

Fucking small town gossip. "It was nothing."

"Diane Morris said you were screaming."

"I'm a cheerleader. We scream."

"You yell, you shout, you don't scream when you're supposed to be flying."

"I got nervous, Dad." I said. "I messed up."

"You've been emotional lately." He said. "What's going on?"

My boyfriend had been stabbed and was now missing. "Daddy, I'm fine."

"You're not." He moved closer to me. "You're crying for hours, you're spaced out all the time, you're having accidents."

"Girls mess up stunts all the time!"

"I'm not worried about them, I'm worried about you."

"And you don't have to be." I said. "Everyone caught me, I got nervous and overextended myself, and I came home."

My dad wasn't convinced. He stared at me for the longest time and then he looked at me even closer. It was like he was just noticing something about me, like maybe a tattoo he hadn't seen before or a piercing that I'd been trying to hide.

Or the green my eyes had been turning lately.

"Are you wearing contacts?" he asked.

"No." I told him.

"Your eyes were never this green." He said staring. "Sometimes in the summer, but never like this."

"It's a spell I tried." I told him. "Just a glamour."

For emphasis I closed my eyes and used a tiny bit of magic on my eyes. When I opened them, they were the hazel that he knew so well. He visibly sighed with relief.

"I don't know why that scared me so bad."

"It's okay." I said.

"You're using magic a lot more lately."

"I have to learn how to use it dad, if I don't I can't control it."

He nodded. "I suppose."

The both of us sat on my bed in silence, staring at each other.

"You know if something is going on, if anything is happening, I'm here for you."

"I know."

"I mean it, Bonnie." He held my hand. "We went through this patch where I didn't know anything. We didn't talk, we didn't see each other, I didn't know anything. I can't go back to that."

"You don't have to daddy, I'm fine." I covered his hand with my other one. "I promise."

He let out a breath. "Your mother started…she went through things. Things I didn't know about."

I didn't know where this was going. I nodded anyway.

"I was so caught up in everything else, I didn't realize the extent of what my wife was going through. I'd come home and her face would be wet, but she'd be watching lifetime or something. Sometime's she'd be fine and other times I wouldn't see her, I'd just know she was home."

"It was a week that I'd just completely neglected my home life. You weren't coming near me anymore and Abby was getting quieter about everything, and I just wasn't paying attention to any of it. I figured everything was fine because I came home and you two were still there and we were still eating dinner and all the bills were paid."

"I came home that Wednesday and she was gone." My dad said. "You weren't here and I thought she took you too. Your grandmother showed up about an hour later and I just remembered how hard you fought not to come with me. The women in my life had pulled away from me and I hadn't even realized it."

He looked at me. "My point is that I don't want to miss anything. I don't want to wake up and you're not here because I didn't pay enough attention or because you felt like you couldn't talk to me about anything. I know I'm pretty standoffish when it comes to your magic, but I can be open to it. Give me the chance to try."

My boyfriend was missing and my father was guilty. I couldn't deal.

"Daddy," I started. "I'm not going to leave. I'm not that kind of person."

"Your mother wasn't either." He said. "But maybe I made her that way."

Actually an Original vampire came to swipe Elena when she was a baby and my mom led him away, but that was way more complicated.

"Mom had her reasons for leaving. I don't think it was you. Maybe she thought it'd be better for us to leave. Grams told me she never wanted me to have the kind of power she had. That she married you because she hoped that human side would take precedence over the witch."

"Could that have happened?"

I shrugged. "Maybe. I think mom had it wrong though. I think only males can produce half witches with human women. Only because the first witch was a woman and she got her powers from the earth and most witches worship a goddess…it's very female centered."

"You didn't stand a chance." He smiled.

"Not a one."

We smiled at each other.

"Promise me that if you have any questions about anything, you'll ask me."

"Even about magic?" I asked.

"I figure it's just like everything else. Requires effort, tools, focus, persistence. Maybe I don't get the mystical stuff, but I've seen some of the work that goes into it."

I loved him so much it astounded me sometimes. "I love you, dad."

"Love you more."

After he left my room, I felt somewhat better but not completely. Damon was still out there and another day was passing. Had Mystic Falls been a big city with networks and connections and maybe a little more dramatic, we could've found something. I entertained the thought of my friends and I walking into a club and talking to the owner about Damon. He'd tell us the last time he'd seen him, we'd talk to the people Damon knew for clues. Then we'd find him somewhere he'd been the whole time.

I could dream, right?

Sunday didn't bring any results and at school I felt wrong and out of place. Doing everyday things while Damon was gone felt pointless. It took me three times to figure out my locker combination. I dropped my books twice. I avoided the eyes of the people who stared at me in the hall and rolled my eyes when they whispered about the fall I'd taken.

Matt came up to me. "I've been calling you all weekend."

I shrugged. "Haven't really felt like talking."

"So that's what we do when something's wrong? We freeze out the best friend and isolate ourselves?"

"You were busy Matt, it's not like you could stop playing the game to come help us."

"You're my friend." I said. "I'd have taken the heat for it."

"I know you mean that."

"You should." He said. "No one's telling me what went on and Tyler keeps telling me to back off. I'm tired of not knowing until the last minute."

I looked at him. "You hate vampire drama."

"I hate it even more when my friends are in the middle and I can help."

I sighed. "Damon's been kidnapped."

Matt cocked his head. "Kidnapped?"

"Yeah. He got attacked by vampires on game night and-"

I froze. Matt was saying my name I couldn't hear him anymore. All I could hear was my voice over and over again saying one word in different ways. Game, game, game. That whole day flashed before my eyes like a movie. Alex wasn't in class, he'd been saying he wanted to see how far he could go.

Game, game, game.

"Jonas." I seethed.

"What?" Matt said.

Chemistry was free this period and I was about to raise hell. Matt was walking beside me down the hallway, trying to get me to say something, but I didn't. This whole time I thought it had been Klaus because Damon had been the closest to killing him since his father. This whole time I thought maybe Klaus wanted to send a message to Stefan for betraying him and coming back to Mystic Falls.

This had nothing to do with them; it had everything to do with me.

I ripped open the door to the chemistry classroom Jonas was in and strode down the center of it. The desks moved out of my way as I walked, screeching against the floor and slamming into the walls. Matt closed the door and locked it, grabbing a piece of construction paper and putting it over the glass. Jonas was sitting behind the desk. He smiled when he saw me.

"Ms. Bennett, how is-"

Jonas was out of the seat and against the blackboard in seconds. Papers we flying around the classroom with my rage and the sky had my magic was pulsing like a drum. Jonas would tell me what I wanted to know or so help me God I would-

"What?" he asked. "You'll what?"

Pain.

Jonas's body tensed and twitched as pain ran through him. His back arched with the furiousness of the magic I was sending at him. I moved closer to the desk, my eyes narrowed to slits, pain coursing through him like water down a drain filling all of his veins and his senses.

He was saying something.

"More," he said. "Feed that darkness, Bonnie, claim it."

I would claim it alright. I would claim it until he bled.

I jerked my head and he went flying into the desks. Matt jumped and backed away a little. I sent more magic at Jonas than I ever had at another living person, my magic relentless and obedient. I wanted him to suffer, to feel, to fucking pay.

I wanted more than anything to find Damon.

"Where is he?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"I don't know who you're talking about." He managed to get out.

Jonas went to the ceiling then back to the floor.

"You know exactly who I'm talking about."

"Haven't the slightest idea, witchling." He chuckled.

Pain. Pain. Pain.

The sky was darkening with my magic, a wind was picking up. the classroom was bathed in the bluish grey of an impending storm and Jonas was writhing and trying to keep from screaming. I dropped my bag from my shoulder and extended my arm. As I raised it, Jonas came off the ground and was suspended in midair. I clenched my fist.

"You going to kill me Bonnie?" he asked. "Over an abomination?"

"If I have to." I said.

"You're a sad little witch, you know that?" He smiled. "Sad and confused."

"Greta taught me." I cocked my head.

His eyes narrowed. "I see you're finally in the game Bonnie, it looks good on you."

"I'm not playing any fucking games." I seethed.

"Of course you are." He said. "Threatening, inflicting pain, considering murder. You're so far in, you don't even see any other way, do you?"

I clenched my fist tighter, he began to choke.

"You'll never find him," Jonas said. "Not until you embrace that darkness."

A bell rang.

"Bonnie we have to go." Matt said from the other side of the room.

"I'm not done with him yet." I said, not taking my eyes off Jonas.

Jonas laughed at me, full on laughed. "We'll be here all day waiting for you to tap into it. Just ask me how, little girl, I'll teach you."

I wanted him to burn.

Matt was grabbing me and pulling me away. "Bonnie people are coming, we have to go now!"

I let him pull me and grab my bag, walking backwards and away from Jonas. He fell when we got close to the door and landed with a grunt. I hadn't caused him nearly enough pain, I hadn't done everything I could've. I could've tortured Jonas all day if I had to. If Matt hadn't been in here with me I would've.

"This isn't over." I spat.

"I'll be waiting." Jonas winked.

Out in the hall felt like a totally different world. Matt closed the door to the chemistry class and moved us into student traffic. At first I thought he was taking me towards the cafeteria, but he pulled me towards one of the side exits at the end of the hall. His phone was in his hand, thumb moving quickly as he ushered me down the hall and out of the double doors.

We were going towards his truck.

"Matt," I said his name.

His thumb was moving, he was still pulling me.

"Matt let go of me." I said, trying to dig my heels in but he was too strong.

"Matt let g-"

Before I knew it, he was putting me in his truck. He ran around to the other side and got in, locking the doors before I could get out. he pulled out of the student parking lot and barreled into the street. I had never seen him drive so fast, though he always longed to, and when he turned a corner I had to hold the arm rest to keep from flying all over the car. The streets were becoming familiar, I recognized where we were going.

The boarding house.

When we got there, Caroline and Stefan's cars were already parked. Matt got out of the car, came and helped me down, then the both of us proceeded inside. Matt practically shoved the door open and pulled me inside, into the living room where everyone was waiting.

"Matt," Caroline saw us. "Why did you call-"

"Bonnie almost killed Jonas." He said, looking around.

"Sell me out much?" I snatched my arm away from him.

Matt looked at me, then back at them. "Jonas has Damon."

Everything went still.

"What?" Stefan asked stepping forward.

"He has him, Stefan." I said. "He knows where he is."

"That doesn't make any sense," Stefan said, "Why would Jonas have Damon?"

"Killed Luka, Killed Greta, a host of other shit, who cares Stefan?" I asked. "The point is that Jonas has Damon and we can find him now."

"Jonas wasn't really giving out information." Matt said. "Hence Bonnie trying to kill him."

"I didn't have enough time." I said.

"If Jonas didn't say anything, how do you know he has Damon?" Elena asked.

"Jonas has been bothering me for weeks about playing some game." I told them. "This is what he's talking about. This is it."

Everyone looked at me, I rolled my eyes. "Look, we need to go back to the school and grab Jonas before he disappears."

"Bonnie he looks like Mr. Davis," Caroline said. "We can't just take him from the school."

"How else do we find out where Damon is?" I asked. "I don't see anyone else coming up with any ideas."

"I can help with that." A voice said.

Katherine strode in dressed in all black and smiling big like she'd won the lottery. she sauntered over the couch and crossed her legs looking at all of us. I hated that she was, yet again, the tallest person in the room. She focused her eyes on Stefan and smiled.

"I know where Damon is."

**A/N: That. Damn. Katherine. **

**THAT GIRL IS A GODDAMN PROBLEM! *Natalia Kills voice* speaking of today's her birthday and I'm in love with her so yes. You didn't actually think Katherine was playing both sides of the fence did you? You should know better. So this was kind of a filler chapter and kind of not. The next one gets real though, and chapter twenty eight is so real, I don't know if I'll be able to type it.**

**Kidding. Really.**

**As usual thanks for the reviews, you guys are indeed fucking amazing. I curse a lot. Fucking sue me.**

**I hope I did okay. I know I say that a lot, but I'm really not fishing for compliments here, I just really want this to be amazing for you guys because I love this story and I love where it's going and I want it to be perfect. **

**I want to write this teen wolf fic, but Bamon isn't letting me. DYDIA I LOVE YOU!**

**I'm never letting go of Lydia and Derek. Or Tyler Hoechlin. I just can't. He's so gorgeous I could just…I…have you seen him? He's perfection! And when Isaac's all "Is it because you're lonely?" and he's all "Maybe!" I was like it's only because he hasn't met me yet…**

***Reigns in Derek feels***

**Okay you guys, review review review. Game time's coming. I hope you're ready.**


	27. Ready

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews! Fucking amazing ass people.**

Chapter 27: Ready

It took all I had not to throw my magic into Katherine and show her all of the new tricks I'd learned. The last time I'd sent my magic at her, she'd been able to brush it off easy. I was a lot stronger and a lot more determined this time. If the bitch wanted to play mysterious, I could get what I needed out of her. I wasn't in the playing mood.

"Where is he?" Stefan asked.

"Are you happy to see me?" she asked him. "I feel like I'm saving the day or something."

"You're wasting time, is what you're doing." I said. "If you know where he is, you should tell us."

Her eyes flicked to me. "My, my, look who's all grown up."

Bitch. "Katherine, I'm serious."

"So am I." she said. "I can feel the magic coming off of you in waves. You're like a beacon of energy is this forgotten little space of a town. You remind me of Emily."

The tone in her voice was almost affectionate, which bothered me. She and Emily had been friends, I'd known that, but I had figured she'd just used my ancestor for her magic. Standing here and watching her features soften, I realized she really did care for my long gone ancestor.

And I really didn't give a damn at the moment.

"I appreciate the compliment." I said. "Now where is he?"

"You're awfully concerned about him," Katherine pointed out. "Is anyone else getting that?"

"He's her familiar." Caroline told her.

"Oh that is precious." Katherine bit her lip. "I'd love to know how that happened."

"Story time later, Katherine." Stefan said. "Where's my brother?"

Katherine shrugged. "I don't know."

Something shattered. I didn't know what it was, but I know my emotionally driven magic had done it. Everybody in the room looked at me and Matt put his arm around my shoulder. I felt a tiny bit better, but not by much. It was like Matt was a reminder not to hurt anyone, but I was pissed because I wanted to.

"If you don't know, why are you here?" Elena asked. "It's not like you to be completely useless."

"That sounded really backhanded," Katherine said. "Which means you're learning."

Elena rolled her eyes. "Tell us where he is?"

"Why?" she asked. "Don't you have a boyfriend?"

Elena stiffened. "Damon's my friend. I don't want any of my friends in danger."

Katherine scoffed. "If you say so."

Caroline jumped in before I could. "Katherine look, I get it. You have something we all want so you're going to come in here and be the center of attention. I get it, it's you. And while we may not always like Damon, he's still one of us. If you could reach down somewhere in those last season Gucci pumps and try not to be a bitch and help us find him, we'd all be grateful."

I loved Caroline Forbes. I adored her.

Katherine glared at Caroline. "I don't know where it is."

I rolled my eyes. "Then why are you here?"

"The place is spelled, witch." Katherine said in a bored tone. "You know where it is when you're close and you know where it is while you're there, but it's spelled."

"That's why I couldn't find him." I said.

"Bingo."

"You said you know when its close," Matt said. "If you don't know where it is how do you know when you're close?"

Katherine winked at him. "A jock with brains. I should keep you."

"Not into the bitchy type, sorry." He shot back.

"You were with Elena for years." She cocked her head.

"Answer the question." Stefan interjected.

Katherine reached inside her shirt and produced a necklace. It was silver and looked ordinary, but I could feel the magic coming off of it. The magic felt gross and sticky, clinging to the air around it and giving off some kind of light I'm pretty sure only I could see.

"What is that?" I asked.

"It's like a compass of sorts." Katherine said. "If I set out to find the place where Damon's being held, it'll take me in the right direction. Once I'm close enough, it stops working and I remember where to go."

Jonas was a clever bastard.

"Fine," Stefan said. "What do you want for the necklace?"

Katherine smiled and put the necklace back in her shirt. "It only works for me."

"So you have to be the one to take us there?" Caroline asked.

"Exactly." Katherine said. "And unfortunately for you, I can only take one of you."

"Why only one?" I asked.

"It's spelled like that." She continued. "Only specific vampires have these. The compound is a need to know place, unless you're a higher up, you don't get one."

"It doesn't surprise me you're a higher up with the people who do kidnappings." Elena said. "It doesn't surprise me at all."

"I told you the last time I was here I picked the dumbest grunt working for Klaus and made his dreams come true. I get to know what Klaus is planning, but he's so low on the totem pole that Klaus isn't paying attention."

"You've thought of everything, huh?" Matt asked.

"Someone has to."

"And how do we know you're not just fucking with us?" Stefan asked.

Katherine tilted her head. "That's a long way for me to go, Stefan. What would my angle be?"

"Getting us away from Elena long enough for you to get her to Klaus."

"Except I just told you I'd be with you, so how would that work?"

"It doesn't mean you can't set up anything." Stefan replied.

"So you're saying I had Damon kidnapped so that I could lure you away from Elena and then get her to Klaus? Hmm, I almost wish I had thought of that."

"I'm still not convinced you didn't."

She shrugged. "It's really not my place to convince you of anything. I told you what's going on. It's up to you to make the decision."

We all looked at each other.

"But I will say this." Katherine said, getting up. "This decision isn't an open one. You're either coming or you're not. I get you have to talk about it amongst yourselves and I'm going to give you a day to do so. I've seen Damon and…that's about all he has left."

My body ran cold.

"You know how to contact me." she said walking towards the door. "I'll be waiting."

She was gone.

I was going. The decision was made before anyone in here could say anything. I decided not to say anything myself and play into the confusion. I knew how to contact Katherine, I didn't even have to use a phone. I would find her myself and she would take me there. I would get Damon out.

"Stefan you have to go," Caroline said.

"I'm still not entirely sure I believe her," Stefan said. "Katherine's never been this upfront with information. Ever."

"It doesn't mean she's lying." Matt said. "Katherine might be a bitch, but there's always some kind of honesty in whatever she's saying. If she says she knows where Damon is, I'm pretty sure she knows."

Stefan shook his head. "Something's not adding up."

"Stefan it doesn't need to add up," I said. "She said what she came here to say. Stop trying to figure out an ulterior motive. You aren't smarter than her. Let it go."

Everyone was looking at me again.

"I'm serious," I went on. "It's the same thing every time. Katherine comes in and says something, we sit around for hours trying to pick apart what she might be doing and it just doesn't work. From what she's saying, Damon has a day, which is less than the time it'll take you to find out what Katherine _might_ be planning instead of what she's already told us."

"We can't just go with her, Bonnie." Stefan said. "We don't know what she's got going on or what her plans might be. We have to plan, we have to be prepared. Who knows what Katherine might do when one of us is in the car with her."

"And who knows what she'll do if we aren't." I replied. "Elena has the deed to the house in her name, if she stays here no one can get in while one of us goes. Katherine will be with us so we wouldn't have to worry about her snatching anyone. We keep Elena, Jeremy, and Alaric in the boarding house and she'll be fine."

Stefan shook his head. "I still don't trust it."

I screamed. "This isn't about Elena, Stefan, this isn't about fucking Elena! If Katherine or anybody were going to steal of kill Elena she'd be dead right now and she's not. Damon dropped everything for you, Damon has done everything and you can't do this? He's your brother!"

Stefan's jaw clenched and Matt was pulling me backwards.

"You trying to think ahead with half the information Stefan. You're worried about Klaus when Katherine just told us he isn't paying attention to them!"

"Because Katherine's a reliable source of fucking information?" Stefan shouted back. "The second anyone of us leaves, the entire group is at risk. All of us! If one of us dies or if something happens to Elena then what?"

"One of us is already dying, Stefan! Damon has a day, one fucking day, and then who knows what happens? If you want to know what Klaus is doing so bad, I can summon him here and let him tell you, but don't pretend like this isn't the biggest fucking break we've had in days!"

"Katherine wants this!" Stefan said. "Don't you see that? She wants us to argue and fight so one of us can choose to go! It's not going to be Elena, it's not going to be Caroline, so let's face it, it's down to me and you. The one that she won't hurt and the one who has all the magic. If we leave it's a done deal."

"And if we don't leave, Damon dies!" I shot back. "I can't feel him Stefan, I cannot feel him. Damon isn't in the bond anymore, that shouldn't even be possible unless either me or him does it. He isn't there, there is a wall there, I can't break through it. Whoever is doing that is powerful enough to null a familiar bond!"

"Wouldn't it be Jonas?" Caroline tried. "He's a witch, right? He could do it."

"Probably, I don't know." I said. "I mean it's clear that he is, but I don't see how he could block me like that."

"Then Jonas is the one we need to talk to." Stefan said. "If we get Jonas to release the spell on the location, then we can go together, as a team."

"If you honestly think the man whose neck you snapped is in the line of work of helping a Salvatore, then you're not as smart as I give you credit for."

"Back off, Bonnie." Elena said.

"Fuck off, Elena." I shot back. "You just called Damon your friend and you aren't even speaking up. Damon was always there for you, whatever you wanted so that you could find Stefan when he went on a blood bender and now we can't find Damon?"

"Stefan isn't saying we can't find Damon, he's saying we need to be smart about it." Elena said. "Going to Katherine, trusting her, isn't something we can just do. It never pans out."

"No, it never pans out when _you_ don't want to trust her." I said. "When the rest of us are sketchy about it, and you think its fine, then it's okay."

"I have never trusted Katherine!" Elena moved forward.

"Like you didn't trust her when you went to visit her in the tomb? Like you didn't trust her to be your double whenever the situation permitted?"

"Those had to be done!" Elena said. "It's not like we had a choice or an out or anything like that."

"And what do we have now?" I asked. "I'm not saying we should trust Katherine. I don't believe that bitch is anymore trying to help us than Klaus is, but here's the thing. She's the only person who's come in here and had a decent idea. She's the only person who's given us any kind of answers. She's the only person who will tell us anything. Jonas isn't going to tell us anything and all of you know it. You can't compel him, you can't torture him, and who's to say that if you are to do those things, Damon won't immediately be killed?"

"Bonnie we have to be smarter about this." Stefan said. "Katherine just left and we're already fighting each other. I know he's your familiar, I can understand what that's like for a witch, but we can't go on a suicide mission, Damon wouldn't want that for any of us."

I knew Damon. He'd want us to get him the fuck out of there.

And as I looked at the living room full of people, the people I loved and sacrificed for, the people I'd pushed and pulled and wounded my magic for over and over and over again, I felt alone. I didn't feel the bond of team work and I didn't feel like any kind of plan would come together with us.

Stefan had said something and Elena was sticking by him. It didn't matter that she and Damon had risked all our lives recklessly for Stefan or that she herself was a constant risk for all of us. She didn't care that I'd lost my Grams because of the shit her brother had brought to this town. She didn't see it or care about anything other than Stefan.

And he was the same way. There was nothing more important than Elena. If Elena needed to be found or protected, he killed, he compromised, he tortured, he made a way. If he thought it would save her, he would do anything and everything no matter what it sounded like or how it changed or caused an upset in the rest of us. He would get on his soapbox and give long winded speeches about the safety of Elena and how he and the rest of us had to do any and everything.

But saving his fucking brother required a plan.

Caroline had her own inner turmoil. She didn't like Damon, but he was a part of us. Stefan had shown her the way to embrace her new vampirism and had helped her get her life back. He taught her to fight and to kill and to feed. He taught her to be herself but grow more as a person and that the vampirism wasn't the most interesting thing about her.

And then there was Matt.

He didn't know what to do about any of it. There was a reason he'd stayed out of this kind of drama and I could see on his face he was remembering that. I knew from the way he held my hand that, more than anything, he would have my back no matter what I wanted to do. I wouldn't put him in that kind of danger.

And me?

My mind was made up, had been throughout this entire thing. I was going to that compound and I was going to get Damon back. There had never really been another option for me. Period. The fact that I was going to have to be very underhanded and go behind a couple of people's backs didn't bother me in the slightest.

I stood in a room full of friends and cowards. Planners and hesitators. I could see in all of their eyes that they didn't know what the hell was going to come next, but the hoped that Stefan would figure it out. Stefan, the vampire who was addicted to human blood. Stefan, who had fucked us all over in the name of Elena. Stefan, the one who would do it all again if he could.

I remembered a talk Damon and I'd had at the very table he was standing by.

Stefan was a hopeful, a dreamer. He thought that he could, to the best of his abilities, go and get something from Jonas. Never mind that I had been dealing with the man more intimately than anyone in this room, Stefan was the one who knew how he worked. If he knew that much he would've known how to snap a neck probably.

But the thing that bothered me the most, was that Stefan was being undeniably human about the entire thing. His hopefulness and his planning, his looking out for his girlfriend. All of it brought to mind the disgust Damon felt for his brother sometimes.

Back then, I hadn't been able to see it, now it was as clear as day. The true colors that radiated from Stefan's spectrum were bright and attention grabbing. He was bathed in his human colors, pulling them around himself like a cloak and using them to prove to himself that he was still the golden boy he'd been all those years ago.

I didn't need a human. I needed a vampire.

The realization, all of them, struck me like lightening and pulled me out of my thoughts. My decision had been made and my mind was made up. I could see that they were all looking for me to continue arguing, for me to keep going on and on about the decision Stefan made and Elena was backing up. I wouldn't give them the satisfaction.

"Okay." I said simply.

Stefan blinked. "Okay?"

"Yes," I nodded and looked down a little. "You're right Stefan."

"Bonnie I wasn't trying to-"

"No, no." I said, cutting him off. "I understand. Katherine is devious and maniacal, and always has her own personal agenda. You never know what exactly is going to happen when you deal with her and…she's just too unpredictable with Damon's life hanging in the balance."

"That's all I'm trying to say," Stefan walked towards me slowly. "We just need the time to think."

I nodded. "I agree. I think maybe if I go and research some spells maybe we can have something to use against Jonas. If he can't tell us anything, maybe I could get it out of his mind."

"You can do that?" Caroline asked.

"It's like I did with Mason Lockwood," I told her calmly. "I can get inside of his mind and maybe find the spell he casted."

Caroline nodded. "Sounds legit."

"Bonnie I know you're worried about him, we all are." Stefan said, coming to stand in front of me. "We just have to be smarter with everything. I know I keep saying that, but it's true. We're dealing with people who are already five steps ahead when we haven't even moved yet."

I nodded. "I understand completely. He's your brother and you know what's best."

"You can trust me," he said. 'I know you aren't too fond of vampires, but I'm serious. This will work, it will work out."

I looked at him and offered a small smile. "You promise?"

"I promise." He said, hugging me.

When he pulled away, I walked up to Elena. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too, Bonnie. I know you think I'm a bitch."

I shook my head. "If I had a boyfriend, I probably wouldn't let you talk to him like that either."

She smiled. "Guess I better be nicer to Jeremy, huh?"

I smiled. "I guess you better."

Stefan came up with a plan. Tomorrow, during lunch, the four of us, Caroline, Elena, Stefan, and I would go to Jonas's classroom while he was alone. Matt would serve as a lookout. Stefan and Caroline would knock him out Jonas and keep him out until I could set up the materials for the spell. While Jonas was unconscious, I would do the reverse of what Damon had taught me. instead of trying to keep Jonas out, I would force my way into his mind and find out not only where Damon was being kept, but how to undo the magic around the compound.

Stefan would then go with Katherine, much to Elena's dismay, and ride with her while Caroline, Alaric, and I followed behind them. I offered to find a cloaking spell that would make it so Katherine wouldn't know she was being followed. Stefan thought the idea was brilliant.

Since neither Katherine, nor any of the other vampires, had ever gone or even knew where Matt lived, Elena and Jeremy would be there with him until we all got back. Jeremy spent nights over there anyway and Elena had done so in the past, so there wouldn't be any kind of awkwardness there. Once we went over the plan twice with the addition of a few changes here and there, everything was set. After everything was set, we got back in our cars and headed back to school.

Matt and I were silent in his truck. We got all the way back to school, the both of us having kept our eyes on the road, he parked back in his usual spot. I reached for the handle to open the door, but Matt locked it, waiting for the rest of our friends to go back inside. Caroline and Elena looked at us through Matt's windshield, and I pretended to be having a hard time. Matt rubbed my back and waved them on, the both of them nodding and disappearing back inside the school.

"Now," Matt said removing his hand from my back. "What's your plan?"

I looked at him. "What makes you think I have one?"

"I'm not stupid," he chuckled. "You've never given in the time I've known you and I'm pretty sure you didn't pick today to do it."

"I'm serious, Matt." I said. "Stefan's plan is rock solid."

"Which is why I'm pretty sure you have something else up your sleeve." He said.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You know exactly what I'm talking about."

"So you think that by you knowing me and knowing my personality, that I'd pretended to go along with everything Stefan and Elena said so I could find my own work around and do what I needed to do."

"Pretty much."

"That's why we're best friends, Matt."

He nodded. "I know. So what's your plan?"

"It's best if you don't know." I told him. "I don't want you in the middle of it."

"How can I help you if I don't know what you're planning?"

I looked at him. "You're going to help me?"

"Of course."

"Why?" I asked. "You hate all of this."

"Let's be clear about something Bennett," he said. "I was in that classroom with you and Jonas. I know what he said to you and what he wants from you."

"He wants me to embrace my darkness." I said.

"Right." Matt continued. "I saw the look in his eyes when he said it, and I know that's what he wants."

"He's been at it for weeks." I confessed.

"I'm sure. So whatever Stefan thinks he's going to do tomorrow, it's utter and complete bullshit. Stefan isn't going to get anything accomplished anymore than you did, and Jonas wants something from you. He isn't going to get Damon out of anything, he'll make it worse."

"I don't like what Jonas said about you going dark." He went on. "I don't like it, I'm not going to wait for it to happen, and I'll do anything to keep it from happening. If helping you with your plan keeps Jonas from getting what he wants and helps Damon, that's what I'm behind."

I stared at Matt, really stared. His honest blue eyes stared back at me and his All American features added to everything he'd just said. The scar on his lip gave him a ruggedness that added to the whole thing. More than anything, he'd just given me the one thing Elena hadn't and Caroline was on the fence about.

His support.

"I love you, Matt."

"I love you too." He said. "Now what's your plan?"

I'd stayed up until midnight researching spells. I was late to school, but that didn't matter. First period was never anything to get too excited over and missing half of it was fine because my teacher liked me. The spells I'd gotten from Melissa's book would help me with what I had planned today, and more than anything it'd keep me alive.

Matt and I met in a classroom during the first bell to talk about the plan again. He knew what to say and when to say it. My plan was flawless and, even though it wasn't overly complicated, Matt and I made it seem like Oceans Eleven. He smiled at me when I hugged him and hugged me back.

"You'd better hurry," he said. "You know I'm going to get a lot of shit for this."

"Nothing you can't handle right?"

"Eh, Elena's been mad at me before. Actually she's not even my problem anymore, she's Stefan's."

"Is that the sound of someone moving on?" I asked.

"That's the sound of someone being over it." He replied.

I couldn't argue with him there.

My first three classes went along like they usually did, boring and long, but around the time the bell rang, I started getting butterflies. I had one more class before lunch and my plan needed to get put into action. In order for it to work, the groundwork for everything needed to be set now so everything would go off without a hitch.

I needed to find Jeremy.

Which didn't prove to be difficult. He was with a few of his friends when I walked up to him, and I waited until one of the boys, who'd looked at me legs first, nodded at me. Jeremy turned around, looked at me legs as well, and then back to my face. He smiled.

"I need to talk to you." I said. "You got a sec?"

"Of course." He said, waving bye to his friends. "What's up?"

"Oh nothing," I said. "You know, typical stuff. Calculus is boring, Literature is a breeze, I need you to fight Matt at twelve fifteen."

"Wait what?" he stopped and turned me to face him. "You need me to do what?"

"I need you to fight Matt." I told him. "I can't really explain why, but I need you to do it."

"I can't afford the suspension," he said. "I'd do it for you, but after the Vikki situation I'm on thin ice."

"You won't get suspended." I told him. "Stefan and Caroline can take care of that."

"How do you know?" he asked.

"You'll tell them I told them to." I said.

"What's going on, Bonnie?" he asked me. "Be straight with me."

"I really need you to do this for me, Jer." I said. "I can't trust anyone else and you're the only person who can pull it off with Matt."

"Matt's in on this too?" he asked.

"Yes." I said. "Don't say anything to Elena, alright?"

"Do I ever?" he asked.

"Sometimes."

"Never."

"On occasion."

"Ne. Ver." Jeremy said.

I nodded to him. "Thank you. I owe you one."

"You owe me big." Jeremy smiled.

Calculus took forever and when the bell rang at noon, I had butterflies in my stomach. Stefan, Caroline, Elena, and I all went into the hall way and went to our lockers. Matt came up beside me and tapped me on the hip. He'd texted me in class saying he and Jeremy had worked everything out. He was letting me know now, that he was moving into the next part of the plan. I handed him a pouch full of ingredients for a cloaking spell on him, Jeremy, and Elena if Jonas ever decided to come looking. He disappeared around the corner just in time for Elena and Caroline to come down the hall.

Caroline looked at me. "Are you ready?"

I nodded. "As I'll ever be."

"This will work, Bonnie." Elena said. "Stefan knows what he's doing."

And so did I. "I know."

The three of us walked down the hall and met up with Stefan. He'd been talking to one of the other junior boys until we came up, and then he nodded a goodbye. Stefan looked us over, then looked at me.

"Where's Matt?" he asked.

"Spanish." I said. "He had to talk to his teacher about making up a test."

"That couldn't have waited?" Caroline asked.

"Well, it is lunch." I said. "And Matt just got his test back today, so he didn't know."

Stefan nodded. "It's fine, we'll just have to be quiet about everything."

"Right."

The hallways seemed long and short at the same time. Where we'd met Stefan, we would have to go back down the stairs and into the main hall where the other entrance to the chemistry class was. We would slip in through the teacher door and rush Jonas. I would cast a spell on him and immobilize him and, before he could break it, Stefan would knock him out. The plan seemed a little…rambunctious for me, but then again it wasn't my plan. As a matter of fact, my plan should've been coming along right about…

"You think you know me because you were fucking my sister?!" Matt's voiced carried down the hall.

"What the hell?" Caroline asked. We all moved forward.

We heard the sound of something hitting a locker and a crowd of people making that "ooh" sound. We were all moving at a light jog now, and I tripped over my boot and fell into Stefan.

Caroline pulled me back upright. "You okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah, sorry Stefan."

"It's fine. Let's go."

"I could say the same about you, Matt!" Jeremy's voice boomed. "Pretending to be my friend so you can come over and obsess over Elena. She dumped you asshole, get over yourself!"

"Emo pussy!" Matt screamed.

"Closet jock!" Jeremy shouted back.

We got there just in time to see them lunge at each other.

As soon as they went to the floor, the crowd doubled in size and thickened. Fights were few and far in between at Mystic Falls High, and everybody definitely longed to see one. Don't get me wrong, tensions ran high between us students, but no one ever did anything about it other than play a sport. There was a reason we were good at football.

I stood still as Elena pushed through the crowd and everything went exactly as I thought it would. Once Elena moved through the crowd, Stefan wouldn't let her risk being hit by two fighting boys. Once Stefan went, Caroline would help break it up by grabbing Matt and together they would move Matt as far away from Jeremy as possible. Caroline didn't actually need to do that, but she would.

She looked back at me, right on time. "You gonna be okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I'll go make sure Jonas doesn't leave!"

She nodded. "We'll meet you over there!"

As soon as she disappeared into the crowd, I took off down the hall and made a quick right. The exit to the smaller section of the junior parking lot, where I parked, would be through those doors. I ran down the steps and jumped the last two. I shoved the door open and pulled my keys out of my purse. My car was right where I'd parked it, the fifth parking spot in the front, and the door opened when I got to it.

I got inside, started it, and pulled away from school.

Once I was on the road, the sky darkened. I reached into the pocket of my dress and pulled out Stefan's cell phone. When I'd "tripped" earlier, I'd picked his pocket. I had a cousin in Boston on my father's side of the family who taught me how to. He told me that people are so naturally defensive, they were more concerned with contact than the other things on their body.

Nice to know Stefan was still that human.

I took his phone apart and put the pieces in my arm rest. The last thing I needed was him trying to call Katherine and tipping her off. If I was going to meet with her, it was going to be me and her. No one else. I didn't think she'd really listen to anything Stefan said, but who knew, maybe she would. I pictured her in my mind and touched the center of the windshield, muttering a locator spell.

A gold dot appeared, showing me where to go.

Katherine was a little far out of town, closer towards one of the larger cities. I knew the hotel she was staying in would be inconspicuous, though I was a little surprised to see that she wasn't staying at some posh hotel. I don't know why I associated her with that, but it seemed pretty plausible.

By the time I got to the hotel, a Virginia Inn, it was raining.

I parked in the spot the gold dot told me to and, when I shut the car off, it disappeared. I thought about everything, if what I was doing was right. No one trusted Katherine, least of all me, but she had something I needed. She said she could take me to Damon and I had to believe that she could. If she couldn't, I'd make her.

It made my decision easier.

Katherine was in room one oh six. When I knocked on the door twice, I could hear the slightest amount of movement, and then the door opened. For a second, she looked exactly like Elena, reminding me of the stunt I'd pulled at school. And then the makeup and the hair became obvious and I could see her for who she was.

"Now this is cute." She said.

"Can I come in?" I asked.

"Depends," she said. "What's in it for me?"

"A cloaking spell."

She scoffed. "Because I haven't tried those before."

I shook my head. "I'd be putting in your daylight ring."

"Cloaking spells don't do anything against the Originals." Katherine stared at me, bored. "It would defeat the purpose."

"I've hidden his family's coffins from him, Katherine."

She cocked her head. "Have you?"

"Yes." I said. "And if you'll help me, I can make sure you never have to run from Klaus again."

Katherine pretended to think about it, but I saw the promise of freedom in her eyes. It was her whole M.O., being free. She wanted more than anything to stop running from Klaus and I'd help her do it. Well, unless she double crossed me.

But we'd get there.

Katherine pushed the door beside and stepped back, letting me walk in. her room was warm with designer clothes and shoes everywhere, and from where I was standing, I could see a bunch of MAC makeup products on the counter of her bathroom. I looked down at a yellow top that caught my eye. I could admit, Katherine had good taste.

"Lucy liked that blouse too." She said. "I guess the Bennett witches have a thing for yellow."

I shrugged. "Anything to do with daylight I guess."

"So why are you here, little witch?" she crossed her legs as she sat in the chair.

"I want you to take me to where Damon is." I said.

She tilted her head. "Is that so?"

"It is."I told her. "You said you could take one of us and I'm trading a cloaking spell to be that one."

"The cloaking spell was for me to let you in."

"The cloaking spell was for you to help me."

She smiled. "Nice wording you did there."

"I do what I can."

Katherine looked at me. "I thought for sure it'd be Stefan who came."

I shook my head. "He had another plan. I wasn't included."

"Aww why not?" she asked like I was a child.

"I opposed Stefan I suppose."

She sighed. "He has become the leader of your band of misfit toys hasn't he?"

"I'm not sure how, but yeah."

She smiled. "He always did have that leadership quality about him. That thing about him that just makes him ooze masculinity and dominance. Whenever we fucked he would always take control. Because he was the only man who'd ever tried, I let him."

Was I having girl talk with Katherine? My life was really spiraling out of control.

"But Damon," she said. "Damon was a free lover. He believed that you could make her own choices. He dominated sometimes, but only when I allowed him to. He wanted me to know I was special and that he took his time with me and how amazing I was. He let me experiment and try things he'd never let anyone else do. He did whatever I wanted and was oh so passionate about it."

I let it go in one ear and out of the other.

"I mean, the passion." She went on. "The way he looks at you. He's way more dominant now than he ever was back in, and I bet that combined with that fire inside of him is the reason why you love him. Right?"

I froze.

"I don't-"

"Don't lie to me, little witch." Katherine said. "I know what love looks like. And even if I didn't, you're showing it to me."

Loving Damon was something I hadn't let myself admit. I felt stupid for loving someone who didn't love me. I wouldn't let it happen. Until it did.

"You came here and I bet no one even knows where you are." She whispered. "You love him so much that you would come to the last person you needed to in order to find him. You could've come in here and done anything to me and instead you made a deal. You love him, Bonnie Bennett. Admit it."

"I'm not-"

"Admit it," she said. "Or I won't help you."

"If you don't help me, you don't get the cloaking spell."

Katherine shrugged. "I don't like running away from Klaus, but that doesn't mean I don't know how to. It's a habit I'm trying to break, but habits do die hard."

I stared at her, shocked and annoyed.

"Come on, sweetie." She patronized. "You can do it."

I stared at her and thought about everything. Could I do it? Admitting something so strong and passionate to someone else when I hadn't really admitted it to myself was alarming. Except I had admitted it to myself. I wanted Damon more than anything, I yearned for him. Time had fixed itself to where I couldn't imagine myself without him. These seconds, minutes, hours that I'd gone without Damon were terrible. If I had to tell the truth then I could.

"You're right Katherine." I said. "Absolutely."

"Am I?" she said.

"I love him." I said. "I love Damon Salvatore."

Katherine smiled at me. "Doesn't that feel better?"

Yeah, actually. It kind of did.

**A/N: Double Feature EFFERVESCENT FAM!**

**Can I call you guys that? Ugh, I'm doing it anyway.**

**If you thought Bonnie was amazing in this chapter, the next two are amazing.**

**I'll even give you a hint and keep this short. **

**Action. Chapter.**

**Love you guys. Review Review Review! **


	28. Game Part II

**A/N: When I uploaded the last Damon POV it didn't have the last part in it. If you didn't get to read that, go back and do so. Thank you to one amazing reviewer who caught me on my mistake. I love you guys and thanks for your stunning reviews! The song I'd recommend for the action would be BLOOD by In This Moment (Love it) and/or CHASM by Flyleaf. Let me know if you like. **

This is where the fun starts.

Chapter 28: Game Part II

Waiting for Katherine to get ready to take me to "the compound" was like watching a high school girl get ready for the dance. She had to pick out outfits and then reject them, look at shoes and then toss them, do her hair one way which looked the same as it always did. Sitting on the bed in a hotel room belonging to a vampire who would sell me out as soon as she could wasn't the way I wanted to spend my afternoon.

But I'd do it for Damon.

I found out quickly how much I'd do for him. Lying to his brother and making deals with his ex girlfriend qualified me for some type of award. If, no, _when_ I rescued Damon, he and I were going to go to Charm City for my Spring Break. We'd spend our days laughing at Roman and our nights huddled together in the guest bed legs intertwined. He would tell me how crazy and suicidal I was for coming to save him.

His gratitude would be better than his apologies.

Katherine snapped me out of it. "What do you think of this dress?"

She spun in a tight black mini dress that was sheer around the neck and shoulders and had a sweetheart neckline. Her heels were tall and made her look even leggier than she already was. Her hair was perfection in those curls they were always in and her eyes twinkled with an "up to no good" kind of quality.

"You look great, really." I said.

"Better than Elena?" she asked.

Just like Elena with curly hair, bitch. "Way better."

She smiled. "I almost believed you that time."

Katherine was about to head towards her closet again, but I grabbed her arm. She looked at my hand like she was waiting for me to remove it, but I was done playing dress up. We had somewhere to be and I had a mission.

"Katherine you look fine, let's go."

She sighed. "I suppose."

I could've sighed with relief, but I didn't want Katherine to see it. I needed her to get me to where Damon was and I needed her to hurry. She said Damon didn't have long, but she was treating it like he had forever.

She grabbed her purse, a clutch, and strode over to the door. When she opened it, it was raining so hard I could barely see.

"Fuck no." she said. "I just did my hair."

Shallow bitch. "I can keep the rain off you, let's go."

Outside, I swung my arm in an arc and watched as the rain fell around me and Katherine. I'd headed towards her car, but she grabbed my arm.

"If we show up in your car, we're screwed. They only know mine."

Katherine had a black Mercedes and the thought made me think of Damon's car. I hadn't ever known what the name of his car was, but I knew Katherine's right away. Probably because my dad was a car freak, but never bothered to teach me any of it. I would have Damon tell me the make and model of his car when I saved him.

And I would save him.

Katherine slid into the driver's seat at the same time I slid into passenger seat and we shut or doors in unison. When we pulled out of the hotel parking lot, Katherine held out her daylight ring hand, looking expectant.

"What?" I asked.

"You owe me a cloaking spell."

"Does that really work?" I asked her.

"Does what work?" she asked.

"Insulting the intelligence of others." I said. "You haven't helped me yet, I can still see the hotel in the rearview. You'll get the spell when I get to Damon. Not before."

She rolled her eyes. "You witches and your deals."

Katherine was probably the only girl I knew who drove at the speed of light like Damon did. Maybe it was a vampire thing. Humans did move a lot slower than vampires, and I guess that included driving as well. Katherine moved through the streets like it was nothing, barely missing cars and cutting people off. She did it so smoothly it was almost like being in a car commercial.

Luckily for me, I'd been trained.

I could still remember Damon with the sun in his face and Nine Inch Nails blasting in the car. I loved the way he sang with the words and tapped his thumbs against the wheel. The way he moved through traffic like a skater through cones, never stopping or slowing down.

As we drove, the city began to fade out and the woods began to come in. the change was almost dramatic, Katherine looked at me.

"You're holding up pretty well." She said.

I shrugged. "I've been in the car with a vampire before."

"Damon drives crazy doesn't he?"

"How did you know?"

"We all do." She said. "Vampires may have forever, but we don't want to act like it. We've got places to go, people to kill. Who the fuck has time for traffic?"

It wasn't too far off from my own thoughts. "That makes sense."

"I'm going to ask you something, and I want you to be honest with me." she said.

"Coming from the queen of dishonesty, I don't know how to take that."

"Oh sweetie, I'm always honest." She said shrugging. "It's just that people have their own perception of the truth and feel violated when yours don't match theirs."

"That's not what you do." I told her.

"Oh really?" she asked. "And what is it that I do?"

"You manipulate," I said. "And you tell people what you want them to know instead the entire thing."

"I see an opening and I go for it, I play things close to the vest. Neither of it is lying."

"Maybe not outright, but it's still dishonest."

Katherine laughed. "Dishonest? I grew up in a time when changing your mind was dishonest. Keeping information to myself and making sure I'm not expendable is dishonest, it's self preservation."

"The fact that you would do anything, including lie, to preserve yourself says enough."

"Name one lie that I've told."

"You lie every time you pretend to be Elena."

"You're predictable." She said. "I never set out to be Elena, people just always thought I was. In a small town where only Elena looks like Elena, it's easy for any imposter to do it. Even you did."

She was right.

"People, including the ones that feel like they crave honesty, have to stop setting themselves up for any and everything. Elena and I are identical, yes, but if you look at us, you can see differences. If you listen to our speech and watch our mannerisms, you can tell us apart. People delude themselves into believing something and then grow upset when you go along with their imagination. I'm not a liar, I'm an actress. There's a difference."

It wasn't too far off from a lot of the things I'd been starting to realize. Katherine had a point. In Mystic Falls where families have connections both good and bad, everybody trusted everybody. We'd all been around each other, seen each other every day at least once a week for our entire lives. We knew who did what every Sunday and could set our watches by people. The stigmas that came with a family stuck with them until they left. In a town like Mystic Falls, it wasn't hard to lie to someone and be believed.

It wasn't hard to be taken for a fool.

And the way Katherine explained it, we did it to ourselves. Because everything was so small, we rarely got any outsiders. The outsiders that did come in could fast talk a local and make him believe anything. I don't think it was because we were stupid, my friends and I were shining examples of intelligence, but we were so dazzled by the newness of an outsider we'd do anything to suck them into our little town.

Katherine was absolutely right. She and Elena did have stark differences, and they should've tipped me off when I met her. The Elena I knew hated formal functions. After she'd done her hair that time, had John not been attacked, she'd have gone upstairs and washed and straightened it. Katherine had come to the Lockwood memorial wearing shoes, jeans, and makeup Elena would've never worn. But since we projected Elena onto her and she had an agenda, why wouldn't she have taken advantage.

She'd have almost been a fool not to.

"But we're off topic," she said. "Back to my question."

I sighed."Go for it."

"You slave yourself for all of them. Now Damon, I could understand you and Damon, but the rest of them? Why?"

"They're my friends." I said.

"I haven't met a friend yet who's given me as many nosebleeds."

"I wasn't under the impression you had friends at all." I said honestly.

She shrugged. "I have connections, not friends."

"The difference being?"

"You're upset when a friend lets you down." She said. "A friend is one of those things that's seen as irreplaceable. When they fuck you over, you don't know what to do, you can't think straight. You get rid of them, but you miss them constantly."

"A connection is just that. I see you when I need you and if you can't give me what I want, I'm onto someone who can. I'm not mad when I'm fucked over because I always have at least five more people who can do the exact same thing you can, and probably on a grander scale."

"That sounds like selfish networking."

"Because the average vampire is out for self." She said. "There is way too much out there that can kill us. Even though we're immortal, we can still die, it's just a little more difficult to kill us. We're constantly looking out for ourselves and if you can point me to a vampire that's been in the same place for longer than eight years, I can point out a dead vampire."

Damon told me he and Roman separated every seven years.

"You've never met an unselfish vampire," Katherine said. "Even Stefan. He can pretend that what he did with Klaus was for Elena, but it was just as much for him as it was for everyone involved."

"I do it because I love them," I said. "If I have the power to stop someone from hurting the people I love, why shouldn't I use it?"

"Because then people will take advantage of you." I said. "Frankly, I don't see why they even give you a break. You're powerful enough to do everything. I'd just give you some juice and let you keep working."

"I guess that's why we aren't friends."

She smiled. "I guess so."

Being in a car with Katherine gave me a lot to think about. Actually, having been involved with Damon gave me a lot to think about, but hearing it from someone who was just as much vampire, if not more, than the ones I knew, put a different spin on things.

The Salvatores were almost rare from what Katherine's told me. The brothers had gone through extreme feats to help and hinder one another, but they always came back together. Sometimes I wondered if they hated each other more than they let on, but underneath it all they loved each other. I didn't see too many guys trusting their brothers the way Stefan did and I didn't see too many guys going to the ends of the earth and back for their brothers like Damon did.

Of course Stefan had completely missed that last part when he decided to ask Jonas, but that's just me.

Speaking of. "Can I ask you something now?"

"Go for it?"

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why all of this?" I asked. "The Salvatores, the games…why?"

She shrugged slightly. It looked elegant and dismissive. "I was bored."

"Bored?" I said. "You ruin lives because you're bored?"

Katherine laughed, full and throaty. "I ruin lives? We're back to the honesty thing again."

"How so?"

"I loved the brothers," she said. "I still do. I won't sit here and pretend like you'll understand why I wanted both, because you won't. Only Elena can understand that."

I'd give her that. I saw nothing attractive about Stefan. Hadn't ever since I'd found about him.

"But I told you the time I came from Bonnie." She said, eyes darkening. "A time when half the things girls do now would equal the death of their entire family. A time when having a baby out of wedlock led to exile. I'd always had a thirst for life and a desire for freedom. When I found a life that allowed me to create all of the magic and fantasies that I wanted for myself, I took it."

"The brothers were more or less something I did because I was alone. I wanted companions. I wanted to be loved and adored and I wanted them to be fine with it. I thought I'd chosen men who could love each other as brothers more than they despised each others as rivals, I was wrong."

"You lied to Damon." I told her.

"I faked my death." She said.

"He thought you were in a tomb." I told her. "A tomb I had to open."

"You were the only one who could. It was sealed with Bennett magic." She replied. "And Stefan thought I was in the tomb as well, but he didn't come back for me."

She sounded a bit bitter about that last part. "Because Damon was in love with you."

"So was Stefan," Katherine smiled. "Here's the thing you need to know about love, Bonnie Bennett. It's all one encompassing thing, but people do it one of two ways. There are those like Stefan, who want to love equally. It's pure, it's gentle, it's gradual and exciting. You give what you get, you push and you pull, it's two sides to the relationship and if one side falters, then you break it off, suck it up, and move on with your life."

"And then," she continued, "there are those like Damon who want to love freely. Love for him is consuming and enrapturing. It's passionate, it's hard, it's fast and dangerous. He'll do anything for you, almost to the point of obedience because you take him away from himself and give him a freedom he never knew he had. He burns with the desire to be lost in the heart of another and he'll give you everything. The line can become obsession if you don't watch it. I didn't."

I heard Damon's voice in my head.

_I was…obsessive. In the worst kind of way._

If what Katherine was saying was right, then being in love with Damon Salvatore would prove to be something I wouldn't get away from. It would follow me everywhere and be a part of everything I did. I would see only him, he would see only me, and together we would be in this relationship defined by us and do any and everything possible for each other.

Good.

"And as far as the games you've mentioned, they're all information gathering tactics. See what one person knows, see if it matches up with everyone else is saying, and then before you've played every part on the board and you come out on top."

"Sounds like nefarious chess game."

"You're looking at the Queen."

It was another difference between Elena and Katherine, one I've probably mentioned before but became more obvious as I went on. Elena was the kind of girl people naturally did things for and told things to. She was the Mystic Falls beauty queen that everyone in our school kind of looked towards. She was the girl at the tops of all the boy's lists. Caroline was always second, and I was always third. People thought Elena gossiped, but mostly people just told her stuff. She put in a position to be this queen bee even though she'd never wanted to be.

Katherine was different.

She was Rose McGowan in Jawbreaker, devious and cunning. She wanted the attention and would make sure she got it. You couldn't get anything past her and, if you tried to, you failed so miserably and paid for it dearly. Her beauty was dangerous, exotic. She and Elena could walk down the same hall and she was the one you'd see first. Katherine put herself in the queen bee position because to be queen meant to know all. To know all meant to have power.

To have power meant no one could touch you.

"The things I do, the things that I've done, were me playing the hand I've been dealt. A man was going to bleed me dry and so I took matters into my own hands. Thinking I'm evil or a bitch for that is everyone else's problem, not mine."

"Running from Klaus doesn't make you a bitch, screwing with our lives does." I told her. "You didn't have to try to harm all of us, you didn't have to manipulate us. Running from Klaus means running from Klaus. It doesn't, nor has it ever, given you the right to cause ruin everywhere you go."

"You call it ruin, I call it survival."

"It's pathetic either way."

Her hand shot out and shoved my face into the window, holding it there. "Watch it, bitch."

The skin on her palm began to sizzle and smoke, causing her to jerk her arm back in pain. She came away with a burned and blistering hand that healed almost immediately.

"Don't think you can take me, bitch." I warned her.

She shook her hand and put it on the wheel. "Point taken."

We'd been driving for about fifteen minutes, when Katherine lifted the necklace from her dress. She held it up for a second, closed her eyes, and I could feel the magic radiating from it. It began to glow faintly with that feeling of power that made my skin crawl. She put the necklace on the dash and I watched as it spun in the direction we were supposed to go.

We were heading deeper and deeper into the woods when I felt it. The more Katherine drove the more everything started looking the same. Katherine was turning the wheel, but the car was going straight. I could see the necklace on the dashboard spinning, but the car only kept going straight. I had to remember twice where I was and twice who I was with. I tried to keep from jumping both times.

Only when the necklace stopped spinning and Katherine sighed did everything go back to normal.

We were driving on a pathway into the forest. It was a dirt road, the path rocky, and she and I bounced rhythmically with the car. I wanted to survey my surroundings, but honestly it wouldn't have made a difference. Everything, and I do mean everything, was trees. There was only the way we'd gone and the way we were going. Nothing else.

I did have enough sense to leave a bit of magic on the street, just so I could find it again.

Once we got off the dirt road I could see it. There was a house in the middle of these woods, a ranch style with a porch. It looked caught somewhere between wanting to be brick house and wanting to keep its old wooden structure. The place was hideous beyond measure, but then what had I expected really? If Damon was caught in a mansion, I'd be more suspicious.

"This house is fucking hideous." Katherine said, reading my mind. "Big on the inside, but fucking hideous."

Katherine was the only car parked in the yard, but I wouldn't be that optimistic. Sending my aura over this place proved that I was right. There were at least, _at least_, a dozen vampires I could sense all in different parts of the house. That nervous feeling built up in my stomach.

I killed it instantly.

Katherine got out of the car and I followed her. The rain was falling harder and harder, but luckily I remembered to put the arc over us. Katherine walked smoothly on the ground while I splashed and plopped in my boots. Somehow, in the midst of me going to save my kidnapped lover, I'd found a way to be insecure about my walk.

I killed that too.

Getting to Damon meant I had to be focused. Since I couldn't feel him in here which meant Katherine had either set me up or the bond was still muted. Either way, I had to stay on top of my game. One wrong move and I was done for. One wrong move and I could go missing like Damon and this would all be for nothing.

Katherine and I stepped on the porch and she stopped me. "I think you owe me something now."

"I don't know if Damon's here." I told her. "I told you it'd happened when you helped me. So far you've driven me to a house in the middle of nowhere. That's not help, it's a setup."

"People underestimate you a lot don't they?" she asked with a smirk.

"It's been known to happen a few times."

Katherine pulled out a key and let us in and I fought hard to keep my gasp down.

Blood, there was blood everywhere. It lined the walls it stained the carpet it trailed into other rooms. I say that because the place Katherine and I had just stepped wasn't a small room at all. It was like someone had taken red paint, attempted to paint the place and gave up.

Vampires looked at us when we passed and no0dded at Katherine. They looked at me like I was something foreign, a new delicacy that would splatter along the walls with everything else. They're eyes followed me, a few of them even getting up and following us. My boot crunched something.

A fingernail.

Katherine moved and I moved with her into the darkness, out of the dim bloody room and down a hall long hall way with doors and stairs leading into deeper darkness and into another big, but smaller than the one we'd left, room. We'd passed by a big kitchen, a living room, and another room I couldn't quite describe.

There were vampires in the room and they were all huddled around, various eyes looking us over when we were fully inside the room. The vampires who'd followed us moved from behind us and into the room with the rest of them.

Seventeen. There were seventeen vampires. All men.

In this part of the house.

What the fuck had I done?

"How's our guest?" Katherine asked.

"Talkative as usual," one said and they all chuckled. "We're thinking about cutting his tongue out next."

"We'll even give it to you, Katherine." Another one said. "We know how much you love a Salvatore."

Katherine smiled. "Not as much as I love Alex, of course."

Everything clicked.

_Find the dumbest grunt working for Klaus and make his dreams come true._

_Why, Ms. Bennett, he's an excellent planner you see. Very diligent in the coordination of his events. Since tonight is game night, Alex has decided to have a few friends and have a little fun._

Fucking Alex.

Somehow, someway, he'd found out what I felt for Damon. That's why he was here, that was his game. Tyler had been trying to warn me the night of the game, but he'd gotten weird and walked away. When I turned around, Alex was walking away as well. I'd missed the most important clues that could've gotten me sooner.

Shit.

Katherine spun towards me and put her hand out. "Pay up."

I grabbed her hand harshly and touched the ring. I whispered the cloaking spell and sealed it, but not before putting in a few spells of my own. Katherine had about a minute to prove me wrong or she'd pay. And pay big.

She took her hand back and stared at the ring as it glowed. The magic traveled along her skin and blew the ends of her hair. She closed her eyes feeling the magic and shook a little to bring herself back. A vampire marveled.

"Katherine, you brought us a witch?" he asked.

"Not you, silly, Alex. She's the one he wants."

How did I fucking know?

"You see Bonnie," she said. "There are people who play the game and there are people who make the rules. I saw it in your eyes yesterday that you loved Damon. I could feel it in my bones. I knew that you'd come to me, even more than Stefan would. You even stuck to the deadline, babes. Alex gets his witch and I," she admired her ring. "Am free of Klaus."

"Where's Damon?" I asked her, putting on a shaky voice.

"Out of this room, at the beginning of the hall, take the stairs to your left all the way down. Not that you'll get there anyway or make it out alive. But if you do, you'll make it to your lover."

"Aww she loves him," a vampire mocked.

Everyone laughed, including Katherine.

"Have fun." She said to the vampires. "Remember, he wants her alive."

I let Katherine get all the way to the door before I stopped her. "Katherine?"

"Yes dear?"

"There's something you should know," I said. "Something major."

She looked at me. "And what's that?"

"You're right, absolutely right." I told her. "There are people who play the game and those who make the rules, but as a person who's always on the run, I guess it'd be easy for you to lose sight of which one you really are."

She looked bored.

"I mean, you didn't really think I'd come to you by myself and offer you a way out without some kind of clause did you? Oh Katherine, no sweetie no. I always have a backup plan and you've just kicked it off. The ring I just spelled, it doesn't come off your finger."

"It never did." She said, eyes narrowing.

"But that was by your choice." I said. "Now, it just doesn't come off at all. And to make things even better, I've put a lovely little locator charm on it. The best part is, and you're really going to love this, I tied it to Klaus."

Katherine's eyes widened. "You didn't. You couldn't."

"Oh babes," I mimicked her voice perfectly. "You're his bloodline. It wasn't hard really, not even a little. You see, I put that in there in case you decided to betray me and low and behold. So now everywhere you go, everywhere you run, Klaus and I will always know where you are."

"I'll cut off the finger!" She shrieked. "I'll cut off the entire fucking hand!"

"Won't do you any good." I shrugged. "The magic is inside you now and it's so far deep that neither me, nor any other witch, can break it. It's tied into your nature sweetie, the part of you that thought it was okay to backstab me."

I'd learned the spell from Melissa's book. The entire time I was with Katherine, I chose my words wisely and spoke them with magic. Katherine had to _help _me in order for the cloaking spell to do what she wanted. The second she betrayed me, the three spells I'd woven together inside her ring and sealed my pact with her would cast.

"I'll kill them all!" she hissed. "All of your fucking friends! I will burn them alive and make you watch."

I sighed. "I guess it's lucky I thought of that too."

If looks could kill I'd be dead.

"Touch them, attempt to touch them, turn someone so they could touch them. It doesn't matter, take your pick. The second you try any ill will towards anyone I love or care about, you start walking towards Klaus. You will give yourself to him."

"You're bluffing." She tried again. "You aren't the powerful."

I cocked my head. "I don't have to be. I just needed to tie it directly to your nature for the spells to work. You asked for the spell three times and on the third time I cast it. The rule of Thrice applies in more ways than one. I know you feel it inside of you Katherine, I call see it moving in your aura."

Katherine looked about ready to kill me, but then she froze and her hand went to her arm. It traveled up her arm, to her neck to her face and in her hair. She trailed back down over her heart and finally stopping on her stomach, her core.

Just like my magic had.

"Tick tock, Katherine." I winked.

Katherine stumbled backwards and then sped from the house.

I turned back into the room and saw the eyes of seventeen very murderous vampires. I could feel the tension rising in the room, something big was about to happen. I looked at every one of them looking at me. it was all very quiet save for the rain pouring down. I opened my mouth to speak.

The first vampire lunged.

I swung my arm and he went flying in the wall next to me. Another vampire came at me and I summoned an invisible wall shoving it and him backwards into the other vampires who moved forward. They were coming at me quickly, I barely had time to react.

I turned around and ran.

A vampire flung himself into me and I felt the hot sting of fangs on my neck. For a second there was nothing but white hot pain, but I pulled myself out of it, remembering why I was here. The same heating spell I used on Katherine in the car came back up and the vampire tore his fangs away from my neck screaming. I sent my head back as hard as I could, catching him in the chin and rolling away from him. He looked at me, about to lunge again.

"_Ignis_!" I cried.

He burst into flames.

Vampires were coming down the hall like a crowd rushing towards a stage. I flung both my arms out towards them and watched them fall like dominoes. The object of this wasn't to kill vampires, it was to buy myself enough time to find Damon and somehow get the fuck out of here.

I'd almost made it to the beginning of the stairs when a vampire landed in front of me. Damon's training sprang back into my mind. I avoided the swing at my head and jumped at the leg that came at my feet. I dodged him artfully, like the cheerleader I was, and summoned a shielding arc like the one I'd used in the rain. His fist collided with it, sending painful vibrations down my whole arm, but I fought through it. I used the arc to flip him overhead and shove him into the vampires who'd recovered and were coming down the hall.

I threw myself into the staircase, barely grabbing the rail and keeping myself from falling. I summoned another invisible wall between me and the entrance just in time for a vampire to collide into it. It was like a beating at my mind, and I had to focus hard to keep it strong. Another vampire joined him and then another. I had to keep moving.

Down the stairs and into the darkness I went. There was nothing here, or at least it was so dark I couldn't see anything if there was. I spun around a couple of times and got an idea. I couldn't exactly summon a ball of light, Damon had warned me against that, but I could open my third eye. I concentrated on my breathing and blocked out the booming upstairs. I focused on myself and my magic. Open, open, open.

Suddenly I could see everything in the dark. I was in a passage way filled with bodies, which thinking about it explained the blood everywhere and the smells. I looked around for a way out and found one in the corner of the room to my left. It was a door that I shoved myself against twice and, when it wouldn't budge, I opened it magically. I ran through and closed the door, as I heard footsteps barreling down the stairs. I sealed the door shut with magic and put another invisible wall on the back of it.

That should buy me enough time.

Doors, doors, there were so many fucking doors. I couldn't feel Damon and he couldn't feel me. that was a bad combination in a situation like this. I opened one door and found two bodies. I opened another and found a mattress and discarded sheets. I opened another door and found a torture chamber.

I opened another and found a magic alter.

It was Jonas's, I recognized the magic. It was the power center of this house and the magic radiating from it was the reason I didn't quite know where I was. It was a mortar and pestle, an athame, and magic crystals organized in a specific order. As I studied it, I realized that it was probably the shielding for the house.

I grabbed the athame, the thing I was sure had stabbed Damon, and knocked everything off the alter. I used fire spells, tearing spells, anything I could think of to ruin this room. As soon as I did, I started to feel lighter. The magic in this entire house had been dense, but now it was gone and I could breathe clearly. When I was satisfied with everything, me and the athame left the room.

Door after door, nothing after nothing. There was no sign of Damon anywhere I could hear booming again. I was starting to panic, my third eye shifting in and out. I was blind, then I could see, then blind again. I fought to keep my concentration, but my emotions were taking over. What if Katherine had lied to me. What if I couldn't find Damon or he wasn't down here. What if-

No what if's. The bitch would pay.

The thought calmed me enough to keep my third eye steady and give me renewed vigor. There were two more doors I hadn't checked yet, and I just knew one of them held Damon. Please, please, please let Damon be in one of these.

I opened the door on my left and found three more vampires.

"My luck is not this bad." I groaned, slamming the door shut as the sped towards it. I locked that door so tight with magic, I felt the other invisible wall I'd put up, give and then there were footsteps in the distance. I looked at the other door, nodding to myself. This was it. He was in here, I would find him

And I did.

The blew open with my magic and Damon was tied to a chair. His head had fallen forward and that gorgeous hair of his hid his face. I shoved the door closed behind me and locked it with my magic. I didn't know how the hell I was going to get out of here with all this locking and sealing I was doing, but I'd find a way. I'd get us out of here.

If the vampire in the corner didn't kill me first.

He lunged at me, fangs bared. I had just enough time to raise my arm and block him as he sank his fangs past my jacket and into my arm. I shrieked and punched at him, but he didn't let go, eyes wide and crazed. When he finally did take them out, he backhanded me so hard I spiraled and went into a wall. My head connected on impact and stars exploded.

By some miracle, I didn't pass out.

The vampire was coming towards me and I was about to wave my arm, when I noticed something in the corner. When I sent my aura at it, I realized it was a bucket of vervain. In that second I knew how the hell I was getting out of this room. I just had to kill this bastard and get us out.

He grabbed me by my hair and pulled me to my feet. He snatched my head back so that my throat was bared.

"Who might you be?"

"Bonnie." I told him.

He sniffed me. "I could smell your magic on him as he bled. I could see into his mind as he thought of you, Bonnie. Come to save your familiar, have you?"

I shook my head as best I could. "No. I came for my boyfriend."

I shoved my knee into his groin and grabbed him by the throat. I sent enough magic into him to make blood pour from his nose and stream from his ears. his fingers left my hair as he fell to the ground, yelping and writhing with pain.

I went to my knees in front of Damon.

I could smell vervain coming off of him like a perfume and, when I touched him, I saw that his body was soaked with it. My vision got blurry as I tore open his shirt and saw the mangled, burned, mess, his torso was. His wrists and legs had been bound with vervain laced ropes. I tilted his head back to look at me.

"Damon?" I whispered.

His face was bloody, a gash on his cheek and his hairline. The hairline I loved. He hadn't fed since they kidnapped him, I could tell from his sallow coloring and the fact that his wounds hadn't healed. I had to get him out of here, it was everything now.

I took the athame and cut at the ropes freeing his legs first. Then I went to his wrists, stopping and slowing down so that I wouldn't hurt him. The second he was free, all of him fell forward and he groaned so low I could barely hear it, but I had.

He was still alive.

And heavy, very heavy. I pictured a feather in my head and tried to transfer that weightlessness into Damon. It worked, sort of, and I was able to hoist him up better than I had. He wasn't completely light, and I wasn't completely strong, but I could carry him in the same way maybe Caroline could. It was good enough.

I put his arm around my shoulders and got under his arm, lifting us both. The vampire on the floor had finally died, the screaming had gotten annoying, and I didn't have to worry about anymore surprise attacks. Except from the vampires on the other side of this door.

The big bucket full of vervain floated towards me. I only had one shot at this and I had to do it right. I focused the bucket of vervain and planted my feet as best I could holding Damon. I counted slowly in my head and, when I got to three, I used magic to fling the door open.

The vampires rushed in.

I used magic to empty the bucket of vervain into the air and used more magic to expand it. I watched as it hit every vampire that had entered the room, blinding them, burning them, incapacitating them. I moved Damon and I along the wall and as quickly as I could into the brightly lit hall. Someone had turned on the lights.

Vampires. More fucking vampires.

The door to the room Damon had been in swung shut and I sealed it with magic. I could feel myself getting tired, but tired would have to wait right now, I had shit to do. At the end of the hall there was a group of vampires all dressed in dark clothing. I expected to see Alex part the crowd and step through clapping his hands or something. It never happened, it was just a showdown.

One I didn't have time for. The vampires at the end of the hall agreed.

And they ran for us. Right at us. We were trapped between two doors I'd magically sealed and a wall at our backs. If I didn't come up with something soon, we were screwed on so many levels, I didn't even want to count. My eyes darted around as I looked for something, anything that could help us. I found nothing.

Except my feet.

It was a long shot, but I'd take it anyway. If Melissa's book had taught me anything, it'd taught me that if I focused hard enough I could do it. If I could see it in my mind and it didn't violate nature, dammit it could happen. I figured an earthquake was well within the realm of nature and as a witch I had control over the elements.

I lifted my foot and stomped.

The house shook and the vampires stopped for a second. Everyone looked at me and I looked at everyone. There was a moment of confusion and then they all started rushing me and Damon and giving me that trapped feeling again.

I lifted my foot and stomped again, harder this time.

Everything shook harder, including me and Damon. He groaned against me and his head fell on top of my own. The vampires had recovered and were running. I had one more shot. I raised my foot and stomped so hard pain shot up my leg.

The ceiling crumbled in and fell on top of the vampires. I could've cried with relief.

There was a hole in the ceiling and I needed to get through it. I remembered how I'd levitated in the forest with Jeremy and thought of it again. Bit, by bit, we came off the ground until I hit my stride in the spell and we were floating upwards. There was darkness above, but I didn't see or hear anything, and whatever was up there, I could take it-

We were jerked back.

A vampire had Damon by the leg just as my head cleared the hole. The good news was that there was nothing up there. The bad news was that if I couldn't get us up there in the next ten seconds, I wuldn't be able to hold this levitation anymore.

"Let go!" I screamed.

"Come back down here little girl," one of them snarled. "We want to play."

There were those who played the game, and those who made the rules.

I aimed my palm at the vampire's head and focused. "Release."

An impact so hard erupted from my palm and did two things simultaneously. The force was so strong it snapped the vampires neck backwards and at a sickening angle, and Damon and I were blasted through the hole in the ceiling and into the other room.

Which was mercifully, by the front door.

I hoisted Damon up and moved us towards the door. I had never been so glad to see trees in my entire life, but I had a new appreciation for them. Down the porch and into the woods, I moved us as quickly as I could. I felt around for that bit of magic I left on the street and found it faster than I thought. I closed my eyes and sent some of my magic away from here, beckoning it to bring something to us. With any luck, it would.

Damon was waking up. "Bonnie…"

"I'm right here," I said softly.

He groaned again, shaking his head and trying to get his bearings. "We're outside."

"Yes, we are." I said. "Can you walk?"

He tried and it ended up more so a painful limp. I'd take it.

Together, me and a barely conscious Damon moved through the woods and towards the direction of the street. We were deep enough now that we weren't visible, but vampires could smell and hear. I nodded to Damon and whispered for him to keep going, promising him that we were almost there. It wasn't until I saw a break in the trees and asphalt that I believe it. I closed my eyes and sent some of my magic away from here, beckoning it to bring something to us. With any luck, it would.

Damon and I had reach the edge of the woods when something hit us so hard from behind we went into the street.

"Filthy fucking witch!" The vampire spat at me. "You've made a mess of things."

"Do all of you talk like Hannibal Lecter rejects or just the ones I meet?" I asked.

I grabbed Damon as best I could and pushed us back further into the middle of the street. The vampire kicked Damon's leg and caused him to groan in pain. I got pissed.

"I wouldn't do that again." I said, voice low.

"What'll happen if I do, huh bitch?" he asked kicking Damon's leg again.

I was picking up speed. I was racing.

He kicked Damon's leg again. "You're nothing. You did all of this work just to come out here and die."

Another kicked, I shushed Damon.

I was roaring. I was flying.

"Stupid little bitch." The vampire continued. "We're going to take you and your fucking familiar inside and feed him just enough so he can watch us pass you around. And when Alex gets back, he can have you for whatever the fuck he wants."

I was coming. I was almost here.

He kicked Damon's leg again. "Who knows, maybe when Alex is done, he can-"

My car rammed smack into the vampire, sending him over the hood, the roof, and on the trunk. When the vampire hit the ground and my car screeched to a halt, his body was twisted so bad, I wasn't worried about him getting up anytime soon.

The back doors to the car opened and, as fast as I could, pulled Damon in through one side. My car was so small it pissed me off, but I managed to get us both inside. I closed my door and had just reached over to close Damon's door when I saw vampires, bunches of them, coming through the woods and heading for us again.

There was no time for me to find my keys or get in the front seat.

I sent my magic through the car. "Drive!

The car reversed when I thought it, running over the vampire it hit, then spun around and sped forward. Out of the back windshield I could see vampire running towards us, speeding with that inhuman quickness. I pressed my hand against the glass and narrowed my eyes.

A wall of fire appeared between them and us.

I watched as a few vampires burned and most of them stopped. It wasn't until I couldn't see any of it anymore that I actually focused on what was going on in the car. Damon's head was in my lap and he was coughing, groaning. Even with him right here in front of me I couldn't anymore feel him than I could yesterday.

He looked so weak.

I brought up my left arm and trailed a finger across it, opening a cut on my wrist. I held it to his lips.

"Drink Damon," I told him. "You have to drink."

His lips latched onto my wrist and I bit my lip to fight off the pleasure and pain I was feeling. When my lip wasn't enough for Damon's feeding. I clenched my teeth together and exhaled through my nose. I could do this for him. I would do this.

Damon screamed and coughed up blood.

The whole thing happened so quickly, I jumped and the car swerved. When I made sure the car was back on the road, I looked down at him. The blood, the little that he'd drank had been coughed back up. I healed the wound on my wrist and tried to think of what could've been wrong. I needed to get him to Alaric; he would know what to do. I closed my eyes and sensed for him, he was at Elena's.

I looked down at Damon, the guy I hadn't seen for days. If admitting that I loved him to Katherine was something I said, looking down at him now, it was something I knew I meant. I'd gone into hell for him, to save him, and looking at him now I realized I didn't care about or complications or his past. I would be with him my way and look at it that way.

If he survived.

When I looked up, we were in Mystic Falls. When I looked at my speedometer, I was going the max. A part of me was thankful that we'd gotten back as quickly as we did and I'd filled my tank. The other part wondered where the hell the cops were.

My car pulled into Elena's driveway and I was screaming. "Alaric! Alaric, help!"

The front door burst open and Alaric and Stefan saw my car and came running. Alaric helped me out while Damon grabbed Stefan, lifting him easily and taking him inside. Alaric was trying to look me over, but I waved him off and followed behind Stefan.

Inside, everyone was there. Caroline, Elena, and Matt were all looking between Damon's body and me in shock. Stefan shoved the coffee table out of the way and put Damon on the floor. Elena and Caroline gasped when they saw his body. Matt was looking at me.

I'd talk to him later. "He isn't keep down blood."

Alaric nodded. "Stefan said he was stabbed. Where?"

"His back."

They rolled Damon over a little and lifted his shirt. The stab wound is his back was black and oozing and putrid, causing everyone except me to put their hand over their noses. They smelled stink, but I could smell the magic. The magic I knew and recognized.

Jonas.

"Move Stefan." I said and, surprisingly, he did. "Go get blood bags. Several of them."

He was gone.

I opened my third eye and saw that this wound was the block and the reason I couldn't see Damon. It was infused with a kind of magic Jonas had used to take my magic that time, and it was being used specifically to keep me out.

No. not this time.

I put my hand over the wound and pushed at the magic, feeling it resist me. I shoved and pushed and pulled, trying to get it out of Damon. Nothing was working. Damon was groaning and coughing again, spitting up blood.

"Bonnie…" I heard a voice in my head. "You've been bad."

"Jonas." I seethed into the air. "Undo this."

My friends were looking around, frantically, trying to see where he was.

"Why should I?" he asked in my thoughts.

"Do it." I said through gritted teeth. "Now."

"Embrace the darkness and I will." He said.

"I swear Jonas, I will kill you." I said. "Undo this _now_!"

"You're not in any kind of position to threaten me!" Jonas shouted through my mind. "You will do what I say or he will die!"

"No!" I hissed.

"Very well then."

Damon's back arched and he screamed with pain, even louder than he had in the car. He began to convulse, to seize, right there in front of me. I tried to touch him but he was shaking so violently, I couldn't. I was crying and screaming before I could stop myself.

"I'll do it!" I screamed. "I'll do it!"

"You'll do what?" Jonas asked. "Say it."

"I'll embrace it." I cried. "The darkness. I'll embrace it."

"Bonnie, no!" Matt shouted.

Jonas was sending me spells to say in my head as I watched Damon stop shaking. I'd stopped sobbing, but my tears were still flowing, Damon looked worse than he had before, face in the blood he'd coughed up. I sniffed and wiped my eyes, settling myself into a calm.

"Say the words Bonnie." He said. "Chant them."

I opened my mouth, to say them, but then I thought about something.

This was the same man who, at one point, wanted all my friends to suffer. He was working for Klaus and he had some type of agenda. This man wasn't looking out for my own good and he definitely wasn't doing this for no reason. It'd be my luck for me to embrace this darkness he spoke of and end up dying in the process.

"No." I said.

"No?" he questioned. "Let's see what we can-"

My eyes went to the ceiling and I left Elena's house. On my bed, Melissa's book flipped open. I begged for it to show me what I needed to do, how to cure Damon. There was nothing in the familiar section, but there was some in the witches section. There was a spell, one I found quite quickly to remove another witch's power. It require human contact, just like Jonas had done to me that night, but that wasn't what I was after.

I was going to remove his power from Damon. And he was going to feel it.

"_Phasmatos Tribum, Exum Sue, Redem Su Pas Quo!_"

Damon's body jerked.

"What are you doing?" Jonas asked. "Embrace the darkness."

"_Phasmatos Tribum, Exum Sue, Redem Su Pas Quo!_" I said harsher, louder.

"Don't make me do this, Bonnie." He said.

I chanted louder and louder, harder to the point of screaming. Jonas was chanting his own spell, but he was in my mind and I had control. I boxed his consciousness in and held it while I unbound his magic. I could feel it unraveling like a thread in a shirt, leaving Damon's body and dissolving in the air.

I was rocking back and forth, my hand on Damon's wound, pushing my magic and summoning it from the earth. Jonas's voice was becoming more alarmed the more focused I got, and he started chanting his spells at me, but they had no effect here.

He had no voice here.

The furniture in Elena's house was moving towards me, the trees outside swayed with my rocking. I would rid Damon's body of Jonas, I would make it so he never touched what was mine again. Damon was my vampire, my fucking familiar, my love, and I t was damn sure time for me to win this.

"I win." I whispered, shoving my magic into Damon's wound and snapping Jonas's spell like a twig.

Jonas screeched in my mind and, when I could see inside his, I saw that he was convulsing on the floor where ever he was. I pulled my mind away from him and bound him from entering it again. I rocked back and forth and healed the wounded bond between me and Damon. I could feel him flooding into my mind, his pain and his weakness. I could feel that he couldn't walk because they'd out wood in his shins.

They floated out of his legs the second I thought it and dissolved into nothing.

He was getting stronger, getting better as my magic poured into him. Moving by himself and laying on his back. He gasped and his eyes shot open air he didn't need filling his lungs as he longed for the taste of it. Stefan had gotten back, and was soaking wet, with a small bag filled with blood bags. He tossed one and Damon caught it out of mid air.

And drained it dry.

I stopped rocking and watched him as he went through them all. One after another he consumed them leaving them flattened on the living room floor. His eyes darted around to everybody, seeing them and assessing. He was wild and feral, he was a vampire come to life again.

On his last blood bag, the tenth one. He looked at me.

We held each other's gazes as he sucked down the blood. I watched as his vervain scorched body healed itself to the ivory perfection I adored. His eyes regained their luster and his hair did the same. His breathing slowed to a stop when he realized he didn't need the air. He finished with the blood blag and tossed it over with the others.

He licked his lips and looked at me.

"Bonnie." His voice was deep and back with a vengeance.

"You rescued me?"

Out of nowhere I found modesty. "If you could call that rescuing."

He nodded. "I call it that."

"Then yeah, I did."

Damon sat still for three more seconds, and then he was on his feet.

His arm shot down and grabbed my wrist, pulling me upwards. His strength had come back full force and it pulled me so hard I floated and kicked a little before I landed on the floor. He was standing close to me, not the close I loved, but the close he always got to someone whenever he challenged them or had a point to prove.

He yanked me to him, into his chest. "Thank you."

And then we were gone, speeding out of the Gilbert house and into the rain.

**A/N: You guys alive?**

**So I have to confess, I had so much fun writing this chapter. It's the longest one I've written, even longer than chapter sixteen. In all honesty, I hope it's better than chapter sixteen. I trust you guys to let me know. You will won't you?**

**Again, I urge a lot of you to go back and read the end of Game Part I if you didn't understand. Bonnie played the game and she won, sort of, and right now, I want her to have that victory. I'm so happy for my girl I could do a little dance. Rave with me Effervescent Fam. RAVE. WITH. ME. **

**The story isn't over. Now that Bonnie and Damon are a couple, they have other things to worry about. People finding out is one thing (and before anyone gets all uptight, the reveal will be big, I've gotten you this far right?) but there are THREE people who know for certain. If you read over the last three chapters, you can definitely figure it out. Alaric, Katherine, and _**

**I'm loving this, you know that right?**

**The threat of Bonnie's darkness is still there, only it won't be so Jonas centered when the issue comes to pass. She's still got Jonas, Alex, and a host of other shit to deal with and she will get to them in due time.**

**Also, there is STILL Original drama to deal with. You didn't think I let that go did you? Bad reader! *slaps hand* You should know better. It's still kicking off in a major way and with May being around the corner for our young Heroine…she's got a lot on her plate.**

**I hope you guys approved of my music choices. I hope that Bonnie's rescue of Damon was smart and action packed instead of contrived and unrealistic. Bonnie couldn't go in there and go all Red Sonja on everyone because that's not what she was taught to do. She was supposed to defend herself (she did) and her goal was to get Damon out (she reached). **

**I'm so proud of her you guys. I've seen her do this in my head for so long, but now she's here and…yes. Just yes.**

**Review, review, review, review. I expect some pretty in depth shit this time guys lol. I want to know everything you liked, even if you can't put into words (here's hoping you can). I love you guys majorly. Get back to me okay?**

**I saw a picture of Tyler Hoechlin online in a suit and a shaved face. Be still my beating heart. Dydia! I'm coming for you baby! **


	29. Innocent

**A/N: Song recs for this chapter would have to be Kill and Run by Sia, and if I think of anything else it'll be at the author's note at the end. Please listen to the song. I like it and I think it fits the tone of this chapter amazingly. Do it for me, won't you? Mature audiences because things happen in this chapter and you need to accept it. **

**Are you ready?**

Chapter 29: Innocent

Damon hadn't said anything since he'd brought us to the boarding house, though the intense looks he gave me probably said more than his words ever could. There were seconds where I looked at him and saw the sole focus of his blue eyes on me, looking me over and flashing every so often.

The both of us needed showers and since the boarding house had separate bathrooms, it was convenient. Damon led me into the room I'd stayed in what seemed like an eon ago, and left me to my own devices. I watched his back as he left the room and jumped slightly when I heard his door close.

I tried not to take it personally, he had just been through major trauma, but I still thought I deserved more than to be led into a room and left. I mean sure, he'd thanked me for saving his life, but I'd done some pretty crazy things today. Couldn't I at least be kissed?

Were we still a couple?

Of all the things I'd done today, sentencing Katherine to a lifetime of misery and breaking into a vampire nest so big it scared me thinking about it, I picked now to be nervous. I shifted my feet and folded my arms against the cold I was feeling. My clothes were still clinging to me from all the rain and sweat and probably blood, and I stood there shivering in my confusion.

I stopped myself twice from opening the door and storming into his room. I didn't know what I'd been expecting after I'd rescued him, mainly I'd just been hoping he was alive for me to expect anything, but I didn't think I could be frozen out again. I could understand the things he'd been through, but I still upheld us. I wondered if he did.

I ended up peeling off my clothes in the bathroom and shaking my head at the bruises and the fang marks on my neck. It had been the second time in weeks that a vampire had bitten me. I needed to get better at not letting them so close.

In the shower, I allowed myself to finally feel the relief I'd been trying to avoid. I'd managed to get Damon out and, somehow, managed to save him. I'd taken Jonas's spell off Damon, so I could hear and feel what he was thinking and I had to admit that having Damon as background noise was so comforting I could've gone to sleep.

After scrubbing my body clean and washing my hair, I stepped out of the shower and grabbed two of the thick black towels and wrapped them around my body and hair. When I stepped out into the bedroom, a couple of things had changed. The first was that the bedroom door had closed, which I hadn't done. The second was that my wet clothes that I'd left on the floor, including my boots, were missing.

The third was the black shirt folded on the bed.

It was simple and warm, and I saw nothing else I could put on. After I finished drying off, I pulled the shirt over my head and slipped my arms into it. It was clearly one of Damon's shirts, way too big for me and making me look smaller than I actually was, but when I saw myself in the mirror, I loved it on me. I should wear black more often.

It also smelled like him. He was never getting this shirt back.

And now I was confused again. Did I go to him? He'd brought me in for a reason, right? I shifted my weight on my feet again and looked around the room I'd seen plenty enough times. Nothing changed and nothing was interesting. I folded the towels I'd used and put them back in the bathroom. I cleaned up the water I'd trailed on the floor. I looked at myself in the mirror over and over again and I-

Wait. Hold on.

Looking at myself again now, I realized something. I was the one who'd gone in and saved him, not the other way around. It was me who got Katherine off our asses for good and I'd finally one upped Jonas. I had a feeling there was a consequence resulting from that, but for the life of me, I couldn't care what it was. The point was that if I could stomp hard enough to cave in a roof, then I could stop shifting my weight. If I could go through hell and beyond for him, I could go down the hall.

It was now or never.

I was moving out of the room and walking down the hall at my normal pace. On the inside I was nervous as hell and on the outside it was just another day. The more my feet thudded towards Damon's closed door, the more intense the butterflies in my stomach got. I swallowed it all and closed my eyes. I was going to see him, I was going to talk to him. I didn't bother knocking.

When I opened the door, Damon was waiting for me.

And I say that only because of the look in his eyes when I opened the door. It was expectant. I'd spent enough time around him to know the difference and he was definitely waiting for me. He was sitting on his bed in black pajama bottoms and he looked like moonlight amongst the darkness of his bed sheets. I closed his door quietly and stood there. The both of us looked at each other and neither of us spoke. I was mesmerized by how beautiful he was after not having seen him in days. I was wondering if he was thinking the same about me.

"Come here." He said.

It was all he had to say. I was moving towards him like I'd walked down the hall.

I climbed onto the bed and sat with my legs crossed. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do other than stare at him now. He looked so…I couldn't really describe it. He'd always been made up of colors, but it was like I was seeing him for the first time, and maybe I was. Seeing him while I loved him was like seeing him the way he was supposed to be seen.

I had been blind all of those other times.

"Hey." He said.

"Hi."

"That shirt looks good on you."

"I like it."

"It's yours."

"You weren't getting it back."

He smirked and then it fell. "If I asked you to, would you be honest with me?"

I started to ask him had I never not been honest with him, but I didn't. "Yes."

Damon nodded and looked at me, pulling me in with his eyes. "What happened?"

"Jonas and Alex took you." I said. "The night of the game."

"How long ago was that?" he asked.

"Four and a half days."

Damon's jaw clenched and I felt his anger rise. I reached out and touched his hand.

"Katherine was there." He said. "Alex is-"

"The dumbest grunt." I finished for him. "I know."

"She watched." Damon said. "She watched while they tortured me."

Fucking bitch.

"When they weren't looking she fed me blood," he said. "It was the only kind I could keep down. I think it was poisoned."

"It was magic." I told him. "The blood they fed you was cursed by Jonas. It was what kept me from finding you."

I'd made the connection while we were in the backseat of the car. Damon had looked horrible, but he had still looked like himself. Vampires usually couldn't suffer trauma _and_ not feed. They'd desiccate quicker if I wasn't mistaken. It also made sense for them to keep his supply limited to what only they could give him. Had Damon been able to, I'm pretty sure he'd have drained a vampire or five.

"How did you find me?" He was looking at me again.

"Katherine."

"Where is she now?" He asked, hate rising.

"I took care of it." I told him. "For real this time."

"What does that mean?"

"It means we don't have to worry about her anymore."

Damon cocked his head at me. "Tell me."

When I did, Damon's face was blank, but I saw the emotions go through his eyes and felt them in my mind. The urge to snap her neck was still there, but had lessened significantly. The revenge he'd always wanted from her didn't go as he'd planned, but it was successful none the less.

The last emotions were appreciation. Gratitude. Admiration.

"So you sentenced her to death pretty much?" Damon's smirk was back.

"Not really," I said. "I'm not that heartless. But you don't double cross me. I was in a situation where I didn't know if I would live or die and she sold me out. So I did the same."

"She'll be waiting Bonnie." Damon said with a smirk.

"So will I."

Damon's pride filled me and I fought not to smile.

He had that serious look on his face again. "Did the others come with you?"

I stopped to think about it, but then I told him. He'd asked me to be honest. "No."

"Why not?"

Because Stefan was so set on trying to keep Elena safe that he was naïve enough to think he could pull off everything. Because Elena, despite having everything done for her by all of us at one point or another, wanted to back up Stefan and support him in something she felt he knew. Because Caroline had allegiances to the both of them and would do what they thought was best.

"They kept Jonas busy," I lied. "Someone had to make sure he wouldn't just show up while I was there."

It was the first lie I'd ever told him, and I hated it.

But I couldn't let Damon believe his brother hadn't done everything possible to save him. It would be a slap in the face to everything he'd ever done for Stefan, Elena, or any of the others, and Damon would take it hard. So hard, in fact, that he would pull away.

It wasn't a secret to me that while Damon was an important part of our group, he knew how everyone felt about him. And while he'd gone out of his way to save lives and help and do the things that had really offered him some kind of redemption, he'd always be seen as the bad Salvatore, the one who was often a wild card. If he found out that I was the only one who did everything, from the planning to the finding to the rescuing, he would be crushed.

And he would leave.

"They let you go by yourself?" he asked. "That's not Stefan's style."

"They had a plan," I told him, relieved to be honest with him again. "I didn't stick to it."

He rolled his eyes. "You still don't listen."

I held his hand with both of mine. "I usually don't when you're involved."

That feeling, that warm pleasant feeling flowed through the bond. "And so you went to Katherine."

"She was my ticket into hell." I said.

"And you fought all those vampires."

"Kept them detained more or less, but I killed three."

"And you found me."

"It took me long enough."

"You carried me from the house." He went on.

"I cast a spell so you'd be lighter."

"You gave me your blood," he said. "You never do that."

"It didn't work anyway. You were allergic to me."

"You got me back to safety."

"If we're counting Elena's house as safe."

"And you healed me."

"I took Jonas's magic out of your body." I told him. "It was making you sick."

Damon looked at me. "You did all of that for me."

"I…" I stopped myself and then stared my fears in the face. "I love you."

Damon and I stared at each other again, silence falling between us. I could hear the rain outside beating against the glass of his window and the rumble of thunder as the storm raged overhead. His room was bathed in that weird light that comes from overcast skies that covered everything in a dark gray. My heart was hammering in my chest from the admission of my feelings, and I realized that he could probably hear it.

He was on me in the blink of an eye.

I lost my senses when he kissed me, everything turning into Damon. I closed my eyes and our lips worked furiously against each other and he was pulling me onto his lap. I held him as close as I could as I wrapped my legs around him and he pulled them tighter. He kissed me like I was the last girl in the world and held me like I was the thing tethering him to the universe. We grabbed at each other and groped, trying to find ways, any way, for us to get closer to each other.

And there was only one way really.

I got off of Damon and moved to the center of his bed. He looked at me with a confused look for a second, but I nodded at him to be patient with me. I knew what I wanted, had visualized it several times, but I had never thought it would be like this. I didn't know that it would be with him. I didn't know that love was this warmth, this courage that made my hands shake with anticipation and curiosity and fear. That I wanted to feel and be with all of him.

I didn't know that I'd be this certain.

I pulled at the edges of the shirt and pulled it off, tossing it somewhere behind me. I took off the small gold chains that Grams and my dad had gotten me for different accomplishments in my life. I pushed my hair behind my ears, not using it to hide the nervousness I felt. I inhaled and exhaled with my decision. Damon was in front of me, stroking my hair.

"The no sex stuff isn't going to stick if you're naked." He said, smirk small.

I shook my head slightly. "I don't want it to anymore."

Damon's eyes darted over me for a second, then realization kicked in. "Bonnie, no."

What? "Damon, I mean it."

"You don't have to do this because of today." He said. "You still have time."

Time for what? "I'm not doing this because of today," I told him. "I'm doing this because I love you."

That warm feeling exploded through my mind again. "Bonnie you-"

"Know what I'm doing." I finished for him. "Well sort of."

Damon was shaking his head.

"Is Damon Salvatore turning down sex?" I joked nervously. "I didn't think I'd see the day."

He wasn't saying anything. He was scaring me.

And that was it, I was scared again. The warmth that I'd felt was over and the courage had turned to regret. Maybe what happened at the compound had been too much for him. Maybe all of it was too much for him. I shouldn't have come in here and thrown myself at him like that. I should've given him time.

Maybe he didn't love me.

That last thought was enough to make me reach shakily for the shirt and try to pull it back on. I'd just found the tag which let me know which side was backwards, before Damon snatched the shirt from me and ripped it out of my hands. I felt exposed more than I felt nude. I tried to cover myself but he held my arms.

"Stop it," he said. "You know that's not what that meant."

I didn't know anything. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize to me again."

I didn't know what else to say.

"I'm not a great person." He said. "I'm selfish, I'm impulsive. I'm the worst kind of person Bonnie. I've killed, I've done so many terrible things."

He could stop now, I didn't want to hear this.

"Look at me." he said.

I didn't want to.

He tilted my chin up to where I didn't have a choice. "I don't deserve this kind of happiness."

I looked at him as his fingers fell away from my chin and he blinked at me, eyes serious. I could see the oceans of sadness that they were, I was reminded of my father's quote. I thought I'd been swimming through my own sadness when everything happened, but Damon saw his every day. He truly didn't believe certain things about himself.

"If…" I started. "If I told you I accepted you, would you believe me?"

Damon didn't say anything.

"I know what you've done, I know who you've been." I said. "I've been there for a lot of it. I get why you would believe that you don't, but trust me enough to know that you do. You've done terrible things but who hasn't?"

"You." He said. "You're innocent."

"And I've a bitch, a prude, and exhibited plenty of other bad qualities. I've been scared and a liar and a killer and a thief. All of which I did just hours ago. No one's perfect Damon and I'm not looking for you to be. I know who I love. I know why I love him."

He was staring at me.

"I…" I said. "I get it Damon, I understand. I know what it's like not to be happy. To have everyone look at you like they don't know what's going to set you off. To be the loneliest person in a room full of people you'd risk anything for. I understand you. It's who we are. It's we'll always be."

I touched his face. "I almost lost you today. I never really considered it an option, but it could've happened. I can't keep assessing your past and wondering if you're right for me. I can't keep thinking about if I'm making a mistake or if I really want this. I want you and that's what I'm certain of. More than my changing fears and my uncertainty, Damon, I want you. I deserve you. And you deserve me. If I'm happiness for you, and I know you are for me, we deserve this."

He was closer to me know, hands on my hips.

"You're everything to me." He whispered.

"So are you."

Our lips touched and that courage came back full force. Damon shifted us and I was laying down, he was positioned over me. He kissed me softly and went down my body, paying attention to my nipples and kissing my belly button as he went further. It wasn't as lust filled and experimental as it was in charm city, it was passionate and adoring.

Damon's tongue touched me and I shivered, moaning into the silence of his room. His tongue flicked over me quickly, lips pulling and sucking and applying the right amount of pressure everywhere. He held my hips gently and kept me from moving away from him. He put my legs on his shoulders, pulling me closer and teasing me a little. My hands went into his hair again as he moaned into me, sending vibrations all over me and pushing me closer to the edge.

With each flick of his tongue, the fire inside of me raged. It spread through my body and tingled in my finger tips. My legs were shaking as I felt the orgasm coming, quick like it always did when he did this, and could feel my hips rotating with his tongue.

I moaned loudly when I came, shivering and trembling.

Damon kissed his way back up my body and kissed me deeply, letting me taste myself. The sensation of his tongue moving against mine and his hands on my body and him on top of me, gave me all the things I'd never known I wanted. This was why they told you to wait.

He pulled back and slid off the pajama bottoms, revealing the hard length of his desire and kicking the bottoms off the side of the bed. He was back over me in seconds, kissing me again and pressing his forehead against mine. Seeing his eyes like this, over me with this kind of intensity, I never realized how vibrant he was. How pink his lips were and the true blue of his eyes. He was better than any painting I'd seen, more amazing than any guy I'd ever laid eyes on. Nothing compared to him. His hand was between my legs, stroking me and sending pleasure jolts through me. I felt my hips moving to the hypnotic rhythm of his fingers and the stirrings of pleasure beginning to rise again.

"Will it hurt?" I asked nervously against his lips.

"Not the way I do it."

He kissed me again, along my jaw to that spot between my neck in my ear and taking his time. The way he kissed me there, it was like I could feel it in places I hadn't before. One place in particular that I had never felt it before. Feeling Damon's lips and teeth on that spot made my legs quiver and that pleasure move between my legs like waves lapping at a shore. My fingers were so deep in his hair, I was scratching his scalp. I was breathing faster, with the rhythm of his tongue.

He entered me.

I expected pain, but got discomfort. As Damon pushed himself deeper inside of me, lips and tongue still moving at that spot, I realized I'd been nervous for nothing. While I still wanted him to move slow, I spread my legs further to give him more access to me. His fingers left from between my legs and his forehead was back on mine. His eyes held my own, or tried to at least, as he eased himself out of me slowly and filled me again. I gasped when he went deeper this time, trying to stay focused as he kissed my bottom lip.

"Relax," he told me.

Damon eased himself out again and went deeper again, earning a moan from me. I had tried to keep eye contact to show him I was with him, but the slowly growing pleasure and the discomfort were starting to mingle. His hips began to pick up a rhythm, continuing what he was doing, until I could take all of him. I could feel that he was still watching me, gauging what he was doing by my expressions, and kissing me as he moved.

The more he moved, the more the pleasure came and the discomfort faded. His rhythm had quickened and my moans were more frequent, urging him on and sounding out my pleasure. I begged him with the locking of my ankles around his waist and the arching of my back to go deeper. I wanted more. His arms slid up my back, pulling me closer as his hands dug themselves into my hair.

When I opened my eyes, I could see Damon's had gotten lower and he was biting his lip. His forehead was still pressed to mine and the blue of his eyes peeking from beneath his lashes turned me on. His nipples were hard and his muscles were clenching in tune with our bodies. For the most part his upper body was still and it was his hips doing all the work. The hips the moved back and forth, out and deep, pushing and pulling my pleasure in ways I couldn't describe.

He circled his hips.

It brought a moan from the both of us when I joined him slowly. It wasn't hard to catch his rhythm, but I couldn't believe how amazing it felt when I did. I leaned up and kissed him and he welcomed me, shoving his tongue against mine and massaging it. We moaned into each other's mouths as our hips caught up with each other, the rhythm between us like a song only the both of us knew.

His arm came from my back, trailing down my own arm and lacing his fingers with mine.

I didn't have time to focus on it because Damon's rhythm changed again, and this one deeper than the others, way deeper. The strokes he was doing inside of me touched something I hadn't even known existed. He was on his knees and pulling out and going back in so deep, I could see the top of his butt as he moved. My body jerked upward with his thrusts, my moaning turning to shouting. Damon was moaning louder moving faster and faster.

Soon I was consumed by all of it. I could hear the slapping of our thighs, the smacking of him in my wetness, and the moans we made. I could feel his skin against mine and feel his body moving against mine in other places. Breathing was becoming harder to do as every breath I took turned into a scream. Somewhere we'd moved from slow and easy to deep and fast. Damon plunged inside of me so deep he'd catch my breath, and I would meet him with my hips.

The pleasure I always felt when he went down on me was beginning to build in a bigger way. My toes began to tingle and my vision began to blur. Damon was giving me more and more, pushing me towards the edge and holding me there while he that spot on my ear.

He pushed me over the edge.

I came moaning and screaming into the silvery gray of the storm outside and hear thunder rumble the windows. Damon pumped his hips faster and faster moving in and out of me and keeping the pleasure going. His forehead was back on mine again, eyes holding mine as he told me to look at him.

"I love you." He said, pushing into me as his hand reached up and held my face. "I love you."

"I love you too." I told him, my voice soft.

Damon's eyes closed as he pumped and his jaw went slack. I moved my hips with his as his hand went to my throat and he crushed his lips down on mine. He moved his hips a couple more times and shivered, shuddering with his orgasm and moaning deep into my mouth. He pumped his hips a few more times, more slowly, and then he stopped as I held him close to me.

He kissed me and moved from on top of me, grabbing the covers of his bed and pulling them over us. He pulled me to him, his hand going between my legs as he kissed me again, fingering me with the same rhythm of his lips as they moved against mine. My thighs hadn't stopped trembling from the sex yet, and already he was trying to send me towards another orgasm. I wouldn't stop him.

He stopped himself.

"You okay?" he asked me huskily.

I nodded slowly. Truthfully I was better than okay.

My mind was still reeling as I came back to myself, thinking about what he and I had just done. I'd never felt so alive, so present in a moment before. I was so aware of everything about myself and the way he made me feel and the way everything looked. Damon was tracing invisible lines on my hip as he kissed my forehead, moving us so close together he had to pull my leg over his just so it'd be possible. I couldn't complain.

For awhile, we just lay there in silence. I didn't know how long it was and I didn't care. Occasionally he would link his fingers with mine and kiss my hand and I would lean up and kiss his neck. Neither of us said anything as the rain outside pounded against the window and his room got darker. I had the same feeling I had the morning I woke up in Charm City. I realized then, that it wasn't that place that gave it to me, it was Damon.

And on some level, I'd always known that. That feeling of being free and experiencing things I never thought I would had always come from him. He'd always been the source of it all. From my magic, to me growing as a person, to me pushing myself to limits I'd never thought I'd reach. If someone had asked me in January would I be in love with him in April, I would've laughed in their faces.

Roman had been right we'd told me to go for it. Now that I had, I understood it all. There was no point in focusing on what had happened in either of our pasts, our pasts with each other didn't even matter. I was with someone who'd given me more than my own friends had. The both of us had been bad to each other on occasion, but we'd come through it and we were here.

I loved him. And he loved me.

It wasn't until I had this love that I realized how lonely I'd been before, how alone I wasn't anymore. All this time I'd longed for someone to understand me and my thoughts and my wants, and the person I least expected to had done so. He knew my frustrations and my annoyances because he had the same ones. He gave and gave and gave and no one tried to understand him.

If I looked back on it, a lot of the stuff he'd done when he'd first come to Mystic Falls made a lot of sense. If Damon somehow got trapped in a tomb and couldn't get out, I'd do any and everything necessary to get him out. I'd already lied to my friends, skipped school, and did a bunch of other crazy feats. The things that he'd done, the things that he'd gone through…I don't excuse it, but I can understand it.

"You're doing that thing again." he said into my hair.

"I haven't said anything."

"I can feel you thinking them though." He said.

"I'd been wondering if you could."

He shrugged. "It's more intense now, but I don't know if it's because all of the magic you used to get Jonas out of me or because I hadn't felt you in days."

"How so?"

"It's like I can almost read your thoughts." He said. "Like I knew what you were thinking about, but I didn't know what you were thinking about them."

"It's you most of the time." I told him.

"I got that." He smirked. "Just me all the time, huh?"

"Not all the time, but enough of it."

He kidded my forehead again. I loved it. "You always gonna be this honest after sex?"

"I don't know, it's my first day." I said.

He laughed. It was everything.

"You did pretty well." He said. "I thought you'd be more nervous."

"I just kicked Katherine's ass and took down a house full of vampires." I said. "I won't be nervous about anything for a while."

"That's good to hear." He said.

I opened my mouth to say something, but he cut me off.

"I love you." He told me.

"I love you to."

"I mean it." He told me. "I know in the past some of the things I've said to you have been kind of crazy, but still."

I nodded. "I know."

"You always do."

"You aren't hard to figure out."

"You're smarter than a lot of people."

"True, but I just know you." I said.

"You're the only one that's taken the time to."

"I could say the same for you."

Damon and I were kissing again, and it was slow and meaningful. I pulled him back on top of me, between my legs and moaned loving the feel of him there. Damon sucked on my bottom lip and ran his fingers through my hair and kissed me deeper exploring me like I was doing him. I felt him hard and ready against my thigh again.

I pulled back. "Again?"

"I had ten blood bags."

"You're on a diet."

"I'll enjoy it while I can."

I reached between us and grabbed the length of him and noticed he felt harder now, that he did then. I pulled him into me, biting my lip, and he slid back inside make the both of us sigh. Him moving against me, inside me, the way that he was would be my undoing. Damon's lips went to that spot on my neck again, kissing me softly and tongue moving in circles.

I moaned and clung tighter to him as I moved my hips with his tongue. Damon came back up and kissed me, moaning against my lips. His hips picked up a little speed and my eyes rolled back from the feel of him. I'd been about to blissfully let go of reality when my phone rang.

My phone. Rang.

Damon was about to reach for it, but somehow I got to it before he did. It was Matt.

"Don't answer that." Damon said, a dark look in his eyes.

"I have to."

"You're busy."

"Damon, seriously? It's Matt."

"Fine." He said. "Go ahead. "

I rolled my eyes and answered. "Hello?"

"Bonnie!" Matt shouted. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah Matt," I said. "I'm fine what's-"

Damon started his rhythm again. I looked at him with wide eyes and gasped when he went deep.

"Bonnie?" Matt said my name. "Did you hear me?"

"I-um, yeah?" I said as Damon kept going, kissing that spot on my neck and running his thumb over my lips.

"We've been calling you for hours." Matt said. "Where are you?"

"Yes, Bonnie," Damon whispered in my ear as he moved his hips. "Where are you?"

I tried to speak, but it came out a half moan. I recovered quickly. "I'm with Damon."

"I figured that," I could almost hear Matt roll his eyes. "He grabbed you and sped the hell off."

Damon nipped at that spot on my neck, just enough for me to shiver.

"Hello?" Matt said.

I tried to sit up, but Damon kept me down, chuckling in my ear.

"Matt, I'm fine. Damon wasn't completely healed after everything, so we're working on it."

"Nice." Damon kissed me as he went deep again.

"Oh." Matt said. "I thought Psycho Salvatore was going to kill you or something."

"Instead he's fucking you," Damon whispered in my ear. "Isn't that different?"

"Matt my dad's calling I have to go, okay? I'll come by later."

"Do that." He said. "I mean it."

We hung up.

"Rude." I moaned in his ear.

"Did I interrupt hot sex with you to answer a phone after you've been missing for days?"

I looked down, pretending to feel guilty. "No."

"That's right." He kissed me. "You have to make it up to me."

"Anything." I said before I could stop myself.

Damon looked at me, suddenly serious. "You mean that don't you?"

I nodded.

Damon kissed me so deeply my head spun. In addition to his thrusts I was back on my way to losing touch with reality. I realized that I meant what I said about doing anything for him. Coming from Katherine, Damon had been through so much I wanted to do anything for him.

He pulled back. "I'll think of something."

**A/N: FEELS FEELS FEELS! *Motley Crue voice* I feel like we can all take a collective sigh now and let the sex begin! **

**And there will be sex.**

**For those wondering, there was another purpose to this chapter. Damon tells Bonnie she's innocent, and she maintains that while she hasn't been as bad as he's been, she's still had some bad moments. The purpose of that was to keep them on equal footing. One thing I hate about Stelena is that Stefan uses Elena as a reminder of his humanity and she allows it. Bonnie's aware of her species and Damon knows his humanity. I'm glad we're all on the same page. **

**Nothing other than the obvious was meant for this chapter. It was for Damon and Bonnie to get closer and explore everything before I send them through hell again. And I'll be honest. I had some very crazy things planned for Damon and Bonnie. The major one, and the one none of you will have to worry about, is Damon cheating on Bonnie with Elena, or anything like that. There IS a Delena scene coming up, but it won't be what you think. I've gotten you this far right?**

**Again, this chapter was mainly for Bonnie and Damon. After everything they've gone through, they deserved to be in love. And they are very much in love. The one thing I can say about Damon is that he's consistent with his love. I'm going to keep him that way and I hope you guys stick with me.**

**Oh there will be drama. Trust me.**

**Also…I want to do a contest. I kind of want people to PM me, but then again I don't want anyone to feel like they've been looked over…so I'll do it by reviews. The FIRST person to guess who else knows about Damon and Bonnie gets a one shot, completely dedicated to them of course, telling which character it is and telling how THEY found out. You'll love it, I promise.**

**Is there anything else?**

**Right. Everybody who keeps asking the "When is everyone going to find out" question, I'll ask you this. Would you like Damon and Bonnie to walk in and go, "We're here, we're Bamon, go fuck yourselves we're moving to Charm City and never see you guys again l8r bye"? OR do you want it to come out in a way that's central to the story and Bonnie? You pick it, I'll write it, but one of those wraps up the story waaay earlier than planned lmao. **

**I'm messing with you guys. Seriously though, I'll do it if you want *Smiles innocently***

**Alex and Jonas aren't done yet. Plus we'll be seeing some other special guests pretty soon.**

**Now that I've finally gotten Bamon this far, Dydia is getting some love. Because Tyler Fucking Hoechlin that's why. Also, how would you guys feel about a Mortal Instruments story? Probably Isabel and..Simon…Jace? Who would you guys pic? Ugh!**

**I love you guys. In depth reviews please because I LOVE hearing what you all think. If you have any questions about anything NO SPOILERS then please PM me. I respond. I respond well. Til next time Effervescent Fam!**

***Anime Pose***


	30. Strawberry Lip Gloss

**A/N: That was fast. Shout out, MAJOR congrats to Pyrvmids for getting the answer right. Also to Hotcocoa6904! They were the first ones (don't kill me) and there was NO guessing. They were absolutely sure and I commend you. This is set in Chapter 26 of Effervescent during Bonnie's flashback. I'm making it a separate story for them, and the other people who either haven't subscribed to me or only know of Effervescent. It was Caroline who knew, and if you go back, I'll bet you'll even notice when and where. **

**Or you can read this.**

Strawberry Lip Gloss: Caroline POV

Bonnie Bennett was wearing an olive green, one hundred percent cotton, Foreign Exchange button down shirt with nine just as green if not greener buttons. Her skirt was from Charlotte Russe, was also cotton, and was black and pleated. Her ankle boots were Charlotte Russe too and were the exact ones I'd been eyeing about two weeks ago online.

Bonnie Bennett had a boyfriend.

No seriously, I'm not joking, and it was hard for me to believe to, but that's what it was. I grew up with her, loved her like a sister, and I knew the type of things she wore. She was the girl with the peasant tops that didn't flatter her figure, and don't pretend you don't know the one I'm talking about. The one with the fuck ugly flowers on it that look like Limited Too rejects.

What made everything so bad was that, even though Elena and I had tried on every occasion we could to get her out of it, it never worked. She was comfortable with puffy sleeves and designs that looked like notebook covers. She had the legs of a goddess and covered them in Old Navy flares. Here shoes were usually clunky wedges that only she would bother wearing.

I could not. I. Could. Not.

But lately, ever since she and Douchebag Salvatore had gotten back from their doppelganger info recon mission, she's been dressing like…well…me. And I'm not conceited, so don't think I am. It's just one of those things that's fact. There wasn't a Foreign Exchange or a Charlotte Russe for miles. FOR. MILES. I did all of my shopping online and if the rest of these bitches were smarter, they'd do it to.

That's beside the point.

Bonnie Bennett had a boyfriend and I knew it. Girls only straighten their hair for three reasons. Formal occasions, to get through the week, or when they had boys to impress. That last one sounds off, but trust me, boys hate hairstyles. How the hell do you think Elena's gotten best hair every year even when she _isn't_ a senior. Trust me, this is science.

And while Bonnie could pretend she didn't have one, I knew better. I could hear like, smell love, and see sex all at the same time. From what I was getting from Bonnie, she was falling in love but still had her virginity. He'd gotten in her pants a couple times but…from the length of that skirt it's only been heavy foreplay and from the looks of that shirt she's keeping her feelings to herself for the moment.

I was just wondering who she thought she was fooling.

Probably anyone who didn't pay attention, like Elena. Loved her too, just as much a sister as Bonnie, but if it wasn't about Stefan then it really didn't matter. I mean she had her drama going on, but she was blind as a bat sometimes. Becoming a vampire didn't make me neglect the world I lived in, it tuned me into more. I knew everything that was going on with my friends.

Don't believe me?

Matt's screwing the girl in his literature class. How do I know? Because I can see it in his walk and in his eyes. He's not as tense as he was before and he _definitely_ had loosened up in the walk department. Both of those equaled sex and you can ask anyone with eyes. The girl's name was irrelevant, just like she'd be in about…maybe three more months.

I could be pessimistic, I like to see Matt happy.

Stefan was on his humanity kick again, but he and Elena were back to having pretty regular sex. I knew she considered breaking up with him like twice because he kept using her as a reason be all down all the time, but I told her to stick with him because really, who else was going to keep the danger whore satisfied.

And Elena was a danger whore. I mean that in the nicest way possible. She's just one of those girls who isn't content with being in reality. She wants to go on wild adventures with a James Dean look a like and let her hair fly in the wind as they speed away from the bank they just robbed and waving their pistols. It had been like that since we'd seen that one movie on TCM.

Don't ask me which one because I don't care. Right, back to Bonnie.

She looked…out of it, but what else was new? She'd been out of it since her Grams died and I couldn't blame her on that, but this time, I couldn't blame her zoning on a boy. The look in her eyes was confusion and, when I narrowed my gaze, it was a decision she had to make. Judging by the way her shoulders were hunched and she narrowly missed bumping into Conrad Abrams, she had about…maybe a day to make it.

I should get my own show. Really.

After she talked with me and Elena, I pulled Elena to the side. "I've a got a question."

"You've got my shoulder too." She said.

I rolled my eyes and let go with her. "Stefan can spank you, but I can't grab you?"

"Caroline, hush, now what's up?" she asked.

"I think Bonnie has a boyfriend."

Elena stiffed slightly, but enough for me to catch it. "I don't think she has one."

"You suck at lying." I told her. "Like really suck at lying."

"I mean it," Elena said. "I don't think she has one."

"When you lie, your heart beats faster." She said.

"Listening to your friend's hearts isn't cool." Elena said.

"Neither is lying to them." Caroline said. "So who's her boyfriend?"

Elena looked around, pulled me back towards our lockers, and sighed. "You won't say anything?"

"I won't say anything."

"This isn't gossip Caroline, don't say a fucking word."

"I already agreed, bitch, you're wasting time."

Elena sighed again. "It's Jeremy."

Not in those ankle boots. "It is not."

"She and Jeremy went on a date, Caroline. He painted her this amazing picture of her."

In what VH1 Jumpstart themed world did that mean they were in a relationship?

I shook my head. "They aren't dating."

"Well they're about to." She told me. "I already told her she could and that I didn't care."

The fact that Elena assisted in what would eventually be Jeremy's heartbreak was astounding. I shook my head at her.

"Until then," I said giving her a look, "I'm going to operate under her dating someone else."

"Who else could she be dating?" Elena asked. "She hates every boy here."

"Which means he doesn't go here." I said. "She's either got a college boy or some loner freakazoid who indulges her privacy."

Please let it be the college boy.

The day went by pretty quickly, mainly with me being busy with committee stuff and organizing cheer bake sales and car washes, but I somehow managed to keep an eye on Bonnie. Like I'd thought, she wasn't dating anyone in our school. She walked by all the boys and ignored them when they tried to talk to her. Her stride was stiff, her shoulders tense. She was less high school girl and more eighties corporate yuppie. I rolled my eyes and went into the cafeteria.

Matt was there, with some of his other friends and when I approached they left. I was glad they already knew.

"Do you know what's up with Bonnie today?" I asked.

"Something's up with Bonnie?"

"Matt, sweetheart, she's wearing ankle boots and a mini skirt. What have I taught you about those things?"

"If they're in the fall catalog and not paired with the right purse then it's pointless?"

I'd trained him well, he'd just forgotten most of it.

"Ugh, no!" I said. "Well yes, but no! Bonnie has a boyfriend."

"Yeah, Jeremy."

I left the table.

So it seems like I'm being super nosey and to a degree I am, but no one understands how rare this is. My friend, Bonnie Bennett, was in a relationship with a guy. And I had no idea who he was. The last time that happened, the guy ended up being the son of a psycho witch. The same psycho witch pretending to be Bonnie's teacher.

Tyler came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. "Hey babe."

"Don't hey babe me, you left again."

Tyler and I were supposed to be spending the night together while my mom had the night shift. He'd come over later than he should've, had sex, and then sometime during my passing out he'd left. Other girls would be suspicious of another girlfriend or even a random lowerclassmen groupie, but I had something bigger to worry about.

Klaus.

Tyler loved him. He wouldn't say it, but a sire bond sounds way too sketchy. Klaus would literally call Tyler at random times of the day and have him do something Tyler would never tell me. It bothered me to no end and frustrated me so bad I wanted to ram my old nail file into Klaus's jugular.

And now I was hungry.

"You know I had to," Tyler said in my ear.

"No you didn't." I told him. "You could've stayed with me."

"Klaus asked me to do something." Tyler said. "You know how that is."

I turned on him so fast, my hair blew. "Do I? Because you aren't telling me anything, you're sneaking away from me, and you're spending your nights with another guy. How far does the sire bond go exactly?"

Tyler looked like he wanted to kill me. "I told you never to say shit like that again."

"You are _not_ getting mad at me about this." I said. "I've been asking you for weeks to break the sire bond. I've been asking you to do this for us. Bonnie even said she'd help."

"It's not that simple, Caroline." He spat through gritted teeth. "You think I don't want to be there with you? You think I like leaving you?"

"No," I hissed back. "I think that if you wanted to, you'd do what you had to. You're grateful to Klaus for taking away your pain and giving you servitude. That's not a trade that's a rip off."

"I'm not doing this." Tyler said, backing away. "I'm not."

I shook my head. "You don't have to."

Not too long after that, I was driving home and meeting Bonnie. The good news is, I'd finally get my answers. The bad news was that I already had too much on my mind about my own boyfriend. I needed to call him back and set things right. I didn't like arguing with him, but I always hoped with eac of our fights it would drive him to want to get away from Klaus, it never did.

After my mom left, I sat down on my bed and patted it. "So what's up?"

I watched as Bonnie moved towards the spot I'd patted, and sat down. I didn't know who her boyfriend was, but I was certainly glad he'd gotten her out of her shell. This was the Bonnie I'd always known, the one with the amazing golden brown skin and the beautiful thick hair. Her clothes clung to her body and showed off her shape and her skirt gave a peek at those amazing legs of hers. This was the girl I knew she could be. I was so happy for her.

She took a deep breath and let it go. "I'm having boy trouble."

I was too smart for my own good. I smiled huge. "I knew it!"

Bonnie groaned. "Care,"

"Don't Care me, bitch!" I screamed at her. "I knew you were seeing someone! Name, height, eyes, hair, go!"

"Boy. Trouble!" She said.

I rolled my eyes. "Boys are always trouble, that's why we like them."

And it was true. In a world where girls are socialized to believe in pink and made to feel bad for opposing their self driven decisions, we loved boys. They were something different, something new. It was like going shopping for something and you had a choice of what kind of trouble you wanted to get in. Did you want the preppy boy who had access to parties and alcohol, or did you want the bad boy who knew about sex and weed? Did you want the sensitive boy who'd get why you hated him a week out of every month or did you want the jock who was bonded to an original vampire after his pain was taken away?

We see which one I chose.

"He's an asshole." Bonnie said.

What boy wasn't? "Find me a boy who isn't an asshole and he's either gay or dead. Or a puppy."

"A puppy?" she laughed.

Puppies could do no wrong.

I began firing questions at Bonnie. "Is he balding?"

She looked dazed. "No."

Which means he had amazing hair.

"Cross eyed?"

She looked like she was in a dream. "No."

Which meant his eyes were perfect. Shape, color, and depth.

I didn't even let her answer the ugly question, because she knew better.

"Little dick?" I cocked my head.

"God no." she half moaned.

Whoa. Confused vampire says what? "So you've seen it? What the hell aren't you telling me?"

Bonnie went on to tell me that she didn't know if he really felt the same way about her. She continued to tell me that he liked someone else. I rolled my eyes, it would figure. Bonnie was such a sweet girl, but she could be naïve at times. You never dated the guy who wanted someone else because he always wanted someone else. He would like her for awhile don't get me wrong, but that other girl would come shining through whenever she felt like it.

And then I would have to kill a few people.

Bonnie told me that she knew he liked her, really liked her, because she'd read his mind. There wasn't much I could do to fight that because she had a leg up in a situation most girls would kill for. If she thought he was okay, all I could tell her was to be careful. I loved her and I wanted her happy. I would have her back regardless.

She thanked me.

"Stop thanking me, tell me what he looks like." I commanded.

"Tall, dark hair, really good looking." She smiled wistfully.

Even though it wasn't hard to be taller than Bonnie, she had a great judge of height. Which meant that her boyfriend, whoever he was, had to be somewhere between five ten and six two, have brown or black hair, and be exceptional in the face.

That narrowed everything down. Way down.

The next day when I saw Bonnie, she looked better.

Whatever had been on her mind yesterday, she'd clearly come to a decision about it. Her shirt was a simple blue blouse and her jeans were tight. Her decision, worries, all of that had been made and laid to rest. I was happy for her really.

And I needed to find Tyler. He'd been acting super dodgy and disappearing around corners whenever he saw me. Luckily for me, I'd been walking past an empty history class and saw him.

I stepped inside and closed the door. Tyler was looking straight ahead at the bored with his hands clasped together. Seeing him like this, I realized how amazing he looked and how confused he was at the same time. After Bonnie left my house yesterday, I did some serious thinking. If Tyler couldn't sever the bond, maybe I could get Bonnie to do it for him. For us. I took a seat on the desk in front of him.

"I've heard getting to class before everyone else gets you extra points with the teacher."

He nodded. "I heard that too."

"Any reason why you're sitting here by yourself?" I asked.

"Just thinking." He said.

Tyler was a deeper person than he let on, so when he told me that, I could believe it. Under the macho exterior and the lady killer smile, Tyler was someone who actually had a great grasp on what was going on around him. He just didn't know how to deal with it.

"Am I losing you?" he asked.

"Why would you lose me?"

"Every time we talk, it goes back to the sire bond." He said. "It's always the sire bond. It's a part of me that you don't like and one I can't change. Is something that happened to me costing me my relationship with you?"

"Tyler you have to understand what the sire bond is to the rest of us." I replied. "To you it's a bond of gratitude and loyalty, but to us it's another way for Klaus to be here even when he's not. You go off to see him, you don't tell us where. He puts things in your head that you don't know about. You could hurt or kill either one of us and we wouldn't see you coming because we all still know and love you. It's not about what you can or can't change, it's about safety and trust that no one but me seems to believe in."

He nodded. "I tried warning Bonnie today."

"Why would you have to warn her?"

"I heard Klaus talking about Mystic Falls. I've been warning everybody."

"What was he saying?" I asked.

He shook his head. "I can't say."

I sighed. "I love you Tyler, you'll always have me."

"I love you too." His voice was deep as he stared straight ahead.

"But this is a decision you have to make for yourself. You can't be happy that someone wants to kill your friends. You can't be loyal to someone who wants me dead."

"I don't want to be." He said.

"Then don't." I said, coming to my knees in front of him. "Be who you are, be who you want, and I'll help you. We can do this together Tyler, you and me."

He was quiet for a second, dark eyes looking into mine. "You mean it?"

"I said it, right?" I said. "Caroline Forbes doesn't say shit she doesn't mean."

"Only shit that can be taken the wrong way." He smiled small.

"Usually by people with bad hair and low self esteem issues."

I kissed him softly. "I love you."

"I love you more." He said.

"Doubt it, sap, now cheer up. You know what sadness does to my hair."

It was game night.

For most girls game night meant getting dressed up in cute outfits that showed school spirit. For me, it was like going to war. Those other cheer bitches for the other team needed to go down. I'd trained these girls like their lives depended on it and they did. If even one of them was out of place, all of them would suffer.

"Where's Bonnie?" Elena asked, ponytail bouncing.

"I don't know, but she needs to get her ass here." I said. "We walk in like five minutes and if she isn't-"

A black nineteen seventy five mustang pulled up right next to us.

Bonnie got out of the passenger seat. Damon had been driving.

"Barbie!" he yelled when Bonnie was out of the car and standing between us.

"Fuck you!" I growled. I heard some of the girls behind me gasp.

"I'm sorry!" He yelled.

Wait. What?

"What?"

"You heard me. I'm sorry. For everything. We're good now."

Before I could say anything, he slammed the door shut. But not before I noticed him smile, just barely, at Elena.

He was gone.

I looked at Bonnie. "Did he just-"

Damon had never, ever, apologized to me for anything. For taking advantage of me, for using me to torment my friends, for making me feel like I was a pawn. His apology now was something he'd done in passing, but it was more than I'd ever gotten from him period.

He'd have to do better than that, but I could tell on some Damon level he'd meant it.

"Looks like it." She said, eyes bright.

"Why were you riding with him?" Elena asked.

"My car wouldn't start," Bonnie said.

_Thump. Thump. Thump._

Bonnie had just lied.

I knew it when she said it, she had the most hippiest car ever and the damn thing ran on sunshine and love, but hearing her heart speed up confirmed it. I kept my face blank though because the last thing I wanted to do was box her in a corner. I'd never find out anything then.

She asked me about Tyler, I told her.

Mystic Falls High was decorated in school spirit and wolf shit that really should be burned when the game was over. The girls and I moved in unison to the count in my head and I had to say that I was proud of them. Not too many people could handle being a cheerleader with me as captain, but these girls did it with style. And Bonnie actually looked into it for a change.

On the inside, we were winning.

Tyler and Matt were on fire, killing the opposing team. I did my toe touches and my V's and the rest of the girls followed. When it was halftime, we jogged out onto the court and took our positions. When the music started, so did we, hitting the routine we'd been practicing for a week straight for hours at a time and nailing the moves perfectly. We moved as a unit, capturing the attention of the fans and owning the court.

Bonnie went out and did her tumbling like we'd practiced. It wasn't until I saw her, whenever she did it, that I realized just how amazing she was. It was a sight to see the girl that no one expected this kind of fire from to come out and own everything. And Bonnie was on fire. She landed when the beat stopped and went into a split when it started back up.

The girls took her back preparing for her to fly.

"Are you ready MFH?!" I yelled.

The crowd screamed with me.

"I can't hear you!" I shouted. "Are you ready?!"

They were louder, deafening.

Bonnie was tossed into the air.

And it was amazing. She did a double full twist and arched her body as she came back down. When the girls caught her, the crowd went wild. This was the kind of thing I lived for. This was the kind of thing that made me forget I could rip this school apart when I got angry enough.

I ran up to Bonnie and the girls. "Bonnie, can you do it again."

She was feeling it too, the school spirit. "Definitely."

I turned around and walked back towards the crowd. "Whose house is this?!"

"WOLVES!" they screamed.

"WHO?!" I screamed.

"WOLVES!"

"HOWL FOR ME!" I commanded.

Everyone, and I do mean everyone, howled.

Elena grabbed my arm and turned me around.

Bonnie had gone up, but something was wrong. The flip she did looked like she'd bounced up on a trampoline and didn't know how to land. She'd gone backwards and was now on her back, kicking and screaming and grabbing at the air.

"I'll catch her." I said moving forward.

Luckily I didn't have to. The girls were trained well enough to hold each other's arms so that bonnie could fall and be unharmed. She looked dazed, no, she looked zoned out and when she got to her feet, the crowd cheered that she was okay.

And Bonnie ran off the court.

Elena, an out of nowhere Stefan, and I followed her into the parking lot. Bonnie was looking around frantically, a terrified look on her face. Matt and Tyler had followed us as well, Matt standing beside Elena and Tyler beside me. Bonnie turned around and saw all of us. Her eyes landed on Tyler. I heard a ringing.

Tyler was on the ground. I screamed.

"What the fuck did you do?" she hissed.

"I don't know what you're talking ab-" he tried.

"Lie to me again and I swear I'll change you in the middle of this parking lot."

We all stiffened.

She repeated the question, but I jumped in. "He said he doesn't know!"

Bonnie made a valid point about Tyler being weird, but it wasn't for the reason she thought.

What she said next threw us all for a loop. "Damon's my familiar."

Her what?

Jeremy, who I swore was still inside, beat me to it. "Your what?"

"Familiar," Stefan said looking shocked. "He's bonded to her by magic."

Yelling, a Jeremy placement, and a phone call to Alaric later and we were getting in our cars.

Bonnie was using magic to find Damon or at least the last sign of him. She said to go west and when I pulled out of the parking lot, we were quiet for a bit before I told her what I was thinking.

"You didn't have to do that to Tyler." I said.

"Yes, I did." She answered back, monotone.

"Bonnie I get that he's your familiar, but what was hurting Tyler going to do?"

"Put him in enough pain to break his sire bond and, when the pain stopped, he'd be free of Klaus so he could give me the answer I was looking for. Provided Klaus was behind all of this."

Despite the fact that it was a horrible plan, it would've worked. I'd give her that.

Driving along the road, my vampire vision kicked in and I could see everything clearly. We were approaching something in the street, a dark mass with debris and something else on the ground next to it. I flashed my taillights so Stefan and Elena would know we found something.

It was a car. It was Damon's mustang.

Bonnie was out of the car so fast, she was a blur. I grabbed my cheer jacket and slipped it on, it was an old habit whenever I went outside at night, and got out of the car. Stefan, Elena, and I all ran after her, slowing as the whole scene came into view. I could smell blood, and vampire, and burning tires and metal. I could smell the heart on the ground beside the dead vampire. The heart that Bonnie now held in her hand.

She said something and the vampire on the ground came to life.

It was the freakiest thing I'd ever seen and, when you're an undead creature of the night, that's saying something. Bonnie questioned him and when he didn't give an answer she was satisfied with, she squeezed the heart and I could smell old blood dripping down her palm and plopping on the ground. Once she deemed him useless, she tossed the heart.

"Bonnie," Elena asked in a small voice. "How did you do that?"

"Reading." She answered, looking around.

And then she took off into the trees.

Stefan and Elena ran after her, but…something else caught my attention. The smell was unique for it to be out here in the middle of the road. So unique, and faint, that I latched onto it and followed it as best I could. Stefan and Elena were calling Bonnie's name and I was walking towards Damon's car like I was in a trance. I dulled everything else around me, the sounds, the sights, everything, and was lead by my sense of smell.

Inside of Damon's car, the smell grew stronger. I sniffed the driver's seat and smelled Damon and something else. It smelled like lilies and peaches and mango body wash. The Ralph Lauren cologne was Damon's but the other stuff was Bonnie. She loved all of that kind of stuff from Bath & Body Works, and I remembered her gushing over getting the last ones in stock.

But that wasn't it.

This smell was sweeter, something more artificial than any of that. I could smell it by the head of the driver's seat and even more in the passenger. I was inside of Damon's car looking sniffing around like a damn bloodhound when I finally found it.

A tube of strawberry lip loss.

As soon as I picked it up, I connected the smell to the other parts of the car. In the passenger seat, in the _driver's_ seat. I knew this particular brand and flavor because I made all the girls wear it. It was cheer captain tradition. Every since I made varsity when I was a freshmen, I really am that good, our captain made us wear it because when we did, our teams, no matter the sport, won their games. I held the tube of lip gloss in my hand and stared at it with new eyes.

_Is he balding?_

_No._

Damon had thick hair that often fell into his eyes sometimes. Stefan remarked once or twice that Damon looked more Italian than he ever did. He'd gotten it from their mother's side.

_Cross eyed?_

_No._

Damon's eyes were the blue and straight and often piercing sometimes. If you didn't know him any better you would swear he was looking into your soul. Damon didn't care about the soul, though, he wanted what you could give him.

I didn't even bother with the ugly or the little dick. Both of those answers were no and I knew that from personal experience.

_He likes someone else, doesn't he?_

_She has a boyfriend, they're in love._

Elena. She meant Elena.

_Tall, dark hair, really good looking._

Damon was about six two, hair so black it looked unreal sometimes, and despite him being a major asshole he was still very attractive.

Oh my god. Bonnie and Damon.

I sped up to Stefan and Elena just as Bonnie came out of the forest. She dropped a shoe on the ground, I knew before anyone said anything that it was his. The look on her face, the breakdown she was trying to avoid and the emotion she'd exhibited, I could see it all over her face. She moved past us and walked back towards my car, her walk was stiff again.

"Caroline," Stefan said. "Did you find anything in Damon's car?"

I shoved my fists in my pockets, running my thumb over the tube.

I shook my head. "No. Nothing."

**A/N: I hope you guys like it and I hope you'll tell me if you didn't! I enjoyed typing this and I hope you guys read it and love it!**

**Also, I hope I did Caroline justice!**


	31. Compel

**A/N: You guys are amazing. Thank you so much for the awesome reviews. And let me tell you guys something. Lapis Love, I was NOT aware you were a Bamon guru. Omg. I'm going to gush more later. **

Chapter 31: Compel

Damon was watching me pick out clothes.

It had been three days since I'd gotten him out of that place and we'd fallen into a routine. During the day I was at school and socialized with my friends. Everything else belonged to him. He would come in through my window whenever I got home and would stay with me even when my dad was downstairs. He would take off my clothes and I would take off his.

He would tell me he loved me as we had sex.

There was definitely a shift in Damon, something I could see and feel. He was still himself, but there was something lighter about him, more…patient. I could see in his mind he'd taken what I'd said to him in the car seriously. If I asked a question, even one that sounded dumb to me, he'd answer it. He'd tease me afterwards of course, but he would still answer it. If I said his name, I had his undivided attention. When I spoke, he listened.

I did the same.

I remembered what Katherine said, about him doing what you said almost to the point of obedience, but I didn't believe that. Knowing Damon, being in love with him and him being in love with me, I knew he was the type of person who just naturally did for those he cared about. Maybe he wasn't always direct about it, maybe his methods were a little out there, but if he cared for you and you asked for something it would happen.

I think that was one of the things I loved the most about him.

But he wasn't completely selfless. Damon wanted me and my time and as far as I was concerned, he could have it. He was vocal about wanting to spend time with me when he wanted and I could appreciate it. When I asked him once why he wanted to be around me so much, he looked at me and put on his serious voice.

"I've been waiting over a century to find something as interesting as you. I'm not ready to give it up yet."

Caroline was busy with organizing things for school functions, cheerleading events, and helping Tyler. Elena was busy with Stefan and trying to keep her life as normal as possible. Matt and his new girlfriend, a title she'd earned while taking care of him when he got a stomach virus out of nowhere, were getting to know each other and hanging out more.

I had my magic and Damon, I was very okay with the both of them.

Today though, my friends all group texted each other and decided we missed each other. Since all of the vampire drama started happening, none of us really got to do the things we wanted to do. Elena was usually on house arrest, Caroline was usually watching Tyler, and my nose was usually in a spell book somewhere. The fact that Jonas and Alex had disappeared further solidified our happy moods and how much we missed each other.

We weren't worried about anything anymore. Well, except Klaus.

So this afternoon, we were pulling away from our boyfriends and girlfriend and doing something we all wanted to do. Since Mystic Falls is the size of a studio apartment, it was go to the Grille, which Matt hated because he spent so much time there as it was, and hangout in the town square. I found myself looking forward to it.

I found myself hating leaving Damon.

On my bed, next to him, were spell materials. Somehow I thought that us being together and everything meant I got a break from magic, but Damon wasn't letting that happen. He told me he'd meant what he said, that he would help me with my magic, and that I still had a long way to go before I was as powerful as I wanted to be. He also told me that I was still one of the most powerful witches he'd ever met.

"The difference between a curse and a hex?" Damon asked.

"A curse is a spell that can use materials, but doesn't always have to. It's tied to a person, a family, or even a group of people and can spread through generations. A hex is short lived and doesn't require any materials. You say the spell, it happens instantly. A curse usually doesn't stop until the witch is dead or the will of the curse is carried out. A hex can last for a few hours or a few days."

He nodded. "Channeling and Calling?"

"To channel means to summon the force of something physical. Channeling the energy of a person, a vampire, or anything living. It also works with the belongings of someone. I can have your car keys and channel you through the possession of it. Calling is more of a nature thing. Like calling your specific corner is investing your magic within your element and using the magical properties in said element to perform spells."

Damon smirked. "Spells and Commands?"

"Spells require incantations of the base language. Most spells are Latin, but over time various witches of culture have their own language and incantations. Using Latin is like using the essence that magic was built on, that most of everything is built on. Commands are putting your mind and magic into what you want to happen and making it so."

He reached beside him and picked up a stone.

"That's a crystal, a clear one. It can be used to null the effects of a spell, blank out an event, or wipe someone's memories. Because it's white, it's like the blank slate of crystals."

He held up another stone.

"Amethyst," I said. "Used as the center to focus. It's a mind clearer as well as an unblocking method. Focus on it and you can get a lot of things done."

Damon smiled. My heart jumped. "You're getting better."

"I have a great teacher."

"You're doing this on your own."

I shrugged. "A little, but you're still helping."

I walked over to him and stood between his legs. He pulled me closer and kissed me, hands gently squeezing my hips and trailing down to my thighs. I gasped a little when his fingers got softer and shivered when they went towards the front of my panties. Damon wanted me to stay with him. If he kept kissing me the way he did, I'd turn into one of those girls who only spent time with her boyfriend.

It wasn't until now that I saw how that was possible.

It wasn't me, though, and I pulled back. "I'm still going. Pass me that shirt?"

Damon reached behind him as he kissed my neck, tongue darting over a new spot he'd found. One hand was still making a trail towards the inside of my panties. The other passed me the white blouse I planned on wearing. His lips stayed on my neck, kissing me and grazing his fangs over my skin. Though it had never really come up, biting during sex was something I knew he wanted. I wasn't that advanced.

The grazing, however, was amazing.

Damon was teasing me, touching my thighs and rubbing them slowly. I kissed him again pulling him close and wrapping my arms around his neck. He pulled me on his lap and sucked my bottom lip, kissing my chin and moaning a little as I straddled him.

I would never leave if he didn't let me up.

"Damon, I have to finish getting dressed." I said.

"I'm helping." He kissed my neck again.

"You aren't." it came out a moan.

"I passed you a shirt."

"With your hand up my skirt."

"Help is help." He kissed my neck again, hand going into my hair.

I managed to push myself off of him and get shakily to my feet. "I need to shower."

He took off his shirt and leaned back on my bed. "Or…"

I had a thought, one he'd like. "And…you can help me."

"Because the back is hard to reach."

"I have really small arms." I nodded.

With vampire speed, we were in the bathroom and our clothes were disappearing. He turned on the water between kisses and I unzipped his jeans, pushing them down. He stepped out of them, turning on the shower and checking the water with his hand. He kissed me and unhooked my bra, flinging it somewhere I couldn't see. He all but ripped my panties and I had to lift my legs quickly just for him to yank them off.

He picked me up and moved us into the shower, right under the showerhead. I hadn't realized how great a wet Damon looked, but I was figuring it out now. His hair was clinging to his skin as he looked down at me. I moved my hands over his torso, touching and staring at all of him. He was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen, the best part of all of my days. Almost everything was irrelevant when I was with him. I dragged my finger along the v of his hip.

When I looked up he was staring down at me, hair completely wet. I stood on tiptoes and kissed him softly, still moving my hands all over him. He pulled me closer to him, under the shower head, and I realized I enjoyed the feel of him and the water. The way his skin felt when it was wet, the way he held me to him and our scents mingled.

The way he picked me up and backed me into the wall.

I didn't have time to think about the coldness of it before he was easing his way into me, catching my breath and hardening my nipples. Damon kissed me softly as he moved back and forth, the sound of my back hitting the wall a little and the way he felt, driving me crazy. His lips moved along my jaw and back to that spot on my neck, making me moan.

Damon's arms were under my thighs, pushing my knees by my ears and my legs on his shoulders. I moaned as he stroked in and out of me, the length of him lapping at the fire inside. Focusing was becoming harder as Damon moved in that rhythm only we knew. My eyes were closing and I was forgetting everything except him and the feel of him. His forehead pressed against mine and he kissed my lips in soft pecks over and over. It was times like this where I felt like everything.

My moans had turned into screams. I could feel every inch of him now as he thrust to the hilt. He was moaning too, so deep I could feel it in my chest and when I somehow managed to open my eyes again, his were closed. The muscles in his body flexed as he rocked us back and forth. My fingers went into his hair and I marveled at the slickness of it. I was learning more and more that I loved everything about him.

I could feel it growing inside of me, that flame that ignited whenever he touched me. Damon's hips moved so deep and rhythmic, it was hard to catch my breath. His own nipples bushing against my chest with his strokes and his hips pounding me harder. The friction between us was becoming too much for me to hold onto. My legs were trembling and my breathing was quickening.

I came hard and loud, my screams bouncing off the walls of my bathroom.

Damon moved us so that I was sandwiched between him and the wall and trying to pull myself together. He was still moving in and out, still stroking and teasing the fire inside of me, only slower and more gentle. His finger trailed over my lips, pausing when I parted them a little. He eased his fingertip forward and I trapped it lightly with my teeth.

"You don't know what you do to me." He said, biting his lip.

I looked up at him and blinked. "Show me."

When I finally did get dressed and do my hair, it was time for me to meet my friends. Damon told me to text him when I got back home, but I didn't need to. He would know just like he always did when I was close. I would text him and he would tell me he was already in my room. I smiled thinking about it.

At the Grille, I looked around before I heard Elena call my name. I walked over to the booth they were sitting in and scooted next to Matt. Apparently, before I'd gotten here, they'd been talking about something that happened freshmen year.

"Okay, see, Bonnie's here now and the truth can come forth." Elena said.

"Come forth?" Caroline said. "The hell is this, Medieval Times? Anyway Bonnie, remember that party at Robbie Prior's house?"

Vaguely. "Is that the one where you convinced me that mini skirt was a good idea?"

"It _was_ a good idea." She said. "And yeah, that's the one."

I nodded. Pregaming at Matt's house when his mom and sister were gone and then stealing one of his mom's boyfriend's truck. Since I was the only one who really knew how to drive, my dad taught me in case of emergencies, they'd put me behind the wheel. I was five feet nothing, could barely see over the wheel, and making turns so wide they were half doughnuts.

"So Elena's swearing she didn't get on a table and do the Cabbage Patch." Caroline shook her head.

"You did." I smiled. "I remember because you told me to hold your drink, then threw it on the floor."

Matt laughed. "Where the hell was I?"

"Keg stand." Me and Caroline said.

Elena shook her head. "I still don't believe that happened."

"Block it out if you want to, but me and Bonnie were there."

"I remember when Bonnie made out with Tyler in the closet." Elena said.

I rolled my eyes. "It was a dare."

"Who dared you to do it?" Caroline asked.

"You did, bitch." I glared at her. "I hated you so much that night."

"Really? I don't remember that. Who was I dating?"

"Alec Rushton." Matt, Elena, and I said.

Caroline looked up dreamily. "Right. Hottie Rushton with the massive arms and curly hair."

"And the alcohol problem." Matt said.

"And that weird third nipple." Elena said.

"And a penchant for underage girls who'd do anything he wanted. No offense." I finished.

Caroline shrugged. "We've come a long way."

"Have we? I feel like I'm still the same person." I said.

"Nah," Caroline said. "You dress better."

"Your hair looks better too." Elena said.

"And you don't wear those clogs anymore." Matt said.

I looked at him. "Those were not clogs!"

"I don't speak girl. That's what they looked like."

Caroline sneered."You mean those god awful wedges with the flowers on the heel?"

Matt nodded. "Those."

"Please tell me you burned them." Caroline said.

They were still in my closet crying at what my friends were saying. "Those were cute."

"In whatever language cute means 'don't even try to do me', then yes they were very cute."

I wondered what she would think if she knew just how doable I was.

As time passed, I realized more and more how much I missed my friends being together. I remember thinking once that it was rare all of us were together at one time, and I meant it. Lately the only thing that pulled us together was a vampire. Now that we were all sitting and talking and our dynamics bouncing off of each other, I realized how much I loved it.

I was waiting for someone, namely Caroline, to ask me about what happened when I went to go save Damon, but I was hoping no one would. When it was just like this, there was almost a sense of normalcy. In my head, I could pretend that the Salvatores were the only vampires and that Damon and I could come and go as we pleased. I told him I wanted to spend my Spring Break in Charm City and he told me we could.

Matt got up to use the bathroom and then Elena dropped a bomb.

"I'm going to break up with Stefan." She said.

"What?" Caroline beat me to it. "Break up with him?!"

"Loud enough, Caroline?" Elena snapped.

"Sorry, it's just…" Caroline was _never_ at a loss for words. Ever. "Break up with him?"

Elena looked out of the window and sighed. "He's been really distant lately. The last time he did, he broke up with me and went on a murdering spree."

"That's not fair." Caroline said. "He wasn't himself."

"But he is now." Elena said. "He's so focused on keeping me alive and beating Klaus that he doesn't even…it's like an obsession with him now. We can't go out anymore because we don't know who's going to attack. He has to stand guard because he doesn't know who or what is going to try to break into my house. Last night he told me we couldn't have sex because it was distracting."

I was shocked, but not because of what Elena was saying actually it was the opposite. I knew exactly where Stefan was coming from.

"Have you talked to him about it?" I asked.

Elena shook her head. "Whenever I try, it's like he just doesn't hear it. I'll bring it up and he'll tell me that everything's happening because of him and he brought all of this into my life and just a bunch of things I'm tired of hearing. I chose to be with him, I've made that clear over and over again."

Caroline was about to jump in, but I nudged her foot under the table.

"It's like…how many times can I say that I love you, before you realize that I do?" Elena said. "I don't blame him for what he's done, I don't bring it up, and mainly I try to forget it. But all I hear day in and day out is how all of this would've never happened if he hadn't come back to Mystic Falls. How sometimes he wished that he wasn't so selfish to talk to me that first day."

"I'm just tired of being a reminder of all the mistakes he's made. One day I'm everything that's good about him, the next I'm a walking reminder of his screw ups. I can't keep competing with that, you guys. I feel like it's over."

"Elena I support your decision regardless," I told her. "But Stefan…it's weird with people like him."

"I don't know what you mean." She said.

"I'm saying that Stefan's been a couple of different people since he's come back here. He's been the normal teenage boy, he's been the vampire, and he's been the protector. Not to mention his success rate with each of those fluctuates from time to time. Having looked at it from a similar perspective, yeah, it is his fault you're going through a lot of this."

"Then again," I continued. "We know it's not his fault. You were a doppelganger before he met you and his coming back to Mystic Falls is probably one of the reasons you're still alive. I don't doubt someone would've found you eventually, especially Katherine. Maybe he thinks he introduced you to the world, but really he just opened your eyes to where you already were. It's like me blaming the tomb for my being a witch."

"So you're saying that I should stay with him?" She asked.

"I'm saying that if you're going to break up with him, do it because he's an asshole or something. But from someone who's been a similar situation where you think you have to hold everything together, it's not fun."

"Why did you think you had to hold everything together?" Caroline asked.

This wasn't about me, but I'd be honest. "Everything in this town and probably a lot of places surrounding it, has Bennett magic in it. If I didn't cast a spell, a ritual, open a tomb, ask a spirit, or anything like that then things just fell apart. After awhile, I started feeling like that was my sole purpose for everything. Suddenly my life was less about what I wanted and more about what had to be done."

"Is that why you were so moody?" Elena asked.

"One of the reasons yeah." I nodded. "But I talked to another witch, an elder one, who taught me a few things. The main one being that everything isn't my responsibility and that it's okay if I don't feel comfortable with something and perfectly normal for me to be selfish. People like Stefan, the people who can only see what they have to fix and do and protect instead of what they want, they don't see it."

"But neither you or Stefan have to put me in the forefront." Elena said. "I hate that you do."

"We love you." I told her. "It's not something we can just let slide. If it had to do with a vampire trying to kill you, Stefan was going to handle it. If a spell had to be done, I could handle it. It's easy on paper, but the mentality that comes with it leaves less of a person and more of an obligation."

"Did you resent me for that?" Elena asked softly.

I nodded. "All the time. But I couldn't get mad at you for decisions I made for myself. I didn't have to do the spells, you would've been fine. As a matter of fact, if I hadn't done them, who knows how things would've turned out? I had to learn to be selfish and learn that it's okay not to…"

"Not to what?" Elena asked.

What I was about to say was something that I'd been grappling with for a long time, mostly since I'd started going through everything, but mainly since I'd fallen in love with Damon. I realized more and more the things that I wanted for myself and the different possibilities that I could have.

"It's okay for me to want more for myself. It's okay for me not to want to die for you."

The silence was stiff, I kept going.

"All this time I thought that if I was your friend, that's what that meant. I thought that if we were as close as I said we were, that meant that I had to. I had the magic and so I had to be able to use it at any cost, even if it was my life. I thought that if I loved you, I could do it. I think on some level, Stefan feels the same."

"I never asked for that." Elena's voice shook and the tears in her eyes formed. "I never asked that from any of you."

"It's not something you ask, Elena. Would you die for Jeremy?"

"Yes." Her answer was automatic.

"Do you think he'd ever ask you to?"

Elena pushed her hair back, completely ruining her signature part. The tears that rolled down her cheeks broke my heart, but it was something that she needed to hear. I think that, if she knew where Stefan was coming from, if she loved him and could feel what he was going through, she could talk to him about it.

"I don't know what to do." Elena confessed.

"He just got his brother back." I said. "Calm down a little, write in that diary of yours, and really consider what it is that you want. Talk to him, think about it, and then write in your diary again. If what you write after a few days matches what you wrote before, then you break up with him. If you find that you're more understanding, then stick around. He loves you Elena. I just think that he's not loving you the way you're used to."

Elena wiped her eyes and nodded. "Do you still resent me?"

"No." I said. "Well I still hate you for having the best hair ever, but everything else is pretty much water under the bridge."

It was true. I didn't resent Elena anymore because of course, I'd come to my own conclusions about everything. I had my magic, I had my own way of thinking, everything just worked out the way I wanted it to these days. I had an astounding amount of control over my magic, my grades were still great, and I had Damon.

Maybe that's why I was so forgiving. Love does that I suppose.

"So what should I say to him?" Elena asked. "I mean, I don't know how to talk to him."

"Tell him you don't want him to die for you." I said. "Tell him it's okay for him if he doesn't. It doesn't go against the morals he has and it doesn't make him selfless. Tell him that right now you need a boyfriend and not a security guard."

"When did you get so insightful?" Caroline asked, wiping her own eyes.

I shrugged. "Been through shit. It does a lot to you."

She nodded. "I didn't know how much."

"No one did. I kept it that way."

"You know you can come to us," Elena said. "About anything."

Caroline backed her up. "You've been there for us through bullshit, we can be there for you."

I nodded. "I'm actually pretty good now."

"You've been pretty happy since you rescued Damon." Elena said.

"I went in there and did all of my spells right." I said with a smile. "That never happens."

Caroline smirked, but when I looked at her it was gone.

"At least you aren't setting me on fire anymore." Caroline said.

"If you don't calm down in practice, I might have to." I winked.

"Our cheers were fucking amazing because of me." Caroline said.

"I don't recall seeing you tumble or flying." I teased.

"Okay, don't even go there." Caroline said. "You know how I feel about tumbling."

Every since Caroline broke her arm in three places during cheer camp one summer, she's never been too down for the idea of tumbling. She could, don't get me wrong, especially when she had a point to make. But Caroline wasn't in cheerleading for the tumbling anymore and after what she'd gone through, I couldn't say that I blamed her.

"I've got something that might cheer you up, Elena." I said.

"What?"

"I took care of Katherine for you." I smiled devilishly. "Seriously."

"Took care of her how?" Caroline asked. "Cheer, bitch, cheer."

"So you guys know she way into that place, right?"

They nodded.

"I promised her a cloaking spell." I said.

"Not cheered yet, but go on. " Caroline said.

"I charmed it so that if she backstabbed me, Klaus would know exactly where she was for the rest of her life."

Their eyes bugged out of their heads.

"You're lying." Elena said. "You have to be."

"Nope," I said. "No lies."

"Won't she come for us?" Elena asked.

"If she does, in any form, she _walks_ to Klaus." I said.

"You're a genius, Bonnie." Elena said.

"You're a fucking mastermind!" Caroline laughed. "Like, who knew you were so maniacal?"

"Never underestimate me." I winked. "Do you feel better?"

"I feel fantastic." Elena said. "Does Stefan know?"

"I don't know if Damon told him yet, but if he doesn't you can tell him."

"Speaking of Damon," Caroline asked. "Where did he take you?"

I froze.

"I was wondering that too," Elena said. "You guys just sort of took off."

I was about to answer, the lie was going to be very convincing, but something else happened.

"Caroline?" A girl called. "Bonnie? Elena?"

She was screaming it, running around looking hysterical. Everyone was looking between us and her now, because of course everyone knew who we were. I'd never seen this girl before, or at least I thought I hadn't. the closer she came, the more familiar she looked.

"Bonnie? Caroline?" she said.

"Umm, over here?" Caroline waved with a look on her face. "What's your deal?"

She got close to us, breathing so hard we could barely make out what she was saying. I caught one word though.

"Matt."

"What about him?" I was getting up. I could feel something was wrong.

"Come with me."

Caroline grabbed my arm before I could move. "Answer the question, sweetie."

The girl looked at me, she was thirteen, maybe younger. "Your friend Matt, he's on top of the police station. He's going to jump."

We were out of the door so fast, I can't remember if we paid.

Running, the three of us were running. There wasn't time to get in a car and we wouldn't have made any progress anyway because a crowd was gathering. I could hear Matt's voice, he was shouting so loud he was going hoarse in parts. The more we ran towards the police station, the more people gathered. The more people gathered, the thicker the crowd got.

The closer we got, the more I could make out what Matt was saying.

He was speaking a language, something I couldn't identify. Personally, I hadn't known Matt to speak anything other than English and broken Spanish, but he spoke this flawlessly. He screamed it as he stood on the roof of the tallest building in our town. He screamed so loud his face was red.

He took a step forward.

I was chanting a spell before I knew it, moving sideways through the crowd and heading for the back entrance of the police station. Elena was on her phone, talking to Stefan, shouting at him to get down here. I called to Damon with my mind and let him feel my urgency. He'd been in his room flipping through channels when I got to him. His eyes went to the ceiling, meeting mine. Then, he was a blur.

Matt screamed more of the language, head whipping from side to side.

Caroline broke the handle on the door and kicked it in, the three of us rushing into the darkness of the basement. The stairs leading up to the roof was ahead and to our left. Caroline sped through the building faster than Elena and I did, but we knew where to go.

When we got to the roof, Caroline was flying backwards.

She hit the roof hard, Elena ran to her. "What happened?"

"He's strong, that's what happened." Caroline said. "He's-"

"Compelled." I finished for her. "Matt's compelled."

I could feel it in his aura, that vampire coolness that was so strong it was biting.

I took a step towards him. "Matt."

He whirled on me, screaming.

"Matt listen to me." I tried. "I need you to listen to my voice."

There was no life in his eyes. For the first time since I'd known him, Matt's eyes were blank and dark. He looked at me with such an emptiness, I got scared. Caroline and Elena were behind me, trying to come up with a plan.

"What is he saying?" Elena asked.

"I've heard this before," Caroline said. "I just can't remember where."

"We need to get him off this roof." I said as he took another step. "He's going to jump, he's been compelled to do it."

_I'm here. _I heard Damon's voice in my head. _What do you need?_

I could feel him in the crowd, he was with Stefan. A plan sprang to mind.

"The part of you that compels, I need you to do it. Tell Stefan to do the same."

When he did, I felt a soothing caress move through my mind putting me at ease. I shook it off.

"Touch Stefan." I said.

_What? _ Damon asked.

"What?" Caroline and Elena repeated.

"Do it." I said.

I could feel it when he did. Stefan's power of compulsion mingled just enough with Damon's for me to feel and expand with my magic. I could feel Damon and Stefan gasp as the magic I was using, and I just hoped that it would work. I'd never attempted anything like this, but please, _please_ let this work.

"The crowd down there," I said. "Compel them."

Shouting, I could hear Damon shouting. Stefan too. Some of the people turned around, but a lot of them were still looking at Matt. If I didn't do something fast, he'd been in an entire world of trouble when he snapped out of this. I couldn't let that happen.

I narrowed my eyes. The tree behind Stefan and Damon burst into flames.

Everyone turned then, and I could feel Stefan and Damon working together, compelling the crowd. I pushed my magic into Damon and, through the contact, Stefan as well. I could feel their pupils eclipse their irises, not wavering like they used to. The words flowed through their minds and from their lips.

"Your day was normal. You saw nothing out of the ordinary. None of this happened."

The dynamic of the crowd changed, and suddenly everyone was straight backed and facing forward. Stefan and Damon turned in a circle, capturing the gazes of everyone they could see. People in cars, windows, shops, in the park. The repeated the words simultaneously, their voices coming together in one smooth, soothing, tone.

Everyone here was focused on them now, their minds giving in.

I focused back on Matt and swung my arm backwards. He went flying away from the edge of the roof and back to where he'd knocked Caroline. Before he could get up, I held him down with my magic. I looked at Caroline.

"Slap him." I told her.

"What?" she said.

"As hard as you can," I said. "Slap him."

"I'll break his jaw." Caroline said. "Elena slap-"

Elena was already on it, leaning over Matt and drawing her hand back, slapping him over and over again. Matt hissed at her, screamed, but she slapped at him over and over, harder and harder. It wasn't until Matt's voice went back to normal that she stopped.

"What are you doing?!" He screamed.

"Matt?" she looked down, eyes roaming over him.

"Where am I?" he looked around. "Why are you hitting me?"

She hugged him and Caroline rushed to do the same. I pulled my magic away from Damon and Stefan, and stumbled backwards as the fire from the tree died down and their compulsion snapped back inside of them. The tree hadn't really been on fire. Real flame and heat, but no burn. Everything would be fine.

And then I noticed something.

Someone in the corner of the town had been watching the entire thing from a rooftop not too far from where I was. The figure's arms were folded, stance bored, and head cocked. Her long blonde hair billowed in the breeze that'd come from my magic and she winked at me when she noticed me staring.

"Rebekah." I whispered.

She turned on her heel and jumped from the building.

**A/N: You guys! A couple of things I really want to say. **

**The first being that I want to thank you so much for being patient with me (those of you who were) because a lot of real life stuff gets in the way and you can't just get by a computer all the time. Know this though, I AM NOT ABANDONING THIS STORY. DO YOU READ ME? I. AM. NOT. ABANDONING. THIS. STORY! It will be finished and I will do everything to finish it. I mean it. Also, I needed a break. I gave you guys chapter after chapter after chapter and I felt burnt out and I wanted to take a break to really refresh what I wanted to happen for the story. I could've written a lot of stuff, but it would've been shit and you guys aren't here for shit. I like to think we respect each other not to shit each other, right?**

**I know how the story is going to end. Yum.**

**Another thing, and here is where I'm a huge sap. I discovered recently that people like my stories on tumblr. So to zsaclar, epic-nerdrage, rozhanitsa, and ceres33; I love you guys so much you have no fucking idea. From the GIFs to the conversations, I love you all. You have absolutely no clue how that makes me feel and I adore you. Also, I know I'm forgetting a lot of you, but if you got a message on tumblr in your ask boxes (and you'll know who you are) I meant what I wrote. PM me. You better do it. **

**I DO NOT HAVE A TUMBLR, I SWEATER GOD I DON'T. YOU ALL WILL KNOW WHEN AND IF I'M ON ANY SOCIAL NETWORKS. **

**Lastly, this is for Lapis Love. I'd been looking at your reviews and really loving them and then I saw who you were. You're major. I feel like what I'm writing doesn't even compare, you've written so much. Like how do you find the time? I'm in awe. I'll just say it, I hope you don't think it's rude, but I did not know you were THAT bitch. Like you RUN Bamon on this site. **

**Let me chill. **

**Anyway, I'm working on my Teen Wolf fic. I already know what's going to happen in the next chapter for Effervescent so I'll be writing that too. I have a school, work, a mom who just got out of the hospital, and everything else life can give me. Be patient with me because I've never let you down before and I'm not picking today to start. **

**Review, review, review. Love you guys!**

**Oh, and did you guys like what I did with Bonnie and the compulsion? You should. You'll be seeing it again.**


	32. Anyone

**A/N: The response was fantastic, thank you guys so much. Also, if you haven't noticed, I've started my Teen Wolf Fic titled RED. I have so much planned for it, and you guys know how I am about plans. I'm warning you now, some parts of this chapter are deep. A lot of the fics I see really don't involve Bonnie and Damon having the conversations normal people have and I think it's important to remember that they are both still people. **

**And if you forgot, I'll remind you.**

Chapter Thirty Two: Anyone

After dropping Matt off and staying with him for a few hours, I'd gone back to Elena's house with everyone else. Matt said he didn't remember much of anything, only that when he turned the corner, Rebekah had been standing there waiting for him. He said everything after that was fuzzy.

We were all back on alert now that the Originals were back. Technically, we didn't know if they were all back, but Rebekah wasn't really known for her solitude. If she was here, the others weren't too far behind. Some part of me had hoped now that Klaus knew where Katherine was, he'd just go and find her somewhere.

I wasn't that lucky.

The safety precautions we normally tried to avoid came back full force. We drank vervain, wore it, traveled in groups and kept our house invitations to a minimum. I went to everyone's house and drew warding symbols in everyone's bedrooms. Maybe the vampires could get in the house, but you'd be safe as long as you were in there. Or they didn't burn the house down.

And now? Now I was sitting across from Damon in his bathtub with his fingers tracing patterns around my ankle and his eyes staring into mine. A lot of people, he'd told me, really didn't like eye contact. He was glad that I was, and had always been, bold enough to give it to him. The eyes were the windows into the soul, I'd heard.

"Water." Damon said.

"Using water as the base for a spell opens it up for change. Since the element is pretty compatible, it allows for more interpretation and can broaden the effects of a spell."

"Fire."

"Fire is the element used for destruction." I said. "If you want to use an effective curse or even one that causes a lot of damage, fire's the best way to go."

"Earth."

"Earth is for solidifying spells. It works as both a bond and ground for the spell that you're casting. The element is used for certainty."

"Do I even need to bother with Air?" he asked.

"Nah." I said. "I've been studying."

I didn't know if Damon felt the same way, but I loved when he tutored me in magic. The fact that I was learning it from another supernatural being made it feel even more realistic in my eyes. I mean yeah, he can't use magic and by the terms of nature he's an abomination towards it, but I still love what he was doing for me.

I hoped I wasn't staring too much.

"You don't seem worried about the Originals being back." I said.

Damon shrugged it off. "We knew they were coming. I'm not surprised she showed up the way she did."

"Compelling Matt to jump off a building didn't surprise you?" I asked incredulously.

"She wasn't going to send us texts announcing when she was coming."

The thought of Rebekah sending a text message with smiley faces and hearts came to mind.

"Besides, it's not the worst thing she could've done. I don't even think she intended on killing Matt."

"So all of that was just so we'd know she was back?"

"We're talking about one of the first vampires ever made." Damon said. "You don't think she's going to be a little dramatic with the arrival."

He had a point.

"Are we still worried about Elena?" I asked.

"We'll let Stefan worry." Damon smirked. "We'll just show up with a plan."

"That's very blasé of you."

"You live a couple of different lives, certain shit just doesn't register as alarming anymore."

"They want to kill her."

"They always have."

"She could die Damon." I said.

"So could you." He said. "That's where my head is."

I loved him more and more, all the time.

"You were good today." He said as his hands rubbed my feet. "Was that spell in Melissa's book?"

"Not really, it was more of an embellishment on what the book said."

He smirked. "You're taking liberties now?"

"I learned from the best." I smiled.

"You did better than I would've." He told me. "I'd have just knocked Matt unconscious and bolted. You handled everything."

I shrugged. "Matt could've gotten in serious trouble. I had to do something."

"You compelled the entire town." His eyes glinted with excitement. "That's fucking crazy."

It was pretty crazy. When Caroline, Elena, Matt, and I got off the roof; everyone was standing so still it was like a town of mannequins. No one moved, no one blinked, no one even breathed. It was like being in the middle of a ghost town. And then, when Stefan and Damon moved, everybody went back to their lives.

Weird.

As I stared at Damon, half submerged under warm water, I realized something. As much as I loved him, I didn't know a lot about his past. I mean I knew the obvious stuff, of course, but I didn't know who he was before everything else. Looking at his wet hair, it took me back to that day in bed in Charm City. I'd grabbed his hair and pulled it through my fingers admiring the silky texture of it. He'd told me he'd gotten it from his mother.

"Can I ask you something?"

"You can ask me anything." He said.

I gave him a look. "Will you answer it if I ask you?"

He chuckled. "You're learning."

"I know who I'm dealing with at this point."

He leaned over the side of the tub and took a sip from his glass of bourbon. "Go ahead, ask."

"Who were you?" I asked.

It was his turn to give me a look. "What do you mean?"

I took a deep breath and thought about it. I knew how Damon got when someone got too close to figuring things out before he wanted them too. I know how much he preferred to keep the wall up. he and I being together hadn't changed that about him. Suddenly, I was nervous.

"I hate it when you do that." He said.

"Do what?"

"Act like you're scared of me or something."

"Not scared. Just cautious."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to upset you."

"Walking on egg shells for no reason is a pretty good way to upset me."

"It's just that I know how you are about your life and how some things you don't want anyone to know."

"You're not just anyone." He told me. "I thought you knew that by now."

When Damon said things like that to me, I forgot my fears and felt this warm feeling in the pit of my stomach. There would be this small amount of dizziness behind my eyes and a thump in my temples and I would be his. The soreness between my thighs would be forgotten if he kept it up.

"If you ask me something, Bonnie, I'll answer it. You'll know when I won't."

"Okay."

"But to make this fair," he said. "I get to ask you things too."

I nodded. "Of course."

"Go ahead."

"Before Katherine," I started. "Before any of this. Who were you?"

Damon looked at me for a second, leaned over the side of the tub, and downed the barely half empty glass of bourbon. He set the glass back down on the floor and looked at me right in my eyes. When he spoke, he spoke directly to me.

"My whole name, as given to me by my mother, is Damiano Nicolo Salvatore. My name as rewritten and decided by my father is Damon Salvatore."

"Why did he change it?" I asked. The name sounded lovely when he said it.

"My father was planning to come over to America around the time my mother was pregnant with me." He said. "Back then you couldn't just go to the bank and get a loan to start a business. People had to know you, trust you, believe in something inside of you to make them want anything to do with you. The first thing anyone ever hears is your name."

"Pop Salvatore wasn't what you would call a proud Italian. From what I was told, he always had a desire to get away from Italy, but it intensified the moment he did. He was maybe seventeen when he came over here for the first time, and he ran into a group of bad people, racist assholes, you've seen the movie."

I nodded. He kept going.

"Apparently they heard my father speak. The Italian language is very…it's rhythmic. They speak with the blood of their people and the songs of their ancestors and carry the tune of their families in their words. Apparently no one liked the song my father spoke. He was jumped, beaten, and robbed."

"By the time my mother came along, my father was disgusted with Italy. It was a city of narrow streets, old buildings, and thrived on wine trades and art. My father always fashioned math and logic over anything. My mother said when she met him, she knew he was an intellectual, but one who took himself too seriously."

"When I was born and my mother told him what I would be named, after her twin brother, my father refused it. They argued for an hour before my uncle stepped in and said the name Damon. My father agreed to that. He would've changed his own name, but he did get the familial bonds ran too deep. His grandfather was a Giuseppe and so on and so forth."

"Was Stefan's name always Stefan?" I asked.

"For my mother it was Stefano, although she only called either of us that while our father was away. She named him Stefan before he could object to anything, but oddly enough, my father gave Stefan the middle name Giuseppe. If I was smart I would've seen the favoritism then."

He smirked a little. "My mother's name was Marie. She'd had a French grandmother and inherited the name. By the time my parents came over to America, he'd perfected an English accent and so had my mother. By the time me and Stefan came along, the last name Salvatore was just a name my father had "gotten from an ancestor" and couldn't change."

"You were closer to your mom, I'm gathering." I said.

"Very much so." He said. She was my favorite person in the world. She's where I get my features, but they were more dominant on her. Her hair was so black it makes mine look blonde, her eyes were like Lapis Lazuli in the sun. She was one of those women who saw the beauty in everything and had this amazing thirst for the life around her. She knew everything but only said what was important. She played the role of a housewife while still finding time for herself. She was my best friend and the first real amazing person I knew."

"I guess to answer your question, I was…a dreamer. I painted things I thought I'd never see and whistled tunes I'd never heard. Everyone thought I was crazy, but I was just tired of being in a place where I had to learn a family business I didn't particularly care about, run by a man who barely paid attention to me."

"My mother was the one who indulged me in everything I wanted. She taught me how to draw and nourished the talent when she saw it. She taught me to dance and encouraged me when I lost the beat. She taught me acceptance of my surroundings until I could rid myself of them. She taught me privacy so that no one could take anything away from me."

"By the time I was sixteen, I knew college wasn't for me."

"Someone thought it was?" I asked.

"My father thought higher education was the key to running a business. Stefan got all the good marks and accolades in most of our lessons. Most of mine had drawings on them."

"So Stefan and your father were closer?" I asked.

"They're practically the same person, but Stefan had more of my mother's good nature. My father wasn't a kind man, but he was apt to a situation. If you were nice to him, he was cordial to you. He laughed at jokes when he thought he would benefit from someone. In my eyes, he invented the word networking.

"What were your mom and Stefan like?"

"They loved each other, but Stefan had more interest in my father. Stefan and my father were always more public figures while my mom and I were more intimate beings. The two of them wanted to be in meetings and in the middle of trade operations. The two of us would rather have fun with each other, doing things we both enjoyed."

"I thought you loved to party?" I smiled at him.

"The term changed over the years. The parties now are pretty fun. The parties then were all petticoats and people moving in circles on the dance floor."

I was going to regret asking this. "What happened to your mother."

Damon sighed and, for the first time, he looked away from me. Not even that, Damon looked _down_. He never did that. It wasn't one of those things where he suddenly looked depressed or pitiful, he just…it was heartbreaking to see him feel.

"She died from a disease going around at the time. I wouldn't know if it was the plague or not, back in those days everything meant a disease and she had so many symptoms, the doctor couldn't keep up with them or diagnose them and so…I woke up one morning and she was gone."

Damon had long since learned the art of perfecting the blank face. I suspect it was something he got from his mother, having taught him how to keep things private. I could see it in his eyes he never got over it though, even after all of these years.

"I think that," he looked back up, but he wasn't really looking at me. "I think that if my mom were still alive, things would've been different. She would've supported my decision to leave the war and Katherine would've never been an option for me."

"Why's that?" I asked.

He shrugged. "A lot of people thought my mom was flighty, but it was only because she played it that way. My mother had eyes that saw all and a mind that assessed everything. Katherine wouldn't have been allowed near our house let alone near me or Stefan. She may not have controlled a lot of what my father did business wise or even a lot of final decisions that were made, but the house was hers. My father respected that about her, mainly because he was barely there himself."

I opened my mouth to ask him something else, but he cut me off.

"It's my turn." He said.

I smiled and tilted my head a little. "Go ahead."

"Who were you before the witch?" he asked with a smirk.

I smiled. "I was always a witch."

"Biologically, but you know what I mean." Damon kissed my calf. "Tell me."

I thought about it before I answered. When I thought I had an answer, I opened my mouth and closed it again. I was still that girl, but then again if I saw her on the street, I wouldn't recognize her. It was like I knew her and I didn't. I'd been her, but now I couldn't understand how. But I could understand. I stopped thinking and started talking.

"Bonnie Michelle Bennett." I said. "Best friend to Elena, on again off again with Caroline, Close with Matt and lover of all things floral and multicolored."

He smiled. "I noticed."

I shrugged. "After my mom took off, Grams stepped in with a lot of the raising. She taught me things my dad couldn't and really kept me "in line" I guess you could say. Elena and Caroline were wearing Spaghetti Strap tank tops thirteen. If the straps on mine weren't three finger width then it wasn't happening."

"That serious, huh?" Damon asked.

"Yes and no." I replied. "Mystic Falls…something Roman said to me really stuck out the last time I saw him."

"What was that?"

"I live in a town where everyone inherits their place in society from their grandfather."

Damon nodded. "Accurate."

"Mystic Falls has about," I counted in my head. "Maybe fifty black people? It's no secret where we came from, especially in a small town like this, and from that logic, you know who we got our places from. No one was really rude about it, maybe few kids in elementary school. No one really called me a name or anything like that, but it was all very passive. February rolls around and everyone looks at you. People automatically think you know the lyrics to rap songs. Caroline listens to way more Jay-Z than I ever will."

Damon rolled his eyes.

"But…I think Grams just didn't want people getting the wrong idea, you know? I mean, people knew my family and no one thought I was going to grow up and be a certain way, but it's kind of like what your dad did. He knew he was going to have a hard enough time with an Italian last name, he didn't want to draw any more attention to himself than was necessary."

Damon nodded. "Understandable."

"Outside of that, I was as normal as ever. I went to school; I joined the cheerleading squad with my best friends. I had crushes on boys and snuck out every so often. I started drinking at thirteen, but it was social. I hung only hung out with Elena and Caroline."

I took a deep breath and exhaled.

"I was lonely." I said. "I kept myself in books because those stuck around when my friends were out with their boyfriends. I was the fifth wheel on dates and never really a good date when I had them. My dad and I were close but it was like this silent mutual agreement that we'd give each other our space. He worked long hours and I stayed gone or in my room. I'd never experienced a relationship or had real love and I was slowly becoming okay with the fact that it wouldn't happen."

"You're seventeen." Damon said.

"When you're a girl, age doesn't matter." I told him. "If you're alone and you don't see that changing in any way, you can be ten and start to accept it. But I guess on some level you're right. If I had to be honest, maybe those were my abandonment issues from my mom leaving. My best friends would go out with their boyfriends and I would feel…lost. And then I would just stop feeling altogether. I didn't let anyone get close to me because if they left, if someone else left, then it would truly be me. I mean my mom left when I was two and she had her reasons, but I never blamed myself. If I dated someone and they left me, then I would."

"That's st-" Damon caught himself. "You wouldn't have had to blame yourself."

"It's not their reasons you look at when they leave, Damon, it's you. My mother left when I was two when I didn't have a choice but to be myself. If someone else broke up with me for something I did or didn't do, I would've still been myself. You see what I mean?"

"Not at all." He said. "I don't get blaming yourself for what another person does. I've never done it, you're smart enough not to do it."

"And emotional enough that logic goes out of the window." I said. "I'm just saying Damon that I'd lived my life without a lot of that pain. I didn't want to open myself up to it."

"You're open to it now." Damon commented. "Probably in more ways than one."

"True, but I'm not really worried about you leaving me."

His eyebrow raised. "Why's that?"

"A lot of people know what love is because they see it on television or they hear it in songs or they just get socialized by everything. You hear your friend tell you a story and you think you have to be that because if you don't, if it doesn't feel like that, then it's not real."

"And us?" he asked.

"We know what love is, _you_ know what love is, because we know what it's not. Love isn't always sweet or nice or anything like that. We irritate each other, most of the time I'm pretty sure we want to slap the other one, but I know you're deeper than just letting me go. You're more tenacious than people give you credit for."

"Careful Bonnie," he smirked. "I might think you know me."

"Careful Damon," I smirked back. "I might think you want me to."

"

"There's something else I wanted to ask you." Damon said. "And I want you to be honest."

"We're always honest with each other."

"You and Jeremy Gilbert," Damon said. "Where was that going?"

"Where did that come from?" I asked.

"A comment you made, about him not doing the things I'd done yet. Did you mean that?"

I sighed. "Yes and no."

"Explain." He said.

"Yes in the sense that I was mad at you and he and I were getting closer. It wasn't something that I was planning, but I was just hurt and confused and angry. You were still in love with Elena and you were thinking about her all the time and I just got tired of being on the back burner. If you could think about someone else, entertain thoughts of being with someone else while you were still laying next to me, I…I just didn't want to be the only one who was in whatever we were doing."

Damon had that look on his face that meant I'd said something he hadn't considered. I mean I'm sure I've said something like this to him in some form, but we were probably arguing. Now, in a tub full of water, with just us and both of our souls bared to each other, it felt different.

"That whole time," he started. "You really thought I didn't have feelings for you?"

"I didn't know what to think." I told him. "I bounced between being hurt and feeling like I couldn't say anything because I knew what I'd gotten myself into."

"Stop blaming yourself for my actions?"

"When I hinted at the fact that you may have felt something for me, you pushed me against a wall and told me you didn't."

The silence between us was getting tense.

"No," I kept going. "Because Jeremy is great and everything, he really is, but…he isn't you. And that's unfair to him because no one can really be someone else, but…it's just you. I've never had these feelings for anyone else. Jeremy was potential, but you're it. If I had ended up with Jeremy, I probably would've been doing the same thing to him that you were doing to me."

"Do you still feel that way?" he asked.

"What way?"

"Like I don't love you as much as I thought I did Elena." Damon said.

"I've thought about it, but I told you it's not something I'm going to really bother with. You told me you loved me. That's all I can go on. I've forgiven you for everything and I trust you with everything. I think now that the both of us have something like that, we aren't giving it up."

"Not for Elena." He said, eyes on mine.

"Not for Jeremy."

"Not for anyone." The both of us said at the same time.

The both of us were silent and looking at each other. I realized we had a lot of moments like this. Those kinds of moments when you and the person you're with are on the same page down to the letter. I could see, and feel, that Damon meant what he said about Elena. He loved me, not her. I hadn't doubted him since we'd agreed to be together, but the instant switch of his commitment was astounding.

Naturally I brought it up.

"You're…do you really not love her anymore?" I asked.

"She's a friend, a good one, but it doesn't go beyond that."

"I'm sor-" I stopped when he glared at me. "It's just that…it seems like you got out of it really fast."

"It's not hard to do when you look at facts." Damon said. "I loved Elena because she reminded me of what I thought I wanted from Katherine. I'm _in_ love with you because you remind me of what I want for myself. There's no hesitation with you, no wondering or second guessing. I know what I'm getting, it's easy to love that."

"I didn't think loving me was easy." I confessed.

"It's effortless for me."

"I don't know if I can handle you being this nice to me."

"I'm not nice to you." He said. "You're an irritating opinionated witch with poor hit or miss judgment and a knack for letting people's problems become your own."

I stared at him.

He leaned forward and pulled me onto his lap, kissing my chest and my neck.

"And you're mine." He whispered against my skin. "The best part of all of it is that you're mine. I get to be nice to you."

Damon's hands were all over me, squeezing and caressing me in ways that made me shiver. I couldn't figure out how the same hands could do so many different things to me, but I wouldn't complain about it. Instead let my own hands roam over him. The smoothness of his skin always surprised me and another question came to mind.

"What's it like being a vampire?" I breathed against him.

Damon looked up at me and kissed my bottom lip. "You want to find out?"

"Not funny." I said. "Seriously."

He looked at me. "I'll answer it if you promise not to act like you can't say what's on your mind. You can't pick and choose the days you want to believe I'm yours."

I nodded. "Okay."

"Being a vampire is exhilarating. It's being in touch with everything inside of and everything that's external. If I look close enough, I can see every individual strand of your hair. If I listen hard enough," his fingers slid between my legs and I moaned. "I can hear the way your body responds to me."

"But your body still functions." I said. "Your hair still grows, how is that possible?"

"Blood is the essence of everything. It's life, it's what pushes everything forward. If I drink blood, my body functions like it would if I were alive with the exception of reproduction."

"I wondered about that."

"Nope," he kissed me again. "No kids."

Good to know.

"Thank you." I said.

"For what?"

"Trusting me enough to tell me about your past. I know it's not something you talk about a lot but…"

"I told you it's not something I talk about with anyone."

"And I'm not just anyone." I repeated.

"Exactly."

**A/N: So let me explain this chapter before all the boos start. As I said in the beginning, I felt like a lot of people don't really leave a lot for Bonnie and Damon to be people. As I said in my first couple of chapters, I'm very character driven. A lot of the time when it takes me awhile to update, I'm so blocked because I'm trying to figure out how in the hell I'm going to keep my characters who they are while thrusting them in situations.**

**And so you get chapters like this.**

**Bonnie and Damon have been through a lot together, but I wanted them to have the conversations most lovers have. I don't want them to be overly cute, I want them to be honest. I feel like the Bamon pairing, kind of skips over that sometimes. This chapter had been in my head for awhile because it was Bonnie and Damon's chances to really explore each other's pasts outside of what they already knew. I feel like after this, when they say they love each other, it actually has a little more feel behind it.**

**Feels, Feels, MOTHERFUCKING FEELS.**

**I'm sorry you guys, I just came back from a wedding and listening to Lana Del Rey. She's amazing and you all will deal. **

**Also, I hope you guys like what I did for Damon's back story. I think it gives a lot of depth into who he was and how he wants Bonnie to see him. Same for her. Let me know!**

**Anyway, let me know what you thought. Review Review Review. **

**And check out my other story RED for Lydia and Derek. One of my friends told me my summary was enthralling. I hope the rest of it will be too!**


	33. Whole

**A/N: Hey you guys! So I've been busy. Don't shoot me. A lot has been going on blah blah blah. I have major rambling after the story, so PLEASE READ. I want to fill you guys in on everything**

**Anybody miss Damon? I did.**

Chapter Thirty Three: Whole

**Damon**

Bonnie was crouched in a fighter's stance, palms open and fingers spread. My fangs dropped and my vision increased tenfold. We were circling each other slowly in the middle of the forest. I could see each strand of hair on her head and the green that had fully eclipsed her eyes. She said it started happening the more she used magic. I think it happened the more she became comfortable with who she was.

I moved quickly.

Bonnie shouted a spell and swung her arm. I twisted my body out of the way and landed in a crouch. Her lips were moving, I could hear the incantations on her lips and feel the magic rising inside me. Her eyes narrowed and her hair was starting to float in that wind that only touched her. She was beautiful when she was like this, in her element. The world paled in comparison and I noticed something new about her the more I stared.

She fired the spell at me and I had just enough time to roll out of the way before she fired the next one. Heat and magic flew past my head so fast, I smelled the stench of singed hairs. I somersaulted on the ground, grabbed a rock, and threw it at her hard. She caught the rock with her magic, spun, and sent it flying right back at me just as fast. I batted it away with my hand and focused on her.

"Best you got, witch?" I licked my lips.

"You aren't ready for my best, vampire. I could scatter you all over these woods."

"And what would you do with my dick?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

She smiled innocently. "Birds eat worms. I thought you knew?"

I launched myself at Bonnie and I felt her latch on to that part inside of me, the thing that kept me alive. I swung and she dodged, she swung and I ducked. We blocked each other's punches and avoided each other's legs. Bonnie jumped when I went low and tried to trip her, and then brought her fist down a few inches from my face. There was a hole where she'd punched, and when I was about to get back to my feet, she sent me flying backwards.

And she didn't let up. Hex after hex, spell after spell, she fired her magic at me like a machine gun. She kept moving, arms out and lips chanting, never letting me breathe. If I didn't get the fuck up soon, she might think she could win this. As much as I loved her, I couldn't let that happen. I smirked at the thought.

I took a hex to the arm and got to my feet. I ran up into a tree, braced my feet against it, and launched myself into another one right beside it. Bonnie's hair was full on floating now, whipping at her face as she called to her magic. I could feel it rising inside of me like a tidal wave, waiting to crash with her next spell. The wind began to blow harder as she focused on me. She always hated when I went into trees.

I grabbed a branch and threw it at her.

I followed it the second it left my hand, trailing behind it like a second missile. She managed to knock the branch away in time, but hadn't been expecting me. She braced herself at the last second and used the momentum from our collision to send me flying over her head. I grabbed the front of her sweat shirt and pulled her with me. We rolled like a ball twice before I landed on top of her and shoved her back into the ground.

"What was that about you scattering me all over the woods?" I asked.

She smiled. "Bye Damon."

"Bye?" I asked. "What the fu-"

I was being yanked upward into the sky. I saw Bonnie put her arms behind her head as I went flying further and further away from the floor of the woods. I was kicking and reaching at something to grab but it was pointless. Bonnie had made sure to get me in a spot away from trees, keeping me in the very center of the woods.

My girl was clever.

Then, I started to fall. Being a vampire meant that heights weren't an issue for me anymore, but I still got that pit fall feeling in my gut. I swung at the air as I fell, trying to find a way to land effectively, but the shit wasn't going to happen. If there had been a building around, maybe I could've hopped. The tallest fucking building in Mystic Falls was miles away from here. If I hit the ground now, I'd break almost every bone in my body. Bonnie really could scatter me if she wanted to.

The ground got closer and so did Bonnie. She went from being a dot on the ground to blob, then a reclining figure with a smug smirk for a face. The more I fell towards the ground, the more I fell towards her, the faster everything seemed to go. The wind picked up in my ears, I took a breath.

I stopped right over her body.

She kept me there levitating above her. "I win."

"Like hell you did," I said. "You sent me freefalling. If I'd hit the ground, maybe."

Wrong thing to say. Wrong fucking thing to say.

Bonnie blinked and I went flying away from her. I hit the ground hard, rolling over onto my side and cursing loudly. I hated when she won, but I couldn't be mad at her. It only meant she was getting better with her magic. That was all I wanted anyway.

She was standing over me. "You were saying?"

I grabbed her and yanked her to the ground, pulling her under me. She smiled and bit her lip, rolling them in before she leaned up and kissed me. My hands went on both sides of her face as I kissed her back, settling myself between her legs and sucking her bottom lip. She tasted like magic and that lip gloss I hated. Bonnie arched her back and wrapped her legs around my waist.

"You didn't win." I told her between kisses.

"You hit the ground, didn't you?" she replied.

"Your spells were ill timed and your precision sucks."

"Says the rip in your sleeve."

We were kissing again, clothes were disappearing. My shirt was tossed somewhere to my right and her sweatshirt and t-shirt got the same treatment. Her breast were full and her stomach was flat, everything glistening with sweat. She could drive a man fucking insane if she knew how to. Looking at the glint in her eye, I knew she knew what she could do to me if she wanted to.

I pulled her on top of me.

"You did great." I told her.

"Really?" she asked. "Looking back on it my spells were a little off."

I trailed my finger down her stomach. "We'll work on it."

Looking up at her, that smiled that lit up her whole face, I felt that warm feeling I always got when I was with her. I put my hands on her hips and listened to her breathe. One of the best parts about Bonnie was that she knew how to be in a moment. We could get to a point and just stop and she could hang in there. No questions or annoying ticks like most people. Bonnie was the last of a dying breed.

And she was thinking again.

The downside to Bonnie being in a moment is that if you didn't keep her busy long enough, she started thinking. If I wasn't her familiar, it wouldn't have been a problem. Since I now could sense her thoughts and emotions, it didn't bode well for my nerves.

"You think a lot." I said.

"I don't want to be around for the day I don't think." She said.

Maybe she needed weed. "I wonder what you're like when you're high."

She shrugged. "I listen to techno music and do my nails."

I looked at her. "What?"

"We all got high, ate a bunch of cookies, then I went home, put on techno music, and did my nails."

"I'm not surprised." I said. "Weirdly enough, I'm not surprised."

"It wouldn't suit you at this point." She said.

I waited for a few seconds, and then reminded her. "Are you going to tell me?"

"Tell you…what exactly?" She asked.

"What you were thinking about just now."

"I don't want to."

"But you will."

She sighed and I could tell she was trying to figure out how to word it. I knew she was worried about pissing me off, but moved past it. Bonnie's emotions spun like a top and came in so many different colors it was like a kaleidoscope in my mind.

Finally she said, "There's a spell I can do. A spell that can help Elena."

"No."

Bonnie started talking really fast. "Okay, I said that wrong. It's a spell to stop the Originals and can keep all of us safe. Once I do it, Elena doesn't have to worry about being the doppelganger anymore and Klaus can-"

"No."

"Damon seriously," she said. "I've gotten stronger and-"

"List the properties of Sage." I said.

"It can help rid a place or residence of harmful spirits." She said quickly.

"I said properties. That's one."

She looked up and racked her brain, trying to find the answer. I didn't give her that kind of time.

"Which spells are more effective with a pentagram?"

"Mostly rituals, they're-"

"How do you get to the other side?" I cut her off.

"You can go to the other side?" she asked, eyes widening.

"You aren't doing the spell." I told her. "The answer is no."

She looked at me for a second, then got off me. I stood with her as the both of us pulled on our shirts. The earlier playful mood was gone and now I could feel the argument about to happen like electricity in the air. I didn't give a damn what Bonnie said. She wasn't doing that damn spell. She wasn't doing any spell related to Elena.

"You can't tell me what to do, Damon." She said. "I want to do this. This is something I want."

"Tell me something," I asked. "What happened?"

"What do you mean?"

I zipped up my jeans. "I mean what the fuck happened between the last time I saw you and now to make you think doing whatever kind of spell you're planning is okay?"

"This will work, Damon." She said. "I know I'm not explaining it right, but-"

"That's not something you can explain. You're telling me you want to try killing yourself and you expect me to be on board."

"That's not what I'm saying." She moved forward and grabbed my hand. I took it away from her.

"Melissa told you what would happen if you tried something like that."

"She told me what would happen if I tried to do the spell to take the magic off Elena's blood."

"You just said you had a spell that would make it so Elena wouldn't have to worry about being the doppelganger anymore. What the fuck do you think that means?"

"Don't talk to me like that." She said, eyes flashing.

"Then don't come to me with half assed plans and idiot logic and expect me to be okay with it. Melissa told me that if you attempted it in anyway, even messed with the kind of magic on Elena's blood, that you'd die. That magic is ancient, Bonnie. You won't win."

"You and Melissa talked about that?" she asked. "What did she say?"

"You aren't hearing me." I told her. "You will die."

"What did Melissa say?" she asked again.

"Don't ignore what I'm telling you." I said, glaring.

"I'm not ignoring you," Bonnie said. "But if you and Melissa are still talking to each other about my magic, then I think I have a right to know."

"So you can not listen to that too?" I asked.

Bonnie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "Damon, I just want to do something to keep all of us safe, to keep _you_ safe."

"Don't make this shit about me!" My teeth were gritted. "We just got you out of being suicidal, what the fuck?"

I was pissed and she couldn't understand why. We stood there arguing for ten minutes in the middle of the woods because she didn't see it as backtracking.

"So what was the point then?"

"What point?"

"The point of you telling Elena it was okay that you didn't want to die for her?" I shot back.

"I wouldn't be dying Damon." She said. "I'm going to bind the magic on Elena's blood. If I bind it, it contains the magic, it doesn't remove it. The magic on her blood would be useless."

"Any goddamn spell that comes into contact with that blood automatically backfires." I told her. "You think you're more powerful than Ester? You think because you compelled a town full of idiots and booby trapped a ring than you're more powerful than that? Yeah fucking right."

Bonnie looked hurt for a second, but her face blanked over. We stood there, staring each other down and waiting for the other one to say something. The wind was whipping through the trees with her mood. Bonnie broke first.

"Powerful enough to save your ass." She said looking smug.

"What did you say?"

"You heard me." She said. "I came in a house full of vampires and saved your ass. I got rid of a bitch that if you and your brother knew any better would've staked her the second you got the chance. That was me. I don't see anybody working curses or doing spells around here but me, and if I say I can do it then I can."

"Don't let it go to your head Bonnie." I told her. "You've got power, but you aren't that powerful. You _just_ started learning how to use it. You can't even experience an intense emotion without the fucking trees swaying."

They stopped the second I said it.

"You aren't ready." I told her. "End of discussion."

"I'm powerful enough to open a tomb for you, but I can't bind a curse?" She asked. "I'm powerful enough to-"

"To what Bonnie?" I asked in a low voice. "To what? I'll tell you what you aren't powerful enough for."

"And what's that?"

"You weren't powerful enough to keep Jonas from stealing your magic."

"That's old," she said. "He can't do it again."

"You aren't powerful enough to raise the dead."

"I've brought Jeremy back so many times he has a fucking round trip ticket to wherever the hell he goes."

"Really?" I asked. "And where's Shelia?"

Bonnie went still. Completely and utterly fucking still.

"Watch it Damon." She said, voice low. "That's not what you want."

"Answer the question." I asked. "You're so fucking powerful, you know every goddamn thing, where's Shelia?"

Bonnie's fist balled so hard I could see her veins in her hands. "You know it doesn't work like that."

"Why?" I asked. "Because she won't be the same when she comes back?"

"Stop."

"No I'm serious." I said. "I want to know. You can save my ass, you can bring back Jeremy, but the one person that really fucking matters you draw a blank on. Help me out."

"Witches can't be brought back. It's against nature." She said.

"And fucking Jeremy Gilbert can live to see another day? Elena's kid brother or an elder witch with extensive knowledge on how to protect. Whiny fucking nuisance or a witch with life experience and more magic than two of you combined. Don't brag about how powerful you are when you can't even bring back your dead grandmother. I shouldn't be surprised though, Bonnie Bennett can move a mountain for someone else, but ask her to do something for herself and she draws a fucking blank."

Lightning struck the side of my face so hard I actually blinked involuntarily. When I looked down, Bonnie was shaking so bad I thought she'd collapse. She straightened back up from where she slapped me, and balled up her fists again. We were inches from each other, and when I reached out with my mind I could feel her anger burning so hot it was like the sun against my skin.

"Don't you _ever_ say that to me again." Her voice was unwavering.

"You-" I started, but she cut me off.

"I don't care." She said. "Don't you _ever_ say that to me again."

Bonnie had told me plenty of things in our relationship, both as enemies, allies, and lovers, but she'd never given me a direct order before. Looking at her now, remembering what I said, I could see why. She needed to know what she was doing was stupid, what she was planning was dumber than anything I'd ever heard. Using her magic to even touch Esther's would result in Bonnie dying. Melissa had said so herself. Esther was old magic. The kind of magic that was unhindered and didn't have as many rules. As a matter of fact, Esther was the reason magic had all of those rules. If Bonnie thought she could undo what that crazy bitch did, she'd get herself killed.

Whether she knew it, believed it, or even cared at this point; I loved her too much to let it happen.

"I won't." I told her.

Bonnie nodded and wiped at her face. She ran her fingers through her hair and pushed it back, a habit she, Elena, and Caroline all shared. Bonnie was exhaling to the point of puffing out her cheeks to keep it together, but her tears were coming faster and her breaths were becoming shakier. She sniffed hard and sighed.

"Can you take me home?" she asked.

I nodded. "Yeah."

In the car, neither of us spoke to each other. She was staring out of her window, her whole body facing away from me, and I was keeping my eyes on the road. Every so often I saw her wipe at her face and push her hair back. I didn't want her to get out of the car, but we were at her house before I knew it.

I didn't bother killing the engine. When I looked at Bonnie, the girl I loved, I realized that I'd said what I'd said because of that fact. I loved her. How did you explain to someone that you didn't want them to hurt themselves because you didn't know what you would do? How did you explain to someone that you didn't want to lose them because you'd just found them? Maybe we hadn't done it the traditional way, but love was love. I wanted her safe and happy.

Right now, I could settle for safe.

Bonnie got out of the car and I watched her walk up the steps. When she was inside and I felt her cast the protection spell on her house like she always did, I pulled off and drove back to the boarding house. I thought about turning on music, but Trent couldn't help me right now. Maybe Jack could though.

Back at the house, Elena was on the sofa looking sad. I was about to keep walking but she said my name.

"Damon?"

Feelings to the back, wall up. "Hey."

When I looked at Elena now, something had shifted. I don't know if it was because I'd stopped trying to be with her or the fact that I'd found someone else, but it just wasn't there like it used to be. She was still beautiful, but it wasn't the end all be all I always thought it was. Her hair was great, but it hung there. Her eyes were pretty, but they were dark and didn't really do anything special. She had great skin, but there were no real undertones. Elena was amazing and plain, nice to look at but kind of boring.

I wanted Bonnie. Fuck, I wanted Bonnie.

"Hello?" Elena waved her hand, smiling. "You in there?"

"Not really." I told her.

"Must be something in the air, everyone's spacing out."

"Possibly. You never know here."

"Right." She said. "It'd be my luck if it were connected to me."

Like most things.

"I feel like I haven't seen you in awhile." Elena said.

If I wasn't here, I was at Bonnie's. If we weren't at her house, we were here alone. I timed it that way.

"I'm around." I said.

"Not as much as you used to be." Elena replied. "I used to see you all the time."

"You still do."

"I haven't seen you since we saved Matt." She said. "The last time before that was when…"

When Bonnie got me out of that place. And then we came back here. And she told me she loved me for the first time.

I was an asshole. Fuck, I was an asshole.

I shrugged. "You've got school and Stefan, it's pretty consuming."

"I've always had school and Stefan. I saw you more then than I ever do now."

"Stefan's protecting you." I told her. "I'm out checking for anything to stop the Klaus."

"I'm sorry you have to do that." She said.

"Eh, don't worry about it. Shit happens, we knew it was going to happen."

"The vision Bonnie had, right?" Elena said. "Stefan told me."

There was her name again. What the hell was I thinking earlier?

"Yeah." I said. "That's the one."

"Damon, are you okay?" Elena asked. "You're not Chatty Kathy today."

"If I was ever Chatty Kathy, you shoot me execution style."

She laughed a little. "You know what I mean."

"Stuff on my mind." I told her. "Nothing serious."

Everything serious.

"Do you need to talk?" she asked, looking concerned.

"I'm good." I told her.

But she was looking at me, staring me in the eyes and tilting her head with her conclusions. We all knew you couldn't get much past Elena unless you downright lied to her, but this was starting to get out of hand. I wasn't sticking around for this shit. I had whiskey and passing out to do.

"You know," she said, getting up. "In my experience whenever you were too quiet, bad things happened."

"I've been working on that." I said dismissively.

She caught it. She looked dejected. "Okay, nevermind."

I stopped her. "What's going on with you? You didn't exactly look happy when I came in."

"Stuff on my mind." She said.

"Stefan, huh?" I smirked.

"You know me." She shrugged.

"Put on some White Snake and dress up like Tawny Kitaen. Problem solved."

Elena put her hands in her back pockets. "If it were that easy."

"My brother's pretty easy." I told her. "He gets in his moods, but you can get him out of it."

"It's just that," Elena started. "He and I haven't been seeing eye to eye lately. You know?"

"You guys are a couple." I said. "It happens. Plus, Stefan's always going to be seventeen. He's going to bitch until someone stakes him."

"How old were you when you were turned?" she asked.

"Twenty Two." I told her.

"That's still really young." She said coming to stand by me. "I couldn't imagine."

"Still don't want to be a vampire? I thought you'd come around by now." I joked.

Elena shook her head. "I'm sure it'd make things easier, but no. Living forever and not having kids isn't on my radar."

"You weren't going to be having kids with Stefan." I said.

She shrugged. "I still like the option, you know?"

I didn't, but I let her go on anyway.

"If I ask you something, it stays between us?" She asked, looking at me.

"Doesn't it always?" I asked.

She smiled and looked down. "Is it wrong that I want to be human for me, not for me and Stefan?"

"You shouldn't have to ask if it's okay to be yourself." I told her.

"Sometimes I want to break up with him." Elena confessed. "Sometimes I think it'd be easier for him to be…I don't know, better for him if he isn't always worried about me."

"He worries about you because he doesn't think anyone else can do a better job of protecting you than he can."

"You do a pretty good job." She said. "Not that you should have to."

"Because to me, protecting you doesn't mean sheltering you from the world. It means occasionally telling you one thing and doing another and dealing with the fallout later. Stefan doesn't know how to do that and uphold his moral superiority."

Elena sighed. Her shoulders slumped. "I feel so immoral around him."

"The Golden Girl, really?" I teased.

"I'm far from golden." She said. "You know that."

I did know that. Elena liked excitement and adventure, much like any other person would. Hers just happened to be on steroids because she was a doppelganger, but it didn't change it none the less. She didn't want to be made to feel guilty because she liked these things. She said as such.

"Caroline calls me a Danger Whore." Elena chuckled.

"It's probably wise that I don't touch that one." I replied.

"I just want more." She said. "I want to live a bigger life than I am right now, I want to experience things and make the wrong kinds of decisions and not feel bad about them. I want to want these things and Stefan not make me feel bad because if I do something it could set off some weird chain of events and everyone could die or something."

"There's nothing wrong with wanting any of that, you just have to take it for yourself. If you ask for permission to do something, you're always setting yourself up for a no. Do what you want, it's your life. The people you could've disappointed the most are gone. You won't disappoint yourself."

"Is that what you do?" she asked.

"It's what I've always done." I said. "I got the more free spirited genes and Stefan kind of got most of the morality. It helps if you think of him like Patrick Bateman."

"An American Psycho?" she laughed.

"A Yuppie who has it altogether on the outside, but is completely bat shit on the inside."

"I can see that." Elena said.

We were standing there as the silence settled. Even now, standing in front of the girl I thought I loved, all I could think about was the one I really did. How she smiled when I said something crazy, how she looked whenever she concentrated. How beautiful she was even when she was crying or angry or bitchy. I saw Bonnie in my head and it made that warmness spread through my chest.

And snapped me out of it just in time to stop Elena from trying to kiss me.

I leaned back and put my hands on her shoulders, pushing her back a little. "What are you doing?"

Her confusion was priceless.

I took my hands off her shoulders and took a step back. The both of us looked at each other, but I like to think it was in different ways. She was embarrassed but more than that she was confused. I was slowly and surely coming to realizations I should've come to before. The kind Alaric had tried to fill me in on for months.

If my feelings for Elena had been what they were before, I'd have relished in this moment. There was a time where Elena kissing me after her problems with Stefan that would make me feel like some kind of hero. I was making her feel better, maybe this time we could have something. It sucked because in my head, I knew it never would, but I'd always hoped anyway.

That wasn't my problem anymore.

And I always thought that if I ever did shoot Elena down, I'd do it in some way that would make her realize what she was missing. I'd dismiss her like every other girl I'd been with and move the hell on. She'd come crawling back, begging or some shit like that. It turns out, I didn't want her to.

"I just-I thought-"

"Look," I told her. "Don't worry about it."

She was still staring at me. I was still thinking about Bonnie.

"The issues you have with Stefan are the ones with Stefan." I told her. "He's who you love, make it work with him."

She didn't say anything, this shit was getting more awkward by the second.

"I'm gonna go." I told her.

I turned around and had almost made it to the door before she stopped me again.

"Why did you stop me?" she asked.

I turned around. "Because you're with Stefan."

"That never stopped you before." Elena said, looking curious.

I could've given her some long winded speech about how I wasn't going to be the one to keep playing emotional games with her. I could've told her that the fact that she was talking about my brother and trying to kiss me at the same time said more about her thoughts on all of us than she'd ever say. I could've told her not to be such a cock teasing little bitch with emotional damage so bad it was frightening.

Instead, I told the truth. "I'm with someone."

I didn't stick around for her response. i was out of the door and moving so fast the wind in my ears turned into a white noise. I knew where I wanted to be, should've never left in the first place. I could still feel Bonnie in the background of my thoughts, and I knew that she was still upset about earlier. The fact that she hadn't cut me off like she did last time made me hopefully I could make this right. I just wanted to be with her.

I ran up the side of her house and opened her window. Normally, the spell was meant to ward against anyone doing such a thing, but I was her familiar. I was immune to her magic most of the time unless she didn't want me to be. I was extremely happy this wasn't one of those times. She was lying down on her bed, facing away from the window. I climbed through quietly and took off my jacket, letting it fall on the floor and slipping out of my shoes.

When I lay down behind her, she flinched away from me.

"I'm sorry." I said. "I shouldn't have said that."

She still wasn't saying anything. I touched the curve of her hip lightly with my fingertips and moved closer, spooning her from behind.

"I don't like the thought of you hurting yourself. I'm pretty sure I say it in the most fucked up way possible, but that's what it is."

No response. I kept talking.

"Even if you think you won't hurt yourself, Bonnie, someone has to think about it. You've come a long way since nosebleeds and passing out. You don't need to go back."

There was nothing for awhile, just us and her breathing. Bonnie hadn't said anything but I could feel that she was still awake. I got tired of being ignored especially when all I wanted was her safety. I muttered "fuck this" under my breath and got up to move.

"I tried." She said, voice barely above a whisper.

I looked back at her and dropped my shoe on the floor. "Tried what?"

"To bring her back." She replied.

This was news to me.

"The properties of Sage are to clear out spirits, but when it's lit, it can be used as a guide for them as well. I spent a whole day trying everything I could to bring her back. I plead to deities I wasn't even sure existed. I used the magic from the spirits. I did everything Damon. I tried everything."

"After my fourth nosebleed and my dad found me unconscious in the hotel we were staying in, Grams visited me. She told me that since witches were the embodiment of nature, since we served and kept balance, that we didn't have the same rules that humans and everything else had. If we were dead, we were dead. Nothing could bring us back. If we _did_ find some way to be brought back, we risk the chance of becoming _Inanimis_. Soulless."

"You don't come back right." I said in a low voice.

"We don't come back whole." She corrected.

"How can you bring Jeremy back?" I asked. "He still has his soul, right?"

"Humans are more or less complicated." Bonnie said. "Because a human can become anything, they have a little more supernatural leeway. Kill them and they become a vampire. Bite them and they become a werewolf. You may even get a hybrid here and there. Witches are born, not made. We are what we are. We're plenty supernatural so there's no leeway for us."

I felt like the biggest dick imaginable.

"So that's where my Grams is." Bonnie said. "That's why I'm not powerful enough to bring her back."

I tried to turn Bonnie towards me, but she pushed me off shaking her head. "Damon, stop."

"Look at me." I said.

"I really don't want to."

"But you will." I said, hoping.

It was a whole minute before she did, but she turned on her other side and faced me. Her face was tear streaked, but she'd stopped crying awhile ago. She looked hurt and numb at the same time, both of them fighting for control. She watched me as I lay back beside her, putting my hand close to hers.

"You're amazing." I told her. "More than anything you're powerful."

She was about to say something, but I stopped her.

"You don't get the credit you deserve, you've more than done your fair share of magic. I know you can do things I couldn't even begin to imagine. I know you can do things I can't even dream of. I'd go out on a limb and bet everything that you're the most powerful witch I know. The most powerful one I've ever seen. The potential you have, the things you've done, they outshine any and everything I've ever thought possible Bonnie, and I get to witness it."

"What I'm saying is," and I tried to find the words. "I know you can do the spell. The spell to bind the magic on Elena's blood is a good one. It's a great plan. If I'm not mistaken, if you bind the magic on Elena's blood, it'll stop the powers the Originals have, right?"

Bonnie nodded. "We wouldn't have to worry about them."

"And how big is the spell?" I asked.

"Damon," she started.

"How big?" we were close to each other, my hand was on hers.

"It's powerful." She said. "It's bigger than anything I've ever done."

"And you could die, right?" I asked.

"I could die from any spell I do, Damon." She said. "I can't stop using magic because I might die."

"When you die from making feathers float, I'll believe you." I said.

She looked down. "I can do it, Damon. I know I can."

"I know you can." I said. "But I'm asking you not to. Please."

The word came out more less strained than I thought it would. I hadn't said the word like this, this intense, since Katherine. I didn't know what it said about me then, but I know what it was saying right now. I didn't want Bonnie to hurt herself. Fuck a greater good. We could find another way.

Bonnie looked at me and I saw her eyes soften. "I don't think you've ever said that before."

"I don't make a habit out of it." I told her. "Increases value."

"Say it again." She said.

"Please don't do the spell." I said. "Don't try it, don't do it behind my back, just don't do it. We can find another way. I'll help you look."

"I won't." she said. "I won't do the spell."

I kissed her forehead.

She moved closer to me, tangling our legs. "You're helping me find something else. It was a good spell."

"I know." I said holding her. "Give me a few days, I'll find something. Okay?"

Bonnie nodded. "Okay."

When Bonnie fell asleep, I reached in my pocket for my phone. I scrolled through my contacts and got to the R's. Roman's name popped up and I pressed his number, calling him.

"Two calls in the same year?" He answered the phone. "I might think you still love me."

I smiled. "I need another favor."

"Don't you always?" he asked.

"You're still screwing that professor right?" Damon asked. "The Occult one?"

"Mythology, Damon." Roman corrected. "You know he gets very testy when you say Occult."

"Get me a meeting with him." I said.

"Why should I?" he asked.

"I'm bringing Bonnie."

Roman was texting in my ears. "Is Saturday good for you?"

"That'll work."

We hung up and I looked down at Bonnie. I kissed the top of her head and pushed her hair behind her ear and out of her face. It wasn't until this moment, that I realized how much I'd do anything for her, how much I wanted to.

It wasn't until then, in the room, in bed with the girl I loved that I felt whole.

**A/N: First and foremost, let me say this. While I don't have a tumblr, I stalk it religiously and I found out that last week (If I'm not mistaken) was Bamon week. I saw all of the fan art for "Adverse Effects" which is very beautifully written by the way, and I just thought it was amazing how many people really love Bamon.**

**With that being said. EPIC-NERDRAGE this chapter was just for you.**

**I was bored in the back of my American Studies class and I saw your GIFs for Effervescent. I couldn't believe it. I literally covered my mouth and gasped in the back of the classroom. I was so floored. You took one of my favorite parts of the story and gave it life and I...Thank you. Like legit, no bullshit, thank you so much. I didn't picture Nicole Kidman for Melissa, but even I can admit you nailed it. And I mean NAILED IT. I thought about it all day. I swear you made my Thursday so much better.**

**To the rest of you usual suspects, you know I love you. And for all of you still reading, waiting patiently, and sticking with me through the Effervescent machine, I love you. It means so much to me as a writer who plans on writing my own original fiction to see that you guys respond so well. Having conversations about my work like it's awesome, YOU GUYS MAKE ME FEEL SO AWESOME! Fuck, I'm gonna cry lol.**

**Anyway, Bonnie and Damon are heading back to Charm City. I can't promise it'll be as romantic though, and they won't be going back immediately in this next chapter. Things are heading towards that real place it went the last time. The upside is that we get to see Roman and Melissa again. I hope you're all as excited as I am.**

**Another thing that I wanted to let you guys in on. I want to do another Bamon story (please hold your boos lol) but I've decided that I want Lucy to be in it. You know? I really liked her as a character and I hate that she made a promise three seasons ago and no one allowed her to come back. Maybe with Bonnie being dead…I don't know.**

**And speaking of Bonnie being dead, I hope I provided something for you guys. I saw on tumblr someone asked why she couldn't bring Grams back and I hope that I gave a little of an answer, even if it is mainly my own. Someone also said that Ian was starting to look his age and that they better wrap it up before it's time to break out the walker. I laughed for a good twenty minutes. The loud howling kind that makes people look at you. I'm not sure if I really see Ian or Kat in my head, it's a little difficult to focus on them sometimes, but the end product is the same. And my Damon has better hair. Like freaking Ben Barnes hair. It's gorgeous, and you all will deal.**

**I'm neglecting the hell out of my teen wolf fic, which I redid the chapter for in case anyone was reading it. I need to get back on my game! Screw school, write fanfiction. **

**You're all amazing. I'll be working on the next chapter. Back to this paper I'm supposed to be writing. **


	34. Embrace

**A/N: Been gone for a minute, now I'm back with…this chapter. **

**We have much to discuss.**

Chapter Thirty Four: Embrace

I had a feeling things were going to get bad.

At first I thought I was just being me, but the more I moved around my room getting ready for school, the more the feeling intensified. I thought back over the things that had happened over the past couple of weeks, and looked for any loose ends I could've found.

After I used the proper location spell, Damon and I had gone to the place where Jonas had been staying. It looked like a regular house, especially on the inside, and I recognized the room Jonas had collapsed in when I snatched his power from Damon. Of course he wasn't there or anywhere inside of the place, not that I'd expected him to be in the first place.

Which left me with Alex. The last time I'd seen him, he'd been trying to get me to hurt him. I could still remember the look in his eyes and the smile on his face. He'd been noticeably, to me at least, absent during chemistry. Disappearing around the same time Jonas did. Maybe they were together. Maybe they'd gotten the hell out Mystic Falls.

Katherine wasn't even a factor at this point.

I pulled on my jacket and flipped my hair out of the back of it. My reflection looked better than I felt. My hair was cooperating today, straight and falling into the neat layers I'd touched up myself. My skin was clear and had a glow to it. My eyes were greener than they ever had been before, the traces of my original eye color completely gone. Damon said he liked this better anyway.

When I thought about him, a little bit of what I was feeling fell away and that warmth spread through me. Our last fight wasn't the worst we'd had, but it'd brought us closer somehow. I was never one to believe that arguing or fighting in a relationship was healthy in any form, but I couldn't argue with the results I was getting. I noticed we only argued when I tried to do something that would hurt me. He only got mad when I didn't think of myself.

There were times when I wanted to question what we were doing. I would wake up next to him and not know how it'd gotten this far. He would smile at me, really smile, and I wouldn't remember what made him trust me so much. People spent years trying to find what I'd bumped into in a matter of weeks. Had we gone too fast? Had I'd given up my virginity too soon? Had I called my feelings love simply because I'd never felt them before?

But then I realized something about myself, about the both of us. Damon and I weren't really like everyone else. While Elena and Caroline had their moments to be normal and trade lovers and flip and flop, neither me nor Damon had. He and I had been thrust into situations where the true nature of who we were surfaced and showed itself. He was cunning and ruthless. I was selfless and sincere. He was clear cut and multifaceted. I considered and over analyzed everything. He loved hard and fast and passionately. I loved deeply and intensely, unwaveringly. Maybe we didn't have to spend years trying to figure out everything about each other.

All of the things we needed to know, we already did.

I knew that above anything else, I trusted Damon with everything. I reminded myself about that whenever I thought about my virginity. Love was fleeting and had too many facets and definitions. Trust was one solid thing that depended on you. I love Damon, but I had sex with him because I trusted him. That was the emotion I'd never felt before. Not from my workaholic father or my abandoning mother or my judgmental friends. Grams and Matt aside, Damon was the only person I felt comfortable with. He was the only person who got me the way I was, not for who they saw.

It made me love him even more.

I wished he was here, but he was at the boarding house with Stefan discussing the plans for our trip back to Charm City. He was telling Stefan we were going back to Atlanta again, another source having come up. When I asked him why he didn't just tell Stefan the truth Damon explained something vastly profound.

"Stefan will run a resource dry." Damon said. "The reason Melissa still helps me is because I understand vampire drama isn't her problem. She doesn't' deal with it. Do you know what would've happened if Melissa knew about Elena being a doppelganger? If Stefan had come to her with it over and over?"

I had a clue. "What?"

"She'd have killed her."

I didn't have a clue. "You're serious?"

"Yes." Damon said. "Melissa isn't much for the emotional aspect of things. She's only loved one man and she protects witches. If she'd known what you were doing to yourself to help a vampire, to keep a doppelganger which is a weapon in the wrong hands alive, she'd have killed Elena. Mainly because Stefan made it her problem."

"Won't it be her problem when we go back?" I'd asked. "We're going there to find out how to stop the Originals. It's in her city."

"But it doesn't concern her directly." Damon told me. "A spider in your house isn't the problem, a spider in your face is."

Damon knew I hated spiders.

And speaking of keeping things, the secret of Damon and I was still something I grappled with. On one hand, I loved that it was just us. I'd seen the effect of everyone knowing or being a part of your relationship. You couldn't go around certain people, couldn't talk as freely in front of others, had to stand awkwardly to the side and try not to meet anyone else's eyes. It was way too much.

On the other hand, I wasn't ashamed of what I felt for Damon. Yeah, he'd done some pretty screwed up things, most likely because he's screwed up person, but we were all screwed up here. Elena was a boy crazy walking curse with a fascination with danger. Caroline was a bitchy cheerleading vampire with abandonment issues. Stefan was a self loathing vampire with a mean streak. I was a witch with magic that boomed and faltered with my emotions and loved a vampire's lips all over me.

We were all mad here.

Still though, as I locked the door and got in my car, I decided I would tell Matt about me and Damon. I figure if I could tell him, everyone else was kind of easy. None of my friends were saints which was probably why they were still my friends. Hopefully it would play out like it did in my head.

Matt would roll his eyes and ask me if I was crazy. When I told him no, he would say I was, but hopefully he would have enough common sense to see that everything was right in front of him the whole time and be used to it.

Caroline would say eww really loudly and tell me all the reasons why it was disgusting and that I should know better than to do something so dangerous as to sleep with Damon. At least, she would until I pointed out that she'd pursued him as well. Maybe he'd taken advantage of her, but I remember how she wanted to get back at Elena for getting Stefan's attention.

Elena…she had a boyfriend. Her reaction was null and void. There was a time when I'd have never thought that, but it was true.

Jeremy was the only problem I could think of, and the fact that I hadn't seen much of him lately was starting to click. The last time I did see him, he was staring at a space beside him and he had this conflicted look in his eyes. I'd started to go up to him, but before I could, he'd nodded, turned, and gone back into the school.

Damon had made it clear on more than one occasion that while he enjoyed our privacy, he really didn't care whether I told anyone about us or not. It was my business as much as it was his. And besides, he'd already told Alaric.

"You told Alaric?" I asked.

"Awhile ago." He said.

"To which he responded?"

"I think he was just happy I wasn't obsessing over Elena anymore." Damon said. "

Weren't we all?

Pulling into the school parking lot felt different. Maybe it was the overcast sky or maybe it was the fact that Mark Dewitt had driven his father's monster truck to school, but just the feel of it wasn't as normal as it used to be. Some kind of energy crackled in the air, that sense of something happening or about to. I grabbed my bag and got out of my car, looking around for Matt.

When I found him, he was sitting on a bench outside butchering Spanish. I sat on the table beside him.

"I don't think it's supposed to sound like that." I told him.

"Fine," he said as he shoved the book at me. "You say it."

I took the book and read it twice. "_Sarah y su hermano fueron a la biblioteca_."

Matt snatched the book away. "I hate you sometimes."

"You could never hate me." I said with a smile.

"Never." He said.

"No matter what I did." I continued, looking away from him.

"Nope." He repeated.

"Or, you know, choices I made."

"Nah, you're pretty responsible."

Shit. "Well I'm irresponsible sometimes."

He shook his head as he stared back in his Spanish book. "Nah. The most irresponsible thing I've seen you do is get drunk, but even then you just go sit down."

I thought about the last time I'd been drunk. Shit.

I decided to stop bullshitting. "What would you do if I did something you didn't think was responsible?"

"Tell you I didn't think it was responsible."

Matt Donovan was a boy through and through.

"I mean," I said, sliding off the table and beside him on the bench. "What if I did something that you just couldn't deal with? Like something that went against what you thought was right."

"My ex girlfriend's a vampire, my other ex girlfriend is dating one, my best friends are a witch, a werewolf, and a medium. Right's been shot and buried."

I kind of took comfort in that, but not really. "You're a medium too."

"I haven't seen a ghost in almost a year." Matt said.

"You aren't trying." I said.

"Don't think I'll start."

Before I could say anything, he kept going. "Bonnie I trust you. If you've done something, if you're doing something, you're one of the few people I can say would actually have a reason for it. The rest of us do stupid shit all the time. You're the only one who has a pretty decent reason for everything."

Matt was looking at me now, blue eyes focused. I'd always thought it whenever I looked at him, but I always thought the expression "honest blue eyes" applied to people like him. When he looked at me the way he was, I went from wanting to tell him to being conflicted about the whole thing. I thought I had it bad until I realized Matt had it worse. If there was anyone of us who shouldn't trust anyone it was him. His mother was a failure, his best friend slept with her, and right now the people he did trust, mainly me and Jeremy, were gold to him.

I didn't want to be like Tyler and his mother. I couldn't.

"Thanks for saying that." I said.

He nodded. "No problem. Can you cast a spell so I know Spanish?"

"It'd probably be the only thing you knew." I said. "You wouldn't understand English."

"That doesn't sound good."

"Not in Mystic Falls where the closest Spanish thing is the Taco Bell in Richmond."

"That's still there?" he asked.

"On its last leg." I said.

He nodded. "Are you going to tell me what choices you're making?"

"You sound like a concerned parent." I said.

"Maybe if we had them, things would go differently."

Couldn't argue there, although my dad was trying.

"I'll tell you later." I said. "Can I come by?"

"Yeah, sure." He said. "You can help me study."

I could do that with him. You know, before I ruined his trust.

When the bell rang, I went to History. It was weird because as many times as I came here, it was only today that I was aware of actually being in History. Mainly I zoned out unless Caroline and Elena were talking to me, but mostly they were too busy zoning out themselves.

Today was different.

Caroline was chatting like she normally was, but Elena was only half paying attention. I knew the look. She had something on her mind, but unless we pulled it out of her, which meant that Caroline would do most of the pulling while I was there for moral support, we weren't getting anywhere. I sat down in my usual seat and greeted the both of them.

"Thank god," Caroline said as she shook her head. "Now I don't have to keep talking to a zombie."

"I'm not a zombie." Elena said.

"You've been sitting there looking constipated for like the past five minutes. Either tell us what's wrong or get over it so we can figure out what to wear to the Spring Formal."

"We're still having one?" I asked.

"Did you really just insult me like that?" Caroline asked. "Do you not see the hand drawn, hand glittered, flyers everywhere?"

I never paid attention to the hallways. I knew the school colors and the mascot were everywhere. Everything else just kind of fell by the wayside. I shrugged.

"Ugh!" Caroline blurted. "You're just as bad as Elena!"

"Not even." I said. "I can at least pretend to look interested."

"The both of you can bite me." Elena smiled sweetly.

"Stefan's got that covered." Caroline said. "Where is Broody Salvatore anyway?"

"He's on his way." Elena said. She didn't sound enthusiastic.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Confused mostly, but yeah." She confessed.

"If you're confused about wearing that puke green dress you were looking at last week, I can kill that for you now." Caroline said.

"Are you ever not shallow?" Elena asked.

"About as much as you're not self centered." Caroline winked. "Now what's your problem? I usually never want to kill you."

Elena opened her mouth to say something, but Stefan walked in.

"Later" she mouthed and turned around to speak to him. I realized it was probably the first time in a long time that I'd seen them not show up to class together. Since they'd started dating, they'd practically been synonymous together at Mystic Falls High. I wondered if Elena was still having those problems with Stefan. I hoped she could work them out.

That feeling I was having earlier came back with a vengeance. It was like a dropping feeling in the pit of my stomach, something that got stronger and stronger as the seconds passed. It was like something was coming towards me, like my magic was warning me about something. I only ever got these feelings right before visions, but nothing was happening yet. I hadn't blanked out; there was no transportation into a future event.

Rebekah walked into my history class.

The feeling stopped the second I laid eyes on her, and was replaced by my magic going on the offensive. If she tried anything, anything, she'd be on the floor in a matter of seconds. Her heels clicked on the tile as she stepped up to my teacher's desk and handed him her schedule. How she got one I didn't know, probably compulsion at its finest.

She turned to face the class who, of course, had gone silent. Rebekah didn't look like she came from Mystic Falls and she certainly didn't dress like it either. Her green blazer was something out of a catalog I'm sure only Caroline read and her jeans looked painted on. Her cream colored top looked like it was made from silk and her heels were black and peep toe. Her hair was probably the thickest I'd ever seen on anyone, falling in straight blond waves down to her waist. She smiled when she saw the four of our expressions, and blinked to the rest of the class.

"I'm Rebekah Mikaelson." She said. "Exchange student."

Everyone watched as she strolled between the rows of desks and found a seat. Unfortunately for me, the only seat left open was the one next to me. She sat down and crossed her legs putting her purse on the back of her chair and lacing her fingers together. Our teacher, who'd been dumbfounded by her appearance as well, stuttered into the history lesson.

I wanted to say it stopped there, but it didn't.

Rebekah and answered every question correctly and in that perfect British accent. No one else in the class, including me, even cared enough to answer questions, but because Rebekah was making it something to do, suddenly there was a discussion on slaves and trade systems throughout Eastern Europe. Rebekah made a joke about betting they wished they had Skype for business calls instead of parchment.

Everyone thought it was hysterical.

When class was over, none of us got the chance to get alone with her. She was swarmed by so many students I could barely get out of my own seat. When I finally was able to, Rebekah stopped me by calling my name.

"I believe we have Chemistry together." She said. "You'll be there won't you?"

My lunch period was spent in an empty classroom making Matt, Jeremy, and Elena drink vervain water while casting spells on Stefan and Caroline's daylight rings to keep them from being compelled. It would work for a short time, but Rebekah was still an original. If she put enough emphasis behind her power, they might be screwed.

"Why is she here?" Jeremy asked.

"My guess is that it's that summer solstice thing Katherine told us about." Stefan said.

For some odd reason, it felt weird to still be worried about it. Maybe I'd been too wrapped up in my own happiness to consider what was happening around me.

"But why would she come here?" Matt asked, wiping his mouth. He hadn't needed to drink the second bottle but he wanted to. "I mean, her being here isn't making it come any faster."

"Why do the Originals do anything they do?" Caroline shrugged. "You know someone said something about making her Spring Formal princess? She's only been here _two hours_!"

We all looked at her.

"Sorry." She said.

I'd figured out that Rebekah wanted something from me. I mean I'm sure that wasn't the primary reason for her being here, but I knew it was something she wanted. I didn't vocalize it though, I didn't want that kind of attention drawn to myself. I was texting Damon and letting him know everything that was going on. He was with Alaric somewhere on Whitmore campus. I wouldn't see him until later.

When everything was said and done, more had actually been said than done. The vampires were compulsion free and so were the humans. I didn't have to worry about any of that mainly because being a witch kept me away from such things, but I was more or less nervous about chemistry.

I was really starting to hate that class.

Jeremy caught up with me at my locker before I had to go. He smiled.

"I haven't seen you much." He said.

"I could say the same." I smiled back.

"Sorry," he said. "I've kind of been in my own world."

"I know how that is. Everything okay?"

"For the most part, just hating midterms."

There was some kind of silence that settled between us after that, and for the first time I could actually call it awkward. Not in the usual sense, but more so like we both usually had a lot more to say to each other and now the well was dry. Despite my relationship with Damon, I still considered Jeremy and I close, just not as close as it was getting. I wondered what was going on.

When I looked a little to my left, I saw.

She was short, dark haired, with slanted eyes and lightly tanned skinned. Her hair fell in curls and was parted down the middle, she was dressed in all black and a deep purple shirt. she was staring at Jeremy, and saying something to him, something I could barely hear.

"Ask her to hang out after school." She said. "Make your move this time."

It wasn't until she stopped talking and noticed me looking, that she froze and gasped.

Anna disappeared.

Jeremy, of course, did what she asked. "What are you doing after school?"

I blinked. "Going to Matt's."

"Stop by later?" He asked.

After just seeing Anna? "I can't. I'm cooking tonight."

He nodded. "I'll catch you later then."

I returned his nod. "Yeah, later."

On the list of things I hadn't been expecting, that was probably somewhere near the top. I thought Anna had moved on awhile ago, something Jeremy had told us all. Either he'd lied to all of us or she just started visiting him again. I wasn't really sure how she could still visit him, but I chalked it up to the same reason why grams could. Her telling him to ask me out spurred a series of assumptions and conclusions, but none I would vocalize just yet.

Rebekah kept her word on my chemistry class. She was sitting there entertaining other students, talking about London and how much she missed it. People asked questions and she answered, she made a joke and they laughed. When she tossed her hair over her shoulder, I saw at least three boys swoon. It was like that time Elena had come back Florida freshman year. She wore her hair differently and got a pair of hoop earrings and boys lost their minds.

The crowd parted to let me sit.

"Bonnie!" Rebekah said my name like we were old friends. "I've been waiting for you."

"You guys know each other?" someone asked.

"Of course we do." Rebekah smiled brightly. "Bonnie was on the exec board for me to come here."

The World Student Alliance held at school was one of the few decent programs Mystic Falls had to offer. It paired with three of the high schools and universities in the state to offer one student from each school the opportunity to study abroad for a month. Because people here, outside of the Lockwoods, didn't have that kind of money, no one really went. Tyler thought the whole thing was stupid, saying that if he really wanted to leave the country, he wouldn't do it for school.

How the hell Rebekah had gotten that much homework done worried me.

When the bell rang and Mr. Davis walked in, the class settled down and back into its normalcy. People still looked at Rebekah every now and then, but she wasn't answering questions like she had last class. Instead, she took the time to talk to me.

"I have to say, Mystic Falls is a lot more interesting than I thought." She said.

"You haven't been here long enough." I told her.

"Oh, I don't know." She went on. "It seems fairly nice here. Plenty of people just want to be around you for being different. It's amusing and tragic at the same time."

I didn't like that she, Katherine, and I had come to that conclusion.

"No one has a lick of fashion sense here, except maybe you and the other one."

"I'm going to assume you mean Caroline." I said.

"Right, that one."

I looked her right in the eyes. "Is there a reason why you're here."

"Yes." She said.

I waited and got no response. "Are you going to tell me?"

"It depends." She said.

"On?"

"How much you tell me." She smiled.

"I don't have anything to-"

"Oh come now," she cut me off. "I've been watching you for awhile. You have plenty of secrets."

"Not really." I said.

"So you and Damon Salvatore aren't together?" She looked confused. "You looked plenty together when he was fucking you in his room not that long ago."

I froze.

"There we are." She said in a playful voice. "You know the whole sex during a storm thing really is quite romantic. A little cliché for some, but I've always been a fan of love stories. I'd ask you how it was but I don't think anyone could miss how loud you were."

"Shut up."

"Who knew witches could be…what's the word these days? Screamers?"

My magic flared. I'd kill her.

"You made quite the mess at Alex's little compound. Personally I never liked the place, but you caved in a whole ceiling. Now that's the kind of power I haven't seen in ages."

I tried to keep the shock off my face, but I don't think it was working. Rebekah had seen and heard things I thought were only mine, it was a joke to her. More than that, she'd been watching us for some time. She'd only made herself known to us with the Matt situation. I could've screamed.

"Had to put _a lot_ of incompetent vampires down behind your little rescue mission, but the fun part was that I got to make more. Alex and Jonas did us a really big favor by testing your magic and how far you'd go to keep it pure, they told us a couple secrets as well. My job is make sure they're all true."

"I'm not telling you anything." I hissed. "Go to hell."

She laughed, full on laughed, and nobody so much as moved. Mr. Davis kept teaching and everyone kept staring at the board. It wasn't until I'd turned around and felt with my aura that I realized Rebekah had compelled everyone. No one could hear us.

"Love, I don't need you to tell me anything." She said. "You'll show me."

"Fuck. You." I spat at her. "I don't know what you want, and I don't care. Leave Mystic Falls or I swear I'll kill you."

She blinked. "And while you're doing that, who's going to save your father?"

I stopped. "What?"

"I mean granted, my relationship with my father has been a little strained over the years, but you seem to have a pretty good one with yours. We both know it'll take a lot of time and effort to kill me, more than you have at the moment, so I'm just wondering. While you're doing that, who's going to stop Kol from killing daddy dearest?"

I was frozen. I wasn't comprehending.

"You don't have that much time." She looked at the clock. "I'd say maybe twenty minutes."

I was out of my seat and running. I heard Rebekah calling to me.

"I'll get your homework for this class, love!" she yelled. "Wouldn't want you to fall behind!"

The double doors blew open as I ran to my car. I got inside and sped out of the parking lot so fast, I almost spun out. I tried to feel for my father, but something was blocking me. I banged on my steering wheel and honked at some elderly person going two miles per hour. When I got to my neighborhood I sped through the short cut and sped to my driveway, almost hitting my father's car. I was out of the car, up the steps, and in the house in eight seconds.

Kol and my father were sitting in the kitchen.

"Would you look at that?" Kol said, dark eyes flashing. "Give Rebekah a task and she comes through. Tell me, how are you sweetheart?"

I was chanting a spell I'd read in Melissa's spell book. I would decimate Kol. I would ruin him and his fucking sister.

"I wouldn't do that." Kol said with a cold smile. "Anything happens to me, daddy here, takes a knife to his jugular. Isn't that right, Rudy?"

"Right." My father said, smiling at Kol like they were best friends. "You remember this knife right?"

I looked at my dad to see him holding one of the steak knives from this infomercial he saw late one night. He was always the kind of guy who would buy something to see if it worked. They were the sharpest knives we had and they cut through anything.

My father would bleed out in minutes.

"What do you want?" I asked in a low voice.

"Well it's not what I want as much as it's what you're going to do." He said. "You have the magic here, not me."

I had half a mind to magic the knife away from my father, but I knew Kol would kill him the second I did.

"I'm going to give your father a signal." Kol said. "Since he's a football fan, I've decided to make it something he enjoys. When I say it, your father's going to slit his throat from one side to the next unless you can stop him."

I moved forward, Kol held up a hand.

"Magically of course."

I had never reversed a vampire's compulsion. Ever. The thought of it sounded way too mental for my liking. Snapping someone out of something was one thing. Using magic to undo someone else's magic on the mind of a third person wasn't something I wanted to try.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked.

"Because Jonas and Alex failed miserably with their tasks. Getting you to embrace all of your magic shouldn't have been as hard as they made it."

Not this shit again. "I'm not embracing any darkness."

"Of course you are." Kol laughed. "Too much light in you."

I only stared.

"Did I tell you I traveled with witches once?" He went on. "Witches that made your power look like parlor tricks. They believed that once someone came into their own power, they had to accept all of it. You've only scratched the surface of your magic. There's no real depth to it. You ignore your wants and needs for the good of others, I know your type. You let the light in others flourish and smother yourself in theirs."

"Let my dad go and step outside, I can show you some depth."

Kol laughed. "I like that about you. That you'd challenge me knowing who I am."

"As far as I'm concerned you're another vampire."

He shrugged. "Maybe, but I'm sure even you can admit I'm in a higher league."

And soon as the word left his mouth, my father picked up the knife and brought it to his throat.

I grabbed at his arm, but he shoved me backwards, sending me to the floor. My father had always been strong, but he'd never been that strong before. My father had pressed the tip of the knife into his throat. I could see blood as he began to drag the blade across his skin.

I sat up and focused my magic on him. "_Stop!_"

His eyes met mine and he stopped for a second. A long one. Before he smiled and kept dragging the blade.

Kol chuckled. "Great effort, try again."

I reached out my palm and yanked it backwards, pulling my dad's arm and knife away from his throat. It worked for the same amount of time as the last spell did, but my dad snapped out of it and brought the knife back to his neck harder, coughing as the edge of the blade cute deeper into his skin.

I tried everything. Heating the handle of the blade until he felt enough pain to drop it. The skin of his hand sizzled and burned before his hand started to bleed. I thought about making the knife disappear from his hand, but the spell that came to mind was too general. It would either make him disappear completely or make his hand disappear. Neither of which I knew how to fix. Channeling Damon was out because Damon couldn't undo anything an Original had done.

"Stop this." I begged, my tears falling.

"That's not my job." He said. "You're the descendent of Ayana, a witch more powerful than my own mother. Embrace that power or your father dies."

I got back to my feet and ran towards my father, but this time Kol stopped me. He kicked the kitchen table away from him and sent it colliding with me, knocking me back against the counter and down to the floor again. I was back up and trying for my father, but this time Kol grabbed me by the throat.

"Look at him," Kol said softly. "He's going to die all because you're still hanging on to this false perception of decency."

Blood was pouring from my father's neck, his face twitching as the blade moved.

"Would that be good, Bonnie?" he asked, wiping at my tears. "Letting your father die because you don't want to save him more than you want to protect your morals?"

I watched his blood soak into his favorite sweater. I watched his head loll from blood loss.

Kol tossed me back on the floor and went to the front door.

"Pathetic." He said. He closed the door behind him.

My hands covered my mouth as I watched, trying to get myself together. I had to do something, I had to use something. Nothing was coming to mind.

Until something did.

Whenever Grams used to teach me about magic, she always stressed that every witch had a boundary. There was a line that some witches couldn't cross, a line that most shouldn't, but that was what mad a witch powerful, her morals. No, her will. Every decent witch, she'd told me, had something she wouldn't do. For awhile, mainly up until now, I'd let my grandmother's will and morals dictate a lot of my magic.

Sitting here watching my father slit his own throat changed things.

I wiped at my tears and let my fear fade. My father was still cutting, but there wasn't much I could do about it at the moment. All of this, every bit of it, was about me. I had to become powerful. Grams had told me that a witch realized was a witch powerful, but I didn't have time for realization. I needed results.

One thing that everyone who wanted my magic always had in common was that they wanted me to focus on myself. Even Damon. I had to focus on my wants, my own personal wants and the things I let go undone for myself take precedence over everything else. I had to let go of that sense of good and evil and make it so that there was only me. No one was here with me now, no good, no evil. There was my father slitting his throat and there was time I didn't have. There was me.

"Only me." I said in a monotone voice.

I called forth my magic and let it flow freely, letting go of my boundaries and casting my cares and worries aside. I didn't know what my friends were doing or even if they noticed I was gone. I didn't care about any of them at the moment. They're safety, they're needs, what was going on with Rebekah. I didn't care about any of it.

And it felt amazing.

The waves of magic washed through me uninhibited and selfish. I unlocked every hidden desire I had and let my magic taste it. My annoyance with Elena's constant whining, my irritancy at Caroline's shallowness. My disgust for Stefan's self loathing, my disgust at myself for allowing all of this to go on. My want for power and my thirst for freedom. I let go of my grandmother's warning and screamed to hell with them mentally. It was Bonnie's time, this was Bonnie's turn. Fuck the rest of them.

Fuck them all.

It was like my magic was rejoicing inside of me, taking over my emotions and sending me into a state of calm. My father was cutting himself open and I wanted him to stop.

And he would stop.

"Daddy." I said. "Look at me."

His eyes were closing when I said it, now they were open and focused.

The magic, the _power_, I was feeling finally felt like it was mine. No, it was more than me. I had always identified with it, always knew that I was the one using it, but now I could feel it, really feel it. It soothed my worries and buried itself in everything inside of me. It was bigger than me and I wanted it to be. This was power. This was everything.

"Put the knife down." I said.

His fingers released the handle, the blade fell to the floor.

I got to my feet and walked over to him, watching him choke and sputter. The look in his eyes was one of confusion, he opened his mouth to say something. I shook my head and put my hand over the wound he'd created, feeling his blood against my palm. I murmured an incantation, looking into his eyes as I did. When I took my hand away, the wound had closed like it'd never been there.

"Sleep." I said in a soft voice.

His head slumped forward. He was snoring.

When I looked around the kitchen, the table slid out of place and the blood that had fallen on the floor, I didn't feel anything. I waved my hand and the blood was gone. I tilted my head and the table slid back to where it belonged. I went to the floor and sat there, just sat there feeling all of the magic.

Twenty minutes later, Damon sped through my front door.

He ran to me and pulled me into his arms. "What happened? I saw Kol in my head."

I felt him and I didn't, the magic was so intense I didn't feel anything but it.

"Kol's gone." I said.

Damon pulled back and looked at me, searching me over for injury. "Are you okay?"

I nodded slowly, fighting to keep the magic under control.

"I'm fine."

**A/N: A very, very, dear friend to me said this.**

"**Don't nobody care about work, or school, or your struggle. Write my chapter."**

**So I won't bore you guys with the details…okay maybe I will.**

**The truth was that even though I still planned on finishing the story, at the time with all of everything going on, I felt uninspired. Apart of my story felt unrealistic, some of it felt too fast, some of it felt irrelevant…it was just a lot going on. But then, I started to get back into what I wanted for bonnie and Damon and I got inspired again. So here I am. Don't judge me, I'm sorry.**

**Work. School. Planning my trip to London next month. WHOO!**

**Bonnie embraced the magic, but she kind of had to. The originals are back and in the next chapter she and Damon go to Charm City. I'm excited! More Roman and Melissa you guys. You know how much I love them. **

**So let's get down to the real shit here folks. Vampire diaries is semi cute, semi pissing me the hell off. Bonnie waits until she's dead to FINALLY realize that shit isn't okay? Really? Katherine's whinier and I get that she's human and everything, but the thing I loved the most about Katherine was that no matter what situation she's been in, and she has been in worse, she always maintained somewhat of a level head. It's like now they're making her a brat when she was never a brat, she was just bitchy. **

**I'm fed up.**

**And so the hot light skinned guy trying to get with Caroline couldn't be for Bonnie. Last time I checked, didn't Caroline have a boyfriend? Didn't she have two love interests last season? Three if you're into Stefan/Caroline.**

**Still Fed up.**

**Jeremy's hot this season. That hair gotta go tho. Either part it down the middle or cut it. That three inches to the left half diagonal part to show that he's good is getting on my nerves. I can't deal.**

**I'm a huge Scandal fan. I'm so glad it's back. The most annoying person on that show is Fitz. How he fucks up and just comes back and says "hi" and all is forgiven pisses me off. Liv. Girl. Pull it together. I need you to do better. Cyrus's shit isn't together this season, but I am LIVING for Abbie's hair lawd.**

**If they could just get Kat Graham a decent weave.**

**And two shows I'm in love with.**

**Sleepy Hollow. Ichabod and Abby will be together if it's the last thing I do. Screw Katrina. SCREW KATRINA. DO YOU HEAR ME?**

**And American Horror Story Coven. I only have one thing to say regarding how much I love the show: Expect Madison fanfiction. I adore her.**

**Hopefully you guys don't hate me for taking forever and hopefully you all love this chapter. REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! PM if you want!**


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